“And I promise, I will never be in a bicycle race—that I can tell you.”
June 17, 2015 7:09 AM   Subscribe

Real-estate mogul and reality-television star Donald Trump said Tuesday he will seek the Republican nomination for President of the United States. [New York Times]
The garrulous real estate developer whose name has adorned apartment buildings, hotels, Trump-brand neckties and Trump-brand steaks, announced on Tuesday his entry into the 2016 presidential race, brandishing his wealth and fame as chief qualifications in an improbable quest for the Republican nomination.

Related:
- Donald Trump on the Issues. [New York Times]
- The 10 best lines from Donald Trump's announcement speech. [Politco]
- The Secret to Donald Trump’s Hair. [TIME]
- Neil Young Is Displeased That Donald Trump Was 'Rockin' In The Free World' [NPR]
"Donald Trump was not authorized to use "Rockin' In The Free World" in his presidential candidacy announcement. Neil Young, a Canadian citizen, is a supporter of Bernie Sanders for President of the United States of America."
- Trump Tramples Facts [FactCheck.org]
• Trump claimed that economic growth has “never” been below zero until last quarter’s drop, which is far from true. It has been below zero 42 times since 1946.
• He said “there are no jobs” to be had. In fact, there were 5.4 million job openings recorded at the end of April, the most in 15 years.
• He said the “real” unemployment rate is “anywhere from 18 to 20 percent” and “maybe even 21 percent.” We see no factual basis for this opinion.
• He boasted he would have blocked new Ford plants in Mexico by threatening to impose a 35 percent tax on vehicles and parts made in Mexico and shipped to the U.S. But only Congress can impose taxes and such a tax would violate the North American Free Trade Agreement.
• Trump claimed the five Taliban leaders exchanged for Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl “are now back on the battlefield trying to kill us.” But all five remain in Qatar, where they continue to be monitored and are subject to a travel ban, according to the State Department.
• He also made the misleading claim that health care premium costs are going “up 29, 39, 49 and even 55 percent.” He’s talking about some proposed rate increases on the individual market that still need regulatory approval. There are also proposed rate decreases or single-digit increases that did not have to be submitted for review.
posted by Fizz (215 comments total) 18 users marked this as a favorite
 
Note to media (including Metafilter): you are not obligated to report on anything Donald Trump says or does.
posted by saturday_morning at 7:11 AM on June 17, 2015 [115 favorites]


I, for one, am looking forward to an inevitable "You won't have Donald Trump to kick around anymore" moment.
posted by Going To Maine at 7:13 AM on June 17, 2015 [10 favorites]


No thank you.
posted by boo_radley at 7:14 AM on June 17, 2015


Best of luck, Fuckface Von Clownstick.
posted by bondcliff at 7:14 AM on June 17, 2015 [59 favorites]


My god, his toupee grows ever more ridiculous.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 7:15 AM on June 17, 2015 [2 favorites]




Mr. Trump claimed last month that he had devised a “foolproof way” to defeat the Islamic State “very quickly.” But he refused to divulge it, saying he did not “want the enemy to know what I’m doing.”

Or... anybody else. I wonder how the bicycles fit into it.
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:16 AM on June 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


My favorite part of this:

My more libertarian-leaning friends on FB posting things like "He'll tell Congress they're all fired!" in complete sincerity.
posted by kuanes at 7:16 AM on June 17, 2015 [7 favorites]


"Improbable" meaning unlikely to succeed, since his entry into the race was quite probable.
posted by Obscure Reference at 7:17 AM on June 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


The NYT seems to have a script blocking selecting text to copy and paste, so I guess I won't, but the poll numbers indicate that a majority of even republican voters hate this guy.

It seems like publicity for his media brand. I can't imagine he'd even want the job if he got it, since right now his job is to be himself (an asshole) on TV and be the figurehead of a real estate empire. That's far easier and pays better.
posted by codacorolla at 7:18 AM on June 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


The DNC's statement was pretty snarky: "Today, Donald Trump became the second major Republican candidate to announce for president in two days. He adds some much-needed seriousness that has previously been lacking from the G.O.P. field, and we look forward hearing more about his ideas for the nation."
posted by dismas at 7:20 AM on June 17, 2015 [116 favorites]


NPR broadcast a brief clip this morning from his announcement, and I heard... people cheering? Where did these people come from? Did he pay them? Did anyone even really know that this announcement was happening?
posted by backseatpilot at 7:20 AM on June 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


I just saw something about how all his brand clothing crap is made in China. He's so deluded.
posted by discopolo at 7:21 AM on June 17, 2015


He really is just such an awful, hateful person. I kind of want to laugh because he's also ridiculous but then I read more of what he says and thinks and it's clear that he's just so terrible on every level, personal as well as professional and political.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 7:21 AM on June 17, 2015 [6 favorites]


"People say, 'Mr. Trump, you’re not a nice person.' But actually I am."

Oh, well, then, I stand corrected.
posted by backseatpilot at 7:22 AM on June 17, 2015 [30 favorites]


It'll be interesting to see if he has any effect on the conversation. Even if the other Republican candidates can rebut every point he makes, they have to start by paying attention to him in the first place. I look forward to the gymnastics.
posted by Mogur at 7:23 AM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


He also just doesn't make sense; he talks about how he thinks there aren't jobs and then (per that Vox link) he says "We have a 5 billion dollar website. I have so many websites ... I hire people. They do a website. It costs me three dollars." I mean, oh, okay, three dollars per website. This demonstrates a sound grasp of pricing and quality control and definitely shows that jobs are a priority since you're totally paying a reasonable wage for your product.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 7:24 AM on June 17, 2015 [13 favorites]




In all seriousness, I wonder what he gets out of doing this. He must know he has no hope at all of actually winning, or even of really influencing the election in any meaningful way. Is it just for fun? I guess if I had mountains of money it would be fun to launch a joke campaign. But he does seem somewhat serious.

I just can't see what he's going for with these stunts.
posted by Sangermaine at 7:29 AM on June 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


"Donald Trump was not authorized to use "Rockin' In The Free World" in his presidential candidacy announcement. Neil Young, a Canadian citizen, is a supporter of Bernie Sanders for President of the United States of America."

1) Unsanctioned use of music is not new for either party, though Dropkick Murphys win for best response tweet:
@ScottWalker @GovWalker please stop using our music in any way...we literally hate you !!!
Love, Dropkick Murphys
And 2) of course Young supports Sanders, but now I wonder what the celebrity support tally looks like now.

Also, the fact that this is a publicity stunt is not news to anyone. There is actually a decent write-up of this on ABC News.

Everyone plays along because everyone wins, at least where everyone is Donald Trump, his global brand, news organizations, and politicians who engage him because they can hop on his coat tails and gain more of their own media attention. And he only needs to make sense enough for a soundclip for news coverage, re-tweeting and all that jazz. And here we are, talking about it all, so he's continuing to succeed. It's hard to look away, when he offers you sprinkles on your giant donut.
posted by filthy light thief at 7:29 AM on June 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


Well, hopefully he'll piss away a bunch of his wealth on his "campaign" so his awful offspring will have less to damage the world with when he croaks.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:29 AM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


The escalator vine is totally mesmerizing... it's like he's already in Disney's Hall of Presidents
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 7:29 AM on June 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


I trust this man

What is this, I must know more.
posted by filthy light thief at 7:30 AM on June 17, 2015


omg it's GOP Clown Car II: The Clownening. has Hermann Cain made any announcements yet? i'm sure they're all looking forward to another round of fleecing the kind of rubes that vote in the GOP primary.
posted by indubitable at 7:30 AM on June 17, 2015 [14 favorites]


The DNC's actual response is amazing:

"Today, Donald Trump became the second major Republican candidate to announce for president in two days," DNC national press secretary Holly Shulman said in a statement. "He adds some much-needed seriousness that has previously been lacking from the GOP field, and we look forward [to] hearing more about his ideas for the nation."
posted by adamp88 at 7:30 AM on June 17, 2015 [6 favorites]


This year, I will vote for any candidate, any party, that uses "Cross-Eyed Mary" as their campaign theme song.
posted by thelonius at 7:32 AM on June 17, 2015 [10 favorites]


The sad thing is that Trump isn't really any less nuts than the rest of the Republican candidates.
posted by octothorpe at 7:32 AM on June 17, 2015 [5 favorites]


He's not running for President, he is running for Attention.
posted by soelo at 7:32 AM on June 17, 2015 [53 favorites]


At present, Mr. Trump said, rivals on the world stage do not take the United States seriously.

And he is sure to make sure that tradition continues. (insert rimshot here)
posted by Hactar at 7:34 AM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


I am looking forward to his departure from the race in 118 days.

(When he "announced" yesterday, he started a clock with the Federal Election Commission - in 120 days, he has to file paperwork with them formally declaring his candidacy. Considering that said paperwork is a) a public record and b) would contain things that Trump would prefer not be public record. So I fully expect he will withdraw prior to the filing deadline.)
posted by NoxAeternum at 7:35 AM on June 17, 2015 [55 favorites]


I was going to suggest that the next entrant would be Giorgio Tsoukalos, the "I'm not saying it was aliens but it was aliens" guy with the great hair, but he's not American. But I think all those sasquatch hunters are real live Americans, so I'll just suggest someone squatchy in general.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:36 AM on June 17, 2015 [2 favorites]




you are not obligated to report on anything Donald Trump says or does.

Just like the threat of a nuclear war, unpleasant as it is, you still take note of the event as it does have the potential to impact your life.
posted by Fizz at 7:36 AM on June 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


What is this, I must know more.

Eccentric video game director Taro Yoko showed up at a press event yesterday in costume as the character Emil from his game Nier, to announce a sequel to Nier. It was slightly less ridiculous than Trump's announcement.
posted by skymt at 7:37 AM on June 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


"We have a 5 billion dollar website. I have so many websites ... I hire people. They do a website. It costs me three dollars."

Ah, yes. A bold initiative to save the country with Geocities.
posted by sourwookie at 7:37 AM on June 17, 2015 [20 favorites]


Today's Daily News front page

Oh god, the replies.
Proves you're not a real newspaper. This is how you treat someone who built up this country
posted by uncleozzy at 7:39 AM on June 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


He's rich, famous, stupid, and rich. And he attributes it all to the SWEAT that his brow has never produced. He's the American Dream, and anybody who thinks he's not a viable candidate is overestimating the American Public. See also Ronald Reagan.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 7:39 AM on June 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


This is how Donald Trump sees himself.
This is how the rest of the world sees him.
posted by CincyBlues at 7:40 AM on June 17, 2015 [7 favorites]


Look, let's talk about the real issue here. Suppose that you're kidnapped by a twisted scientist and told that you have choices: starve to death, or live off of the milk produced by Donald Trump after he's been given lactation-inducing drugs. What do you do? Do you live on Trump Milk? Do you?
posted by the phlegmatic king at 7:40 AM on June 17, 2015 [55 favorites]


There is one frightening thing to consider:

Trump was very vocally anti-immigrant, particularly anti-Mexican, in his announcement; I heard a sound bite of him saying something about how Mexico only sent this country "drugs, criminals, and rapists," and that one of his plans would be to build a barrier wall along the Mexican border. Contrast that with Jeb Bush, who is so actively courting the Hispanic voter demographic that he actually subconsciously claimed he was Latino when he registered to vote in 2009. So it's very possible that Trump has basically solidified a voting bloc for Jeb Bush.

I still am seeing this as an "I'm getting popcorn now" moment.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:41 AM on June 17, 2015 [5 favorites]


Ah, yes. A bold initiative to save the country with Geocities.

Hell, I can make a website! You want a website? I can make you a website, believe me. There are ways. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you a website by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with flash.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 7:42 AM on June 17, 2015 [23 favorites]


“Who could witness that scene — a reality-television grotesque grunting about his own vast wealth — and not see the peerless sign of our times?”

Witless Ape Rides Escalator
posted by robbyrobs at 7:42 AM on June 17, 2015 [8 favorites]


As Slate has stated, his entry into the race will muck up the debates. As long as he can poll as one of the top ten candidates, then he'll have a slot that would normally go to an actual serious candidate that polls just a smidge below him.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 7:42 AM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


He's rich, famous, stupid, and rich. And he attributes it all to the SWEAT that his brow has never produced.

Now, now, you don't become that detached from reality without dedication, hard work, and grit.
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:43 AM on June 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


In her introduction for him, his daughter talked about how he was saving the Old Post Office Building and as a DC resident I got so angry I can barely see.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 7:43 AM on June 17, 2015 [8 favorites]


They do a website. It costs me three dollars. All you have to do is use promocode TRUMP4PREZ at Squarespace.com. It's that easy.
posted by uncleozzy at 7:43 AM on June 17, 2015 [13 favorites]


Waiting for the reveal that Donald Trump's true profession is performance artist.
posted by nubs at 7:45 AM on June 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


From filthy light thief's link:
Trump's record of campaign donations also would be problematic. Although he has given generously to Republicans, he also has contributed more than $150,000 over the years to the Democratic Party and Democratic candidates, including such Republican bête noirs as Hillary Clinton, Rep. Charles Rangel (D-NY), Sens. John Kerry (D-Mass.) and Ted Kennedy (D-Mass.), campaign finance reports show.

As recently as January 2008, the records show, Trump made a $25,000 donation to the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee, the political operation that worked to keep the chamber in Democratic hands under Sen. Harry Reid (D-Nev.).
This is gonna be good.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:45 AM on June 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


God I hate performance art.
posted by echocollate at 7:45 AM on June 17, 2015 [10 favorites]


This guy's chances of being elected U.S. President are only better than mine because I'm Constitutionally ineligible to run.
posted by The Card Cheat at 7:46 AM on June 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


The way things are going with this right now, though, I get the impression that the winner of the Republican primary is (like last time) going to be the candidate that can keep his/her head down the longest and let the circular firing squad do its thing. Who's that going to be?
posted by backseatpilot at 7:47 AM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


the only thing i agree with him on is that the unemployment rate is much higher than reported. there may also be a lot of jobs, but as anyone who's ever tried to a find a job can attest, if you lost your job as an almost white collar/white collar professional it's really hard to find another job as such. and target is probably not going to hire to run the register because you're overqualified.

but even a stopped clock is right twice a day .....

so back to toupee jokes!
posted by sio42 at 7:47 AM on June 17, 2015


Wait now, is Donald Trump a joke candidate like Howard the Duck or Rick Santorum, or a real candidate like Vermin Supreme or Michael Bickelmeyer?
posted by Cookiebastard at 7:47 AM on June 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


"Performance artists."

"I hate performance artists."

(guns engine)
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 7:48 AM on June 17, 2015 [8 favorites]


My more libertarian-leaning friends on FB posting things like "He'll tell Congress they're all fired!" in complete sincerity.

Like what...like a good thing?

He’s the epitome of what’s wrong with the circus that is national discourse.

Back in the day when Adams called Jefferson called an atheist libertine coward who was the son of a half-breed Indian squaw, sired by a Virginia mulatto father and Jefferson fired back that Adams was a hideous hermaphroditical character, which has neither the force and firmness of a man, nor the gentleness and sensibility of a woman – they meant it.

They were, at least, in earnest and the epithets were just a method in service of the campaign in order to put an agenda, policies, actual ideals, into place in government.
I see no method here at all beyond self-service. And that should be done in privacy (unless you’re Diogenes)

Do people still have that kind of time on their hands that it can be wasted with these idiots?
Or are they just that cynical there’s no need to have any issues at hand to consider.

Mitt Romney was just as much of an egotist, but I think he was at least sincere. As wrong headed as it may have been at least he espoused something.
posted by Smedleyman at 7:50 AM on June 17, 2015 [20 favorites]


Mr. Trump,/strike Nixon claimed last month that he had devised a “foolproof way” to defeat the Islamic State Vietcong

Sheesh. That song stank the first time it was played back in the Sixties. Though that baloney did help get Nixon elected, so maybe Trump thinks we will get fooled again.
posted by Gelatin at 7:51 AM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Seth Meyers in 2011: Donald Trump has been saying that he will run for President as a Republican. Which is surprising because I just assumed he was running as a joke.

And the best part is that Trump isn't even humble enough to laugh along with everyone.
posted by obscure simpsons reference at 7:53 AM on June 17, 2015 [12 favorites]


This is good news...for Hillary!
posted by [expletive deleted] at 7:53 AM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


The NYT seems to have a script blocking selecting text to copy and paste, so I guess I won't, but the poll numbers indicate that a majority of even republican voters hate this guy.
"Trump’s net favorability rating (favorable minus unfavorable) of -32 percentage points stands out for its pure terribleness at this point in the campaign. Like his unfavorable rating, it is by far the worst of the 106 presidential candidates since 1980 who are in our database."
posted by Johnny Assay at 7:53 AM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


As Slate has stated, his entry into the race will muck up the debates. As long as he can poll as one of the top ten candidates, then he'll have a slot that would normally go to an actual serious candidate that polls just a smidge below him.

Considering that Trump is the political equivalent of the Mendoza Line, well...I'm going to say that's no big loss.
posted by NoxAeternum at 7:56 AM on June 17, 2015 [6 favorites]


I stopped watching wrestling years ago. Is The Donald supposed to be a face or a heel by now?

(Hang on. I'm receiving an update from my producer...)
posted by gauche at 7:56 AM on June 17, 2015 [5 favorites]


“And I promise, I will never be in a bicycle race—that I can tell you.”

Let us not forget the Tour de Trump.
posted by steinwald at 7:59 AM on June 17, 2015 [6 favorites]


Those who grew up in the '80s might remember the Bloom County comic series where Trump and Bill the Cat swap brains.

In the strip, this happened *after* Bill the Cat ran for President, but in this dark timeline it could have happened decades ago. Connie Chung isn't on TV anymore, but look closely to see if Trump coughs up a hairball on Norah O'Donnell.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:04 AM on June 17, 2015 [22 favorites]


...and we look forward hearing more about his ideas for the nation.

I'm reading this in a room with a lot of glare on my screen from the windows, and I first misread this as "his ideas for the moon".

It made exactly as much sense.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 8:05 AM on June 17, 2015 [6 favorites]


Yes yes yes yes yes

/Stefon
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 8:11 AM on June 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


the only thing i agree with him on is that the unemployment rate is much higher than reported.

What do you mean by this, though?

The thing is that the BLS reports all of these broader measures of unemployment. So you might feel like the headline number is inaccurate because it ignores discouraged workers or something but it's not that those numbers aren't reported. They're right there in the press release. One could reasonably make the case that it should be more emphasized or discussed more in terms of policy, I suppose, but Trump doesn't appear to be doing that.

As that factcheck.org thing explains the basis for Trump's comment appears to be an out-of-date assertion by an economist (incidentally, one who appears to specialize in trade and doesn't appear to have any particular expertise on labor markets - which is fine, whatever, but he looks like a talking head, not someone who has particular expertise on what the BLS does) who appears to be adding some number of percentage points for people who have re-entered school. I don't know where that number comes from but it appears to be somewhat arbitrary.
posted by dismas at 8:11 AM on June 17, 2015 [2 favorites]




I don't know where that number comes from but it appears to be somewhat arbitrary.

57.8% of them are arbitrary.
posted by Smedleyman at 8:19 AM on June 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


So this is basically the big broadcast network version of that twit who ran for Senate in South Carolina as a storyline for his basic cable reality show.
posted by Naberius at 8:21 AM on June 17, 2015


Now, now, you don't become that detached from reality without dedication, hard work, and grit.

On the contrary, that's one of the best ways to become that detached from reality.
posted by aught at 8:26 AM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


so back to toupee jokes!

If Trump wins, there will be hell toupee!
posted by chavenet at 8:26 AM on June 17, 2015 [9 favorites]


but milk for all
posted by the phlegmatic king at 8:28 AM on June 17, 2015 [7 favorites]


To my wife's chagrin I refer to him as 'Piss Clown', and I always will from now on.

He is actually good for two things however;

There is no way I could do as much damage to the Republican brand as this entity can and will.

He is also an indicator/flag for noise-masquerading-as-journalism - any news organization that takes him seriously forfeits credibility.

And now, back to ignoring it.
posted by The Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas at 8:33 AM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


so back to toupee jokes!

Hair today, gone tomorrow!
posted by steinwald at 8:33 AM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Mitt Romney was just as much of an egotist, but I think he was at least sincere. As wrong headed as it may have been at least he espoused something.

I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.
posted by Mons Veneris at 8:36 AM on June 17, 2015 [8 favorites]


Trump, not Bush, is the Republican hair apparent.
posted by nathan_teske at 8:37 AM on June 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


There is no way I could do as much damage to the Republican brand as this entity can and will.

I'm not so sure about that. He makes Jeb Bush's bad ideas seems rational against Trump's cartoonishly evil ideas. He's the free punching bag that everyone gets to take a swing at and position themselves to the right side of sane against.
posted by codacorolla at 8:38 AM on June 17, 2015 [5 favorites]


NPR broadcast a brief clip this morning from his announcement, and I heard... people cheering? Where did these people come from? Did he pay them?

Probably.
posted by dirigibleman at 8:41 AM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


While many of the candidates themselves may not be aware of it, I think there's a chance the Republican party is pushing so many potential candidates in order to let a more right wing candidate win the nomination with a much lower pool of delegates.
posted by drezdn at 8:49 AM on June 17, 2015


My Uncle Vinnie used to work for him. As a blackjack dealer in one of his casinos, but still.
posted by jonmc at 8:56 AM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


In other years I would have made popcorn and enjoyed the show, but having seen a most disagreeable person get elected and reelected governor in my state, in spite of all evidence indicating zero leadership skills, I'm actually worried by this.
posted by JanetLand at 8:59 AM on June 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


While many of the candidates themselves may not be aware of it, I think there's a chance the Republican party is pushing so many potential candidates in order to let a more right wing candidate win the nomination with a much lower pool of delegates.

Which will come back to fuck them in the general. Republican presidential electoral politics at this point is like watching a rat try to navigate a maze with no outlets.
posted by echocollate at 9:14 AM on June 17, 2015


A clown car is too small, they now need a clown bus.

As Slate has stated, his entry into the race will muck up the debates. As long as he can poll as one of the top ten candidates, then he'll have a slot that would normally go to an actual serious candidate that polls just a smidge below him.

As with so many things the Republican party gets up to these days, I hope they will only hurt themselves and not somehow make the country a little worse at the same time.
posted by emjaybee at 9:19 AM on June 17, 2015


This Onion article from a few years ago says it all: Trump Announces He's A Very Sad Man
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 9:24 AM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


I don’t think the GOP could do as much damage to the GOP brand as the GOP can and has done.
I don’t think the Dems could do as much damage to the Dem brand as the Dems can and have done.

The labels we used to use for packages of ideas are next to completely useless at this point. And by next to I mean actively detrimental. Oh look, I’m a conservative, that means I ride snowmobiles in grain silos and wear lederhosen. I’m a liberal, I support eyes with ketchup and ignore muffin celebrations. Do “civil libertarians” support “social justice”? I don’t f’ing know.
The only truth, and Trump’s candidacy absolutely proves it, is co-option/re-framing of any and all ideas for commercial purposes. I’d start a “smedleyman” party, but instead of free speech, equality and generally leaving folks alone it’d be about massaging grandmothers in two years.

...Ok, that’s surreal, but just for demonstration. If you can be sold what you want, you won’t want to fight for it anymore there “Bob.” And then, you’re not sold what it is in fact, you’re sold the appearance of it.

That’s what irks me, Trump & Clones (and the media following them) leech off things people care about to imbue what they’re selling with meaning (and get you to pay extra to know what you really think). Or pay for the negative. Want milk without all the crap we usually inject into it? Here’s an “organic” or “green” product that costs extra. Psst, hey buddy, here’s the “real” news (usually someone behind it all; usually the Jews). Any movement, political, economic, gender, racial, etc – that poses a threat to the status quo gets the guts torn out of it and “rebranded.”

No, see, I’d like the entire processed revamped so they don’t inject crap into it in the first place. Not have the crap sold to me as a “feature” of the system that empowers me as a choice.
Hey, want Coke or Pepsi to come out of your taps at home? Water? Like in the toilet? It’ll cost extra.

Personal politics have occluded all other forms. It’s “I’m an ‘X’, and your thing sux.” Well, I’m not an ‘X’ but I’d like to have a reasonable discourse about our ideas.

Eliminate the discourse and eventually the ideas fade and you’re left with being either Red or Blue. (You’re Smedleyman, knowing other people just waters down the experience. Live the dream buddy! For your edification, sometimes I over reference )

Historically, conquest meant force. Then it refined to economics and making the oppressed take your language and absorb your culture. Now it’s taking their culture, rebranding it and selling it.
I’d laugh that Trump is doing it to the GOP if the rain of crap didn’t land on my house too.
posted by Smedleyman at 9:26 AM on June 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


I remain firmly convinced that Trump is a Neil Gaiman American Gods-esque anthropomorphic personification of some deep inner aspect of the USA's id. His strength waxes and wanes based on the subconscious ravings of the 'Murican masses. Or possibly some kind of boggart.
posted by Wretch729 at 9:29 AM on June 17, 2015 [30 favorites]




Yeah he's a joke. But IMO he's going to move the Overton Window of "stupid conservative" far enough that the actual candidates (Bush, Walker, Rubio) will get relaxed press coverage and suddenly they will be the Very Serious candidates. "LOL at Trump"

Trump would never win, but I don't think there's a difference between what'd he'd do as prez vs. any of the other GOP candidates.
posted by jeff-o-matic at 9:34 AM on June 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


He might name more shit after himself.
posted by box at 9:37 AM on June 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


While many of the candidates themselves may not be aware of it, I think there's a chance the Republican party is pushing so many potential candidates in order to let a more right wing candidate win the nomination with a much lower pool of delegates.

Which will come back to fuck them in the general.


I hope so, and I think so, but I sadly can't be certain that the GOP's White House problem over the last couple of cycles really was that they weren't running a more batshit right-wing goober who would energize the base more than McCain or Romney did. Especially if Clinton fatigue sets in on the other side.
posted by Etrigan at 9:38 AM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


(usually someone behind it all; usually the Jews)

what.

I mean, I agreed with most of what you wrote, but. Was this like, some jokey thing I just didn't catch?
posted by zinful at 9:44 AM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Trump will win and then move into the Trump House and be the Trump of the Trump States of America (TOTSA) and sign into law the Trump Act that renames all the National Trump Parks and then he'll take a Trumpcopter to the Trump of Liberty and solve our housing problems by building Trump Towers and Trump Arcologies all over the Trumptern Seaboard.
posted by thecaddy at 10:00 AM on June 17, 2015 [7 favorites]


I totally want to see* a situation where (1) Trump wins and (2) Alan Sugar somehow becomes leader of the UK Labour Party and then British Prime Minister and the two end up destroying the special relationship by sniping at each other on Twitter about their respective TV shows.

*By which I mean I totally don't want to see ...
posted by Sonny Jim at 10:05 AM on June 17, 2015


The jokes write themselves mostly because they're just his statements in quotes.
posted by tommasz at 10:22 AM on June 17, 2015 [10 favorites]


Especially if Clinton fatigue sets in on the other side.

I'm worried that 2016 will be a repeat of 2000, with some on the left so frustrated by the center-right policies the Democrats have backed that they sit out voting or vote third party.
posted by drezdn at 10:23 AM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Bloomberg Politics: How to Tell If Donald Trump's Candidacy Is Getting Serious

One of America's leading public-opinion researchers says the real-estate mogul generates strong feelings—and has the potential to be a spoiler.
Trump’s favorability rating in our most recent Bloomberg Politics/Des Moines Register Iowa Poll is tepid. Just 27 percent feel good about him. That’s the sum of just 7 percent who are very favorable and 20 percent who are mostly favorable.

The hate shows up more prominently. His unfavorable rating more than doubles his favorability rating at 63 percent. A full one in three give the strongest negative response offered, reporting very unfavorable feelings toward him.

Could all this change? In Iowa, almost anything can happen. A couple of weeks ago, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders announced he would make a bid for the presidency. His favorability score jumped 10 points. That was achievable only because his visibility grew 10 points. People who did not know him before liked what they saw.

That cannot happen for Trump. Just 10 percent say they do not know enough about him to rate him—putting him in the league with former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee and Kentucky Senator Rand Paul. He’d have to persuade people who currently experience bad feelings about him to give him a shot. He’d need to get a lot of attention, which he is quite capable of doing. But he risks making his negative number even higher.
Spoil away!
posted by filthy light thief at 10:24 AM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


I'm worried that 2016 will be a repeat of 2000, with some on the left so frustrated by the center-right policies the Democrats have backed that they sit out voting or vote third party.

I think there's enough GOP reality at the state levels that folks on the left realize the presidency may be a key thing keeping some sense of balance in the country.
posted by filthy light thief at 10:25 AM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


John Mulaney nailed it when he said that Donald Trump is the embodiment of what a hobo imagines a rich guy must be like. “When I strike it big I’ll put my name on everything! And I’ll have a TV show where all I do is fire people!”

Like, I know he was born on third base, but he still managed to make it to home plate on his own talent. He has turned money into more money, and he has enjoyed an enormous amount of success that presumably has some sort of talent at its core. But in parallel with that, he has cultivated the public persona of an idiot, and it’s hard to reconcile those two halves existing in the same body. He’s like Michael Scott in The Office — an idiot who managed to keep his job for a long time by being an improbably good salesman.

Obviously this isn’t the first time he’s pretended to run for president. He floated the idea back in 1999, and at the time suggested a one-time wealth tax to pay off the national debt. Back then he was also a big fan of Canada’s health care system. (No, seriously. Read the article.)

Back then, I remember him proposing Oprah Winfrey as his running mate, and I was going to cite that as evidence of how much more moderate he was sixteen years ago. But now I read that he once again proposed a Trump–Winfrey ticket only yesterday. Does he realize that she likely disagrees with everything he says?

Of course he does, because he’s only pretending, I think to myself. I don’t know what his endgame is, unless it’s just bog-standard narcissism and he has a panic attack if he goes a week without being mentioned in the news. That’s the most likely answer, unsatisfying as it is.
posted by savetheclocktower at 10:26 AM on June 17, 2015 [6 favorites]


I totally want to see* a situation where (1) Trump wins and (2) Alan Sugar somehow becomes leader of the UK Labour Party and then British Prime Minister and the two end up destroying the special relationship by sniping at each other on Twitter about their respective TV shows.

On the plus side, that would mean Piers Morgan would be exiled to a small barge floating around the Atlantic.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:30 AM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Donald Trump is spectacularly good at one thing: self promotion. The only question for me is whether he plans to use his powers of self-promotion to try to become President, or whether he is using his candidacy for further self-promotion.

My money's on option 2.
posted by Mooski at 10:32 AM on June 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


NPR broadcast a brief clip this morning from his announcement, and I heard... people cheering? Where did these people come from? Did he pay them?

According to sources: some actors were hired to attend and participate in the event; and, a company called Extra Mile NYC connected Trump’s campaign/event organizers with the paid actors.
posted by uosuaq at 10:42 AM on June 17, 2015


I know he was born on third base, but he still managed to make it to home plate on his own talent.

He was born on home plate, and remains on home plate. Home plate when he was born now looks like third base today, because of inflation. And he's managed to get quite a few of his teammates out in the process.

/baseball metaphors
posted by Oxydude at 10:44 AM on June 17, 2015 [10 favorites]


He was born on home plate and managed to stay on home plate despite driving several of his teams to insolvency.
posted by drezdn at 10:47 AM on June 17, 2015 [9 favorites]


Contra Stewart, Colbert, et al., I don't find anything amusing about this vile slumlord and the cult of celebrity that coddles his ego and continues to provide a public forum for him to spout his racist inanities, some 25 years past his pop culture expiration date. (And for the love of god, everybody stop calling him The Donald. That's a nickname, and nicknames are for friends, and Donald Trump is not your friend.)
posted by Atom Eyes at 10:51 AM on June 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


Trump understands that a presidential campaign is a great way to get other people's money into his hands for essentially nothing. Surplus campaign funds which remain when his doomed bid fails (as he knows it must) can go into his leadership PAC, which then lobbies favors and influence for his buisness interests.
posted by clarknova at 11:05 AM on June 17, 2015 [5 favorites]


zinful,
Smedleyman is referencing the vast number of conspiracy loons who are closet antisemites, and how anyone who is espousing a lot of conspiracy whackery about the Illuminati or whatnot probably don't realize that most of the ethos and mythos surrounding their worldview was crafted by the nutjobs who reference this nonsense.

It has bled into mainstream media and you see a lot of references to how "the jews" run the world and blah blah blah. Basically deluded people who think that "the Truth" is based upon a long running series of anti-semetic lies. See also references to Stone Masons, lizard people, and any other reference to a One World Government.

Trump, um, hasn't said anything recently, but he, um, has a history of saying some really dumb shit.
posted by daq at 11:08 AM on June 17, 2015 [4 favorites]




Oh, and everyone forgets, but Donald Trump was one of the loudest "Birther" talking heads in the media for the past 8 years. I think he had more airtime spouting nonsense than Orly Taitz.

Oh wait, that's right, Trump was running for president 4 years ago and had the full support of Orly Taitz because of his Birther nonsense.
posted by daq at 11:14 AM on June 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


As I posted earlier in another forum:

If he can't use "Rockin' in the Free World," maybe The Donald™ can use other patriotic anthems like Springsteen's "Born in the USA" or Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Fortunate Son."

It's almost like Republicans are incapable of recognizing irony or nuance, or paying attention to anything longer than a biref soundbite. Hmm...
posted by dhens at 11:22 AM on June 17, 2015


He must know he has no hope at all of actually winning, or even of really influencing the election in any meaningful way.

I could definitely see how Trump might have a completely distorted self-conception of his chances to win. People who are as rich as Trump is can completely wall themselves off from anybody who isn't a complete yes man or sycophant. He may legitimately believe he has a chance to win the presidency, because nobody who has a chance to get near him has the guts or the independence to give him a reality check. I'm reminded of that Kevin Smith speech about how he ended up working for Prince, and one of Prince's assistants said, "Prince has been living in Prince world for a very long time." I have a feeling Trump has been living in Trump World for so long that he may think that the rules of the outside world no longer apply.
posted by jonp72 at 11:25 AM on June 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


They were, at least, in earnest and the epithets were just a method in service of the campaign in order to put an agenda, policies, actual ideals, into place in government.

That may be a bit rosy-colored. Ours isn't the first century to believe that to the victor should go the spoils.

TRUMP 2016: MAYBE IT'S TIME WE RECONSIDER COMMUNISM

Mmm. Chicken and Trumplings.
posted by octobersurprise at 11:32 AM on June 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


Trump or Monkey?
posted by Joey Michaels at 11:36 AM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Weird thing. His mother is from the Outer Hebrides, an archipelago off the west coast of Scotland. Occasionally, he will erm breeze in there (Telegraph).

An ex-councillor there blogged about Trump's periodic and conditional love/fascination of Scotland/golf/dodgy finances/circumventing planning laws; enjoy...
posted by Wordshore at 11:38 AM on June 17, 2015


And once again, he's says that he wants Oprah for his VP..... leaving aside my personal opinion that for different reasons neither The Donald nor Oprah is a desirable candidate for office, I wonder what Oprah thinks of Trump flinging her name around like this? I mean, I don't want to vote for her, but at least she's never come across as the complete wacko Trump appears to be.
posted by easily confused at 11:41 AM on June 17, 2015




He adds some much-needed seriousness that has previously been lacking from the G.O.P. field, and we look forward hearing more about his ideas for the nation.



shaaaaaaaaade
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:56 AM on June 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


>Mmm. Chicken and Trumplings.

A Potrumpkin Village?
posted by boo_radley at 12:00 PM on June 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


Hell, I can make a website! You want a website? I can make you a website, believe me. There are ways. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you a website by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with flash.

Just to warn you guys, I gave Mrs. Pterodactyl 3 dollars cash this morning & she said I'd have to wait here and she'd be back with my website in half an hour, but she hasn't come back, yet.
posted by Devils Rancher at 12:00 PM on June 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


He was born on home plate and managed to stay on home plate despite driving several of his teams to insolvency.

Yeah, Trump's actually a pretty bad businessman, far as I know. He's good at selling himself, and he might have some aptitude for sales generally or some other useful business skill. I don't know, really. But he's declared bankruptcy, what - twice? He's a shit executive.
posted by breakin' the law at 12:19 PM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Looks like Trevor Noah will be taking over the Daily Show and starting out on Easy mode.
posted by ridogi at 12:35 PM on June 17, 2015


Looks like Trevor Noah will be taking over the Daily Show and starting out on Easy mode.

I got a buck that says Trump isn't still in the race come September 28th.
posted by Etrigan at 12:45 PM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


But he's declared bankruptcy, what - twice?

Actually, Trump corporations have file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy four times -- 1991, 1992, 2004 and 2009. Rather than bragging about his net worth, perhaps someone should ask him about the hundreds of millions he has stiffed his creditors. Trump said "Basically I’ve used the laws of the country to my advantage."
posted by JackFlash at 12:52 PM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Trump is all that the comments suggest, and yet he knows what many wealthy people know: he can run for anything he wants to because he has the money it takes. Our left of center liberals support Bernie, knowing Liz is not interested in running, but the Dems will appoint Hillary, who, has not the guts to say she is for or against the trade deal. So she tells us it is a process etc and she must wait to see more about it when most folks who follow the issue know that we are not going to know anything about it till it is a done deal.

The media was outraged because of what Trump said about Mexicans, but if the illegals now hee are "good" illegals, who then in the GOP supports a path for them to citizenship? Much easier to say Trump has said a not nice thing than it is to ask what is to be done about immigration.
posted by Postroad at 12:54 PM on June 17, 2015


If I could ask a rich guy like Trump one thing it would be "Donald, when you visit your money do you Donald Duck it like Scrooge McDuck?"
posted by octobersurprise at 12:54 PM on June 17, 2015


Does he still call himself "The Donald," or did he drop that? Because if he stopped, then we've moved into "never let him live it down" territory, and we're obligated to bandy it about as much as possible.
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:04 PM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


I forget what the name of this journalistic device is, where the writer begins a sentence with a concise introduction of a subject ("Wikileaks founder Julian Assange..." or "Socialite Paris Hilton..."). There's a bit of an art to it, especially if someone has gained notoriety in more than one field: is it "Microsoft founder Bill Gates" or "Philanthropist Bill Gates"? (Depends on the context of the story, of course). Generally you want to get it as short as possible: remind us who the person is in a word or three, and on the off-chance the name isn't instantly recognizable, this orients us and reminds us why we should care.

Coverage of Donald Trump inspires the absolute apex of this form. Behold, the list of Donald Trump invective!

I've re-read this thing several times over the years and I never fail to laugh at the brutal insight in Jim Newell's introduction, "Gelatinous cartoon slumlord Donald Trump..." from Gawker.

A very close second is Gail Collins' diss: "Financially embattled thousandaire Donald Trump..."

Jon Stewart: "Reality show host and antique doll hair thief Donald Trump..."

And finally, the genre's ur-text: "Short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump..." from Spy Magazine, 27 ago.

Slighting Donald Trump is a proud tradition in the ranks of ink-stained wretches, and I genuinely look forward to this election cycle's bumper crop of thrown shade. (Also, someone remind me what this is called, there is a proper name for it, I swear).
posted by andromache at 1:14 PM on June 17, 2015 [21 favorites]


God and "Oft-bankrupt make-believe mogul clown with a tv show" is also pretty great
posted by andromache at 1:19 PM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Only man in history to go bankrupt running a casino, Donald Trump.
posted by ocschwar at 1:22 PM on June 17, 2015 [5 favorites]


Does he still call himself "The Donald," or did he drop that? Because if he stopped, then we've moved into "never let him live it down" territory, and we're obligated to bandy it about as much as possible.

I don't think he called himself that so much as his ex-wife Ivana did.
posted by Mooski at 1:22 PM on June 17, 2015


I don't think he called himself that so much as his ex-wife Ivana did.

Even better.
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:30 PM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Also, someone remind me what this is called

An epithet? ("rosy-fingered dawn" vs. "thick-fingered vulgarian")
posted by octobersurprise at 1:34 PM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


...but the Dems will appoint Hillary, who, has not the guts to say she is for or against the trade deal.

Don't mistake tactics for a lack of guts. We are all going to learn the hard way Hillary has more than enough guts to support unpopular trade deals. When she's in power.
posted by clarknova at 1:48 PM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Actually, Trump corporations have file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy four times -- 1991, 1992, 2004 and 2009. Rather than bragging about his net worth, perhaps someone should ask him about the hundreds of millions he has stiffed his creditors. Trump said "Basically I’ve used the laws of the country to my advantage."

Ugh. I often come back to the notion that I'm not RICH! because I'm not willing to do what the RICH! are willing to do to be successful.

THANK GOD!!!!
posted by hal_c_on at 1:52 PM on June 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


Donald Trump is a wacky asshole, and his campaign is being greeted with the mockery is richly deserves.

Jeb, that's another story. It is a national embarrassment that yet another one of those Bush crapsacks has even gotten this far. He is no less ridiculous than Trump, and a lot more dangerous.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 2:16 PM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Trump remained rich (if not richer) after his corporations went broke 4 times, so he's not the kind of rich guy to spend his own money on a candidate, he'll be the candidate, get other rich people to give him money and quit the race having increased his net worth for running. But he will have to quit well before his "Celebrity Apprentice" show begins a new season in January, because Comcast/NBC does not want to be seen as officially supporting him (It's obviously a Scott Walker-leaning corporation). But if he does lose that gig, NBC should replace him with John Hodgman, Deranged Millionaire. Perfect casting. But what would be even better idea is to have a one-on-one debate between Trump and Hodgman. That said, the GOP should drop the pretense and just make the Presidential Nomination process a Reality Show. A perfect comeback gig for Brian Williams.

The Colbert video is good news that he will not avoid making fun of those who deeply deserve it after retiring the "Stephen Colbert character".

And let's not belittle The Jeb too much - he and Trump are probably the two GOP candidates that Hillary could most easily defeat. But to me, the perfect Presidential matchup would be Bernie Sanders vs. Randy Paul. The Socialist Vs. The Libertarian. At some point in the debate, they will find something to agree on (probably legalizing marijuana) and America's head will explode (something we genuinely need).
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:33 PM on June 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


I mean, I agreed with most of what you wrote, but. Was this like, some jokey thing I just didn't catch?
Well, yeah.

The jokes write themselves mostly because they're just his statements in quotes
Well, yeah.

typically “real” news is political slant/fantatic/crackpot thinking which typically aims at some group, ethnicity, religion, etc. Jews are perennial targets. (so, yeah, what daq sed)

Don't mistake tactics for a lack of guts.

You know who else…uh... never mind

I expect a Bush/Walker v. Clinton/Someguyinasuit campaign
(probably Julian Castro)

But I’d like a Trump/Palin v. Sanders/Friedman campaign pony.
There's nothing cool about a close race. In football (both kinds) a close game is cool. In politics (and war) I want a blowout. A trounce. A curbstomp.
...of course people would probably vote Trump/Palin in solid numbers. But those same people would vote ZombieHitler/Ming by reflex, so... I dunno. Maybe it's a good thing.

People by me, people who talk contrails and Kenya, are getting the whole "WTF is this a joke" face looking at the political coverage. And I'm taking next to no flack for supporting Sanders on that basis. Some are guys I shoot with. Probably because of douchebags like Trump.
posted by Smedleyman at 2:51 PM on June 17, 2015


The Decline of the American Trumpire
posted by chavenet at 3:14 PM on June 17, 2015


President Donald Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho Trump
posted by Hoopo at 3:26 PM on June 17, 2015 [5 favorites]


There was a WAPO blog yesterday that claimed to map tweets to ideology. Trump is close to the mainstream. (They also have WAPO very close to the center.)

LInk
posted by bukvich at 4:35 PM on June 17, 2015


Go ahead. Bad mouth the donald. But the truth of the matter is he is the funniest and most entertaining of all the candidates.
posted by notreally at 4:47 PM on June 17, 2015


It turns out the "supporters" at Trump's launch were actors paid $50 for less than 3 hours' work.
posted by John Shaft at 4:59 PM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Could North Korea be bankrolling Trump's presidential bid? Anything is possible.
posted by Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon at 5:58 PM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


It turns out the "supporters" at Trump's launch were actors paid $50 for less than 3 hours' work.

He's a job creator!
posted by Daily Alice at 6:51 PM on June 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


For ankly, what I'm interested in is how Pope Frankie's environment edict is going to play out, especially with the GOP, during this race. I know they don't want him to venture down this path, but how vocal will they be against a Christian relgious leader... Will be interesting.
posted by edgeways at 7:04 PM on June 17, 2015


sorry about the first bit there.. mobile device and quick typing to blame
posted by edgeways at 7:46 PM on June 17, 2015


what I'm interested in is how Pope Frankie's environment edict is going to play out, especially with the GOP, during this race.

Well, Fox News' Greg Gutfield called Pope Francis "the most dangerous man alive" and Michael Savage said Pope Francis was the Antichrist, so my hunch is that they're going to be not nice about it
posted by mightygodking at 8:03 PM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Trump is a loud, bullying asshole. He's beyond crass. But plenty of pathetic underpaid people will listen to him bragging about his money, and he moves the discourse further towards assholery. When a rich guy says a thing, there are people who listen. So, yeah, I'll enjoy the GOP looking stoopider, but it's hollow. How the fuck are we going to survive 16 more month sof this craziness?
posted by theora55 at 8:20 PM on June 17, 2015


what I'm interested in is how Pope Frankie's environment edict is going to play out, especially with the GOP, during this race.

All of the Catholic candidates (Santorum, Bush, Rubio?, Jindal) and supreme court justices (excepting Justice Sotomayor) are way more conservative than Pope Francis. They have Southern Baptists values but like more latin in their service. "I'm not a scientist, neither is he," goes a long way.
posted by peeedro at 8:40 PM on June 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


See also Ronald Reagan.

Sing or Swim, I lived in America under Ronald Reagan. I hated Ronald Reagan. Ronald Reagan was a loathsome symbol of all that is wrong with America of mine. Sing or Swim, Donald Trump is no Ronald Reagan.
posted by gompa at 8:40 PM on June 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


But the truth of the matter is he is the funniest and most entertaining of all the candidates.

I don't fucking want "entertaining" candidates, I want COMPETENT ONES.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:48 AM on June 18, 2015 [2 favorites]


EmpressCallipygos: I still am seeing this as an "I'm getting popcorn now" moment

I have a friend who can half way convince me most days that Donald Trump is an agent provocateur in the employ of the the DNC (or a fellow-traveler thereof).
posted by lodurr at 4:48 AM on June 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


The funny thing is, Trump can't actually be much worse than any of the other candidates. Hilary? Bernie Sanders? Ted Cruz? Marco Rubio? Given this slate ... why not Donald Trump?

Maybe it's time for a wild card, to shake things up a little bit.
posted by theorique at 5:05 AM on June 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


andromache: And finally, the genre's ur-text: "Short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump..." from Spy Magazine, 27 ago.

Oh, dear, I'd forgotten about that one. Wasn't that someone's standard epithet for Fiorello LaGuardia, back in the day? Trump seems to have sucked up all the G-Juice on it at present...
posted by lodurr at 5:05 AM on June 18, 2015


The funny thing is, Trump can't actually be much worse than any of the other candidates. Hilary? Bernie Sanders? Ted Cruz? Marco Rubio? Given this slate ... why not Donald Trump?

Maybe it's time for a wild card, to shake things up a little bit.


So, how did thinking everyone's the same work out last time in 2000?
posted by ersatz at 6:16 AM on June 18, 2015 [2 favorites]


The funny thing is, Trump can't actually be much worse than any of the other candidates. Hilary? Bernie Sanders? Ted Cruz? Marco Rubio?

Just out of curiosity, whom would you consider a "good" candidate in a field that currently includes a former Secretary of State, six former Governors (including the Governors of the second, third, and fourth most populous states), and five sitting U.S. Senators? Which grand statesman of our times are you waiting for with bated breath?
posted by Etrigan at 7:26 AM on June 18, 2015 [3 favorites]


heh. etrigan, that's a good question, and it ought to be more obvious. unfortunately, the field of statesvolk you reference does include an awful lot of clowns.

mind you, none would be a dangerously embarrassing and destabilizing as Trump, not even Cruz, and not by a very, very long shot. which I assume is at least partly your point. Like I said, that ought to be more obvious than it will be for most people. But the political landscape makes so little sense right now that a question like 'why not Trump?' just doesn't sound as bizarre as it ought to.
posted by lodurr at 7:43 AM on June 18, 2015


Which grand statesman of our times are you waiting for with bated breath?

Is it Al Gore?
posted by box at 7:53 AM on June 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


It turns out the "supporters" at Trump's launch were actors paid $50 for less than 3 hours' work.

Glad to see he's an early adopter of LA's new minimum wage increase. And it isn't even 2020, yet!
posted by hal_c_on at 9:28 PM on June 19, 2015


Maybe it's time for a wild card, to shake things up a little bit.

We tried that in Mn with Jesse Ventura... was ok on most social issues but an absolute clusterfuck irt fiscal concerns. The State is finally recovering, but it took a few rounds of Tim the mosquito Pawlenty digging us further in and then an economical hard reset followed by a DFL gov.
posted by edgeways at 5:43 PM on June 20, 2015 [2 favorites]


While many of the candidates themselves may not be aware of it, I think there's a chance the Republican party is pushing so many potential candidates in order to let a more right wing candidate win the nomination with a much lower pool of delegates.


You give the republicans too much credit. They do NOT want this many candidates. Trump, and about 75% of the field know they have a snowballs chance in hell of even coming close to winning the nomination. They are here because they saw what 2008 did for Mike Huckabee's personal brand and how he parlayed that into lucrative TV and Radio deals to spout his inbred, fasciochristian ideas, and they want to get theirs.
posted by prodigalsun at 7:56 PM on June 22, 2015


Trump, and about 75% of the field know they have a snowballs chance in hell of even coming close to winning the nomination.

Trump, yes. But bear in mind that the sitting President started his campaign against a senior Senator with the support of the entire Democratic Party. He had one good speech and one electoral victory -- against Alan Keyes -- to his credit.

Every Republican in the field is absolutely convinced that the country is clamoring for a Republican in the White House, and all they need to do is energize 3 percent of the American people to get them the nomination, and then they will crush Hillary Clinton without breaking a sweat. You can get 3 percent of Americans to do any damn fool thing.
posted by Etrigan at 5:49 AM on June 23, 2015


It looks like Trump's schtick might be starting to backfire. NBC is supposedly looking at producing Celebrity Apprentice without him and they're making noises about changing Apprentice. Without the tv shows to provide hype I'd imagine the value of his brand would decline.
posted by rdr at 12:26 PM on June 29, 2015


Esquire Magazine has updated their article about Trump getting fired with the "response" from the Trump office. Basically, "You can't fire me because I quit!" Doesn't have footage of him stomping out, hair flopping about, though. :(

Funny how NBC didn't have as big of a problem with Trump's antics when he was raking in dough...
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 12:41 PM on June 29, 2015


It would be hilarious if running for president deflated the Trump empire, as it were
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 2:00 PM on June 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


stay tuned for Elon Musk's Celebrity Unpaid Intern
posted by griphus at 2:28 PM on June 29, 2015


Empress Callipygos mentioned Trump's racist remarks about Latino immigrants; those are playing out in an amusing way in Chicago, where a local brewer 5 Rabbit was contracted to brew a special beer for Trump Tower.
5 Rabbit Cerveceria founder, Andres Araya — who was born in Costa Rica, lived in both Mexico and the US where he studied at Purdue and Cornell Universities, and ultimately opened the first latin-inspired brewery in the US — also felt that the right thing to do was sever all ties to Trump and Trump's properties.

"We would be doing an injustice to the community we serve (and live in) by engaging in business with someone who does not accept our role in society and expresses a rhetoric of hate and ignorance towards us. On a personal level, if I did, one of the things that scares me the most is sending the wrong message to my daughters. We are active members of this immigrant community and we need to stand up for ourselves, and more importantly, for those who do not have the voice or means to do so. The very foundation of the United States of America was built on acceptance and inclusion. That is what drew us here, and that´s what why we feel so strongly about this. As a company, an integral part of our vision reads that we are “not only based in, but also look to promote a strong and positive image of Latin America, its heritage and people." It would be hypocritical of us to sustain the relationship."
They're renaming the beer "Chinga tu Pelo," or "Fuck your Hair," and will be serving it at local bars.
posted by Juliet Banana at 4:59 PM on July 1, 2015 [8 favorites]




Oh my god you guys:

"Delusional Cheese Creature Donald Trump"
posted by andromache at 5:31 AM on July 9, 2015


My biggest concern at this point, considering that Trump is polling pretty well, is that Trump will drop out and anoint a candidate.
posted by drezdn at 5:37 AM on July 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


I had some Chinga tu Pelo the other day at Longman&Eagle OSB. They had it displayed on their specials board as TRUMP with a big red circle and cross through it. It was delicious.
posted by Juliet Banana at 7:37 AM on July 9, 2015


It's not like Trump is substantially different than the rest of the pack, he's just too dumb to know how to talk in dog whistles. He just blurts out the same crap that Jeb! or Walker know to how to phrase with some deniability.
posted by octothorpe at 7:41 AM on July 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


The WaPo article about Preibus and Trump ends with a non-anonymous quotation from Matt Borges, chairman of the Ohio Republican Party:

“One thing I’m certain of is Donald Trump is not going to be our nominee.”
posted by box at 11:51 AM on July 9, 2015


My biggest concern at this point ... is that Trump will drop out and anoint a candidate.

It's highly unlikely—I'd say impossible, but this is politics—that Trump will ever anoint anything but his own forehead. I don't think Trump even wants to be President; it's too much like hard work. (Tho maybe he really thinks he can swoop in and buy the US like a failing company and sell it off for parts.) If Newt Gingrich is the stupid man's idea of a smart one, then apparently Donald Trump wants to be the poor man's idea of a rich one. And to that end he seems prepared to do or say anything that gets that idea across, however outrageous or nonsensical or self-defeating it may be.

Why he wants this baffles me. Maybe his ego is really that big. Maybe he thinks everyone else is really that dumb. Maybe he's kept up the Gordon Gekko act so long that he actually believes it. (Reflect on the preposterous sight of Mitt Romney trying to sound like a regular guy and Donald Trump trying to sound like a rich one.) Whatever the reason for this behavior, by itself it suggests that Trump either doesn't have or isn't interested in using the people skills/organizational skills needed to unite a party around him.

(What I am fascinated by is how FOX has turned the pre-primary race into a reality TV show simply by making over a dozen candidates fight for 10 slots. Now there's a contest Trump definitely knows how to play.)
posted by octobersurprise at 1:12 PM on July 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


It occurred to me that if history is any guide, Trump will eventually give up on his jostling for the very apex of the pyramid and instead use his money to raise a private army to invade Parthia. And then, sadly, die at the front of that army somewhere on the Iranian plateau.

He's just crassus enough to do it.
posted by the phlegmatic king at 11:59 AM on July 10, 2015 [3 favorites]


Trump to the Future
posted by Sys Rq at 7:55 PM on July 10, 2015 [1 favorite]


octobersurprise: If Newt Gingrich is the stupid man's idea of a smart one, then apparently Donald Trump wants to be the poor man's idea of a rich one.

Fair warning that I will be stealing this.

(Really, it is the perfect, apt description. Trump reminds me so much of your typical local/regional medium-time Real Estate Mogul-wannabe, that it's just pathetic. He's like that guy who parks his Caddy and comes in to the diner in a $500 suit and tips the waitress 25% and talks loud about all the deals he's got going and what losers all the local politicians are and how he could fix it all if the morons would just listen to him.

Probably a lot of us have seen this guy. Or worked for him. Or served him food or drinks.

Strictly small-time, but thinks he's The Man.

That's Trump. The only difference is Trump was born on the home-base path about a foot short of the plate.
posted by lodurr at 7:27 AM on July 11, 2015


Damn, damn, double damn with a side of damn! Hillaryyyyyy!
posted by Going To Maine at 7:47 AM on July 11, 2015


One of the definitions of Trump in the Oxford English Dictionary:

To give forth a trumpet-like sound; spec. to break wind audibly (slang or vulgar).

Common when I was growing up in the UK as a politer sysnonym for fart... pity it's not more wildly known
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 8:26 AM on July 11, 2015




Is it me or does that link about Trump's devastating Tweet about Bush never actually quote the Tweet in question?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:43 PM on July 11, 2015


It's shitty coding. Click on the headline and scroll down sloooowly.
posted by Etrigan at 1:49 PM on July 11, 2015


Oh man. I watched some of the rally in Phoenix today. This is going to be a fun ride. I think he could actually win. He will appeal to a wider audience than the standard GOP racism now hitting a dead end. Talking about "repealing and replacing" ACA," he actually said the replacement needs to take care of everybody and criticized ACA for not covering everyone!

It's weird. Trump's speaking style sounds a bit like Christopher Walken to me, for some reason.
posted by Golden Eternity at 7:52 PM on July 11, 2015


Trump's speaking style sounds a bit like Christopher Walken to me, for some reason.

They both have Queens accents (NYC borough for those not familiar) with an underlying influence of Scots / German born parents, maybe that's it? (Both have mothers born in Scotland and strong German influence on their fathers' sides.)
posted by aught at 5:29 AM on July 13, 2015 [1 favorite]


Does anybody know how much it set him back to hire the big crowd in PHX?
posted by lodurr at 11:28 AM on July 13, 2015


Donald Trump: A False Flag Candidate? (Justin Raimondo Antiwar.com)
posted by bukvich at 11:36 AM on July 13, 2015


heh. an old friend has been saying for years that he thinks Trump is an agent-provocateur trying to undermine the GOP from within.

lately he's been saying that whatever the original reality, Trump is now clearly just garden-variety insane.
posted by lodurr at 1:16 PM on July 13, 2015 [1 favorite]


Trump's speaking style sounds a bit like Christopher Walken to me, for some reason.

There is a yuge similarity, yes.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:48 PM on July 13, 2015 [1 favorite]


"Donald Trump is No Conservative" (The Atlantic)
posted by box at 2:06 PM on July 13, 2015


an old friend has been saying for years that he thinks Trump is an agent-provocateur trying to undermine the GOP from within.

If he were, he'd be spending money on the crazies, not trying to take all the media attention away from them. And looking at the long sweep of Trump's career, if he's pulling a con predicated on his public persona of a blowhard moron, it's a very long con.
posted by Etrigan at 2:08 PM on July 13, 2015


“His announcement speech was like Finnegan's Wake as reimagined by an unlettered person with a short attention span.”

I don't know that I agree with this, but it's a stupendous burn.
posted by Going To Maine at 3:18 PM on July 13, 2015 [2 favorites]


I tried to watch the freedom fest speech to fact check Raimondo. It is here. The stupidity completely overwhelmed my best intentions before six minutes had passed. Christ what an imbecile. I find it very difficult to believe Raimondo sat down and watched the entire thing.
posted by bukvich at 3:33 PM on July 13, 2015


If he were, he'd be spending money on the crazies...

In my friend's defense he has also said recently that he might have sold that idea a bit too hard.
posted by lodurr at 4:08 AM on July 14, 2015


The Atlantic: Donald Trump Is No Conservative
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 7:05 AM on July 14, 2015


The Atlantic again: Trump Nation Speaks
posted by box at 7:23 AM on July 14, 2015 [1 favorite]


Friedersdorf is only partially right, though. Trump is the 27% candidate, except that the 27% of 2005 is more like the 47% (and not the kind Romney talks about) of 2015. He represents the current trajectory of conservatism in the US: proudly anti-intellectual, openly racist and xenophobic, dangerously violent towards domestic and international opponents, and a paranoid delusional. Sure, you could say that about most of the GOP candidates, but it's basically him and Cruz that celebrate it in open defiance of the rest of the party. But that's what modern conservatism is morphing into. It's why Jade Helm nutbaggery, which would barely have made waves in mainstream conservative circles a decade ago, now has the support of several high-ranking conservative officials, including the governor of the second most populous state in the country. It's why 47 morons from the highest legislative body in the land signed onto an incoherent, factually incorrect, and morally reprehensible letter about Iran from one of the few US Senators that probably qualifies as certifiably crazy, and who is definitely racist as fuck. It's why Congress can't even talk about funding national parks without entire bills being pulled from the floor because defending the Confederate flag is seen as a moral imperative. So people like the ones Friedersdorf quotes in his article can complain about Trump as a conservative and as a candidate, but that's only because he's a buffoonish avatar with no internal censor. What he says will end up on the GOP platform at the convention, if only dressed up in nicer language.
posted by zombieflanders at 7:38 AM on July 14, 2015 [2 favorites]


Apparently the Trump campaign put Waffen-SS troops in this campaign ad by mistake.
posted by Golden Eternity at 11:42 AM on July 14, 2015 [2 favorites]


they deleted the original tweet. Here it is.
posted by Golden Eternity at 12:09 PM on July 14, 2015 [1 favorite]




is that thing supposed to look exceptionally painful?
posted by lodurr at 12:25 PM on July 14, 2015


Apparently the Trump campaign put Waffen-SS troops in this campaign ad by mistake.

Shades of Saint Reagan laying a wreath on the headstones of SS soldiers, or steganography for a new American facism.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 12:32 PM on July 14, 2015 [1 favorite]


Apparently this is the original photo.
posted by Golden Eternity at 12:48 PM on July 14, 2015


whenever i see something like that I suspect subterfuge. Or maybe a way of non-resigning an account you're embarrassed to have.
posted by lodurr at 1:30 PM on July 14, 2015 [1 favorite]


I guess they are saying the picture was pulled by an intern accidentally.

After Mexican Drug Lord "El Chapo" Fired Back at Donald Trump, Trump Called the FBI
"Keep fucking around and I'm going to make sure you eat your fucking words, you fucking white piece of shit," the message roughly reads in Spanish.
posted by Golden Eternity at 7:42 PM on July 14, 2015 [2 favorites]


There is a part of me that really, really wants to believe that Trump's candidacy is the reason El Chapo escaped jail, and that his whole plan is to sneak up here to New York, dopeslap Trump, and then turn right around and go back to jail.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:55 PM on July 14, 2015 [2 favorites]


I don't see a single mention of Perot in this thread. Is this what the race was like in 1992?
posted by Apocryphon at 8:20 PM on July 14, 2015


I don't see a single mention of Perot in this thread. Is this what the race was like in 1992?

No. I volunteered for Perot in 1992. Looking back, he was weird, but... well, he was the entire clown show. Trump is one of, what, 48 or so candidates ? He's gotta hustle to stand out. Perot never had that challenge to face.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 9:09 PM on July 14, 2015 [1 favorite]


Apparently the Trump campaign put Waffen-SS troops in this campaign ad by mistake.

Well he only pays three dollars for web stuff
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 10:48 PM on July 14, 2015 [1 favorite]


Perot's campaign was based on his ideas, such as they were, not on open hate-mongering and self-aggrandizement. Plus, it was fun to do impressions of Dana Carvey's impression Perot. "Now see here... The American people... They're not going to fall for that 'giant sucking sound.'" He was like a Texan Shatner, sorta. And he was right about NAFTA.

His 50-state balloting strategy and buying chunks of time on TV for infomercials are more in the Ron Paul mode than the Trump mode. And it looks like he's still alive? I had no idea.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 12:18 AM on July 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


Bo Gritz.
posted by box at 5:05 AM on July 15, 2015


Looking back, [Perot] was weird, but... well, he was the entire clown show.

Ross Perot would have been a disaster as a president, but by current standards he was virtually an intellectual. And he did pretty much try to keep things straight and honorable. Back then, we just had no idea how much clown the clown show could bear. By comparison with today's clowns, he's pretty much a straight man.

Or, what fifteen schnitzengruben said: he was actually interested in ideas and did seem to sincerely care about the country.

Plus, he was actually a pretty clever businessman. I'm a huge critic of the CEO cult, but the legitimately-personality-driven successes of people like Ross Perot are part of the reason it exists. His companies were successful as extensions of his personality and sales philosophy (and had commensurate weaknesses). He did actually know how to run a business reasonably well. He was wrong about how to apply that to government, but he wasn't lying to us about what he could do in his own domain.

The comparison with Trump basically stops at 'rich & colorful white guy with an ego.'

Or to put it in a way that I've become fond of lately: I could have an argument with Ross Perot. That's a big deal. A guy like Trump doesn't actually even understand the concept of 'argument.'
posted by lodurr at 5:30 AM on July 15, 2015 [4 favorites]


I did not think he would do it .

Fire up the calliope, folks - this clown car is going into overdrive.
posted by NoxAeternum at 2:09 PM on July 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


this clown car is going into overdrive.

WITNESS ME!
posted by nubs at 2:15 PM on July 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


Is it actually $10 Billion? My impression was that Trump is a serial exaggerator. If the FEC investigates following the submission of the form, I anticipate hilarity.
posted by Going To Maine at 2:20 PM on July 15, 2015


Am I the only one who is reminded of Tom Cruise going insane and jumping on Oprah's couch at this point? "I HAVE TEN BILLION DOLLARS" isn't all that far removed from "I KNOW HOW PSYCHIATRY WORKS."

A journalist who's covered Trump for years (and what a job that must be) has 21 questions for him.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 4:19 PM on July 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


Man. These 21 questions are making me so much angrier about Donald Trump than I had been. I can't believe that he's managed to escape so much of this garbage to just be thought of as an oafish buffoon.
posted by Going To Maine at 4:45 PM on July 15, 2015


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