OH SHIT A GHOST
June 13, 2018 12:18 PM   Subscribe

 
This one fits and actually makes sense.
Confessing to bombings
posted by Thorzdad at 12:24 PM on June 13 [9 favorites]


I laughed so hard I blacked out for a second. Dear lord.
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:27 PM on June 13 [8 favorites]


Cute idea, but it would be better if the execution was a bit more... sensical. "AN BONER"?!?
posted by Crane Shot at 12:27 PM on June 13 [2 favorites]


On the one hand, I think the fact they rarely actually fit the puzzle is part of the joke, but on the other hand it still makes me irrationally grumpy.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 12:27 PM on June 13 [6 favorites]


I feel like I shouldn't be laughing uncontrollably at this, but I very much am.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 12:28 PM on June 13 [9 favorites]


all i'm saying is around here, you buy the "t" in "shit" you should automatically get the "t" in "ghost"
posted by demonic winged headgear at 12:29 PM on June 13 [14 favorites]


Cute idea, but it would be better if the execution was a bit more... sensical. "AN BONER"?!?

You and I have an entirely different definition of the concept of "better".
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:30 PM on June 13 [56 favorites]


AN BONER
posted by griphus at 12:30 PM on June 13 [21 favorites]


Somebody did not read the pinned tweet.
posted by drlith at 12:31 PM on June 13 [5 favorites]


Someone needs to make this the new captcha for all I'm not a robot click-throughs.
posted by Fizz at 12:33 PM on June 13 [4 favorites]


Cute idea, but it would be better if the execution was a bit more... sensical. "AN BONER"?!?

No.
posted by vverse23 at 12:35 PM on June 13 [9 favorites]


“I NOW EXIST IN HELL”

*giggles*


“AN AURA OF MANGE”

*giggling intensifies*


“CONFESSING TO BOMBINGS*

*open laughter*


“ELEVEN HUNGRY SHITTERS*

*in tears*


“FUCK
FUK &
FUUUUUUUUCK”

*AAAaaaHaHAHAHAHAHA-OHMySiDES!!!*


Seriously, I needed this laugh today...thank you.
posted by darkstar at 12:38 PM on June 13 [10 favorites]


Pretty good, but it still doesn’t beat self potato.
posted by interrupt at 12:43 PM on June 13 [9 favorites]


This reminds me of the time in the 80s when I was watching an episode and a contestant tried to solve

_T   TAK_S   ON_   TO   KNOW   ON_

by confidently shouting "E.T. TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE!"

(Yes, it really did happen and I've been trying to track down video evidence for years, alas to no avail.)
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:45 PM on June 13 [11 favorites]


all i'm saying is around here, you buy the "t" in "shit" you should automatically get the "t" in "ghost"

Never mind that. What about all of the other T’s in FAASTTTT?
posted by mr_roboto at 12:46 PM on June 13 [2 favorites]


that ET answer is like on a current season episode of Jeopardy! when the guy said "GangsTERs paradise" and was rudely informed that it was actually GangsTAHs paradise.

AN BONER made me laugh even though/especially because it was nonsensical.
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 12:46 PM on June 13 [2 favorites]


Remember in Groundhog Day, Bill Murray spooks everyone by knowing the Jeopardy! answers. I did that IRL with Wheel of Fortune.

The clue was 'a person' and the blank letters came up and I loudly said SIR WINSTON CHURCHILL. My friend counts the letters and says are you serious? I say nothing, but then the tv doofus starts spinning the letters and I'm RIGHT! I AM A GOLDEN GOD HAHAHAHA

That was in 2003 but it still gives me a warm smug feeling.
posted by adept256 at 12:52 PM on June 13 [29 favorites]


I'm dead now.
posted by Young Kullervo at 1:03 PM on June 13 [1 favorite]


The funny answers are robbing me of the ability to see the intended answers, which is fine because the intended answers are always inane at best.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:06 PM on June 13 [6 favorites]


DILUTE! DILUTE!
REBRAND AS CARROTS!
OK!!!
posted by yhbc at 1:08 PM on June 13 [10 favorites]


_T TAK_S ON_ TO KNOW ON_

by confidently shouting "E.T. TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE!"


The worst guess I ever heard from a contestant was, "THE EARTH BIRD GETS THE WORM."
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:10 PM on June 13 [17 favorites]


AN BONER

Lady Ann Boner is one of my favorite Elizabethan poets!
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:11 PM on June 13 [5 favorites]


TOSS A CHURCH ON ME, baby I'm still free.
posted by ambrosen at 1:20 PM on June 13 [7 favorites]


Lady Ann Boner is one of my favorite Elizabethan poets!
Remember when she was Mike Seaver's best friend on Growing Pains?
posted by cottoncandybeard at 1:21 PM on June 13 [2 favorites]


If it's acceptable for some Ivy League egghead to say "AN historic" then I think it's perfectly cromulent for me to refer to my boner as "AN boner." (Especially if it's an particularly historic one.)
posted by Atom Eyes at 1:22 PM on June 13 [10 favorites]


Great tags, though when I got to the last one, I wondered what the writer of the Goosebumps books had to do with anything.
posted by aws17576 at 1:24 PM on June 13 [2 favorites]


International House Of AN BONER
posted by little onion at 1:28 PM on June 13 [26 favorites]


The "b" is silent in "boner", so "an" is perfectly cromulent.
posted by maxwelton at 1:29 PM on June 13 [8 favorites]


My dorm-mate in college had a girlfriend who... I don't want to be unkind, but she wasn't very bright. Daily she would say things that suggested basic misunderstandings about how the world works. Like, "At least the mosquito died after it bit you." or "How did venus fly traps think of eating flies like that?" She believed all television shows took place in the same universe, and could not be convinced otherwise. She wrapped herself in saran wrap as a Halloween costume that year, not understanding that it was see-through and also not a costume of anything. Mostly she was fun, honestly.

So Wheel of Fortune was coming to town that year, as like a student tour. If you won, you got to be on the show. She nearly failed out of school playing a Wheel of Fortune game on Newgrounds or something. It took up all of her time. They had extended arguments about this. She'd switched to online classes so she didn't have to show up she wasn't doing her homework or studying for tests. She was studying for Wheel of Fortune. We enjoyed her hijinks but she was in serious danger of damaging her future over this.

Anyway, she brushed us off and won, and not by a little bit. She breezed through the college crowd, went on the show and flattened an English professor and a lawyer on national television. She won $30,000 in cash and a trip to Italy. Paid for her undergrad education.

And that's my Wheel of Fortune story. Follow your dreams.
posted by Phobos the Space Potato at 1:30 PM on June 13 [159 favorites]


Excellent.
posted by Secretariat at 1:36 PM on June 13


The worst guess I ever heard from a contestant was, "THE EARTH BIRD GETS THE WORM."

The one I remember was a contestant who had THE PIRATES OF PEN_ANCE showing and guessed a J. I mean, nothing says that all players have to be familiar with the works of Gilbert & Sullivan, but...
posted by telophase at 1:36 PM on June 13 [2 favorites]


by confidently shouting "E.T. TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE!"

I distinctly remember a late 90's episode where the contestant had the category "Where Are We?". Puzzle:

FAIRWAYS HAZARDS TRAPS & GREENS

Contestant's answer: Phoenix!
posted by Mister Fabulous at 1:37 PM on June 13 [2 favorites]


OK, that's it, I'm finally moving out to the country and opening up that for-profit game show training academy/tea shop.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:37 PM on June 13 [2 favorites]


I was good at Wheel of Fortune because I used to do the newspaper crossword every morning.

Newspapers were these big papery ipads that never updated, you'd just buy a new one everyday. Sometimes they had crosswords in them.

Anyhow if you're going on Wheel of Fortune, study crosswords.
posted by adept256 at 1:39 PM on June 13 [5 favorites]


The only way it could be better is if their caption was below the photo, so I'd have a better time making my own guess before I see what they got. I've resorted to using my thumb to cover things up.

I got "IT SURE IS URINE".
posted by hydrophonic at 1:39 PM on June 13 [10 favorites]


_T TAK_S ON_ TO KNOW ON_

by confidently shouting "E.T. TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE!"

The worst guess I ever heard from a contestant was, "THE EARTH BIRD GETS THE WORM."


"A STREET CAR NAKED DESIRE"
posted by dances with hamsters at 1:40 PM on June 13 [8 favorites]


The terribleness and the use of letters already on the board adds to the charm somehow.
posted by The_Vegetables at 1:49 PM on June 13 [4 favorites]


I was going to post this , but wasted my lunch break scrolling and laughing. I'm happy to see it here.
posted by Fig at 1:49 PM on June 13 [2 favorites]


The worst attempted solve I've seen is "A TALE OF TWO CITIES BY CHARLES _ICKENS."
She said "PICKENS".
posted by Daily Alice at 1:58 PM on June 13 [5 favorites]



Remember in Groundhog Day, Bill Murray spooks everyone by knowing the Jeopardy! answers. I did that IRL with Wheel of Fortune.


Back when DVR was a thing people used a lot I was hanging out at my friend's house and we were watching recorded episodes of jeopardy from earlier in the week. her husband was coming home right around the time when jeopardy would normally be on, so somehow we got the idea to re-start the recorded one we'd just watched so it was on when he came in the door. we assumed he'd immediately figure out what we had done when we knew all the answers, but HE DIDN'T. he couldn't figure out how the hell we both got so smart. it was amazing and hilarious.

also, this is the first time I've laughed in days, so thanks for sharing this. it's the kind of cheap easy laugh i need after hours catching up on the politics megathread.
posted by robotdevil at 2:00 PM on June 13 [12 favorites]


REVERSIBLE GRAVEYARDS
posted by The Whelk at 2:10 PM on June 13 [10 favorites]


I love the clueless pedants in the replies, each one of them more certain than the last that THIS TIME will be the time that someone is told "you know what, you're right, my bad" and they can taste that sweet internets vindication.

FOOLS
posted by poffin boffin at 2:19 PM on June 13 [9 favorites]


I recently saw this poor guy get the puzzle wrong when every letter was there, but he didn't know how to pronounce ACHILLES (they did not accept AY-chuh-less).

That said, I've been laughing unreasonably over "OH SHIT A GHOST" for days
posted by brainmouse at 2:24 PM on June 13 [1 favorite]


Phobos the Space Potato, surely you mean F_LL__ _O__ DR__M_.
posted by a halcyon day at 2:25 PM on June 13 [1 favorite]


Are we 100% sure that Confessing To Bombings isn't right? I mean, 100% sure?
posted by The Bellman at 2:30 PM on June 13 [1 favorite]


At least these "solves" fit the number of characters unlike Popsicle bike
posted by SonInLawOfSam at 2:43 PM on June 13 [1 favorite]


I don't cry laughing very often, but by god, I'm wiping away tears. Whoever made this, you are a magnificent bastard.
posted by emjaybee at 2:47 PM on June 13 [2 favorites]


all i'm saying is around here, you buy the "t" in "shit" you should automatically get the "t" in "ghost"
Okay, but where are you that they charge for consonants?!?!
posted by soelo at 2:56 PM on June 13 [3 favorites]


A LARGE NUDE FOR EVERYTHING is my favorite Weakerthans song.
posted by Gorgik at 3:16 PM on June 13 [15 favorites]


Maybe the category was “before and after,” Dances with Hamsters?
posted by Alterscape at 3:30 PM on June 13


Although I guess I’m implying “A streetcar naked” is a thing, by saying that. I mean, who’s to say, San Francisco is an interesting town...
posted by Alterscape at 3:31 PM on June 13 [1 favorite]


Remember in Groundhog Day, Bill Murray spooks everyone by knowing the Jeopardy! answers. I did that IRL with Wheel of Fortune.

The clue was 'a person' and the blank letters came up and I loudly said SIR WINSTON CHURCHILL. My friend counts the letters and says are you serious? I say nothing, but then the tv doofus starts spinning the letters and I'm RIGHT! I AM A GOLDEN GOD HAHAHAHA

That was in 2003 but it still gives me a warm smug feeling.


I once did this to an entire house full of roommates but with Jeopardy. It was a rebroadcast and I never told them. I just walked out of the living room like it was perfectly normal to guess every single clue for an entire game of Jeopardy.
posted by srboisvert at 3:41 PM on June 13 [1 favorite]


Do... do you often memorize entire games of Jeopardy just in case there's a rebroadcast someday?
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 3:48 PM on June 13 [2 favorites]


Do you not?
posted by Slinga at 4:18 PM on June 13 [11 favorites]


Do... do you often memorize entire games of Jeopardy just in case there's a rebroadcast someday?
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia


“Hello, pot, this is kettle.”
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:19 PM on June 13 [7 favorites]


a halcyon day: Phobos the Space Potato, surely you mean F_LL__ _O__ DR__M_.

"FILLED BONG DRUMMY?"
posted by Pronoiac at 4:22 PM on June 13 [4 favorites]


adept256, I did just the same thing with ALEXANDER THE GREAT. I was 9 at the time and everyone was very impressed.
posted by potrzebie at 4:34 PM on June 13 [2 favorites]


FAIRWAYS HAZARDS TRAPS & GREENS

...doo dah, doo dah
posted by azpenguin at 5:22 PM on June 13 [32 favorites]


I once did this to an entire house full of roommates but with Jeopardy.

I did this but with a new broadcast on final jeopardy, more than once. I don’t remember what the categories were but I guessed the question as soon as I saw it and was right.

And yet for some reason I have had three in-person try outs and they don’t want me. I would probably lose embarrassingly anyway.
posted by uncleozzy at 7:26 PM on June 13


OH SHIT A GHOST


*still laughing*
posted by darkstar at 9:01 PM on June 13 [3 favorites]


Dang it, is nobody going to mention what song "Oh Shit, A Ghost" is from? Google doesn't seem to recognize those lyrics.
posted by straight at 10:31 PM on June 13


AN BONER is Irish for “the boner.”

And a group of pill pushers can probably help with that.
posted by armeowda at 10:34 PM on June 13 [3 favorites]


REVERSIBLE GRAVEYARDS

I always thought there was a lot of good stuff on this album, even though everybody says The Cure were past their peak by then.
posted by MrBadExample at 10:37 PM on June 13 [6 favorites]


After reading some of these I tried to look up how they came up with the puzzles / answers and came upon this article, wherein we learn that Vanna White's favorite round was a contestant guessing GONE WITH THE WIND as DONE WITH ONE HAND

(dying)
posted by batter_my_heart at 12:35 AM on June 14 [9 favorites]


Yeah okay sure but the final puzzle RSTLNE is in the same order as in my name sooo...
posted by Crystalinne at 1:01 AM on June 14 [2 favorites]


TOSS A CHURCH ON ME, baby I'm still free

Alternate universe Hozier single
posted by lollymccatburglar at 1:16 AM on June 14 [1 favorite]


It took me a while, but I finally realized the best answers are inside.
Example- for IT'S A FAASTTTTT CAR
-IT'S A PLASTERED DAD
-IT'S A FLUSTERED CAT
-IT'S A MANATEEEE OMG
-IT'S A GENITALIA WAR

I love that when there are any complaints, the answer is always 'No'.
posted by MtDewd at 5:25 AM on June 14 [5 favorites]


Dang it, is nobody going to mention what song "Oh Shit, A Ghost" is from? Google doesn't seem to recognize those lyrics.

OH SHIT A GHOST
LATE DECEMBER BACK IN ‘63
posted by robotdevil at 5:33 AM on June 14 [10 favorites]


I’m so glad my neighbor moved out because I am cackling like a madman right now at BONELESS HOMEBOYS
posted by palomar at 5:45 AM on June 14 [5 favorites]


I am so bad at WoF. The only real answer I got was POTS AND PANS.
But no, that was not the answer.
posted by MtDewd at 6:31 AM on June 14 [3 favorites]


I’ve twisted my brain to figure out what OH SHIT A GHOST might possibly be. I came up with “Oh what a night...” (see RobotDevil, above). But that can’t be it, because of the H and T already being on the board.

I’ve checked all the 4-letter words that end in T. Oh clot...? Oh fart...? Oh suet...? Oh goat...? Oh zoot...? Oh Kant...? Oh Newt...?

I’ve imagined all kinds of lyrics to the strangest songs. Songs about amphibian politicians. Songs about German philosophers. Songs about mutton fat. Songs about blood disorders.

None of them strike a chord, though. Now I’m really, really, really curious. Anybody halp?
posted by darkstar at 7:04 AM on June 14


I am so bad at WoF. The only real answer I got was POTS AND PANS.
But no, that was not the answer.



I...also thought that was the real answer. The actual, real answer, well, that’s just evil. Seriously, “woks and pans”?? Somebody on staff at WoF was having a really bad day. Maybe they just broke up with their SO, or something, and needed to take it out on the rest of the world.

If I’d been playing and that came up, I think I’d go total “SEDAGIVE!!?” on Pat Sajak during the break.
posted by darkstar at 7:08 AM on June 14 [2 favorites]


None of them strike a chord, though. Now I’m really, really, really curious. Anybody halp?
No.
posted by cardioid at 7:10 AM on June 14 [3 favorites]


Dang it, is nobody going to mention what song "Oh Shit, A Ghost" is from? Google doesn't seem to recognize those lyrics.

Not sure, but since others were discussing boners, here's Ghost with a Boner which might be why they are especially frightened.
posted by The_Vegetables at 7:32 AM on June 14 [2 favorites]


Darkstar, it might have been one of those special rounds where they just flip one letter at a time until somebody gets it. (I may have spent way too long reading the comments of the twitter thread and that was the answer to lots of the ones that didn’t make sense like that.)
posted by robotdevil at 7:34 AM on June 14 [1 favorite]


Dang it, is nobody going to mention what song "Oh Shit, A Ghost" is from? Google doesn't seem to recognize those lyrics.

It's from an upcoming Dr. Ocragon track... or Madvillain... I forget which...
posted by theartandsound at 9:39 AM on June 14 [1 favorite]


Not sure, but since others were discussing boners, here's Ghost with a Boner which might be why they are especially frightened.

haha I was just coming in to post that, I saw DP play a tiny ass bar ages ago and it was great
posted by FatherDagon at 10:25 AM on June 14


I’ve twisted my brain to figure out what OH SHIT A GHOST might possibly be

"Oh What A Price" is a Fats Domino song. Maybe?
posted by pemberkins at 10:58 AM on June 14 [1 favorite]


For some reason I keep hearing that phrase in my head in the voice of Stanley from The Office:

"Oh shit a ghost"

"What?"

"Did I stutter?"
posted by e1c at 11:44 AM on June 14 [1 favorite]


A NUDE LONG LEONARD
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 12:04 PM on June 14


As a Wheel Watcher, a Twitter enthusiast and a pedant about dumb things:

1) appreciated this account enough that I followed it for a while
2) had to unfollow because I was basically the guy in the account's pinned tweet

(and let's be honest, I'm mostly just mad because I didn't come up with the idea for the account first)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:30 PM on June 14


Darkstar, it might have been one of those special rounds where they just flip one letter at a time until somebody gets it. (I may have spent way too long reading the comments of the twitter thread and that was the answer to lots of the ones that didn’t make sense like that.)


Omigosh you magnificent Dark Lord of Robot Hell, that’s it! I’d totally forgotten they had those sudden death rounds!

Oh man, seriously, thank you — this has been gnawing at me all day.


Uh...does this mean I owe you my soul now, or do we have a fiddle-playing contest, or what?
posted by darkstar at 2:35 PM on June 14


The worst attempted solve I've seen is "A TALE OF TWO CITIES BY CHARLES _ICKENS."
She said "PICKENS"



That would be PIKKENS with two Ks, the well known Dutch author...
posted by darkstar at 2:39 PM on June 14 [2 favorites]


Uh...does this mean I owe you my soul now, or do we have a fiddle-playing contest, or what?

JUST PLEASE STOP SINNING WHILE I’M SINGING
posted by robotdevil at 4:28 PM on June 14 [2 favorites]


I'm just stumped as to what the author of Goosebumps has to do with with any of these...
posted by NMcCoy at 10:21 PM on June 14 [1 favorite]


I swear to god I saw one where it was T_E ACROPOLIS and the dude went "Tie Acropolis? Toe Acropolis?" and ran out of time and lost.
posted by cats are weird at 8:07 PM on June 15


"Tie Acropolis? Toe Acropolis?"

Somebody stop me firing up Photoshop here, please.
posted by ambrosen at 6:21 AM on June 16 [2 favorites]


"Oh Shit, A Ghost" is definitely The Unicorns.

But I'm still chuckling at this.
posted by a halcyon day at 11:55 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]


I’ve twisted my brain to figure out what OH SHIT A GHOST might possibly be

"Oh What A Price" is a Fats Domino song. Maybe?


I'd bet money it's "Oh What A Night". See how they're holding buzzers in the screenshot? That means it's a "tossup" round and not a normal round, and in the tossup rounds the letters pop in one-by-one in random(ish) order, without them being called and without regard to the "all the T's at once" rule.
posted by brainmouse at 12:00 PM on June 18 [1 favorite]


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