!!!YADKCOLSPAC¡¡¡
October 22, 2018 1:11 PM   Subscribe

 
FIRST
posted by merriment at 1:14 PM on October 22, 2018 [6 favorites]


HI EVERYONE DOES ANYONE READ THE COMMENTS DOWN HERE?
posted by rtha at 1:15 PM on October 22, 2018 [10 favorites]


OH HELL WHERE DID THE YEAR GO?
posted by loquacious at 1:19 PM on October 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


THIRD!
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 1:19 PM on October 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


DAMMIT LOQUACIOUS
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 1:20 PM on October 22, 2018 [13 favorites]


DEAR EVAN HANSEN,

TODAY IS GOING TO BE A GREAT DAY AND HERE'S WHY....

IT'S CAPS LOCK DAY!

SINCERELY,
ME
posted by mogget at 1:20 PM on October 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


IN BEFORE THE COMMENTS REACH THE HUNDREDS!! IT IS A GOOD DAY, INDEED!
posted by cooker girl at 1:21 PM on October 22, 2018


😈🎓🎓🎓🎓🔒☀️ (<---- UPPER CASÉD)
posted by tarshish bound at 1:24 PM on October 22, 2018


THIS IS A GOOD TIME TO POINT OUT THAT POKEY THE PENGUIN HAS A TWITTER!! HOORAY!!
posted by gc at 1:24 PM on October 22, 2018 [2 favorites]


RICK

RICK

RICK
posted by Sequence at 1:26 PM on October 22, 2018 [28 favorites]


YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!1111
posted by eyeballkid at 1:29 PM on October 22, 2018 [1 favorite]




WHY DO I HAVE A CAPSLOCK KEY BUT NO BREAK KEY APPLE?
posted by thelonius at 1:31 PM on October 22, 2018




TODAY IS THE FOURTEENTH ANNIVERSARY OF THE SECOND CAPS LOCK DAY!!!
posted by arcticwoman at 1:37 PM on October 22, 2018 [4 favorites]


123456789
posted by loquacious at 1:37 PM on October 22, 2018


MARGARET: BRICK
BRICK: SKIPPER AND BOOZE AND MENDACITY OH MY
EVERYONE: ARGLEBARGLE
*3 ACTS LATER*
MARGARET: I'M MAGGIE THE CAPS ON A HOT TIN LOCK

~FIN~
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 1:42 PM on October 22, 2018 [6 favorites]


what a terrible day for both my shift keys and my caps lock button to break
posted by GoblinHoney at 1:43 PM on October 22, 2018 [9 favorites]


IS THIS A GOOD FORUM TO ASK FOR FLASHING TAG AGAIN?
posted by chasles at 1:43 PM on October 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


WE'RE NOT GOING TO BE FUCKING SUCK THIS YEAR!
posted by drlith at 1:49 PM on October 22, 2018 [3 favorites]


MAY I INTRODUCE KHASSAKI, WHOSE LIFE WAS FOREVER CHANGED WHEN HE DISCOVERED THE CAPS LOCK KEY : http://qdb us/297667
posted by vincebowdren at 1:53 PM on October 22, 2018


WAKE UP WAKE UP WAAAAAAAAAAKE UUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPP

WHAT A TERRIBLE DAY FOR BOTH MY SHIFT KEYS AND MY CAPS LOCK BUTTON TO BREAK

DON'T WORRY I GOT YOU, BUDDY
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 1:54 PM on October 22, 2018 [3 favorites]


WHY ARENT THERE UPPER CASE AND LOWER CASE NUMBERS?

JUSTICE FOR NUM LOCK!!!!!1111!!!
posted by The Bellman at 1:57 PM on October 22, 2018 [3 favorites]


<MARQUEE>CROCKETY BLOA</MARQUEE>T

<MARQUEE><IMG SRC="ALLCAPS.GIF-WITH-A-SOFT-G.JPG.TIFF"/><MARQUEE<
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 1:58 PM on October 22, 2018 [5 favorites]


Q: WHY DOES MY BOAR NOT HAVE HUGE FOCKING MOSCLE?

A: YOUR CREAMY LITTLE LAD HASS NOT HAD ENOULGH CREAM AND ITS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO GIVE HIM THAT CREAM
posted by Krazor at 1:58 PM on October 22, 2018


SO ANYWAY HERE'S A STORY

ONCE I TOOK RIDING LESSONS, (WESTERN DRESSAGE ACTUALLY, BUT THAT'S NEITHER HERE NOR THERE), ANYWAY. THERE WAS THIS ONE HORSE THAT WAS A PALOMINO AND HIS NAME WAS "LUCKY."

LUCKY WAS A BIG FAT ASSHOLE WHO WOULD ALWAYS TRY TO BITE YOU AND STEP ON YOUR FOOT. FUCK YOU LUCKY.

ONE DAY I CAME TO MY LESSON AND LUCKY WASN'T OUT IN THE PASTURE.

"WHERE'S LUCKY?" I ASKED MY TEACHER, WHO WAS A FORMER CHAMPION BARREL RACER AND A TINY LITTLE WOMAN, BUT THAT'S NOT REALLY RELEVANT TO THIS STORY.

ANYWAY, SHE SAID, OL' LUCKY WAS OUT IN THE PASTURE EATING HIS HEAD OFF ONE DAY AND BAM!! STRUCK BY MOTHERFUCKING LIGHTNING!!!

EVEN GOD DIDN'T LIKE LUCKY. OR ELSE GOD HAS A SENSE OF IRONY AND THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE NOTHING MORE IRONIC THAN STRIKING A HORSE NAMED LUCKY. GOD WAS ONCE PORTRAYED BY ALANIS MORRISSETTE IN THE MOVIE "DOGMA," SO THAT WOULD BE FITTING THOUGH I HAVE OFTEN ASSUMED THAT IRONY IS KIND OF MOOT WHEN YOU ARE AN ALL-POWERFUL, ALL-KNOWING BEING, IT'S NOT LIKE ANYTHING IS EVER GOING TO SURPRISE YOU.

ANYWAY LUCKY IS STILL DEAD AND NOW IT'S CAPSLOCK DAY, THE END.
posted by emjaybee at 1:59 PM on October 22, 2018 [20 favorites]




You know, it’s really hard to read text that’s in all caps...
posted by greermahoney at 2:04 PM on October 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


I FORGOT ABOUT THE CROCKETY BLOAT

WHAT IS CROCKETY BLOAT
posted by asperity at 2:05 PM on October 22, 2018 [2 favorites]


BLINK
posted by pjmoy at 2:05 PM on October 22, 2018


.............................................laps cock

um eye dewing dis write?
posted by lalochezia at 2:05 PM on October 22, 2018


FlNALLY!!
THlS POST WENT UP SO LATE THlS TIME; CAPSLOCK DAY (AKA THE MOST WONDERFUL DAY OF THE YEAR) IS ALMOST OVER BY NOW WHERE I'M LlVlNG!

EDIT: MUSIC RECOMMENDATION FOR WHEN CAPSLOCK DAY IS OVER FOR YOU: CHARLI XCX - UNLOCK IT [YT]
posted by bigendian at 2:09 PM on October 22, 2018


HOW IS BLOATY FORMED? HOW DOES CAPS LOCK GET CROCKETED1/?!
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 2:10 PM on October 22, 2018 [2 favorites]


bah humbug
posted by halation at 2:11 PM on October 22, 2018


> THlS POST WENT UP SO LATE THlS TIME; CAPSLOCK DAY (AKA THE MOST WONDERFUL DAY OF THE YEAR) IS ALMOST OVER BY NOW WHERE I'M LlVlNG!
posted by bigendian


TRY READING TIME FROM LEAST- TO MOST-SIGNIFICANT BYTE MAYBE CAPS LOCK DAY WILL LAST LONGER
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 2:11 PM on October 22, 2018


HAWKMEN! DEEEEEEEYIVE!
posted by PenDevil at 2:12 PM on October 22, 2018 [3 favorites]


ONCE THERE WAS A GUY WHO KNEW A SNAKE! THE SNAKE WAS NAMED JAKE! THEY WERE GOOD FRIENDS!

THAT IS THE ENTIRE STORY!

THE END!
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 2:12 PM on October 22, 2018 [3 favorites]


I THINK MAGA CAPS RUINED CAPS LOCK FOREVER (the polls started turning around on CapsLockDay 2016) SO I SAY JUST HOLD THE SHIFT KEY DOWN. A LITTLE EXTRA EFFORT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

SHIFT KEY.
SHIFT KEY.
SHIFT KEY.
SHIFT KEY> oops
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:14 PM on October 22, 2018 [3 favorites]


YEAH BABY
posted by vibrotronica at 2:17 PM on October 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


YOU MISSPELLED BABBY
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 2:19 PM on October 22, 2018 [8 favorites]


IT IS ALSO WOMBAT DAY
"AUSTRALIANS CELEBRATE WOMBAT DAY IN DIFFERENT WAYS. SOME GO TO THE ZOO TO WATCH WOMBATS AND OTHERS WEAR A T-SHIRT OR A SWEATSHIRT WITH THE IMAGE OF THE ANIMAL. CREATIVE HOUSEWIVES BAKE WOMBAT-SHAPE CAKES AND COOKIES."
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 2:19 PM on October 22, 2018 [5 favorites]


Caps Lock Day is silly, and I refuse to participate. Do you hear me? I REFUSE TO PARTICIPATE!
posted by valkane at 2:21 PM on October 22, 2018 [6 favorites]


TYPING IN ALLCAPS ON THIS THREAD IS BORING LET'S ALL GO TO THE AMERICAN POLITICS CATCHALL THREAD
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 2:22 PM on October 22, 2018 [4 favorites]


DON'T RELITIGATE THE SHIFT KEY DECISION OF 2003
posted by lalochezia at 2:23 PM on October 22, 2018 [11 favorites]


TODAY IS THE DAY THAT WE CAPS-LOCK DAY
SO LISTEN UP LADIES AND CHAPS-LOCK DAY
TAKE STOCK OF YOUR BOOKS AND YOUR MAPS-LOCK DAY
AND BUTTON DOWN ALL OF YOUR FLAPS-LOCK DAY
AND MAKE SURE TO MIND ALL THE GAPS-LOCK DAY
AND DON'T LET YOUR MEMBERSHIP LAPSE-LOCK DAY
IF YOU DO THIS THEN MAYBE, PERHAPS-LOCK DAY
WE'LL ALL HAVE A WONDERFUL CAPS-LOCK DAY
posted by dephlogisticated at 2:23 PM on October 22, 2018 [14 favorites]


> SHIFT KEY.
SHIFT KEY.
SHIFT KEY.
SHIFT KEY> oops
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:14 PM on October 22 [+] [!]


THAT DID NOT WENDELL.
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 2:27 PM on October 22, 2018 [6 favorites]


FORGET WOMBATS, I'M A QUOKKA GIRL. I'M RIDE OR DIE FOR QUOKKAS. I'VE GOT A FUKKIN' QUOKKA TATTOOED ON MY BACK AND IT'S LAUGHING (WHICH QUOKKAS DO CONSTANTLY) WITH A WORD BALLOON THAT SAYS "FUCK U IF U R A HATER."
posted by emjaybee at 2:36 PM on October 22, 2018 [4 favorites]


I'M A QUOKKA GIRL

IN A QUOKKA WORLD?!
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 2:40 PM on October 22, 2018 [22 favorites]


CORRECTION THE SNAKE WAS NOT NAMED JAKE!

THE SNAKE WAS NAMED JONATHAN!

JONATHAN LIVINGSTON SNAKEGULL!

THAT'S STILL THE WHOLE STORY THO! THE END!
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 2:43 PM on October 22, 2018 [3 favorites]


EVERY YEAR I REMIND YOU FUCKERS THAT THIS IS THE DAY BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY

NOT ONCE HAVE I GOTTEN CAKE OR A PONY OR WORLD DOMINATION

i'ma reverse yell at you all to show my displeasure
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 2:43 PM on October 22, 2018 [4 favorites]


Meh. Wake me up when it’s tabs lock day.
posted by The Potate at 2:46 PM on October 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


I'M THE LATE ROBIN LEACH, I'M YELLING, AND I DON'T KNOW WHY!!!!
posted by briank at 2:48 PM on October 22, 2018 [3 favorites]


Meh. Wake me up when it’s tabs lock day.

I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT ON MY KEYBOARD YOU PRESS FN+TAB TO GET TO CAPS LOCK SO I AM ALSO CELEBRATING TAB LOCK DAY IN A WAY, SORT OF.
posted by dis_integration at 2:49 PM on October 22, 2018 [4 favorites]


HAVING SEX WITH CAPS LOCK KEY DOES NOT ACCURATELY DESCRIBE SEX. WHO HAS SEX BY TOUCHING A THING ONCE AND THEN IGNORING IT? SOUNDS LIKE REALLY BAD SEX AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD.
posted by Groundhog Week at 3:19 PM on October 22, 2018 [2 favorites]


I HAVE NOTHING TO ADD
posted by lumpenprole at 3:24 PM on October 22, 2018 [2 favorites]


I HAD A CHOICE BETWEEN DOING THIS AND REPLYING TO SOMEONE ON HACKER NEWS

GUESS WHICH ONE I CHOSE
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 3:25 PM on October 22, 2018 [6 favorites]


I VOTED.
WHO DO I NOTIFY TO STOP THE ADS.

SO I SAW MY MOM BECAUSE IF ONE PERSON IS GOING TO INSIST ON YOUR REAL BIRTHDATE, IT WOULD BE YOUR MOM IF SHE WAS CONSCIOUS FOR IT. AND I WAS SO BUSY TRYING TO GET SO MANY ERRANDS DONE I FORGOT ABOUT CAPS LOCK UNTIL I WAS YELLING ABOUT VOTING AND SUDDENLY IT ALL CAME TOGETHER IN A RUBE GOLDBERG FASHION LIKE THAT PARTY IN BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S.
posted by provoliminal at 3:30 PM on October 22, 2018


IF YOU ARE INTO JAPANESE ELECTRONIC MUSIC THE BAND CAPSULE HAS AN ALBUM CALLED CAPS LOCK IF YOU ARE INTO THAT SORT OF THING I AM FRIENDS LET ME TELL YOU ITS PRETTY GOOD
posted by gc at 3:32 PM on October 22, 2018 [2 favorites]


> IT ALL CAME TOGETHER IN A RUBE GOLDBERG FASHION LIKE THAT PARTY IN BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S.

PLEASE EXPLAIN MORE I DO NOT REMEMBER THE FILM
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 3:34 PM on October 22, 2018 [6 favorites]


OCTOBER 22 IS MY DEAD MOTHER'S BIRTHDAY AND SO APPROPRIATE BECAUSE SHE TYPED WITHER CAPSLOCK ON ALL HER LIFE. FIRST ON AN OLD UNDERWOOD FROM THE 1930S THEN A ROYAL PORTABLE AND THEN AN IBM SELECTRIC THAT SHE USED FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE. !!11!! CROCKETY BLOAT MOM11!!1
posted by a humble nudibranch at 3:39 PM on October 22, 2018 [9 favorites]


I WANT TO BE CONTRARY, BUT NOT THAT MUCH.
posted by Splunge at 3:41 PM on October 22, 2018 [4 favorites]


BASICALLY, THE SAME CIRCUMSTANCES THAT SET A WOMAN'S HAT ON FIRE WILL CONVERGE TO PUT IT OUT.

AND LET'S CALL IT A JEFF GOLDBLUM FASHION AS IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY, TOO.
posted by provoliminal at 3:45 PM on October 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


I REMAIN SKEPTICAL THAT TOAST RHYMES WITH BLOAT BUT MAYBE IT'S ONE OF THOSE FREE VERSE THINGS

WHICH IS LIKE PLAYING TENNIS WITHOUT A NET OR SO I AM GIVEN TO UNDERSTAND
posted by Sing Or Swim at 3:46 PM on October 22, 2018


BOMWAT GOLDTHNAKE
posted by tarshish bound at 3:49 PM on October 22, 2018 [3 favorites]


BOMBERBLOAT CROCKERSNATCH
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 4:01 PM on October 22, 2018 [2 favorites]


AND NOW, THE METAFILTER ELOCUTION SOCIETY SHOUTS THE NIGHTENGALE BY SIR PHILIP SIDNEY:

THE NIGHTINGALE, AS SOON AS APRIL BRINGETH
UNTO HER RESTED SENSE A PERFECT WAKING,
WHILE LATE BARE EARTH, PROUD OF NEW CLOTHING, SPRINGETH,
SINGS OUT HER WOES, A THORN HER SONG-BOOK MAKING,
AND MOURNFULLY BEWAILING,
HER THROAT IN TUNES EXPRESSETH
WHAT GRIEF HER BREAST OPPRESSETH
FOR TEREUS’ FORCE ON HER CHASTE WILL PREVAILING.
O PHILOMELA FAIR, O TAKE SOME GLADNESS,
THAT HERE IS JUSTER CAUSE OF PLAINTFUL SADNESS:
THINE EARTH NOW SPRINGS, MINE FADETH;
THY THORN WITHOUT, MY THORN MY HEART INVADETH.

ALAS, SHE HATH NO OTHER CAUSE OF ANGUISH
BUT TEREUS’ LOVE, ON HER BY STRONG HAND WROKEN,
WHEREIN SHE SUFFERING, ALL HER SPIRITS LANGUISH;
FULL WOMANLIKE COMPLAINS HER WILL WAS BROKEN.
BUT I, WHO DAILY CRAVING,
CANNOT HAVE TO CONTENT ME,
HAVE MORE CAUSE TO LAMENT ME,
SINCE WANTING IS MORE WOE THAN TOO MUCH HAVING.
O PHILOMELA FAIR, O TAKE SOME GLADNESS,
THAT HERE IS JUSTER CAUSE OF PLAINTFUL SADNESS:
THINE EARTH NOW SPRINGS, MINE FADETH;
THY THORN WITHOUT, MY THORN MY HEART INVADETH
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:08 PM on October 22, 2018 [7 favorites]


         __                        ___________________________________
       _( _)_                     /    I KNOW CAPS LOCK IS GRATE,    \
      ( _) ( )            _____  |      BUT WHY DO YOU HAVE TO       |
     (_)    (_)          @@@@@@@ |  SHOUT CROCKETY BLOAT TWICE?      |
   __/     . |          @@@  .|_  \ __________________________________/
 /    \  --\_) _________@@(    _) |/                  | |         |
|   /\  \__/)-/_______(@@@@__-/  A HERETIC            | |        |'
|--|**|\__ --|        (___)   \___ /\  ##             !_!-v----v-"
|*****|__ |____________| \    |  /    \##    __--"""i i""""""""""i
 \*(#####)  ||      ||    \___|____/\__##   !_______! !__________!
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
posted by benzenedream at 4:11 PM on October 22, 2018 [4 favorites]


I HAVE NO CAPS LOCK KEY AND I MUST SHOUT!!!

damn chromebook keyboard
posted by octothorpe at 4:12 PM on October 22, 2018




BOO AT THE ZOO
posted by nickmark at 4:30 PM on October 22, 2018


WISHES POWER HOPE
posted by nickmark at 4:30 PM on October 22, 2018


GED’S FLOOR STORE BIGGEST FLOORING OUTLET IN NORTH TEXAS
posted by nickmark at 4:31 PM on October 22, 2018


(I AM IN A CAR AND HAVING TROUBLE THINHKING OF THINGS TO SAY SO I WM POSTING THE TEXT OF BILLBOARDS IF TGE BILLBOARD IS IN CAPS LOCK TGAT WAY EVEN IF IT COMES DOWN SOMEDAY IT CAN LIVE FOREVER ON METAFLITER)
posted by nickmark at 4:34 PM on October 22, 2018 [3 favorites]


OUR MISDION IS YOUR GOOD HEALTH
posted by nickmark at 4:35 PM on October 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


BOO AT TGE ZOO AGAIN
posted by nickmark at 4:35 PM on October 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


THAT IS NOT GOOD DATA PRESERVATION PRACTICE IF YOU WANT TO MAKE SURE YOUR DATA IS SAFE YOU HAVE TO POST THE TEXT OF BILLBOARDS TO METAFILTER AND ALSO BUY A BILLBOARD AND PUT AS MANY METAFILTER COMMENTS AS YOU CAN ON IT.

THEN YOUR DATA WILL BE SAFE.

ALSO YOU HAVE TO FORWARD THIS COMMENT TO THE FIRST FIVE PEOPLE ON YOUR CONTACTS LIST

ITS OKAY PEOPLE WHOSE NAMES START WITH “A” LOVE GETTING METAFILTER COMMENTS IN THEIR EMAIL.

<SMALL> </SMALL>

posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 4:37 PM on October 22, 2018 [3 favorites]


I HAD A CHOICE BETWEEN DOING THIS AND REPLYING TO SOMEONE ON HACKER NEWS

IF A HCAKER CANT FIND THIER CAPS LOCK THEN THAT IS SOME SANDRA BULLOCKS IN 'THE NET' KIND OF BULLSHIT HAXOERY
posted by benzenedream at 4:41 PM on October 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


THAT MOVIE WAS A DOCUMENTARY WE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN IT MORE SERIOUSLY
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 4:45 PM on October 22, 2018 [3 favorites]


I SWEAR THIS PLACE GETS LOUDER EVERY TIME I COME IN HERE. SLAM THAT DRINK AND LET'S GO SOMEWHERE WE CAN HEAR OURSELVES THINK.
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:46 PM on October 22, 2018 [6 favorites]


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 4:47 PM on October 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


THIS IS LITERALLY THE ONLY PLACE/TIME I CAN POST HOW I REALLY FEEL

ITS WONDERFUL

WAIT NO TERRIBLE. ITS TERRIBLE.
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 4:48 PM on October 22, 2018 [5 favorites]


ALSO REAL HCAKERS DONT HAVE CAPTSLOCK BECAUSE THEY HABE REMAPPED IT TO CTRL OR IF THEYRE SUPER COOL TO ESC

:WQ

:WQ

:WQ

ZZ

posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 4:49 PM on October 22, 2018 [5 favorites]


JUST KICKED ASS ON FIRST DAY AT NEW JOB SALMON MARTINIS FOR EVERYONE 1111
posted by vrakatar at 4:50 PM on October 22, 2018 [6 favorites]


ON AN APPLE II THIS ALL LOOKS PRETTY NORMAL
posted by wordless reply at 4:54 PM on October 22, 2018 [6 favorites]


THE RELATED POSTS ARE A THING OF BEAUTY
posted by solarion at 4:59 PM on October 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


I MADE A JOKE I DIDNT LIKE SO I DELETED IT IN THE EDIT WINDOW CAPS LOCK DAY IS GREAT
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 5:04 PM on October 22, 2018


I’M RANDY BUTTERNUBS
posted by snortasprocket at 5:27 PM on October 22, 2018


TODAY MY LITTLE DOG PETER MET A LITTLE DOG NAMED PETE

THEY LIKED EACH OTHER

OK I WILL GO SLOCK A CAP NOW
SLOCK A CAP IN YOUR ASS
posted by moonmilk at 5:40 PM on October 22, 2018


POSTED BY 23SKIDOO AT 5:59 PM ON OCTOBER 22

NOT IN MY TIME ZONE, IT WASN'T
posted by straight at 5:53 PM on October 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


HAPPY JEFF GOLDBLUM’S BIRTHDAY EVERYBODY
posted by rewil at 5:58 PM on October 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


I HAVE ONE QUESTION AND ONE QUESTION ONLY: EXPLOSIONS?
posted by SPrintF at 6:07 PM on October 22, 2018 [2 favorites]


HOW DOES ONE JOIN THE METAFILTER ELOCUTION SOCIETY?

ALSO I WOULD LIKE A T-SHIRT, THANK YOU.

PREFERABLY DELIVERED BY A CANNON.

A REAL CANNON.

FIRED BY GRITTY, OBVIOUSLY.
posted by MrVisible at 6:30 PM on October 22, 2018 [2 favorites]


YOU ARE ALREADY A MEMBER OF THE METAFILTER ELOCUTION SOCIETY.

IN YOUR HEART, YOU ALWAYS WERE.

WE DON'T HAVE T-SHIRTS.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:47 PM on October 22, 2018 [5 favorites]


METAFILTER: SO IT'S PROBABLY NOT AS CLEVER AS I THOUGHT
posted by loquacious at 7:02 PM on October 22, 2018 [4 favorites]


HOW DOES ONE JOIN THE METAFILTER ELOCUTION SOCIETY?

A BETTER QUESTION WOULD BE: HOW DOES ONE LEAVE THE METAFILTER ELOCUTION SOCIETY

...

ONE DOESN'T

EVER
posted by halation at 7:10 PM on October 22, 2018 [4 favorites]


I TOTALLY THOUGHT LAST YEAR WAS THE YEAR THAT MOST DESERVED A CAPSLOCK PRIMAL SCREAM, BUT I HAVE BEEN PROVEN WRONG BY THE OUT OF CONTROL CAROUSEL OF TIRE-FIRES THAT IS 2018.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
posted by polymath at 7:13 PM on October 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


A certain poet is rollingoverinhisgrave lightlylightly gravelygravelly.
posted by kozad at 7:23 PM on October 22, 2018


I MADE WHIPPED CREAM TO PUT ON PUMPKIN WAFFLES FOR DESSERT. I JUST THOUGHT THAT MIGHT BE NICE TO SHARE.
posted by kalimac at 7:26 PM on October 22, 2018 [3 favorites]


A certain poet is rollingoverinhisgrave lightlylightly gravelygravelly.

ASK YOU ASK WHEN
ASK AND ASK AND ASK AGAIN
OF THE SIMPLE SILLY LITTLE THING
POSTING IN THE BLUE
posted by loquacious at 7:34 PM on October 22, 2018 [2 favorites]


IS THAT A DAVY CROCKETTY BLOAT?
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:36 PM on October 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


>I TOTALLY THOUGHT LAST YEAR WAS THE YEAR THAT MOST DESERVED A CAPSLOCK PRIMAL SCREAM, BUT I HAVE BEEN PROVEN WRONG BY THE OUT OF CONTROL CAROUSEL OF TIRE-FIRES THAT IS 2018.

IS THIS THE NEW VENTING THREAD
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 7:37 PM on October 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


TIME IS MELTING

ALL THINGS CONVERGE

ALL THREADS ARE THE VENTING THREAD; THE VENTING THREAD IS ALL THREADS
posted by halation at 7:40 PM on October 22, 2018 [6 favorites]


WHY ARENT THERE UPPER CASE AND LOWER CASE NUMBERS?

THE ROMANS INVENTED CAPS LOCK IN ORDER TO DO MATH BUT THEY NEVER FIGURED OUT HOW TO MAKE IT WORK WITH ZERO OR THE LETTER U
posted by straight at 7:57 PM on October 22, 2018 [4 favorites]


THE LETTER J WAS ALSO A PROBLEM
posted by straight at 7:57 PM on October 22, 2018


I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU ALL
posted by scruss at 8:09 PM on October 22, 2018


smash the capstriarchy!
posted by CynicalKnight at 8:16 PM on October 22, 2018 [2 favorites]


OH MY GOD I ALMOST MISSED IT
posted by chinesefood at 8:31 PM on October 22, 2018


A CROCKETY DAY TO YOU ALL
posted by LobsterMitten at 8:46 PM on October 22, 2018 [4 favorites]


C:/>MKDIR CAPSLOCK
C:/>CD CAPSLOCK
C:/CAPSLOCK>MKDIR TODAY
C:/CAPSLOCK>CD TODAY
C:/CAPSLOCK/TODAY>_
posted by JoeXIII007 at 8:55 PM on October 22, 2018 [3 favorites]


YES
posted by emd3737 at 9:01 PM on October 22, 2018


HAPPY CAPS LOCK DAY EVERY BODY
posted by Phssthpok at 9:21 PM on October 22, 2018


YOU HAVE A PAWS KEY
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 9:25 PM on October 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


C:/CAPSLOCK/TODAY>_

C:/CAPSLOCK/RUN
RUN CAPSLOCK/RUN
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:29 PM on October 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


> YOU HAVE A PAWS KEY

THAT'S FOR WHEN I NEED A BREAK.
posted by Phssthpok at 9:34 PM on October 22, 2018 [3 favorites]


AGAIN?
posted by deludingmyself at 9:37 PM on October 22, 2018


SO ANYWAY THIS IS THE YEAR THAT I DISCOVERED THAT DAVE SECRETARY’S CLASSIC TIME FOR SOME STORIES HAS BEEN PURGED FROM THE INTERNET AND NOW I AM GRIEVING FOR THE BEST STORIES EVER TOLD TO YOU BY A FRIEND WHILE YOU RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN TO DO SOMETHING AWESOME AND ILL ADVISED.

NO, THE ANSWER IS TAWNY.
DANGER POINT!
MY FUCKIN’ REEDS!


I AM GOING TO MISS THAT CHUNK OF THE WONDERFUL WEB.
posted by brism at 10:12 PM on October 22, 2018 [2 favorites]


(I've found myself imagining all of these comments being read shouted argued in the voices of the Monty Python pepperpot ladies...which has, frankly, saved whatever shred of sanity I have left)
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:38 PM on October 22, 2018 [2 favorites]


YAAAY I DIDNT MISS IT THIS YEAR!!!
posted by joedan at 10:49 PM on October 22, 2018


TEN MORE MINUTES OF CAPSLOCK LIFE

IN MY TIME ZONE

WHAT IF CAPSLOCK WERE ITS OWN TIME ZONE???
posted by asperity at 10:51 PM on October 22, 2018


CAPSLOCK DAY IN HAWAII IS/WAS/WILL BE AWESOME. FOREVER.
posted by blob at 11:45 PM on October 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


CAPS LOCK, IT'S LIKE CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL!
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 1:13 AM on October 23, 2018 [4 favorites]


I WILL BE A REBEL AND KEEP ON CAPS LOCKING!!!!
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:30 AM on October 23, 2018


LOOKS LIKE I MISSED THIS!
posted by filtergik at 4:05 AM on October 23, 2018


(I've found myself imagining all of these comments being read shouted argued in the voices of the Monty Python pepperpot ladies...which has, frankly, saved whatever shred of sanity I have left)

YOU DON'T NEED TO REALLY STRETCH YOUR IMAGINATION THAT MUCH, DEARIE, WE'RE RIGHT HERE YELLING AT A PENGUIN
posted by loquacious at 4:14 AM on October 23, 2018 [3 favorites]


I’M ALWAYS LATE FOR EVERYTHING
posted by kinnakeet at 4:31 AM on October 23, 2018 [1 favorite]


I WILL BE A REBEL AND KEEP ON CAPS LOCKING!!!!
posted by GenjiandProust

KEEP ON LOCKIN IN THE FREE WORLD.
posted by Trivia Newton John at 5:47 AM on October 23, 2018 [2 favorites]


WHAT'S A PENCIL, GRANDPA?
posted by loquacious at 7:18 AM on October 23, 2018 [1 favorite]


WHEN MY FATHER WROTE EMAILS HE WOULD FREQUENTLY DO SO IN CAPS LOCK AND WHILE AMUSING IT WAS ALSO AN EXCELLENT TYPOGRAPHICAL APPROXIMATION OF HIS JAMES EARL JONES-ESQUE VOICE AND ALSO REMINDED ME OF THE CHARACTER CREED FROM SHINING FORCE II FOR THE SEGA GENESIS
posted by koucha at 7:55 AM on October 23, 2018 [3 favorites]


I AM OBSERVING TODAY DUE TO UNFORSEEN CIRCUMSTANCES
<<< CAPS LOCK >>>
FOLLOWED BY
<<< CAPS LOCK (OBSERVED) >>>
ON A TUESDAY BECAUSE WHAT ELSE IS A BLOAT SO CROCKETY?

ANYONE WHO HAS A PROBLEM WITH THIS PLEASE OPEN YOUR LAW BOOK TO THE SECTION ON CAPS LAW(K) AND YOU'LL SEE I'M PERFECTLY IN KEEPING WITH TOASTER STRUDEL INTERSTATE REGULATIONS
posted by DyRE at 8:11 AM on October 23, 2018 [3 favorites]


shit, i missed it.
posted by fiercecupcake at 8:18 AM on October 23, 2018


Amazing the change today in the noise level in here.
posted by BlueHorse at 8:43 AM on October 23, 2018 [1 favorite]


YOU DON'T NEED TO REALLY STRETCH YOUR IMAGINATION THAT MUCH, DEARIE, WE'RE RIGHT HERE YELLING AT A PENGUIN

BURMA!
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:20 AM on October 23, 2018 [1 favorite]


IS IT STILL CAPSLOCK DAY
posted by sweetjane at 2:02 PM on October 23, 2018


I HAVE BECOME COMFORTABLY NUM LOCK
posted by moonmilk at 4:58 PM on October 23, 2018 [7 favorites]


OK you kids, time to use your indoor voices, or there will be A TIME OUT!!
posted by BlueHorse at 6:00 PM on October 23, 2018 [1 favorite]


INTERCOURSE THE TIME OUT MORE YELLING
posted by loquacious at 8:04 PM on October 23, 2018 [3 favorites]


HEY GUIS I FOUND KIBOS OLD NUMBER IN MY PHONE AND CALLED HIM UP AND HE WANTS ME TO TELL YOU IT'S ACTUALLY CAPS LOCK YEAR BECAUSE IT'S THE FIFTEENTH ANNIVERSARY AND STUFF AND WE'RE ALL ACTUALLY REALLY LATE SO WE HAVE A LOT OF CAPSLOCKING TO MAKE UP FOR
posted by loquacious at 10:07 PM on October 23, 2018 [3 favorites]


YOU NEVER CALL YOU NEVER WRITE
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 6:09 AM on October 24, 2018


THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE CONSTANTLY YELLING AT ME
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:41 AM on October 24, 2018


I'M NOT YELLING YOU'RE YELLING
posted by loquacious at 11:00 AM on October 24, 2018 [1 favorite]


HOW DO I JOIN THE METAFILTER ELECTROCUTION SOCIETY AGAIN?
posted by Splunge at 2:40 PM on October 24, 2018


THIS IS THE YEAR THAT I DISCOVERED THAT DAVE SECRETARY’S CLASSIC TIME FOR SOME STORIES HAS BEEN PURGED FROM THE INTERNET AND NOW I AM GRIEVING FOR THE BEST STORIES EVER TOLD

NO YOURE GOOD MAN SEE THE INTERNET ARCHIVE HAS YOUR BACK
posted by scruss at 3:19 PM on October 24, 2018 [1 favorite]


I'M NOT YELLING YOU'RE YELLING

I SCREAM
YOU SCREAM
THE POLICE COME
IT'S AWKWARD
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:32 PM on October 24, 2018 [2 favorites]


I HAVE ARTICULATED
THE SCREAMS
THAT WERE IN
YOUR BRAINBOX

AND WHICH
YOU WERE PROBABLY
REPRESSING
FOR SANITY

FORGIVE ME
THEY WERE DELICIOUS
SO WILD
AND SO OLD
posted by Splunge at 3:58 PM on October 24, 2018 [2 favorites]


I ONCE LIVED NEXT DOOR TO A SCREAMER
WHO COULD SHRIEK LIKE AN OVERSEXED LEMUR
THEN I FOUND OUT
HER DEAFENING SHOUT
WAS IN RESPONSE TO A BEAU'S CLEVELAND STEAMER

Repeated from another thread because (a) relevant and (b) hey I really like it
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:18 PM on October 24, 2018


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