The Rock Clock
May 3, 2016 9:54 AM Subscribe
The Classic alarm has The Rock say, ‘beep, beep, beep … I could do this all day … beep, beep, beep.’
A friend of mine downloaded this app and swears it was the best decision she's made in a long time. I'm curious, but I also value my marriage so I will probably not be downloading it, as my spouse would probably divorce me on the spot.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 10:03 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by rabbitrabbit at 10:03 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
IT'S 11 AM, YOU SHOULD HAVE EATEN AT LEAST A POUND OF COD BY NOW
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:06 AM on May 3, 2016 [21 favorites]
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:06 AM on May 3, 2016 [21 favorites]
I really hope the Rock Time feature wakes you up at the exact same time as The Rock wakes up, regardless of time zone. Rock Time don't care about local time!
posted by Rock Steady at 10:28 AM on May 3, 2016 [10 favorites]
posted by Rock Steady at 10:28 AM on May 3, 2016 [10 favorites]
I downloaded this yesterday. I think the shear anticipation of hearing The Rock sing me awake made me wake up before my alarm, and it was even earlier than usual (for unrelated reasons). My coworker almost did a spit take when she saw me walk in so early this morning.
In short, after one day, I'm pretty sure this is a miracle worker. ;)
posted by natabat at 10:29 AM on May 3, 2016 [6 favorites]
In short, after one day, I'm pretty sure this is a miracle worker. ;)
posted by natabat at 10:29 AM on May 3, 2016 [6 favorites]
Just when I thought there was no possible way for me to love The Rock more...downloaded, installed, looking forward to tomorrow morning.
posted by Fig at 10:33 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Fig at 10:33 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
This may be the app that finally gets me to upgrade to either android or an iPhone that supports iOS 8. I am curious how the synchronized wake ups work across time zones, because 4am PST is 7am EST which isn't that bad at all.
posted by ChrisHartley at 10:34 AM on May 3, 2016
posted by ChrisHartley at 10:34 AM on May 3, 2016
I've never been the sort of person who bounds out of bed in the morning with a list of Goals To Achieve, but I've never understood why anyone would ever hit the snooze button. Alarms are meant to be so annoying that they force you out of bed to make them stop, so why would you voluntarily put yourself through that experience more than once?
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:34 AM on May 3, 2016
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:34 AM on May 3, 2016
I highly recommend the "Lovely Flute" alarm. Equal parts soothing and unsettling.
posted by moons in june at 10:36 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by moons in june at 10:36 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
The Card Cheat: "Alarms are meant to be so annoying that they force you out of bed to make them stop, so why would you voluntarily put yourself through that experience more than once?"
Sleeping Me often makes decisions that do not comport with the wishes of Awake Me.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:41 AM on May 3, 2016 [12 favorites]
Sleeping Me often makes decisions that do not comport with the wishes of Awake Me.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:41 AM on May 3, 2016 [12 favorites]
I am scared and need someone to hold me.
posted by Capt. Renault at 10:46 AM on May 3, 2016
posted by Capt. Renault at 10:46 AM on May 3, 2016
Why stop with just The Rock? There's so much potential with other celebrity voice clock-related wake-up apps.
The Rock - The Rock Clock!
Nicolas Cage - The Wicker Man You Better Get Up Clock!
Jean Claude Van Damme - Jean Claude Van Damme You're Late for Your Meeting Clock!
Samuel L. Jackson - Hit Snooze Again Mother Fucker Clock!
Beyonce - Uh Oh Uh Oh You're Late Again Clock!
JUST TAKE MY MONEY!?!
posted by Fizz at 10:48 AM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]
The Rock - The Rock Clock!
Nicolas Cage - The Wicker Man You Better Get Up Clock!
Jean Claude Van Damme - Jean Claude Van Damme You're Late for Your Meeting Clock!
Samuel L. Jackson - Hit Snooze Again Mother Fucker Clock!
Beyonce - Uh Oh Uh Oh You're Late Again Clock!
JUST TAKE MY MONEY!?!
posted by Fizz at 10:48 AM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]
I also didn't think I could love Mr The Rock any more than I already do.
I cannot wait until Battle Cat tomorrow morning....
posted by biscotti at 11:12 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
I cannot wait until Battle Cat tomorrow morning....
posted by biscotti at 11:12 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
Brian Blessed has one. It is a thing of glory.
posted by jeribus at 11:14 AM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by jeribus at 11:14 AM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
Don't forget:
Rutger Hauer - Wake Up, Time To Die Clock!
System of a Down - Wake Up, Grab A Brush and Put a Little (Makeup) Clock!
posted by Strange Interlude at 11:15 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
Rutger Hauer - Wake Up, Time To Die Clock!
System of a Down - Wake Up, Grab A Brush and Put a Little (Makeup) Clock!
posted by Strange Interlude at 11:15 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
Tried it out this morning, and I'm not a fan. Apparently, to turn the alarm off you have to turn that sumbitch sideways and stick it straight up your candy ass.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 11:26 AM on May 3, 2016 [14 favorites]
posted by Parasite Unseen at 11:26 AM on May 3, 2016 [14 favorites]
What time would you like to set your alarm for?
IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT TIME YOU WANT TO SET YOUR ALARM FOR!
posted by The Gooch at 11:32 AM on May 3, 2016 [8 favorites]
IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT TIME YOU WANT TO SET YOUR ALARM FOR!
posted by The Gooch at 11:32 AM on May 3, 2016 [8 favorites]
The Rock is my rock
posted by brecc at 11:46 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by brecc at 11:46 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
Brian Blessed has one. It is a thing of glory.
Had. It has disappeared from the app stores, sadly, as otherwise I'd buy it in a heartbeat.
posted by delfin at 11:54 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
Had. It has disappeared from the app stores, sadly, as otherwise I'd buy it in a heartbeat.
posted by delfin at 11:54 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
I prefer my phone to never make noise ever, so I can't really make use of the alarm portion.
To test it out I had to set a goal before it would let me set the alarm, which was kind of annoying.
posted by ODiV at 12:07 PM on May 3, 2016
To test it out I had to set a goal before it would let me set the alarm, which was kind of annoying.
posted by ODiV at 12:07 PM on May 3, 2016
And now I can't get it past the "designate a goal" screen. It just crashes whenever I tell the Rock my goals. I really want to love this app, but it won't let me get close.
posted by brecc at 12:08 PM on May 3, 2016
posted by brecc at 12:08 PM on May 3, 2016
Oh, I meant to preface my comment by saying it's pretty cool and funny!
I could do this all morning.
posted by ODiV at 12:09 PM on May 3, 2016
I could do this all morning.
posted by ODiV at 12:09 PM on May 3, 2016
This woke me up to weird cat sounds today, and then I watched an "inspirational" video with The Rock and some guy doing bad rap.
Best morning in a long, long time.
posted by old_growler at 12:11 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
Best morning in a long, long time.
posted by old_growler at 12:11 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
Brian Blessed has one. It is a thing of glory.
I'm so disappointed you didn't mean that Brian Blessed has a The Rock Clock.
posted by straight at 12:36 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
I'm so disappointed you didn't mean that Brian Blessed has a The Rock Clock.
posted by straight at 12:36 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
I don't even remember what The Rock said at me this morning. I did like the note about The Rock being a morning person and I feel certain there are many other funny things about this app I haven't discovered yet.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 12:43 PM on May 3, 2016
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 12:43 PM on May 3, 2016
I really hope the Rock Time feature wakes you up at the exact same time as The Rock wakes up, regardless of time zone. Rock Time don't care about local time!
posted by Rock Steady at 1:28 PM on May 3 [5 favorites +] [!]
Eponysterical.
posted by maryr at 12:58 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Rock Steady at 1:28 PM on May 3 [5 favorites +] [!]
Eponysterical.
posted by maryr at 12:58 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
I smell bacon and eggs.
posted by davebush at 1:24 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by davebush at 1:24 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
Installed, but I haven't opened it yet because it's plain there will be no going back. The Rock is the best. He started acting right around the same time Johnny Depp starting making pirate movies. In the intervening years, he has grown as much as an actor as Depp has decayed. Did the Rock syphon away his power? I do not believe so. I do not believe the Rock wants any of us to be or become jabronis. All hail the People's Champion.
I hope he keeps making GI Joe and Fast and the Furious movies until they fuse into a single amazing megafranchise. And also with Transformers, so that the cars can transform into something that The Rock can hit with an elbow drop.
posted by EatTheWeek at 1:55 PM on May 3, 2016 [8 favorites]
I hope he keeps making GI Joe and Fast and the Furious movies until they fuse into a single amazing megafranchise. And also with Transformers, so that the cars can transform into something that The Rock can hit with an elbow drop.
posted by EatTheWeek at 1:55 PM on May 3, 2016 [8 favorites]
The rock was on one of the dumbest episodes of star trek and I love him for it.
posted by Ferreous at 2:24 PM on May 3, 2016
posted by Ferreous at 2:24 PM on May 3, 2016
I trust "WHAT IN THE BLUE HELL ARE YOU STILL DOING IN BED?!!" is one of the options?
posted by Celsius1414 at 3:11 PM on May 3, 2016
posted by Celsius1414 at 3:11 PM on May 3, 2016
I really hope the Rock Time feature wakes you up at the exact same time as The Rock wakes up, regardless of time zone. Rock Time don't care about local time!
Yes, this confirms my belief that The Rock is the bastard love child of Chuck Norris and The Honey Badger.
posted by prodigalsun at 3:15 PM on May 3, 2016
Yes, this confirms my belief that The Rock is the bastard love child of Chuck Norris and The Honey Badger.
posted by prodigalsun at 3:15 PM on May 3, 2016
Let me preface this by saying I make mobile apps for a living (tablets, Google Glass, Android, iOS, WinPhone). I'm quite good at what I do.
This app is well made. It's free. It has no in-app-purchases or adds. It's fucking HILARIOUS!
No other app has made me smile this way.
An app like this could have cost 10.000-20.000 to make. It's FREE. Completely.
Dwayne, if you read MeFi, I want to work with you.
posted by MacD at 3:28 PM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]
This app is well made. It's free. It has no in-app-purchases or adds. It's fucking HILARIOUS!
No other app has made me smile this way.
An app like this could have cost 10.000-20.000 to make. It's FREE. Completely.
Dwayne, if you read MeFi, I want to work with you.
posted by MacD at 3:28 PM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]
Metafilter's Own The Rock?
posted by Strange Interlude at 3:33 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Strange Interlude at 3:33 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
Metafilter's Own The Rock?
Oh man, I sure hope so.
posted by bowtiesarecool at 5:33 PM on May 3, 2016
Oh man, I sure hope so.
posted by bowtiesarecool at 5:33 PM on May 3, 2016
I woke up to 'battle kitten' and a motivational message and I! Am! Motivated! this morning.
posted by halcyonday at 11:36 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by halcyonday at 11:36 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
This has failed me badly because I woke up in a sun-dappled room to The Rock gently singing 'wake up, sunshine!' to me, and found it all so soothing that I was immediately lulled back to sleep.
I'll try again with the Battle Cat and hope for better results.
posted by pseudonymph at 3:18 AM on May 6, 2016
I'll try again with the Battle Cat and hope for better results.
posted by pseudonymph at 3:18 AM on May 6, 2016
I'm super impressed by this app. The Rock knows good marketing. I am smelling what he is cooking.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 3:38 AM on May 6, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 3:38 AM on May 6, 2016 [3 favorites]
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