I care about you as a person./Especially, your values.
December 8, 2017 9:28 AM   Subscribe

Want to take over a city?

You’re in luck.

I’ve built a couple of hyper-local membership models.

I’ve even managed seven city memberships at one time.

Number of members?

Over 5,000 people. [...]

LinkedIn power users are gaming the social network with elongated self-help posts that look like poems. We're calling them broetry. [SLBF]
posted by not_the_water (23 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
 
Erasure poetry enthusiasts, to arms!
posted by Gymnopedist at 9:38 AM on December 8, 2017 [1 favorite]


I do not understand people who used LinkedIn as an actual social network. It’s just a resume and job hunting site.
posted by SansPoint at 9:48 AM on December 8, 2017 [11 favorites]


Brigette Hyacinth's broetry led me to figuring out LinkedIn has features to block and remove users. She's got a quote about how "employees are the branches of the tree that makes the company grow" that has been shared widely that drives my grammatical and logical sensibilities insane.
posted by notorious medium at 9:58 AM on December 8, 2017 [4 favorites]


Someone at my former institution decided to drop out of school and posted one of these things that must have been 6,000 words long. It was interspersed with unattributed Drake lyrics. That one was posted to PasteBin, however.
posted by codacorolla at 10:01 AM on December 8, 2017 [1 favorite]


People say,

'This is very third grade-level writing style’

and I say,

‘Good luck doing it.’


and i say

as a writer and marketer myself

there is nothing more enraging

than reading sentences

like this
posted by knownassociate at 10:03 AM on December 8, 2017 [4 favorites]


How is this gaming the service?
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 10:08 AM on December 8, 2017


It’s like... a tweetstorm. Except not in multiple tweets. But this feels like the cadence of someone whose reading and writing has been shaped by years of a 140-character limit, to me. Ugghhh.
posted by egypturnash at 10:12 AM on December 8, 2017 [6 favorites]


No need for a neologism, there's already a term for this: "bad writing".
posted by demiurge at 10:17 AM on December 8, 2017 [9 favorites]


Among the included tips: “don’t overestimate your readers’ intelligence” and “be known for one or two adverbs.”

Strunk & White wept.
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:20 AM on December 8, 2017 [4 favorites]


this is just to say
i now have
another reason
to loathe linkedin

it is crass
so venal
and so cold
posted by scratch at 10:22 AM on December 8, 2017 [31 favorites]


It reminds me of the savvier street beggars, who have perhaps read a book on NLP persuasion techniques or something, who rather than stopping you and immediately asking for an amount of money, pause for a few beats immediately after the “Excuse me sir/madam”, interrupting your train of thought and then leading into their spiel.
posted by acb at 10:24 AM on December 8, 2017 [1 favorite]


LinkedIn has turned intoa sort of Lord Of The Flies island filled with recruiters going slowly mad. And thought leaders, leading the shit out of thoughts by reposting Forbes.com articles.
posted by Damienmce at 10:24 AM on December 8, 2017 [25 favorites]


Want to take over a city?

You’re in luck.

One person to cut the phone and power lines

one at the bridge over the Battenkill

one at the main road out

to the north.

The rest of us

could advance from the south and west.

Demigods.

We could sit on thrones in the town square.

The local merchants pay us tribute.

Bloodshed is a terrible thing, Julian would say.

But we will disrupt the industry

and also Bunny.
posted by hapaxes.legomenon at 10:31 AM on December 8, 2017 [26 favorites]


SansPoint: "I do not understand people who used LinkedIn as an actual social network. It’s just a resume and job hunting site."

LinkedIn (now Microsoft) doesn't get enough eyeballs and thus revenue if you only go there when you're job hunting so they've been trying to turn it into a more businessy Facebook for a while now.
posted by octothorpe at 11:00 AM on December 8, 2017


These are so banal. I'm sticking to Erowid Recruiter (previously).
posted by one for the books at 11:06 AM on December 8, 2017 [6 favorites]


I've seen things
you marketing bros
wouldn't believe.

Bitcoins on fire
off the NASDAQ

All these things
will be lost
like dank memes
on Reddit

Time to Rickroll.
posted by gsh at 11:06 AM on December 8, 2017 [18 favorites]


the broem is the ideal medium to communicate brofundities
posted by prize bull octorok at 11:14 AM on December 8, 2017 [4 favorites]


I was wondering about the cadence of these types of Linkedin posts! A friend is starting up his own hr-adjacent business, and so now my feed is full of these "power user" linkedin people all posting these hr-related poems and commenting back and forth. I am not in HR, so it is simultaneously weird and slightly amusing to see. These people are actually using it as a social media platform for networking.
posted by Hermeowne Grangepurr at 11:38 AM on December 8, 2017


It does strike me
That the weirdness and simplicity of the language
Is ideally suited to being generated by bots
posted by Damienmce at 12:47 PM on December 8, 2017 [3 favorites]


It is unsurprising

that Mefites are using this article

as an opportunity

to have their cake

and also eat it.
posted by grumpybear69 at 3:18 PM on December 8, 2017 [2 favorites]


I wasn't surprised to see that one of the authors learned to write this way on Quora. That place totally has its own writing style.
posted by salvia at 3:19 PM on December 8, 2017 [1 favorite]


I get contact requests all the time from random "power user" people. Sometimes they have a description like "life coach" or "independent marketing guru" where I can see why they want to have a gazillion connections, but a lot seem to be just regular professional types. Is there some way to monetize having a huge number of contacts, like with sponsored posts or something?

The broems, however, I have avoided.
posted by Dip Flash at 4:58 PM on December 8, 2017


I'm disappointed that loquacious hasn't weighed in on this one yet.
posted by clawsoon at 8:44 PM on December 8, 2017


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