Authorities thought 911 call was a hoax
July 30, 2018 5:41 PM   Subscribe

 
CHUMps!”
posted by Fizz at 5:49 PM on July 30 [4 favorites]


Spellman said the men went into a back room and put the shark into a San Antonio Aquarium bucket that had a bleach solution. She said that the bleach might have shocked the shark's system.

Poor thing.
posted by carter at 5:52 PM on July 30 [16 favorites]


Next up for the trio, eels snaffled out in tube socks.
posted by clavdivs at 5:52 PM on July 30 [1 favorite]


Bastards. I'm a big fan of sharks, and I hate to see this. I don't know what this would fetch for a hobby aquarium, but I'm guessing there were a few hundred or thousand dollars in it for them. Every so often you hear a "humorous" news story about some traveler caught with a jacket stuffed full of parrots or live lizards for the exotic pet trade.

This particular heist reminds me of the penguin kidnapping story, which thankfully does not seem to have happened.
posted by Countess Elena at 5:53 PM on July 30 [10 favorites]


My stupid pun aside. Fuck these people. Sharks are beautiful and don't deserve to be kidnapped/sold in this way. Ugh. This is why we can't have nice things.
posted by Fizz at 5:58 PM on July 30 [12 favorites]


Somewhere in Hollywood, the Coen brothers phones are bleeping non stop.
posted by Damienmce at 6:00 PM on July 30 [12 favorites]


Well, someone stole a goat from a petting zoo. Happy ending.
posted by clavdivs at 6:06 PM on July 30


The people worked for the shark. It was a break out. He’s in international waters by now.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 6:08 PM on July 30 [10 favorites]


"Hollywild bear cub kidnapped; put on display at truck stop."
posted by clavdivs at 6:12 PM on July 30 [2 favorites]


I don't know what this would fetch for a hobby aquarium, but I'm guessing there were a few hundred or thousand dollars in it for them.

That was going to be my question. Based on the headline I kind of assumed it was drunk weirdos playing a prank or committing a hare-brained crime of opportunity, but it sounds like they'd planned this and targeted that specific type of shark, so they must have some other goal in mind. Is there really a black market for sharks?
posted by Copronymus at 6:28 PM on July 30 [1 favorite]


But did the shark have dolls eyes?
posted by valkane at 6:34 PM on July 30 [9 favorites]


I relied on googling (I AM a real librarian but we didn’t cover fish sales in school, so) and it appears that there is not a black market for these sharks because they are legal to breed, sell, and own (but not to remove from some specific areas of the ocean). Or maybe no one has thought to legislate their ownership yet? It is hard to differentiate.

Anyway you can buy a horn shark for $100-$800 online depending on size.
posted by holyrood at 6:48 PM on July 30 [11 favorites]




Primalux’s update makes it sound a bit like the shark was an undercover cop.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:57 PM on July 30 [3 favorites]


Anyway you can buy a horn shark for $100-$800 online depending on size.

Walter: You want a shark? I can get you a shark, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.
Dude: Yeah, but Walter-
Walter: Hell, I can get you a shark by 3 o'clock this afternoon - WITH a baby outfit. Fuckin' amateurs.
posted by Phobos the Space Potato at 8:15 PM on July 30 [13 favorites]


Deep cut Valkane.
posted by asavage at 9:00 PM on July 30 [1 favorite]


We watched each video like 4 times.
posted by k8t at 9:23 PM on July 30


Who else instantly thought of Ace Ventura, Pet Detective when they saw this story?
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 10:26 PM on July 30 [3 favorites]


Yeah, I wondered why they stole it? As someone in the marine hobby, my first thought was horn sharks are common and inexpensive as far as marine sharks go. Maybe not the least expensive, but not really up there. The first hit that comes up for me on google is a company that is generally considered overpriced, so there is that too. Yes, it could be worth a few hundred dollars, but I am certain there are more valuable animals at the aquarium, answer since these people seemed to know what they were doing, well, it seems like an odd target.

Also, I’m all “grar” at the station who ran this story, because horn sharks sure as shit are predators. Wtf?
posted by [insert clever name here] at 10:43 PM on July 30 [1 favorite]




They always meant to bring it back - it was only a loan shark.
posted by moonmilk at 5:57 AM on July 31 [25 favorites]


I've always figured the Star Trek franchise was massively over-romanticizing the future. The reality is far more mundane. They're not coming back for whales to save the Earth. They're coming back for sharks, probably to win a bet or something, and the real bridge crew of the Enterprise are nowhere near as glamorous as Shatner, Nimoy, and the rest. They look kind of slovenly, to tell the truth.

The future has always disappointed me, and I don't see any reason to expect that to be different by the time we get to the Federation era.
posted by Naberius at 6:00 AM on July 31 [2 favorites]


vrakatar: Shark community response: we are watching what you do.

Meanwhile, in Rhode Island, [SLT] a young woman works to bridge the shark/human divide.
posted by wenestvedt at 6:08 AM on July 31 [2 favorites]


We saw this on the Today show this morning, whereupon the following exchange occurred between wife and 11 year-old son:

Son: Wait, what? They stole a shark?
Wife: Yep.
Son: A real live shark?
Wife: Yeah.
Son: Why would they do that? Poor shark!
Wife: Yeah. People are jerks.
Son: They stuck it in the stroller?
Wife: Yep.
Son: What about the baby?
Wife (slightly mystified): The baby?
Son: In the stroller. What did the do with the baby in there?
Wife (catching on): Oh. Well, I guess they left it in there. What if the shark was hungry?
Me: *nodding*
Son: *side-eye forever*
posted by The Bellman at 7:11 AM on July 31 [16 favorites]


Moonmilk wins.
posted by Melismata at 8:16 AM on July 31


There's been an update that brings a lot of clarity to the whole heist.

Basically, the ringleader set this up because a previous horn shark of his had died and he wanted a replacement. That also explains why the shark was recovered in healthy condition, which was by no means a guarantee. Obviously it's bad to steal live animals from the aquarium, but it's a little heartwarming that this wasn't for money but for the gentle companionship of a relatively nonthreatening shark that seems likely to have lived a perfectly fine life in the care of the thief had he not been caught.
posted by Copronymus at 2:24 PM on July 31 [2 favorites]


... but it's a little heartwarming that this wasn't for money but for the gentle companionship of a relatively nonthreatening shark that seems likely to have lived a perfectly fine life in the care of the thief had he not been caught.


Not necessarily disagreeing and nice for the shark i guess but the dudes pretty shitty regardless. Apparently he has a long record, especially for assault
posted by nogoodverybad at 2:40 PM on July 31


A friend of mine told me she stole a baby bunny from a zoo. I believe her because she's always been a bit dodgy. She just tucked it inside her jacket, apparently.
posted by h00py at 6:57 PM on July 31


Basically, the ringleader set this up because a previous horn shark of his had died and he wanted a replacement.

In the latest round of articles (like this one) the thief's story is now that he is an "activist" merely trying to rescue the shark from poor living conditions.
posted by zakur at 7:01 AM on August 3


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