Norm Macdonald is the new KFC Colonel
August 17, 2015 11:06 AM   Subscribe

Our Long National Nightmare is Over..."just a few short months later, Hammond is out for some reason and Norm Macdonald — of all people, being that he is not known to take corporate sponsorship very seriously — is in, if you caught the commercials that debuted on TV and online Sunday night..."
posted by randomkeystrike (93 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
 
In keeping with the spirit of hiring SNL alumni for the role, I hereby nominate Chris Rock as the next Colonel Sanders.
posted by item at 11:13 AM on August 17, 2015 [42 favorites]


Oh please, please, please ... Carrot Top.
posted by lagomorphius at 11:15 AM on August 17, 2015 [5 favorites]


Gallagher 2.
posted by entropicamericana at 11:15 AM on August 17, 2015


I happened on one of the Hammond ads recently and it was jarringly creepy - he had a similar air as the plastic Burger King mask guy, I thought.
posted by aught at 11:16 AM on August 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


Darrell Hammond was a completely creepy Sanders. Norm Macdonald is a mediocre Sanders. But he's better than creepy Sanders. Now we just need Dennis Miller as the Hamburglar and all will be well.
posted by Splunge at 11:16 AM on August 17, 2015 [10 favorites]


Related Posts
Nothing comes between me and my Calvins March 21, 2010
Finger Lickin' Awkward January 8, 2010
Cold, Wet, and Doubly Up in Your Crotch. August 13, 2007
America's Problem - How Torture Came Down From The... August 27, 2004
Has one of terrorism's former poster children... May 29, 2002


Heh...wait what
posted by clockzero at 11:17 AM on August 17, 2015 [16 favorites]


Checking calendar...not April 1st.
posted by SkinnerSan at 11:20 AM on August 17, 2015


clockzero - it's either the creepy tag or the KFC tag...

(edit - no it's the colonel tag in some of the worst ones... :-) )
posted by randomkeystrike at 11:22 AM on August 17, 2015


In keeping with the spirit of hiring SNL alumni for the role, I hereby nominate Chris Rock as the next Colonel Sanders.

I think this is literally the plan here -- not Chris Rock necessarily, but a succession of "real" Colonel Sanderses expressing outrage at being misrepresented as they promote some new chicken deal.

It also seems that they're subtly making the ads more surreal, with the Macdonald Colonel's office being in a giant chicken bucket. They're taking a page from Old Spice.
posted by me3dia at 11:22 AM on August 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


Cue Victoria Jackson with the ukelele and wacky racist birther fried chicken jokes.
posted by SenorJaime at 11:22 AM on August 17, 2015 [25 favorites]


I'm in the minority, I guess, but I really liked Hammond as the Kentucky Colonel.

A little disappointed that Norm MacDonald has taken on the skinny tie, but a guy's gotta eat, so good for him. Maybe I'd be happier if they'd let him tell the moth joke as Burt Reynolds doing Colonel Sanders. I'd buy a bucket of that. Maybe two.
posted by notyou at 11:23 AM on August 17, 2015 [17 favorites]


I remember a lot of people being really angry when Norm MacDonald's Hardee's commercials came out back when Super Star bought them.
posted by Pope Guilty at 11:24 AM on August 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


So they're selling Pepsi Blue at KFC now, eh?
posted by Celsius1414 at 11:24 AM on August 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


I never understood how making Colonel Sanders into George W Bush was supposed to make people want to buy fried chicken.
posted by dirigibleman at 11:24 AM on August 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


I am totally eating KFC this week.
posted by cjorgensen at 11:24 AM on August 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


Related posts, and why:
Nothing comes between me and my Calvins March 21, 2010 [associated tags: creepy, advertising]
Finger Lickin' Awkward January 8, 2010 [associated tags: kfc, advertising]
Cold, Wet, and Doubly Up in Your Crotch. August 13, 2007 [related tag: colonel]
America's Problem - How Torture Came Down From The... (Top) August 27, 2004 [related tag: colonel]
Has one of terrorism's former poster children,... (Qaddafi, finally turned over a new leaf?) May 29, 2002 [related tag: colonel]
posted by filthy light thief at 11:25 AM on August 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


Anyone know what ever happened to that Qaddafi guy? Did he ever turn over a new leaf? Maybe he can be the next Colonel Sanders.
posted by item at 11:27 AM on August 17, 2015 [8 favorites]


In the next commercial, the Colonel sits in his chicken-bucket office and dispatches a giant inflatable balloon to immobilize someone who defiantly tries to eat at Chipotle.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 11:28 AM on August 17, 2015 [5 favorites]


Ride this out, people. The Kate McKinnon Colonel is gonna be awesome.
posted by prize bull octorok at 11:32 AM on August 17, 2015 [21 favorites]


I like how Macdonald doesn't even bother to change is standard central Canadian accent.
posted by Nevin at 11:33 AM on August 17, 2015 [16 favorites]


In the next commercial, the Colonel sits in his chicken-bucket office and dispatches a giant inflatable balloon to immobilize someone who defiantly tries to eat at Chipotle.

I'm kind of hoping for a commercial inspired by the end of Scarface, where a drug-crazed Sanders thrusts his face over and over into a huge pile of fried chicken and mashed potatoes and then exchanges gunfire with characters from McDonaldland, shrieking incoherently the whole time.

This is probably why I never get asked back to ad pitch meetings.
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:35 AM on August 17, 2015 [27 favorites]


A few of my friends and I have been a little boggled by this whole campaign. What, exactly, was the impetus behind returning to the Antebellum-reminiscent style of the Colonel? In a year where the biggest topic of every media cycle is the violent death of black people by law enforcement, isn't it a little tone deaf to launch a campaign about fried chicken that reminds you of the good ol' days? With a white-suited kentucky colonel being all folksy, it's...

I just can't fathom how the idea got past focus groups or any kind of marketing group. It's not hugely problematic, but... it just feels almost inhumanly stupid.
posted by shmegegge at 11:35 AM on August 17, 2015 [13 favorites]


GenjiandProust: there was a whole South Park episode of exactly that. It was also about medical marijuana.
posted by lkc at 11:37 AM on August 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


It does look like they are doing a series of different actors playing the Colonel, but I thought that Darrell Hammond was perfect for the role because he was kind of creepy. Having him in the role drove home the idea of Colonel Sanders as the KFC mascot was a little weird, and they knew it, so they might as well make it sort of a joke.
posted by deanc at 11:38 AM on August 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


Yeah, no. I wanna see Patton Oswalt have a crack. But only if he gets to script it as well.
posted by flabdablet at 11:38 AM on August 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


there was a whole South Park episode of exactly that

Goddammit. Now I must be ashamed.
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:39 AM on August 17, 2015


Metafilter: It's not hugely problematic, but... it just feels almost inhumanly stupid.
posted by randomkeystrike at 11:41 AM on August 17, 2015 [10 favorites]


"I like how Macdonald doesn't even bother to change is standard central Canadian accent."

He does try to sound different when he puts on the suit. It's probably not even close to a Southern accent, but it's a slightly lower tone of voice. Like when Bruce Wayne becomes Batman.
posted by Kevin Street at 11:45 AM on August 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


I think this is literally the plan here -- not Chris Rock necessarily, but a succession of "real" Colonel Sanderses expressing outrage at being misrepresented as they promote some new chicken deal.

Chris Rock,
Donald Glover,
Aisha Tyler,
Tina Fey (in pajamas and/or sweatpants),
then back to Hammond.
posted by bonehead at 11:46 AM on August 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


I like how Macdonald doesn't even bother to change is standard central Canadian accent.

I stand second to few in my love of Norm Macdonald, but he is shit at impressions/accents, and he damn well knows it, and he's gonna make you damn well listen to his crap Southern accent and like it.
posted by Etrigan at 11:48 AM on August 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


bonehead: then back to Hammond.

Who says "What, I say, what was all that about?"

It seems I've blended Foghorn Leghorn with the Colonel in my head, which is actually darker than I realized. Sick, sick, sick.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:50 AM on August 17, 2015 [5 favorites]


I stand second to few in my love of Norm Macdonald, but he is shit at impressions/accents

His Letterman is pretty good.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:50 AM on August 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


Alec Baldwin as Mark Twain as Colonel Sanders should be on the shortlist.
posted by AndrewInDC at 11:52 AM on August 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


In one of the two ads I saw last night, he is sitting in a regular office, apparently last decorated in maybe 1973, and one of the Hammond ads actually plays on a 1970s-vintage color TV, so he's not entirely based in the chicken bucket.
posted by briank at 11:53 AM on August 17, 2015


Also the fact that they overtly included the Hammond ad says to me that this is a Thing and not a random replacement.

Tina Fey (in pajamas and/or sweatpants),

From your lips to God's ears.
posted by briank at 11:54 AM on August 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


If SNL just blocked out an entire show as a sequence of fake KFC commercials with a constantly rotating Sanders, I'd be on board.
posted by cortex at 12:00 PM on August 17, 2015 [6 favorites]


At some point we have to confront the fact that the original commercials were also Nightmare Fuel...
posted by randomkeystrike at 12:01 PM on August 17, 2015


If you want Kentucky Fried Chicken, you have to visit me... Come sit on the Colonel's lap.
posted by Kevin Street at 12:04 PM on August 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


Next? Lovitz.
posted by zzazazz at 12:07 PM on August 17, 2015 [7 favorites]


His Letterman is pretty good.

Also his Burt Reynolds
posted by Hoopo at 12:08 PM on August 17, 2015 [3 favorites]




Norm Mac Donald as Bob Dole as Colonel Sanders.
posted by Hicksu at 12:11 PM on August 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


I like how Macdonald doesn't even bother to change is standard central Canadian accent.

Fun Fact: the Colonel owned a home in Mississauga, Ontario from '65 to '80.


As I clicked I was thinking, "boy, I can't imagine Norm MacDonald doing anything for my appetite" and then I see that he's in his goddamn underwear. Why?
posted by bonobothegreat at 12:13 PM on August 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


My vote is for Christopher Walken--he's already got experience playing a Colonel.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 12:14 PM on August 17, 2015 [5 favorites]


His Letterman is pretty good.

Also his Burt Reynolds
Turd Ferguson.

Actually, I wouldn't mind seeing a KFC commercial with Turd as the spokesman. Makes a certain amount of sense.
posted by Ufez Jones at 12:14 PM on August 17, 2015 [6 favorites]


Also, all joking aside, I do hope this was more of a planned thing and everything is okay with Darrell Hammond. He's had some deep personal battles over the years and I would hate to hear that this is the result of him being in a bad place with those.
posted by Ufez Jones at 12:17 PM on August 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


Ladies and gentlemen, this man is for the birds!
posted by Senor Cardgage at 12:18 PM on August 17, 2015 [8 favorites]


Alton Brown was robbed!

Seriously though, I would have watched the hell out of a Southern Good Eats spinoff starring the Colonel...
posted by Ian A.T. at 12:19 PM on August 17, 2015 [6 favorites]


There can only be ONE ultimate Colonel Sanders, and when all is said and done, it HAS to be Gilbert Gottfried. I would actually start eating that crap again if Gilbert was shilling it!
posted by Quasimike at 12:23 PM on August 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


I would actually start eating that crap again if Gilbert was shilling it!

Did you buy Aflac when he was the duck?
posted by maxsparber at 12:34 PM on August 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


Did the original Colonel Sanders die on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson or was that just the health nut guy?

We are now up to two pitch-imperfect pseudo-sanders. Maybe they could use one of the Japanese plastic life-size statues of him. On a steek.
posted by hexatron at 12:38 PM on August 17, 2015


Riding a chicken, one hand holding his hat in the air!
posted by Kevin Street at 12:39 PM on August 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Did the original Colonel Sanders die on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson or was that just the health nut guy?

Jerome Rodale, organic gardening advocate and founder of Prevention magazine, died on Dick Cavett's show.
posted by Etrigan at 12:41 PM on August 17, 2015


I actually thought the Colonel was the perfect gig for Darrell Hammond. He could just disappear from real life and become the Colonel. Creepy? I didn't mind it, but then I fantasize about partying with the Burger King and Jack. If we're gonna just keep swapping Colonels though, I think we should give A Whitney Brown a shot at it.
posted by DaddyNewt at 12:42 PM on August 17, 2015


Did the original Colonel Sanders die on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson or was that just the health nut guy?

You're thinking of J. I. Rodale, who died on the Dick Cavett show in 1971.
posted by maxsparber at 12:43 PM on August 17, 2015


If we're gonna just keep swapping Colonels though, I think we should give A Whitney Brown a shot at it.

That might be what finally puts him over the top to become The Whitney Brown.
posted by Etrigan at 12:44 PM on August 17, 2015 [18 favorites]


Cue Victoria Jackson with the ukelele and wacky racist birther fried chicken jokes.

How about we "forget" to give her that cue
posted by clockzero at 12:46 PM on August 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


In keeping with the spirit of hiring SNL alumni for the role, I hereby nominate Chris Rock as the next Colonel Sanders.

Chris Rock is a Popeye's guy. I know this form his brief mention of it during his ride in a car with Jerry Seinfeld. As a result I went and tried Popeye's on a date night with my wife before seeing some experimental jazz. It was good. The Popeye's that is. Experimental Jazz is not my thing.
posted by srboisvert at 12:47 PM on August 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


If we're gonna just keep swapping Colonels though, I think we should give A Whitney Brown a shot at it.

And the follow it with Dennis Miller doing exactly the same commercial, but smarmily and with an increasing right wing bent.
posted by maxsparber at 12:48 PM on August 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


I dunno, John Goodman did a pretty dang good job of it.
posted by Blue_Villain at 12:55 PM on August 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


"If you want Kentucky Fried Chicken, you have to visit me... Come sit on the Colonel's lap."

I'd totally do that right now for some Original Recipe™ white meat.

What? What did I say?
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 1:03 PM on August 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Every KFC in the world could close and I wouldn't lose a moment of sleep. The only way I'd ever eat there again would be if I was stranded, really hungry and had no other options. There is no taste to that stuff except "salt." It's a terrible thing to do to a chicken.

Creepy Southerner mascot ain't helping either. Norm can't make it any worse, I'll give them that.
posted by emjaybee at 1:10 PM on August 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


I'm hoping this is a thing -- multiple actors embodying the same character. Like James Bond, only a comedy.

When Charlie Sheen left Two and a Half Men, and they were casting a replacement, a female comic actor, an A-list celebrity, went to Chuck Lorre and said, "Hire me."

Her take on it was this: The Charlie Sheen character would be replaced by her, a female actor, and the show would continue as if nothing had ever happened. Think Dick York and Dick Sargent on Bewitched. Same scripts, same jokes, same character. No mention of the gender swap at all. It just is. Externally, there's no warning, no PR. It just happens.

This would go on for a few episodes. Then she'd get replaced by another actor to take on the character, and after a few shows, that actor would be replaced, and so on, and so on. And then the audience starts going, "OK, who's it gonna be next?"

Lorre was game for it, if CBS was. They weren't, didn't want to sell the idea at up-fronts that there'd be a "mystery replacement," because sponsors would be hesitant to sign up. So, hello, Ashton Kutcher.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:17 PM on August 17, 2015 [13 favorites]


I kind of liked the befuddled, unfrozen from cryo-sleep take Hammond brought to the character which used to be a real person. I like Macdonald's take too, though. Neither of them would get me to choose KFC over another option.
posted by ob1quixote at 1:22 PM on August 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


I'm glad this post showed up. I was so confused when this commercial came on. I was like, I thought it was Hammond? Has it been Norm Macdonald this whole time? It must have been, right? What is going on? Can I ever trust my thoughts and perceptions ever again? Is God real?
posted by bleep at 1:39 PM on August 17, 2015 [5 favorites]


Rachel Dratch as Colonel Sanders...

...followed by Gilbert Gottfried.
posted by zippy at 1:51 PM on August 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


Whoa, those were so creepy I didn't even realize it was Hammond.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 1:55 PM on August 17, 2015


I was picturing Norm Abram. Was disappointed.
posted by DarkForest at 1:57 PM on August 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


I think it would be cool if they just keep replacing him with different celebrities every few months. The "Tom Hanks as the Colonel" Super Bowl commercial would be awesome.
posted by dances with hamsters at 2:02 PM on August 17, 2015


KFC: Hilarious ads --> Substandard chicken
Popeyes: Bad racist commercials --> Best fast food fried chicken

Chickens is unfair.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 2:04 PM on August 17, 2015 [9 favorites]


Just wait 'til you find out that Andy Kaufman's been in the Chick-Fil-A cow suit the whole time.
posted by delfin at 2:07 PM on August 17, 2015 [9 favorites]


Those Hammond as the Colonel commercials are indeed creepy. But they're awesome, too.
posted by persona au gratin at 2:13 PM on August 17, 2015


Did someone say Tom Hanks?
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 2:15 PM on August 17, 2015


The cycle will only be complete when Mike Myers reminds us that the Colonel is a member of the pentaverate, which is why we crave his chicken fortnightly (skip to the 1:00 minute mark if you can't stand haggis)
posted by OHenryPacey at 2:18 PM on August 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


I now weep for the Two and a Half Men that might have been. Shit, that would have been insane.
posted by Ber at 2:26 PM on August 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


Tom Hanks as the professor is more of a Tennessee Williams character. A man desperately holding on to the last shreds of his dignity by maintaining the standards of what he mistakenly remembers as a gentler time.
posted by Kevin Street at 2:26 PM on August 17, 2015


I haven't seen it mentioned yet, but:

COLONEL SANDLERS

Like, talking in the baby voice, but with a "southern drawl" that he sort of bails on after 2-3 sentences, then he does that really loud forced "HAW HAW HAW HAW" laugh

I mean let's just go all the way with this
posted by jake at 2:44 PM on August 17, 2015 [6 favorites]


Did you buy Aflac when he was the duck?

No, I already had good insurance through my workplace. Still, I liked the duck.

Also, it's much less expensive to buy the chicken than the insurance, so I'll assume your question is not really serious.

Also, fark AFLAC...they need to get over themselves and bring Gilbert back...
posted by Quasimike at 3:21 PM on August 17, 2015


This made me think back to a particular Ren & Stimpy take on KFC commercials. Do you remember KFC using the Colonel in their ads in the '90s, even after he died? R&S riffed on that.

Twenty years later and I still haven't been able to forget it. It's one of the most disturbing things Nickelodeon ever broadcast.
posted by riruro at 3:24 PM on August 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


Was there a time when there was a different style of colonel? Did I miss this while I was deployed? I thought they were always weird white suited old Southern Grandpa types.
posted by corb at 3:46 PM on August 17, 2015


At some point in the 2000s, they had a poster that featured the Colonel in both the white suit and various national costumes and it was super racist and weird.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 3:52 PM on August 17, 2015


item: "In keeping with the spirit of hiring SNL alumni for the role, I hereby nominate Chris Rock as the next Colonel Sanders"

Author of the article already beat you to it and did it better:

In which case my money’s on Tim Meadows as the next Colonel.
posted by barnacles at 4:07 PM on August 17, 2015


Justin Roiland as Rick Sanchez as Colonel Sanders
posted by Smart Dalek at 4:16 PM on August 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Kristen Schaal should take a swing at this.
posted by brundlefly at 4:36 PM on August 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Kristen Schaal is a horse.
posted by lauranesson at 5:17 PM on August 17, 2015 [6 favorites]


If Idris Elba isn't going to be the next James Bond, then why not the next Col. Sanders?
posted by gyc at 5:55 PM on August 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


All of the Parks and Recreation cast, in turn. All of them.
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:49 PM on August 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


If they're taking requests, I'd like Diamanda Galas doing an ad for ChickieNobs.
posted by latkes at 6:54 PM on August 17, 2015


How could Jon Lovitz do Colonel Sanders?



act-ING!
posted by 4ster at 7:39 PM on August 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


Legalizing marijuana is working!
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 8:35 PM on August 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


#feelthebern
posted by oceanjesse at 5:22 AM on August 18, 2015


+1 vote for Chris Parnell as Colonel Sanders, mostly because he is a stage-fighting expert and I want to see him wrestle and then slaughter a giant chicken for frying mid-commercial.

It's the next step in surrealist marketing, considering where Colonel Norm's office is currently located...
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 8:37 AM on August 18, 2015


Chris Parnell probably doesn't need the work.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:26 AM on August 18, 2015


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