Excuse my beauty!
April 10, 2018 8:14 PM Subscribe
Trans Navajo badass, Stephanie Yellowhair, has passed away at 41 (her obituary is the forth one down).
”Her refusal to back down, to be anything other than who she was, helped turn her into a defiant role model for many still trying to understand who they were and what it means to be different.”
She gained viral fame for her sass and relisience in the face of an asshole police officer in an episode of Cops, a video that is both a heartache and a joy to watch, for it's full of transphobia, but also gloriously quotable one-liners..
”Her refusal to back down, to be anything other than who she was, helped turn her into a defiant role model for many still trying to understand who they were and what it means to be different.”
She gained viral fame for her sass and relisience in the face of an asshole police officer in an episode of Cops, a video that is both a heartache and a joy to watch, for it's full of transphobia, but also gloriously quotable one-liners..
.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 8:33 PM on April 10, 2018
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 8:33 PM on April 10, 2018
.
This is a tragedy on so many levels. I had a trans/Native American patient who died in a rent by the hour motel on Aurora ave here in Seattle. I remember having to sign the death certificate and not knowing what to put. Cardiac arrest? Drug overdose? The state wasn’t going to spend the money on an autopsy for another marginalized nobody that just died anonymously from being a marginalized nobody. Her death certificate sat on my desk for days. Eventually her sister called me up because the funeral home wouldn’t release her body for a funeral without the death certificate. “Listen,” her sister said “You and I both know what killed her. We don’t care what the death certificate says. We just want to bring our sister home and mourn.”
I signed off on her certificate what I knew:
ALCOHOL ABUSE
due to or as a consequence of:
GENDER DYSPHORIA
other contributing conditions:
NATIVE AMERICAN
She didn’t matter to the cops or the medical examiner or the motel owner that found her but she mattered to me and she mattered to her family.
Someday when all people are free and can celebrate their gender, religion, sexual orientation safely with acceptance, we will truly understand what the Stephanie’s (my patient was also called Stephanie) lived and died through and no amount of sorrow or shame will excuse us.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:28 PM on April 10, 2018 [91 favorites]
This is a tragedy on so many levels. I had a trans/Native American patient who died in a rent by the hour motel on Aurora ave here in Seattle. I remember having to sign the death certificate and not knowing what to put. Cardiac arrest? Drug overdose? The state wasn’t going to spend the money on an autopsy for another marginalized nobody that just died anonymously from being a marginalized nobody. Her death certificate sat on my desk for days. Eventually her sister called me up because the funeral home wouldn’t release her body for a funeral without the death certificate. “Listen,” her sister said “You and I both know what killed her. We don’t care what the death certificate says. We just want to bring our sister home and mourn.”
I signed off on her certificate what I knew:
ALCOHOL ABUSE
due to or as a consequence of:
GENDER DYSPHORIA
other contributing conditions:
NATIVE AMERICAN
She didn’t matter to the cops or the medical examiner or the motel owner that found her but she mattered to me and she mattered to her family.
Someday when all people are free and can celebrate their gender, religion, sexual orientation safely with acceptance, we will truly understand what the Stephanie’s (my patient was also called Stephanie) lived and died through and no amount of sorrow or shame will excuse us.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:28 PM on April 10, 2018 [91 favorites]
.
posted by limeonaire at 9:45 PM on April 10, 2018
posted by limeonaire at 9:45 PM on April 10, 2018
There's a gofundme for funeral expenses, though I can't independently confirm it's legit.
posted by praemunire at 9:59 PM on April 10, 2018
posted by praemunire at 9:59 PM on April 10, 2018
.
posted by Annika Cicada at 3:57 AM on April 11, 2018
posted by Annika Cicada at 3:57 AM on April 11, 2018
in this space goes a lot of written and erased words and I will settle on asking everyone who reads this comment to do whatever small part they can muster in this world to help trans women of color live long, happy and prosperous lives.
posted by Annika Cicada at 4:08 AM on April 11, 2018 [14 favorites]
posted by Annika Cicada at 4:08 AM on April 11, 2018 [14 favorites]
.
posted by allium cepa at 4:33 AM on April 11, 2018
posted by allium cepa at 4:33 AM on April 11, 2018
.
posted by elsietheeel at 4:33 AM on April 11, 2018
posted by elsietheeel at 4:33 AM on April 11, 2018
💔
posted by Space Kitty at 5:12 AM on April 11, 2018
posted by Space Kitty at 5:12 AM on April 11, 2018
.
posted by defenestration at 5:57 AM on April 11, 2018
posted by defenestration at 5:57 AM on April 11, 2018
.
posted by Nancy_LockIsLit_Palmer at 5:58 AM on April 11, 2018
posted by Nancy_LockIsLit_Palmer at 5:58 AM on April 11, 2018
.
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 6:33 AM on April 11, 2018
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 6:33 AM on April 11, 2018
I signed off on her certificate what I knew:
ALCOHOL ABUSE
due to or as a consequence of:
GENDER DYSPHORIA
other contributing conditions:
NATIVE AMERICAN
I wonder how I would read that as her sister given the white supremacist idea of the firewater myth that associated fault to the 'inferiority of the Native race' instead of the more common and somewhat less problematic (but still harmful) idea that alcoholism is a weakness of the individual only
I would assume that it's professionally inappropriate to claim that this was a consequence of SOCIETAL OPPRESSION with other contributing conditions of PERVASIVE MARGINALIZATION OF RACIAL AND GENDER MINORITIES even though we know it to be closer to the ultimate cause of suffering and illness
institutions, like that of medicine or law enforcement, will always remain the pillars that sustain systemic inequality, and all the individuals within these institutions the wrought stones of its make
.
posted by runt at 6:48 AM on April 11, 2018 [5 favorites]
ALCOHOL ABUSE
due to or as a consequence of:
GENDER DYSPHORIA
other contributing conditions:
NATIVE AMERICAN
I wonder how I would read that as her sister given the white supremacist idea of the firewater myth that associated fault to the 'inferiority of the Native race' instead of the more common and somewhat less problematic (but still harmful) idea that alcoholism is a weakness of the individual only
I would assume that it's professionally inappropriate to claim that this was a consequence of SOCIETAL OPPRESSION with other contributing conditions of PERVASIVE MARGINALIZATION OF RACIAL AND GENDER MINORITIES even though we know it to be closer to the ultimate cause of suffering and illness
institutions, like that of medicine or law enforcement, will always remain the pillars that sustain systemic inequality, and all the individuals within these institutions the wrought stones of its make
.
posted by runt at 6:48 AM on April 11, 2018 [5 favorites]
The 'just' referring to the cops behaviour, I hope it's clear. Also, still unclear, because she rocks in the video.
posted by AnhydrousLove at 7:12 AM on April 11, 2018
posted by AnhydrousLove at 7:12 AM on April 11, 2018
I am assuming that Slarty was referring to the societal marginalization of American Indians as a contributing factor of her death, not that being Indian was a contributing factor to the alcohol abuse.
posted by elsietheeel at 7:19 AM on April 11, 2018 [8 favorites]
posted by elsietheeel at 7:19 AM on April 11, 2018 [8 favorites]
That Cops video was super uncomfortable to watch, and I admire Stephanie so much for giving him so much sass. I don't understand, though, (and please forgive my ignorance and privilege in not understanding this) is it illegal to be without ID in New Mexico? It seemed like he was jumping to arrest her for not having ID... I fully understand that he was bullying/harassing her just because he could, but surely he couldn't have actually arrested her for that?
posted by torisaur at 7:24 AM on April 11, 2018
posted by torisaur at 7:24 AM on April 11, 2018
I believe he was arresting her because she had an outstanding warrant. I'm hard of hearing so I couldn't catch all the dialogue so I'm not sure how he established her identity to get that information. Also:
Unless you are in a vehicle, you do not need to show the police ID. In New Mexico, if police ask for your identifying information (the information that would be found on your ID) you must provide that information. Not carrying ID or not having ID is not a crime in New Mexico, and the police should not take you to the precinct against your will to verify your identity if you don’t show or have ID unless they have probable cause (more evidence than “reasonable suspicion”) that you committed a crime. However, as a practical matter, presenting ID may help you avoid an unlawful arrest.posted by AFABulous at 7:36 AM on April 11, 2018
(Know Your Rights, ACLU)
elsietheheeel, I'm assuming too that that was the subtext but that's because they wrote a postscript to their comment and it's in the context of a MeFi thread
for the sister, it's a matter of being conditioned to expect the worst from society such that your takeaway from its products and declarations don't demonstrate such good faith. explicit acknowledgement is a better rhetoric for these purposes but professional considerations mitigate that, thus the commentary on how institutions reinforce oppression
posted by runt at 7:38 AM on April 11, 2018 [1 favorite]
for the sister, it's a matter of being conditioned to expect the worst from society such that your takeaway from its products and declarations don't demonstrate such good faith. explicit acknowledgement is a better rhetoric for these purposes but professional considerations mitigate that, thus the commentary on how institutions reinforce oppression
posted by runt at 7:38 AM on April 11, 2018 [1 favorite]
Re Slarty's comment, it sounds like he had a conversation with the sister that was in-depth enough for her to understand the meaning of what he wrote on the death certificate.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 10:29 AM on April 11, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by rabbitrabbit at 10:29 AM on April 11, 2018 [1 favorite]
^^^yeah we did, in fact it was a minor media story here because unexplained, unattended death typically means the medical examiner's office gets involved but they declined and the family was split about the whys of this and whether they wanted to push further which is why I let the death certificate sit. I listed "Native American" as a contributing condition (and not a causative one) as a fuck you to the medical examiner. I'm sure they removed both gender dysphoria and Native American in whatever database shit gets entered in. I honestly hadn't considered the obvious social implications about Native Americans and alcohol until now because everyone who knew her knew she was an alcoholic and had cirrhosis and that was honestly my most likely medical guess as to what happened. But I totally appreciate the perspective.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:55 AM on April 11, 2018 [9 favorites]
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:55 AM on April 11, 2018 [9 favorites]
.
posted by homunculus at 10:56 AM on April 11, 2018
posted by homunculus at 10:56 AM on April 11, 2018
41 is too young. I'm sorry life was harder than it should have been.
posted by Foam Pants at 2:40 PM on April 11, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Foam Pants at 2:40 PM on April 11, 2018 [2 favorites]
(.)
(A dot with a hug. Not a boob, but that's fine, too.)
Holy crap, slarty, I already thought you were pretty bad ass. I'm so glad you were there.
I remember seeing the cops episode somewhere, likely in one of those dumb dark side YouTube videos I shouldn't watch and being pretty uncomfortable with it. Now it makes me want to yell at things. And some people acting like things.
On the alcohol and trans thing, it's usually actually really bad to be a chronic alcoholic and/or smoker while taking androgen/testosterone blockers and feminizing hormones. And/or have any kind of a synthetic drug habit. (Smoking is also super not ok, especially with oral, buccal or sublingual estrogen.)
I'm not pointing any moralizing fingers here (at Stephanie or anyone else) and just speaking in general terms what happens to a lot of self-medicating trans folk, but I can't even imagine what the body load and toxicity might be like to be on HRT and have even a medium grade synthetic/powder/stimulant substance abuse habit like meth or coke, especially with alcohol and/or smoking cigs on top of that. My poor old boozy previously self-medicated liver is wincing and recoiling in resonant sympathy right now.
AAs in particular can be extremely hard on the liver and kidneys, and throw in chronic alcoholism and/or trans-related self medication routines on top of that and it's a fairly sure recipe for problems.
And considering mobility/instability and marginalization Stephanie was likely doing DIY or grey/black market HRT, which even further complicates things and increases the likelihood for severe liver damage without access to reliable blood tests and professional, compassionate and managed care.
And these are all arguments for available treatment and education for trans health issues. I've been really fortunate to have my doctors and care, and I wouldn't be able to be doing this without them and their advocacy. The blood tests alone are crazy expensive even at cash and carry prices.
And even still, I'm getting some stigma and weirdness. Apparently being IDed as trans in my hospital or insurance flags me for a bunch of other stuff, like they keep pushing for me to get the hep B vaccine. Which is good, really, but of which I am basically at zero risk to get, because no tattoos, no needles or needle drugs, very low sexual activity and no high risk activity to the point of being asexual. But besides the alcoholism and homelessness, I've luckily escaped a whole lot of the darker things that a lot of trans women face w/r/t addiction, sex work and survival.
Another thing I was getting a lot of was the standardized CBT/depression screening and self-reporting checklist, which they finally stopped doing when they realized that I've basically been annoyingly chipper and happy ever since I started treatment and connected with my general hospital social worker-slash-therapist about my support network and plans, as well as my previous history with CBT, and a general "I promise, I have friends who love me and a plan and I promise to call you if I need anything!" pact.
Thankfully that flag also affords a pronoun and name check every time even though my response is "I'll happily tell you when it's time!" every time.
posted by loquacious at 2:29 PM on April 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
(A dot with a hug. Not a boob, but that's fine, too.)
Holy crap, slarty, I already thought you were pretty bad ass. I'm so glad you were there.
I remember seeing the cops episode somewhere, likely in one of those dumb dark side YouTube videos I shouldn't watch and being pretty uncomfortable with it. Now it makes me want to yell at things. And some people acting like things.
On the alcohol and trans thing, it's usually actually really bad to be a chronic alcoholic and/or smoker while taking androgen/testosterone blockers and feminizing hormones. And/or have any kind of a synthetic drug habit. (Smoking is also super not ok, especially with oral, buccal or sublingual estrogen.)
I'm not pointing any moralizing fingers here (at Stephanie or anyone else) and just speaking in general terms what happens to a lot of self-medicating trans folk, but I can't even imagine what the body load and toxicity might be like to be on HRT and have even a medium grade synthetic/powder/stimulant substance abuse habit like meth or coke, especially with alcohol and/or smoking cigs on top of that. My poor old boozy previously self-medicated liver is wincing and recoiling in resonant sympathy right now.
AAs in particular can be extremely hard on the liver and kidneys, and throw in chronic alcoholism and/or trans-related self medication routines on top of that and it's a fairly sure recipe for problems.
And considering mobility/instability and marginalization Stephanie was likely doing DIY or grey/black market HRT, which even further complicates things and increases the likelihood for severe liver damage without access to reliable blood tests and professional, compassionate and managed care.
And these are all arguments for available treatment and education for trans health issues. I've been really fortunate to have my doctors and care, and I wouldn't be able to be doing this without them and their advocacy. The blood tests alone are crazy expensive even at cash and carry prices.
And even still, I'm getting some stigma and weirdness. Apparently being IDed as trans in my hospital or insurance flags me for a bunch of other stuff, like they keep pushing for me to get the hep B vaccine. Which is good, really, but of which I am basically at zero risk to get, because no tattoos, no needles or needle drugs, very low sexual activity and no high risk activity to the point of being asexual. But besides the alcoholism and homelessness, I've luckily escaped a whole lot of the darker things that a lot of trans women face w/r/t addiction, sex work and survival.
Another thing I was getting a lot of was the standardized CBT/depression screening and self-reporting checklist, which they finally stopped doing when they realized that I've basically been annoyingly chipper and happy ever since I started treatment and connected with my general hospital social worker-slash-therapist about my support network and plans, as well as my previous history with CBT, and a general "I promise, I have friends who love me and a plan and I promise to call you if I need anything!" pact.
Thankfully that flag also affords a pronoun and name check every time even though my response is "I'll happily tell you when it's time!" every time.
posted by loquacious at 2:29 PM on April 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
« Older YouTube Face | “[Nostalgia trip] too often and the returns... Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by parki at 8:23 PM on April 10, 2018