Step aside Nutella; there's a new spread in town
March 18, 2016 9:20 AM   Subscribe

As Easter approaches and the thoughts of many turn to chocolate, Mars has usurped news of the Creme Egg crodough by announcing that Twix is now on sale as a spread. Available in Asda (the UK version of Walmart), the press release describes it as a “delicious chocolate and caramel spread with crunchy biscuit pieces” that can be “spread over warm toast or a crumpet, dunked with a breadstick, or topped on a cake or waffle”. Early reviews are cautiously positive.

Despite some international confusion over British foods e.g. a crumpet being described as "a kind of thick pancake", there is much interest in this latest addition to the culinary range. There's not just Nutella, that most versatile of spreads; Mars already produces the Milky Way, Bounty (contains fruit), and Malteser spreads. Not to be outdone, Hershey's give us the Reese's Peanut Butter Chocolate Spread (and an example recipe), as well as their own named brand.

Upmarket brands also exist, as well as supermarket own brands , spreads produced by other chocolate companies, and so many more.
posted by Wordshore (87 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
 
THAT FOOD I LIKE

MASH IT INTO A PASTE, THAT I MIGHT EAT IT ON EVERYTHING
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:24 AM on March 18, 2016 [59 favorites]


MetaFilter: the thoughts of many turn to chocolate
posted by Fizz at 9:25 AM on March 18, 2016 [5 favorites]


The bigger question is: is it a crumpet or a pykelet? And do you have it with butter alone, or butter and jam?

#pykelets4life.
posted by marienbad at 9:30 AM on March 18, 2016 [3 favorites]


oooh. I could actually eat this one though*. thanks for nothing allergies, you left a nutella shaped hole in my life.

* I hope. don't screw this one up by processing it in a nutty facility pls >_<
posted by suddenly, and without warning, at 9:36 AM on March 18, 2016 [2 favorites]


It's been noted that the Twix spread has less sugar than Nutella, so that's something.
posted by Four Ds at 9:37 AM on March 18, 2016 [5 favorites]


About damn time! It's hard to believe that today, in 2016, some vendors still expect me to chew their food products instead of slowly inhaling an appropriately flavoured paste into my gullet.
posted by Behemoth at 9:39 AM on March 18, 2016 [14 favorites]


Yep, what we definitely need is more sugar-based products to spread on bread. While we're at it, let's replace bread with slices of white fondant icing. Seems silly to be wasting all that precious time on things that aren't sugar. After all, once you're diabetic, all the fun stops.
posted by pipeski at 9:41 AM on March 18, 2016 [6 favorites]


I think spreadable biscuits started with Biscoff. Certainly UK minds were blown nationwide when this hit the shelves a year or two ago.
posted by colie at 9:41 AM on March 18, 2016 [15 favorites]


The only real question is does the jar turn into a shot glass* after use like Nutella?

*So that you are always drinking whisky in the jar
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 9:41 AM on March 18, 2016 [2 favorites]


"How can we get people to put cake frosting on toast for breakfast?"
posted by clockzero at 9:41 AM on March 18, 2016 [12 favorites]


I keep saying that I am going to make homemade Nutella, but I am held back by the certainty that I would eat it all in one sitting, with a spoon, like pudding.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 9:42 AM on March 18, 2016 [8 favorites]


"Crodough"? It's called a cronut, folks. Unless you're pronouncing it "crud-off," in which case, have at it.

Despite some international confusion over British foods e.g. a crumpet being described as "a kind of thick pancake"

First, that's what a crumpet is. Second, that's a British site.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:42 AM on March 18, 2016 [2 favorites]


Twix spread has less sugar than Nutella

8% is something like 1g per 20g serving (assuming 12g sugar in the Nutella) ... which seems close enough to a rounding error to call it a wash.

I still maintain that hagelslag is the ideal way to put chocolate on your toast, though.
posted by uncleozzy at 9:43 AM on March 18, 2016 [6 favorites]


Thick pancake with holes in the top.
posted by colie at 9:44 AM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


As a fat man, I can recommend cookie butter or speculoos.
posted by Ham Snadwich at 9:44 AM on March 18, 2016 [11 favorites]




you call 'em crumpets, I call 'em trypophobiscuits
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:45 AM on March 18, 2016 [9 favorites]


"How can we get people to put cake frosting on toast for breakfast?"

Israel's beat the rest of the world to this by about 60 years: there's an Israeli spread called Hashachar Ha'ole. It's spreadable chocolate - think Nutella without even the pretense of hazelnuts. Or, you know, chocolate cake frosting.

There is a vegan (i.e. parve) dark chocolate version which is just fabulous, though.
posted by Itaxpica at 9:47 AM on March 18, 2016 [3 favorites]


"How can we get people to put cake frosting on toast for breakfast?"

Added additional tag to the post.
posted by Wordshore at 9:48 AM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


“spread over warm toast or a crumpet, dunked with a breadstick, or topped on a cake or waffle”

...or eaten with a spoon straight out of the jar.

By the way, I have to pass Asda on the way home from work.
posted by biffa at 9:49 AM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]




Mars Inc. today defended its significant investments in Consolidated Insulin Inc. as "part of a normal, healthy diversified portfolio".
posted by Talez at 9:52 AM on March 18, 2016 [11 favorites]


So when do we get Cadbury Creme spread?
posted by maryr at 10:00 AM on March 18, 2016 [3 favorites]


Popped in to note the Biscoff cookie spread too, colie! Ham Sandwich, I think it's basically the same thing as that Speculoos cookie butter. I LOVE the Biscoff spread. Very excited to try this Twix spread -- Twix is one of my favorites (really because of the biscuit component).
posted by odin53 at 10:01 AM on March 18, 2016 [2 favorites]


So when do we get Cadbury Creme spread?

Unofficial version.
posted by Wordshore at 10:02 AM on March 18, 2016


The Dutch have been eating jimmies for breakfast for years.
posted by maryr at 10:03 AM on March 18, 2016 [2 favorites]


How is it possible that this isn't available in the US? Don't they know how much we love sugar?
posted by lunasol at 10:04 AM on March 18, 2016 [2 favorites]


Wordshore - tempting, but no. I've been enjoying these cookies, (found at Target and, great news, Massholes, Christmas Tree Shops!) which have just the right about of creme in them. Second best discovery of the Easter season.
posted by maryr at 10:05 AM on March 18, 2016 [3 favorites]


Mars Inc. today defended its significant investments in Consolidated Insulin Inc. as "part of a normal, healthy diversified portfolio".

Diabetes is a real disease. The IDF estimates that diabetes killed 4.9 million people in 2014.
posted by beerperson at 10:06 AM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


Can I get a Riesen spread? The standard bag size doesn't make me as ill as my nonexistant self-control would prefer.
posted by selfnoise at 10:06 AM on March 18, 2016 [3 favorites]


My kids can't eat peanut butter (allergy and metabolic issues). Nor does their school allow peanut butter in the building (one percent of little kids are allergic these days, which is several students in their small school.)

So I know we've been seeking peanut butter alternatives for a few years. Almond butter is good but not widely available. Sunflower seed butter is okay but not great. My kids didn't object but also didn't really eat it. Same with soy. (Nutella doesn't claim to be peanut free!) But the Biscoff cookie butter is a hit. I know it has a lot of sugar, but 1) so does most peanut butter and 2) they don't like jelly, so we're saving on sugar there.

Anyway, I feel like some of this market must be driven by demand from parents like me, seeking peanut butter alternatives.
posted by OnceUponATime at 10:08 AM on March 18, 2016 [2 favorites]


How is it possible that this isn't available in the US? Don't they know how much we love sugar?

If there were a US version, I'd expect it to use inferior chocolate and artificial sweeteners to lower calories.
posted by ZeusHumms at 10:17 AM on March 18, 2016 [2 favorites]


Sure, deep fry it and put it between two battered fish, and then you've got something!
posted by blue_beetle at 10:18 AM on March 18, 2016 [3 favorites]



Can I get a Riesen spread? The standard bag size doesn't make me as ill as my nonexistant self-control would prefer.


the whole point of Riesen is to force your rate-limiting step in sugar consumption to be the stamina/power output of your mandibular musculature

i liek veeeerry chewy candy for precisely this reason
posted by lalochezia at 10:21 AM on March 18, 2016 [7 favorites]


Dudes...

Piece of bread.
Four Hershey Kisses.
Arrange Kisses on bread, place flat in old-school toaster oven.
Toast.
Spread.
posted by Windopaene at 10:21 AM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


Mmm, you'll could also use those Special Dark minis..., never thought about that.

Must recalibrate.
posted by Windopaene at 10:23 AM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


We need this in America. Vote Democratic!
posted by monospace at 10:25 AM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


The last time I microwaved a Snickers, people took photos and thought I was eating shit.

At least I'm in good company with Justin Roiland.
posted by deadaluspark at 10:25 AM on March 18, 2016


duuuudes

just pulverize it in your KitchenAid and snort it, hits the bloodstream faster that way

insulin shockkkkkkk
posted by maryr at 10:26 AM on March 18, 2016 [2 favorites]


That looks disgustingly delicious.
posted by sour cream at 10:31 AM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


1. buy a giant bag of Halloween candy bars
2. carefully open one end of the bag
3. unwrap all the candy bars inside
4. place the candy bars back inside the bag
5. squeeze out the air and tie off the open end of the bag
6. sit on the bag for 4-6 hours, letting your body warmth melt the bag of chocolate bars into a warm semisolid gooey mass. you are a mother hen and this bag of shitty American chocolate is your egg baby and like Kronos you will devour your child
7. cut off one corner of the bag
8. squeeze the bag from the tied-off end down to the open corner to make warm candy bar ooze enter your mouth hole
9. feel good about yourself
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:34 AM on March 18, 2016 [21 favorites]


"How can we get people to put cake frosting on toast for breakfast?"

Just remove the toast and re-brand the cake frosting.

Potential Brand Names:
- Frost-Aid
- Lucky Harms
- No Fruit, No Loops, Just Icing
- Purple Stuff
- Cheeriohno!
- Pretty Much Crack
posted by Fizz at 10:36 AM on March 18, 2016 [4 favorites]


Shortcut: Buy some gummy bears (or worms) and leave them in the back of your car while you spend a sunny day at the beach. Now you have a refreshing energy drink for the ride home!
posted by maryr at 10:38 AM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


Flip it and reverse it. Tcho dark chocolate bar with spreadable bread for breakfast.

Still working on a name for spreadable bread. Doughulous? Doughtella?
posted by zippy at 10:39 AM on March 18, 2016 [3 favorites]


Sbread.
posted by valkane at 10:42 AM on March 18, 2016 [8 favorites]


May I take this opportunity to inquire about where a lady may purchase peanut butter twix? Not the new kind, but the discontinued biscuit kind. Because that shit was delicious and I miss it dearly.
posted by raztaj at 10:43 AM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


I've always enjoyed the Nutella marketing slogan "Less sugar than jam, less fat than peanut butter!". It's technically correct, which is the best kind of correct.
posted by zamboni at 10:52 AM on March 18, 2016 [15 favorites]


So, they've finally figured out what to do with the floor sweepings at the Twix factory?
posted by Thorzdad at 10:55 AM on March 18, 2016


I'm gonna eat so many fuckin' crumpets it's gonna be a goddamn crumpocalpse!
posted by sexyrobot at 10:57 AM on March 18, 2016 [4 favorites]


oh god i need this

and larger pants, gonna need those too
posted by palomar at 10:59 AM on March 18, 2016 [2 favorites]


hagelslag

EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT NOW
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 11:11 AM on March 18, 2016 [3 favorites]


"Crodough"? It's called a cronut, folks.

Cronut™ is a registered trademark of Dominique Ansel Bakery, so unless the pastry in question was made there, it can't legally be called a Cronut™.

I've seen these knockoffs called Crodoughs, Doissants, Doughssants, etc.
posted by zakur at 11:17 AM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT NOW

I bake bread, but I'm not very serious about it. On Presidents' Day I was home with toddlerozzy and she helped me bake some white bread that came out like marshmallow. Just beautiful, squishy, pillowy white bread. Imagine if Wonderbread had actual structure. No idea how it happened. Maybe the tiny hands forming the loaf. Who knows. But I know I'll never be able to do it again.

Anyway, we ate some with butter and hagelslag and it was juuuuust this side of transcendent.
posted by uncleozzy at 11:24 AM on March 18, 2016 [5 favorites]


To think my family mocked me as a child when I would mash any dessert into a spreadable paste. I was a trailblazer I tell you!

Cake? Spreadable. Profiterole? Spreadable. Pavlova? Spreadable. Millionaire's shortbread? SPREADABLE.
posted by lucidium at 11:26 AM on March 18, 2016 [2 favorites]


Entirely true story: When I lived in Germany for a year in the mid-80s, there was at the time thin chocolate wafers that were sold for the purpose of taking either a dark bread or a grey bread and smearing butter on the bread and putting chocolate on it and making a chocolate sandwich to have for morning snack during school.

It seemed bizarre to me, but yay chocolate sandwiches!
posted by hippybear at 11:28 AM on March 18, 2016 [3 favorites]


Dammit people I only just perfected my Nutella lava cookies! Stop coming out with gooey new things to include!
posted by Soliloquy at 11:56 AM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


I do spread quiche on buttered bread, and top with mayonnaise. So "spread it on bread" seems quite natural to me.
posted by alasdair at 12:00 PM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


The next innovation in sweet gooey snack technology needs to be the aerosol version, as has been done with cheese. No need for utensils!
posted by TedW at 12:01 PM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


No need for utensils!

Or you could, you know, just squeeze U-Bet right into your mouth. I mean, not that I would do that, of course. Just speaking hypothetically.
posted by uncleozzy at 12:12 PM on March 18, 2016 [3 favorites]


I am fully formed adult human male who will sneak into the kitchen, quietly pull open the utensil drawer, get my favorite spoon, slooooowly open the slightly creaky cabinet, lift and pull the Biscoff Spread into my pudgy arms, carefully (silently!) unscrew the lid, and lavish my mouth with thousands of calories of buttery, pulverized cookie. It is a tango of pleasure and shame that doesn't end until pleasure is fully spent and shame stands triumphant, mouth covered in spread.

Yeah I would like to try the Cadbury version, I guess.
posted by Tevin at 12:37 PM on March 18, 2016 [8 favorites]


Nutella does not step aside.
Nutella steps up.

Nutella* 4 Lyfe**

*) true for various European Nutella recipes... the US recipe seems weirdly off, too sweet and makes me feel ill if I have too much.

**) unless there is NussPli Nuss-Nougat-Creme. NussPli is the best.

posted by Hairy Lobster at 12:37 PM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


Hah! Target acquired: NussPli!!!
posted by Hairy Lobster at 12:39 PM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


When Nutella sleeps, it dreams it is Justin's Chocolate Hazelnut butter.
posted by AbnerRavenwood at 1:25 PM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


Nutella is the Beatles of spreads.
posted by colie at 1:35 PM on March 18, 2016 [3 favorites]


I need this inside me right now.
posted by reenum at 1:58 PM on March 18, 2016 [2 favorites]


Ikea sells something called Chokladkrokant Bredbar that is pretty tasty.
posted by peeedro at 2:07 PM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


Toast-related question: With regard to putting things on toast, I have a query that I'd like to put out to all my fellow MeFites.

I've always grown up putting butter and salt & pepper on my toast. I've been told by at least three different individuals that this is very "British" of me. So I guess I have two questions:

1. Is this an actual British food thing?
2. Am I the only person that does this?

Also, if you've never had toast this way. I suggest you do. It's quick and easy and super yummy.
posted by Fizz at 2:10 PM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


My parents would salt their cantaloupe and would sugar sliced tomatoes, and I have been led to believe that those were both habits they picked up while living in the UK for a few years in the 60s.
posted by hippybear at 2:16 PM on March 18, 2016 [2 favorites]


My parents would salt their cantaloupe and would sugar sliced tomatoes, and I have been led to believe that those were both habits they picked up while living in the UK for a few years in the 60s.

My parents both do this. My dad especially loves to put salt & pepper on papaya. Family is from India, might be a left-over remnant/habit from British Imperialism?
posted by Fizz at 2:19 PM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


I've always grown up putting butter and salt & pepper on my toast.

If you put that buttered-salted-peppered piece of toast between two thin slices of bread, it's called a Toast Sandwich, and of Victorian origin.
posted by zakur at 2:21 PM on March 18, 2016 [2 favorites]


Salt on cantaloupe sounds pretty close to salt on watermelon, which was pretty common in the American South when I grew up there.

Sugar on tomatoes is strange to me, but maybe it would have resulted in my liking sliced tomatoes (the texture is unpleasant to me, even though I'm fan of tomato sauces). A quick googling compares it to sugar and cream with peaches, which I am familiar with.

Salt and pepper on buttered toast is simply outside my experience.
posted by Four Ds at 2:28 PM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


What we need is a delicious spread that outlaws Easter before April First. Goddamn this holiday got here fast.
posted by notyou at 2:29 PM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


I certainly put butter on my bread/toast/roll first before putting Nutella on it because
Nutella
Butter
Bread
is far superior to just
Nutella
Bread
But what is best in life is:
Sesame-or-poppy-seed-sprinkled breadroll top
Butter
Nutella
More Nutella
Butter
Breadroll bottom
I will fight anyone who disagrees.

And salt & pepper with Nutella? No. Ew.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 2:30 PM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


Pepper and mayo on tomatoes can arrive any time of the year.
posted by notyou at 2:31 PM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


Pepper and mayo on...

Isn't pepper and mayo just a few steps away from being Ranch dressing?
posted by Fizz at 2:33 PM on March 18, 2016 [2 favorites]


In the way butter is a few steps away from cool whip, sure.
posted by notyou at 2:37 PM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


Touché.
posted by Fizz at 2:47 PM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


I wonder how George Costanza would react to this.

With my non-life-threatening-but-very-annoying peanut allergy, I have never learned the joys of Peanut Butter, and also cherish any candy bar with a 'crunch' that is not supplied by peanuts. For me, Twix is second only to KitKat for that sensory joy. BTW, there is now a Twix ice cream bar (among several Mars branded ice cream products), but it is less pleasurable, since the 'cookie' is in little balls scattered in the filling.

But Nutella used to be one of my greatest dietary sins... "it's like peanut butter - and it's chocolate!" I realized there was hope for my efforts to reduce my massive weight when I first looked at a jar of Nutella and went "meh". I still have an unopened 28 ounce jar (half of a two-pack from gluttony enabler Costco) on a shelf with a 2014 expiration date, just to help me feel proud.

Unfortunately, I'm still a little ga-ga for Trader Joe's Cookie Butter, which is, concurrently, one of the reasons I still occasionally shop there AND the main reason I consciously limit my trips there.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:19 PM on March 18, 2016 [2 favorites]


When I was a kid I wasn't allowed to eat much sugar nor eat between meals. I used to sneak those plastic tubs of Betty Crocker chocolate frosting out of the pantry and eat it by the spoonful. So delightful!
posted by bendy at 3:45 PM on March 18, 2016 [2 favorites]


I'm bored of this, I'm going for a Twix spread.
posted by aerotive at 4:56 PM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


TJ's Cookie Butter is the gold standard, but I'm surprised its gotten this far without mentioning that they also now sell Cookies & Creme Cookie Butter. It's basically Oreo paste.
posted by gatorae at 5:11 PM on March 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


Oh, come on now. That's just laziness, buying Oreo goo in a jar. Get a tub of Crisco and stir in a bag of confectioner's sugar like a normal person. Sheesh.
posted by Sys Rq at 5:37 PM on March 18, 2016 [3 favorites]


oneswellfoop, you need to visit the great white north and have yourself a Coffee Crisp. It's what Kit Kat wants to be when it grows up.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:41 PM on March 18, 2016 [4 favorites]


When I was a child, I really enjoyed eating raw cookie dough -- even the part without the chocolate chips. And obviously the egg does nothing for the flavor. Same for flour. I descended into madness for a few weeks that summer, sneaking into the kitchen for a spoonful of cold butter with a bunch of sugar mashed into it.
posted by Night_owl at 11:23 PM on March 18, 2016 [6 favorites]


“spread over warm toast or a crumpet, dunked with a breadstick, or topped on a cake or waffle”.

That's all well and good to the manor born to make grandiose plans to spread it on a wide variety of exotic biscuits, but I think we all know by now that anything resembling Nutella in my house is going nowhere but a spoon, whereby a jar constitutes a "meal."

What I'm saying is, I probably didn't need to know about this...
posted by krinklyfig at 11:57 PM on March 18, 2016 [2 favorites]


Oh feckless fecal fear mongering! Coffee Crisp bars are SO GREAT. You can occasionally find them at World Market (in the US) and I even found them at Harris Teeter (NC grocery store chain) in the "international" section!
posted by 41swans at 4:46 AM on March 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


Thanks to this discussion, I have procured Aldi-brand fake Nutella, which was recommended by people in the comments of the Kitchn review article. I have told myself that I will use it to fill hamantaschen. We'll see if it lasts that long. (And by that long, I mean until tomorrow night.)
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 4:59 AM on March 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


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