Why Don't You....
July 23, 2015 8:27 AM Subscribe
The Twitter account Diana_Vreeland pays tribute to the celebrated fashion editor/social maven by coming up with colorful suggestions for how to live your life.
Then you are ahead of the game and welcome in the post apocalyptic treehouse
posted by The Whelk at 8:37 AM on July 23, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 8:37 AM on July 23, 2015 [9 favorites]
S J Perelman's take, from the New Yorker, April 1938
posted by newmoistness at 8:41 AM on July 23, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by newmoistness at 8:41 AM on July 23, 2015 [8 favorites]
Some actual excerpts from Vreeland's Why Don't You... column
posted by The Whelk at 8:48 AM on July 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 8:48 AM on July 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
Have an elk-hide trunk for the back of your car? Hermes of Paris will make this.
I always knew I needed this but alas didn't know where to turn. Thanks, Diana!
(advice from her actual column not even the parody account I love this woman)
posted by billiebee at 9:00 AM on July 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
I always knew I needed this but alas didn't know where to turn. Thanks, Diana!
(advice from her actual column not even the parody account I love this woman)
posted by billiebee at 9:00 AM on July 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
I definitely have a fantasy life wherein I order things from Hermes of Paris and at the same time this has no implications for global inequality, etc. (And also, it's pre-hyper-branding Hermes.) In my fantasy life, I somehow lead the life of Nancy Cunard without there being any colonialism, imperialism or class inequality involved; also somehow I lead the life of Nancy Cunard but don't need any servants because it's really no fun to imagine having people around every waking moment, leaving all ethics aside.
posted by Frowner at 9:13 AM on July 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Frowner at 9:13 AM on July 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
. . . twist her pigtails around her ears like macaroons . . .
Who knew George Lucas read S.J. Perelman?
posted by The Bellman at 9:31 AM on July 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
Who knew George Lucas read S.J. Perelman?
posted by The Bellman at 9:31 AM on July 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
What I like about the Twitter account is that a lot of the advice is pretty accessible -- paint a brick wall like a pixel mosaic! Send art books to prisons! Reserve all stereotypical assumptions for one day!
posted by The Whelk at 9:31 AM on July 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 9:31 AM on July 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
"At Dinner with Diana Vreeland" by Bruce Chatwin
Her glass of neat vodka sat on the white damask table-cloth. Beyond the smear of lipstick, a twist of lemon floated among the ice-cubes. We were sitting side by side, on a banquette.
'What are you writing about, Bruce?'
'Wales, Diana.'
The lower lip shot forward. Her painted cheeks swivelled through an angle of ninety degrees.
'Whales!' she said. 'Blue whales!... Sperrrm whales!... THE WHITE WHALE!'
'No... no, Diana! Wales! Welsh Wales! The country to the west of England.'
'Oh! Wales. I DO know Wales. Little grey houses... covered in roses... in the rain...'
posted by neroli at 9:46 AM on July 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
Her glass of neat vodka sat on the white damask table-cloth. Beyond the smear of lipstick, a twist of lemon floated among the ice-cubes. We were sitting side by side, on a banquette.
'What are you writing about, Bruce?'
'Wales, Diana.'
The lower lip shot forward. Her painted cheeks swivelled through an angle of ninety degrees.
'Whales!' she said. 'Blue whales!... Sperrrm whales!... THE WHITE WHALE!'
'No... no, Diana! Wales! Welsh Wales! The country to the west of England.'
'Oh! Wales. I DO know Wales. Little grey houses... covered in roses... in the rain...'
posted by neroli at 9:46 AM on July 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
Yes, the "prominent" nose is somewhat of a family thing. (only vaguely related) though we are all a fashion-forward sort.
posted by Devils Rancher at 11:31 AM on July 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Devils Rancher at 11:31 AM on July 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
There is a whole book of Why Don't Yous and I MUST HAVE IT.
posted by peripathetic at 12:11 PM on July 23, 2015
posted by peripathetic at 12:11 PM on July 23, 2015
I'm slightly sad that the Twitter suggestions are so much less ridiculously out-there than Vreeland's originals. She is irreplaceable, I guess. Or we all have to work together to replace her.
Why don't you . . . buy a romanesco broccoli at the farmers' market, place it on a platter, and invite friends over for a small party to admire it?
Why don't you . . . wear jewelled antennae with evening dress? Tiffany will make this.
Why don't you . . . reintroduce veils for daytime wear?
posted by ostro at 12:12 PM on July 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
Why don't you . . . buy a romanesco broccoli at the farmers' market, place it on a platter, and invite friends over for a small party to admire it?
Why don't you . . . wear jewelled antennae with evening dress? Tiffany will make this.
Why don't you . . . reintroduce veils for daytime wear?
posted by ostro at 12:12 PM on July 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
I remember reading her autobiography "DV" and laughing hysterically all the time.
posted by acrasis at 4:16 PM on July 23, 2015
posted by acrasis at 4:16 PM on July 23, 2015
I came up with my own "Why Don't you.." today while talking to my mom. She's gotten into baking and every time she visits me she brings cookies in these colorful floral boxes. I said it must be a lot of work, you know you could give me cookies in a plastic bag--- they're cookies I love them , but then she said it's pretty much impossible to cook like, cookies for two, so since she started to give them out she bought a pile of flat boxes from amazon for like five bucks and keeps them in the kitchen cabinet to make a nice Box Of Cookies for ..someone.
So I started to think about the number of cheap takeaway tins of food I hand out on a weekly basis , cause it's pretty much impossible to cook stew or curry for two, and thought .... Why don't you buy a huge ream of ribbon in your family tartan and tie a bow around all those plastic boxes.
I'll let you know if the doormen and bartenders who get them appericate it.
posted by The Whelk at 10:24 PM on July 23, 2015
So I started to think about the number of cheap takeaway tins of food I hand out on a weekly basis , cause it's pretty much impossible to cook stew or curry for two, and thought .... Why don't you buy a huge ream of ribbon in your family tartan and tie a bow around all those plastic boxes.
I'll let you know if the doormen and bartenders who get them appericate it.
posted by The Whelk at 10:24 PM on July 23, 2015
Imagine being Diana Vreeland's actual assistant though.
posted by tel3path at 7:09 AM on July 25, 2015
posted by tel3path at 7:09 AM on July 25, 2015
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What if you already have this as part of your actual go-bag, along with several favorite cashmere scarves and your grandmother's jewelry?
posted by Frowner at 8:37 AM on July 23, 2015 [8 favorites]