This is just to say
September 18, 2019 1:50 PM   Subscribe

I unironically love this.

In the cool water with the plums.
posted by Naberius at 1:55 PM on September 18, 2019 [2 favorites]

I will never miss a chance to post The Holy Tango of Poetry: Poets writing poems that are anagrams of their own names.
posted by skullhead at 1:58 PM on September 18, 2019 [68 favorites]

skullhead, I just broke my finger trying to favorite your comment

that is brilliant

how had I never heard of that?

so much depends upon
Islamic owls
posted by chavenet at 2:05 PM on September 18, 2019 [4 favorites]

forgive me
it was impulsive
so clever
yet so dumb
posted by Clowder of bats at 2:12 PM on September 18, 2019 [4 favorites]

"big goddamn YELLOW plum" needs to be someone's MeFi handle.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 2:16 PM on September 18, 2019 [2 favorites]

I'm imagining the comments spoken aloud by Christopher Walken: "Bill, y’ know…that…that…it doesn’t work for me. I gotta have more plums!"
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 2:21 PM on September 18, 2019 [5 favorites]

How come everything on McSweeny's my shirt starts funny unstained, but becomes increasingly boring sticky after the first two minutes plums?
posted by not_on_display at 2:23 PM on September 18, 2019 [5 favorites]

Since Christopher Walken has been invoked and since it involves meter, I've often imagined Christopher Walken singing Burt Bacharach: "Raindrops... keep... fallin'.. on my... head." Somebody please make this happen!
posted by sjswitzer at 2:37 PM on September 18, 2019 [1 favorite]

Because I could not stop for Death –
He kindly stopped for me –
The Carriage held but just Ourselves –
And Plums so cold and sweet.

We slowly drove – He knew no haste
And I had fast consumed
A dozen plums or more and really
Needed a powder room.

We passed the School, where Children strove
At Recess – in the Ring –
We passed the Fields of Gazing Grain –
So I passed in a wheelbarrow, glazed by the rain –

And wiped with a chicken that used to be white
Then, returning to Death, so cold and so numb,
Said, Forgive me, kind sir - I must look a sight.
He just smiled and offered more plums.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:40 PM on September 18, 2019 [20 favorites]

Plums? No, no, I'm here for more dickhead non-apology content, and I can't say I'm disappointed.
posted by MiraK at 2:48 PM on September 18, 2019

WCW ’s
          who used to
          write with an officedesk-type
and eat onetwothreefourfive

he was a hungry man
                               and what i want to know
how do you like your empty icebox
Mister Death
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:24 PM on September 18, 2019 [12 favorites]

see mg cumin

this will not be
near enough
for (chili, cuban beans) or
with need of earthywondrousspice
too liittletoo
posted by Jon Mitchell at 4:25 PM on September 18, 2019 [2 favorites]

I wandered lonely as a PLUM
That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

— “PLUMS” by William Wordsworth
posted by Lanark at 4:27 PM on September 18, 2019 [3 favorites]

That is why I started to write Plummerson: a plum is ndeed
a primus for the poet there are no ideas but in plantae.
But the critics would have it that I, the

Grower to write poems in their very zeal as
all depends on what you call profound. For I
the Plum lord have but a Frigidaire for storage.
posted by clavdivs at 4:31 PM on September 18, 2019 [2 favorites]

"There's something about this that's so Metafilter, it's like how much more Metafilter could this be? And the answer is none. None more Metafilter."
posted by sugar and confetti at 4:44 PM on September 18, 2019 [5 favorites]

I ask them to take a plum
and hold it up to the light
like a color slide

or press an ear against its skin.

I say drop a mouse onto a plum
and watch him roll his way away,

or walk outside the plum's home
and trim the leaves for a switch.

I want them to rub water
across the surface of a plum
ready for the owner's hunger in the morn.

But all they want to do
is bite the plum standing over the sink
and scribble a confession about it.

They begin eating it without
a thought to what it really means.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:51 PM on September 18, 2019 [3 favorites]

Let it go then, in my belly,
When the evening is spread out like thick plum jelly
Or a basket filled with plums upon a table;
Let us dine on certain half-devoured prunes
In muttering saloons,
And restless meals of one-fruit plum compotes
In sawdust restaurants, stuffed down our throats.
Plums you swallow like a a tedious condiment
Of unfortunate ferment
To leave you overwhelmed by indigestion ...
Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
Let make our bathroom visit.
posted by kyrademon at 5:08 PM on September 18, 2019 [12 favorites]

In the room, plum lovers sup from jars
Talking of native cultivars.
posted by kyrademon at 5:29 PM on September 18, 2019 [7 favorites]

The yellow plum that left its stone upon the window-seat,
The yellow plum that rubbed its flesh onto the window-seat,
Flicked its juice into the corners of the bedroom,
Fingers were dipped in pools that left a stain,
It fell into a crack that lay beside the chimney,
Slipped past the terrace, made a sudden leap,
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Rolled once about the house, and fell asleep.
posted by kyrademon at 5:34 PM on September 18, 2019 [3 favorites]

Metafilter: Plumlords!
posted by Oyéah at 5:42 PM on September 18, 2019 [1 favorite]

big goddamn YELLOW plum what wow I went there
posted by doctornemo at 5:45 PM on September 18, 2019 [1 favorite]

There will be time for the plums
That roll along the street.
Time for you to eat plums
Time for me to eat plums
Time yet for a hundred visions
And revisions before the taking of plums
And tea.
posted by Oyéah at 5:45 PM on September 18, 2019 [1 favorite]

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow plum that rolled into the street,
Rubbing its flesh upon the window-seat;
There will be time - there will be thyme
To prepare a knish to fill with plum-flesh that you eat;
There will be time to slice and time to grate,
And time for all the forks and spoons and hands
That lift and drop a plum upon your plate;
Time to stew and serve with brie,
And time to make a hundred more provisions,
The plums all cooked with vision and precision,
So we can eat them with our toast and tea.
posted by kyrademon at 5:45 PM on September 18, 2019 [3 favorites]

For I will consider my Plum Jeoffry.
For he is the servant of the Living Plumtree, duly and daily serving him.
For at the first glance of the glory of Tree in the East he worships in his way.
For is this done by wreathing his flesh seven times round with elegant quickness.
For then he leaps up to catch the sun, which is the blessing of Tree upon his prayer.
For he rolls upon juices to work them in.
posted by doctornemo at 5:47 PM on September 18, 2019 [4 favorites]

This is just to say

I have taken
the plums
that were in
this poem

and which
you were probably
for memeing

Learned that
it is the structure
and the plums
both memeable
posted by nubs at 5:48 PM on September 18, 2019 [14 favorites]

Do I dare to eat a plum?
I have heard the plums
Screaming each to each
I do not think that they
Will scream to me.
posted by Oyéah at 5:48 PM on September 18, 2019 [1 favorite]

To everything (plum, plum, plum)
There is a season (plum, plum, plum)
And a time to every stone fruit under heaven
posted by Ranucci at 5:51 PM on September 18, 2019 [7 favorites]

People let me tell you 'bout your best plum
posted by rhizome at 5:52 PM on September 18, 2019 [1 favorite]

Some say the plums will break their fast,
As cold as ice.
From what I’ve tasted, they won't last
A hasty note should see me past.
But if I had to thieve you twice,
I think I know enough of fruit
To say that cinnamon apple spice
Is such sweet loot
I'd pay the price.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:58 PM on September 18, 2019 [6 favorites]

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Did they like it?”, “Are there crumbs?”
Time to turn back and present the plums,
With a bad spot well concealed beneath my thumbs —
(They will say: “How his plums are growing mold!”)
My greengages, my damson growing fleshy, ripe, and bold,
Satsumas rich and modest, having well survived the early cold —
(They will say: “But how his Mirabelles grew mold!”)
Do I dare
To serve the yellowgage?
In a minute there is time
For a restaurant reviewer to grow ill and vent her rage.

(and oh god it is two a.m. and i must sleep now i will never reach "No! I am not Prince Plumlet, nor was meant to be!")
posted by kyrademon at 5:59 PM on September 18, 2019 [4 favorites]

I met a traveller from an antique land,
Who said—“Two vast and barren heaps of pits
Stand in the desert. . . . Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose maw,
And open lips, and sneer of sweet enjoyment,
Tell that its sculptor well that hunger read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that held them, and stomach that fed;
And on the pedestal, these words appear:
My name is Ozymandias, Eater of Plums;
Look on my Icebox, ye Mighty, and Despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Meal, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.”
posted by Maastrictian at 6:20 PM on September 18, 2019 [11 favorites]

Your poem that mentions a plum,
Is often quite happy, not glum,
Though because of this rhyme,
I will do the crime,
Of saying it’s really quite dumb.
posted by njohnson23 at 6:27 PM on September 18, 2019 [3 favorites]

I think that I shall never strum
An axe as lovely as a plum.

A plum whose juicy licks are best
Against the lyrics about breasts;

A plum that sings of God all day,
And lilts with gnarly strings to pray;

A plum that may in Summer wear
A band of metal, sub-type (hair);

Upon a metaphor quite strain'd;
Made pruny in the November Rain.

Axes are made by poems this dumb,
But only God can make a plum.
posted by explosion at 8:21 PM on September 18, 2019 [2 favorites]

These Puerto Ricans and their poetry.
posted by kadmilos at 10:43 PM on September 18, 2019

If her horny feet protrude, they come
To show how cold they are, her plums
Let the lamp affix the room
The only emperor is the emperor of all prunes.
posted by benzenedream at 11:09 PM on September 18, 2019 [2 favorites]

For I have served them all already, served them all:
Have served plum cake, plum trifle, candied prunes,
I have measured out my spice with tablespoons;
I've seen soufflé collapsing with a dying fall
Beneath the weight of far too many plums.
So why do I succumb?
posted by kyrademon at 12:14 AM on September 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

Because I ate the plums already, ate them all—
Plums, I lick you in a constipated craze,
And when I am constipated, struggling on the john,
When I am pained and wriggling in the stall,
The plums help me begin
To sh*t out all the gluttony of many days,
The plums that I consumed.
posted by kyrademon at 12:23 AM on September 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

And I have licked your plums already, licked them all—
Plums that were seasonal and red and ripe
(But in the lamplight, stained by yellow stripes!)
Is it thinking of your plums
That makes makes my mouth go numb?
Plums that lie upon a table like fleshy, mealy balls.
Should I these plums consume?
With which should I begin?
posted by kyrademon at 12:34 AM on September 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

goddammit i should have used "plums" instead of "time" in the time verse
posted by kyrademon at 12:54 AM on September 19, 2019

well this needs sidebarred
posted by glasseyes at 3:46 AM on September 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

"Oh, my, god, Becky, look at that plum"

I like big plums and I cannot lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a plum rolls in with an itty bitty stem
And a round thing in your face, you get sprung
Wanna pull up tough 'cause you notice that peel was stuffed
Deep in the box it's carryin'
I'm hooked and I can't stop starin'
Oh, baby, I wanna get wit'cha
And take your picture
My roommates tried to warn me
But that plum you got makes (me so horny!)
Oh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you wanna get in my hands?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average fruit-y
I've seen 'em dancin'
To hell with romancin'
Inside's wet, wet
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' all protein is the thing
Take the average fruit man and ask him that
See 'em on the rack
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your icebox got the plums? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake those healthy plums!
Baby got plums!
posted by Huffy Puffy at 4:40 AM on September 19, 2019 [6 favorites]

Plum-pit Plum-pit, hardened brute,
In the ripe flesh of the fruit;
What immortal tooth or gum,
Could break thy fearful stony crumb?
posted by MiraK at 6:03 AM on September 19, 2019 [2 favorites]

My plum verse brings all the boys to the yard
And they're like, it's sweeter than yours
Damn right it's sweeter than yours
I can teach you, but I have to charge
posted by nubs at 6:24 AM on September 19, 2019 [3 favorites]

nobody, not even the rain, has such small plums.
posted by Mchelly at 6:27 AM on September 19, 2019 [2 favorites]

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the kitchen at dawn looking for a chilled plum,
angelheaded fruit thieves burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the stonefruit dynamo in the icebox of night
posted by zamboni at 6:46 AM on September 19, 2019 [2 favorites]

The apparition of these plums in an icebox;
Breakfast of a sweet, cold fruit.
posted by SansPoint at 6:55 AM on September 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

Shall I compare thee to a summer plum?
Thou art more juicy and thy flesh more sweet
posted by skullhead at 7:08 AM on September 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

And move my plum
My plum my plum my plum my plum
My plum my plum my plum my plum my plum my plum
My lovely lady plums
My lovely lady plums my lovely lady plums
In the back and in the front (of the icebox)
posted by zamboni at 7:28 AM on September 19, 2019 [3 favorites]

How does a dusty, wax-bloomed
Fruit share the same name as pink blossoms
Grown in the middle of a quake-rock'ed
Spot in the Pacific rim
For ornaments? Whose judgement can we censure
For this travesty of nomenclature?

The sour fodder
Turns into prunes without its water
Was a lot tarter
Before the smart farmer
Living in Asia Minor
Mixed up its gene order.
The cross breed
Sweetened up like this apricot 'ere.

And every day, while cave men slaughtered
Cave-women planted the seed:
This fruit was domesticated.
Inside it was always the potential to be desiccated -
Give fiber to our body, and anti-oxidate it.

Then a hungry poet came
Stole some fruit with no shame
Ate them all, see the juice drip dripping down his chin.
Put a pencil to his temple
Connected it to his brain
And he wrote his famed refrain
A testament to illicit gain

Now the word got around
They said, this poem is insane, man
Took up a publisher
Just to spread the imagist movement
Get your accolades, don't forget the fruit you ate
And the world's gonna know its name

What's its name, man?

Prunus Prunus, or just "Plum"
My name is Prunus Prunus, or just "Plum"
There's a million poems I'm not in
But just you wait, just you wait!

posted by MiraK at 7:43 AM on September 19, 2019 [11 favorites]

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the plums
posted by Clowder of bats at 7:58 AM on September 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

MiraK you're my hero.
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 9:09 AM on September 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

There once was an icebox with plums
So sweet and so cold they'd become
They were to be craved
For breakfast they're saved
"So delicious" is my rule of thumb
posted by rhizome at 4:54 PM on September 19, 2019 [2 favorites]

Poll: You can insert the word "fucking" into William Carlos Williams' "This is Just to Say" exactly once. Where do you put it?
posted by Mchelly at 2:15 PM on October 6, 2019

Where do you put it?

I wish they had some indication where and when we can find the results, but if you ask me, it's fucking obvious.
posted by rhizome at 10:48 AM on October 7, 2019 [1 favorite]

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