Bruce Lee, now with lightsabers
January 17, 2018 4:32 PM   Subscribe

How cool would that be? (slyt)

Patrick Nan came across this image (originally on deviantArt by Ameen Naksewee) and recreated this scene in Fist of Fury (1972). (via BB)
posted by numaner (54 comments total) 20 users marked this as a favorite
 
“I guess that’s kinda coo-”
*nunchaku come out*
“Holy Mother of God.”
posted by leotrotsky at 4:43 PM on January 17, 2018 [34 favorites]


He'll have his eye out.
posted by Artw at 4:50 PM on January 17, 2018 [9 favorites]


I too would be using my concerned face if confronted with light sabre nunchucks.
posted by threecheesetrees at 4:52 PM on January 17, 2018 [3 favorites]


Very cool though.

I thought Pong Krell had nunchuck sabres in Clone Wars but that turns out to be boring ass collapsible staff sabres so not nearly as cool.

Yes that is a real Star Wars name.
posted by Artw at 4:55 PM on January 17, 2018


Are those a variety of sword-chucks?
posted by I-Write-Essays at 4:58 PM on January 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


Indiana Jones could beat either of those guys
posted by thelonius at 5:03 PM on January 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


Bruce Lee does not need lightsabers to be cool.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:04 PM on January 17, 2018 [16 favorites]


ThoughtCo says "double-bladed yellow sabers are used exclusively by Jedi Temple Guards" so here I am with abrupt, strong feelings that Lee rates far above guard duty and must be using a set of nunchunks he found on the ground somewhere.

Also, this video bled into one titled "How Good Really was Bruce Lee? Real Sparring Analysis," which, buddy, guy, why.
posted by Iris Gambol at 5:07 PM on January 17, 2018 [3 favorites]


Bruce Lee does not need lightsabers to be cool.

No. This is still cool tho.

"How Good Really was Bruce Lee? Real Sparring Analysis,"

Well that can fuck right off, obviously.
posted by Artw at 5:15 PM on January 17, 2018 [6 favorites]


How Good Really was Shakespeare? Real Poetry Analysis
How Good Really was Michael Jordan? Real Basketball Analysis
How Good Really was Gauss? Real Real Analysis Analysis
posted by J.K. Seazer at 5:26 PM on January 17, 2018 [73 favorites]


It would be even cooler. OTOH could you imagine how insanely dangerous swinging around laser nunchaku would be? I mean any sort of light saber is clearly a terrifyingly dangerous weapon. But thinking of the number of times I hit myself in the nuts when I was a 12 year old ninja wannabe, well, I'm glad there weren't kyber crystals in them.
posted by Nelson at 5:30 PM on January 17, 2018 [5 favorites]


I love that Bruce Lee somehow retroactively sells the concept of Light-Chucks through sheer force of personality, despite being dead and totally unaware that he's wielding them. This is one of those scenes where the movie theater erupts into spontaneous applause.
posted by selfnoise at 5:54 PM on January 17, 2018 [5 favorites]


The laser nunchucks were, of course, developed from an earlier laser flail implement that farm laborers used to beat rice.
posted by um at 6:17 PM on January 17, 2018 [23 favorites]


Laser rice.
posted by The otter lady at 6:22 PM on January 17, 2018 [26 favorites]


Ok, count me in the camp of going from "Heh, that's kind of cool, I mean it's a light saber and Bruce Lee doing some cool jumping around" to full on turbo 12 year old "HOLY SHIT THAT'S SO FUCKING COOL!!" as soon as the chuck-sabers appeared. Like, I don't think I've made that particular face since I got a puppy as a kid it was that unexpectedly cool.

Bruce Lee's opponents reaction was pitch perfect, too. "Are you serious? Light saber nunchucks? That's just not fair, man. You'd have to be crazy to even pick those things up... oh. Well, just look at those things go. I'm so totally fucked."
posted by loquacious at 6:41 PM on January 17, 2018 [6 favorites]


To have lived to have seen this day.

*sniff*...
posted by mikelieman at 6:54 PM on January 17, 2018 [3 favorites]


My entire life has been but preparation for today, the day I watch this video.
posted by 4ster at 7:06 PM on January 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


There just has to be a timeline where Luke Skywalker was played by Bruce Lee.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 7:24 PM on January 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


How Good Really was Gauss? Real Real Analysis Analysis

I regret that I have but one favorite to give.

Please consider my favorite to encompass all the uncountable reals between 0 and 1.
posted by leotrotsky at 7:36 PM on January 17, 2018 [9 favorites]


Dream big. I want a timeline where Bruce Lee conceived and directed the Star Wars films.
posted by J.K. Seazer at 7:54 PM on January 17, 2018 [3 favorites]


Have laser nunchaku ever decided an IRL battle or fight of any consequence?
posted by zeek321 at 9:01 PM on January 17, 2018 [4 favorites]


Dream big.

Okay then. A timeline where Governor Bruce Lee (D) wins the presidential election and becomes the first Asian American president of the United States. Is that big enough?
posted by FJT at 9:02 PM on January 17, 2018 [8 favorites]


Oh and through sheer awesomeness he negotiates national independence for Hong Kong, Taiwan, and Tibet.
posted by FJT at 9:05 PM on January 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


There’ll never be a president from Seattle, but sure, dream big.
posted by Artw at 9:12 PM on January 17, 2018 [4 favorites]


A timeline where Governor Bruce Lee (D) wins the presidential election and becomes the first Asian American president of the United States. Is that big enough?

Only if I get to be First Gentleman.
posted by J.K. Seazer at 9:24 PM on January 17, 2018 [3 favorites]


Those aren't real light sabers. Real light sabers are heavy. Really heavy -- like, twice as heavy as the heaviest historical swords.
posted by lastobelus at 9:56 PM on January 17, 2018


Then why are they called light sabers?
posted by The otter lady at 10:10 PM on January 17, 2018 [7 favorites]


Yeah... no. The world didnt need this.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 10:18 PM on January 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


I just came to say that the world really needed this.
posted by not_on_display at 10:19 PM on January 17, 2018 [4 favorites]


i feel so vindicated that many of you seemed to have had the same reaction i had, which was "SHITBALLS NUNCHUK LIGHTSABERS"

i originally was going to title this post as "NUNCHUCK LIGHTSABERS". just that, and like the description would be like "shut up and watch this". i think having a less subdued title (taken from BoingBoing) and taking the description from the video itself have lowered your expectations to get the MAXIMUM EFFECT. (i also changed the spelling because nunchuck apparently is incorrect but google thinks otherwise but i always go with wikipedia on these matters).

also i watched the video about 500 times already and at one point you can tell he passes the lightsaber part of the nunchuk end he's holding right through his torso but WHO FUCKING CARES
posted by numaner at 10:57 PM on January 17, 2018 [4 favorites]


He’s just that strong in the force.
posted by Artw at 11:03 PM on January 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


I was going to dig up another exotic martial arts weapon to propose it be light‑saber‑ified, but then I realized it doesn't even need to have originally been a weapon because once it's a lightsaber it's deadly anyways. You could have, like, a lightspork or a lightsaxophone or a light‑curling‑broom. Maybe the next frontier is retouching the Star Wars franchise movies so that the Jedi and Sith are fighting with amusingly mundane objects.
posted by XMLicious at 11:28 PM on January 17, 2018 [3 favorites]


I throw my lightsaber grenade which explodes sending hundreds of tiny lightsabers flying in all directions but I’m unharmed because of my lightsaber exoskeleton which is made from lightsabers and therefore impervious to lightsabers.
posted by um at 12:48 AM on January 18, 2018 [4 favorites]


> Iris Gambol:
"ThoughtCo says "double-bladed yellow sabers are used exclusively by Jedi Temple Guards" so here I am with abrupt, strong feelings that Lee rates far above guard duty and must be using a set of nunchunks he found on the ground somewhere.

Also, this video bled into one titled "How Good Really was Bruce Lee? Real Sparring Analysis," which, buddy, guy, why."


Well, he obviously picked them up from the table behind him, left behind from where the baddie had been going all Order 66/General Grevious. How many more times will it take for villians to learn NEVER TAKE MEMENTOS?!?!?
posted by Samizdata at 1:10 AM on January 18, 2018 [1 favorite]


> J.K. Seazer:
"A timeline where Governor Bruce Lee (D) wins the presidential election and becomes the first Asian American president of the United States. Is that big enough?

Only if I get to be First Gentleman."


Only if I get dibs on First Lackey-Factotum.
posted by Samizdata at 1:12 AM on January 18, 2018


> numaner:
"i feel so vindicated that many of you seemed to have had the same reaction i had, which was "SHITBALLS NUNCHUK LIGHTSABERS"

i originally was going to title this post as "NUNCHUCK LIGHTSABERS". just that, and like the description would be like "shut up and watch this". i think having a less subdued title (taken from BoingBoing) and taking the description from the video itself have lowered your expectations to get the MAXIMUM EFFECT. (i also changed the spelling because nunchuck apparently is incorrect but google thinks otherwise but i always go with wikipedia on these matters).

also i watched the video about 500 times already and at one point you can tell he passes the lightsaber part of the nunchuk end he's holding right through his torso but WHO FUCKING CARES"


I didn't say it here, but here's a screenshot of an ongoing IM session with a buddy for when he wakes up.

https://i.imgur.com/a3VB1rQ.png

Also, I roll with "lightsabre" and not "lightsaber". Gotta problem? FIGHT ME!

(One guess how.)

(Spoiler: The Yoda sabre makes a wonderful off-hand sabre.)
posted by Samizdata at 1:15 AM on January 18, 2018 [1 favorite]


> XMLicious
> You could have, like, a lightspork or a lightsaxophone or a light‑curling‑broom.

YES YES! I want a Jedi Bard with a laser harp! And then it's connected to this massive Tesla Coil.... CARNAGE!
posted by flamewise at 2:51 AM on January 18, 2018 [3 favorites]


YES YES! I want a Jedi Bard with a laser harp!

Unfortunately they can only play a song with a maximum of ten notes ...one time only.
posted by leotrotsky at 4:32 AM on January 18, 2018 [2 favorites]


The Star Wars we should have had.
posted by 2N2222 at 5:01 AM on January 18, 2018


Also, I roll with "lightsabre" and not "lightsaber". Gotta problem? FIGHT ME!

Oh? *whistles loudly, a flying lightsaber suddenly appears with the loud crack of a sonic boom* I figured if Culture knife-missiles were cool, it'd be even cooler with a lightsaber.

You could have, like, a lightspork or a lightsaxophone or a light‑curling‑broom. Maybe the next frontier is retouching the Star Wars franchise movies so that the Jedi and Sith are fighting with amusingly mundane objects.

Lightcottonswab. Lightshoelaces. Lightthrowpillow. Lightbeltandsuspenders. Lightbong. Lightbicyclehelmet. Lightplumbus.
posted by loquacious at 7:30 AM on January 18, 2018 [4 favorites]


Lightsaber-chucks seem like a really, really bad idea. Cool visuals, though.
posted by tdismukes at 7:46 AM on January 18, 2018


Lightsaber-chucks seem like a really, really bad idea.

Not if the Force is with you and you are one with the Force.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 7:59 AM on January 18, 2018 [4 favorites]


lightsaber exoskeleton which is made from lightsabers and therefore impervious to lightsabers

Ahem. Cortosis.
posted by tobascodagama at 8:30 AM on January 18, 2018 [1 favorite]


Lightplumbus.

For homemade lightplumbuses, always push your lightdinglebop through a lightgrumbo so your lightfleeb doesn't fill up with its own juice. Or you'll find out how badly lighthizzards can get in the way when you're trying to flag down a freelance lightblamph through a handful of lightchumbles. Spitting lightschlami optional.
posted by numaner at 8:35 AM on January 18, 2018 [1 favorite]


I want a Jedi Bard with a laser harp! And then it's connected to this massive Tesla Coil

Allow me to introduce Susumu Hirasawa.
posted by J.K. Seazer at 9:10 AM on January 18, 2018 [1 favorite]


Jarre does the laser harp better. Must be wearing cortosis gloves. (I submit Jarre's laser harp is just as AWESOME as Bruce Lee with light nunchaku.)
posted by Nelson at 9:15 AM on January 18, 2018


I want a Jedi Bard with a laser harp! And then it's connected to this massive Tesla Coil


Allow me to introduce you to my favorite scene from Kung Fu Hustle...

Now if someone makes a lightsaber mashup to that we can just shut everything down for the rest of the day and all go outside and smile in the sunshine for an afternoon, because we will have achieved a perfect thing.
posted by 1f2frfbf at 10:25 AM on January 18, 2018 [4 favorites]


> loquacious:
"Also, I roll with "lightsabre" and not "lightsaber". Gotta problem? FIGHT ME!

Oh? *whistles loudly, a flying lightsaber suddenly appears with the loud crack of a sonic boom* I figured if Culture knife-missiles were cool, it'd be even cooler with a lightsaber.

You could have, like, a lightspork or a lightsaxophone or a light‑curling‑broom. Maybe the next frontier is retouching the Star Wars franchise movies so that the Jedi and Sith are fighting with amusingly mundane objects.

Lightcottonswab. Lightshoelaces. Lightthrowpillow. Lightbeltandsuspenders. Lightbong. Lightbicyclehelmet. Lightplumbus."


Yeah, no. Culture may have antigrav, Star Wars doesn't. Besides, I can Force throw the sabre missile at you.
posted by Samizdata at 10:43 AM on January 18, 2018


My chromosomes are lightsabers.

We warned you to stop eating glowsticks.

Yeah, no. Culture may have antigrav, Star Wars doesn't. Besides, I can Force throw the sabre missile at you.

Nuh uh. The brains of my lightsabermissile is actually an AI Jedi mind. Good luck force throwing a Jedi shaped like a missile that can think a billion times faster than wet meat.

Besides, I obviously have a working portal gun. I'll glue Captain Kirk's toupee to Lexx's shiny metal ass if it amuses me.
posted by loquacious at 11:42 AM on January 18, 2018 [3 favorites]


> You could have, like, a lightspork or a lightsaxophone or a light‑curling‑broom.

Countdown to someone doing this to some Jackie Chan movies. Also this is reminding me of the light bridge jokes from The Dig. Light lunch, light conversation.
posted by lucidium at 7:06 PM on January 18, 2018


Culture may have antigrav, Star Wars doesn't.

Landspeeders, multiple hovering bots, hundreds of rocks floating above the ground ...

Star Wars has any floaty thing that makes the scene cooler looking.
posted by zippy at 9:44 AM on January 19, 2018 [2 favorites]






Star Wars barely has physics to bend though.
posted by Artw at 12:34 PM on January 19, 2018 [4 favorites]


« Older The Greatest City in the World   |   This Couple Who Met On Neopets As Children Fell In... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments