Only cats can handle this much bling
July 16, 2015 5:13 PM   Subscribe

Twinkle Tush is a jewel you hang from your cat’s tail. Add some bling to your cat’s bum and watch them strut their stuff. Your cat secretly wants it.
posted by Stewriffic (58 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite
 
buttplug???
posted by yueliang at 5:14 PM on July 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


(All the wording in the post is ripped directly from the website, because I am feeling lazy and uncreative, and, well, their copy is hilarious)
posted by Stewriffic at 5:15 PM on July 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


If only. I cower in fear each time my cat cats his wrinkly eye of Sauron upon me. I dream of the one butt jewel to rule them all.
posted by batbat at 5:17 PM on July 16, 2015 [9 favorites]


Finally, bling a cat burglar wants and needs.
posted by clavdivs at 5:17 PM on July 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


what

no

my cat needs you to know that her bum can be put on things, not covered up by them
posted by Kitteh at 5:17 PM on July 16, 2015 [11 favorites]


And then the cat uses the litterbox and gets cat shit all over the nice sparkly thing.
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:23 PM on July 16, 2015 [35 favorites]


NOPE
posted by Going To Maine at 5:24 PM on July 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


My cat is so fluffy you can't see his butt. It's just a solid wall of floof back there from tail to knees. I have no idea how they found his bits to neuter him. I'm not sure how that's all going to work out when he's old and hygiene-challenged; I'll probably have to get him shaved or something. Maybe then he'll want decorations. Like a butt toupee or something.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:25 PM on July 16, 2015 [9 favorites]


seems....like a.........bad?..... idea?
posted by amtho at 5:27 PM on July 16, 2015 [3 favorites]


If you're seeing catbutt so much that this seems like a good product your cat isn't fluffy enough.
posted by Mizu at 5:29 PM on July 16, 2015 [3 favorites]


they make these for people too. here. kinda SFW
posted by bobdow at 5:34 PM on July 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


TwinkleTush is one of the strangest sites I've seen in some time. I have no idea how these people bedazzled their cats ass, or why.
posted by nathan_teske at 5:35 PM on July 16, 2015 [29 favorites]


A) My cats would rip my arms off if I tried to put one of those on them. B) They would then devote themselves to getting that thing off their butts ASAP. C) How are they supposed to poo with those things on? It would get all filthy, for one thing, and I can imagine that some cats would be so freaked out by this... thing... interfering that they would have difficulty using the litterbox at all.
posted by sarcasticah at 5:44 PM on July 16, 2015 [3 favorites]


Stop telling me to bedazzle my pussy, it's not going to happen, stop trying to make it happen.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 5:53 PM on July 16, 2015 [54 favorites]


Read all the way to the... erm... bottom.
posted by Etrigan at 6:03 PM on July 16, 2015 [3 favorites]


(FINALLY, Etrigan, thank you!)
posted by Stewriffic at 6:05 PM on July 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


they make these for people too. here. kinda SFW

For if you want to engage in anablingus?
posted by en forme de poire at 6:08 PM on July 16, 2015 [12 favorites]


This is just to say

I have bedazzled
the cat's
nether regions

Per the instructions of
the marketers
writing the website

Forgive me
It was so sparkly
and so fuzzy
posted by Lycaste at 6:10 PM on July 16, 2015 [37 favorites]


Have you ever thrown a respectable cocktail party at your home only to have your feline family member come out and proudly display their uncovered rear?

What???? No!? WTF!?!?!?!

I'm going to need more cocktails to process this.
posted by Artw at 6:18 PM on July 16, 2015 [2 favorites]




I want to see these added to nekoatsume.
posted by capricorn at 6:23 PM on July 16, 2015 [18 favorites]


Twinkletush.com is one of the strangest web sites I've seen in a long time. I have no idea how the people got the jewels wedged into their cats, or why.
posted by ActionPopulated at 6:23 PM on July 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


NO AND QUIT IT
posted by Space Kitty at 6:28 PM on July 16, 2015 [3 favorites]


Look, if you want to mock your cat, do what I did and get him a summer lion cut.
posted by emjaybee at 6:31 PM on July 16, 2015 [13 favorites]


Old, but related Fark thread, possibly the best ever Fark thread.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 6:31 PM on July 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


love the idea for a butt toupee variation, then you can #TrumpYourCat'sButt
posted by ghostbikes at 6:33 PM on July 16, 2015 [4 favorites]


Our cat is so proud of his butt that he feels its already a jewel he needs to share with everyone.
posted by Joey Michaels at 6:41 PM on July 16, 2015 [18 favorites]


they make these for people too. here. kinda SFW

Eew. Isn't dressing up like your pet kinda tacky?
posted by sebastienbailard at 6:46 PM on July 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


And when the Lamb opened the eighth seal, there was the sound of meowing,
And there was a great hissing,
And the felines of the earth did claw and bite,
And there were jewels upon their buttholes,
Jesus wept.
posted by Splunge at 6:47 PM on July 16, 2015 [14 favorites]


My cats and I have to have the JESUS CHRIST NO DON'T PUT THAT THING IN MY FACE I HEARD YOU IN THE LITTERBOX I KNOW WHERE IT'S BEEN talk hourly.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 7:32 PM on July 16, 2015 [6 favorites]


Whoops, didn't read and realize someone got to the cat scan reference before me. Please accept this photo of my trumped cat as an apology. (As weirdly fitting as it would be for a kitty named Oscar Wildecat to get a butt jewel, he will never sit still long enough to make that happen.)
posted by ActionPopulated at 7:48 PM on July 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


I want to see these added to nekoatsume.

But their little cartoon butts are the best part!
posted by fozzie_bear at 8:02 PM on July 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


If this would actually do something to solve the problem of waking up with cat butt *right in my fucking face* I would pay literally dollars for it.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:18 PM on July 16, 2015


Look, if you want to mock your cat, do what I did and get him a summer lion cut.

!?

Did this involve general anesthesia?
posted by indubitable at 8:19 PM on July 16, 2015


Knowing my cat, he would wear this for a few minutes and I would then find it at the bottom of my glass.
After I'd been drinking from it.
posted by arcticseal at 8:23 PM on July 16, 2015 [14 favorites]


Today I learned that some people rhyme tush with rush instead of with bush. The things cat's assholes can teach you...
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:26 PM on July 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


SO THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SPECIAL EDITION "FROZEN" LOCKET
posted by Spatch at 8:29 PM on July 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


The true test of any worthwhile civilization is the point at which it achieves the apogee of bejeweling the assholes its cats.
posted by islander at 10:10 PM on July 16, 2015


If you're seeing catbutt so much that this seems like a good product...

put your nose in a book, watch TV, take up needlework - for Christ's sake, find something else to look at, you weirdo.
posted by she's not there at 10:12 PM on July 16, 2015


seems....like a.........bad?..... idea?

Close. A catastrophe.
posted by sebastienbailard at 10:49 PM on July 16, 2015 [5 favorites]


I don't get the big deal. I wear sparkly anus jewels all the time.

Well I do now anyway.
posted by JLovebomb at 11:04 PM on July 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


Etrigan: "Read all the way to the... erm... bottom."

Yeah...except...I saw an almost identical product on TV the other day, as an actual product. The only difference was that instead of being decorated with jewel-like bedazzling, it was decorated with colorful embroidery. But that was it; otherwise identical. And not a gag gift.
posted by Bugbread at 12:05 AM on July 17, 2015


Oh how I wish I could unsee this. What a world! What a world!
posted by trip and a half at 12:32 AM on July 17, 2015


My cat would shank me in my sleep if I got him one. And he's about the most non-violent beastie ever.
posted by Samizdata at 1:37 AM on July 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Sorry, EVA!
posted by Samizdata at 1:37 AM on July 17, 2015


Yeah...except...I saw an almost identical product on TV the other day

If asked, this is exactly the sort of thing I would have guessed Americans were already doing.
posted by biffa at 2:43 AM on July 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


Butt Covers for your Cat and Dog can Reduce Pet Homosexuality by 43%. I am not sure whether that one is satire or not...
posted by Athanassiel at 3:12 AM on July 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


my cat has developed the ability, when going to the vet, of trying to avoid the butt thermometer by somehow contracting her anus when my vet lifts her tail, the vet cries, where is it? I see nothing but fur!

So I think if my cat feeling something cold against her anus is just a reminder of the anal probes she receives everything three weeks, and cue the anguished MEOW MEOW MEOW
posted by angrycat at 5:12 AM on July 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


Athanassiel, that whole site, omg. I'm just about 97% sure that it's all satire.

>put your nose in a book, watch TV, take up needlework - for Christ's sake, find something else to look at, you weirdo.
posted by she's not there at 1:12 AM on July 17


You've never had fluffy manage to get in between you and the book/screen/whatever just to make sure you've gotten a good look at that thing, obviously. It's a two part problem, cats actually communicate with scent and there's some pretty important (for them, anyway) glands back there (I'll let someone else link that askme). The second thing is that once they figure out their monkeys don't enjoy this it becomes a challenge. I'm pretty sure they keep score and compare strategies.
posted by mcrandello at 5:17 AM on July 17, 2015


Although those ones linked from the vice article show some promise. If you could make them out of something that has just enough adhesive to stay put, but not enough to actually be painful and come off easily in the event of a deuce, they'd make great indicators that it's time to go scoop out the box.
posted by mcrandello at 5:22 AM on July 17, 2015


A) My cats would rip my arms off if I tried to put one of those on them.

And justifiably so.
posted by MrGuilt at 5:33 AM on July 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


Just a note to cat owners. I am the owner of a small chihuahua/yorkie mix. Known as a yohuahua. He is very proud of his butthole and so shows it to me, at close quarters, as often as possible. I feel your pain. The struggle is real. Etc. Ad infinitum. Go Rangers.
posted by Splunge at 8:42 AM on July 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


Close. A catastrophe.

A cat ... ass ... trophy!
posted by chavenet at 1:36 PM on July 17, 2015 [7 favorites]


the anal probes she receives everything three weeks

Gosh! I hope she's OK! Not even joking :(

but ever-so eponysterical. Geez, I'd be angry too.
posted by wallabear at 7:21 PM on July 17, 2015


The house in this video looks like it was designed by Chipotle.
posted by 4ster at 8:26 PM on July 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


There's a T-shirt for this.

Mew!
posted by limeonaire at 3:33 PM on July 18, 2015


"Look, if you want to mock your cat, do what I did and get him a summer lion cut."

Nonono, a dragon cut turns your cat's summer-coat-cut-mockery into sheer amusement.
posted by galadriel at 8:22 AM on July 19, 2015 [4 favorites]


This is what Smaug needed the Arkenstone for. I see.
posted by Namlit at 8:47 AM on July 19, 2015 [3 favorites]


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