March 1, 2016 7:33 PM   Subscribe

You smack the AKTAD with your hammer. You score a critical hit and the AKTAD is partially disassembled! [via mefi projects -- actually, a friend shared it on FB, and I found it here when I was getting ready to post!]*

In the Market Hall, you spot an ensorcelled saucepan (allows you to cast Summon Hex Wrench Golem once/hour).

The 4x4 EXPEDIT attacks! You take 8 oak damage.

You are in the Food Market.
You eat a hotdog and regain 9 HP. You feel content.

Yes, it's a Twitter account that tweets D&D-style encounters in the labyrinthine dungeon that is IKEA. Come to think of it, would hex paper make navigating IKEA easier?

*Let's just say I was not surprised that there was Mefite involvement.
posted by wintersweet (10 comments total) 19 users marked this as a favorite
Protip: There's little (manually DM'd) adventures in some of the reply threads to the bot comments!
posted by ignignokt at 8:28 PM on March 1, 2016 [2 favorites]

Make sure you never linger in an IKEA past closing hours. Once the lights go off, you are likely to be eaten by a GRÜ.
posted by roger ackroyd at 11:16 PM on March 1, 2016 [3 favorites]

posted by EndsOfInvention at 2:04 AM on March 2, 2016

Compared to my previous bots (the two most popular of which have gradually crept to just over 200 followers over a period of months), the fact that this went from zero to over 500 followers in like 3 days was kind of mind-blowing. It seems like the cross-over between D&D nerds and Ikea lovers is pretty big.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 2:11 AM on March 2, 2016 [2 favorites]

There is also a walkthrough for IKEA, the adventure game.
posted by tallmiddleagedgeek at 6:03 AM on March 2, 2016 [1 favorite]

That's cheating.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 6:09 AM on March 2, 2016

The spells are great. I so want an excuse to cast Conjure Potted Plant or Bolt of Bolts.
posted by Banknote of the year at 6:55 AM on March 2, 2016 [1 favorite]

I will now take all the credit for posting it over on Facebook.
posted by telophase at 9:26 AM on March 2, 2016 [3 favorites]

Ha! I should have hat-tipped you or asked if you wanted to post it yourself. Sorry, telophase! (I'm usually pretty good about that.)

I see "flatpackomancy" has made it into the account...
posted by wintersweet at 11:44 AM on March 2, 2016 [2 favorites]

I am far too intimidated to make an FPP! Post away!

My gamer husband immediately sent this to all his friends. He's engaged in many a battle himself with IKEA items.
posted by telophase at 8:51 AM on March 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

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