The bachelorettes of Nashville
March 29, 2018 2:59 PM Subscribe
"Unlike the traditional bachelor party, whose stated allure is a final, debauched moment of release before settling into monogamy, the bachelorette party — at least in its contemporary iteration — offers a last chance to be a public center of attention in a socially acceptable way. Crucially, that unruly spectacle — the moment when you get to feel like Britney, or believe you can dance like Beyoncé — is a plane ride, a long drive, and a world away from your “normal” life. Some of what happens in Nashville stays on Instagram, but most of what happens gets mothballed in the memory of your friends as that weekend when shit got crazy."
Some great quotes in here:
"That’s part of the allure: the ability to try on a culture while avoiding accusations of appropriation." . But shopping on a girls trip is less about purchasing and more about browsing and imagining
For some people, Nashville still has the blend of afford-ability, authenticity they're somewhat familiar with very familiar with but also being different - country music), a new place that they haven't been to before, and also not extremely 'touristy' while having the appearance (and perhaps the reality as well) of not being focused on hedonistic pleasures and excess (New Orleans, Vegas - HAH! - I had written this part before even reaching that part of the article where both are mentione)
My sisters was a part of these trip, going to a Jimmy Buffet concert for a long weekend to celebrate a friend's 40th. I wouldn't have joined them in a million years.
On the other hand, as the article says, I'm one of the white millennials who'll spend money on travel and experiences over goods like clothes and an expensive house (we could probably afford 150% our current rent but would rather spend that traveling and actually pay down student loan debt and saving $).
posted by fizzix at 4:00 PM on March 29, 2018 [5 favorites]
"That’s part of the allure: the ability to try on a culture while avoiding accusations of appropriation." . But shopping on a girls trip is less about purchasing and more about browsing and imagining
For some people, Nashville still has the blend of afford-ability, authenticity they're somewhat familiar with very familiar with but also being different - country music), a new place that they haven't been to before, and also not extremely 'touristy' while having the appearance (and perhaps the reality as well) of not being focused on hedonistic pleasures and excess (New Orleans, Vegas - HAH! - I had written this part before even reaching that part of the article where both are mentione)
My sisters was a part of these trip, going to a Jimmy Buffet concert for a long weekend to celebrate a friend's 40th. I wouldn't have joined them in a million years.
On the other hand, as the article says, I'm one of the white millennials who'll spend money on travel and experiences over goods like clothes and an expensive house (we could probably afford 150% our current rent but would rather spend that traveling and actually pay down student loan debt and saving $).
posted by fizzix at 4:00 PM on March 29, 2018 [5 favorites]
As the kids say, "Nashville - so relatable!"
But it is true that there's a Vegas backlash and New York is straight-up expensive so where else are nice midwestern/mid-southern bachelorettes supposed to go? Cincinnati? Austin's too far. And, as the article indicates, Nashville is apparently going way, way out of its way to cater to these types of tourists. Hasn't Nashville been a tourist destination since forever? If these days it's Instagram whistlestops instead of the Opry, so what? Every tourists dollars aree the same shade of green.
posted by GuyZero at 4:33 PM on March 29, 2018
But it is true that there's a Vegas backlash and New York is straight-up expensive so where else are nice midwestern/mid-southern bachelorettes supposed to go? Cincinnati? Austin's too far. And, as the article indicates, Nashville is apparently going way, way out of its way to cater to these types of tourists. Hasn't Nashville been a tourist destination since forever? If these days it's Instagram whistlestops instead of the Opry, so what? Every tourists dollars aree the same shade of green.
posted by GuyZero at 4:33 PM on March 29, 2018
Bachelorette parties are Big Business in Key West, and it's sometimes like rival gangs of seven or eight groups simultaneously occupying Duval Street. It's cute and fun at four in the afternoon, but not so much by 11:00 pm.
We're glad for the business, but after a couple or three years of every week the same, the novelty is wearing thin. At least I know which bikinis go best with a bridal veil now...
posted by halfbuckaroo at 4:54 PM on March 29, 2018
We're glad for the business, but after a couple or three years of every week the same, the novelty is wearing thin. At least I know which bikinis go best with a bridal veil now...
posted by halfbuckaroo at 4:54 PM on March 29, 2018
I was walking around at night in Brussels, Belgium. I saw some laughing young women huddled around a little fire on a small dark grassy lot. I walked over and asked what they were up to. One said, "She's getting married tomorrow, and it's a tradition for the bridesmaids to burn their underwear behind City Hall."
posted by StickyCarpet at 5:24 PM on March 29, 2018 [35 favorites]
posted by StickyCarpet at 5:24 PM on March 29, 2018 [35 favorites]
I think this article is a lot less nuanced than I expect from AHP. There is the way Nashville is growing and bending itself around tourism, sure -- but the focus on bachelorettes specifically is in part because cities are, as a rule, not built around or for women, and now Nashville is choosing to do this. (After all, a bachelor party where a bunch of men get drunk and harass women is indistinguishable from any other night.) And this comes off weirdly sexist -- oh, those silly women with their excuses to go have a vacation weekend with their friends and do all these female-coded things.
I think I wish the article had been more specifically about how tourism warps Nashville (like many other growing cities), and perhaps how Nashville has decided to cater specifically to women in its growth, unlike the history of most cities with tourism. Instead the article is sort of "things bachelorette parties do" and "a city built around tourism is harmful for residents" and both are true, but they are not related in the way the article is suggesting.
(I know there are related issues with the state not allowing the city to make ordinances around Airbnb that were left out entirely.)
posted by jeather at 5:52 PM on March 29, 2018 [26 favorites]
I think I wish the article had been more specifically about how tourism warps Nashville (like many other growing cities), and perhaps how Nashville has decided to cater specifically to women in its growth, unlike the history of most cities with tourism. Instead the article is sort of "things bachelorette parties do" and "a city built around tourism is harmful for residents" and both are true, but they are not related in the way the article is suggesting.
(I know there are related issues with the state not allowing the city to make ordinances around Airbnb that were left out entirely.)
posted by jeather at 5:52 PM on March 29, 2018 [26 favorites]
I would rather spit tacks than do anything like this.
If I am ever fortunate enough to get married, I already know that my bridal party would consist of only two people - and what I would want is the three of us to go on a three or four-day road trip where we look at tacky roadside shit, fight over the radio and have at least one instance where we eat in a diner with questionable sanitation.
One of those two people had me in her bridal party. She didn't want any kind of bachelorette party - she didn't even want a bridal shower ("M and I have lived together for three years and we already have enough shit, what we need is a bridal tag sale"). Our "bachelorette party" consisted of her, me, the two other bridesmaids and a guy friend all doing Kahlua shots in her living room until 1 am. The big drama came when she took me aside at one point and quietly told me that contrary to what she'd said about "I don't want to have a maid of honor because you're all equal," that she wanted me to be the maid of honor and didn't want me to do any work, so she waited until then to tell me and "this way you just have to worry about stuff tomorrow." We cried, the bridesmaid I didn't like sulked, no one got arrested or spent too much, it was perfect.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:00 PM on March 29, 2018 [6 favorites]
If I am ever fortunate enough to get married, I already know that my bridal party would consist of only two people - and what I would want is the three of us to go on a three or four-day road trip where we look at tacky roadside shit, fight over the radio and have at least one instance where we eat in a diner with questionable sanitation.
One of those two people had me in her bridal party. She didn't want any kind of bachelorette party - she didn't even want a bridal shower ("M and I have lived together for three years and we already have enough shit, what we need is a bridal tag sale"). Our "bachelorette party" consisted of her, me, the two other bridesmaids and a guy friend all doing Kahlua shots in her living room until 1 am. The big drama came when she took me aside at one point and quietly told me that contrary to what she'd said about "I don't want to have a maid of honor because you're all equal," that she wanted me to be the maid of honor and didn't want me to do any work, so she waited until then to tell me and "this way you just have to worry about stuff tomorrow." We cried, the bridesmaid I didn't like sulked, no one got arrested or spent too much, it was perfect.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:00 PM on March 29, 2018 [6 favorites]
This brings to mind a modern vocabulary question: is there a word for the feminine equivalent of 'bro'? 'Sis'? Frat boy stereotype:bro::Sorority girl stereotype:____
As in, "I don't wanna have one of those Vegas strip-club bachelor parties, that's such a 'bro' cliche." vs "I don't wanna have one of those Nashville instagram bachelorette parties, that's such a 'sis' thing."
(see also: Ugh, is Meaghan coming? All we ever do is end up babysitting her after she gets White Girl Wasted, I'm not in the mood for her ___ nonsense all weekend.)
posted by bartleby at 6:30 PM on March 29, 2018
As in, "I don't wanna have one of those Vegas strip-club bachelor parties, that's such a 'bro' cliche." vs "I don't wanna have one of those Nashville instagram bachelorette parties, that's such a 'sis' thing."
(see also: Ugh, is Meaghan coming? All we ever do is end up babysitting her after she gets White Girl Wasted, I'm not in the mood for her ___ nonsense all weekend.)
posted by bartleby at 6:30 PM on March 29, 2018
I'm going to be in Nashville next weekend. What bars are safe zones from the Bachelorette parties?
posted by COD at 6:39 PM on March 29, 2018
posted by COD at 6:39 PM on March 29, 2018
@bartleby: when I was in high school the equivalent of what you are trying to describe was "bro-hoe"
posted by gucci mane at 6:42 PM on March 29, 2018
posted by gucci mane at 6:42 PM on March 29, 2018
The stereotype for both genders was illustrated in any music video by Kingspade or Kottonmouth Kings. Keep in mind, this was 10 years ago, and I imagine the style is different now, but the concept is still applied.
posted by gucci mane at 6:43 PM on March 29, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by gucci mane at 6:43 PM on March 29, 2018 [1 favorite]
So many photos of shiny happy blonde white women. The photo that includes a panhandler is telling though.
posted by Napoleonic Terrier at 6:45 PM on March 29, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Napoleonic Terrier at 6:45 PM on March 29, 2018 [1 favorite]
The longer I strip, the wearier I become about bachelor and bachelorette parties. I should feel bummed about the money leaving the clubs for civilian environments — especially given how shitty the money has become in the industry as a whole — but I don’t. Thank the heavens for my regulars.
Background: A fair number of all-female bachelorette parties celebrate at female-stripper strip clubs. And obviously, many all-male bachelor parties do too. While there are certainly lots of “tame” bachelor and bachelorette parties that were never going to go to a strip club to begin with, I do think there are a fair amount that would have ended up a strip club and are now opting for a getaway like the ones Nashville offers.
There are two main problems that cause my weariness.
The first problem is old as time: group think, and the unfortunate tendency to feel comfortable being disrespectful when you’re with your pack. No one is surprised that people (men AND women) can be shitty when backed up by a bunch of comrades, especially when you add liquor and sexual attraction to the equation.
The second problem is newer: this idea that it’s not real fun unless you’re posting photos on social media of the fun. (As emphasized in the article, so many of the activities are designed for social media-worthy moments.) It’s especially problematic with my generation, wherein so many young people come to strip clubs primarily to act out music videos — and more importantly, to be seen acting out music videos.
As a general rule, strippers do not want to in your photos, videos, or otherwise depicted in any form on your social media. Keep your phone in your goddamn pocket. If you must take it out to send an urgent text message, you should step away from the stages and the girls, and the camera should aways be pointed at the floor. Do not take a photo inside or in the immediate vicinity outside a strip club, EVER. Do you think you are a special snowflake who has found an exception to this rule? You are wrong. There is no exception to this rule.
For me, I view it as a consent issue. I consented to take my clothes off for you and the people in this room. I did not consent to take my clothes off for everyone in your Snapchat feed. And no, I do not trust you when you tell me that it’s all cool because you weren’t sending a photo, just a text message. All I know about you so far is that you are the kind of person who pulls out your phone during the stage set of a stripper, and when she asserts a boundary, you tell her that she doesn’t need to assert that boundary.
But back to the two main problems that cause my weariness: The problems are compounded “last chance to adventure” sensation that seem to lead otherwise normal decent-ish people to drink a little more, yell a little louder, dance a little crazier … and it snowballs from there.
To be fair, the “last chance to adventure” sensation is what prompts a lot of them to come to a strip club in the first place and spend money on my naked body. But it also prompts them to be pretty awful to me and my naked body.
For example: This “adventure” extends to getting kicked out of a strip club. People make jokes, treating it like some badge of honor. Outside the club, these jokes are made in front of me by people who do not know I strip … All the while, I’m thinking, “Do you realize just how awful you have to be to get kicked out of a strip club? In the overwhelming majority of those cases, the asshole sexually assaulted someone.” (Oh, and female customers sexually assault us, too.)
I should end this by saying: Not all bachelor and bachelorette parties are awful. A lot of them are actually pretty cool: physically respectful of our bodies, financially respectful of our time, and generally sensitive to the unique privacy issues that strippers (and our other customers) deal with.
But enough of them are awful that I read this article and think: Thanks, Nashville. You can keep them.
posted by Peppermint Snowflake at 6:46 PM on March 29, 2018 [39 favorites]
Background: A fair number of all-female bachelorette parties celebrate at female-stripper strip clubs. And obviously, many all-male bachelor parties do too. While there are certainly lots of “tame” bachelor and bachelorette parties that were never going to go to a strip club to begin with, I do think there are a fair amount that would have ended up a strip club and are now opting for a getaway like the ones Nashville offers.
There are two main problems that cause my weariness.
The first problem is old as time: group think, and the unfortunate tendency to feel comfortable being disrespectful when you’re with your pack. No one is surprised that people (men AND women) can be shitty when backed up by a bunch of comrades, especially when you add liquor and sexual attraction to the equation.
The second problem is newer: this idea that it’s not real fun unless you’re posting photos on social media of the fun. (As emphasized in the article, so many of the activities are designed for social media-worthy moments.) It’s especially problematic with my generation, wherein so many young people come to strip clubs primarily to act out music videos — and more importantly, to be seen acting out music videos.
As a general rule, strippers do not want to in your photos, videos, or otherwise depicted in any form on your social media. Keep your phone in your goddamn pocket. If you must take it out to send an urgent text message, you should step away from the stages and the girls, and the camera should aways be pointed at the floor. Do not take a photo inside or in the immediate vicinity outside a strip club, EVER. Do you think you are a special snowflake who has found an exception to this rule? You are wrong. There is no exception to this rule.
For me, I view it as a consent issue. I consented to take my clothes off for you and the people in this room. I did not consent to take my clothes off for everyone in your Snapchat feed. And no, I do not trust you when you tell me that it’s all cool because you weren’t sending a photo, just a text message. All I know about you so far is that you are the kind of person who pulls out your phone during the stage set of a stripper, and when she asserts a boundary, you tell her that she doesn’t need to assert that boundary.
But back to the two main problems that cause my weariness: The problems are compounded “last chance to adventure” sensation that seem to lead otherwise normal decent-ish people to drink a little more, yell a little louder, dance a little crazier … and it snowballs from there.
To be fair, the “last chance to adventure” sensation is what prompts a lot of them to come to a strip club in the first place and spend money on my naked body. But it also prompts them to be pretty awful to me and my naked body.
For example: This “adventure” extends to getting kicked out of a strip club. People make jokes, treating it like some badge of honor. Outside the club, these jokes are made in front of me by people who do not know I strip … All the while, I’m thinking, “Do you realize just how awful you have to be to get kicked out of a strip club? In the overwhelming majority of those cases, the asshole sexually assaulted someone.” (Oh, and female customers sexually assault us, too.)
I should end this by saying: Not all bachelor and bachelorette parties are awful. A lot of them are actually pretty cool: physically respectful of our bodies, financially respectful of our time, and generally sensitive to the unique privacy issues that strippers (and our other customers) deal with.
But enough of them are awful that I read this article and think: Thanks, Nashville. You can keep them.
posted by Peppermint Snowflake at 6:46 PM on March 29, 2018 [39 favorites]
The article, and the one it links in the Nashville Scene, are good.
I've run into quite a few bachelorette parties just like in the photos, but I've never lived in a place where they were a primary focus of the nightlife. But my biggest reaction is always that if going out, getting trashed with your friends, and engaging in some mildly salacious penis-themed decorations represents freedom and a "last chance," your life is too constrained to begin with. That has to feel claustrophobic and stifling, and no wonder they want to yell "woo!" and ride around town for a night.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:53 PM on March 29, 2018 [5 favorites]
I've run into quite a few bachelorette parties just like in the photos, but I've never lived in a place where they were a primary focus of the nightlife. But my biggest reaction is always that if going out, getting trashed with your friends, and engaging in some mildly salacious penis-themed decorations represents freedom and a "last chance," your life is too constrained to begin with. That has to feel claustrophobic and stifling, and no wonder they want to yell "woo!" and ride around town for a night.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:53 PM on March 29, 2018 [5 favorites]
My batchelor party was my brother, a bunch of seminary classmates, an engineering post-graduate, and I watching Gonzaga play in the NCAA tournament in a large hotel room. Everyone was in their bed and asleep by 11:00. I may have even visited the snack machine.
So much debauchery. It was like we were The Who or something. How did Abingdon, Virginia ever recover?
posted by 4ster at 6:56 PM on March 29, 2018 [1 favorite]
So much debauchery. It was like we were The Who or something. How did Abingdon, Virginia ever recover?
posted by 4ster at 6:56 PM on March 29, 2018 [1 favorite]
FWIW, I didn't read this article as overly critical. These are pretty much the same women AHP defended a few years ago. I'd rather jump off a cliff than attend one of these parties, but it's not like clubs frown upon being visited by packs of young, fun-seeking straight women. (Keep them out of gay bars, obviously.) I think AHP focused on the concern of changing the neighborhood because she is a fairly responsible writer with this stuff, but I'm not sure I agree with her. It's always sad to see luxury condos take over an interesting place, but Nashville-the-city was never Austin. (Possibly this is because none of its colleges are large enough to exert a UT-Austin influence.) A decade ago, it was a sprawling city-suburb made out of health insurance companies and banks. Some of the health insurance companies have been pushed out to the suburbs, but there was never that much of a centralized Nashville to start with!
posted by grandiloquiet at 7:09 PM on March 29, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by grandiloquiet at 7:09 PM on March 29, 2018 [1 favorite]
This brings to mind a modern vocabulary question: is there a word for the feminine equivalent of 'bro'? 'Sis'? Frat boy stereotype:bro::Sorority girl stereotype:____
"Woo girl", I would think.
posted by soundguy99 at 9:08 PM on March 29, 2018 [13 favorites]
"Woo girl", I would think.
posted by soundguy99 at 9:08 PM on March 29, 2018 [13 favorites]
And this comes off weirdly sexist -- oh, those silly women with their excuses to go have a vacation weekend with their friends and do all these female-coded things.
I think I wish the article had been more specifically about how tourism warps Nashville (like many other growing cities), and perhaps how Nashville has decided to cater specifically to women in its growth, unlike the history of most cities with tourism.
I think one of the major points of the article, while not necessarily stating it super-bluntly (the Scene article Dip Flash links to is a bit more direct), is that the bach business - whether they intend to or not - is catering to white women of a certain economic class and socio-cultural background. The section about Draper James is the main thrust of this - the store that "rich moms from the suburbs" love is located in what used to be the "bad" aka "black" part of town. So while it may be a form of "woman-centered" tourism & growth, it's leading to the same Gentrification 101 issues that never seem to get resolved or addressed - when you make an urban area "safe" for white folks with money, what happens to the POC and the working poor and lower class and the young creatives who used to live in that area, and who often in fact made the area a desirable place to live by virtue of being a melting pot of cultures with a variety of unique stores and galleries and restaurants?
These are pretty much the same women AHP defended a few years ago. [...] I think AHP focused on the concern of changing the neighborhood because she is a fairly responsible writer with this stuff
I'm not reading the article linked as quite defending these women so much as pointing out that the ire directed at them is missing the real target - the patriarchal-capitalist society that encourages the easy gender-coded lifestyle purchases. And, again, I think a large part of AHP's concern about the bach parties is the race & class issues that are going unexamined in the rush to make a buck. From near the end of the article:
I think I wish the article had been more specifically about how tourism warps Nashville (like many other growing cities), and perhaps how Nashville has decided to cater specifically to women in its growth, unlike the history of most cities with tourism.
I think one of the major points of the article, while not necessarily stating it super-bluntly (the Scene article Dip Flash links to is a bit more direct), is that the bach business - whether they intend to or not - is catering to white women of a certain economic class and socio-cultural background. The section about Draper James is the main thrust of this - the store that "rich moms from the suburbs" love is located in what used to be the "bad" aka "black" part of town. So while it may be a form of "woman-centered" tourism & growth, it's leading to the same Gentrification 101 issues that never seem to get resolved or addressed - when you make an urban area "safe" for white folks with money, what happens to the POC and the working poor and lower class and the young creatives who used to live in that area, and who often in fact made the area a desirable place to live by virtue of being a melting pot of cultures with a variety of unique stores and galleries and restaurants?
These are pretty much the same women AHP defended a few years ago. [...] I think AHP focused on the concern of changing the neighborhood because she is a fairly responsible writer with this stuff
I'm not reading the article linked as quite defending these women so much as pointing out that the ire directed at them is missing the real target - the patriarchal-capitalist society that encourages the easy gender-coded lifestyle purchases. And, again, I think a large part of AHP's concern about the bach parties is the race & class issues that are going unexamined in the rush to make a buck. From near the end of the article:
"Like so many others of my age and professional class, I’ve taken these weekend trips. I’ve posted these Instagrams. I’ve been on similar bachelorette parties. I’ve had fun and I’ve documented myself doing it, providing proof of something for both myself and others. I don’t think women claiming time for themselves is wrong; I don’t necessarily think women taking up public space is, either. But watching the bachelorettes of Nashville against the backdrop of citywide gentrification reminded me of how mindlessly I did all of it. Friction, resistance of any kind — whiteness, youth, and money removed it all. Which again begs the question: Who can have a city bend to their will, and whose will is bent or blatantly ignored in the service of others?"posted by soundguy99 at 9:53 PM on March 29, 2018 [9 favorites]
But watching the bachelorettes of Nashville against the backdrop of citywide gentrification reminded me of how mindlessly I did all of it. Friction, resistance of any kind — whiteness, youth, and money removed it all. Which again begs the question: Who can have a city bend to their will, and whose will is bent or blatantly ignored in the service of others?"That same bit stood out to me, soundguy99. I live in California wine country and we get a lot of bachelor/bachelorette (I refuse to say "bach") party weekends here. I loved the author's description of the groups -- "Even without the matching clothing, you can spot a likely bachelorette party from 100 yards away: a group of (almost entirely) white women, wearing nice jeans, cute tops, and fashionable boots, their hair styled in the long, beachy waves" -- though here it's often sundresses rather than jeans. And I contrast how frictionlessly they do move through the area, even though they take up so much time and space and make so much noise -- in contrast to the group of older Black women who were thrown off the Napa Valley Wine Train a few years ago for laughing too loudly.
posted by lazuli at 6:28 AM on March 30, 2018 [8 favorites]
These are pretty much the same women AHP defended a few years ago.
Right! Which is why I found this article surprising. She did avoid the "this sounds horrible, I as a woman am much better than this kind of being a woman" trap -- whether or not this kind of trip sounds like fun, it's easy to edge into misogyny mocking it -- but it was still weirdly on the edge there.
I think one of the major points of the article, while not necessarily stating it super-bluntly (the Scene article Dip Flash links to is a bit more direct), is that the bach business - whether they intend to or not - is catering to white women of a certain economic class and socio-cultural background.
This is true! But, again, this differs from other gentrifying cities only in the WOMEN part, and I think that she really dropped that. (I'm sure it's also catering to white men in that group -- but we don't know, because it's being ignored.)
So while it may be a form of "woman-centered" tourism & growth, it's leading to the same Gentrification 101 issues that never seem to get resolved or addressed - when you make an urban area "safe" for white folks with money, what happens to the POC and the working poor and lower class and the young creatives who used to live in that area, and who often in fact made the area a desirable place to live by virtue of being a melting pot of cultures with a variety of unique stores and galleries and restaurants?
Sure, but I think this is a more generous reading than the article deserves. There is probably an interesting discussion of gentrification as affected by tourism specifically, and how a city that also is looking for white women with spending money makes different choices than other cities that are dealing with gentrification as affected by different groups of tourists or by other kinds of groups -- but this article didn't go there, it just sort of waved at that topic.
I just think this article wasn't as good as what I expect from AHP. There are a number of ways it could have been great, but instead it spent most of its words discussing the things bachelorette parties do, which, let's be real, is always roundly mocked because everything women do is.
posted by jeather at 7:24 AM on March 30, 2018 [3 favorites]
Right! Which is why I found this article surprising. She did avoid the "this sounds horrible, I as a woman am much better than this kind of being a woman" trap -- whether or not this kind of trip sounds like fun, it's easy to edge into misogyny mocking it -- but it was still weirdly on the edge there.
I think one of the major points of the article, while not necessarily stating it super-bluntly (the Scene article Dip Flash links to is a bit more direct), is that the bach business - whether they intend to or not - is catering to white women of a certain economic class and socio-cultural background.
This is true! But, again, this differs from other gentrifying cities only in the WOMEN part, and I think that she really dropped that. (I'm sure it's also catering to white men in that group -- but we don't know, because it's being ignored.)
So while it may be a form of "woman-centered" tourism & growth, it's leading to the same Gentrification 101 issues that never seem to get resolved or addressed - when you make an urban area "safe" for white folks with money, what happens to the POC and the working poor and lower class and the young creatives who used to live in that area, and who often in fact made the area a desirable place to live by virtue of being a melting pot of cultures with a variety of unique stores and galleries and restaurants?
Sure, but I think this is a more generous reading than the article deserves. There is probably an interesting discussion of gentrification as affected by tourism specifically, and how a city that also is looking for white women with spending money makes different choices than other cities that are dealing with gentrification as affected by different groups of tourists or by other kinds of groups -- but this article didn't go there, it just sort of waved at that topic.
I just think this article wasn't as good as what I expect from AHP. There are a number of ways it could have been great, but instead it spent most of its words discussing the things bachelorette parties do, which, let's be real, is always roundly mocked because everything women do is.
posted by jeather at 7:24 AM on March 30, 2018 [3 favorites]
Las Vegas is too expensive, New Orleans is still destroyed. Hence, Nashville. The article got a bit old to me - as though a 'gulch' in the middle of town and 'Needle Park' are preferable to people having gentle fun. They didn't even mention any police problems (ie: real problems) but rather social things like too many toy pensies and gentrification -but 'gentrification' is doing too much heavy lifting - did they displace rats in the gulch? Is that the same as displacing actual residents in other areas that gentrified?
But then of course cheap gas and highways (my god) get romanticized 'highways democratized travel'. Oh did they? I'm pretty sure cutting a highway through Nashville to 'democratize' travel had some effects too, but they are 'history' now that has is celebrated. Weird how that gets short shrift.
posted by The_Vegetables at 8:00 AM on March 30, 2018 [1 favorite]
But then of course cheap gas and highways (my god) get romanticized 'highways democratized travel'. Oh did they? I'm pretty sure cutting a highway through Nashville to 'democratize' travel had some effects too, but they are 'history' now that has is celebrated. Weird how that gets short shrift.
posted by The_Vegetables at 8:00 AM on March 30, 2018 [1 favorite]
Huh. I like them because that's about how fast I want the cars to move in the high-street areas they tend to be in. No-one should get to blare too loudly, including the Ducks, especially when being "wacky".
posted by clew at 2:28 PM on March 30, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by clew at 2:28 PM on March 30, 2018 [1 favorite]
How did Abingdon, Virginia ever recover?
To be fair, the Shoney's in Abingdon can get preeeeeeeety wild!
posted by chainsofreedom at 7:50 PM on March 30, 2018 [1 favorite]
To be fair, the Shoney's in Abingdon can get preeeeeeeety wild!
posted by chainsofreedom at 7:50 PM on March 30, 2018 [1 favorite]
Anne Helen Petersen wrote about how she worked on the article and it addresses some of the criticism raised in this thread:
Crucially, I've also attended destination bachelorettes — which is what helped me to [not] think of these women as gross, or a social problem, but a symptom of larger shifts, and an opportunity for introspection.posted by moody cow at 9:17 PM on April 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
Which is why I understand the criticism that I'm just making fun of "basic bitches," but ultimately reject it. One of my bosses tweeted the story with the line "Always read @annehelen on what white women are up to," and that's how I view this story: an exploration and interrogation of what white women do with their leisure time, and how they do or do not consider its effects. (I also reject the criticism that it's misogynistic — I mention several times that there are just as many bachelor parties, but they're invisible and not considered a social problem, which is worth thinking about in and of itself).
I do not think she is making fun of them, exactly, but she's ignoring a bunch of things in the article, and her defense is mostly "I was not at all misogynistic, after all I mention bachelor parties happen too", which actually makes me think worse of the article.
posted by jeather at 8:48 AM on April 2, 2018
posted by jeather at 8:48 AM on April 2, 2018
Yeah, she left all the interesting ideas out to be catty about people standing in front of murals and eating brunch.
"bachelor parties, but they're invisible and not considered a social problem" - you mean other than the rapes, DWIs, fighting, and assaults, but since it's all done away from downtown its fine.
posted by The_Vegetables at 12:14 PM on April 3, 2018
"bachelor parties, but they're invisible and not considered a social problem" - you mean other than the rapes, DWIs, fighting, and assaults, but since it's all done away from downtown its fine.
posted by The_Vegetables at 12:14 PM on April 3, 2018
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The itinerary I was sent by the maid of honor, who was a much more enthusiastic organizer, involved an evening of skinny-dipping followed by a prayer breakfast. As... well, I'm white, but I'm butch enough and queer enough and broke enough and not-this enough to have felt like a pit bull among the salukis whenever I interacted with the bridal party in the year following. I would have happily gnawed off a hand to avoid this, because I was and am very sure that the presence of my cheerfully queer, not-that-kind-of-very-narrow-brand-of-femme, broke self would have made everyone else vaguely uncomfortable and me absolutely miserable.
Of course, I had to fight like hell to get out of it, too--I suppose the expectation was that I ought to have come, and maybe grown my hair out, and just tried to fit into the whole damn Instagram-ready, custom-hashtagged extravaganza, right there in the slot that was prepared for me as the Sister of the Bride.
I'm still quietly bitter and hurt about the whole thing, but the sheer cookie-cutter nature of it had me marveling.
posted by sciatrix at 3:51 PM on March 29, 2018 [17 favorites]