HEY HEY PITCH THAT BASE CATCH THAT BAT WHO CARES

July 18, 2015 11:16 AM

Jon Bois uses the science of crowdsourcing to create the perfect game of baseball.
posted by Navelgazer (17 comments total)

McPEEPOOP
posted by speedo at 11:39 AM on July 18, 2015 [3 favorites]

Two outs, no one on base

Heybattabatta heybattabatta BLOOD ALONE MOVES THE WHEELS OF HISTORY

-bunts foul-

-Pitcher sobs uncontrollably-
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 12:09 PM on July 18, 2015 [17 favorites]

Crowdsourcing the grass. [PDF]
posted by chavenet at 2:04 PM on July 18, 2015

I wish I had been a crowd member. I would have bought buttscratchers while yelling, "We want a pitcher not a belly-itcher!"
posted by bendy at 5:43 PM on July 18, 2015 [1 favorite]

I would like to meet that bat who cares. Is this it?
posted by moonmilk at 6:09 PM on July 18, 2015

Every word that Bois writes is pure gold, but this is just, super extra gold.

So much gold.
posted by Itaxpica at 6:48 PM on July 18, 2015

In this strange, benighted, disappointing 21st century in which we live, this was an amazing article.

I hope - sincerely - to see a moment from a baseball game in the near future where the players all stare in befuddlement at a section of the stands where the fans are chanting - apropos of nothing except perhaps a bunt gone foul - BLOOD ALONE MOVES THE WHEELS OF HISTORY. I am of the belief it is perhaps the most realistic hope I should keep moving forward.
posted by nubs at 7:07 PM on July 18, 2015 [3 favorites]

I MUST LEARN WHAT THE SPIN DOCTORS SOUND LIKE
posted by Joseph Gurl at 7:21 PM on July 18, 2015

SADNESS SALAD WITH WASTED YOUTH DRESSING
posted by maxwelton at 8:46 PM on July 18, 2015

I AM THE SEINFELD I HAVE TO BE THE SEINFELT
posted by Joseph Gurl at 9:29 PM on July 18, 2015

"We want a catcher, not a belly-scratcher!"
posted by Imperfect at 9:35 PM on July 18, 2015

"I open up my wallet and it's full of blood."
posted by Itaxpica at 11:09 PM on July 18, 2015

I will pay the full ticket price for anyone who gets a "BLOOD ALONE MOVES THE WHEELS OF HISTORY" sign on camera at any sporting event anywhere in the world.
posted by Etrigan at 8:05 AM on July 19, 2015 [6 favorites]

We need a Kickstarter for Etrigan's idea above, I'd toss in a ten for that.
posted by Keith Talent at 4:24 PM on July 19, 2015 [1 favorite]

I think you'd have a decent shot at it in a pro-wrestling audience. The Masters, not so much.
posted by box at 4:42 PM on July 19, 2015

I think you'd have a decent shot at it in a pro-wrestling audience.

ROH, possibly. WWE is crazy about signs these days and would likely take that one because they think it refers to their anti-blading policy.
posted by Etrigan at 4:45 PM on July 19, 2015 [1 favorite]

Of course, this had a real world precedent - the fans actually managed a 1951 Browns game.
posted by Chrysostom at 6:35 AM on July 21, 2015 [1 favorite]