Infrastructure weak
June 11, 2018 3:14 PM Subscribe
If we don't get it in 30 minutes, is it free?
posted by davros42 at 3:29 PM on June 11, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by davros42 at 3:29 PM on June 11, 2018 [2 favorites]
seems like an early blip on the timeline where pizza delivery goes all Snow Crash
posted by Gymnopedist at 3:37 PM on June 11, 2018 [21 favorites]
posted by Gymnopedist at 3:37 PM on June 11, 2018 [21 favorites]
Here in London, some vape shops have signs promising a free lung capacity test. I've wondered whether this is a case of the free market stepping in to fill the gaps as the NHS collapses.
posted by acb at 3:40 PM on June 11, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by acb at 3:40 PM on June 11, 2018 [3 favorites]
The Noid for President
posted by roger ackroyd at 3:41 PM on June 11, 2018 [12 favorites]
posted by roger ackroyd at 3:41 PM on June 11, 2018 [12 favorites]
Thankfully not Papa John's. They're just arming the road destroyers to be contrarians.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 3:44 PM on June 11, 2018
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 3:44 PM on June 11, 2018
See? We're wasting money paying taxes to maintain infastructure. If we let things get bad enough companies like Wal-Mart will step forward to maintain roads to ensure their customers and delivery trucks can reach the nearest Wal-Mart. They'll even helpfully paint arrows into the roads to help customers navigate to their nearest Savings Supercenter. The Invisible Hand raises all boats.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 3:55 PM on June 11, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 3:55 PM on June 11, 2018 [5 favorites]
companies like Wal-Mart will step forward to maintain roads to ensure their customers and delivery trucks can reach the nearest Wal-Mart
Hmm, I doubt that's how it will play out.
posted by salvia at 3:59 PM on June 11, 2018 [1 favorite]
Hmm, I doubt that's how it will play out.
posted by salvia at 3:59 PM on June 11, 2018 [1 favorite]
Cool. Cool. Cool cool cool.
I worry though; is this how the fast food wars start? Will Pizza Hut start making their delivery drivers drive with studded tires or chains to wear the roads out faster?
posted by graventy at 4:15 PM on June 11, 2018 [7 favorites]
I worry though; is this how the fast food wars start? Will Pizza Hut start making their delivery drivers drive with studded tires or chains to wear the roads out faster?
posted by graventy at 4:15 PM on June 11, 2018 [7 favorites]
Fantastic! Next they can help out the first responders, not to mention the homeowners who don't seem to care if food or help arrives quickly, by putting house numbers on every house, business and building.
That are visible at night.
posted by serena15221 at 4:55 PM on June 11, 2018 [6 favorites]
That are visible at night.
posted by serena15221 at 4:55 PM on June 11, 2018 [6 favorites]
I worry though; is this how the fast food wars start?
It's ok, everyone knows Taco Bell won the franchise wars, and they don't deliver.
For some non-American releases, references to Taco Bell were changed to Pizza Hut.
Uh-oh.
posted by sysinfo at 5:01 PM on June 11, 2018 [3 favorites]
It's ok, everyone knows Taco Bell won the franchise wars, and they don't deliver.
For some non-American releases, references to Taco Bell were changed to Pizza Hut.
Uh-oh.
posted by sysinfo at 5:01 PM on June 11, 2018 [3 favorites]
I worry though; is this how the fast food wars start? Will Pizza Hut start making their delivery drivers drive with studded tires or chains to wear the roads out faster?
Are you kidding? Obviously people aren't going to order pizza if the company is gonna rip up their streets in the process. People are going to order pizza to keep their streets from getting ripped up. Pizza Hut will hire backhoes to tear up streets if neighborhoods don't order enough pizza.
"Nice pavement you have here... it'd be a shame if someone were to tear it up and leave broken glass and metal behind. Why not avoid all that and treat your kids to some stuffed crust instead? Oh, and we better not find any Dominoes patches either, if you know what's good for you."
It's too late if you see that bright red backhoe come around the corner. No amount of pizza will save you. You just better hope the Amazon Prime Airstrike you ordered arrives before they get to work.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 5:24 PM on June 11, 2018 [8 favorites]
Are you kidding? Obviously people aren't going to order pizza if the company is gonna rip up their streets in the process. People are going to order pizza to keep their streets from getting ripped up. Pizza Hut will hire backhoes to tear up streets if neighborhoods don't order enough pizza.
"Nice pavement you have here... it'd be a shame if someone were to tear it up and leave broken glass and metal behind. Why not avoid all that and treat your kids to some stuffed crust instead? Oh, and we better not find any Dominoes patches either, if you know what's good for you."
It's too late if you see that bright red backhoe come around the corner. No amount of pizza will save you. You just better hope the Amazon Prime Airstrike you ordered arrives before they get to work.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 5:24 PM on June 11, 2018 [8 favorites]
The Noid has taken to defunding road maintenance work
posted by DoctorFedora at 5:27 PM on June 11, 2018
posted by DoctorFedora at 5:27 PM on June 11, 2018
They're just going to fill up the potholes with their rubber pizzas, aren't they?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:52 PM on June 11, 2018
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:52 PM on June 11, 2018
And we inch ever closer to Jennifer Government.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:05 PM on June 11, 2018 [7 favorites]
posted by Thorzdad at 6:05 PM on June 11, 2018 [7 favorites]
How Long Can A State Go Without Repairing Its Roads And Bridges? Mississippi Is About To Find Out
As of this spring, more than 540 bridges in Mississippi have been closed. In some counties, as many as 30 bridges were shut down, rerouting residents on 40- to 50-mile detours.posted by MrVisible at 9:03 PM on June 11, 2018 [17 favorites]
Are you kidding? Obviously people aren't going to order pizza if the company is gonna rip up their streets in the process.
Sadly, you've assumed people won't cause wanton destruction as a way of signaling, and you're wrong on that point. Consider "rolling coal."
posted by MengerSponge at 10:44 PM on June 11, 2018 [3 favorites]
Sadly, you've assumed people won't cause wanton destruction as a way of signaling, and you're wrong on that point. Consider "rolling coal."
posted by MengerSponge at 10:44 PM on June 11, 2018 [3 favorites]
Uncle Enzo needs to keep those pizza delivery cars moving.
posted by Svejk at 12:02 AM on June 12, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by Svejk at 12:02 AM on June 12, 2018 [3 favorites]
whelk jsyk portland anarchist roadcare appears to be defunct. i wish dumb little initiatives like that didn't get big play.
posted by nixon's meatloaf at 9:56 AM on June 12, 2018
posted by nixon's meatloaf at 9:56 AM on June 12, 2018
Begun, the Road Wars have.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 10:28 AM on June 12, 2018
posted by Kitty Stardust at 10:28 AM on June 12, 2018
Not be all (Thread) but this twitter thread is a good summation of what is happening, here
Tl;Dr the megarich got rich raiding the public funds and now getting richer to fix a problem they created
posted by The Whelk at 10:53 AM on June 13, 2018
Tl;Dr the megarich got rich raiding the public funds and now getting richer to fix a problem they created
posted by The Whelk at 10:53 AM on June 13, 2018
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posted by The Whelk at 3:16 PM on June 11, 2018 [20 favorites]