It was the best of Tims, it was the worst of Toms.

October 25, 2019 11:10 AM

Inside the Great [Reddit] War of Tim vs. Tom
As thousands of non-Tims and non-Toms flooded into the warring subreddits, the two factions continued to battle. Paranoia spread, memes lit up the skies, olive branches were denied and both sides began reaching out to other name subreddits for allegiances. “After a thorough review of r/David, I deemed them worthy of an alliance with r/Tim,” Juzt_Tim says. “r/David hadn’t yet taken the side of the Toms and were looking for an ally.” (One might think r/Jim would be a natural ally to r/Tim, but the Jims seem to have their own issues going on — and eventually became a target themselves.)

In the interest of full disclosure:
OP is a Tom, but not in any way affiliated with r/Tom. (In fact, some of his best friends are Tims.)

posted by Atom Eyes (22 comments total)

...Tims are more chill than the Toms, more mature,” he says.

It was getting late in South Carolina, and the 14-year-old

This is the point where my boss came out of her office to make sure that the noise I just made was not due to a medical emergency.
posted by Etrigan at 11:15 AM on October 25, 2019 [27 favorites]

In all the chaos, even more name subreddits were uncovered. “Then, they began to make their own allegiances. Soon after, r/UnitedNames began to grow,” Juzt_Tim explains. He feels compelled to add the obvious: “r/UnitedNames is like the United Nations but for names. In it, you’ll find posts about wars between other subreddits and which names have alliances. r/Tim is now a member of UnitedNames, but r/Tom is not.”

They're all good Toms, Tim.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:30 AM on October 25, 2019 [3 favorites]

Beware the leader who bangs the TimToms of war in order to whip the citizenry into a fervor
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:49 AM on October 25, 2019 [3 favorites]

I think I'm officially An Old because...what. Just, what?? How do you "win" a meme war? What are The Kids doing out there on the interwebz, guys.
posted by Hold your seahorses at 11:53 AM on October 25, 2019 [2 favorites]

This is very stupid. I love it.
posted by Rock Steady at 12:13 PM on October 25, 2019 [7 favorites]

Rage — Goddess, sing the rage of Tim's son Tim,
murderous, doomed, that cost the Toms countless losses,
hurling down to the House of Death so many sturdy souls
posted by thatwhichfalls at 12:37 PM on October 25, 2019 [6 favorites]

...Tims are more chill than the Toms, more mature,” he says.

Sure, this is probably BS, but there probably are some stable differences between the two communities arising purely from random chance, historical contingency, and difference in moderation style. The fact that they are nominally groups of people with the same first name adds even more complication, given that the popularity of different given names is well known to rise and fall over time. There must be a fascinating sociology study to be written about the differences that occur across such an arbitrary dividing line.
posted by J.K. Seazer at 1:14 PM on October 25, 2019 [2 favorites]

🎶 what shall we do when the war is over, tender comrade / when we lay down our weary Toms 🎶
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 1:16 PM on October 25, 2019 [2 favorites]

If I should die, think only this of me:
That there’s some corner of a foreign field
That is for ever Tim.
posted by thatwhichfalls at 1:27 PM on October 25, 2019 [2 favorites]

My older brother is a Tim.  He was mean to me growing up, as older brothers are, so I'm throwing in my lot with Team Tom.

(See, Tim?  10-year-old me told you I'd have my revenge one day.  Behold the terrible vengeance of my wrath!  Suck it!   TEAM TOM FOREVER!)
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 1:32 PM on October 25, 2019 [5 favorites]

I can't decide if that digital sociology professor is a) trolling or b) an oblivious idiot.
posted by fshgrl at 2:24 PM on October 25, 2019 [1 favorite]

Don't bring /r/David into this.
Also, fuck /r/David, it's /r/Dave.
Actually no - keep /r/David in. leave /r/Dave OUT of this bullshit.
posted by symbioid at 2:28 PM on October 25, 2019 [2 favorites]

And DEFINITELY leave /r/SteveDave out
posted by symbioid at 2:28 PM on October 25, 2019 [2 favorites]

I think I'm officially An Old because...what. Just, what?? How do you "win" a meme war? What are The Kids doing out there on the interwebz, guys.
posted by Hold your seahorses at 1:53 PM on October 25 [+] [!]

WINNING by confusing you ;)
posted by symbioid at 2:29 PM on October 25, 2019 [1 favorite]

An amazing example of what Kurt Vonnegut, and subsequently psychologists, call Granfalloons.
posted by gryftir at 2:29 PM on October 25, 2019 [8 favorites]

...Tims are more chill than the Toms, more mature,” he says.

It was getting late in South Carolina, and the 14-year-old

I was guilty of posting online as a preteen and regular teen, and at the time I thought it was annoying and discriminatory when people sussed out my age or accused me of being young or immature, even when they were right. Reddit in general is inundated with teens, it really does make me wish you had some way of knowing who you're conversing with. Sometimes I am laying into someone in a way I wouldn't if I knew they were just kids, who I have different expectations of. There's a difference between some teen trolling or amusing themselves with being contrarian and controversial, but it becomes indistinguishable from badfaith adults, who themselves might as well be spurned on by yet other kids just not giving a fuck.

Surely there are teens here, too, but generally I enjoy the more mature perspectives around here, especially as a balance to reddit.
posted by GoblinHoney at 2:30 PM on October 25, 2019

I'm feeling pretty good about my decision to be a Thom and avoiding the whole thing.

r/Thom has 4 members and no posts in three years of existence. Feels about right.
posted by calamari kid at 3:55 PM on October 25, 2019 [2 favorites]

Don't bring /r/David into this.
Also, fuck /r/David, it's /r/Dave.
Actually no - keep /r/David in. leave /r/Dave OUT of this bullshit.

/r/TimTams could get wrapped up in the confusion.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 4:16 PM on October 25, 2019 [1 favorite]

Reddit in general is inundated with teens

There is an r/teenagers and the thing that made me feel weird and old looking at is is - there is no way I would have posted on a forum designated for teenagers when I was a teenager what the hell??
posted by atoxyl at 4:17 PM on October 25, 2019 [5 favorites]

There won't be any trumpets blowing,
Come the judgment day,
On the bloody morning after
One Tim soldier rides away.
posted by nubs at 7:22 PM on October 25, 2019 [7 favorites]

There is a more pressing and long-standing war going on between r/Zack and r/Zach which seems at least rooted in a genuine dispute over who is the true Zack (ch)
posted by dis_integration at 8:12 PM on October 25, 2019 [1 favorite]

"I remember the beginning of the Great War like it was two weeks ago — because it was."
"We Tims are ul-tim-ately a family."
One might think r/Jim would be a natural ally to r/Tim, but the Jims seem to have their own issues going on.
"Without clear leadership brokering a peace deal, the Tims and Toms are just militias. No side will win, surrender or make peace until that happens."

This all needs to be made into a Ken Burns documentary.
posted by chrominance at 10:05 AM on October 26, 2019