Jose Mourinho 46 Minute Documentary
February 20, 2015 9:34 AM   Subscribe

Football/Soccerfilter. Jose Mourinho is a football manager. But he is more. He is The Special One. A few years ago a short documentary came out about him. Bonus: Mourinho on Mario Balotelli.
posted by josher71 (33 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
Let's not forget he shares an account with MeFi's very own quidnunc kid.
posted by Iridic at 9:43 AM on February 20, 2015 [3 favorites]

I really wish football was more popular on the MeFi...the years without Jose at Chelsea were brutal for me. It's unreal how much better they are when he's in change, a la Fergie' United.
posted by GreyboxHero at 9:53 AM on February 20, 2015 [3 favorites]

I think Jose is a genuinely charming person, and I think I would probably get along with him on a personal level, completely unrelated to football.

However, his constant whinging, gamesmanship off the field, and conspiracy theories, not to mention the incredibly uninteresting style of football he advocates makes me wish he would pick any other league than the English one in which to manage.

In short, Be Champions?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:56 AM on February 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

He has the kind of face you want to slap... and I'm not just saying that as a Man City fan*.

* Yeah I'm pretty much just saying that as a Man City fan.
posted by cvp at 10:10 AM on February 20, 2015

However, his constant whinging, gamesmanship off the field, and conspiracy theories, not to mention the incredibly uninteresting style of football he advocates makes me wish he would pick any other league than the English one in which to manage.

And this is why I like him. He makes the English league way more interesting. Same with Balotelli. So many people involved in football are rather dull. I like it when people spice it up.
posted by josher71 at 10:11 AM on February 20, 2015

He is modern football and modern football is him.

The endless dirty oligarch money and corporate control, the meticulously planned and executed mental aggression, the $5,000 coats and Range Rovers, the playing averages cynically for every nanosecond of possible advantage, the negative tactics and downright unmemorable football, the public bullying of any and every official involved in refereeing the game, the credit card sponsorships, the injustice bunker mentality, and the theatrical physical aggression backed with no actual courage (Arsene Wenger, 15 years his senior, nearly dashed him to the floor without even trying recently). And he's never played the game himself either.

David Runciman's LRB article on him was superb.
posted by colie at 10:24 AM on February 20, 2015 [6 favorites]

Mourinho is infuriating for all of us who are not Chelsea supporters. He is brilliant, in a league of his own, and he is one of the few people in the world whose ego and petulant arrogance I can tolerate, because, well, he can back it up. Shamefully well.

I have no idea how he does it, but he seems unable to fail. He gets the best players in the world that he wants and he gets them to do things that other managers only dream of.

And so often Spurs is the team that proves how brilliant he is. (Except this past January...boy that was a treat!)
posted by salishsea at 10:41 AM on February 20, 2015 [2 favorites]

Let's not forget the children's program, Mourinho and the Special Ones
posted by just another scurvy brother at 10:42 AM on February 20, 2015

Previously about a fan and Mourinho.
posted by Ideefixe at 10:44 AM on February 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

Well maybe he's a bit arrogant but he's no Jose Arrogantio or anything.
posted by ikalliom at 10:48 AM on February 20, 2015

It's unreal how much better they are when he's in change, a la Fergie' United.

Well, except for:
1) Actually Parking a Real Bus
2) Not Being Racist

Although, to be fair, that's just employees and supporters. Not like any important Chelsea players also have problems with parking and racism.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:10 AM on February 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

I'll always be grateful to Mourinho and his team for their wonderfully entertaining "disgrace".

January 23: José Mourinho: "Chelsea losing to Bradford in FA Cup would be a disgrace"
January 24: Chelsea 2-4 Bradford City: Chelsea in disgrace after Bradford City pull off massive FA Cup shock

Chelsea 2-4 Bradford City highlights (YT)
posted by shortfuse at 11:14 AM on February 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

It's well known in the UK that hooligans who have been banned from other clubs for fighting/racism/general thuggery often become active Chelsea supporters.

It's interesting how Mourinho reacted when asked about the Paris Metro racists incident: at first he simply mumbles about himself and his own emotions, barely coherently and beginning almost every sentence with 'I', and then offers the telling observation that "these people are not Chelsea Football Club. Chelsea is the owner, the board, the manager, the players, the people that work here, and the true Chelsea supporters." That's just the order he ranks them in his world - with the people who actually pony up the cash to watch each week right at the end.
posted by colie at 11:19 AM on February 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

Actually, I forgot the single worst thing about Mourinho: his recently devised tactic of leaving the touchline and disappearing into the changing rooms a few minutes before the end of a game, often attempting to perform the traditional post-match handshake with his opposing manager as he does so.

Roy Keane (one of the game's true legends, and I am not a MUFC fan) will in all seriousness probably kill him if he tries it on him again.

(I'll stop now!)
posted by colie at 11:33 AM on February 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

Ah, say of Chelsea what you want though, their fans didn't let money change their club.
posted by MartinWisse at 12:30 PM on February 20, 2015

Don't remind me about the New Years of the lowest points of my decade+ love of Chelsea. If you had told me that Mourinho's biggest defeat of all time, across any team he managed, would be against Spurs (in THREE POINT LANE OF ALL PLACES!)...boy oh boy would I have ripped you.

Oh hey, it's the old all Chelsea fans are racist thing, along with the John Terry "found totally innocent in a court of law" thing. I loved the part about where Anton Ferdinand inists that Ashely Cole has to back him because black brothers in arms, amirite?

Not saying the dude is an angel, but all of the cliche shit about him isn't true.

Let's be real, most people would love Mourinho if he came to your club.
posted by GreyboxHero at 1:46 PM on February 20, 2015

FWIW those fake Mourinho quotes in that MeFi profile above are fucking excellent...this one especially:

Hello! Mourinho here, genius level IQ, come to talk on your MessiTalk which is website. Some say to me, "Hey Jose, can Barcelona cope with cold night at Stoke, or are they nancy boys who are UEFA's special girlfriend?" I say: No, and Yes. That is why I have pushed Stoke City manager in the eyeball and will be taking his job as manager. Please don't call me arrogant. God thinks I'm a ...
posted by GreyboxHero at 1:52 PM on February 20, 2015

Still no apology for this.
posted by Prince Lazy I at 2:05 PM on February 20, 2015

John Terry is an asshole.
posted by josher71 at 2:14 PM on February 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

Balotelli does spice it up. But what if the majority of players acted like that? We saw a similar situation this past weekend on one of our teenager's teams, where a little prima donna player took the ball out of his mate's hands as he was setting up the penalty and continued to fend him off with his slappy hands. He one cheered. Awkward. Granted we were already ahead, it wasn't a game changer...not sure how it would've panned out if it was the winning goal... in a big tournament.
posted by Emor at 2:36 PM on February 20, 2015

Henderson had business taking a penalty with Mario on the field. He is excellent in taking them.

I'm glad not all players are as colorful as Mario but i am definitely glad they aren't all boring.
posted by josher71 at 3:29 PM on February 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

Yeah...we can pick apart Mourinho's life and character and teams all we want, and I'll be at the front of the parade. But seriously. He is a really really really good football manager.

Watching Spurs and then Bradford have a go at him was wonderful, and even still the 5-0 defeat in his first El Classico was the most priceless of all.

And then I can't really think of other games he's lost. After all there have only been 94 of them from September 2000 to today. Fourteen and a half years, 725 games managed and he has only lost 94. In the last year and a half with Chelsea, he has only lost FIFTEEN.

You Chelsea fans are all wankers and so on, but holy hell, you have the manager of the century right now.
posted by salishsea at 5:50 PM on February 20, 2015

His comments about Ronaldo were seriously out of order and are one of the few times I found myself taking Ferguson's side of an argument.

Good manager but has cultivated a bitterness which would have broken Sir Bobby's heart.
posted by fullerine at 6:10 PM on February 20, 2015

It's cool watching Ferguson in the video linked in the FPP. I think Ferguson always gave way better than he got, and Ronaldo never needed to sweat it. He's as good a footballer as Mourinho is a manager. And they seemed to work well together later. :-)

It feels like that spat was like watching the gods on Olympus have a tussle. You could take sides, but you were always backing one god against another.
posted by salishsea at 6:17 PM on February 20, 2015

With regard to the Paris incident, there is absolutely nothing connecting Jose to it, and nothing would suggest that his management has in any way fostered an atmosphere of racism at Chelsea.

Furthermore, absolutely no-one is suggesting that all Chelsea supporters are a bunch of brainless, violent racists in league with the National Front.

They're called the EDL now.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:29 PM on February 20, 2015

I must admit I know next to nothing about football, but I do remember when I was living in Spain in 2012, that in a fit of excitement over Real Madrid's winning season, my landlord's son and his cousins got completely plastered at a First Communion reception and sang a paean to Jose Mourinho. It was to the tune of "You're Just Too Good To Be True", and went:

Jose Mourinho! Da da da da da da!
Jose Mourinho! Da da da da da da!
Jose Mourinho!
posted by chainsofreedom at 7:44 PM on February 20, 2015

Hello Mourinho is here. Yes, I have won many trophy, many titles, many Champions League and now I am film star, you can see documentary. You can see Sir Ferguson, you can see Sir Bobbyson, everyone you see will tell you that I am great manager. I win English football, Italian football, Portuguese football, Spanish football titles. Chelsea loves me, you love me, and God loves me. Camera also loves me. But they call MetaFilter "the Blue", when you know who is the real blue, this is Chelsea. And so, I think if MetaFilter loves me, I will manage this site too. Pep Mathowie, he is not good for this site, he has not won any Champions League, yes? No. So, please, vote #1 for Mourinho for MetaFilter manager because we can win, fans can win, Drogba will be moderator and also John Terry. Also I now call this site MourinhoFilter. Why? Because I am a special one.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 9:48 PM on February 20, 2015 [6 favorites]

'Mercurial' was the word that struck me every time I saw Mario up close; I worked at various MCFC locations during his time there (training ground/stadium etc) and the number of times that man tried to tip me (which is strictly forbidden on pain of being fired) you would not believe. I choose to believe he's fundamentally well-intentioned, and it's enjoyable to see him play.
posted by The Zeroth Law at 11:20 PM on February 20, 2015 [4 favorites]

Wenger obviously not a big Mourinho fan after the "specialist in failure" line but it was fun to watch AW almost trounce him on the touch line.
posted by josher71 at 5:04 AM on February 21, 2015

The real question is "Will Wenger ever win a single match against the Jose?" Despite being pretty recent, the first half of the 6-0 may be my favorite half of football ever.

Was more surreal to me than the 7-1 at the WC, mostly because it was Wenger's 1000th game and the commentators were trying to hype him up.
posted by GreyboxHero at 12:58 PM on February 21, 2015

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