Justice is Blonde
September 23, 2016 5:09 AM   Subscribe

The United States vs Bucky Barnes: The Winter Soldier is called to account for his crimes. He needs a miracle. He needs a decent lawyer. He needs Elle Woods. He just doesn't know it yet.
posted by divabat (22 comments total) 23 users marked this as a favorite
 
what.
posted by leotrotsky at 5:53 AM on September 23, 2016 [1 favorite]


Together, they fight...justice!
posted by Ashenmote at 5:56 AM on September 23, 2016 [2 favorites]


Presumably somewhere there's a spec script floating around for "Legally Blonde 3: European Vacation" set in and around the Hague.
posted by mhoye at 6:37 AM on September 23, 2016 [3 favorites]


On the one hand, the idea is SUPER CHARMING.

On the other hand, I'm in the first section and already subtracting points for execution on small things (capitalizing alma mater SIGH) and big things (ew, thanks for having the one black character so far speak in a stereotyped caricature of modern African-American speech when that is absolutely something he does not do in canon, plus I THINK YOU MAY HAVE USED THICK WRONG TO BOOT, UGH LOW-KEY FANDOM RACISM CAN'T EVEN GET THAT RIGHT).

Somehow, I suspect this is not going to get into the gnarly details of treaty ratification and SFRC procedure that I'm hoping for.
posted by joyceanmachine at 6:50 AM on September 23, 2016 [15 favorites]


I was also SUPER EXCITED about this fic when it popped up on my pinboard network, but I am slightly cranky about its details: for some reason it's set right after the end of the Legally Blonde movie, when it SHOULD have had her age in realtime so she is now in her late 30s and a partner at a law firm and a terrifying unstoppable force made of pure steel and competence and pink nail polish.

But the concept is still delightful.
posted by nonasuch at 7:09 AM on September 23, 2016 [17 favorites]


she is now in her late 30s and a partner at a law firm and a terrifying unstoppable force made of pure steel and competence and pink nail polish

not just regular pink nail polish

sparkly put-your-eye out pink

and a pink-and-gold glitter case for her iphone

and she rolls into the courtroom with a pink trial bag that has a gold monogrammed EW tag hanging from the zipper

and after she silkily answers roberts's question about medellin v. texas, she winks at him

and ruth bader ginsburg has to stifle a laugh in her jabot
posted by joyceanmachine at 7:35 AM on September 23, 2016 [14 favorites]


Can you guys just go ahead and write that fic please because I would read the hell out of it. I will beta it if you want, too.
posted by rtha at 7:40 AM on September 23, 2016 [6 favorites]


Thank goodness our long post-Civil War fic drought is over. I love AUs and cross-overs so much, I'm excited to read this (but, later, because opening AO3 at work is probably a fire-able offense). I'm currently writing a genderswapped WW1 lady spies Stucky fic that has been the most enjoyable way to fritter away my precious evening time. Oh, and there's currently a good work-in-progress fic on AO3 about Bucky Barnes being President and then Steve gets unfrozen.
posted by banjo_and_the_pork at 7:42 AM on September 23, 2016 [1 favorite]


> I'm currently writing a genderswapped WW1 lady spies Stucky fic that has been the most enjoyable way to fritter away my precious evening time

link pls
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:26 AM on September 23, 2016


*Sighs, trashes his Phoenix Wright: Special Sessions of the Superhero Court manuscript*
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 9:32 AM on September 23, 2016 [3 favorites]


Half the reason I'm so looking forward to that Wonder Woman film is the inevitable deluge of Diana/Steve Rogers crossover smutfic.
posted by scaryblackdeath at 9:55 AM on September 23, 2016 [1 favorite]


Can we just turn this thread into a post of recs of good fic we've read lately? I've found myself getting pickier and pickier, and mostly just waiting for WIPs I'm following to finish posting. In that regard, Out of Time (Steve/Bucky) was the best kind of agony and catharsis (heed the warnings though, the flashbacks to Bucky's time with Hydra were tough reads), and i need a forest fire (Steve/Bucky, but focus on a growing Tony & Bucky friendship) was a great read that really sold a hard-won reconciliation and friendship between Tony and Bucky.

Other than that I've been reading a lot of Sam/Bucky and I still want more of it. Whither all the fic where they get into hilarious frenemy shenanigans??
posted by yasaman at 9:59 AM on September 23, 2016 [4 favorites]


*Sighs, trashes his Phoenix Wright: Special Sessions of the Superhero Court manuscript*

What? No! I would beta that for you. Just as soon as I finish playing through Spirit of Justice.
posted by asperity at 10:02 AM on September 23, 2016


link pls
Oh geez , here you go, with the caveat that I'm really not a great writer, and it's nsfw.

Yasaman, I'm in the middle of reading Out of Time right now and it's so good! Spitandvinegar has two recent stories that have been really unusual and really good- Except it Abides in the Vine and Every Tree That is Useful.
posted by banjo_and_the_pork at 10:20 AM on September 23, 2016 [1 favorite]


This was charming, but United States v. Barnes, 617 F. Supp. 2d 143 (D.D.C. 2015) remains my definitive headcanon on the Winter Soldier trial. (Also, random grumble that people don't tag their fics enough - there *is* a canonical "Winter Soldier Trial" tag, but that fic isn't tagged with it.)
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 2:37 PM on September 23, 2016 [1 favorite]


Pretty sure I'm going to lose my whole weekend (worth it) to Known Associates, by thingswithwings. Hugely ambitious, beautifully written, and nearly 300K words long. Mind the tags.
posted by merriment at 4:18 PM on September 23, 2016 [2 favorites]


I have opened a bunch of these much-appreciated recommendations at work to mark them for later. But hey, if I get fired, more time to read!
posted by esoterrica at 6:19 PM on September 23, 2016


It took me SO many years to realize that "Legally Blonde" is actually an awful pun. I think it was my subconscious recoiling in horror.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 8:21 PM on September 23, 2016


okay fine who wants to round robin this? I'll start:

Pepper did not actually hear the news from Tony, because they were on a break and FRIDAY had strict instructions to only let his calls through when they stayed below a certain decibel level. No, Pepper heard the news from Vision, with Tony yelling in the background.

"Apparently there is to be a trial," Vision said.

"Yes, I heard," said Pepper.

Neither of them acknowledged Tony, who was on his fourth or so repeat of "how in the living fuck did he get them to take the case, motherfucking Stromwell Kensington Woods, what in the name of all fuckery is this--"

"I believe Mr. Stark has some concerns," said Vision, as though none of this was happening. "It seems the former Sergeant Barnes has secured excellent representation."

"Mm," said Pepper, and honestly, maybe it was a little childish of her to make Vision be the go-between, but sometimes it was enough like talking to Jarvis that she didn't care. "Well, I'm sure we can all agree he deserves a competent defense."

There was a pause. It was almost exactly like the pause Jarvis used to make before he told you what Tony had set on fire this time. "I'm sure that is a sound principle in general, yes."

"At least it'll make Ross furious," said Pepper. "Something for everyone to enjoy."

Somehow Vision was worse at jokes than Jarvis, though, because he only said "Perhaps," and let her make an excuse about a meeting.

Pepper checked the texts she'd gotten during the call. Most of them her underlings could handle, but she answered one herself.

Looking forward to our spa day! she told Elle. And thanks again-- I owe you one.
posted by nonasuch at 8:22 PM on September 23, 2016 [6 favorites]


Other than that I've been reading a lot of Sam/Bucky and I still want more of it. Whither all the fic where they get into hilarious frenemy shenanigans??
posted by yasaman at 3:29 AM on September 24 [3 favorites +] [!]

I'd assume yes, but just in case - have you read all of notcaycepollard's stuff? She's on a big Sam/Bucky kick of late, and her writing is great. (I, too, am reading a lot of Sam/Bucky lately. Everyone feel free to throw recs at me!)
posted by pseudonymph at 3:52 AM on September 24, 2016 [1 favorite]


Thank you for the recs everyone! I have read spitandvinegar's stuff, and also notcaycepollard's. Her Sam/Bucky is indeed delightful and basically my favorite. I'm going to guess you've read most of this, pseudonymph, but I'll offer up my Sam/Bucky recs on pinboard anyway.

Also, this isn't fic, but it crossed my tumblr dash and I just thought I'd leave it here and spread the sexual frustration around: a Civil War vid of Bucky Barnes attractively wrecking shit in impressively on-beat fashion.
posted by yasaman at 10:41 AM on September 24, 2016 [5 favorites]


Can we just turn this thread into a post of recs of good fic we've read lately?
Move Fast and Break Things finished up last month.
posted by roystgnr at 7:45 AM on September 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


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