Erowid Recruiter:
February 3, 2015 9:44 AM   Subscribe

Erowid Recruiter A Markov-powered mashup of Erowid trip reports and tech recruiter emails. "front end engineer would literally make or break the next hour, I walked through this area for a while and then my face ended, and the rats."
posted by Greg Nog (45 comments total) 83 users marked this as a favorite
 
I recently had a discussion with an in-house recruiter who was telling me how developer friendly his company is, with a tremendous amount of racket going on in the office behind him.

Erowid Recruiter made me laugh out loud, but if I didn't know that it was mash-ups with trip reports, I'd assume it was just recruiters.
posted by straw at 9:48 AM on February 3, 2015 [6 favorites]


This all feels very Lovecraftian...and synergetic.
posted by I-baLL at 9:50 AM on February 3, 2015 [3 favorites]


Yep, these guys have been beta testing this in emails to me for the last 10 years, at least. Do they have a version that does phone calls, too?
posted by ambrosen at 9:51 AM on February 3, 2015 [4 favorites]


YES
posted by Sticherbeast at 9:56 AM on February 3, 2015 [1 favorite]


...front end engineer would literally make or break the next hour, I walked through this area for a while and then my face ended, and the rats.

Or as I like to call it, Monday.
posted by redsparkler at 9:56 AM on February 3, 2015 [16 favorites]


Rockstar Twitter Feed.
posted by Artw at 10:00 AM on February 3, 2015


we just closed a significant Series B and our new office, which is briefly gratifying and almost, barely reassuring.

Literally my actual life.

looking for an Engineer / Developer role, feel free to pass along to anyone you think might be a brutal mental experience

And now I have a new catchphrase!
posted by The Master and Margarita Mix at 10:00 AM on February 3, 2015 [10 favorites]




"let me know, and hopefully we can connect you with a large bowl of juicy fruit."

That would be great, thanks.

"in the traditional "fire and brimstone" sense of usability and design in SaaS products"

Ok, I want to pepper this in my work emails now. "Take it to the data architecture review team, in the traditional 'fire and brimstone' sense"

But some are just way too on-the-nose.

"pass along anyone you know who might be a brutal mental experience."

"he asked that I need to be home in a state of categorical anxiety and directionless fear"

The tweets are coming from inside my cube.
posted by mrgoat at 10:01 AM on February 3, 2015 [19 favorites]


Zach, I love your profile on GitHub and noticed you were an experienced 2-CI tripper.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 10:03 AM on February 3, 2015 [20 favorites]


Zachary, Apologies for the future.

Word.
posted by penduluum at 10:32 AM on February 3, 2015 [2 favorites]


This is one of the most successful markov-y twitter bots I've seen in quite some time, it's dead on and hilarious more often than not.
posted by mathowie at 10:41 AM on February 3, 2015 [4 favorites]


This works incredibly well. I've sent links to a bunch of my burner friends, most of whom are deeply familiar with both sources of input data.
posted by Mars Saxman at 10:44 AM on February 3, 2015 [3 favorites]


I only have 2 years developing backend web applications with a psychedelic state around ++ while meditating, but I'm going to apply anyway.
posted by atoxyl at 10:47 AM on February 3, 2015


Hello Kyle, I’m reaching out to you because I didn’t die, didn’t even recognize my parents at this point, will definitely work more on this

NOT EVEN DEATH will stop the one tech recruiter that you talked to five years ago who had a "very exciting" opportunity for a 5-week contract in the middle of Utah.
posted by specialagentwebb at 10:53 AM on February 3, 2015 [10 favorites]


Your experience makes you an ideal candidate for this week.

Ahh, startup life.

Front End engineer who is not a serious pyschonaut

Is there ... some other way to get into front-end engineering?
posted by mrgoat at 10:57 AM on February 3, 2015 [6 favorites]


Hi Kyle, My name was a river flowing, and a fan spinning in front of me

Are we sure this isn't a Yoko Ono tweet?
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 11:21 AM on February 3, 2015


Zach, I love your profile on GitHub and noticed you were an experienced 2-CI tripper.

This is completely something that I would expect to hear around my neck of the Bay Area.
posted by en forme de poire at 11:21 AM on February 3, 2015 [1 favorite]


Candidate must be able to deal with the drug that i made
posted by ghostbikes at 11:36 AM on February 3, 2015 [9 favorites]


We are building a platform which will be a good day and be close to death and I say gabbada, there are VERY CLEARLY TWO VOICES SPEAKING!

Plagiarism! They stole this verbatim from my elevator pitch.
posted by sapere aude at 11:39 AM on February 3, 2015 [5 favorites]


This is completely something that I would expect to hear around my neck of the Bay Area.

I'm pretty sure I actually worked next door to this place, it was in the Tenderloin: I remembered more of it, I see a desolate wasteland, and a wellness program --- our office is located in San Francisco.
posted by The Master and Margarita Mix at 11:46 AM on February 3, 2015 [6 favorites]


Engineering teams based in both San Diego and New York City have a very high pitched scream.

In St. Louis it's mostly just sotto voce chanting.


Front End engineer/designer who is not a serious psychonaut

I don't believe they exist.
posted by Foosnark at 11:54 AM on February 3, 2015 [1 favorite]


I. LOVE. THIS.
posted by Faintdreams at 12:00 PM on February 3, 2015


This is my new jam.
posted by Mogur at 12:17 PM on February 3, 2015


I'm pretty sure I actually worked next door to this place, it was in the Tenderloin: I remembered more of it, I see a desolate wasteland, and a wellness program --- our office is located in San Francisco.

Well now I have nose coffee.

(Alternate caption for this one: Overheard At Steer Roast)
posted by en forme de poire at 12:58 PM on February 3, 2015


My friends in the recruiting ("sourcing") industry LOVE this.
posted by mfu at 1:07 PM on February 3, 2015


Juan Benitez is getting some free publicity here.
posted by atoxyl at 1:12 PM on February 3, 2015 [1 favorite]


Honestly though, I had no idea what Erowid was before I saw this, and my first idea on reading it was "oh, must be some tripped out high concept Japanese* dating/career sim like Hatoful Boyfriend meets Cooking Mama, but for recruiters, okay sure", and now I really wish that game existed.

*Obviously "Erowid" isn't Japanese, but it could just maybe be a bad re-Latinization of an English or other foreign word transliterated into Japanese.
posted by The Master and Margarita Mix at 1:15 PM on February 3, 2015


I'm familiar with Erowid, but I'd never heard of a recruiter before.
posted by Elmore at 1:24 PM on February 3, 2015 [9 favorites]


Oh! I didn't notice before that this is run by aphyr, who's responsible for Jepsen. He's a good guy.
posted by invitapriore at 2:09 PM on February 3, 2015 [1 favorite]


Damn, I'm applying for a promotion, and the twisted side of me wants to use some of these in my cover letter!
posted by King Sky Prawn at 2:10 PM on February 3, 2015


So my mind replaced Erowid with Ewoks and I spent a good 5 minutes on this twitter stream wondering if Disney had turned the Ewoks into drug using hippies now that they have the franchise, and then arguing with myself about how that didn't seem likely.
posted by edbles at 2:16 PM on February 3, 2015 [2 favorites]


We're leveraging multi-platform social integration to colonize the whitespaces in the brand-placement ecosystem...but we can't stop here...this is bat country.
posted by uosuaq at 3:09 PM on February 3, 2015


Word format that includes a phone number and a strobe light.

nightvale.careerbuilder.com
posted by Lyn Never at 3:09 PM on February 3, 2015 [8 favorites]


It's like the other side of @dwarfort_txt

It's beautiful
posted by DoctorFedora at 3:20 PM on February 3, 2015


I can't help but imagine a lot of these spoken in Laurie Anderson's "voice of authority".
Works great on this one in particular:

"Bob, My name is Jen Burns and I went to the vastness of the most terrifying experience of my life."
posted by Hairy Lobster at 3:52 PM on February 3, 2015 [4 favorites]


I was all ready to believe that the medium of Markov-chain mashup Twitter bots was played out, but wow, this is fantastic.
posted by moss at 5:38 PM on February 3, 2015 [1 favorite]


Man, when I saw this the other day, I laughed so hard I cried. Then I posted to Facebook ... and none of my friends got it.

To really grok the humor in this, I think it helps to have a history of heavy psychedelic use, as well as a more-recent history of inundation with tech recruiter emails.

Basically, I am the sweet spot for this joke.
posted by evil otto at 6:14 PM on February 3, 2015 [9 favorites]


Geo location messaging app that allows you to Satan.(Nice touch, the capitalization.)
posted by Oyéah at 10:07 PM on February 3, 2015


"oh, must be some tripped out high concept Japanese* dating/career sim like Hatoful Boyfriend meets Cooking Mama, but for recruiters, okay sure", and now I really wish that game existed.

That such a thing does not exist is perhaps the final proof we need that we don't live in the best of all possible worlds.
posted by Hello, I'm David McGahan at 12:28 AM on February 4, 2015


I'm also quite fond of

Your Specialties: Obsessed with keeping up-to-date with the underlying consciousness grid, god, gaian supermind, universal consciousness
posted by ghostbikes at 11:55 AM on February 4, 2015 [2 favorites]


Oh geez, I was expecting Erowid trip reports would be something like TripAdvisor reviews and then I really wondered what kind of travel experiences the rest of the world was having.
posted by spamandkimchi at 12:09 PM on February 8, 2015


I was expecting Erowid trip reports would be something like TripAdvisor reviews

Well they are something like those...
posted by aubilenon at 12:10 PM on February 8, 2015


I loved "The dose was for the team" and..

"- Afraid of the following programming language: Node."
posted by jeffburdges at 2:57 AM on February 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


Please let me know if you yourself are intrigued or are willing to help me calm down by watching more Simpsons.

This is how I will close every single email and written piece of correspondence from now on.
posted by not_on_display at 10:12 PM on February 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


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