Crusader Kings 3 will let you become the pope of your own cannibal cult
October 23, 2019 3:25 PM   Subscribe

Crusader Kings 3 [YouTube][Annoucement Trailer] “Crusader Kings 3, the next installment of Paradox Interactive’s grand strategy franchise, is arriving next year on PCs — via Steam and Xbox Game Pass for PC. Paradox shared the news this weekend at its annual PDXCON gathering for fans of the publisher’s game. Crusader Kings 3 is highlighting cunning, calculating, scheming and all sorts of other Saturday-matinee adjectives as chief components of the player’s drive to build their medieval dynasty. [...] Now celebrating its 15th year, the Crusader Kings franchise has taken a million players through an endlessly rewritten history of Europe in the Middle Ages. The most recent game in the series launched seven years ago — Crusader Kings 2, strictly for PC, in 2012. Paradox recently made that title free for everyone via Steam in observance of the PDXCON festivities. [via: Polygon]
posted by Fizz (34 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
 
For anyone who has wondered about whether or not this game is right for them, this is my bumper-sticker pitch:
Crusader Kings II: a medieval regicidal soap-opera murder dating sim!
posted by Fizz at 3:27 PM on October 23, 2019 [10 favorites]


Don't forget the incest.
posted by Pendragon at 3:35 PM on October 23, 2019 [3 favorites]


When considering a future CK game, a question is to ask: will it have enough tags and be parallelized enough to support expansions that cover China, South/East Asia, sub-Saharan Africa, and hell why not the pre-Columbian Americas? For all of the DLCs and mods that will be made, all of the AARs and LPs that are yet to be written.
posted by Apocryphon at 3:42 PM on October 23, 2019 [1 favorite]


Can't wait to imprison my mom.
posted by selfnoise at 3:57 PM on October 23, 2019 [8 favorites]


Paradox knows when they've got a good thing going: Crusader Kings 3 will emphasize characters and procedural storytelling even more than CK2. It'll still be a strategy game, just with the knob twisted further towards role-playing events and details at the level of the individual.
posted by skymt at 4:07 PM on October 23, 2019 [4 favorites]


Don't forget the incest.

Don't forget the cannibalism.
posted by Justinian at 4:08 PM on October 23, 2019 [1 favorite]


Don't forget the fratricide.
posted by heresiarch at 4:22 PM on October 23, 2019 [1 favorite]


Either way we're going to be poking holes in a lot of people
posted by Merus at 4:23 PM on October 23, 2019 [7 favorites]


medieval regicidal soap-opera murder dating sim
🎶 we didn't start the fire 🎶
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 4:24 PM on October 23, 2019 [22 favorites]


When considering a future CK game, a question is to ask: will it have enough tags and be parallelized enough to support expansions that cover China, South/East Asia, sub-Saharan Africa, and hell why not the pre-Columbian Americas?

They seem to be planning for it. The map is already vaster in extent than CK2's, stretching east into Mongolia. (It also has a much higher resolution, such that you can zoom in to see regions within counties. That strikes me as odd, because Paradox is also abstracting away most interactions with barons, mayors, and bishops.)

Apparently there's ample room for China, but for now that part of the map is marked Terra Incognita and guarded by a dragon.
posted by Iridic at 4:27 PM on October 23, 2019 [2 favorites]


The biggest controversy thus far? Whether Deus Vult is coming back to the game.

Gamers ruin everything. Even Latin phrases of Catholic supremacy.
posted by Your Childhood Pet Rock at 4:50 PM on October 23, 2019


As long as I can eventually reestablish Zoroastrianism in Persia I am in.
posted by Meatbomb at 5:25 PM on October 23, 2019 [2 favorites]


Crusader Kings 3 will let you become the pope of your own cannibal cult

Ditto real life, if played right.
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 5:25 PM on October 23, 2019 [10 favorites]


"You have selected 'regicide'. If you know the name of the king or queen being murdered, press '1'."
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 5:36 PM on October 23, 2019 [15 favorites]


My gaming is always reliably about a decade behind the curve, so with the news that CK 2 is free on Steam I guess I’ve found a new time sink.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:47 PM on October 23, 2019 [3 favorites]


So can I have a woman be a leader without jumping through a thousand hoops or is that just too weird for gamers?
posted by gc at 7:08 PM on October 23, 2019 [4 favorites]


gaming is always reliably about a decade behind the curve

See I'm like, OK, around 2025 I can buy a patched CK3 sold in a bundle with most of the DLC.
posted by save alive nothing that breatheth at 7:18 PM on October 23, 2019 [4 favorites]


Is this the only game trailer that involves the assassination of a newborn child?

So can I have a woman be a leader without jumping through a thousand hoops or is that just too weird for gamers?

I haven't played CK2 in a while so memory may be off (or things may have changed with patches) but I don't think it was that hard at all there? Army field commander was restricted though.
posted by mark k at 7:26 PM on October 23, 2019


They seem to be planning for it. The map is already vaster in extent than CK2's, stretching east into Mongolia.

Apparently, the intention is for all dynastic characters on the map to be playable, in contrast to CK2 where originally only Feudal Christians were playable until expansions added Muslims & Jews, Pagans, and Buddhists & Hindus. Theocracies (i.e., the Papal States) will not be playable, as in CK2, nor will Republics be playable, which CK2 got in an expansion. One limitation, though, is that Nomads, while playable, will be represented as Tribal governments rather than having unique mechanics. I expect that to change with DLC. (Ditto Republics, they're definitely going to come back eventually.)

So can I have a woman be a leader without jumping through a thousand hoops or is that just too weird for gamers?

They haven't commented about this regarding CK3 specifically, but CK2 had at least a few playable female rulers for each start date. Most were historical persons, but they also invented a few in places with less documentation just to have more options. Once you started a game, you could adjust a "Rights of Women" law as well as your realm's Succession Law to allow women to hold offices and inherit titles, respectively. I think I read that they intend to handle this via the religion system in CK3? Or maybe that's just for priests.
posted by tobascodagama at 8:38 PM on October 23, 2019


If I remember right mostly you get male-preferred inheritance, so you have to make arrangements for only female heirs to be available, and if you're Basque, certain kinds of heretic, probably a few other obscurities, you can get male/female equal inheritance. Not the hardest thing especially for people who do tricks like restoring the glory of Rome, but definitely not default.

In one of the patches/DLC they put in a custom settings menu where you can make equal, female-preferred, or female-only inheritance available, and some of the DLC I don't have lets you eventually get access to equal inheritance...
posted by save alive nothing that breatheth at 8:39 PM on October 23, 2019 [1 favorite]


male-preferred inheritance

Q: Primogeniture?

A: No, it's just the way my trousers hang.
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 8:55 PM on October 23, 2019


OK, leaving thread now. Couldn't get the F2P Steam base CKII to work on my clunky, very-old lappy which is a shame, but I'll have another go at it tomorrow and appreciate the heads-up regardless.
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 8:59 PM on October 23, 2019


I doubt I will ever play this, but I love reading about it. The play-throughs linked in this FPP (also by Fizz, of course), are hilarious.
posted by Chrysostom at 9:26 PM on October 23, 2019 [1 favorite]


How would people feel about making the easy difficulty settings male character only and the hard settings female character only in some games? Sort of like real life, since that's also the justification for how many games are set up, especially the historical epics. I can see downsides to this but also interesting consideration of gender equality.
posted by biffa at 3:21 AM on October 24, 2019


Is this the only game trailer that involves the assassination of a newborn child?

Seriously though, that trailer should have a content warning.
posted by ultraviolet catastrophe at 4:14 AM on October 24, 2019


Another question about the trailer is does the newborn have long locks of red hair? Because that's not how babies work.
posted by ultraviolet catastrophe at 4:16 AM on October 24, 2019


My gaming is always reliably about a decade behind the curve, so with the news that CK 2 is free on Steam I guess I’ve found a new time sink.

I was just about to say I may need to start playing the current game so thanks for pointing this out! I'm the same as you, always way behind.
posted by Chaffinch at 5:51 AM on October 24, 2019


Don't forget the incest.
posted by Pendragon at 6:35 PM on October 23 [3 favorites +] [!]

Don't forget the cannibalism.
posted by Justinian at 7:08 PM on October 23 [1 favorite +] [!]

Don't forget the fratricide.
posted by heresiarch at 7:22 PM on October 23 [1 favorite +] [!]


Guys, please, take it to the megathread.
posted by The Bellman at 6:24 AM on October 24, 2019 [5 favorites]


Seriously though, that trailer should have a content warning.

Oh that kid's probably fine, believe me, I've tried to kill a lot of children in that game and it hardly ever works out
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:35 AM on October 24, 2019 [3 favorites]


How would people feel about making the easy difficulty settings male character only and the hard settings female character only in some games?

That's kind of how it works in CK2, although more as a consequence of existing systems than a deliberate choice. There's no "difficulty settings", per se. (There are "game rules", some of which affect difficulty, but most of them are things like "does the Mongol Invasion happen randomly or at the the exact historical date".)

Instead, you pick whatever character you want and the game tells you how difficult it will be to play as that character, based on things like the size of your holdings, your number of potential heirs, your starting vassals, etc. That's because there's no "victory" or "failure" condition. The game ends when you make it to 1453 or if you have no valid heirs for your titles.

Most of the female starts have few potential heirs, and many of them start without a husband (by necessity, since usually that's the only way for a woman to become a ruler under most succession laws) to make new ones with. You can marry, of course, but obtaining a matrilineal marriage is the only way to produce heirs of your own dynasty, and most characters will be extremely reluctant to agree to one of those.

So it's about as hard as it was historically.
posted by tobascodagama at 10:01 AM on October 24, 2019 [2 favorites]


My gaming is always reliably about a decade behind the curve, so with the news that CK 2 is free on Steam I guess I’ve found a new time sink.

Don't do it if you have any big responsibilities coming up in the next three-six months!
posted by internet fraud detective squad, station number 9 at 3:04 PM on October 24, 2019 [2 favorites]


In general games from Paradox are excellent if you like the deep complexity grognard style of play, but you really do need to wait for the first few rounds of DLC. Initial release is more a "proof of concept" with all of the more interesting bells and whistles that you are used to in the previous iteration stripped away.

CKII is now very full-bodied and very fun. Give CKIII a couple years or more and I am certain it will be even better.
posted by Meatbomb at 6:24 PM on October 24, 2019


Oh and some of my best fun has been starting play as a female ruler. That is the time to look for genetics rather than dynastic power in your chosen, no king or even powerful duke is going to marry you and let his dynastic line die.

But I can assure you, somewhere in Europe there is a beefcake stable boy, with high intelligence and other desirable traits, that will happily become the consort and produce a line of excellent heirs for you.

Keep in mind that you are not running the character so much as the dynasty, so barring very unusual circumstances your goal with a female ruler is to produce a viable male heir.
posted by Meatbomb at 6:28 PM on October 24, 2019


I'm glad to see that most other folk here had the same CK2 challenges as I did.
My seemingly unkillable ruler who was still active on the battlefield (and fathering children) at 96 had a raft of useless imbecile sons (the majority of whom he outlived) and some incredible daughters.

Changing the laws to allow them to succeed was more or less his main work for the last 50% of his life.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 4:39 AM on October 25, 2019 [2 favorites]


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