This is just to say
December 4, 2017 10:27 AM   Subscribe

 
*stands in bathrobe on lawn with megaphone*
posted by cortex at 10:39 AM on December 4 [4 favorites]


The quality meter for millennial humor seems to correlate with how much you would have to explain each part of the joke to someone who hasn't been following the trail of how the references came to be. Hence why the winner of the current plums trend is indisputably "left icebox none plums".
posted by Space Coyote at 10:40 AM on December 4 [56 favorites]


Aren't all memes just
Petals on a wet, black bough
posted by chavenet at 10:45 AM on December 4 [12 favorites]


Jokes and memes are all very well, but you can't beat a good plum.
posted by Lanark at 10:50 AM on December 4


So much frustrates
about

an internet
meme

bandied about on
twitter

as if it hadn't been done before.
posted by nubs at 10:53 AM on December 4 [4 favorites]


I will say that per the article I think there's some meat on the bones of the intersection of the move to 280 characters and the recent riffing on WCW; the original poem has always been a little tight to work with on 140, so has lent itself to jarring edits to make do.

(so much depends
upon

an expanded character
count)

But I also have real strong feelings about the tendency of a lot of riffers to needlessly/guilelessly deviate from structural details of the poem, and the newfound freedom of movement in larger tweets doesn't seem to have done much there. Either depart aggressively from the form or respect it, don't half-ass that shit. This is internet poetry humor, it's important!
posted by cortex at 10:53 AM on December 4 [14 favorites]


From the responses to the tweet in Space Coyote's link: Just explained it to my dad; he laughed then said this is why the conservatives hate you.

And here I thought it was all the avocado toast and/or smartphones
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:54 AM on December 4 [3 favorites]




If they're too old to understand the 'plums' reference, change it to 'prunes'.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:58 AM on December 4 [3 favorites]


First the Cask of Amontillado fad, now modern poetry. Say what you will about sentencing the youth to eternal precarity, but the shiftless and erudite are cranking out some good stuff.

Now someone get them into Steve Reich.
posted by The Gaffer at 11:05 AM on December 4 [4 favorites]


my name was dad
i had a babe
it very sad
babe went away

so what do i
'tween rounds of booze?
i go online.
i sell the shoes.
posted by saturday_morning at 11:09 AM on December 4 [42 favorites]


Didn't we have a plums-in-the-icebox fad here for a while too?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:11 AM on December 4 [1 favorite]


Now someone get them into Steve Reich.

"Plumming"?
posted by LionIndex at 11:13 AM on December 4 [1 favorite]


how is babby shoe formed
how plum get eatent
posted by mullacc at 11:17 AM on December 4 [19 favorites]


I grow old ... I grow old ...
My unused baby shoes go unsold.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a plum?
posted by paper chromatographologist at 11:18 AM on December 4 [14 favorites]


Hence why the winner of the current plums trend is indisputably "left icebox none plums".
That's so good, though. It's not just a meme mashup, it's a meme mashup that pivots brilliantly on the polysemy of "left" to resignify the structure of the original pizza meme. Minimalistic. Multilayered. Compared to the other examples in this thread, it's, like, a work of art.

/wipes away a tear
posted by inconstant at 11:23 AM on December 4 [35 favorites]


These shoes were made
for walking

but that they never
did

one of these days
these shoes

are gonna
look great on your
kid
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:28 AM on December 4 [71 favorites]


I can't decide whether adding back the original "left" would detract from it (by being a little too close to grammaticality) or add to it (by dint of the additional resignification funtimes).
posted by inconstant at 11:28 AM on December 4






Forgive me
they hogged memory
and were
so old


See, this! This. People fuck up the structure at the end of the poem willy nilly, as if it doesn't matter, as if there was no structure other than "four lines" (and people fuck with even that, how many of these things just decide the middle stanza is three lines instead). The poem ends on such a good pair of beats, so x and so y, it should be the fuckin' firework display going off at the end of a riff but instead people just do whatever the hell they like and throw away an opportunity to truly stick the landing.

Why not instead e.g.

"...so many
and so old"

?

*nearly drops megaphone on lawn while hastily grabbing at windblown bathrobe*
posted by cortex at 11:37 AM on December 4 [43 favorites]


I swear to god, I turn into a hysterical fangirl whenever a new one of these comes across my feed. My brain just flops to the ground and wallows in them like a dog in a carcass.
posted by redsparkler at 11:43 AM on December 4 [12 favorites]


This was the best one ahem

“I heard there was a set of words
That the kids memed and confused the olds
But you don't really care for poems, do you?
Well it goes like this: the plums, the box,
The sweet cold taste, and the breakfast lost,
The baffling tweets reworking Carlos Williams”
posted by The Whelk at 11:45 AM on December 4 [74 favorites]


I saw something somewhere that made a good case for today's young humor to be mostly built on punching up and building bridges (because punching down or across very quickly produces a kekscape devoid of joy and wit). This is how we get delightful things like Cold Pockets and Pronouncing Things Incorrectly. Mashing these wholesome memes up with with already highly-memeable poetry attempts to build a bridge to the olds who don't understand the memes of the young but definitely remember High Art from days gone by, and punches up against staid enforcement of poetic canon, among other things.

Icebox memes, icebox memes
Do a lot more than it seems
Punching up, reach across
You don't get it? That's your loss
Look out,
Ye mighty and despair!
posted by infinitewindow at 11:54 AM on December 4 [14 favorites]


but instead people just do whatever the hell they like and throw away an opportunity to truly stick the landing.

I think people are mostly just bad at poetic rhythm, even some of the ones who appreciate that making a riff-y version of a poem is a fun thing to do. I've mostly made my peace with this, although reading limerick threads does usually end with me developing a Herbert Lom-esque eye twitch.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 11:59 AM on December 4 [3 favorites]




Needs a previously that I've never forgotten, and if I ever meet ed... why, I'd eat his nice cold plums sitting in the icebox.
posted by infini at 12:07 PM on December 4 [1 favorite]




I’m removing the plums from the icebox
Let future historians wonder
How Eliza reacted
When I stole her breakfast


Sadly I never come up with these.
posted by jeather at 12:10 PM on December 4 [8 favorites]


I really liked this comment from Popehat: "The way the Tamarians communicate through memes and allusions, previously ridiculous, seems increasingly plausible given modern practice."
posted by tavella at 12:24 PM on December 4 [15 favorites]


So, like, being a Millenial and all, like, has nothing to do with, like, the year you were born?
posted by infini at 12:33 PM on December 4 [1 favorite]


If plums are five, if plums are five, if plums are five
Then the icebox is six, then the icebox is six
The icebox is six, the icebox is six and if the icebox is six
Then shoes are seven, then shoes are seven, then shoes are seven

This baby's gone to Heaven
This baby's gone to Heaven
This baby's gone to Heaven
This baby's gone to Heaven

etc
posted by Dumsnill at 12:35 PM on December 4 [10 favorites]


I really liked this comment from Popehat: "The way the Tamarians communicate through memes and allusions, previously ridiculous, seems increasingly plausible given modern practice."
I mean, the prospect of communicating through memes and allusions was never really "ridiculous" in the sense of not being attested on a widespread cultural scale. If the current upsurge of memery and giffery is notable for anything, it's the aspect of rapid mutation/transmission (which is inimical to standardization/enshrinement as formal language).
posted by inconstant at 12:36 PM on December 4


Temba, his icebox empty
posted by cortex at 12:37 PM on December 4 [24 favorites]


Well, maybe if he wasn't "Temba, his arms wide" all the time he wouldn't have that problem.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 12:42 PM on December 4 [6 favorites]


Shaka, when the memes mutated.
posted by nubs at 12:43 PM on December 4 [6 favorites]


A warm-hearted Tamarian of the old school
His icebox is always empty because it's open to all.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 12:44 PM on December 4


Mutant, I have eaten your plums. Yes, I know you were saving them for your aunt.
posted by infini at 12:45 PM on December 4


That reminds me, where is Mutant anyways?
posted by infini at 12:46 PM on December 4


You're as cold as ice
Willing to sacrifice
Our plums
posted by cortex at 12:46 PM on December 4 [26 favorites]


Either depart aggressively from the form or respect it, don't half-ass that shit.

HALF-ASS IS HOW I FEEL INSIDE, RICK. ALL THE TIME.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:49 PM on December 4 [15 favorites]


Reader, I ate them.
posted by maxsparber at 1:00 PM on December 4 [22 favorites]


Twas a month before Christmas, and all through the Net
Every creature was meme-ing ‘bout fruit that was et
The smartphones and tablets were cradled with care
In hopes that the re-tweeters soon would be there

Millennials nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of icebox plums danced in their heads
And mamma on Facebook, and I on Snapchat
Had just posted some GIFs of a socks-wearing cat
posted by Atom Eyes at 1:10 PM on December 4 [23 favorites]


Whatever happened to predictability?
The icebox, the cold plums, breakfast for me?
posted by cortex at 1:12 PM on December 4 [8 favorites]


I have tweeted
the bitch
that was badder
than t swift

forgive me
I hate this poem now
posted by komara at 1:15 PM on December 4 [15 favorites]


Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping
As if someone gently rapping, rapping at my icebox door
"'Tis some acquistor," I muttered, "tapping at my icebox door -
"After plums, and nothing more."
posted by nubs at 1:15 PM on December 4 [17 favorites]


This is just to say
I have eaten your predictability
It was so-so.
posted by Dumsnill at 1:15 PM on December 4 [1 favorite]


Plums, plums,
Oh so cold
In the icebox
No, I stoled
What immortal
Hand or eye
Could breakfast save?
Not you, nor I.
posted by maxsparber at 1:15 PM on December 4 [9 favorites]




Is this the icebox?
Are these just plums to eat?
Saving for breakfast
So cold and deliciously sweet...
posted by Miss Otis' Egrets at 1:20 PM on December 4


I'm a plum
I'm an icebox
I'm your cold
Eaten breakfast

I'm delicious
I am sweet
I'm the thing
You planned to eat

Well you'll just forgive me
This is just to say
posted by cortex at 1:24 PM on December 4 [3 favorites]


So much frustrates
about

an internet
meme

bandied about on
twitter

as if it hadn't been done before.


It used to be you could tell your friends a joke that someone somewhere on Earth had heard before and nobody would give you grief about not being the first person in human history to ever tell that joke. Twitter ruins everything.
posted by straight at 1:24 PM on December 4 [1 favorite]


Plums, plums
the over-memed fruit

The more you tweet,
the more I'll mute

The more I mute,
the better my feed

So stick some plums
in every screed
posted by Atom Eyes at 1:28 PM on December 4 [25 favorites]


Take plums out of the ice box
They are so sweet and so cold
I know you were saving for breakfast, jack
These are two plums that you'll never get back!
I had to root, root, root through the ice box
Please forgive just the same
Because it's one, two, three plums I ate!
William Carlos William's the name!
posted by maxsparber at 1:32 PM on December 4 [2 favorites]


I will say that per the article I think there's some meat on the bones of the intersection of the move to 280 characters and the recent riffing on WCW; the original poem has always been a little tight to work with on 140, so has lent itself to jarring edits to make do.

Also limericks. (From @Andrew_Taylor)
The character limit on Twitter,
Prevents limericks — if you're a quitter.
But with one little cheat,
You can quickly defeat (see line 1)
posted by straight at 1:34 PM on December 4 [4 favorites]


I'm just trying to find the most unlikely thing to adapt to the plum poem, but no matter how odd it seems when I start, it's just another plum poem when I finish.

Maybe this:

Hinneh ma plum uma icebox
shove it ahem it's so cold
Hinneh ma plum
Hinneh ma plum
Yai dai dai dai dai dai dai dai dai dai
posted by maxsparber at 1:37 PM on December 4 [2 favorites]


There once was a millennial MeFite
Who viewed meme mashups with spite.
When asked why this was,
He answered, "Because
These plum jokes just don't come out right."
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:39 PM on December 4 [4 favorites]


Sweet icebox plums (bah bum bum)
So delicious and so cold (so cold! so cold!)
Forgive me please (bah bum bum)
You were prob'ly saving them
For breakfast
posted by infinitewindow at 1:41 PM on December 4 [1 favorite]


My name is William Carlos Williams and this is just to say
I have stolen your plums in a major way
I know you wanted them for breakfast food
but so sweet and so cold they were my dude
posted by ckape at 1:43 PM on December 4 [11 favorites]


I'm so glad this has come to Metafilter. Here is mine:

There once was an icebox with plums
Delicious and sweet as they come
Which were saved for your breakfast
For the cold keeps them freshest
Forgive me for eating them, chum.

https://twitter.com/panhopticon/status/937176844461207552
posted by panhopticon at 1:47 PM on December 4 [3 favorites]


Izy doats and bocksy doats
And liddle lamsteel plummeez
A kidsteel plummeez too, wouldn't you?
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 1:48 PM on December 4 [4 favorites]


Those two plums
are ate
That used to
sit in a watersmooth-silver
icebox
I ate onetwothreefourfive plumsjustlikethat
Jesus

Those were sweet and cold, man
and what i want to know is
how do you like your breakfast now
Mister Death
posted by maxsparber at 1:49 PM on December 4 [13 favorites]


plums I said plums I will plums
posted by cortex at 1:50 PM on December 4 [10 favorites]


It was the best of plums, it was the worst of icebox.
posted by maxsparber at 1:53 PM on December 4 [3 favorites]


Plum version of one of Norway's most well-known poems:

If you've said plums
You've said plums
posted by Dumsnill at 1:53 PM on December 4 [1 favorite]


Iceboxes have little plums
Inside, and cold, and sweetum,
Breakfasts they have no plums
Because I go and eat'em.
posted by maxsparber at 2:00 PM on December 4 [2 favorites]


Those sweet, cold, plums now I cannot lie
Your breakfast has gone bye-bye
When I went to the icebox place
And looked right in its space
I got plums
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:02 PM on December 4 [3 favorites]


Bow down before the one you serve
I ate the plums that you reserved
posted by chicobangs at 2:06 PM on December 4 [27 favorites]


Empty boxes
In the kitchen
Empty boxes
Made for storing plums

Empty boxes
In the kitchen
Empty boxes
Please forgive

There's sweet ones
And cold ones
And eaten ones
And delicious ones

And they all came
Out of iceboxes
And this is
Just to say
posted by cortex at 2:09 PM on December 4 [8 favorites]


Yeah, you're losing your plums
You're losing your plums
The poets are coming up from behind
You're losing your plums
You're losing your plums to Modernists and doctors
But they were there
They were there in 1934
They were there in the icebox in the kitchen
You're losing your plums
You're losing your plums to the poet whose poems you read when he steals your breakfast
You're losing your plums to the Imagist writer who can tell you every detail of every stone fruit from 1909 to 1939
You're losing your plums
posted by infinitewindow at 2:12 PM on December 4 [4 favorites]


cold plums are sitting in my mouth, my mouth
posted by cortex at 2:14 PM on December 4


I will not steal them from a box
I will not eat them with a fox
I do not like cold plums and ham
I do not like them
— Will.I.Ams
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:14 PM on December 4 [15 favorites]


It's breakfast time out there somewhere
And your plums are not here
It's breakfast time out there somewhere
And your plums are not here.

And this is all in your kitchen
You are at the icebox
No point in looking any further
If you wanna find your missing plums.
You can have a complicated Russian breakfast
With nine different blini types
But don't bother checking your icebox
We'd appreciate it, thanks a lot,
Da da da, da da da, da da da.

William!
William's a jerk,
He ate the plums you saved for the morn
He ate the plums you saved for the morn
William's a jerk, and your plums are not here.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 2:15 PM on December 4 [2 favorites]


breakfast time
one more chance for sweet cold plums
so finish your—wait, they're not here
posted by cortex at 2:16 PM on December 4 [3 favorites]


How does it feel to know I ate your plums
Which you kept inside your icebox to save for breakfast time?
I thought they were delicious, I thought they were so cold
Tell me please will you forgive me? Tell me please, please forgive me.
posted by SansPoint at 2:16 PM on December 4


y'all mad now cos I'm eating your plums
from the same icebox
and nobody here will hold the sign up
while you hammer it in


posted by infini at 2:18 PM on December 4 [1 favorite]


From the ice-box to the text box
There is but one concern
I have just discovered :

Some plums are sweeter than others
Some plums are sweeter than others
Some plums' mothers are sweeter than
Other plums' mothers
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:22 PM on December 4 [2 favorites]


Where is my poetry man?
Why has he done me wrong?
Why is my icebox empty?
Where have all the cold plums gone?
posted by infinitewindow at 2:23 PM on December 4 [5 favorites]


I saw the latest Wondermark and was trying to figure out how to work it into an FPP. I was sure theora55 had beat me to it, but I didn't notice the strip among the links above, or did I overlook it?
posted by zorseshoes at 2:24 PM on December 4 [7 favorites]


In the name of the most holy and individual Trinity: Be it known to all, and every one whom it may concern, or to whom in any manner it may belong: I ate your plum.
posted by Dumsnill at 2:24 PM on December 4 [2 favorites]


The plums take you down
To their place near the river
You can hear the boats go by
You can spend the night beside them
And you know that they're half-frozen but that's why you want to be there
And they feed you none and left beef that come all the way from China
And just when you mean to tell them that you have no love to give them
They get you on their wavelength
And they let the twitter answer
That you've always been their lover
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 2:30 PM on December 4 [2 favorites]


Who eats plums for breakfast, anyways?
Certainly not you, today
but generally speaking I mean.
posted by notyou at 2:36 PM on December 4 [5 favorites]


You say
I took plums from your icebox
And you say
I talk so sweet so cold, so
posted by cortex at 2:39 PM on December 4


I want to be your
Plum spammer
Why don't you call my name
Oh let me be your
Plum spammer
This will be my testimony
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 2:41 PM on December 4 [4 favorites]


Plum on me
(plum on me)
Plum me on
(plum on me)
I'll be plum
In a babyshoooooooooooe!
posted by Dumsnill at 2:45 PM on December 4 [6 favorites]


This is just to say that I have awarded my sole Twitter favorite for this meme to:

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
That your breakfast for tomorrow
Was the plums that I just had

posted by deludingmyself at 2:45 PM on December 4 [16 favorites]


She's lost the plums

She knew just what she was saving 'em for
But when I found out where they were stored
This is just to sayyyyy, whoa-oo-whoa-oh

They're so sweet
And they're so cold
She's lost the fruit -
She's come un-plum'd
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:46 PM on December 4 [1 favorite]


Oh oh here he comes
Watch out girl he'll fleece your icebox
Oh oh here he comes
He's a plum eater
posted by cortex at 2:55 PM on December 4 [4 favorites]


I like cold plums and I cannot lie
Your icebox tries but it can't deny
Me when I want to put some cold plums in my face
They will go right to my waist
I'm sorry, this is to say
posted by hanov3r at 2:56 PM on December 4 [4 favorites]


> the latest Wondermark I like Wondermark, but missed it. thanks, zorseshoes.
posted by theora55 at 2:58 PM on December 4


I love you, icebox pluuuuuums
Icebox plums, I love you, ye-esss I doooo-ooooo-oooo
I love you, icebox pluuuu-uuuu-uuuuums
Icebox plums, I love you, ye-esss I do
And on the lazy days
The red wheelbarrow glazed with rain
Beside the chickens, they are white
The day we are awaitiii-iiing
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:58 PM on December 4 [3 favorites]




It's an icebox
But it's got no plums
And it doesn't matter this is just to say

You can rely on your sweet cold breakfast
You can rely on your sweet cold breakfast
posted by cortex at 3:01 PM on December 4 [2 favorites]


Hold the icebox; hold the lettuce
Missing plums don't upset us,
All we ask is that you let us
Twitter away.
posted by theora55 at 3:02 PM on December 4 [3 favorites]


Atom Eyes: "Plums, plums
the over-memed fruit

The more you tweet,
the more I'll mute

The more I mute,
the better my feed

So stick some plums
in every screed
"

BURMA SHAVE
posted by Samizdata at 3:03 PM on December 4 [5 favorites]


Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught with your bad breakfast
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught with your bad breakfast
Br br so-so-cold!
T old told-told-told
Nom nom Hey, I stold!
Stold your bad breakfast
Br br so-so-cold!
T old told-told-told
Nom nom Hey, I stold!
Stold your bad breakfast
I lik'd your bread
I swiped your sweet peas
I want your everything
As long as it's free
I want your plums
Plums-plums-plums
I want your plums
I want your crema
The peaches you canned
I want your lunch as long as it’s bland
I want your plums
Plums-plums-plums, I want your plums (Plums-plums-plums, I want your plums)
You know that I want to
And you know that I need to
I want your bad
Your bad breakfast
I want your plums that
I found in your fridge
You and me could eat a bad breakfast
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!)
I want your plums and
All the food in your fridge
You and me could eat a bad breakfast
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught with your bad breakfast
Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh! Oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught with your bad breakfast
Br br so-so-cold!
T old told-told-told
Nom nom Hey, I stold!
Stold your bad breakfast
I want your Hormel
Your Armour Divine
'Cause potted meat
Is covered in slime
I want your plums
Plums-plums-plums
I want your plums
I want your Altoids, your licorice stick
Want your vegan cookie dough
Making me sick, I want your plums
Plums-plums-plums, I want your plums (Plums-plums-plums, I want your plums)
You know that I want to
And you know that I need to
I want your bad, bad breakfast
I want your plums that
I found in your fridge
You and me could eat a bad breakfast
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh!)
I want your plums and
Montezuma's revenge
You and me could eat a bad breakfast
Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh! Oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught with your bad breakfast
Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh! Oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught with your bad breakfast
Br br so-so-cold!
T old told-told-told
Nom nom Hey, I stold!
Stold your bad breakfast
Br br so-so-cold!
T old told-told-told
Nom nom Hey, I stold!
Stold your bad breakfast
Lik, lik flatbread baby, wen the moon is shiyning crazy
Lik, lik flatbread baby, wen the moon is shiyning crazy
Lik, lik flatbread baby, wen the moon is shiyning crazy
Lik, lik flatbread baby, wen the moon is shiyning crazy
I want your plums
That I found in your fridge
I want your plums
That I found in your fridge
(Chew chew ton of Armour I found in your fridge Chew chew ton of Armour)
That I found in your fridge, That I found in your fridge
That I found in your fridge, That I found in your fridge
Want your bad breakfast (caught with your bad breakfast) want your bad breakfast
I want your plums that
I found in your fridge
You and me could eat a bad breakfast
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh!)
I want your plums that
I found in your fridge
You and me could eat a bad breakfast
Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh! Want your bad breakfast
Caught with your bad breakfast
Want your bad breakfast
Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh! Want your bad breakfast
Caught with your bad breakfast
Br br so-so-cold!
T old told-told-told
Nom nom Hey, I stold!
Stold your bad breakfast
posted by The Great David S. Pumpkins at 3:06 PM on December 4 [2 favorites]


Baby I don't need Carlos Bills to eat plums tonight
(please forgive)
Baby I don't need Carlos Bills to eat plums tonight
(please forgive)

I don't need no iiiiiiicebox
Long as you left plums for me
I don't need no iiiiiiicebox
That's my breakfast probably
posted by cortex at 3:09 PM on December 4


In West Philadelphia born and raised
In an icebox, where they spent most of their days

Thats... that's all I got.
posted by emelenjr at 3:10 PM on December 4 [3 favorites]


To the moderators: Just be glad I didn't post the entire treaty of West Philadelphia, before the plums.
posted by Dumsnill at 3:12 PM on December 4 [3 favorites]


Thats... that's all I got.

The Fresh Plums of Frigidaire was my favorite show!
posted by Atom Eyes at 3:16 PM on December 4 [6 favorites]


I had to have them a-AAAAAL
Delicious and so swe-EEEEET
your breakfast had to fa-AAAAAL, forgive me
'Cause your plums I
Had to eat
posted by infinitewindow at 3:21 PM on December 4


This to say, just to say,
William C. Williams has
Eaten the plums that
You had tried to save.

Why would he eat them so
Apologetically?
Simply because he
Could not fight the crave.
posted by Daily Alice at 3:25 PM on December 4 [1 favorite]


Last Christmas I gave you my plums
The very next day you fed them to chums

This year, to save me from jeers,
I'll place them right back in the icebox.
posted by Chrischris at 3:55 PM on December 4 [10 favorites]


I feel like a nosh
(but baby I ate your plums)
I'll check the icebox
(but baby I ate your plums)
I've got some—wait, hold—
(so sweet and so cold)
on what the hey—
(forgive me this is just to say)
posted by cortex at 4:15 PM on December 4 [3 favorites]


Turning and turning in the widening gyre,
The plum cannot hear the breakfaster.
posted by evidenceofabsence at 4:24 PM on December 4 [3 favorites]


Wee, sleeket, cowran, tim’rous plumsie,
O, what a panic’s in thy pitsie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
Wi’ bickerin brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an’ chase thee
Wi’ brekfstin' pattle!
posted by notyou at 4:29 PM on December 4 [7 favorites]


Where have all the cold plums gone?
Long tme passing,
Where have all the cold plums gone,
Long time ago?
Where have all the fridge plums gone?
Williams ate them everyone.
When will they ever learn
When will they ever learn?
posted by Oyéah at 5:32 PM on December 4 [4 favorites]


Oh the plums in the fridgie
They are all departed and gone.
They were waiting for me
When I felt that I just can't go on.
Their comfort was theory
The reality is they are gone.
I hope you run over him,
You who've been traveling so long.

Oh you who must leave everything
That you cannot control.
It begins with your fridgie
And later comes down to your soul
If your chum is a thief
And the season for plums early ends
He will blind you with love
That is graceless as plum pits and skins.
posted by Oyéah at 5:52 PM on December 4


Tolk sat dumb in his cavern slum,
Saved and shared a stone from a plum,
With Willy Carlos and lack-lock icebox,
Fresh fruit was scarce to come fast.
Done fast! Gum fast!
In a cave in the hills with his poet chum
And plums were ne'er for break-fast.
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 5:56 PM on December 4 [2 favorites]


Of man's first disobedience
And the fruit of that forbidden fridge
That brought sweet into our world and also cold
With lots of eating til one guilty man
Restore us and regain that tasty treat
Sing, dankest of memes...
posted by Chrischris at 6:00 PM on December 4 [2 favorites]


Meme and my barrel
Ba-dum ba-da bum ba-da bum bum
Sucking the marrow
From plum pa-da plum pa-da plum plum
Whenever we eat, it's pretty sweet
Just meme and my barrel....
posted by The Great David S. Pumpkins at 6:14 PM on December 4


in the villa of allplums in the villa of allplums
stands a solitary icebox
aah aah
aah ahh
at the centre of it all at the centre of it all
your ice

something happened as breakfast is told
his plums already eaten maybe sold?
forgive me so delicious and so cold
I'm a black plum I'm a black plum

posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 6:20 PM on December 4 [1 favorite]


My heart aches, and a drowsy plumness pains
My sense, as though the icebox I had emptied...
posted by Miss Otis' Egrets at 6:22 PM on December 4 [1 favorite]


A long long time ago
I can still remember
How that icebox used to make me smile
And I knew if I'd had a chance
I'd've kept my breakfast in my pants
Then maybe I'd be happy for a while

But that short note it made me shiver
With the message it delivered
Don't know how it happened
He surely caught me nappin'
I can recall that I was glum
When I read about the purloined plums
It really made me feel quite dumb
The day he ate my plums

So

Bye, bye my Apple Plum Pie...
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:31 PM on December 4 [5 favorites]


somebody's stone fruit
is crowding my icebox
somebody's cold plum
is giving me chills
posted by ohkay at 6:38 PM on December 4 [5 favorites]


Whatcha gonna do with all those plums
All those plums inside your tum

I'ma take take take take take a dump
Take a dump from all your plums
My plums my plums my plums my plums my plums
My plums my plums my plums my sweet and stollen plums
posted by The Great David S. Pumpkins at 6:59 PM on December 4 [6 favorites]


I got a letter from the government the other day,
Opened it and read it, it said I was plum out,
They're making free with my icebox or whatever,
Picture me breaking my fast, now that's never!
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 7:47 PM on December 4 [1 favorite]


When I was just a baby
My mama told me, "Son,
Always be a good boy
Don't ever steal plums"
But I took them from your icebox
And this is just to say
I hope you can forgive me
This meme won't go away
posted by pernoctalian at 7:54 PM on December 4 [4 favorites]


I literally have a bag of 22 ripe plums in my fridge waiting to be made into preserves this evening and I will be reopening this thread to croon through tears of laughter at them as they bubble away in purple joy. Perfect timing, thank you!
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 7:55 PM on December 4 [3 favorites]


I stole sweet plums from your icebox, man were they delicious!
Please forgive my larceny, it really was pernicious
If you need to punish me, I hope you won't be vicious
I stole sweet plums from your icebox, man were they delicious!
posted by Atom Eyes at 8:08 PM on December 4 [1 favorite]


I saw the best plums of my generation taken from the icebox, delicious sweet cold
posted by Miss Otis' Egrets at 8:17 PM on December 4 [9 favorites]




Well, I went home with the waitress
The way I always do
How was I to know
She was making Russian stew

I was ambling in her pantry
I took a little risk
Blend lobsters, plums and honey
Dad, get a load of bisque
posted by The Great David S. Pumpkins at 8:55 PM on December 4 [2 favorites]


Plum plu PLUPlum
Plum plu PLUPlum PLUMMM!
posted by Chitownfats at 8:58 PM on December 4


I am a plum
I am an iiiiiiiiiiiicebox
posted by cortex at 9:05 PM on December 4 [4 favorites]


Ice box baby
Ice box baby
All right stop
Appropriate and glisten
Ice is back with my brand new invention
Plum juice dripping down unsightly
Flowing sweetly to the ground morning noon and nightly
Will it ever stop?
Yo, I don't know
Maybe you should head back to the store and get some more
posted by The Great David S. Pumpkins at 9:24 PM on December 4 [4 favorites]


You may forget but
let me tell you
this: someone in
some future time
will mimic us
posted by pjenks at 9:40 PM on December 4 [1 favorite]



Little Jack Horner
Sat in the corner,
Eating a Christmas pie;
He put in his thumb,
And pulled out a plum,
And said, "What a good boy am I!"
posted by infini at 1:47 AM on December 5 [2 favorites]


Why are there so many
Songs about cold plums
And boxes with no plums inside?

Your sweet plums for breakfast
Are now just a mem'ry;
Iceboxes have nothing to hide.

I claim I'm sorry and you may believe that
Forgive me or not, I don't care.
Someday you'll taste it,
A cold plum confection,
But now it's just Williams and me.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 2:01 AM on December 5 [5 favorites]


You'd think that people would have had enough of silly plum songs
I look around me and I see it isn't so, oh no.
Some people want to fill the world with silly plum songs
And what's wrong with that
I'd like to know
Cause here I go again...
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 2:04 AM on December 5 [6 favorites]


Come, they told me
Pa rum pum pum plum
A newborn King to see
Pa rum pum pum plum

Our sweetest fruits we bring
Pa rum pum pum plum
To lay before the King
Pa rum pum pum plum
Rum pum pum plum
Rum pum pum plum

So to honor him
Pa rum pum pum plum
When we come

Little baby
Pa rum pum pum plum
I am a poor boy too
Pa rum pum pum plum
I ate them, cold and sweet
Pa rum pum pum plum
So I've no gift for Him
Pa rum pum pum plum
Rum pum pum plum
Rum pum pum plum

Please forgive me
Pa rum pum pum plum
You'll have no plums.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 2:28 AM on December 5 [2 favorites]


Ooh she's watching the iceboxes
Ooh there's no plums
She is watching the iceboxes
While she chews, chews, chews, chews

She eats his breakfast until the teardrops start
She's says she's sorry, they're not warm, not tart
posted by cortex at 8:49 AM on December 5 [2 favorites]


Yesterday
All your plums were just a walk away
Now they're in my belly, there to stay
Please forgive me, if there's a way

Why I had to eat all those plums? I couldn't say
They were sweet and cold, you had saved them for today....

Yesterday
You thought your breakfast was all squared away
Now your icebox's empty, just to say
You should have hid those plums away....
posted by seyirci at 10:06 AM on December 5 [4 favorites]


Oh I just don't know where to begin
Though he says he wants forgiveness
It's now or never
But she keeps him hanging on
Breakfast of champions
He says they were so cold
Dipped in mascarpone

Accidents will happen
He only bit the plums
They used to be your breakfast
Now you don't have even one
posted by The Great David S. Pumpkins at 10:08 AM on December 5 [2 favorites]


Don't start me eating
I could eat all night
My mind goes fridge raiding
While I'm stress eating it's fight or flight

So cold and sweet your plums tasted
Have you got yourself a backup breakfast?

All of your/our meal is gone today
All of your/our meals have gone away
And I would rather you forgive me please
Just saying
posted by The Great David S. Pumpkins at 10:31 AM on December 5 [2 favorites]


stone fruit cut into pieces
for sale and never worn
refrigeration
shoes: baby
I ate the plums you were probably saving
posted by Dokterrock at 10:32 AM on December 5 [2 favorites]


I was looking all through your refrigerator
Looking for some fruit I could bite
With every bit of that late night hunger
Giving pangs, bringing tears to my eyes
I was seriously thinking about eating a tomato
But I through it out 'cause it had mold
Then I saw plums and I couldn't believe
They really were so sweet and so cold

Sweet plums are a snack salvation
Cold plums are feeding the nation
You say you were saving them for your breakfast
So please forgive me because I was so reckless
And you had better buy a few more plums
You'd better eat them before they're gone
posted by SansPoint at 11:58 AM on December 5 [1 favorite]


Oh yeah, all right
Your plums gonna be oh so sweet
Tonight

[Drum solo]

[Guitar solos]

And in the fridge
The plums I take
Is equal to the plums
You saved
posted by The Great David S. Pumpkins at 12:13 PM on December 5 [2 favorites]


They're cold and sweet
I'm willing to take and eat
Your plums
Forgive my vice
Someday I'll pay the price, I know

This is just to say
It happened only one time
I should've closed the door
And left your breakfast behind

(backup singers) Colllld...aaaand...niiiiiice....
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:33 PM on December 5 [4 favorites]


I can feel 'em
Chilling in the box
Tonight
So cold

And I've been waiting
For this breakfast
All my life

(PLUM plum, PL-plum, PL-plum, pl-plum PLUM PLUM)
posted by cortex at 12:46 PM on December 5 [6 favorites]


There's a lady who's sure
In the icebox so cold
Are some plums that she bought for her breakfast
When she gets up she knows
If the icebox is closed
Through the door she can get what she came for
Oh oh some plums that she bought for her breakfast

There's a note on the fridge
But she wants to be sure
'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings
In the trash by the sink
There's the bag from the grocer
Looks like all of her plums are now missing

Ooh, they were delicious
Ooh, they were sweet and delicious

[Drum solo]

[Guitar solos]

Some plums that she... bought for her breakfast
posted by The Great David S. Pumpkins at 1:49 PM on December 5 [5 favorites]


Don't tell me you don't know what plums are
When they're cold enough to taste better
When you find no plums in your icebox
When your breakfast turns out to be a no-go
I'm a man who just ate them, and this is just to say that...

You're giving me a longing look
Every day
Every day
Every day I'll eat the plums.
posted by hanov3r at 1:57 PM on December 5 [2 favorites]


Don't mean to brag
Don't mean to boast
But I ate your fuckin' plums
With a side of toast
posted by the phlegmatic king at 2:09 PM on December 5 [2 favorites]


Plummy tones and plummy folk,
Even though we share an icebox,
You best not steal from me again,
I still haven't had my breakfast,

This you just say, "They were so-o cold!"
"Please forgive me, they were so cold!"
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 2:10 PM on December 5 [1 favorite]


Not really planning on quitting my dayjob for full time filking if I'm honest.
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 2:10 PM on December 5


You are my plumshine my only plumshine
you make me happy this is just to say
you'll never know dear how cold delicious
please don't take my sweet plums away
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 2:22 PM on December 5 [4 favorites]


You threw a bag in the fridge,
Took a look, hey look at this
Those fucking plums looked delicious,
And now they're in my belly

I'd trade my soul for a bite,
Such sweet cold delight
I wasn't looking for this,
But now they're in my belly

Your plums were showing,
Plump, clean, skin was glowing'
Hot night, stomach growling
Where do you think they're going, baby?

Hey, I just ate them,
And this is lazy,
But here's my note, it's
Just me saying!

It's hard to look right
At you baby,
But here's my note, it's
Just me saying!

Hey, I just ate them,
And this is lazy,
But here's my note, it's
Just me saying!

Ate all the plums that you
Were probably saving,
But here's my note, it's
Just me saying!
posted by The Great David S. Pumpkins at 2:29 PM on December 5 [2 favorites]


Fuck me I love this place.
posted by elsietheeel at 3:22 PM on December 5 [4 favorites]


Girls just wanna have plu-ums!
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:20 PM on December 5 [3 favorites]


Look at what's happened to me
I can't believe it myself
Suddenly I've taken from the icebox
The fresh plums of somebody else

Believe it or not, I ate all your plums
I never thought about what you would eat
Sweet, cold, and ripe, I couldn't resist
Who else could it be?
Believe it or not, forgive me.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 3:18 AM on December 6 [3 favorites]


*grabs sack of potatoes and makes a run for it while everyone has their eyes on the plum*
posted by infini at 6:24 AM on December 6 [1 favorite]


Hey infini, you forgot the baby shoes!
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:41 AM on December 6 [1 favorite]


Never used.
posted by infini at 12:30 PM on December 6 [1 favorite]


(a day late and baby shoe short...)

Sweet snack for a change
See the lack of fruit can make a good man turn bad
So please, please, please
Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me
I've eaten all you saved this time

Haven't had a plum in a long time
See the icebox keeps them so cold
So this is to just say, let me eat what I want
Lord knows, they were so delicious
Lord knows, they were so delicious
posted by rjd at 1:16 PM on December 6


I got somethin' to say!
I ate your plums today and
I hope you'll forgive me
'cause they were so cold

And I got somethin' to say!
I sold baby shoes today and
it doesn't matter that much to me
'cause they were unworn
posted by Pope Guilty at 1:30 PM on December 6


Baby I just ate your plums
Left a note 'cause I'm dumb
Baby I just ate your plums
Please baby forgive me
So sweet, so-so cold, yeah!
posted by SansPoint at 1:47 PM on December 6


Well she was an icebox-havin' girl
Raised on probablies
Couldn't help thinkin' there
Was a little bit of plum, cold and sweet
posted by cortex at 6:31 PM on December 6


If you like eatin' someone's breakfast, and stealin' tasty produce
If you're not into yogurt or some chilled orange juice
If you like takin' from the icebox some dee-licious fruit
I'm the one that you've looked for, just an old contrite coot
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:59 PM on December 6


I've eaten plums from both sides now
So sweet, so cold and still somehow
It's someone's breakfast I recall
You really won't forgive, at all
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:05 PM on December 6 [1 favorite]


In a dark frosty icebox, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of leftovers rising up through the air
Way back in the corner, I saw some delicious plums
My stomach empty with a growling din
I had have me some
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:13 PM on December 6 [1 favorite]


There's cold plums in your icebox and they're looking good
They were there for your breakfast, that's understood
But they were so sweet and cold that I ate them up
I hope you'll forgive me as I leave this note

*synth solo*
posted by SansPoint at 7:34 PM on December 6


I had have me some

Had TO have. Must've lost it in some edit and didn't notice. Dammit.
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:50 PM on December 6


It's gonna take a lot of forgiveness, ooh
There's nothing for breakfast-time, what will you do
I ate the plums down in our icebox
Gonna take some time to write a note of what I had
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:51 PM on December 6


Sorrys are sorry
Breakfast is dumb
Saving's too taxing
Might as well plum
posted by cortex at 9:09 PM on December 6 [2 favorites]


Ooh, a Dorothy Parker reference? Classin' up the joint!
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:37 PM on December 6


I shall be entreating forgive-ness
For simply ages and ages hence;
Two plums sat in an icebox, and I—
I took them for myself to possess,
And that has made all the deliciousness.

...yeah, maybe I should just go to bed now...
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:01 PM on December 6


Solomon Just Say
Plum on a Monday
Icebox on Tuesday

Saving on Wednesday
Prob'ly on Thursday
Breakfast on Friday

Cold-sweet on Saturday
Sorry on Sunday
That was the end
Of Solomon Just Say.
posted by cortex at 7:50 AM on December 7


While we may be patting ourselves on the back for being ahead of the curve on William Carlos Williams, remember that Naughty by Nature has been down with Other People's Plums since 1991.
posted by ckape at 2:26 PM on December 7


Begin the day with an empty fridge
And a post-it unobtrusive
Those eaten plums are so elusive
But they were delicious, so sweet and so cold
posted by DoctorFedora at 3:15 PM on December 7 [1 favorite]


Way late to the party, but:

With the plums on my head
I was about three feet taller
Than the icebox.
posted by blue shadows at 12:28 AM on December 10


« Older Now We Have a Competition!   |   Zero Context Theater presents... Newer »


You are not currently logged in. Log in or create a new account to post comments.