#9 Inadvertent, Manitoba. #33 Wintergreen Slap. #39 Don Henley Tirade.

August 28, 2015 6:54 PM

Superego's Mark McConville (previously: 1, 2, 3, 4) is making some very specific Top 50 lists:

Top 50 Nastiest Black Diamond Ski Runs in the World
Top 50 Retired Price Is Right Games
Top 50 Canadian Ghost Towns
Top 50 Vape Flavors in America for 2015
[h/t]

posted by Room 641-A (26 comments total)

I can personally attest that the list of vape flavors is 100% true and accurate.
posted by louche mustachio at 6:57 PM on August 28, 2015 [3 favorites]

I'm convinced the list of the black diamond runs is fiction.
posted by susiswimmer at 7:08 PM on August 28, 2015

This is like Merlin Mann's 5ives, only multiplied by 10.
posted by SansPoint at 7:11 PM on August 28, 2015

Bottom 20 of the Top 50 Confusing Road Signs! Go!

#50 Swerge #49 Speed Doubled in Work Zone #48 Yield only from other side #47 Skink Crossing (Mon-Thurs) #46 Groovy Pavement, Motorcyclists use Lotion #45 Caution: Street Becomes Three Directions #44 Surprise! #43 Falling Jetsam #42 Speed Limit Maximum 55 Minimum 75 #41 Left lanes except EZPass #40 Cold Shoulder #39 Bridge may freeze before Bridge #38 Do Not Not Enter #37 Spot #36 Left Lane Exit Not Only But Also #35 Welcome to New Jersey #34 Frost Heaves #33 Ped F-ing #32 Left Lane MUST Turn Right #31 Hysterical Business District #30 No Porking
posted by not_on_display at 7:12 PM on August 28, 2015 [16 favorites]

Fun brainstorms, but some are a little lazy. Diet Cola?

Retired Price is Right games practically write themselves. ... Cheese on a Stick ... Squeeze the Weasel ... How Much Can Your Cheeks Hold? ... 'Taint Nothing!
posted by mrgrimm at 7:28 PM on August 28, 2015

Oily Rope.
posted by furtive at 7:49 PM on August 28, 2015 [8 favorites]

Difficult ski runs have names that are plenty ridiculous without need to resort to fiction. Some of my favorites at Whistler: the Goat Path, which leads you into Lower VD Chutes; Spanky's Ladder; Don't Miss; and of course, tribute to local hardcore punk legends, DOA.

Also, none of the ghost towns are as funny as Spuzzum, BC.
posted by [expletive deleted] at 7:51 PM on August 28, 2015 [4 favorites]

Huh. I always thought Child Marrow was in Saskatchewan. Stupid prairie provinces, being so similar.

Bile, Newfoundland & Labrador was actually the bedroom community of Placentia Bay. It became unincorporated after the ambergris industry went through a loooooong depression.
posted by Lemurrhea at 7:54 PM on August 28, 2015

Bottom 20 of the Top 50 Confusing Road Signs! Go!

#50 - Ornery Local Stereotype
#49 - Completely Unremarkable Natural Phenomenon Next 2KM
#48 - Warning: In 500 Meters A Thing Will Happen And The Right Decision Will Seem Obvious In Hindsight But Nobody In The Car Will Ever Let You Live What Happens Down
#47 - If There Were No Eternal Consciousness In The Next 10 KM, If At The Bottom Of Everything There Were Only A Wild Ferment, A Power That Twisting In Dark Passions Produced Everything Great Or Inconsequential, If An Unfathomable, Insatiable Emptiness Lay Hid Beneath Everything, What Would The Next 10 KM Be But Despair
#46 - Meese
#45 - Slow Children Playing
#44 - Duck Season Rabbit Season Duck Season Rabbit Season Duck Season Rabbit Season Duck Season Rabbit Season Duck Season Rabbit Season Duck Season Rabbit Season Duck Season Rabbit Season Duck Season Rabbit Season Duck Season Rabbit Season
#43 - Iield, Yield, Theild. Hield, Shield, Wield
#42 - Jarring Pop-Culture Reference, 200M
#41 - I Don't Like Your Tone Young Man
#40 - Eldritch Nether Regions, Next Left
#39 - Smarter Children Playing But Still Not The Brightest Of Sparks Honestly Rachel It's A Highway Who Lets Their Kids Do That Somebody Should Call Somebody My God
#38 - Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Red Rum Turn Right Next Exit
#37 - Property Is Theft Therefore Theft Is Property Therefore This Road Sign Is Mine Now That Is How It Works Doug
#36 - OMG LIEK WOAH NEXT 3 KM OMG OMG
#35 - Yo Dawg I Heard You Like Hairpin Turns So We Put A Hairpin Turn In Your Hairpin Turn So You Can Die While You Die
#34 - Last Exit To Brooks Brothers
#33 - Locus Of Shame Next 2 KM
#32 - The Department Of Transportation Herd U Liek Mudkips
#31 - Caution But Telling You Why Would Ruin The Surprise
#30 - Slow: Ennui
posted by mhoye at 7:56 PM on August 28, 2015 [15 favorites]

Metafilter: Hysterical Business District
posted by belarius at 8:20 PM on August 28, 2015 [1 favorite]

#50 Swerge

I've seen this done in rush-hour traffic.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:54 PM on August 28, 2015 [1 favorite]

#35 - Yo Dawg I Heard You Like Hairpin Turns So We Put A Hairpin Turn In Your Hairpin Turn So You Can Die While You Die

Been there done that A++ would turn again
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:03 PM on August 28, 2015 [1 favorite]

Mystery, Alaska: not technically a Canadian Ghost Town.
posted by blue_beetle at 9:37 PM on August 28, 2015

As a long-term vaper, I have discovered there are a surprising number of varieties of Hollowed-Out Mannequin Leg, mostly mislabeled with vaguely breakfast-cereal-sounding names.
posted by davelog at 10:11 PM on August 28, 2015 [2 favorites]

There's an Oily Rope vape flavour (I guess that's a thing now?) and an Oily Rope, Saskatchewan?

I sense the claw of a robot in these lists, otherwise I would be on eBay seeing if Birchflute Canyon, Alberta was for sale.
posted by Mezentian at 11:15 PM on August 28, 2015 [1 favorite]

I've gone on the Gentrified Cul-de-sac run, it used to be the Lauren Hill, but they fixed it all up and it's not really the same anymore and it's too expensive to keep going there now.
posted by numaner at 11:55 PM on August 28, 2015 [2 favorites]

Couldn't figure out how Hurdles wasn't the #1 retired Price Is Right game… then I couldn't figure out why Hurdles wasn't even anywhere in the list… then I realized THIS IS A PUT-ON
posted by scrowdid at 12:00 AM on August 29, 2015

I oily rope this oily rope! The oily rope section of the oily rope was the oily rope part. But oily rope as the oily rope?
posted by ShawnString at 3:59 AM on August 29, 2015 [1 favorite]

As a long-term vaper, I have discovered there are a surprising number of varieties of Hollowed-Out Mannequin Leg, mostly mislabeled with vaguely breakfast-cereal-sounding names.

Yeah, what is even with the vaguely breakfast-cereal-sounding names? Are there really people who find the idea of Cap'n-Crunch-and-milk–flavored cigarettes to be not disturbing?
posted by nebulawindphone at 5:39 AM on August 29, 2015

"NYC Cab Ride" wouldn't even merit a single blue square in the Rockies.
posted by humanfont at 8:27 AM on August 29, 2015 [2 favorites]

There's an Oily Rope vape flavour (I guess that's a thing now?) and an Oily Rope, Saskatchewan?

As I'm certainly far from the first to observe, #45 is Oily Rope in all the lists.

I tend to admire people who have brains that just barf up hilarity whether they want them to or not. (Sean Tejaratchi is pretty heroic in this regard.) I have notebooks full of this sort of idiocy myself.
posted by George_Spiggott at 12:03 PM on August 29, 2015

My first inkling that these were fake was that Inadvertent is a highly implausible name for a Manitoba ghost town. If you had lead with Weirdtree, you would have had me going for a little longer.

Kettle actually had me thinking of Kettle Rapids.

Oily Rope Saskatchewan might in fact be too plausible.
posted by RobotHero at 12:32 PM on August 29, 2015

Aside from the ubiquity of Oily Rope, I was also pleased to see an Alaskan town snuck into the Canadian list, but I was kinda hoping that he would also have snuck in Toronto.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:11 PM on August 29, 2015 [2 favorites]

I've skiied Lauren Hill--watch out for the y.
posted by box at 5:03 AM on August 30, 2015 [2 favorites]

I will now go make a fake (double?) black diamond trail sign for 'Spoiler Alert!'
posted by drowsy at 7:39 AM on August 30, 2015

scrowdid: "Couldn't figure out how Hurdles wasn't the #1 retired Price Is Right game… then I couldn't figure out why Hurdles wasn't even anywhere in the list… then I realized THIS IS A PUT-ON"

Damn it I was all set to visit as many Canadian ghost towns as I could reach.
posted by Mitheral at 9:29 AM on August 30, 2015