July 19, 2002
10:22 AM   Subscribe

Who hasn't longed to see close-up pictures and diagrams of rabbit genitals? Before sexing your rabbit at home, be sure to know the signs of rabbit anger. And watch out: "Some rabbits are so 'mean' they seem more like predators than prey."
posted by mediareport (18 comments total)
is rabbit porn considered work safe?
posted by tolkhan at 10:25 AM on July 19, 2002

One way to defuse an angry encounter is to start grooming yourself, wiping your face and running your fingers through your hair. This indicates that the situation really should not be all that serious, and that everyone should just chill out. Often the rabbit will respond by doing the same, to indicate it agrees.

Hmmm... I'll try this sometime with work colleagues and friends. Good advice.
posted by quam at 10:29 AM on July 19, 2002

I used to have two house rabbits and while one was pretty sweet, the other was a mean onery bastard. I've since moved on to more interactive pets that don't require me to wrap all my cords and nail chewable boards over the far more expensive to replace baseboards.

I said it in another rabbit thread, but I'll say it again. Rabbits are not pets for the faint of heart. Research first, and if you think you can handle it, please adopt a bunny from your local rescue society rather than buying one from a pet store.

*hops off soapbox and starts grooming*
posted by jennyb at 10:32 AM on July 19, 2002

Does 'sexing a rabbit' make anyone else hear: oooo-ooo0whooo-ooo I wanna sex you up!?
posted by ao4047 at 10:43 AM on July 19, 2002

I was in rabbit 4-H growing up, and competed in "showing and fitting" exhibitions at the county and state fairs. Kids line up behind a long table, each with their rabbit in front of them. A judge walks up and down the length of the table asking each entrant to show their rabbit. "Show me the legs," "show me the teeth," etc. There was a very specific technique to showing each body part, and of course part of the competition was to test how well the competitors could handle their animals.

One of the important steps was when you were asked to "sex the rabbit." In this case, sex as a verb meant rolling your rabbit onto its lower back, supporting it with one hand, and then using your other hand to show off its genitals, ala the diagrams shown in the link. It was a true test of the composure of both the handler and the rabbit if this could be done with no resistance or kicking on either ones' behalf.
posted by arielmeadow at 10:50 AM on July 19, 2002

We used to raise rabbits for food... and let me tell you: those cute litte buggers can be really mean. And the TEETH! my word they're huge. Of course, most of them were really sweet (pun intended).

The farm animal to most fear, of course (aside from the black widows in the wood pile), is the goose. Evil, I tell you... evil.
posted by silusGROK at 10:56 AM on July 19, 2002

ao4047, please forgive me, but you asked.
posted by mathowie at 10:57 AM on July 19, 2002

I'll try this sometime with work colleagues and friends.

It'd probably work. :) It's like there are certain things mammals do that other mammals instinctively get, like when dogs put their heads down and butt up when they want to play. One thing that almost always works for me with scared dogs and cats is to start scratching really fast behind my ear. It seems like a basic non-threatening behavior and sound; they usually turn their head sideways and look interested. Faking a sneeze or two can help calm a scared animal, too. Don't know if it'll work with aggressive bunnies, though.

(Oh, tolkham: I figured the description was enough for folks to make the call. Hope the pics didn't get you in trouble, though.)
posted by mediareport at 11:00 AM on July 19, 2002

Don't forget the rabbit of Caerbannog...

Run away! Run away!
posted by evanizer at 11:29 AM on July 19, 2002

trancing bunnies :) sorta like tripping billies!
posted by kliuless at 11:45 AM on July 19, 2002

Right. How many did we lose?
And Bors. That's five.
Three, sir.
Three. Three. And we'd better not risk another frontal assault. That rabbit's dynamite.
Would it help to confuse it if we run away more?
Oh, shut up and go and change your armour.
Let us taunt it! It may become so cross that it will make a mistake.
Like what?
Well... ooh.
Have we got bows?
We have the Holy Hand Grenade.
Yes, of course! The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch! 'Tis one of the sacred relics Brother Maynard carries with him! Brother Maynard! Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade!
posted by Perigee at 11:56 AM on July 19, 2002

My goodness, that rabbit is a girl.

Oooh, my. That one's a boy.
posted by waldo at 12:03 PM on July 19, 2002

As a current rabbit owner, I think I need to defend the little guys. In my opinion, rampant chewing aside, they are the perfect apartent pet, friendly, chock full of personality, littler-trainable, non-smelly.

The 'meanness' more often then not is related to the rabbit not being spayed or neutered. Unfixed rabbits can get VERY territorial and unfriendly. All rabbits also get lonely pretty easily, so you need to get two if you aren't at home a lot. Finally, most of them hate being picked up, and will let you know if you try to do such things.

The only time my rabbit has ever bitten me (and drew blood!) was when I pulled a piece of kale away from her -- a mistake (they dont have depth perception after all) ... I think anyway.

Not for the faint of heart, as jennyb said.

On the upside, their playing NEVER ceases to be entertaining, the fantastic zig-zag running and 4 foot jumps can amuse for hours. The way they charge you and stick their head down demanding to be groomed is also quite charming. Quite the opposite of the comment above, I find rabbits plenty 'interactive', more than cats anyway.

The site in mediareport's last link, rabbit.org, is the place to get all the info you could possibly want.
posted by malphigian at 12:13 PM on July 19, 2002

Must. Have. Rabbit.
posted by evanizer at 12:17 PM on July 19, 2002

mediareport: i was asking a legitimate question. i didn't want to go look at bunny junk and risk someone sitting around me getting upset by lepus penis. so, i guess my question was, should i be worried that coworkers may be unhappy by what i see? curiosity won out, though, and i looked.

i think the people in charge of such things will be a little curious too when they see that i've been to a site titled 'Sexxing Rabbit.'
posted by tolkhan at 12:35 PM on July 19, 2002

I love rabbits. I especially love Pannéed Rabbit Tenderloin on a Tasso-Parmesan Grits Cake with Sautéed Spinach and Creole Mustard Sauce. (Sorry for the self-link.)
posted by chuq at 2:05 PM on July 19, 2002

Does 'sexing a rabbit' make anyone else hear: oooo-ooo0whooo-ooo I wanna sex you up!?

I hear this.

All the time. Why won't it stop?
posted by Shadowkeeper at 2:28 PM on July 19, 2002

A good friend of mine had a pet rabbit for about nine years; the poor bunny died, we think by eating a poisonous plant in the back yard.

She bought Ekrich (that was his name, don't ask me why) on an impulse at our State Fair, where on the last day a lot of the livestock is for sale. He was adorable, and quite intelligent; he learned to use the litterbox on his own by watching the cats. He "walked" on a leash (in a harness), and came a-hoppin' when he was called. He did get a tad aggressive once he hit puberty, and was finally neutered when he kept attempting to molest the cats. All in all, though, he made a far better pet than I thought a rabbit ever could.
posted by Oriole Adams at 8:17 PM on July 19, 2002

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