PSA: Dogs Hate Hugs
April 26, 2016 10:35 AM Subscribe
Dogs are technically cursorial animals, which is a term that indicates that they are designed for swift running. That implies that in times of stress or threat the first line of defense that a dog uses is not his teeth, but rather his ability to run away. Behaviorists believe that depriving a dog of that course of action by immobilizing him with a hug can increase his stress level and, if the dog's anxiety becomes significantly intense, he may bite.
I've got a facial scar that supports this hypothesis.
posted by little onion at 10:39 AM on April 26, 2016 [10 favorites]
posted by little onion at 10:39 AM on April 26, 2016 [10 favorites]
I'll stick to hugging cats, thx
posted by Kitteh at 10:39 AM on April 26, 2016 [11 favorites]
posted by Kitteh at 10:39 AM on April 26, 2016 [11 favorites]
Will hug for food
posted by museum of fire ants at 10:40 AM on April 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by museum of fire ants at 10:40 AM on April 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
Dogs are really cursory animals. I mean, come on God. If you wanted to design something rad, put glowing tentacles or jumpjets or something on that shit.
posted by selfnoise at 10:41 AM on April 26, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by selfnoise at 10:41 AM on April 26, 2016 [9 favorites]
When I come home after work my dog will pace and whine until I actually pick him up and hug him. When I say "hug?" he wraps his paws and head around my shoulders and clings. He's a hugger.
But yeah, if your dog's not a hugger it's pretty obvious.
posted by phunniemee at 10:41 AM on April 26, 2016 [42 favorites]
But yeah, if your dog's not a hugger it's pretty obvious.
posted by phunniemee at 10:41 AM on April 26, 2016 [42 favorites]
Humans are cursorial, too. The problem is a dog's feeling of stress or perception of threat, not hugging per se.
posted by clockzero at 10:41 AM on April 26, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by clockzero at 10:41 AM on April 26, 2016 [8 favorites]
I was surprised that a search of the scientific literature produced very little experimental evidence to support that belief. I did find two articles that showed that getting bitten on the face was much more likely if you were hugging or kissing a dog.
Uhh ok, so there's not a lot of data to support your position. The title "The Data Says 'Don't Hug the Dog!'" seems like a bit of a misnomer then.
posted by crazy with stars at 10:43 AM on April 26, 2016 [11 favorites]
Uhh ok, so there's not a lot of data to support your position. The title "The Data Says 'Don't Hug the Dog!'" seems like a bit of a misnomer then.
posted by crazy with stars at 10:43 AM on April 26, 2016 [11 favorites]
Hmm. I have to say, I'd find this more convincing if the list of 'stress' symptoms didn't seem to cover nearly every possible action. Eyes open and eyes shut are said to be signs of stress, head turned away from face and licking face are both said to be sign of stress, etc.
posted by tavella at 10:44 AM on April 26, 2016 [12 favorites]
posted by tavella at 10:44 AM on April 26, 2016 [12 favorites]
Tell it to my Chihuahua, man.
posted by tobascodagama at 10:46 AM on April 26, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by tobascodagama at 10:46 AM on April 26, 2016 [7 favorites]
Cats are also cursorial. That's why my cat always has this bug-eyed look whenever I pet him. But he's learned how to tolerate the giant stupid cats walking upright around his territory.
posted by Roentgen at 10:47 AM on April 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by Roentgen at 10:47 AM on April 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
I was at a house party last summer, and there was a dog in the first floor apartment who was being kept in the kitchen by a baby gate because he was an anxious dog who wouldn't have liked all the people around. One of the times I went to pass him to get up to the 2nd floor, I crouched down low and let him sniff me and I gave him a little pet.
Later in the day, I went by again and did the same thing. This time, however, one of his owners/friends was literally straddling him, and the dog snapped at me when I stopped to say hi. The owner/friend was all "He doesn't like people" and all I could think was "I bet he especially doesn't like being rendered completely immobile and forced to face them." It was so obvious and frustrating to me that the dog was super uncomfortable (I shouldn't have reached out but I thought maybe I could calm him, my bad for sure) before I even approached. Sigh.
My dog is a greyhound and unless you're a bunny or making a squeaky noise his ears are always plastered against his head. I *think* he enjoys hugs but I know for sure he likes leaning against my legs while I rub his ears, so we mostly stick to that.
posted by misskaz at 10:48 AM on April 26, 2016 [8 favorites]
Later in the day, I went by again and did the same thing. This time, however, one of his owners/friends was literally straddling him, and the dog snapped at me when I stopped to say hi. The owner/friend was all "He doesn't like people" and all I could think was "I bet he especially doesn't like being rendered completely immobile and forced to face them." It was so obvious and frustrating to me that the dog was super uncomfortable (I shouldn't have reached out but I thought maybe I could calm him, my bad for sure) before I even approached. Sigh.
My dog is a greyhound and unless you're a bunny or making a squeaky noise his ears are always plastered against his head. I *think* he enjoys hugs but I know for sure he likes leaning against my legs while I rub his ears, so we mostly stick to that.
posted by misskaz at 10:48 AM on April 26, 2016 [8 favorites]
Evolutionarily speaking, where's the research on turning your dog over on its back, patting its belly, and saying "Who's a good pupperdogger? Is it you? Oh yesh it is!"
'Cause one of my dogs likes that and the other doesn't. But she also doesn't like it when I do that to the one who does like it.
Anyhoo, some peer-reviewed research would do a world of good here.
posted by Cookiebastard at 10:49 AM on April 26, 2016 [32 favorites]
'Cause one of my dogs likes that and the other doesn't. But she also doesn't like it when I do that to the one who does like it.
Anyhoo, some peer-reviewed research would do a world of good here.
posted by Cookiebastard at 10:49 AM on April 26, 2016 [32 favorites]
You always hear a lot of "NEVER hug a dog" among animal shelter/rescue people, but that's because they're used to dealing with highly stressed dogs that aren't familiar, much less bonded, with them. It's certainly good for people to learn to recognize the body language of a stressed dog. But making it into a blanket rule and then getting moralistic about how people should never hug their lifelong, beloved pets is just another way to be awful and sanctimonious to people.
posted by RogerB at 10:50 AM on April 26, 2016 [79 favorites]
posted by RogerB at 10:50 AM on April 26, 2016 [79 favorites]
I only hug my cat when her attention-seeking gets a little too aggressive/annoying. "You want attention? HERE'S ALL THE ATTENTION!!!" She's never scratched me, but she does that thing cats do where they go to comical lengths to avoid eye contact and after twenty seconds or so she makes the "let me go or there will be...trouble" whimper/growl noise.
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:50 AM on April 26, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:50 AM on April 26, 2016 [8 favorites]
Most of my dogs have been leaners* rather than huggers, and I know them well enough to read their tension when they are hugged, though occasionally we take our chances.
*When I used to foster mastiffs, this was also dangerous, as a mastiff's version of "holding hands" is "standing on your foot, slowly shifting almost all their weight onto it, completely ignoring any signs of struggle".
But seriously, one of my girls is not a hugger and is not a kisser, and even making kissy faces leaning towards her is enough to make her lip twitch. Dogs protect their heads, and they defend with their heads. Be careful around dog heads.
posted by Lyn Never at 10:51 AM on April 26, 2016 [7 favorites]
*When I used to foster mastiffs, this was also dangerous, as a mastiff's version of "holding hands" is "standing on your foot, slowly shifting almost all their weight onto it, completely ignoring any signs of struggle".
But seriously, one of my girls is not a hugger and is not a kisser, and even making kissy faces leaning towards her is enough to make her lip twitch. Dogs protect their heads, and they defend with their heads. Be careful around dog heads.
posted by Lyn Never at 10:51 AM on April 26, 2016 [7 favorites]
I did find two articles that showed that getting bitten on the face was much more likely if you were hugging or kissing a dog.
So facial bites occur more often when a person's face is near a dog's mouth? Wow.
Anyway, My dog sometimes likes hugs and sometimes does not. When she doesn't want a hug, she doesn't get one. I follow the same policy with my wife. With both ladies, we have worked out signals. If I extend my arms and they want a hug, they can come on in. If my wife wants a hug, she either asks or does the arm thing. Since the dog doesn't have arms or a voice, she just pushed all 95 pounds of herself up against me until I give her what she wants. When she is done with the hugging, she walks away. It's not easy to continue hugging a dog that big while it is walking away.
You know how Temple Granding built that hugging machine to soothe cattle going to slaughter? I've thought about making the dog one because sometimes she just jams herself between the chair and ottoman because they are a tight squeeze and it makes her happy. I think there is more here than dogs not liking hugs.
posted by Seamus at 10:51 AM on April 26, 2016 [21 favorites]
So facial bites occur more often when a person's face is near a dog's mouth? Wow.
Anyway, My dog sometimes likes hugs and sometimes does not. When she doesn't want a hug, she doesn't get one. I follow the same policy with my wife. With both ladies, we have worked out signals. If I extend my arms and they want a hug, they can come on in. If my wife wants a hug, she either asks or does the arm thing. Since the dog doesn't have arms or a voice, she just pushed all 95 pounds of herself up against me until I give her what she wants. When she is done with the hugging, she walks away. It's not easy to continue hugging a dog that big while it is walking away.
You know how Temple Granding built that hugging machine to soothe cattle going to slaughter? I've thought about making the dog one because sometimes she just jams herself between the chair and ottoman because they are a tight squeeze and it makes her happy. I think there is more here than dogs not liking hugs.
posted by Seamus at 10:51 AM on April 26, 2016 [21 favorites]
Yeah, every dog is different, and it's a reading-body-language thing.
I tend to hang back from engaging with strange dogs unless they're giving pretty obvious "Hi! I just met you and I love you!" vibes (they strain towards me on a leash, tail wagging like gangbusters, ears perked up). It's also a sentimental sort of rush anyway ("aww, that dog is SUPER happy to see me!") and plus that increases the odds of your getting licked to death which is even more fun anyway.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:53 AM on April 26, 2016 [5 favorites]
I tend to hang back from engaging with strange dogs unless they're giving pretty obvious "Hi! I just met you and I love you!" vibes (they strain towards me on a leash, tail wagging like gangbusters, ears perked up). It's also a sentimental sort of rush anyway ("aww, that dog is SUPER happy to see me!") and plus that increases the odds of your getting licked to death which is even more fun anyway.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:53 AM on April 26, 2016 [5 favorites]
after twenty seconds or so she makes the "let me go or there will be...trouble" whimper/growl noise.
Sounds like you're just a step away from Cat Yodeling.
posted by radwolf76 at 10:53 AM on April 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
Sounds like you're just a step away from Cat Yodeling.
posted by radwolf76 at 10:53 AM on April 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
It is almost as if dogs are sentient beings with individual proclivities, preferences and neuroses.
posted by grumpybear69 at 10:54 AM on April 26, 2016 [60 favorites]
posted by grumpybear69 at 10:54 AM on April 26, 2016 [60 favorites]
They're not soulless meat machines?
posted by Seamus at 10:56 AM on April 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Seamus at 10:56 AM on April 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
So okay, this makes sense on the level the author describes, but I'm having some trouble unpacking it. I guess broadly stated my... not really an objection, just a "but what about" is the idea that the most important thing going on at that moment is an assessment of the ability to react to some imagined violent attack.
I mean humans also have a range of responses to a threat. I'm no expert on which comes where in the list, but the big ones would seem to be run away, as with dogs, or attack with punches or kicks. Both of those are pretty much out of the question during a good hug too. But according to the dog hugging child psychologist in the anecdote, humans' response is totally different. And it's not even that our conscious minds are capable of overriding our instinctive response to an unpleasant hug. It's that the response is diametrically opposed. We release oxytocin and feel all warm and happy. It's a definite positive.
So I guess that part I'm not sure about is, what's the difference there? Why is this same restriction of combat options, if that's what you want to call it a bad thing for dogs but actually a good thing for us?
posted by Naberius at 10:56 AM on April 26, 2016
I mean humans also have a range of responses to a threat. I'm no expert on which comes where in the list, but the big ones would seem to be run away, as with dogs, or attack with punches or kicks. Both of those are pretty much out of the question during a good hug too. But according to the dog hugging child psychologist in the anecdote, humans' response is totally different. And it's not even that our conscious minds are capable of overriding our instinctive response to an unpleasant hug. It's that the response is diametrically opposed. We release oxytocin and feel all warm and happy. It's a definite positive.
So I guess that part I'm not sure about is, what's the difference there? Why is this same restriction of combat options, if that's what you want to call it a bad thing for dogs but actually a good thing for us?
posted by Naberius at 10:56 AM on April 26, 2016
I can see my dogs being afraid of or stressed at being hugged by a stranger or even a friend. I have a photo of a friend hugging my huge basset and he looks simultaneously shocked, bewildered, and pissed. But as for us not hugging them? Bull. They definitely ask for hugs and they definitely get them. All day long if they want them. I mean, they eventually get bored with our attentions and move on to howling at cats or whatever else, but they like the occasional hug now and then. So maybe my dogs aren't really dogs? That seems highly unlikely.
posted by blucevalo at 10:56 AM on April 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by blucevalo at 10:56 AM on April 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
That's not true, my sweet Lucyface wuvs her hugz!
*squashes dog in arms, dog sighs and waits for it to be over*
posted by Elly Vortex at 10:57 AM on April 26, 2016 [13 favorites]
*squashes dog in arms, dog sighs and waits for it to be over*
posted by Elly Vortex at 10:57 AM on April 26, 2016 [13 favorites]
Some of the little dogs of my family like getting kisses so much they will climb on you and jam their heads in front of your mouth.
posted by Countess Elena at 10:59 AM on April 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by Countess Elena at 10:59 AM on April 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
Most of my dogs have been leaners* rather than huggers
I had that leaning explained to me once as pack herding behavior. I was slightly freaked out by my landlord's rottweiler pushing hard enough against the side of my legs that I almost tipped over, while both landlord and dog seemed quite happy about it. That's when my landlord said that wedging up tight in packs is a thing for that breed, so basically this dog pushes everyone he likes around.
posted by dlugoczaj at 11:01 AM on April 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
I had that leaning explained to me once as pack herding behavior. I was slightly freaked out by my landlord's rottweiler pushing hard enough against the side of my legs that I almost tipped over, while both landlord and dog seemed quite happy about it. That's when my landlord said that wedging up tight in packs is a thing for that breed, so basically this dog pushes everyone he likes around.
posted by dlugoczaj at 11:01 AM on April 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
My wonderful, Boston Terrier, Mickey LOVED to be hugged. RIP, buddy.
posted by terrapin at 11:03 AM on April 26, 2016 [17 favorites]
posted by terrapin at 11:03 AM on April 26, 2016 [17 favorites]
It's weird how people seem to need to make broad pronouncements like "you shouldn't hug dogs!" or whatever. I mean, it's just dumb.
I'm a vet's kid. Dogs and cats are as individual as people. You learn what the animal wants and needs, and the animal does some adjusting as well about how to relate to the giant bald friend and food source.
Some dogs really, really want to be held and cuddled. Some just want to be Near. You learn their body language, which is even MORE important than with people for the obvious reason that they don't have spoken language to go with it -- so it's mostly on the person to pay attention to do right by the animal.
One of our cats likes to be held, but only in one specific way, and only at her instigation. The other will pretty much start purring the minute you pick her up at least 9 times out of 10. The former is more about "near;" the latter is all about TOUCH ME ALL THE TIME.
posted by uberchet at 11:06 AM on April 26, 2016 [19 favorites]
I'm a vet's kid. Dogs and cats are as individual as people. You learn what the animal wants and needs, and the animal does some adjusting as well about how to relate to the giant bald friend and food source.
Some dogs really, really want to be held and cuddled. Some just want to be Near. You learn their body language, which is even MORE important than with people for the obvious reason that they don't have spoken language to go with it -- so it's mostly on the person to pay attention to do right by the animal.
One of our cats likes to be held, but only in one specific way, and only at her instigation. The other will pretty much start purring the minute you pick her up at least 9 times out of 10. The former is more about "near;" the latter is all about TOUCH ME ALL THE TIME.
posted by uberchet at 11:06 AM on April 26, 2016 [19 favorites]
I love all these dog stress sign photos I see online because our dog is doing all of them, all the time, because she's an anxious little monster.
posted by griphus at 11:06 AM on April 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by griphus at 11:06 AM on April 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
This is covered quite throughly in Patricia McConnell's 2002 dog behavior classic The Other End of the Leash.
She talks about hugging, or drawing things close to your chest, being a primate behavior, which makes sense since our arms are much more capable of that motion than many other mammals.
My husband and I often sing-song "Dogs don't like hugs" while giving our dogs solicited pats and belly rubs. I agree somewhat with "not all dogs" of course, because one of our dogs likes hug-like things, on her own terms. She tucks herself into your open legs and arms and curls around until her nose touches her tail while you cuddle and praise her.
But as a general rule for teaching to children, and dogs under stress, and dogs you don't know - don't hug them.
posted by Squeak Attack at 11:07 AM on April 26, 2016 [7 favorites]
She talks about hugging, or drawing things close to your chest, being a primate behavior, which makes sense since our arms are much more capable of that motion than many other mammals.
My husband and I often sing-song "Dogs don't like hugs" while giving our dogs solicited pats and belly rubs. I agree somewhat with "not all dogs" of course, because one of our dogs likes hug-like things, on her own terms. She tucks herself into your open legs and arms and curls around until her nose touches her tail while you cuddle and praise her.
But as a general rule for teaching to children, and dogs under stress, and dogs you don't know - don't hug them.
posted by Squeak Attack at 11:07 AM on April 26, 2016 [7 favorites]
I think the general pet owner dog hugging situations we're all thinking about are pretty different than the "i'm hugging my squirmy dog for this photo and it's trying to get away but i'm holding it still for a cute shot" situation that a lot of dog photos tend to be. And tbh I think the author is kind of a moron for not factoring that in.
posted by poffin boffin at 11:08 AM on April 26, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 11:08 AM on April 26, 2016 [7 favorites]
But as a general rule for teaching to children, and dogs under stress, and dogs you don't know - don't hug them.
A few years back someone was walking with a bunch of kids and a little girl broke away from the pack to RUN to my dog and immediately hug her. Like, there would've been nothing I could do if my dog decided to just tear into her at that moment because this four year old kid just bolted over and embraced this dog she had never seen before.
Mom didn't say anything and I wasn't about to tell a lady how to raise her kids, in front of her kids, so I hope she taught them not to do that anymore.
Fortunately, the dog just gave her regular response when a person is about to do something she doesn't like, which is stay perfectly still until it goes away.
posted by griphus at 11:10 AM on April 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
A few years back someone was walking with a bunch of kids and a little girl broke away from the pack to RUN to my dog and immediately hug her. Like, there would've been nothing I could do if my dog decided to just tear into her at that moment because this four year old kid just bolted over and embraced this dog she had never seen before.
Mom didn't say anything and I wasn't about to tell a lady how to raise her kids, in front of her kids, so I hope she taught them not to do that anymore.
Fortunately, the dog just gave her regular response when a person is about to do something she doesn't like, which is stay perfectly still until it goes away.
posted by griphus at 11:10 AM on April 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
Our dog doesn't even like it when I throw an arm over her the nights I let her sleep in the bed, so definitely no hugs for her. She's probably a bit of a special case, though.
posted by backseatpilot at 11:12 AM on April 26, 2016
posted by backseatpilot at 11:12 AM on April 26, 2016
Ctrl-F cat
11 matches
Catsplaining in a dog thread. Typical. [/hamburger]
posted by Ogre Lawless at 11:17 AM on April 26, 2016 [38 favorites]
11 matches
Catsplaining in a dog thread. Typical. [/hamburger]
posted by Ogre Lawless at 11:17 AM on April 26, 2016 [38 favorites]
One of my dogs is a therapy dog with Human Animal Bond in Tennessee (HABIT). Before HABIT will certify a dog, they test the dog's reaction to being hugged. Apparently the hug test disqualifies a lot of dogs.
posted by workerant at 11:17 AM on April 26, 2016 [19 favorites]
posted by workerant at 11:17 AM on April 26, 2016 [19 favorites]
Yes, I had foster dogs for a few years and would take them to Petsmart for adoption events, and mostly the children were very polite but we had a few gallop right up and grab the foster dogs around the head and neck. I was always terrified by this and very glad when those people didn't try to adopt a dog.
The worst was the mom who let her kids grab my 50 pound foster dog, Meli, and hug her, while Meli rolled her eyes gingerly tried to back the fuck away. The mom also wanted to know if I thought her tiny elfin 5 year old could walk Meli, which I strongly discouraged (are you high, lady?) and then they decided against her (as she hid behind my legs) since she wasn't "very friendly." Ya think?
posted by Squeak Attack at 11:17 AM on April 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
The worst was the mom who let her kids grab my 50 pound foster dog, Meli, and hug her, while Meli rolled her eyes gingerly tried to back the fuck away. The mom also wanted to know if I thought her tiny elfin 5 year old could walk Meli, which I strongly discouraged (are you high, lady?) and then they decided against her (as she hid behind my legs) since she wasn't "very friendly." Ya think?
posted by Squeak Attack at 11:17 AM on April 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
Catsplaining is when you don't bother to explain something because the idiot wouldn't get it anyway.
posted by The Bellman at 11:18 AM on April 26, 2016 [31 favorites]
posted by The Bellman at 11:18 AM on April 26, 2016 [31 favorites]
Things my dog loves:
Hugs
Things my dog hates:
Getting her picture taken (I don't know how she knows, but she DOES)
If I was hugging her while posed for a photo, I'm sure it would look like she hated the hug, because she would have tried to pull away as soon as that camera or cell phone came out and pointed toward her.
posted by sallybrown at 11:19 AM on April 26, 2016 [5 favorites]
Hugs
Things my dog hates:
Getting her picture taken (I don't know how she knows, but she DOES)
If I was hugging her while posed for a photo, I'm sure it would look like she hated the hug, because she would have tried to pull away as soon as that camera or cell phone came out and pointed toward her.
posted by sallybrown at 11:19 AM on April 26, 2016 [5 favorites]
I don't think there's anything wrong with teaching folks that dogs don't innately love hugs, and that a dog who enjoys your hugs means good things about your relationship with that dog, but don't assume they're gonna like it. My short dude gets a little whale-eyed when people loom over him, and although he's mostly good with people, it's just an added bit of dog stress, and why subject a dog to that if you don't have to?
posted by redsparkler at 11:21 AM on April 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by redsparkler at 11:21 AM on April 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
Oh gods, my late puppy had a sixth sense about cameras. I could browse Metafilter all day but as soon as I brought up the camera app she'd disappear.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 11:23 AM on April 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 11:23 AM on April 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
My pupper is anti-custodial and pro-entropy. He will pick up toys from his pen and distribute them throughout the house in a random fashion.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 11:24 AM on April 26, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by a lungful of dragon at 11:24 AM on April 26, 2016 [7 favorites]
I know multiple dogs who don't particularly enjoy hugs, but they are willing to endure them because it brings the human face within PRIME LICKING RADIUS, IMMA LICK YOUR FACE, YOUR EARS, YOUR NECK, YOUR NOSE, THE INSIDE OF YOUR MOUTH, HA HA WHO LIKES HUGS NOW SLURP SLURP
posted by a fiendish thingy at 11:24 AM on April 26, 2016 [46 favorites]
posted by a fiendish thingy at 11:24 AM on April 26, 2016 [46 favorites]
"Ma, I don't get out of this dog bed for less than 10,000 Milkbones a day. Don't you know that by now?!"
posted by sallybrown at 11:25 AM on April 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by sallybrown at 11:25 AM on April 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
Maybe the dogs don't want to hug Stanley Coren, PhD., DSc., FRSC.
It really does depend on the dog. My Annie is all about the hugs. You sit on the floor, tap your chest, and say ANNIE HUG and she will put her paws on your shoulders, lean in, and bring on the smooches. She won't do it if she's around strangers, or anxious, or she wants to play, but when we're just hanging out and relaxing, she'll do it every time. It's awfully nice. But she's super affectionate: In the morning, she'll curl up in my arms like a teddy bear. She's done that since she was a puppy.
My folks' Westie gets as stiff as a board if you so much as pick him up, so it's strictly ear scritching and bellyrubs on the floor, and that's OK!
posted by mochapickle at 11:26 AM on April 26, 2016 [6 favorites]
It really does depend on the dog. My Annie is all about the hugs. You sit on the floor, tap your chest, and say ANNIE HUG and she will put her paws on your shoulders, lean in, and bring on the smooches. She won't do it if she's around strangers, or anxious, or she wants to play, but when we're just hanging out and relaxing, she'll do it every time. It's awfully nice. But she's super affectionate: In the morning, she'll curl up in my arms like a teddy bear. She's done that since she was a puppy.
My folks' Westie gets as stiff as a board if you so much as pick him up, so it's strictly ear scritching and bellyrubs on the floor, and that's OK!
posted by mochapickle at 11:26 AM on April 26, 2016 [6 favorites]
Dogs don't want to get hugged by strangers. No surprise, me neither.
I think the amount to which a dog enjoys that kind of contact with perceived pack members varies by dog.
posted by lumpenprole at 11:28 AM on April 26, 2016 [13 favorites]
I think the amount to which a dog enjoys that kind of contact with perceived pack members varies by dog.
posted by lumpenprole at 11:28 AM on April 26, 2016 [13 favorites]
My schmoo is perfectly happy to snuggle in a crevice between your legs, armpit or back and will lick through your nostril into your brain cavity. Also, perfectly happy to be held in your arms or lay spread eagle across your lap for a good belly rub for hours. Full on hugs, not so much.
posted by Sophie1 at 11:28 AM on April 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Sophie1 at 11:28 AM on April 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
I did find two articles that showed that getting bitten on the face was much more likely if you were hugging or kissing a dog.
Omg, for real? Sigh. I'm really the last person to say this, but this is shit science and a waste of effort. Bad scientists! No research grant!
posted by sexyrobot at 11:30 AM on April 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
Omg, for real? Sigh. I'm really the last person to say this, but this is shit science and a waste of effort. Bad scientists! No research grant!
posted by sexyrobot at 11:30 AM on April 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
I read this, so I tried to start observing my dog more.
I noticed that most of the time I hugged my husband, she pushed her snout under my arm and shoved her head through, until I/we was/were hugging her, too. Sometimes, it's prep for face-licking, but sometimes she just gets into our arms and rests.
So, I'll watch her, but I'm not going to overthink it either.
Also, moon eyes are something she does even during our (reward only) training sessions. It might be stress (as in, she's thinking about making sure she does the right thing to get treats) but I don't think it's distress.
posted by Kurichina at 11:32 AM on April 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
I noticed that most of the time I hugged my husband, she pushed her snout under my arm and shoved her head through, until I/we was/were hugging her, too. Sometimes, it's prep for face-licking, but sometimes she just gets into our arms and rests.
So, I'll watch her, but I'm not going to overthink it either.
Also, moon eyes are something she does even during our (reward only) training sessions. It might be stress (as in, she's thinking about making sure she does the right thing to get treats) but I don't think it's distress.
posted by Kurichina at 11:32 AM on April 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
Helpful (and adorable) poster guide to dog body language. Looking away and licking can be a stress response, yes.
posted by emjaybee at 11:44 AM on April 26, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by emjaybee at 11:44 AM on April 26, 2016 [6 favorites]
Sometimes, I think so much about how good and wonderful dogs are, I just sit there and start tearing up a bit. Oh, dogs: they really are just good and wonderful, you know?
Like my little dog, Zelda. She's good and wonderful. She doesn't like hugging that much, because she would much rather play than sit still. But at night, in bed, she comes and pushes her way under the blankies to curl up beside me. Throughout the night, she slowly uncurls, until ultimately I'm a big spoon and she's a little spoon, her head curled up on my arm. If she and I wake up at the same time, we'll stay a few extra minutes curled up, groggy and snuggling. I love that little dog.
All dogs. I love all dogs. Especially my little dog, but all dogs? Oh man, they're all so good and wonderful.
posted by meese at 11:46 AM on April 26, 2016 [37 favorites]
Like my little dog, Zelda. She's good and wonderful. She doesn't like hugging that much, because she would much rather play than sit still. But at night, in bed, she comes and pushes her way under the blankies to curl up beside me. Throughout the night, she slowly uncurls, until ultimately I'm a big spoon and she's a little spoon, her head curled up on my arm. If she and I wake up at the same time, we'll stay a few extra minutes curled up, groggy and snuggling. I love that little dog.
All dogs. I love all dogs. Especially my little dog, but all dogs? Oh man, they're all so good and wonderful.
posted by meese at 11:46 AM on April 26, 2016 [37 favorites]
sexyrobot, the next lines of the article after the one you quoted is "However, the authors of both studies seemed to suggest that the proximity of the person's face to the dog's mouth was the most important factor, rather than something like the hug itself. For that reason, I decided to collect some data on this issue." I don't think this is a funded study.
Stanley Coren had a dog-behaviour show on Canadian tv which was really great and has a fun dog intelligence test in one of his books. The only part I remember now is to hide a treat under a towel and see what the dog does. Smart = digs under towel. Dumb = YOU ARE MAJIC AND MAKE TREAT DISSAPEAR MAKE COME BACK
It's funny this article came up because I was commenting to my husband about the ability to read dog behaviour just this morning. My lovely in-laws were over and patting and hugging my dog in a way that obviously made him uncomfortable. But for two people who are very skilled with dogs and who have their own well trained one, they didn't seem to notice that he wasn't enjoying himself. In fact, he even growled at one of them because they were too close to his face. I think the difference was my dog has very expressive ears and face while theirs is a dog-dog who communicates mostly with her tail. My dog makes it really easy to pick up on the smaller facial cues whereas theirs doesn't. But if you're not used to reading the face of a dog, you don't even think to look for it.
I've also noticed it's hard for me to get a picture of him I like enough to post online because I can read that he's not happy or stressed from his face. Looking at pictures of him stressed makes me sad. So I don't know if other people can't tell their dogs are unhappy or don't care.
posted by hydrobatidae at 11:55 AM on April 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
Stanley Coren had a dog-behaviour show on Canadian tv which was really great and has a fun dog intelligence test in one of his books. The only part I remember now is to hide a treat under a towel and see what the dog does. Smart = digs under towel. Dumb = YOU ARE MAJIC AND MAKE TREAT DISSAPEAR MAKE COME BACK
It's funny this article came up because I was commenting to my husband about the ability to read dog behaviour just this morning. My lovely in-laws were over and patting and hugging my dog in a way that obviously made him uncomfortable. But for two people who are very skilled with dogs and who have their own well trained one, they didn't seem to notice that he wasn't enjoying himself. In fact, he even growled at one of them because they were too close to his face. I think the difference was my dog has very expressive ears and face while theirs is a dog-dog who communicates mostly with her tail. My dog makes it really easy to pick up on the smaller facial cues whereas theirs doesn't. But if you're not used to reading the face of a dog, you don't even think to look for it.
I've also noticed it's hard for me to get a picture of him I like enough to post online because I can read that he's not happy or stressed from his face. Looking at pictures of him stressed makes me sad. So I don't know if other people can't tell their dogs are unhappy or don't care.
posted by hydrobatidae at 11:55 AM on April 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
I have a dog who really enjoys being hugged. But only by certain people in certain circumstances. She will initiate, and she'll melt right into you, but she needs at least a couple of minutes 'getting to know you' time first. I cannot predict what she might do if a stranger hug-bombed her.
I have another dog who doesn't care for being hugged, but is a saint I tell you, so she tolerates it graciously. I have a constant nagging guilt that I never trained her as a therapy dog. She just has this deep innate sense for how to interact appropriately and respectfully with every living creature except for grasshoppers, so if you want to hug, she'll hug.
Universals are always wrong.
HOWEVER, I'm all for telling people "Dogs don't like hugs." If your personal dog enjoys them, you know that. If you're good at reading dogs, you'll recognize the exceptions. But as a general rule of thumb, I'm all for "Dogs Hate Hugs" PSAs because there are a lot of people who either don't know much about dog behaviors, or who generalize their dogs' behaviors onto random strange dogs out there, and wow, they really make me nervous.
I used to have a pretty big dog (around 85 pounds) who looked a lot like a dog from a children's movie, so he attracted a lot of little kids who'd run up and call him movie-dog's name (I got in an extremely productive argument with a four year old about that once), and try to hug and kiss him. I'd always stop them when I saw them coming, but once, a stealth baby attached herself to his ass on a walk somehow, startling pretty much everyone. Me, my dog, and especially her parents. He was pretty great about it, but man, that could have very easily gone very wrong.
So I do what I can to bombproof my dogs. I try to get them used to hugging and various other intrusive handling in hopes that, if someone hurls themselves at them or startles them, they won't lash out. (And so they can be good at the vet. A dog who doesn't tolerate strangers messing around with them can't get the same quality vet care that a more tolerant dog does.)
But I do wish people in general would be a little more careful and a little more respectful of their personal space. And don't argue with me that it's OK when I'm asking you to back off my dog. It's ridiculous how many people do that.
posted by ernielundquist at 11:57 AM on April 26, 2016 [17 favorites]
I have another dog who doesn't care for being hugged, but is a saint I tell you, so she tolerates it graciously. I have a constant nagging guilt that I never trained her as a therapy dog. She just has this deep innate sense for how to interact appropriately and respectfully with every living creature except for grasshoppers, so if you want to hug, she'll hug.
Universals are always wrong.
HOWEVER, I'm all for telling people "Dogs don't like hugs." If your personal dog enjoys them, you know that. If you're good at reading dogs, you'll recognize the exceptions. But as a general rule of thumb, I'm all for "Dogs Hate Hugs" PSAs because there are a lot of people who either don't know much about dog behaviors, or who generalize their dogs' behaviors onto random strange dogs out there, and wow, they really make me nervous.
I used to have a pretty big dog (around 85 pounds) who looked a lot like a dog from a children's movie, so he attracted a lot of little kids who'd run up and call him movie-dog's name (I got in an extremely productive argument with a four year old about that once), and try to hug and kiss him. I'd always stop them when I saw them coming, but once, a stealth baby attached herself to his ass on a walk somehow, startling pretty much everyone. Me, my dog, and especially her parents. He was pretty great about it, but man, that could have very easily gone very wrong.
So I do what I can to bombproof my dogs. I try to get them used to hugging and various other intrusive handling in hopes that, if someone hurls themselves at them or startles them, they won't lash out. (And so they can be good at the vet. A dog who doesn't tolerate strangers messing around with them can't get the same quality vet care that a more tolerant dog does.)
But I do wish people in general would be a little more careful and a little more respectful of their personal space. And don't argue with me that it's OK when I'm asking you to back off my dog. It's ridiculous how many people do that.
posted by ernielundquist at 11:57 AM on April 26, 2016 [17 favorites]
Yeah, every dog is different, and it's a reading-body-language thing.
I didn't grow up with dogs, so Bishop has been my teacher about a lot of dog behavior. But Bishop is a ridiculous and loving sweetheart so I sometimes I learn the wrong thing.
I realized that I needed to learn more about how to read dogs-that-aren't-mine when I met a sweet seeming pittie (who was with his humans, who aren't mean pitbull type owners), who was fine with all the scritches I could give but scared the crap out of me with the warning bark he gave when I leaned in to let him kiss me like Bishop usually likes to. It's not like I got right into his face or anything -- but definitely moved my face closer to his, which is an action that Bishop loves, but in hindsight seems so obviously threatening that I should have known better (which is what I told his horrified humans).
So, I can get away with corporally cuddling Bishop (as well as our cats), but I wouldn't try to pull that with a dog I didn't know.
My general rule with dogs I don't know is to be inviting, but let them initiate any action. It works for me because I don't have to interact with any dogs that don't choose to interact with me -- vets, groomers, animal trainers and the like though, do need to learn and understand general dog behaviour and I'm glad stuff like this is getting researched.
posted by sparklemotion at 12:06 PM on April 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
I didn't grow up with dogs, so Bishop has been my teacher about a lot of dog behavior. But Bishop is a ridiculous and loving sweetheart so I sometimes I learn the wrong thing.
I realized that I needed to learn more about how to read dogs-that-aren't-mine when I met a sweet seeming pittie (who was with his humans, who aren't mean pitbull type owners), who was fine with all the scritches I could give but scared the crap out of me with the warning bark he gave when I leaned in to let him kiss me like Bishop usually likes to. It's not like I got right into his face or anything -- but definitely moved my face closer to his, which is an action that Bishop loves, but in hindsight seems so obviously threatening that I should have known better (which is what I told his horrified humans).
So, I can get away with corporally cuddling Bishop (as well as our cats), but I wouldn't try to pull that with a dog I didn't know.
My general rule with dogs I don't know is to be inviting, but let them initiate any action. It works for me because I don't have to interact with any dogs that don't choose to interact with me -- vets, groomers, animal trainers and the like though, do need to learn and understand general dog behaviour and I'm glad stuff like this is getting researched.
posted by sparklemotion at 12:06 PM on April 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
I struggle a lot with all the stuff not-dog-smart people do to my dog. He's trained to ignore children doing bad stuff, but the other day, he growled at a specially annoying child, and I felt really helpless. He certainly doesn't like strangers hugging him. Today has been a bad day, but now he is finally sleeping on the floor next to me (because he really wants to be next to me after all the stressful stuff, and not in the next room on his bed).
But when we are driving just the two of us, he sits next to me, and he will paw me restlessly until I give in and put my arm around him. Not a simple thing when your car has a gear shift. After a while, he'll lie down with his head in my lap and we will be happy.
posted by mumimor at 12:06 PM on April 26, 2016 [5 favorites]
But when we are driving just the two of us, he sits next to me, and he will paw me restlessly until I give in and put my arm around him. Not a simple thing when your car has a gear shift. After a while, he'll lie down with his head in my lap and we will be happy.
posted by mumimor at 12:06 PM on April 26, 2016 [5 favorites]
The only part I remember now is to hide a treat under a towel and see what the dog does. Smart = digs under towel. Dumb = YOU ARE MAJIC AND MAKE TREAT DISSAPEAR MAKE COME BACK
Never a wrong time to link Allie Brosh (Hyperbole and a Half)'s Dog, the story of intelligence-testing a truly special dog.
posted by praemunire at 12:10 PM on April 26, 2016 [15 favorites]
Never a wrong time to link Allie Brosh (Hyperbole and a Half)'s Dog, the story of intelligence-testing a truly special dog.
posted by praemunire at 12:10 PM on April 26, 2016 [15 favorites]
But as a general rule of thumb, I'm all for "Dogs Hate Hugs" PSAs because there are a lot of people who either don't know much about dog behaviors, or who generalize their dogs' behaviors onto random strange dogs out there, and wow, they really make me nervous.
I agree. When you have a nervous, reactive dog, sometimes it seems like going outside is running an obstacle course of morons who are actively trying to get themselves bitten. Go about your business, fine. But stop flinging yourself at unknown dogs! Little kids, okay, don't know any better (and I have no compunctions about telling them gently but firmly that they need to be careful, because would they like it if a strange person just came up to them and grabbed them?), but adults? Do you not value your intact faces? What's up with that???
posted by praemunire at 12:18 PM on April 26, 2016 [8 favorites]
I agree. When you have a nervous, reactive dog, sometimes it seems like going outside is running an obstacle course of morons who are actively trying to get themselves bitten. Go about your business, fine. But stop flinging yourself at unknown dogs! Little kids, okay, don't know any better (and I have no compunctions about telling them gently but firmly that they need to be careful, because would they like it if a strange person just came up to them and grabbed them?), but adults? Do you not value your intact faces? What's up with that???
posted by praemunire at 12:18 PM on April 26, 2016 [8 favorites]
We had a black lab that was a magnet for little kids. Walk him around at any gathering and they'd swarm him. I've seen toddlers pile on him, hang off his head and he just soaked it up. With me his greatest thrill wasn't the hug, just laying beside me on the couch with that big head in my lap. His second greatest thrill was farting.
Now we've got a rescued corgi/pom who is a head case, took him a year to realize he was a dog and to develop that joy that most dogs have. He likes a hug or two but then has to retreat back to his corner of the couch. Last summer my wife got this chihuahua rescue and she's a bottomless suckhole of NEED. Damn thing will crawl up on you until her chin is resting on your shoulder and then will fall asleep. And then the farts begin.
posted by Ber at 12:27 PM on April 26, 2016 [9 favorites]
Now we've got a rescued corgi/pom who is a head case, took him a year to realize he was a dog and to develop that joy that most dogs have. He likes a hug or two but then has to retreat back to his corner of the couch. Last summer my wife got this chihuahua rescue and she's a bottomless suckhole of NEED. Damn thing will crawl up on you until her chin is resting on your shoulder and then will fall asleep. And then the farts begin.
posted by Ber at 12:27 PM on April 26, 2016 [9 favorites]
I do think kids should be taught "don't hug dogs" as an across-the-board rule. Even including their own, because yes a lot of dogs know who "their" kids are and have the patience of one of the better saints with them, but all it takes is one slightly-changed variable to turn No Big Deal into Nightly News at 9.
Kids aren't great at nuance. They may not notice when a dog is hurt, when it's on high alert because of a sound or smell, when they are overdoing it, what a "normal" circumstance is versus not. Or that there's a difference between the dog they live with and a dog on the street or in a friend's house.
Adults have a right to risk-assess for themselves and so can decide to take their chances and apply their superior expertise, but I don't think kids should be given much gray area on this.
posted by Lyn Never at 12:38 PM on April 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
Kids aren't great at nuance. They may not notice when a dog is hurt, when it's on high alert because of a sound or smell, when they are overdoing it, what a "normal" circumstance is versus not. Or that there's a difference between the dog they live with and a dog on the street or in a friend's house.
Adults have a right to risk-assess for themselves and so can decide to take their chances and apply their superior expertise, but I don't think kids should be given much gray area on this.
posted by Lyn Never at 12:38 PM on April 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
A little upthread, emjaybee linked to a delightful infographic on dog body language. That graphic was drawn by the fantastic Lili Chin and she has reserved some rights with it, so I thought I'd add a link to her work.
posted by workerant at 12:38 PM on April 26, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by workerant at 12:38 PM on April 26, 2016 [8 favorites]
he growled at a specially annoying child, and I felt really helpless
And this is bad why? He was telling you he was uncomfortable. Your job is to maintain distance between him and what stresses him out. Growling is a gift of valuable information, not something to feel "helpless" about. I assume you are able to remove your dog from a situation that is bothering him? Then you're not helpless.
posted by biscotti at 12:39 PM on April 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
And this is bad why? He was telling you he was uncomfortable. Your job is to maintain distance between him and what stresses him out. Growling is a gift of valuable information, not something to feel "helpless" about. I assume you are able to remove your dog from a situation that is bothering him? Then you're not helpless.
posted by biscotti at 12:39 PM on April 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
We have dogs in small, medium, and large varieties.
Large Dog likes to present the belly for rubbing and mooshy mooshy talk, and when he is laying quietly enjoys being petted, but if you try to hug him, he tolerates it for a short time and then walks away with a "that's enough" attitude.
Medium Dog is a head case. She bounces most Tigger-like, and won't sit still for hugging. She is very affectionate, but on her terms. When she is calm, she will lay down in your lap or nearby and enjoy being petted, but she never goes for hugging.
Small Dog is a cuddle bug. He will leap into your lap, often from a great distance, and settle into your arms like he owns them.
posted by Billiken at 12:50 PM on April 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
Large Dog likes to present the belly for rubbing and mooshy mooshy talk, and when he is laying quietly enjoys being petted, but if you try to hug him, he tolerates it for a short time and then walks away with a "that's enough" attitude.
Medium Dog is a head case. She bounces most Tigger-like, and won't sit still for hugging. She is very affectionate, but on her terms. When she is calm, she will lay down in your lap or nearby and enjoy being petted, but she never goes for hugging.
Small Dog is a cuddle bug. He will leap into your lap, often from a great distance, and settle into your arms like he owns them.
posted by Billiken at 12:50 PM on April 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
My dog is a Jack Russell Terrier; they like to dig for varmints. He likes to get under me and dig his way out, preferably ending by licking my face thoroughly, which is Not Allowed. Anyway, people often mistake dogs for stuffed animals, and have no clue about how to behave with them. My dog is little, so they think he's good around little kids, where I think he's freaked out by little kids and try to separate them. Some day he'll snatch his tennis ball from a kid's hand and graze a finger and there will be hell to pay.
posted by theora55 at 12:56 PM on April 26, 2016
posted by theora55 at 12:56 PM on April 26, 2016
My own dog really dislikes hugging, too. We trade: she lets me hug her, and I let her lick my face with her disgusting frantic tongue. Hugging her makes my monkey brain happy, and licking my face soothes her neurotic anxiety, to the point that most of her objections to being hugged center around me not letting her lick me more effectively.
But I really like articles like this, because there are so many people who seem to think of dogs as basically animatronic stuffed animals if they're being cute. Tribble likes adult people fine and will visibly light up and start wiggling if she notices someone who has loved on her in the past, but she gets freaked out by toddlers and would prefer they leave her alone--and she's pretty clearly easily bored by strangers, which is sometimes a social problem for me when my friends are cooing "LOOK AT THE PUPPY I LOVE YOU PUPPY" and my actual dog is going "ooh hey there's a neat smell here--ugh, this person is getting up in my face and I have THINGS TO DO." Unfortunately people's expectations about what dogs like--as opposed to what dogs tolerate--can make this kind of awkward for me as a dog owner.
The way I negotiate this is basically expecting my dogs to live up to a similar level of social discomfort and put up with a similar level of rude behavior as I do. If I wouldn't appreciate a stranger running up to me without warning and hugging me, I don't expect my dog to put up with that shit. I don't expect my dog to approach strange dogs on leash when we see them. (No, I don't want to let our dogs meet even if it would be cute, dude; my dog isn't herself reactive, but her tolerance for rude behavior from other dogs has gone down the shitter since she turned four years old, and she really hates all dogs with beards because three terriers yelled at her a couple of years ago. It isn't worth it for your photo op; leave me alone.) I do expect my dog to put up with rude strangers until I can intervene. I expect my dog to put up with people loving on her, within reason, when they're people I socialize with. I expect her to put up with my hugs, and I expect her to deal with the odd cat licking her ears and the occasional shrieking toddler until I can intervene.
Basically, just because I know what my dog likes out of her social obligation doesn't mean that I'm always going to structure our social interactions to cater to her desires and not mine, just like I'm not going to structure them to always cater to mine and not hers. Instead, I'm using that information to figure out an acceptable middle ground for both of us. Works way better for all of us.
posted by sciatrix at 12:57 PM on April 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
But I really like articles like this, because there are so many people who seem to think of dogs as basically animatronic stuffed animals if they're being cute. Tribble likes adult people fine and will visibly light up and start wiggling if she notices someone who has loved on her in the past, but she gets freaked out by toddlers and would prefer they leave her alone--and she's pretty clearly easily bored by strangers, which is sometimes a social problem for me when my friends are cooing "LOOK AT THE PUPPY I LOVE YOU PUPPY" and my actual dog is going "ooh hey there's a neat smell here--ugh, this person is getting up in my face and I have THINGS TO DO." Unfortunately people's expectations about what dogs like--as opposed to what dogs tolerate--can make this kind of awkward for me as a dog owner.
The way I negotiate this is basically expecting my dogs to live up to a similar level of social discomfort and put up with a similar level of rude behavior as I do. If I wouldn't appreciate a stranger running up to me without warning and hugging me, I don't expect my dog to put up with that shit. I don't expect my dog to approach strange dogs on leash when we see them. (No, I don't want to let our dogs meet even if it would be cute, dude; my dog isn't herself reactive, but her tolerance for rude behavior from other dogs has gone down the shitter since she turned four years old, and she really hates all dogs with beards because three terriers yelled at her a couple of years ago. It isn't worth it for your photo op; leave me alone.) I do expect my dog to put up with rude strangers until I can intervene. I expect my dog to put up with people loving on her, within reason, when they're people I socialize with. I expect her to put up with my hugs, and I expect her to deal with the odd cat licking her ears and the occasional shrieking toddler until I can intervene.
Basically, just because I know what my dog likes out of her social obligation doesn't mean that I'm always going to structure our social interactions to cater to her desires and not mine, just like I'm not going to structure them to always cater to mine and not hers. Instead, I'm using that information to figure out an acceptable middle ground for both of us. Works way better for all of us.
posted by sciatrix at 12:57 PM on April 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
On the internet nobody knows if you are a dog.
Until you self disclose on a message board. Then everybody knows you are a dog because you don't like hugs.
posted by srboisvert at 1:41 PM on April 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
Until you self disclose on a message board. Then everybody knows you are a dog because you don't like hugs.
posted by srboisvert at 1:41 PM on April 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
Tell it to my Chihuahua, man.
Seriously. Our Chihuahua mix is a hug-seeking missile. In fact, she *gives* unsolicited hugs (one little popsicle-stick leg on either side of the neck, with her cheek pressed against her human's cheek) several times a day, every day.
Though, to be fair, she's the only dog I've ever known who's like that.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 1:47 PM on April 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
Seriously. Our Chihuahua mix is a hug-seeking missile. In fact, she *gives* unsolicited hugs (one little popsicle-stick leg on either side of the neck, with her cheek pressed against her human's cheek) several times a day, every day.
Though, to be fair, she's the only dog I've ever known who's like that.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 1:47 PM on April 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
...and she's pretty clearly easily bored by strangers, which is sometimes a social problem for me when my friends are cooing "LOOK AT THE PUPPY I LOVE YOU PUPPY" and my actual dog is going "ooh hey there's a neat smell here--ugh, this person is getting up in my face and I have THINGS TO DO."
Can we trade either guests or dogs bc ours will immediately cuddle up REAL CLOSE to any and all human beings , stranger or not, and then start Being A Dog and guests often don't tend to be fond of that.
posted by griphus at 1:48 PM on April 26, 2016
Can we trade either guests or dogs bc ours will immediately cuddle up REAL CLOSE to any and all human beings , stranger or not, and then start Being A Dog and guests often don't tend to be fond of that.
posted by griphus at 1:48 PM on April 26, 2016
The term I use with kids that really seems to work is "shy." I was walking my dogs a few evenings ago and some very nice little boys called out from behind a chain link fence, "Hey! Can we pet your dogs?"
So I walked them over, and our big male leaned into the fence and made googly eyes at the kids and licked little hands. Our little female sniffed politely and then walked away a few steps. The kids asked, "Can we pet that one too?" but made very understanding noises when I said, "Sorry, she's very shy."
It helped that they were behind a fence, but that's my general approach - "This one loves people, that one is shy." And I'll step in people's way if they approach her.
posted by Squeak Attack at 1:50 PM on April 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
So I walked them over, and our big male leaned into the fence and made googly eyes at the kids and licked little hands. Our little female sniffed politely and then walked away a few steps. The kids asked, "Can we pet that one too?" but made very understanding noises when I said, "Sorry, she's very shy."
It helped that they were behind a fence, but that's my general approach - "This one loves people, that one is shy." And I'll step in people's way if they approach her.
posted by Squeak Attack at 1:50 PM on April 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
My Catahoola is sensitive about his shoulder holster, so.
posted by clavdivs at 1:50 PM on April 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by clavdivs at 1:50 PM on April 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
I go through phases of wanting a dog and remembering how much I hate dealing with dog poop and vet visits. They are pretty great, though. I wouldn't mind having another one someday.
I never was a dog-hugger, they aren't really built for it (well except the really fat ones, who tend to be extra cranky or asthmatic so aren't enjoying it either). Dogs are designed to sit next to you and get the backs of their ears scritched, forever. With maybe an extra scritch down to the tail.
I don't know how people balance little kids and dogs; little kids are pretty terrible to dogs, and an upset dog can do a lot of damage to a little kid. When my son was small I also didn't have much emotional energy left for a dog.
I get profoundly nervous when people post pics of their babies/toddlers sleeping on their giant dogs. I mean, I love dogs, a lot, but they are not always in total control of themselves and can get scared or startled into doing something that could really hurt a kid that small. Also quite possibly the dog is not enjoying being made into a Facebook Moment so you can prove how safe/devoted it is.
posted by emjaybee at 1:50 PM on April 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
I never was a dog-hugger, they aren't really built for it (well except the really fat ones, who tend to be extra cranky or asthmatic so aren't enjoying it either). Dogs are designed to sit next to you and get the backs of their ears scritched, forever. With maybe an extra scritch down to the tail.
I don't know how people balance little kids and dogs; little kids are pretty terrible to dogs, and an upset dog can do a lot of damage to a little kid. When my son was small I also didn't have much emotional energy left for a dog.
I get profoundly nervous when people post pics of their babies/toddlers sleeping on their giant dogs. I mean, I love dogs, a lot, but they are not always in total control of themselves and can get scared or startled into doing something that could really hurt a kid that small. Also quite possibly the dog is not enjoying being made into a Facebook Moment so you can prove how safe/devoted it is.
posted by emjaybee at 1:50 PM on April 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
Can we trade either guests or dogs bc ours will immediately cuddle up REAL CLOSE to any and all human beings , stranger or not, and then start Being A Dog and guests often don't tend to be fond of that.
Oh, to be clear, she's like that when she runs into strangers when we've gone somewhere public she hasn't been a million times. Someone in our house, she's all novelty and will totally climb into people's laps or slowly knock them down onto their backs (at thirty pounds!) in her fervent desire to lick their faces.
She does respond well to being told to go to her crate for five minutes when she's annoying guests, though, which is a great trait in a dog. I've never had one before her who loved her crate so much.
posted by sciatrix at 1:56 PM on April 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
Oh, to be clear, she's like that when she runs into strangers when we've gone somewhere public she hasn't been a million times. Someone in our house, she's all novelty and will totally climb into people's laps or slowly knock them down onto their backs (at thirty pounds!) in her fervent desire to lick their faces.
She does respond well to being told to go to her crate for five minutes when she's annoying guests, though, which is a great trait in a dog. I've never had one before her who loved her crate so much.
posted by sciatrix at 1:56 PM on April 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
My dog is also a hypocrite because she gets really mad at the kitten for licking her ears but she will forcibly pin down both cats so she can clean theirs, up to and including sucking yeast infections out of the tomcat's ear canal.
It is exactly as gross as it sounds.
posted by sciatrix at 1:59 PM on April 26, 2016 [11 favorites]
It is exactly as gross as it sounds.
posted by sciatrix at 1:59 PM on April 26, 2016 [11 favorites]
I have 3 small very cute dogs that kids LOVE and always want to approach, but one is nearly blind, one is ok with strangers, and one is an unpredictable (to me, hes young and we havent had him that long) maniac. I also use 'shy' as a description, and tell the kids it's better if they just say hello. It's tough, there is nothing about my dogs that says 'threatening', but they could do serious damage to small fingers/faces.
At home they are all hug fiends though. My youngest one will climb over my shoulders and force me to hold him if my lap's already occupied. It's ridiculous. He also begs to be picked up, then will tuck his tiny head under my chin and just relax.
posted by Fig at 2:24 PM on April 26, 2016
At home they are all hug fiends though. My youngest one will climb over my shoulders and force me to hold him if my lap's already occupied. It's ridiculous. He also begs to be picked up, then will tuck his tiny head under my chin and just relax.
posted by Fig at 2:24 PM on April 26, 2016
Until you self disclose on a message board. Then everybody knows you are a dog because you don't like hugs.
This is why you never see dogs posting on MetaTalk.
posted by ambrosen at 2:27 PM on April 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
This is why you never see dogs posting on MetaTalk.
posted by ambrosen at 2:27 PM on April 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
Growling is a gift of valuable information, not something to feel "helpless" about. I assume you are able to remove your dog from a situation that is bothering him? Then you're not helpless.
I was certainly not helpless in the particular situation, I had a good talk with the boy who stuck a finger in my dog's nose. But this was yet a reminder that I cannot bring my dog shopping (which he really enjoys), because for every 20 old ladies who engage mindfully with him when he is sitting outside aldi, there is one kid who crosses his boundaries. I am realizing I just can't train him out of reacting when people do really stupid stuff. God knows I work on it.
My pup looks, and is a very friendly and bouncy dog. However, he is a dog, not a toy. I need him to be a guard dog, which doesn't make it easier - though obviously it means I train him more than you would with some other dogs. But working dogs are the shit
posted by mumimor at 2:32 PM on April 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
I was certainly not helpless in the particular situation, I had a good talk with the boy who stuck a finger in my dog's nose. But this was yet a reminder that I cannot bring my dog shopping (which he really enjoys), because for every 20 old ladies who engage mindfully with him when he is sitting outside aldi, there is one kid who crosses his boundaries. I am realizing I just can't train him out of reacting when people do really stupid stuff. God knows I work on it.
My pup looks, and is a very friendly and bouncy dog. However, he is a dog, not a toy. I need him to be a guard dog, which doesn't make it easier - though obviously it means I train him more than you would with some other dogs. But working dogs are the shit
posted by mumimor at 2:32 PM on April 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
My Catahoola is sensitive about his shoulder holster, so.I don't know what that means, specifically, but please allow me to keep my mental image of your dog as a hard-boiled private eye carrying a pistol under one of his front legs.
I get profoundly nervous when people post pics of their babies/toddlers sleeping on their giant dogs.People say this, but here's the thing: to a first approximation, big housedogs are better mannered than little ones, because behavior that's merely annoying in a 5 or 10 pound pup is downright dangerous in a 30 or 40 pound dog.
People who have (e.g.) labs or mastiffs or whatever as companion dogs in the house with small children have usually spent the time with the dogs -- often from a very young age -- to socialize them and teach them how to behave.
And not for nothing, but it's super common for dogs -- especially bigger ones -- to basically "adopt" children as weird bald puppies. The baby climbing all over the mastiff is not in danger, but you, a stranger, might be if you approach that puppy's baby too quickly.
posted by uberchet at 2:41 PM on April 26, 2016 [10 favorites]
big housedogs are better mannered than little ones
That has certainly been my experience. My SIL has a Havanese that is an absolute horror to be around, in a way that no large dog I've met has ever been.
posted by grumpybear69 at 3:08 PM on April 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
That has certainly been my experience. My SIL has a Havanese that is an absolute horror to be around, in a way that no large dog I've met has ever been.
posted by grumpybear69 at 3:08 PM on April 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
These comments are more helpful when you link to pictures of your dog and/or hugging your dog.
I am just saying.
posted by mochapickle at 3:10 PM on April 26, 2016 [10 favorites]
I am just saying.
posted by mochapickle at 3:10 PM on April 26, 2016 [10 favorites]
This reads like an Onion article and I hope no one wasted taxpayer money in this drivel. An unhinged toddler chasing down and pinning a dog to the ground in a bear hug is not the same thing as me embracing my 150# mastiff when he comes over after breakfast to smear remnants of his breakfast all over my bathrobe.
posted by docpops at 3:12 PM on April 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by docpops at 3:12 PM on April 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
Our office Havanese likes to give hugs; if she likes you and hasn't seen you in a while, she'll get up on her hind legs and wrap her forlegs around your calf and hang on (no, there's no humping motion involved, just a hug).
Other times, she likes to press her head and neck against your leg as you're petting her.
posted by porpoise at 3:16 PM on April 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
Other times, she likes to press her head and neck against your leg as you're petting her.
posted by porpoise at 3:16 PM on April 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
This is why you never see dogs posting on MetaTalk.
I thought it was just because we humans can't read the dog whistle threads.
posted by maryr at 3:22 PM on April 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
I thought it was just because we humans can't read the dog whistle threads.
posted by maryr at 3:22 PM on April 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
Here's a pic of my dogs on a walk tonight.. I can't blame kids for wanting to hug and pet them. From left: Oldest & Mellowest (Figlet); Blind (Lindy); Young & Crazy (Taco)
posted by Fig at 4:20 PM on April 26, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by Fig at 4:20 PM on April 26, 2016 [9 favorites]
Well, if people are asking....
Pilar - shy with strangers, suspicious of men wearing hats, likes to be hugged by certain humans, assumes the form of a cheese doodle (nose to tail) to indicate hugging time.
Shaggy - loves people, needs lots of attention, leans on everyone, likes to lie right next to me, really hates hugs.
posted by Squeak Attack at 4:41 PM on April 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
Pilar - shy with strangers, suspicious of men wearing hats, likes to be hugged by certain humans, assumes the form of a cheese doodle (nose to tail) to indicate hugging time.
Shaggy - loves people, needs lots of attention, leans on everyone, likes to lie right next to me, really hates hugs.
posted by Squeak Attack at 4:41 PM on April 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
Zelda! I'm not very good at taking pictures, but her cuteness is immutable.
posted by meese at 4:50 PM on April 26, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by meese at 4:50 PM on April 26, 2016 [6 favorites]
they are designed for swift running
Ahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha! Snerk, glrb, ahahahahahahhaahahaha! Sorry, omg.....okay, um...... I apologize for not reading alll the comments before posting, but my extremely doofy, extremely large, golden-pyrenees mix begs to differ on swift/running/hugs statement...... He will squash you against the nearest firm surface if you are not being properly "huggy" enough with him...... he will not be denied hugs by dinner-prep, taxes, homework, or arms full of groceries........also he is, at most, a casual loper - even when a bunny invades the yard. (I realize I am violating the pic rule - but I don't have easy access right now - just imagine a 140 lb oversized, stubborn, fluffy golden retriever forcing snuggles on adults and children alike)
posted by Gyre,Gimble,Wabe, Esq. at 5:09 PM on April 26, 2016 [7 favorites]
Ahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha! Snerk, glrb, ahahahahahahhaahahaha! Sorry, omg.....okay, um...... I apologize for not reading alll the comments before posting, but my extremely doofy, extremely large, golden-pyrenees mix begs to differ on swift/running/hugs statement...... He will squash you against the nearest firm surface if you are not being properly "huggy" enough with him...... he will not be denied hugs by dinner-prep, taxes, homework, or arms full of groceries........also he is, at most, a casual loper - even when a bunny invades the yard. (I realize I am violating the pic rule - but I don't have easy access right now - just imagine a 140 lb oversized, stubborn, fluffy golden retriever forcing snuggles on adults and children alike)
posted by Gyre,Gimble,Wabe, Esq. at 5:09 PM on April 26, 2016 [7 favorites]
If I squat down or sit on the steps then Charles will come sit between my legs facing the same direction as me [example] and try to lick and prompt the petting. If I attempt to huggle her - in this position or any other - she becomes a squirmy torque machine in attempt to escape.
posted by komara at 5:32 PM on April 26, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by komara at 5:32 PM on April 26, 2016 [5 favorites]
When we brought our dog home from the humane society, I read a bunch of books about dog behavior and training because I hadn't grown up with dogs as pets. One book had a section that has always stuck with me about how dogs don't like ventral contact but primates do, exactly the point this article makes.
It stuck with me precisely because it turned out to be completely incorrect for our dog, though it is no doubt great advice for interacting with a strange dog. If you are a person the dog decides he likes, he will join you on the couch and either lean into you until you provide the mandatory hugs, or just plain climb into your lap as if he was a tiny lap dog.
Children seem to have a boundless need to run up and hug dogs, so luckily he tolerates impositions from children that he would never allow from adults. I wish more parents would teach their kids to not grab onto strange dogs, but the reality is that many kids are going to do so, given the opportunity. I was mostly exposed to mean dogs as a kid, so I have never had that level of trust with strange dogs, but most kids don't seem to have any caution at all.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:48 PM on April 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
It stuck with me precisely because it turned out to be completely incorrect for our dog, though it is no doubt great advice for interacting with a strange dog. If you are a person the dog decides he likes, he will join you on the couch and either lean into you until you provide the mandatory hugs, or just plain climb into your lap as if he was a tiny lap dog.
Children seem to have a boundless need to run up and hug dogs, so luckily he tolerates impositions from children that he would never allow from adults. I wish more parents would teach their kids to not grab onto strange dogs, but the reality is that many kids are going to do so, given the opportunity. I was mostly exposed to mean dogs as a kid, so I have never had that level of trust with strange dogs, but most kids don't seem to have any caution at all.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:48 PM on April 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
>>My Catahoola is sensitive about his shoulder holster, so.
>I don't know what that means, specifically,
>posted by uberchet
Catahoula Leopard Dogs are curs from the southern US. I only know a few Catahoulas. To put this in perspective...
My therapy dog is my easy dog. I found her starving on a backcountry hiking trail; she's a retired full-time bear hunting dog who lived rough, still forages for food and would sell me into a life of infamy for a chance to kill and eat a duck. She happens to like children, and she's a sucker for belly rubs.
My hard dog is a 24-pound black-and-white shelter mutt that I optimistically decided was a Border Collie-and-something-sneaky mix (Border Collies being among the very smartest breeds). Oh no, I just got her DNA test back, she's mostly Russell Terrier (smart, cagey and fierce), with Australian Shepherd (smart, cagey and heeling herders) and a touch of Boston Terrier and Malamute (so how did that happen?)
I spend a lot of time reading about canine cognition. I read The Bark and Whole Dog Journal and I run around with dog trainers and police bloodhound handlers and Serious Dog People.
And I am not sure I am an adequate guardian for a Catahoula Leopard Dog.
posted by workerant at 7:09 PM on April 26, 2016 [5 favorites]
>I don't know what that means, specifically,
>posted by uberchet
Catahoula Leopard Dogs are curs from the southern US. I only know a few Catahoulas. To put this in perspective...
My therapy dog is my easy dog. I found her starving on a backcountry hiking trail; she's a retired full-time bear hunting dog who lived rough, still forages for food and would sell me into a life of infamy for a chance to kill and eat a duck. She happens to like children, and she's a sucker for belly rubs.
My hard dog is a 24-pound black-and-white shelter mutt that I optimistically decided was a Border Collie-and-something-sneaky mix (Border Collies being among the very smartest breeds). Oh no, I just got her DNA test back, she's mostly Russell Terrier (smart, cagey and fierce), with Australian Shepherd (smart, cagey and heeling herders) and a touch of Boston Terrier and Malamute (so how did that happen?)
I spend a lot of time reading about canine cognition. I read The Bark and Whole Dog Journal and I run around with dog trainers and police bloodhound handlers and Serious Dog People.
And I am not sure I am an adequate guardian for a Catahoula Leopard Dog.
posted by workerant at 7:09 PM on April 26, 2016 [5 favorites]
My dog pretty much views any attention at all as a plus, no matter what form it comes in. I'll straddle him & "sit" on his back (don't really put weight on him) while applying vigorous scratches to his head region, and he's fine with that. When he gets in front of me, which he does on the regular, I'll grab him, turn him sideways & pull him up against my legs, throw one arm around his shoulders, then apply the back scritches. He makes the greatest vocal noises when he gets the sacred back scratch.
Other than tug-of-war, his favorite game is "can't tackle me," in which I attempt to prove him wrong by tackling him. He runs close past me, then zigs when I attempt to descend on him. This can go on until we're both out of breath, or my knees & elbows can't take any more tackles. He's very good at wriggling loose when I do tackle him, but that's part of the game, as he always turns to face me, tail wagging, while he waits for me to struggle up off the floor.
One thing he does not like though, is if I try to lie down next to him when he's resting. Even if I just toss an arm over him, He'll invariably get up & go somewhere else after a few seconds. I don't know why that in particular make him uncomfortable when nothing else does.
The only person he's ever snapped at was a 7-year old friend of my son's that he'd never met & who was running full-tilt through the house & shrieking at the top of her lungs. I wanted to snap at her too. Little girl shrieks are stressful.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:26 PM on April 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
Other than tug-of-war, his favorite game is "can't tackle me," in which I attempt to prove him wrong by tackling him. He runs close past me, then zigs when I attempt to descend on him. This can go on until we're both out of breath, or my knees & elbows can't take any more tackles. He's very good at wriggling loose when I do tackle him, but that's part of the game, as he always turns to face me, tail wagging, while he waits for me to struggle up off the floor.
One thing he does not like though, is if I try to lie down next to him when he's resting. Even if I just toss an arm over him, He'll invariably get up & go somewhere else after a few seconds. I don't know why that in particular make him uncomfortable when nothing else does.
The only person he's ever snapped at was a 7-year old friend of my son's that he'd never met & who was running full-tilt through the house & shrieking at the top of her lungs. I wanted to snap at her too. Little girl shrieks are stressful.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:26 PM on April 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
I am realizing I just can't train him out of reacting when people do really stupid stuff.
The point being that growling is a good reaction because it lets you know in no uncertain terms that he's feeling stressed and/or unhappy. You can certainly get a dog not to growl; what you get then isn't a dog that doesn't feel stress, it's a dog that doesn't let you know how stressed he is until he's pushed to the point of biting.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:43 PM on April 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
The point being that growling is a good reaction because it lets you know in no uncertain terms that he's feeling stressed and/or unhappy. You can certainly get a dog not to growl; what you get then isn't a dog that doesn't feel stress, it's a dog that doesn't let you know how stressed he is until he's pushed to the point of biting.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:43 PM on April 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
Poppy has earned the nickname Facehugger and will happily provide compensation hugs to the unembraced.
posted by Fantods at 7:50 PM on April 26, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by Fantods at 7:50 PM on April 26, 2016 [5 favorites]
My dogs tolerate my loose gentle hugs, but the don't love them. My Willow mutt ADORES my husband, though. She's climb up on him, and nuzzle his face & chest and armpits. She ends by trying to hump him, though. O.o
Dogs are weird. I'd really hate to live without them.
posted by Archer25 at 7:54 PM on April 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
Dogs are weird. I'd really hate to live without them.
posted by Archer25 at 7:54 PM on April 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
I just did an experiment on my dog who was sleeping with me. Totally okay with the hugging, for a long time while I read all the comments, UNTIL my daughter came in and then he wanted to be sitting up and alert.
So I wonder if the stress in the photos is partially because of the photographer.
posted by corb at 8:06 PM on April 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
So I wonder if the stress in the photos is partially because of the photographer.
posted by corb at 8:06 PM on April 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
Wait, I thought they made dog-shirts that squeeze the dog to prevent anxiety in thunderstorms?
posted by ryanrs at 8:18 PM on April 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by ryanrs at 8:18 PM on April 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
squirmy torque machine
Also the name of Trent Reznor's skinny puppy.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 9:33 PM on April 26, 2016 [7 favorites]
Also the name of Trent Reznor's skinny puppy.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 9:33 PM on April 26, 2016 [7 favorites]
I volunteer with shelter dogs that are recently rescued and they look sooooo sad and upset sometimes you really want to hug them-it's instinctual. Yet I have to remind myself that no, they don't want that. But if you let them, some of them will climb on your lap (it's hilarious when big dogs do that like a baby) and sometimes they will just lean into you for comfort, but the key is you always let them initiate it. But soooo hard not to hug a sad-looking distraught dog.
posted by GospelofWesleyWillis at 12:34 AM on April 27, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by GospelofWesleyWillis at 12:34 AM on April 27, 2016 [3 favorites]
Wait, I thought they made dog-shirts that squeeze the dog to prevent anxiety in thunderstorms?
They do; they're called Thundershirts and supposedly they work. I think it's based on Temple Grandin's principle of swaddling an animal for anxiety relief. I think the hugging thing may have to do with having a large human tower over them and smothering them. At SPCA, we're taught never to loom over or tower over a dog; it's probably a hard-wired response to a larger-animal predatory-ish gesture. You're supposed to bend down to their level.
posted by GospelofWesleyWillis at 12:37 AM on April 27, 2016 [4 favorites]
They do; they're called Thundershirts and supposedly they work. I think it's based on Temple Grandin's principle of swaddling an animal for anxiety relief. I think the hugging thing may have to do with having a large human tower over them and smothering them. At SPCA, we're taught never to loom over or tower over a dog; it's probably a hard-wired response to a larger-animal predatory-ish gesture. You're supposed to bend down to their level.
posted by GospelofWesleyWillis at 12:37 AM on April 27, 2016 [4 favorites]
Our dogs aren't keen on hugging but will tolerate it from us and small children. I think they think the bald puppies deserve some leeway. And anything short of an actual arms-around hug they love.
We praise to the skies the children who ask before patting our dogs. "How lovely of you to ask! Yes you can, our dogs are friendly! Not all dogs like strangers, but ours do! Look at their happy wagging tails!". I hope this doesn't sound like bragging to them, we're trying to help create the knowledge that every dog is different and needs to be approached differently. And we also praise the parents for teaching their kids the right way to approach a dog they don't know.
The Patricia McConnell book mentioned earlier is gold. Knowing the differences between primates and canines is so useful, and she's so realistic about theory vs practice. If you love dogs I highlyrecommend you grab a copy.
posted by harriet vane at 6:01 AM on April 27, 2016
We praise to the skies the children who ask before patting our dogs. "How lovely of you to ask! Yes you can, our dogs are friendly! Not all dogs like strangers, but ours do! Look at their happy wagging tails!". I hope this doesn't sound like bragging to them, we're trying to help create the knowledge that every dog is different and needs to be approached differently. And we also praise the parents for teaching their kids the right way to approach a dog they don't know.
The Patricia McConnell book mentioned earlier is gold. Knowing the differences between primates and canines is so useful, and she's so realistic about theory vs practice. If you love dogs I highlyrecommend you grab a copy.
posted by harriet vane at 6:01 AM on April 27, 2016
Hugs? In our house, the research question has been: do dogs make good fur hats? Here's the whole experimental setup. (So far our findings have been: yes, but surprisingly, not as good as chickens, which require less external support.)
Wilson is not a huggy dog, and he usually prefers playing to cuddles anyway - except early in the morning, when it's definitely snuggling time. But ever since I started giving him regular dog massages (yes I'm that poodle owner), he's become demonstrably cuddlier, not just with me but everyone. As in, my family members asked me about how snuggly he's suddenly become with them before they knew about the massages. It's really interesting, since there's been no difference in how they handle him. He just seems more into all kinds of cuddles now (although hugs he still only tolerates).
posted by sively at 6:38 AM on April 27, 2016 [6 favorites]
Wilson is not a huggy dog, and he usually prefers playing to cuddles anyway - except early in the morning, when it's definitely snuggling time. But ever since I started giving him regular dog massages (yes I'm that poodle owner), he's become demonstrably cuddlier, not just with me but everyone. As in, my family members asked me about how snuggly he's suddenly become with them before they knew about the massages. It's really interesting, since there's been no difference in how they handle him. He just seems more into all kinds of cuddles now (although hugs he still only tolerates).
posted by sively at 6:38 AM on April 27, 2016 [6 favorites]
HI WILSON HOW ARE YOU I AM FINE
posted by redsparkler at 9:36 AM on April 27, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by redsparkler at 9:36 AM on April 27, 2016 [3 favorites]
Talk about Pavlovian response -- that picture of Wilson causes my treat-giving hand to extend towards the computer screen almost involuntarily.
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:27 AM on April 27, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:27 AM on April 27, 2016 [6 favorites]
okay I gotta ask - does this make you want to give pets? Because this is what I have to deal with every morning as I put my shoes on and it's a continual distraction.
Maybe I should just hug her every time she looks at me like that.
posted by komara at 11:51 AM on April 27, 2016 [5 favorites]
Maybe I should just hug her every time she looks at me like that.
posted by komara at 11:51 AM on April 27, 2016 [5 favorites]
Oh man, my dog stares at me, too. Just waiting for thing X to happen, whatever it may be. It's unnerving, sometimes. But yeah, I'd pet that dog.
posted by Devils Rancher at 11:56 AM on April 27, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Devils Rancher at 11:56 AM on April 27, 2016 [2 favorites]
Because I get up much earlier than anyone else, I don't bother to close the bathroom door in the morning. And my dog looks at me like that when I'm on the loo. Unnerving.
posted by mumimor at 12:08 PM on April 27, 2016
posted by mumimor at 12:08 PM on April 27, 2016
My dog is scared shitless of the bathroom. He's never been traumatized so I don't know what the deal is -- he will sneak by it with his head down if the door is open, as far away as he can get, along the opposite wall. Averts his eyes. I can't lure him in there with any variety of puppy treat, either. He just paces outside the door & loudly freaks out when I try to call him into the bathroom for a treat. He's kinda neurotic.
I've mentioned it here before, but he's also scared shitless of the plumbing access door behind the tub that's on our bedroom wall. Will not even look at it. Runs from the room if I try to open it in his presence.
posted by Devils Rancher at 12:15 PM on April 27, 2016 [2 favorites]
I've mentioned it here before, but he's also scared shitless of the plumbing access door behind the tub that's on our bedroom wall. Will not even look at it. Runs from the room if I try to open it in his presence.
posted by Devils Rancher at 12:15 PM on April 27, 2016 [2 favorites]
My dog is scared shitless of the bathroom. He's never been traumatized so I don't know what the deal is
In dog the definition of "traumatized" includes "bathed" I am pretty sure, so this is kinda yucky
posted by phearlez at 12:20 PM on April 27, 2016 [1 favorite]
In dog the definition of "traumatized" includes "bathed" I am pretty sure, so this is kinda yucky
posted by phearlez at 12:20 PM on April 27, 2016 [1 favorite]
My Hounds are quite affectionate beasties. Zoe, an American Pit Bull Terrier, is quite fond of plopping on laps and leaning hard up against the plop-ee. She will also wrap her paws around your neck and smoosh.
Rocky is a Boxer/Shepherd/Husky mix. He also freely gives and accepts hugs, but he's much more gentle about it than his sister. He will sit next to you and press his head against your chest and up under your chin. If you throw your arms around him, he will gently kiss your face.
Both dogs are very attentive to small children. Zoe, like many of her kind, will attach herself to the nearest kid and act as child minder. She puts herself between children and the stairs, children and the gate, children and the firepit. Rocky prefers leading walks with the kids, they hold his harness and they mosey around the yard. Both are happy to accept hugs from the little ones. I suspect this has a lot to do with the fact that the little ones always slip them treats.
I've only ever had one dog in my life that wasn't a snugglebutt. It was also the only small dog I have ever had - a toy collie mix. All the rest of my pups have been Labs, Pibbles, and the like, and they've all lived for the snuggles.
posted by MissySedai at 12:30 PM on April 27, 2016 [4 favorites]
Rocky is a Boxer/Shepherd/Husky mix. He also freely gives and accepts hugs, but he's much more gentle about it than his sister. He will sit next to you and press his head against your chest and up under your chin. If you throw your arms around him, he will gently kiss your face.
Both dogs are very attentive to small children. Zoe, like many of her kind, will attach herself to the nearest kid and act as child minder. She puts herself between children and the stairs, children and the gate, children and the firepit. Rocky prefers leading walks with the kids, they hold his harness and they mosey around the yard. Both are happy to accept hugs from the little ones. I suspect this has a lot to do with the fact that the little ones always slip them treats.
I've only ever had one dog in my life that wasn't a snugglebutt. It was also the only small dog I have ever had - a toy collie mix. All the rest of my pups have been Labs, Pibbles, and the like, and they've all lived for the snuggles.
posted by MissySedai at 12:30 PM on April 27, 2016 [4 favorites]
The dog pictures are the best!
posted by mochapickle at 12:41 PM on April 27, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by mochapickle at 12:41 PM on April 27, 2016 [1 favorite]
In dog the definition of "traumatized" includes "bathed" I am pretty sure, so this is kinda yucky
He's a shorthair, & he's never been bathed, other than a wallow in the creek, or a bit of a spray from the hose outside, or the occasional rag down his back. He has never, ever been IN that bathroom. He's just a weirdo.
posted by Devils Rancher at 1:00 PM on April 27, 2016 [3 favorites]
He's a shorthair, & he's never been bathed, other than a wallow in the creek, or a bit of a spray from the hose outside, or the occasional rag down his back. He has never, ever been IN that bathroom. He's just a weirdo.
posted by Devils Rancher at 1:00 PM on April 27, 2016 [3 favorites]
"He has never, ever been IN that bathroom. He's just a weirdo."
Yeah, when I first adopted Charles she had a hard time walking through the one hallway in my house which goes by a bathroom (which she had never been in). Two years later she still has a hard time going by there. If she drops her ball at the entrance to the hallway the slope of the floor causes it to roll right into there, of course, and I'll often hear her whining that her ball is lost and that I really really really need to come get it from the killer bathroom.
however if there's a thunderstorm then sometimes she'll go hide in that bathroom. I can't quite figure out the logic behind that one. Maybe better to be eaten by the bathroom monster than to be struck by lightning?
posted by komara at 1:22 PM on April 27, 2016 [5 favorites]
Yeah, when I first adopted Charles she had a hard time walking through the one hallway in my house which goes by a bathroom (which she had never been in). Two years later she still has a hard time going by there. If she drops her ball at the entrance to the hallway the slope of the floor causes it to roll right into there, of course, and I'll often hear her whining that her ball is lost and that I really really really need to come get it from the killer bathroom.
however if there's a thunderstorm then sometimes she'll go hide in that bathroom. I can't quite figure out the logic behind that one. Maybe better to be eaten by the bathroom monster than to be struck by lightning?
posted by komara at 1:22 PM on April 27, 2016 [5 favorites]
I'm having terrible dog-withdrawal because of this thread. Moving to a second floor apartment meant no dogs, and my snake is definitely anti-cuddle (though astonishingly pro-fall-asleep-on-my-head).
Made worse again because last night, I ran across a man on his phone, holding the leashes of three - three! - Italian Greyhounds. Nature's nerviest, skinniest adorable weirdos. I used to work with a lot of dogs, so I happened to know that those little dudes are typically nutty and nervous as hell (though very sweet! Cling like limpets once you're a designated Safe Human) so I knew I couldn't go up and ask to say hello to them without likely freaking them out, but oh, Mefites, it was so hard. I just wanted to smother them in ear scritches and head kisses.
posted by pseudonymph at 9:57 PM on April 27, 2016 [4 favorites]
Made worse again because last night, I ran across a man on his phone, holding the leashes of three - three! - Italian Greyhounds. Nature's nerviest, skinniest adorable weirdos. I used to work with a lot of dogs, so I happened to know that those little dudes are typically nutty and nervous as hell (though very sweet! Cling like limpets once you're a designated Safe Human) so I knew I couldn't go up and ask to say hello to them without likely freaking them out, but oh, Mefites, it was so hard. I just wanted to smother them in ear scritches and head kisses.
posted by pseudonymph at 9:57 PM on April 27, 2016 [4 favorites]
An embarrassed Zac getting a well-deserved hug and Zac with his pal Oskar.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 11:18 PM on April 27, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by a lungful of dragon at 11:18 PM on April 27, 2016 [4 favorites]
Oscar! So short! So fluffy!
posted by redsparkler at 1:58 PM on April 28, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by redsparkler at 1:58 PM on April 28, 2016 [3 favorites]
Here is Casey getting a hug from his "younger brother" right after grooming last year. Here's what he looks like at the moment (since I am dragging ass on getting him in for his summer cut).
Rescue dogs are the best
posted by phearlez at 8:15 PM on April 28, 2016 [3 favorites]
Rescue dogs are the best
posted by phearlez at 8:15 PM on April 28, 2016 [3 favorites]
Phearlez, Casey is totally adorable! As an ex-groomer, (that job is SUPER hard on the body) allow me to say that if you like the way Casey looks, he is not going to be too hot if you don't get him clipped. Fur is insulation -- keeps warm in the cold and cool in the hot. If you want to get him groomed for aesthetics, I would like to beg that you have your groomer do a Schnauzer-style head on him because OMG he would be so freaking cute with that. His coat type wouldn't support the super long eyebrows, but short eyebrows would be really good on him, along with the beard.
posted by Concolora at 7:07 AM on April 29, 2016
posted by Concolora at 7:07 AM on April 29, 2016
I once asked the groomer to leave his cute eyebrows. It was an... interesting look. We called him emo dog for a few days until I cut it back to something more reasonable.
It's the "summer cut" not because of the heat but because of the climate and activities. He's adorable with the full wookie, but it picks up and carries around the slightest damp dirt and he's a pretty active dog who loves the dog park. So keeping it that short lets me just rub him clean with a towel, where with the full shag I have to wash him if he's out after it's rained. The longer hair also seems to mean retaining more of the little dander he has, which bothers my wife's allergies.
There's definitely some schnauzer in that heinz57 (and maybe giraffe given the long legs)
posted by phearlez at 8:18 AM on April 29, 2016 [3 favorites]
It's the "summer cut" not because of the heat but because of the climate and activities. He's adorable with the full wookie, but it picks up and carries around the slightest damp dirt and he's a pretty active dog who loves the dog park. So keeping it that short lets me just rub him clean with a towel, where with the full shag I have to wash him if he's out after it's rained. The longer hair also seems to mean retaining more of the little dander he has, which bothers my wife's allergies.
There's definitely some schnauzer in that heinz57 (and maybe giraffe given the long legs)
posted by phearlez at 8:18 AM on April 29, 2016 [3 favorites]
There's definitely some schnauzer in that heinz57 (and maybe giraffe given the long legs)
Actually he looks enough like my dog to make me think he's more than a bit border terrier! Face scruff? Long legs? Perhaps?
posted by phunniemee at 8:48 AM on April 29, 2016
Actually he looks enough like my dog to make me think he's more than a bit border terrier! Face scruff? Long legs? Perhaps?
posted by phunniemee at 8:48 AM on April 29, 2016
Your dog and my dog have basically the same ankles.
posted by phunniemee at 8:50 AM on April 29, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by phunniemee at 8:50 AM on April 29, 2016 [2 favorites]
so I was in the bathroom at work, checking mefi (as one does), and blurted out laughing at Casey's emo eyebrows. Thank god nobody else was in there. Those pictures are definitely NSFWBSIT (not safe for work bathroom secret internet time) .
posted by Fig at 9:13 AM on April 29, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Fig at 9:13 AM on April 29, 2016 [2 favorites]
Patricia McConnell, who I mentioned up-thread, addresses this most recent "dogs don't like hugs" kerfuffle on her blog.
posted by Squeak Attack at 4:41 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by Squeak Attack at 4:41 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
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posted by maxsparber at 10:38 AM on April 26, 2016 [58 favorites]