“Brooks, is this book about humping?”
April 29, 2019 6:26 PM Subscribe
David Brooks’s Conversion Story: In recent years, the conservative columnist has divorced, remarried, broken with Republicans over Trump, and explored Christianity. How deep was his transformation? (SLNewYorker By Benjamin Wallace-Wells)
Chapo on David Brooks in which the obvious comparison to Stephen Segal is drawn.
posted by Space Coyote at 6:57 PM on April 29, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by Space Coyote at 6:57 PM on April 29, 2019 [2 favorites]
David Brooks is literally the only man in the world who could cheat on his wife with his assistant and turn it into an excuse to lecture us all about morality.
I've always kind of hated the brooksian ability to gaze out at the world through his own navel.
If there is one thing the infidelity of my wife has taught me - people who cheat on their spouses are among the fucking worst humanity has to offer.
What shambling, weak people they are. I didnt know he had done that, and now, remarkably, I somehow think even less of him.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 7:05 PM on April 29, 2019 [10 favorites]
I've always kind of hated the brooksian ability to gaze out at the world through his own navel.
If there is one thing the infidelity of my wife has taught me - people who cheat on their spouses are among the fucking worst humanity has to offer.
What shambling, weak people they are. I didnt know he had done that, and now, remarkably, I somehow think even less of him.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 7:05 PM on April 29, 2019 [10 favorites]
Never forget that David Brooks taught a course on humility at Yale and put himself on the syllabus.
posted by aaronetc at 7:25 PM on April 29, 2019 [95 favorites]
posted by aaronetc at 7:25 PM on April 29, 2019 [95 favorites]
Brooks is, I would argue, moving from conservative to moderate. He has recent op eds that say that we suck at dealing with poverty but Canada is doing it right, for example. He talks about reparations and poo poos Fox new's usual criticisms of the idea. (I know this because I went and skimmed his op eds, not because I'm a fan or anything). He says in one rich people aren't worth more then less wealthy people.
Where he still falls down, in my view, is his lack of interrogation of the underlying structures and institutions of society that lead to the issues. Any discussion of solutions not predicated on an understanding of how the problems came to be, who benefits from them, etc is lacking, as far as I am concerned. He's not wrong. But he's not right.
Maybe he's doing the work and isn't there yet. But I think he's pretty comfortable in his armchair, telling people what they can do better. Maybe his audience will listen. Charitably, maybe he just knows his audience and that's why he comes across as he does. But I'm not buying his book.
posted by gryftir at 7:30 PM on April 29, 2019 [7 favorites]
Where he still falls down, in my view, is his lack of interrogation of the underlying structures and institutions of society that lead to the issues. Any discussion of solutions not predicated on an understanding of how the problems came to be, who benefits from them, etc is lacking, as far as I am concerned. He's not wrong. But he's not right.
Maybe he's doing the work and isn't there yet. But I think he's pretty comfortable in his armchair, telling people what they can do better. Maybe his audience will listen. Charitably, maybe he just knows his audience and that's why he comes across as he does. But I'm not buying his book.
posted by gryftir at 7:30 PM on April 29, 2019 [7 favorites]
The bait is that the book is about us; the switch is that it is about him.
Same as it ever was...
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:32 PM on April 29, 2019 [3 favorites]
Same as it ever was...
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:32 PM on April 29, 2019 [3 favorites]
The resiliency of his self-delusion is incredible, given that he writes about himself for a living in a very public way. I wonder what mountain his wife of 29 years is on now that he’s tossed her aside.
posted by sallybrown at 7:34 PM on April 29, 2019 [6 favorites]
posted by sallybrown at 7:34 PM on April 29, 2019 [6 favorites]
Where he still falls down, in my view, is his lack of interrogation of the underlying structures and institutions of society that lead to the issues
Because, for Brooks, social issues inevitably boil down to politics of personal responsibility (from which he noticeably excepts himself). He has long made the appropriate mouth noises and wistful scribblings about how other countries do X or Y better. That's why he's been the media's favorite Reasonable ConversativeTM for decades.
After blathering his politically expedient and social appropriate nothings, however, his pattern is then to turn wistful about how America could actually do both X and Y better, if only we fostered more responsible and morally upright people. The kind of people like Grill Man who has self-segregated into an exurb, but still displays Real American Values via emotionally distant homosocial relations and a hyperfocus on consumer products that would not be out of place at a Sears (which, sigh, is just another casualty of the lack of personal moral fortitude in today's culture).
So no, Brooks is not becoming more progressive. He's the same Manhattan Conservative he's always been, happy to munch caviar and swig champagne with billionaires before returning to his multi-million dollar home to write a NYT column about what a crazy experience that was for him, an everyday ordinary American Joe. Trump's ascendance has only made him appear more liberal because now he gets to look down his nose at Republicans too, though less for being effete, trend-hopping globalists than simply for offending his WASPy sense of propriety and his facade of faux-folksiness.
In short, fuck David Brooks.
posted by Panjandrum at 8:05 PM on April 29, 2019 [47 favorites]
Because, for Brooks, social issues inevitably boil down to politics of personal responsibility (from which he noticeably excepts himself). He has long made the appropriate mouth noises and wistful scribblings about how other countries do X or Y better. That's why he's been the media's favorite Reasonable ConversativeTM for decades.
After blathering his politically expedient and social appropriate nothings, however, his pattern is then to turn wistful about how America could actually do both X and Y better, if only we fostered more responsible and morally upright people. The kind of people like Grill Man who has self-segregated into an exurb, but still displays Real American Values via emotionally distant homosocial relations and a hyperfocus on consumer products that would not be out of place at a Sears (which, sigh, is just another casualty of the lack of personal moral fortitude in today's culture).
So no, Brooks is not becoming more progressive. He's the same Manhattan Conservative he's always been, happy to munch caviar and swig champagne with billionaires before returning to his multi-million dollar home to write a NYT column about what a crazy experience that was for him, an everyday ordinary American Joe. Trump's ascendance has only made him appear more liberal because now he gets to look down his nose at Republicans too, though less for being effete, trend-hopping globalists than simply for offending his WASPy sense of propriety and his facade of faux-folksiness.
In short, fuck David Brooks.
posted by Panjandrum at 8:05 PM on April 29, 2019 [47 favorites]
"This is ultimately a book about renewal," Brooks writes
I can only read this as, "I kind of know that I'm a privileged old, white guy, but hang on - let me have another try, this time I've really got it!"
Dude, you totally don't have it.
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 8:07 PM on April 29, 2019 [6 favorites]
I can only read this as, "I kind of know that I'm a privileged old, white guy, but hang on - let me have another try, this time I've really got it!"
Dude, you totally don't have it.
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 8:07 PM on April 29, 2019 [6 favorites]
Not quite the Isaac Chotiner interview I want, but not a terrible takedown either.
That experience matters is a universal vanity—that we get better at living as we go, that the second mountain (the second marriage) is richer and more rewarding than the first.
Very nice.
posted by Going To Maine at 8:10 PM on April 29, 2019 [2 favorites]
That experience matters is a universal vanity—that we get better at living as we go, that the second mountain (the second marriage) is richer and more rewarding than the first.
Very nice.
posted by Going To Maine at 8:10 PM on April 29, 2019 [2 favorites]
Nothing so specific, it turns out. Brooks has chosen a dauntingly broad topic—more or less, what it might mean to live a conscious and virtuous life. As a committed generalist, his sources of authority are wide-ranging
After seeing how much money a jackoff like Jordan Peterson could rake in, Brooks had an idea. And it was this.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:16 PM on April 29, 2019 [9 favorites]
After seeing how much money a jackoff like Jordan Peterson could rake in, Brooks had an idea. And it was this.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:16 PM on April 29, 2019 [9 favorites]
This makes me nostalgic for the heyday of Thomas Friedman takedown pieces back in the mid-2000s.
posted by MillMan at 8:22 PM on April 29, 2019 [14 favorites]
posted by MillMan at 8:22 PM on April 29, 2019 [14 favorites]
I swear to God this fucking guy. Right now, one person gets to kick me full on in the nuts. I just stand there and take it. If that happens and David Brooks never writes another goddamn word and I'll spend the rest of my days squeaking "you're welcome."
At least Friedman pretended to give half a shit.
posted by East14thTaco at 8:51 PM on April 29, 2019 [13 favorites]
At least Friedman pretended to give half a shit.
posted by East14thTaco at 8:51 PM on April 29, 2019 [13 favorites]
You know what? Make Brooks host the correspondents' dinner next year. If we're gonna do milquetoast then let's fucking do milquetoast.
posted by East14thTaco at 9:16 PM on April 29, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by East14thTaco at 9:16 PM on April 29, 2019 [4 favorites]
So, I'd never be able to find it exactly, and I don't remember what the circumstances were around it, but E.J. Dionne and David Brooks used to be absolutely NASTY toward each other during their Friday news roundup on All Things Considered. Like, if they were gay they'd have been being witty and catty like what passes for humor on Will & Grace, but instead they were just being mean.
And then, there was this one episode, I think inspired by some kind of Big National Event, or something, where they sort of actually on air drew a truce, and they started actually having a conversation with each other about topics instead of just grown-up-level kindergarten stuff. And suddenly, their segment got a lot better.
I think both of them had hearts that grew three sizes that day.
Brooks has always sort of infuriated me because he seems to be so smart but he always places a backstop behind his smarts which are his predetermined views, so he never expanded except in one direction. But I will say, I've found him to be more... worth listening to over the past few years, because he's seemed to be willing to expand in different ways.
And hey, if he's finding New Testament values, that's a road that, if you don't get all evangelical about it, can lead to things like radical community living and Liberation Theology, which are all pretty far away from where Brooks was 20 years ago.
I'm kind of glad he's on this journey. I remember that day on NPR so vividly even if I don't have the date associated with it at all. And I remember how they were for a long while after that, and how E.J. seemed to merely be nicer but how David seemed to be striving to reach beyond himself. I wonder where in the timeline this falls, but really don't care.
I knew nothing about David Brooks' personal life before reading this article. That feels a bit odd, really, to suddenly know all this, after all these decades. It never occurred to me to ask or care.
posted by hippybear at 9:21 PM on April 29, 2019 [11 favorites]
And then, there was this one episode, I think inspired by some kind of Big National Event, or something, where they sort of actually on air drew a truce, and they started actually having a conversation with each other about topics instead of just grown-up-level kindergarten stuff. And suddenly, their segment got a lot better.
I think both of them had hearts that grew three sizes that day.
Brooks has always sort of infuriated me because he seems to be so smart but he always places a backstop behind his smarts which are his predetermined views, so he never expanded except in one direction. But I will say, I've found him to be more... worth listening to over the past few years, because he's seemed to be willing to expand in different ways.
And hey, if he's finding New Testament values, that's a road that, if you don't get all evangelical about it, can lead to things like radical community living and Liberation Theology, which are all pretty far away from where Brooks was 20 years ago.
I'm kind of glad he's on this journey. I remember that day on NPR so vividly even if I don't have the date associated with it at all. And I remember how they were for a long while after that, and how E.J. seemed to merely be nicer but how David seemed to be striving to reach beyond himself. I wonder where in the timeline this falls, but really don't care.
I knew nothing about David Brooks' personal life before reading this article. That feels a bit odd, really, to suddenly know all this, after all these decades. It never occurred to me to ask or care.
posted by hippybear at 9:21 PM on April 29, 2019 [11 favorites]
Brooks hasn't broken with shit. He just wants a different Conservative America to be made great again. Plus he was still coming up in the Clinton Years, so he didn't really get to milk that tailor-made train (h/t Zapp Brannigan).
Since there is no mention yet, here or in the article, of the all-time classic "I Don't Think David Brooks is Okay, You Guys," there it is.
posted by rhizome at 10:04 PM on April 29, 2019 [19 favorites]
Since there is no mention yet, here or in the article, of the all-time classic "I Don't Think David Brooks is Okay, You Guys," there it is.
posted by rhizome at 10:04 PM on April 29, 2019 [19 favorites]
He's not wrong. But he's not right.
He is often wrong.
Even on issues when Trump is saying or doing something so egregious that even Brooks realizes he must gainsay it, he never fails to pull up short of a full-throated condemnation, instead downplaying it’s significance, or deftly deflecting criticism of conservatism in the last sentence of his comment by subtly moving the goalposts, or basically saying “but look over there.”
He never seems to be able to make the hard connection between the things he finds himself forced to confront. He’s basically a performance artist who convinced himself of his own earnestness. The act got old a long time ago, and it’s disappointing he has been given so prominent a stage for so many years.
posted by darkstar at 10:58 PM on April 29, 2019 [10 favorites]
He is often wrong.
Even on issues when Trump is saying or doing something so egregious that even Brooks realizes he must gainsay it, he never fails to pull up short of a full-throated condemnation, instead downplaying it’s significance, or deftly deflecting criticism of conservatism in the last sentence of his comment by subtly moving the goalposts, or basically saying “but look over there.”
He never seems to be able to make the hard connection between the things he finds himself forced to confront. He’s basically a performance artist who convinced himself of his own earnestness. The act got old a long time ago, and it’s disappointing he has been given so prominent a stage for so many years.
posted by darkstar at 10:58 PM on April 29, 2019 [10 favorites]
For more gleeful Brooks takedowns, I highly recommend The Professional Left Podcast with Driftglass and Blue Gal. They are a married couple and old school, Dubya/Iraq War-era bloggers. Driftglass' life goal seems to be the utter destruction of David Brooks (as well as other "centrists.")
posted by zardoz at 10:59 PM on April 29, 2019 [6 favorites]
posted by zardoz at 10:59 PM on April 29, 2019 [6 favorites]
Brooks wrote an op-ed the day after William Barr made his famous (and naturally, super honest) claim that the Mueller report said the President did nothing wrong.
Brooks wrote:
No one but Barr had actually seen the actual report at that point.
I don't know what kind of brain or conscience it takes to lecture the world on their moral impropriety based on a single assessment by a political operator of a document no one has seen, but it really doesn't seem like a brain or conscience that merit a national voice.
posted by trig at 11:25 PM on April 29, 2019 [44 favorites]
Brooks wrote:
Democrats might approach this moment with an attitude of humility and honest self-examination. It’s clear that many Democrats made grievous accusations against the president that are not supported by the evidence. It’s clear that people like Beto O’Rourke and John Brennan owe Donald Trump a public apology. If you call someone a traitor and it turns out you lacked the evidence for that charge, then the only decent thing to do is apologize.He lamented with his humble and very wistful even keel about how "The nation’s underlying divides are still ideological, but we rarely fight them honestly as philosophical differences. We just accuse the other side of corruption. Politics is no longer a debate; it’s an attempt to destroy lives through accusation."
No one but Barr had actually seen the actual report at that point.
I don't know what kind of brain or conscience it takes to lecture the world on their moral impropriety based on a single assessment by a political operator of a document no one has seen, but it really doesn't seem like a brain or conscience that merit a national voice.
posted by trig at 11:25 PM on April 29, 2019 [44 favorites]
I don't know what kind of brain or conscience it takes to lecture the world on their moral impropriety based on a single assessment by a political operator of a document no one has seen, but it really doesn't seem like a brain or conscience that merit a national voice.
There were probably about 5 billion people on Fox News across the same week saying the same things. It's not like his views aren't also conservative talking points echoed everywhere. They were all saying the same thing. They just weren't doing it in prose and in print.
posted by hippybear at 11:32 PM on April 29, 2019 [2 favorites]
There were probably about 5 billion people on Fox News across the same week saying the same things. It's not like his views aren't also conservative talking points echoed everywhere. They were all saying the same thing. They just weren't doing it in prose and in print.
posted by hippybear at 11:32 PM on April 29, 2019 [2 favorites]
As no one has yet mentioned the 2001 Philly Mag piece by Sasha Issenberg that ran through some of the big issues in the book that surely made Brooks’s career, I’ll gladly put it here: “Boo-Boos in Paradise”
After seeing how much money a jackoff like Jordan Peterson could rake in, Brooks had an idea. And it was this.
Eh, David Brooks has been teaching on character at Yale for some time now - this isn’t some odd turn off for him to try and make a buck, any more than him pursing where his interests have gone. Of course, being of a philosophical mind and concerned about the youths, he’s aware of Jordan Peterson and has some nice things to say…
posted by Going To Maine at 11:43 PM on April 29, 2019 [4 favorites]
After seeing how much money a jackoff like Jordan Peterson could rake in, Brooks had an idea. And it was this.
Eh, David Brooks has been teaching on character at Yale for some time now - this isn’t some odd turn off for him to try and make a buck, any more than him pursing where his interests have gone. Of course, being of a philosophical mind and concerned about the youths, he’s aware of Jordan Peterson and has some nice things to say…
posted by Going To Maine at 11:43 PM on April 29, 2019 [4 favorites]
Since telling others to apologize as the only decent thing to do falls under Mr. Brooks' purview, surely his apology to the rest of us for, at least, his entire first mountain will be made manifest any time now. This guy. If I weren't so flawed and full of shit myself I'd totally hate this guy. As it is, y'all have my most sincere first mountain apology.
posted by riverlife at 1:08 AM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by riverlife at 1:08 AM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
Brooks is one of the shitstains who use the sacred ideal of "civility and compromise" to offer far right viewpoints in a manner that makes armchair intellectuals nod their heads and go "hmm yes the only real compromise is to gut social security"
posted by Ferreous at 4:17 AM on April 30, 2019 [9 favorites]
posted by Ferreous at 4:17 AM on April 30, 2019 [9 favorites]
Brooks has chosen a dauntingly broad topic—more or less, what it might mean to live a conscious and virtuous life.
Always good to have an outsider's perspective, I suppose.
posted by Navelgazer at 4:51 AM on April 30, 2019 [25 favorites]
Always good to have an outsider's perspective, I suppose.
posted by Navelgazer at 4:51 AM on April 30, 2019 [25 favorites]
Everything wrong with Brooks is everything fundamentally wrong with 'Conservatism' - it's based on a lie that everyone does better when people like 'us' do better. And you, more than likely, are not one of 'us.' It's stupid and shallow and for all their intelligence in other ways, always catches me out.
posted by From Bklyn at 5:02 AM on April 30, 2019 [7 favorites]
posted by From Bklyn at 5:02 AM on April 30, 2019 [7 favorites]
entire first mountain...first mountain apology
what?
posted by thelonius at 5:25 AM on April 30, 2019
what?
posted by thelonius at 5:25 AM on April 30, 2019
>entire first mountain...first mountain apology
what?
From the article.
posted by lazuli at 5:33 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
what?
From the article.
posted by lazuli at 5:33 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
See, Brooks feels that there are two mountains, and everyone is one one of them. The first mountain is for small, petty, selfish people. That's you and me. The second mountain is for people who have been purified by suffering and have been elevated to a higher plane. They are deeper, less selfish and self-indulgent, more giving and spiritually aware. That's him. He's on the second mountain because of his period of suffering, which involved him dumping his wife of 27 years for his now-32-year-old assistant. That was really hard for him. Luckily, his hot new wife is an Evangelical Christian, fresh out of Wheaton College, so she has given him a whole new language with which to tell you about the new spiritual superiority that he achieved during the time of trial when he was forced to dump his wife.
(I think his time of trial also has to do with Trump being elected, because he spent years lecturing liberals about how conservatives were more moral than them, only to be faced with evidence that there is literally nothing so despicable that the Republican Party won't embrace it. That was awkward for him, and it felt bad. Luckily, that suffering was all part of the purification process that brought him to the second mountain, from whose peaks he can lecture the rest of us about our lowly, first-mountain morality. He has even more authority now. Being wrong just made him more right!)
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:05 AM on April 30, 2019 [54 favorites]
(I think his time of trial also has to do with Trump being elected, because he spent years lecturing liberals about how conservatives were more moral than them, only to be faced with evidence that there is literally nothing so despicable that the Republican Party won't embrace it. That was awkward for him, and it felt bad. Luckily, that suffering was all part of the purification process that brought him to the second mountain, from whose peaks he can lecture the rest of us about our lowly, first-mountain morality. He has even more authority now. Being wrong just made him more right!)
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:05 AM on April 30, 2019 [54 favorites]
David Brooks is literally the only man in the world who could cheat on his wife with his assistant and turn it into an excuse to lecture us all about morality.
I give you Newt Gingrich, who divorced his first wife while she was hospitalized for uterine cancer to marry the lover he'd later divorce shortly after her MS diagnosis for yet another woman he'd been having an affair with.
Brooks has a house not far from a friend on Capitol Hill, and I'll sometimes see him in his yard or at a coffee shop nearby - he's a fatuous parody of privileged, middle aged white manhood, but by no means exceptional in the sink of nihilistic, drunken Viagra sex and taypayer-funded steak dinners he wallowing in.
posted by ryanshepard at 6:17 AM on April 30, 2019 [21 favorites]
I give you Newt Gingrich, who divorced his first wife while she was hospitalized for uterine cancer to marry the lover he'd later divorce shortly after her MS diagnosis for yet another woman he'd been having an affair with.
Brooks has a house not far from a friend on Capitol Hill, and I'll sometimes see him in his yard or at a coffee shop nearby - he's a fatuous parody of privileged, middle aged white manhood, but by no means exceptional in the sink of nihilistic, drunken Viagra sex and taypayer-funded steak dinners he wallowing in.
posted by ryanshepard at 6:17 AM on April 30, 2019 [21 favorites]
I mean, Newt Gingrich is a sleazeball, but he didn't make a career out of writing about virtue. What's galling about Brooks isn't his behavior. It's his sanctimony. I typically don't give a shit who public figures are consensually sleeping with, but don't act like a sleaze and then use it as a warrant to tell me how much better than me you are.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:22 AM on April 30, 2019 [6 favorites]
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:22 AM on April 30, 2019 [6 favorites]
but don't act like a sleaze and then use it as a warrant to tell me how much better than me you are.
This is the tacit platform of all post-Goldwater conservatism.
posted by ryanshepard at 6:26 AM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
This is the tacit platform of all post-Goldwater conservatism.
posted by ryanshepard at 6:26 AM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
Lest we forget, Gingrich has his disingenuous uber-moralist persona, too. He’s written books on lofty values and produced a documentary on “Rediscovering God in America”. He’s one of the most prolific book reviewers on Amazon, in which reviews he is always expounding on these themes.
He’s just more able to don and shed that sanctimony when he wants to, in favor of the many others he likes to wear, as it suits him. A true reptilian.
I can’t find the quote now, but I recall reading that someone (a former wife?) once asked Newt how he could so hypocritically write so much about honor and integrity, given what he has done. To which his response was, “Only I can say the things that need to be said.”
The description of Gingrich as “a fool’s idea of what a wise man sounds like” would very easily apply to Brooks.
posted by darkstar at 6:41 AM on April 30, 2019 [15 favorites]
He’s just more able to don and shed that sanctimony when he wants to, in favor of the many others he likes to wear, as it suits him. A true reptilian.
I can’t find the quote now, but I recall reading that someone (a former wife?) once asked Newt how he could so hypocritically write so much about honor and integrity, given what he has done. To which his response was, “Only I can say the things that need to be said.”
The description of Gingrich as “a fool’s idea of what a wise man sounds like” would very easily apply to Brooks.
posted by darkstar at 6:41 AM on April 30, 2019 [15 favorites]
The NYT is such a weird grift
posted by The Whelk at 6:45 AM on April 30, 2019 [8 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 6:45 AM on April 30, 2019 [8 favorites]
I went and tried to find the quote, I thought it was Hunter Thompson, but no luck. The gist of the thought was, when guys like Brooks ‘come out for Jesus’ you know they’re totally fucked.
posted by valkane at 7:12 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by valkane at 7:12 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
Maybe he's doing the work and isn't there yet. But I think he's pretty comfortable in his armchair, telling people what they can do better. Maybe his audience will listen. Charitably, maybe he just knows his audience and that's why he comes across as he does.
I'm kind of glad he's on this journey.
OK, so here's the thing about repenting of your ways: if you do it right, you show contrition and move the fuck on. You don't use it as a stepping stone to higher and more irritating forms of sanctimony.
posted by jackbishop at 7:20 AM on April 30, 2019 [12 favorites]
I'm kind of glad he's on this journey.
OK, so here's the thing about repenting of your ways: if you do it right, you show contrition and move the fuck on. You don't use it as a stepping stone to higher and more irritating forms of sanctimony.
posted by jackbishop at 7:20 AM on April 30, 2019 [12 favorites]
Before they realized it was public-facing, I saved Anne and David's wedding registry...
It's still out there; and you weren't the only one who noticed.
posted by TedW at 7:22 AM on April 30, 2019
It's still out there; and you weren't the only one who noticed.
posted by TedW at 7:22 AM on April 30, 2019
when guys like Brooks ‘come out for Jesus’ you know they’re totally fucked.
Chuck Colson is basically the archetype of this sort of convenient religiosity, isn't he? Maybe the quote you're thinking of is about him.
posted by jackbishop at 7:22 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
Chuck Colson is basically the archetype of this sort of convenient religiosity, isn't he? Maybe the quote you're thinking of is about him.
posted by jackbishop at 7:22 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
After seeing how much money a jackoff like Jordan Peterson could rake in, Brooks had an idea. And it was this.
This is hero's journey.
posted by atrazine at 7:23 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
This is hero's journey.
posted by atrazine at 7:23 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
Paying any attention at all to Brooks, or Gingrich, is almost certainly a mug's game. The zeitgeist has abandoned any pretense of morality and moved on to pure howling kayfabe. "Do as I say, not as I do" has been replaced by "do as I say, and if you don't I'll say you did."
posted by aspersioncast at 8:21 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by aspersioncast at 8:21 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
Speaking of jacking off, David Brooks is basically the human form of the jack-off hand motion
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 8:23 AM on April 30, 2019 [7 favorites]
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 8:23 AM on April 30, 2019 [7 favorites]
I saved Anne and David's wedding registry, and I was amazed by all the kitchenware they were requesting. Like tons of it, basic stuff and weird fripperies like crystal votives and stuff.
OTOH, everything on that list looks like every other upper/upper-middle class kitchen/dining room I've ever been in—and lord knows I've bought shitloads of OXO stuff off registries over the years; OTO, I've never seen a registry that so screams "I'm marrying an old dude who's wife took everything and he doesn't give a shit about any of this, so fuck it, his rich friends are buying me whatever I want!" and I am fucking here for the chutzpah. (Notable by its absence, however, is the stand mixer, so one must assume that the bride brought her own to the marriage.)
posted by octobersurprise at 8:24 AM on April 30, 2019 [11 favorites]
OTOH, everything on that list looks like every other upper/upper-middle class kitchen/dining room I've ever been in—and lord knows I've bought shitloads of OXO stuff off registries over the years; OTO, I've never seen a registry that so screams "I'm marrying an old dude who's wife took everything and he doesn't give a shit about any of this, so fuck it, his rich friends are buying me whatever I want!" and I am fucking here for the chutzpah. (Notable by its absence, however, is the stand mixer, so one must assume that the bride brought her own to the marriage.)
posted by octobersurprise at 8:24 AM on April 30, 2019 [11 favorites]
Those cookbooks are exactly the cookbooks that my mom used in like 1989. Clearly, Sarah got the cookbooks in the divorce, David thought "those are the two cookbooks that my ex-wife used, so they are probably the best cookbooks," and Anne didn't have any cookbook preferences of her own.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 8:31 AM on April 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 8:31 AM on April 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
TIL people put cookbooks on wedding registries!
posted by sallybrown at 8:52 AM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by sallybrown at 8:52 AM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
The more Brooks works to describe the joy of second-mountain people, the more frankly sexual it sounds. “It’s when the skin barrier between you and some other person or entity fades away and you feel fused together,” Brooks writes. In his introduction, Brooks quotes a Christian academic named Belden Lane, who wrote in a spiritual memoir, “Backpacking with the Saints,” “Whenever I plunge into the wilderness, my body and the environment move in and out of each other in an intimate pattern of exchange.” In the margin, I wrote, “Brooks, is this book about humping?”
It brings me great joy to know that a reviewer can read this text by someone who clearly fancies himself as having Deep Ideas About Human Nature and reduce it to sex jokes. I am sure that being read this way makes Brooks furious that other people have missed his great genius, and that just increases my joy tenfold.
posted by ActionPopulated at 9:01 AM on April 30, 2019 [13 favorites]
It brings me great joy to know that a reviewer can read this text by someone who clearly fancies himself as having Deep Ideas About Human Nature and reduce it to sex jokes. I am sure that being read this way makes Brooks furious that other people have missed his great genius, and that just increases my joy tenfold.
posted by ActionPopulated at 9:01 AM on April 30, 2019 [13 favorites]
When Brooks married his first wife, Jane, she converted to Judaism and changed her name to Sarah. Since he abandoned her for a younger Christian, is seems only fitting that he change his name from David to Chad.
posted by JackFlash at 9:07 AM on April 30, 2019 [22 favorites]
posted by JackFlash at 9:07 AM on April 30, 2019 [22 favorites]
That is funny and all but you guys looked up David Brooks's wedding registry on purpose.
posted by East14thTaco at 9:12 AM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by East14thTaco at 9:12 AM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
I just can’t wait for Mountains Three and Four.
posted by valkane at 9:15 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by valkane at 9:15 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
I mean, given long enough, Brooks will float off into the air, above his next bride, the perfect human substance.
posted by valkane at 9:27 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by valkane at 9:27 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
Is it just me, or has the New Yorker really upped their No Fucks To Give skill level over the past two years?
posted by RakDaddy at 9:32 AM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by RakDaddy at 9:32 AM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
it's kind of a bum out that his ex-wife was saddled with all the old grody kitchenware with bad David Brooks memories
My old kitchen stuff is my treasure so I wouldn’t be surprised if she wanted all of it. To the victor goes the family cast iron pan!
posted by sallybrown at 10:11 AM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
My old kitchen stuff is my treasure so I wouldn’t be surprised if she wanted all of it. To the victor goes the family cast iron pan!
posted by sallybrown at 10:11 AM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
i would look up pics of David Brooks's scrotum
Well, that escalated quickly. Does anyone know how to get vomit out of a keyboard?
posted by zeusianfog at 10:12 AM on April 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
Well, that escalated quickly. Does anyone know how to get vomit out of a keyboard?
posted by zeusianfog at 10:12 AM on April 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
BRB, ironing the old scrote.
posted by aspersioncast at 10:22 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by aspersioncast at 10:22 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
3:4 David Brooks's ex wife now owns a toaster that says "SMEG" on the front.
posted by East14thTaco at 10:24 AM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by East14thTaco at 10:24 AM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
Since there is no mention yet, here or in the article, of the all-time classic "I Don't Think David Brooks is Okay, You Guys," there it is.
posted by rhizome at 11:04 PM on April 29
This is literally the best thing I have ever read. Sample sentence:
You’d see a headline like “The Slow Virtues” or “The Hollow Century” or “Why the Teens Are Despicable,” and you’d know ol’ Dave’s coffee shop was out of plain croissants a week ago and the barista had a nose-ring and he’d decided he’d witnessed the death of the Western moral tradition.
posted by medusa at 10:42 AM on April 30, 2019 [12 favorites]
posted by rhizome at 11:04 PM on April 29
This is literally the best thing I have ever read. Sample sentence:
You’d see a headline like “The Slow Virtues” or “The Hollow Century” or “Why the Teens Are Despicable,” and you’d know ol’ Dave’s coffee shop was out of plain croissants a week ago and the barista had a nose-ring and he’d decided he’d witnessed the death of the Western moral tradition.
posted by medusa at 10:42 AM on April 30, 2019 [12 favorites]
My old kitchen stuff is my treasure so I wouldn’t be surprised if she wanted all of it. To the victor goes the family cast iron pan!
If the former Sarah Brooks got all the old, seasoned, cast iron and the heirloom dishes and the present Anne Brooks got the cool Jan Burtz dishes and the 18 piece Wüsthof knife set, then it's almost a win-win, except, of course, for the accompanying David that can't be returned to the store.
posted by octobersurprise at 11:15 AM on April 30, 2019 [9 favorites]
If the former Sarah Brooks got all the old, seasoned, cast iron and the heirloom dishes and the present Anne Brooks got the cool Jan Burtz dishes and the 18 piece Wüsthof knife set, then it's almost a win-win, except, of course, for the accompanying David that can't be returned to the store.
posted by octobersurprise at 11:15 AM on April 30, 2019 [9 favorites]
If the former Sarah Brooks got all the old, seasoned, cast iron and the heirloom dishes and the present Anne Brooks got the cool Jan Burtz dishes and the 18 piece Wüsthof knife set, then it's almost a win-win, except, of course, for the accompanying David that can't be returned to the store.
Look, I'm not proud of this, but the recycling infrastructure in the US just isn't entirely there yet in terms of hazardous waste disposal, so sometimes with things like David Brooks you just have to find a dumpster in an alley and put your trash in there when no one's looking.
posted by invitapriore at 11:35 AM on April 30, 2019 [9 favorites]
Look, I'm not proud of this, but the recycling infrastructure in the US just isn't entirely there yet in terms of hazardous waste disposal, so sometimes with things like David Brooks you just have to find a dumpster in an alley and put your trash in there when no one's looking.
posted by invitapriore at 11:35 AM on April 30, 2019 [9 favorites]
I read that article and this thread and think, "Holy shit, could that be me?" Of course, I think this almost every time I read about anyone who thinks they are self-aware of their faults, but really aren't. It's always at least a little bit true; sometimes much more than a little. In this case, it's hard to imagine I could be as obtuse as Brooks seems to be, though probably not for a lack of trying.
I'm both loving the snark and feel weird about it.
The discomfort with the snark is because I can't help but feel a commitment to the welfare of others is an improvement for him -- though somewhat misguided and ironically very self-obsessed -- and is certainly preferable to the hatefest of today's conservatives. Also, I'm not comfortable snarking about his wife, who may be a much better person than her husband (or not, but we don't really know). And although the wife-dumping thing is a truism about men like Brooks, it kind of elides his ex's agency in the divorce. Hopefully, probably, she was relieved to see him out the door.
There's some degree to which we can reasonably accept Brooks's self-characterization of being representative...and then savage him for his vices.
But he's so very not representative, really. This is someone in that rarefied world of the career pundit cum "public intellectual". (He's not truly the latter, but he thinks of himself as such.) This is someone born with privilege who subsequently had his overweening self-importance validated by being well-paid to be self-imprtant. The only way someone like him could truly climb that second mountain would be in silence and with great humility.
He's not doing that and, to be generous, it's a lot to expect from someone who's lived his life. I kind of think it might be best to mildly smile at his attempt to make it about other people while we avert our eyes from the public embarrassment of his failed attempt.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 12:06 PM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
I'm both loving the snark and feel weird about it.
The discomfort with the snark is because I can't help but feel a commitment to the welfare of others is an improvement for him -- though somewhat misguided and ironically very self-obsessed -- and is certainly preferable to the hatefest of today's conservatives. Also, I'm not comfortable snarking about his wife, who may be a much better person than her husband (or not, but we don't really know). And although the wife-dumping thing is a truism about men like Brooks, it kind of elides his ex's agency in the divorce. Hopefully, probably, she was relieved to see him out the door.
There's some degree to which we can reasonably accept Brooks's self-characterization of being representative...and then savage him for his vices.
But he's so very not representative, really. This is someone in that rarefied world of the career pundit cum "public intellectual". (He's not truly the latter, but he thinks of himself as such.) This is someone born with privilege who subsequently had his overweening self-importance validated by being well-paid to be self-imprtant. The only way someone like him could truly climb that second mountain would be in silence and with great humility.
He's not doing that and, to be generous, it's a lot to expect from someone who's lived his life. I kind of think it might be best to mildly smile at his attempt to make it about other people while we avert our eyes from the public embarrassment of his failed attempt.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 12:06 PM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
I feel like David Brooks deserves to be held to a higher standard than the rest of us, by virtue of the fact that he has a really big platform, and he's paid a huge amount of money to pontificate from it. I'm sure I'm annoying and self-indulgent in many ways, but the New York Times isn't paying me the big bucks to be annoying and self-indulgent on its editorial page twice a week, so I'm comfortable saying that David Brooks is doing something different than me. If and when I ever become a New York Times columnist and bestselling author, I will expect people to judge my work and mock it if they think it deserves mockery.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 12:29 PM on April 30, 2019 [11 favorites]
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 12:29 PM on April 30, 2019 [11 favorites]
Yeah, the cast iron skillet's the tell here. They're like $14 bucks at the hardware store, and there's no way the Brooks household didn't have one.
posted by Caxton1476 at 12:47 PM on April 30, 2019
posted by Caxton1476 at 12:47 PM on April 30, 2019
Comment from a reader on the excellent link rhizome posted above:
“David Brooks is the Thomas Kinkade of American social thought.”
posted by darkstar at 1:01 PM on April 30, 2019 [24 favorites]
“David Brooks is the Thomas Kinkade of American social thought.”
posted by darkstar at 1:01 PM on April 30, 2019 [24 favorites]
“David Brooks is the Thomas Kinkade of American social thought.”
THINKER OF LIGHT
posted by sallybrown at 1:17 PM on April 30, 2019 [22 favorites]
THINKER OF LIGHT
posted by sallybrown at 1:17 PM on April 30, 2019 [22 favorites]
Oh man, I found this thread too late. Fortunately Zardoz was there to save the situation; you should never talk about David Brooks without bringing up Driftglass.
When I first started noticing Brooks, he had me questioning my sanity. I would have these persistent intrusive thoughts of "How can no one else see that David Brooks is the dumbest person in America? "How can this person have a column in a national newspaper?" "Why is he getting these 6 and 7 figure paychecks?" And then thanks to MetaFilter I found Driftglass, a blogger who has spent the last ~15 years dragging on David Brooks on a weekly basis. And it's like I found my soul-twin, another me in another body. He even does crappy photoshops and youtube videos!
Anyway, thanks to Driftglass I now understand that people like Brooks don't have real opinions or thoughts or theories, not like we have them. Rather they are like WWE wrestlers for us middlebrow people. They pretend to certain personas and political positions and outlooks, and are paid for it, and then go home to their new kitchenware and new wife. And any talk about new spiritual positions or whatever is just like when a heel at WWE has a change of heart and joins with Hulk Hogan for a match. In conclusion, fuck David Brooks, a person who has spent his entire life whoring for fascism.
posted by Balna Watya at 1:27 PM on April 30, 2019 [12 favorites]
When I first started noticing Brooks, he had me questioning my sanity. I would have these persistent intrusive thoughts of "How can no one else see that David Brooks is the dumbest person in America? "How can this person have a column in a national newspaper?" "Why is he getting these 6 and 7 figure paychecks?" And then thanks to MetaFilter I found Driftglass, a blogger who has spent the last ~15 years dragging on David Brooks on a weekly basis. And it's like I found my soul-twin, another me in another body. He even does crappy photoshops and youtube videos!
Anyway, thanks to Driftglass I now understand that people like Brooks don't have real opinions or thoughts or theories, not like we have them. Rather they are like WWE wrestlers for us middlebrow people. They pretend to certain personas and political positions and outlooks, and are paid for it, and then go home to their new kitchenware and new wife. And any talk about new spiritual positions or whatever is just like when a heel at WWE has a change of heart and joins with Hulk Hogan for a match. In conclusion, fuck David Brooks, a person who has spent his entire life whoring for fascism.
posted by Balna Watya at 1:27 PM on April 30, 2019 [12 favorites]
David Brooks can now be legally composted in Washington State. So he isn’t a complete waste of space.
posted by spitbull at 3:38 PM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by spitbull at 3:38 PM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
I feel like David Brooks deserves to be held to a higher standard than the rest of us, by virtue of the fact that he has a really big platform, and he's paid a huge amount of money to pontificate from it.
Imagine it: your job is to, what, write 500 words twice a week and spend Sunday mornings playing Twitter-genius on TV? Writing a book is just gravy after that.
posted by rhizome at 4:00 PM on April 30, 2019
Imagine it: your job is to, what, write 500 words twice a week and spend Sunday mornings playing Twitter-genius on TV? Writing a book is just gravy after that.
posted by rhizome at 4:00 PM on April 30, 2019
BRB, ironing the old scrote.
Some traditions should stay dead
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 4:33 PM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
Some traditions should stay dead
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 4:33 PM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
Although the recent breast anatomy thread has given me a new perspective on our innards, and my ASCII talents have clearly waned since their heyday, I nonetheless unapologetically present for the audience at home this amateur rendering of David Brooks for your perusal:
0|0
it's . . . difficult to iron out that one big wrinkle.
posted by aspersioncast at 5:21 PM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
0|0
it's . . . difficult to iron out that one big wrinkle.
posted by aspersioncast at 5:21 PM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
Hang on, I'm not sure I have this right.
Brooks got his ex-wife to convert to Judaism in order to marry her, stepped out on her with his assistant, and when she (understandably) left him he became a Catholic? Do I have this right?
posted by East14thTaco at 8:52 PM on May 1, 2019 [2 favorites]
Brooks got his ex-wife to convert to Judaism in order to marry her, stepped out on her with his assistant, and when she (understandably) left him he became a Catholic? Do I have this right?
posted by East14thTaco at 8:52 PM on May 1, 2019 [2 favorites]
If there is one thing the infidelity of my wife has taught me - people who cheat on their spouses are among the fucking worst humanity has to offer.
I'll happily accept my status as the worst humanity has to offer but I hope that doesn't mean I have to start reading David fucking Brooks.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 10:54 AM on May 2, 2019 [1 favorite]
I'll happily accept my status as the worst humanity has to offer but I hope that doesn't mean I have to start reading David fucking Brooks.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 10:54 AM on May 2, 2019 [1 favorite]
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(Also dumping his wife of thirty years for a hot young Christian woman who helped him find Jesus. David Brooks is literally the only man in the world who could cheat on his wife with his assistant and turn it into an excuse to lecture us all about morality. He's the worst. That New Yorker piece is kind of savage, but it's still more time than I want to spend thinking about David fucking Brooks.)
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:56 PM on April 29, 2019 [133 favorites]