More like Meh-loton
January 28, 2019 10:42 PM   Subscribe

 
This is great, like every selfie on Twitter/Instagram.
posted by rokusan at 10:51 PM on January 28 [3 favorites]


Wow, I got way more laughs out of this than i probably deserved to. Nicely done Clue.
posted by OHenryPacey at 10:58 PM on January 28 [4 favorites]


Those ads really are the Worst, for the particular value of Worst that takes in "visually effective."
posted by praemunire at 12:29 AM on January 29 [1 favorite]


I'm part of a growing movement to re-frame cycling as transport rather than sport, but not in a completely exclusive way. There are definitely folks in our groups who have rollers at home and keep a drop-handlebar speed bike next to their durable commuter.

But I have to wonder what investor genuinely thought that there was still a top end in the market for stationary bicycles. This isn't anything that couldn't be done with a couple of standard sensors, an iPad and a turbo-trainer. Heck, there's probably a mode for this in that Strava thingy already?
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 2:29 AM on January 29 [2 favorites]


Peloton is worth $4 billion so I think it worked out pretty well for the investors! Turns out people will pay a lot of money for a well-marketed fancy exercise bike and classes.
posted by adrianhon at 2:35 AM on January 29 [14 favorites]


Is that actual sales, or just market value?

I mean I'm all for people not driving their wankenpanzers to the gym to get on a stationary bike, don't get me wrong…
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 2:39 AM on January 29 [5 favorites]


Some details here - $700 million in revenue in 2018.
posted by adrianhon at 2:43 AM on January 29 [5 favorites]


Something like 5 of the 24 people I work with day to day have them. The one actual serious cyclist does not, he has rollers.

From what I understand if you are someone who spins and has small children it's tremendous. I think the other big audience is wealthy SAHMs who have moved to the burbs.

It neatly packaged and helps replicate the experience of going to a spin studio. They aren't aiming for someone who knows what a turbo trainer is.

Don't get me wrong I'm not sure it ultimately succeeds, but it's not crazy.
posted by JPD at 2:53 AM on January 29 [21 favorites]


People who have some money will often pay a surprising amount of it for aspirational marketing that carries the class markers of people who have lots and lots of money.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 2:53 AM on January 29 [33 favorites]


Isn't nearly all advertising aspirational?
posted by JPD at 2:58 AM on January 29 [8 favorites]


More charitably, if it's cold or otherwise lousy outside, and you think spin classes would be more motivating than just riding a stationary bike, but you hate leaving your house and exercising in front of other people, I could see looking at one of these. Sure you could cobble something similar together from disparate components, but here it all is in one slick package.

Also there are probably some genuinely rich people who think, "I want a stationary bike. What is the best one? Oh, a Peloton," and just buy that.

But there's a reason why the marketing is all very fit, sleek people in very fancy houses.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 3:09 AM on January 29 [9 favorites]


Isn't nearly all advertising aspirational?

Not really. I'm looking around at the four or five ads that I can see from my kitchen table here (mostly packaging—a box of evelopes, a hair dryer box, a window insulation kit, a container of Greek yogurt, and a grocery store circular—and only the hair dryer box has what I would consider aspirational advertising on it.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 3:14 AM on January 29 [4 favorites]


As a Garbage Person (tm) I LOOOOOOOOOOVE spinning, which has literally nothing to do with actual cycling. Put me in an overpriced darkened room with strobe lighting and an Instagram model spouting pseudo spiritual pap and I'm in hog heaven. It's like raving for people who love rules, clubbing for the over 30 crowd, a schweaty aerobics workout for the deeply uncoordinated. If I had the room and money for a Peloton bike I'd probably buy one.

Also, Peloton is an aspirational luxury product. It makes sense that their digital campaigns would be slick and glossy. Not all advertising is necessarily aspirational, but all advertising needs to make the product look desirable, at least. It doesn't make their photography any less hilarious.
posted by nerdfish at 3:22 AM on January 29 [59 favorites]


Metafilter: only the hair dryer box has what I would consider aspirational advertising on it.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 3:32 AM on January 29 [10 favorites]


Don’t be ridiculous. The bikes don’t live out there, how gauche, they have a closet. Luk pulls it out on shedule when it’s time for my ride, and he puts it away after. Then he gives me a rubdown. Then he licks the sweat from my body.
posted by seanmpuckett at 3:38 AM on January 29 [13 favorites]


"Wankerpanzers"
Day made.
posted by evilmomlady at 3:47 AM on January 29 [11 favorites]


enjoy the half hate-on, but that seems to be about what other top end models cost (NordicTrack, for one)......maybe it's too much, it probably is......if I had a lot of money I'd buy some overpriced stuff too, though
posted by thelonius at 3:55 AM on January 29 [1 favorite]


I mean it's super obnoxious, but at least they don't expect you to turn your living room into the World of Tron.
posted by snuffleupagus at 4:42 AM on January 29 [2 favorites]


I can speak to some of this, since I’m involved in marketing it at work. Apparently there’s a huge potential market for smart fitness equipment, and it’s aimed mainly at people who want the experience of gym classes, but don’t feel comfortable in an actual class, or can find one at an actual gym that fits their schedule. As pointed out above, the equipment itself is about what you’d pay for a good quality item from other brands, but the real selling point is the classes and instruction.

The weightlifting equivalent is Tonal, which is slightly less picturesque in their advertising since it has to be installed on a wall.
posted by Autumnheart at 4:47 AM on January 29 [7 favorites]


I know a couple of Peloton class instructors, and they know who their client base is. Most serious cyclists have “smart” trainers, which hook up with virtual road courses on platforms such as Zwift that are chock full of hundreds or thousands of fellow online riders. It’s way better as training than some buff 25-year-old yelling at you from a screen.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 4:51 AM on January 29 [1 favorite]


To be fair, you get a lot more space available to you for your Peloton bike once you move both of your bathtubs outside.
posted by Huffy Puffy at 5:02 AM on January 29 [6 favorites]


Metafilter: overpriced darkened room with strobe lighting and an Instagram model spouting pseudo spiritual pap

I had the grrar at the ad's but if it gets folks moving their legs regularly it's a win personally and societally. If the video game addiction element works to keep the legs moving that's great.
posted by sammyo at 5:07 AM on January 29 [6 favorites]


The ads are dumb but if I could afford one and had a big house I'd definitely get a Peloton rather than trudging through the snow all winter to get to the gym. Some of the objections seem to underestimate how many barriers to people exercising this can cut through.

"No wireless. Less space than a Nomad. Lame."
posted by grouse at 5:14 AM on January 29 [9 favorites]


If you could afford one and had a big house, you probably wouldn’t be trudging anywhere but downstairs to your heated garage, though.
posted by rodlymight at 5:47 AM on January 29 [2 favorites]


We have one. I wasn't sold initially, but I am now. One person uses it as the primary workout 3-4x per week, the other (me) uses it as a fill-in when I can't get to the gym maybe once or twice per week. I think overall it's got about 500 rides on it now, which makes it worth it and then some. It really does make a significant difference in motivation, and we're both former athletes . Having it in your house removes the "bundle up and go out / I don't have time" hurdle (especially with kids around), and having scheduled live ride times removes the "I'll just put it off another 30 minutes / repeat until out of time" hurdle. Yeah, there are on-demand rides and a whole library of stuff, but it's really the live streaming and interactivity that provides the hook.

Their business model is excellent as well; they've managed to scale one spin studio that used to hold 30 people into live rides with 1000-2000 people at a time, let alone all the people who are doing it on demand / timeshifted. I think some of the special occasion rides have ~20K people on them at the same time. The gamification / leaderboard / metrics help too, no doubt.

They also have a treadmill, but I'm not sold on that yet for a variety of reasons that I won't get into here. We already had a craigslist-acquired treadmill, so we got some weights and just cast their treadmill / weights classes onto a TV from the app. I'd actually recommend that to pretty much anyone who has a treadmill and wants to use it more, if you can afford it - I think their all digital subscription is like ~30 per month and you get access to the entire library plus the live classes (yoga, weights, treadmill, bike).

What bothers me most about the ads are the cords. Never plugged in. IT DOESN'T WORK IF YOU DON'T PLUG IT IN.
posted by true at 5:53 AM on January 29 [34 favorites]


Peloton bikes are MUCH cheaper than the equivalent high-end treadmills, and there are definitely other exercise bikes in the same price range. So, I mean, are they spendy? Yes. It's not for me. But if you're proposing actually using it on a daily basis, if you can afford a MacBook Pro, you can afford a Peloton. It's nice, but it's not "no middle class person could ever afford this" nice.

On the other hand, these promo images, man, if you're going to shoot a photo of one in someone's living room where the living room itself is supposed to look aspirational, you'd think that professional advertising people could do a better job of making it look like it belongs in that room, and not like they did what I did, which was putting the (cheap, in my case) exercise bike in the living room because I was too lazy to find a place for it anywhere else.
posted by Sequence at 6:05 AM on January 29 [4 favorites]


Holy shit, that Tonal thing is futuristic as hell. I know I’m supposed to roll my eyes but I kind of love it.
posted by Sokka shot first at 6:06 AM on January 29 [2 favorites]


I'd really rather just go to the Y and use their equipment and let them do the maintenance.
posted by octothorpe at 6:08 AM on January 29 [1 favorite]


I mean, it's fun to mock rich people, but as rich people indulgences go, this seems pretty benign. It would be kind of funny to juxtapose pictures of actual Peloton set-ups with the ones from the marketing materials. I bet that in real life, there's a lot more "please ignore the laundry hamper filled with dirty clothes, because the exercise room doubles as the laundry room" going on.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:30 AM on January 29 [8 favorites]


Holy shit, that Tonal thing is futuristic as hell. I know I’m supposed to roll my eyes but I kind of love it.

Right? It's like what Bang & Olufsen was like in the eighties: that sort of modernist aesthetic that would eventually be identified with Apple stuff. I couldn't afford it, but just getting to play with it for a few minutes was like getting a shot of future juice.
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:44 AM on January 29 [3 favorites]


I mean, it's fun to mock rich people, but as rich people indulgences go, this seems pretty benign.

I spent part of my morning pushing a land rover out of a foot of snow for somebody who couldn't be arsed to so much as say thanks afterwards. If people with too much money want to spend it on feeling like they don't need to roll with the plebs, I think we're all better off if they do in their own homes.

That kind of money buys you an amazing bike, for what it's worth.
posted by mhoye at 6:55 AM on January 29 [1 favorite]


And then there's the one with the fixed-gear bike on the wall, as if doing double duty as a piece of modern art. Which seems to be a thing among certain types of moneyed hipster types.

There's a technical video series I watch, which is presented by two engineers in Brooklyn, apparently from one of their apartments. The content is excellent, but the hip-Brooklynite signifiers on the set are distractingly palpable. And yes, there is a fixie hanging on a wall, as well as a vintage radio and a Haruki Murakami novel.
posted by acb at 7:01 AM on January 29 [1 favorite]


Oh wow, Tonal. I would buy that today if I had fun money in that amount, especially as I'm trying to lay down bone in my last pre-menopausal days. I may start saving up fun money although the monthly fee kinda makes it eh, as that's less than I pay for my part of our family gym membership.

The lifestyle advertising is amusing but I'm kind of all for the actually-use-your-bike parts of Peloton. I don't think it's equivalent to a class where you create a community but for those who can afford it and prefer to be at home, it's pretty awesome.
posted by warriorqueen at 7:10 AM on January 29


a fixie hanging on a wall

Fixies! That's a trucker-hat-and-PBR-and-Parliments era signifier.
posted by thelonius at 7:15 AM on January 29 [4 favorites]


I'm part of a growing movement to re-frame cycling as transport rather than sport, but not in a completely exclusive way.
Yeah, but Peloton makes sense because cycling where upper middle class people live is generally ridiculously dangerous and lousy. Million dollar homes are generally in relatively isolated areas connected to major metros by arterial streets and highways.
posted by The_Vegetables at 7:20 AM on January 29 [7 favorites]


This isn't anything that couldn't be done with a couple of standard sensors, an iPad and a turbo-trainer. Heck, there's probably a mode for this in that Strava thingy already?

So, you could buy a whole bunch of separate things that are all fairly pricey individually, or you could buy one thing that packages it all together around the same total price point. I mean, I don't know what a turbo-trainer actually is, but a quick google reveals pricepoints between $150 and $1000 (that's quite a spread!). Not everyone who spins actually, like, rides a bike on streets, so maybe you'd even have to buy yourself a bike to use on that trainer.

I can see why the Peleton is attractive. If you like group exercise classes (I do not) but work full time and then have to pick your kids up at school and make them dinner and oversee their homework and bedtime, it'd be a pretty nice thing to then be able to go down to your basement and take a class once you finally get some free time.
posted by soren_lorensen at 7:30 AM on January 29 [5 favorites]


I'd really rather just go to the Y and use their equipment and let them do the maintenance.

Then you're not the target audience. A lot of us either don't like the big communal spaces because we don't feel welcome, or because they're too loud, or because the commitment to go somewhere after work isn't easy.

Say what you will about this stuff, but they're doing a good job of gamifying it. It's a fancy peripheral for a cycling video game where you can join massive raids in your cycling guild at the scheduled time. Okay, maybe it's not quite that (and maybe it should be!), but this honestly seems like a useful product/service that people want.
posted by explosion at 7:31 AM on January 29 [12 favorites]


So I'll fully own this won't be my highest-value comment of all time, but... like razors shaving hairless legs or family cars whizzing round gorgeous mountain roads , when do adverts ever show products in realistic use scenarios? Like, the tweets were funny and good but I don't feel like this campaign was... unusually bad in this regard?
posted by ominous_paws at 7:31 AM on January 29 [3 favorites]


oh, and if someone wanted to buy me the weightlifting version of this I would so very happily accept it, especially as a very new, very time poor parent (but subsequently perhaps never admit to owning it)
posted by ominous_paws at 7:33 AM on January 29


I would probably get one if I had the space. Currently I have an old road bike on a smart trainer and a hand-me-down PC running Zwift in a dank corner of my basement. I enjoy it but just have a hard time getting my self to go down there. At this point I much prefer hitting the elliptical and treadmill at Planet Fitness.
posted by slogger at 7:37 AM on January 29


The people I know who love cycling treat it as a half-day, or even full day experience. 30 minutes on a Peloton is A Lot; longer than an hour on a Peloton would kill me. That's the selling point! Spin is a quick, easy way for me to get intense cardio (on my mom's Peloton lol) without aggravating my finicky knee.

The Peloton ads are ridiculous and telling for what they think is aspirational for their demographic, though. Every time I see the lady who wakes up to pound out a session before sunrise, Manhattan skyscrapers surrounding her, I get a distinct Patrick Bateman vibe.
posted by grandiloquiet at 7:38 AM on January 29 [9 favorites]


Halloween Jack: It's like what Bang & Olufsen was like in the eighties

Although the commercial was for Maxell cassettes, I was disappointed to learn that the stereo didn’t come with the butler to offer me something different while I sulked in an oversized chair with my wine glass.
posted by dr_dank at 7:40 AM on January 29 [2 favorites]


Those tweets were funny but also the product makes sense and its marketed largely to people for whom those photos are no more or less ridiculous than putting a giant bow on a lexus in your driveway at christmas.

i wish i could remember the name but i demo'd a "peleton but for weights" product at my last gym, it was basically a step aerobics step with a cable coming out of the middle hooked up to an ipad - it used magnets to dynamically change the resistance on the cable. its not available commercially yet (and i dont even remember the brand name) but it wont be competing with barbells and a home lifting platform when it does come out, and i know plenty of people who are short on time but not money who would buy one.
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 7:40 AM on January 29 [3 favorites]


As a fat person who finds gyms very uncomfortable, I could imagine buying either a Pelaton or a Tonal, except my guess is that the programming isn't well equipped to deal with people who aren't already fit.

Still, the marketing is kind of ridiculous, and this Twitter thread is very funny.
posted by jacquilynne at 7:43 AM on January 29 [1 favorite]


a fixie hanging on a wall

Fixies! That's a trucker-hat-and-PBR-and-Parliments era signifier.


This is true, but that bike isn't a fixie.
posted by Going To Maine at 7:49 AM on January 29 [5 favorites]


Is this where I get to finally ask if there are any stationary bikes that can be used in the way I actually ride a bike? I came up in the BMX and mountain bike eras. My riding is all just momentum and energy-efficient side-to-side weight shifting, so I find stationary bikes really frustrating in their lack of rockability. As far as I’m concerned, if my muscles are actually being engaged, the product is faulty. I understand this is missing the entire point of exercise, but still.

Also, if you want one of these Pelotons, or any other home gym equipment, there is literally no reason not to buy used. You can occasionally even find this kind of shit for free!!! from recent divorcees or anyone who recently bought a proper clothes hanger.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:50 AM on January 29 [5 favorites]


Sys Rq - you're propbably looking at a smart trainer with your "real" bike and a rocker plate.
posted by jontyjago at 7:56 AM on January 29 [1 favorite]


Also, if you want one of these Pelotons, or any other home gym equipment, there is literally no reason not to buy used.

Well, they make the warranties non-transferable, so theres one not-very-good reason.
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 7:56 AM on January 29


This is true, but that bike isn't a fixie.

He said it was!
posted by thelonius at 7:57 AM on January 29 [1 favorite]


Honestly, I thought what was funny about the ads was not the generalized "ha ha rich people and their fancy stuff" but a very specific "ha ha rich people who have literally designed their very rooms around their exerbike."

Advertising is aspirational. I think the joke comes at taking the picture literally like, "I have this enormously expensive penthouse and I have reserved this best place in the the best room with the best view in the apartment, for my Peloton." The joke would be funny with any appliance, really.
posted by thivaia at 8:05 AM on January 29 [18 favorites]


This costs less than 2 years’ gym membership for us and I’m at a point in my life where I really have limited time to schlep to the gym, take a second shower after working out, etc. I can devote 30 minutes start to finish for exercise maybe 4 times a week. So right now I’m running, which is painful on my 48 year old knees. My wife and I dropped our gym membership this year because money and inadequate use and have been seriously considering a Peloton. We have stopped short because A. we don’t actually have the disposable income at the moment but also B. We seriously considered what giant douches our friends and neighbors would think we are. I guess that’s a consideration if you are going to market things aspiration-ally then you’re not going to sell to people who aren’t aspirational.

But what I really need is an indoor lap pool with views of the city.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:10 AM on January 29 [12 favorites]


I think the joke comes at taking the picture literally like, "I have this enormously expensive penthouse and I have reserved this best place in the the best room with the best view in the apartment, for my Peloton." The joke would be funny with any appliance, really.

You see it a lot with ads for free-standing bathtubs in interior design magazines. ‘Cause, hey, why not put your tub directly in front of a floor-to-ceiling picture window?
posted by Sys Rq at 8:12 AM on January 29 [10 favorites]


We got an exercise bike* for Christmas from my mother-in-law. As the one responsible for okaying the bike and placing the order for her, I was inundated with those "his and hers" Peloton Christmas ads (complete with competing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" covers, because what man can work out to a woman singing). I was FINALLY free, but this ad made me looking something up about them and bam, I'm back in their awful embrace.

*It was less than half the cost of a Peloton and works great for us, but we're also very much not Spin Class People. I can see where someone would get enough enjoyment out of it to justify the cost to them.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 8:18 AM on January 29 [2 favorites]


The joke would be funny with any appliance, really.

And now that I think about it? The floor is yours, vibrator manufacturers.
posted by thivaia at 8:22 AM on January 29 [11 favorites]


The first inkling I got that these were going to cost $fetchthesmellingsalts was one of the gajillion podcast ads for them giving a code for a $100 discount... off of accessories. I mean any product where they'll just casually throw you a $100 discount off RRP for the thing it self must cost a fair whack, but just thee accessories costing enough for a casual hundred bucks off, yikes
posted by ominous_paws at 8:22 AM on January 29 [2 favorites]


Oh coincidentally - the live ride that's going on as of right now has a guest instructor - Christian Vande Velde. They do a few of those pro cyclist rides every couple months or so; nothing as depressing as finishing a class exhausted and covered in sweat and hearing 'yes, a few more hours of that was our normal warmup ride'.
posted by true at 8:22 AM on January 29 [3 favorites]


And then there's the one with the fixed-gear bike on the wall, as if doing double duty as a piece of modern art

If you mean this one, that's not a marketing image, it's a real person.

(the non-fixie bike in the picture has an odd mismatch of components that suggests it's actually been ridden and upgraded over time by someone who cares, rather than bought and thrown on the wall)
posted by grahamparks at 8:27 AM on January 29 [4 favorites]


a code for a $100 discount... off of accessories.

It could be that there's a ton of expensive accessories. Or it might be "here's some free swag that'll get the Peloton name out of your house." Unless people TRULY love it, they won't chat about their stationary bike that much, but if you see your friend wearing Peloton leggings or using a Peloton tote bag, you might ask them about it.

Word of mouth is big with these sorta things. People trust their friends' anecdotes more than reviews.
posted by explosion at 8:36 AM on January 29


Well, a water bottle on the UK site is GBP £25, and an "easy to clean mat" to go underneath you is £50... so, it may depend on how much you enjoy mats
posted by ominous_paws at 8:39 AM on January 29 [1 favorite]


Goddammit guys that was hilarious and now I kind of want one.
posted by condour75 at 9:42 AM on January 29 [3 favorites]


You certainly don't need to buy a Peloton to get a stationary bike, so I find the arguments in favor that involve not leaving the house to be a bit off the mark. Look, if I could afford it, I'd have a whole home gym. I wouldn't have a Peloton.

But, you know, anything that makes it easier to work out. The silliness here is the total thirst to imply that the clients are extremely affluent, to the point of the most ridiculous placement of the bike because any realistic one wouldn't properly show off their imaginary wealth. A Peloton costs $2K with a monthly subscription of about $40. That's a meaningful expense for most of us, but you hardly need to be as wealthy as is implied in these images to afford it.

(Also, I have zero sympathy for the argument that rich people live in isolated suburbs where the bicycle access is bad. That's the problem, and it's the problem for most suburbs, rich or poor. The rich shouldn't be permitted to opt of the problem which they have helped to create.)
posted by praemunire at 10:50 AM on January 29 [3 favorites]


you hardly need to be as wealthy as is implied in these images to afford it.

I think that's how aspirational advertising works. If you want people in a $750,000 house to buy your spin class replacement, you show it in the the living room of a $3 million house.

And yeah, the people I know who have a Peloton live in the suburbs in a $750,000 house. They're a dual-BigLaw, dual-young-child-under-the-age-of-five couple, with a nanny, his-and-her Lexuses, and a Peloton.

(And even though I'm in the city, I regularly fantasize about having a Peloton. My favorite spin teacher opened a studio in a part of town that takes 45 minutes to get to by public transit, I don't like many of the ones I've been to beside her, and my local spin studio closed down entirely because we're in the u-shaped part of spin studio distribution where the urban pioneers are priced out but the fancy SoulCycle competitors aren't there yet.

Yes, please play a tiny violin for me. But it's the only intense cardio I actually enjoy, and the only way I can do a class now is to take two hours in the middle of my work day, or to skip out on scant-as-it-is evening or weekend time with my kid or spouse. I could easily shave at least an hour off that if I could just go down to the basement.)
posted by joyceanmachine at 12:16 PM on January 29 [4 favorites]


Getting flashbacks one of my favorite pithy blogs that sniped classism back in the day, Unhappy Hipsters. Going back to it today, it appears to be an actual decorating and DIY website even if their about harkens back to their past of mocking photos from Dwell.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 12:37 PM on January 29 [1 favorite]


I'm in such bad shape (recent illness) that I'm getting major improvements from an old manual Nordric Track Ski machine that works the upper body and the legs. It's weird in that you have to keep your body in a narrow range to get the benefit but once you catch on it's doable. And cheap. And *right-there*.
posted by aleph at 12:38 PM on January 29


You see it a lot with ads for free-standing bathtubs in interior design magazines. ‘Cause, hey, why not put your tub directly in front of a floor-to-ceiling picture window?

Soaking tub in front of giant window facing placid landscape is not only an extremely soothing arrangement, but attainable for regular folks during either new construction or renovation. It’s all about sight lines. This is why you hire an architect.
posted by a halcyon day at 1:00 PM on January 29 [3 favorites]


a fixie hanging on a wall
[...]that bike isn't a fixie.
Correct. You can see both derailleurs in the picture; it's an actual Specialized road bike -- from the eccentric kinks in the seat stay and fork, I think it's either the Roubaix or its WSD sibling the Ruby.

Interestingly it's got somewhat unusual pedals on it (Speedplay) that are by no means "default" in any circle, nor would they be the go-to for a set-dresser, which makes me think it's somebody's actual bike.

Anyway: I'm a pretty dedicated cyclist, and like most all of my similarly-serious pals I have a modern smart trainers at home. (It's almost never rollers these days.) The go-to model these days is the Wahoo Kickr Snap, but there are others. You attach your bike to them, and they provide resistance and feedback and various other metrics -- they're an evolution of prior era resistance trainers.

Nowadays, you probably connect it (on a computer or iPad) with Zwift, which gives you a fairly immersive virtual cycling experience -- varying resistance, other real riders, scheduled events. This is a VAST improvement over workouts done staring at a wall, which was the prior standard answer to "how do you get faster?"

Anyway, most all the fast folks I know have some version of this setup -- except my neighbor. He's a very dedicated rider, but he has no trainer. Instead, he uses a Peloton. Make of that what you will.
an "easy to clean mat" to go underneath you is £50
This is a good investment, though, because the amount of sweat that you generate in a meaningful stationary workout can be ridiculous. I use a couple old yoga mats under my trainer; it's either that or mop after.
posted by uberchet at 1:33 PM on January 29 [3 favorites]


I wonder if the Peloton setup could simulate, say, this morning's commute to work, which featured a slow, careful traverse of streets that were unplowed after yesterday's snowstorm, and was interrupted by a driver rolling coal at me. In front of an elementary school.

Probably it's all a bunch of car-free fantasy destinations where you don't get to bring home groceries or library books at the end of the ride.

(OK I am just sulking about my real life not being a car-free fantasyland.)
posted by asperity at 3:47 PM on January 29


‘Cause, hey, why not put your tub directly in front of a floor-to-ceiling picture window?

That's one where I am definitely the target audience for those ads if not the economic class necessary, because if I lived in the middle of nowhere as all the people in those ads seem to, I would totally put an enormous soaking tub in front of the biggest window I could find and spend all my weekend afternoons soaking in the sunshine, literally, like some kind of seaweed.

Is that ever going to happen? Okay, no. But it makes the product seem appealing. Exercise bike dumped without ceremony in the midcentury modern living room just makes me imagine feeling guilty every time I sit on the sofa. "Buy a $2500 exercise bike to make you feel worse about your $5000 sofa" seems like not the best deal.
posted by Sequence at 5:12 PM on January 29 [4 favorites]


Soaking tub in front of giant window facing placid landscape is not only an extremely soothing arrangement, but attainable for regular folks during either new construction or renovation. It’s all about sight lines. This is why you hire an architect.

You have a funny definition of "regular folks" there, buddy.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 5:55 PM on January 29 [16 favorites]


I could definitely see myself buying a Tonal one day. I really like the footprint, and I’d like the idea of having training programs or coaching without having to hire a trainer. The main hang-up of having my own exercise bike or equipment is that I’d have a bulky piece of equipment taking up space in a room (let’s face it, the rooms in the ads make the Peloton look nice, not the other way around). But having something that tucks neatly onto the wall like a vertically-aligned flat-screen TV, sure.
posted by Autumnheart at 6:32 PM on January 29


I wonder if the Peloton setup could simulate, say, this morning's commute to work, which featured a slow, careful traverse of streets that were unplowed after yesterday's snowstorm, and was interrupted by a driver rolling coal at me. In front of an elementary school.

A Zwift-meets-GTA knock-off might actually be a profitable idea. Sadly for me, I don't think it's doable in Hypercard.
posted by snuffleupagus at 7:06 PM on January 29 [2 favorites]


I remain convinced that most exercise gear is aspirational.

But yeah, the joke is about framing (nyuk nyuk), not about the expensive-ass spin class simulacrum.
posted by aspersioncast at 7:07 PM on January 29


The floor is yours, vibrator manufacturers.

Nobody uses furniture any more?
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:42 PM on January 29 [4 favorites]


This thread has taught me quite a bit about new exercise methods about which I know quite little!
posted by Going To Maine at 9:21 PM on January 29 [1 favorite]


Consuela ...?

Not. Amusing.
posted by Faintdreams at 8:14 AM on January 30


This was amusing.
posted by OmieWise at 7:08 AM on February 1


« Older Cornish stared down the track, too. “Well,” he...   |   Now It's On Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments