Are you prepared for the unbearable puns?
January 29, 2021 7:55 PM Subscribe
This is the thankfully long-lost 1983 film Grizzly II: Revenge ..., the proposed sequel to the mediocre but profitable 1976 Jaws knockoff Grizzly, about a huge bear that goes ape, if you will, after its cubs are killed by poachers and conceives a murderous loathing for all humans straying into its forest.
Grizzly II was abandoned after filming finished... But its producer Suzanne C Nagy has, after 37 years of legal wrangling, finally got the unedited footage into shape, ... and shamelessly released it, capitalising on the extraordinary fact that the first three kids to be killed by the crazy grizzly are played by a big-haired, denim-clad George Clooney (22 years old), Laura Dern (16) and Charlie Sheen (18). [The Guardian]. Watch the trailer.
Available to rent or buy on many services...
posted by ShooBoo at 8:13 PM on January 29, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by ShooBoo at 8:13 PM on January 29, 2021 [1 favorite]
So, when they said "digital platforms," apparently they meant, all the digital platforms. No bases left uncovered!
posted by JHarris at 8:16 PM on January 29, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by JHarris at 8:16 PM on January 29, 2021 [1 favorite]
The only way I'll see this movie is if the producers build a network of video tape rental stores, crush the pandemic and supply me with a player with an HDMI output. It's dead to me otherwise.
posted by thatwhichfalls at 8:18 PM on January 29, 2021 [7 favorites]
posted by thatwhichfalls at 8:18 PM on January 29, 2021 [7 favorites]
Dating you must be a challenge!
posted by hippybear at 8:30 PM on January 29, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by hippybear at 8:30 PM on January 29, 2021 [3 favorites]
Dear one remaining Blockbuster, this is your moment.
posted by mhoye at 8:47 PM on January 29, 2021 [26 favorites]
posted by mhoye at 8:47 PM on January 29, 2021 [26 favorites]
Nice. Gonna add that "bear going ape" to my growing library of mixed animal imagery, like "That cat's barking up the wrong tree," and "Stop horsing around!" (yelled at some dogs at the dog park).
posted by Corduroy at 9:11 PM on January 29, 2021 [15 favorites]
posted by Corduroy at 9:11 PM on January 29, 2021 [15 favorites]
Pfft! Unsung horror director William Girdler's Grizzly is "mediocre"! Dearest Peter Bradshaw, while you and I agree on Corman's Masque of the Red Death, on Grizzly I disagree strongly. Ridiculous... maybe. Dumb... most likely. Cheap... definitely. Mediocre? NEVER! Of the many Jaws "inspired" animals running amuck movies of the 70s (and there are many) Grizzly is pure entertainment. When it comes to bears running amuck? Only Frankeheimer's Prophecy comes within spitting distance of pure ursine (albeit rubbery) terror. True, it is no Roar but few films are.
Mediocre... the nerve of that guy.
Grizzly II on the other hand? Terrible. I'm with him on that one. The only things that are interesting in regards to that film are the soon to be stars and the story of the film's creation and subsequent decades later release. Otherwise, it is a snooze.
posted by Ashwagandha at 9:42 PM on January 29, 2021 [5 favorites]
Mediocre... the nerve of that guy.
Grizzly II on the other hand? Terrible. I'm with him on that one. The only things that are interesting in regards to that film are the soon to be stars and the story of the film's creation and subsequent decades later release. Otherwise, it is a snooze.
posted by Ashwagandha at 9:42 PM on January 29, 2021 [5 favorites]
37 years of legal wrangling
The bear had a big fuzzy clause in his contract, but den he caved.
posted by oulipian at 10:00 PM on January 29, 2021 [38 favorites]
The bear had a big fuzzy clause in his contract, but den he caved.
posted by oulipian at 10:00 PM on January 29, 2021 [38 favorites]
Grizzly II was abandoned after filming finished
Because the result was deemed unbearable. Hey, someone had to say it!
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:19 PM on January 29, 2021 [8 favorites]
Because the result was deemed unbearable. Hey, someone had to say it!
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:19 PM on January 29, 2021 [8 favorites]
And on reviewing the thread, it turned out somebody had...in the frikking post title. FML.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:22 PM on January 29, 2021 [21 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:22 PM on January 29, 2021 [21 favorites]
winning!
posted by clavdivs at 10:37 PM on January 29, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by clavdivs at 10:37 PM on January 29, 2021 [1 favorite]
The bear had a big fuzzy clause
Claws, surely
posted by Gorgik at 10:40 PM on January 29, 2021 [10 favorites]
Claws, surely
posted by Gorgik at 10:40 PM on January 29, 2021 [10 favorites]
Wow, so this would now be the earliest film appearance of Clooney, usurping the previous title Return of the Killer Tomatoes.
posted by FatherDagon at 11:20 PM on January 29, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by FatherDagon at 11:20 PM on January 29, 2021 [5 favorites]
Wait what why is the article acting like this is some sudden find of a lost movie? There was a full cut of it on youtube about 8-10 years ago. I know because I actually got really stoned one night and watched the entire thing and it was boring as fuck. They filmed everything around the actual grizzly bear itself and then ran out of money and abandoned it, so the result was like watching a Friday the 13th movie if every shot of Jason was edited out. I think the most you saw of the grizzly was its silhouette.
posted by mannequito at 11:40 PM on January 29, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by mannequito at 11:40 PM on January 29, 2021 [5 favorites]
I think the most you saw of the grizzly was its silhouette.
Bearly there, then?
posted by Chitownfats at 12:05 AM on January 30, 2021 [7 favorites]
Bearly there, then?
posted by Chitownfats at 12:05 AM on January 30, 2021 [7 favorites]
37 years of legal wrangling
So old and yet - ahem - bearly legal ...
posted by New Frontier at 1:24 AM on January 30, 2021 [11 favorites]
So old and yet - ahem - bearly legal ...
posted by New Frontier at 1:24 AM on January 30, 2021 [11 favorites]
And the Oscar goes to ... John Rhys-Davies as Meatloaf, for his delivery of the line "you got .... the Devil Bear"
(It's hilarious to me that this trailer touts the top name (now) actors (Dern, Clooney, Sheen) and then bearly shows them. I mean, I get it, but it's a bit of a honey pot.)
posted by chavenet at 2:30 AM on January 30, 2021 [4 favorites]
(It's hilarious to me that this trailer touts the top name (now) actors (Dern, Clooney, Sheen) and then bearly shows them. I mean, I get it, but it's a bit of a honey pot.)
posted by chavenet at 2:30 AM on January 30, 2021 [4 favorites]
I didn't want to believe that it was actually John Rhys-Davies, just some vaguely 80s guy who just looked uncannily like him, but no, that's really, really him.
Blanking on the guy they showed right before him, with that hair and that beard. Seriously, should've just given that guy a pair of mittens with cardboard claws taped on and said, eh, fuck it, you're the grizzly bear. Go get em! Rarrr!
posted by Ghidorah at 3:33 AM on January 30, 2021 [3 favorites]
Blanking on the guy they showed right before him, with that hair and that beard. Seriously, should've just given that guy a pair of mittens with cardboard claws taped on and said, eh, fuck it, you're the grizzly bear. Go get em! Rarrr!
posted by Ghidorah at 3:33 AM on January 30, 2021 [3 favorites]
"... the first three kids to be killed by the crazy grizzly are played by a big-haired, denim-clad George Clooney (22 years old), Laura Dern (16) and Charlie Sheen (18)."
Thread needs [spoiler] tag.
posted by jeremias at 4:21 AM on January 30, 2021 [1 favorite]
Thread needs [spoiler] tag.
posted by jeremias at 4:21 AM on January 30, 2021 [1 favorite]
Blanking on the guy they showed right before him, with that hair and that beard.
That person is best identified as Not Robert Foxworth.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 5:28 AM on January 30, 2021
That person is best identified as Not Robert Foxworth.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 5:28 AM on January 30, 2021
Louise Fletcher and Marc Alaimo are both in it?? Awesome. I'm just going to pretend this movie is called "Kai Winn and Gul Dukat, the early years."
posted by Avelwood at 5:28 AM on January 30, 2021 [16 favorites]
posted by Avelwood at 5:28 AM on January 30, 2021 [16 favorites]
A classic tale of man ursus nature.
posted by zamboni at 5:31 AM on January 30, 2021 [20 favorites]
posted by zamboni at 5:31 AM on January 30, 2021 [20 favorites]
I wonder how much they were paid.
Probably promised exposure. WHICH THEY'LL FINALLY GET!
posted by mazola at 7:08 AM on January 30, 2021 [11 favorites]
Probably promised exposure. WHICH THEY'LL FINALLY GET!
posted by mazola at 7:08 AM on January 30, 2021 [11 favorites]
There's an old joke about "That film was so bad. It wasn't released. It escaped!" Grizzly II sounds like that was literally true.
posted by jonp72 at 7:08 AM on January 30, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by jonp72 at 7:08 AM on January 30, 2021 [4 favorites]
The trailer gave me flashbacks.
When I saw All the President's Men in the theater (so apparently summer of 1976), there were three trailers that played before the movie started.
One was Grizzly, which made me reconsider ever going camping again, followed by Omen (or some similar horror movie), so now I'm really creeped out. The third was Midway, which I think was my first experience with Sensurround. It was LOUD. So now I was thoroughly prepared for the light entertainment of All the President's Men.
You may recall this movie started out with an extreme close up of typewriter keys hitting the page. I just about jumped out of my seat.
posted by MtDewd at 7:11 AM on January 30, 2021 [8 favorites]
When I saw All the President's Men in the theater (so apparently summer of 1976), there were three trailers that played before the movie started.
One was Grizzly, which made me reconsider ever going camping again, followed by Omen (or some similar horror movie), so now I'm really creeped out. The third was Midway, which I think was my first experience with Sensurround. It was LOUD. So now I was thoroughly prepared for the light entertainment of All the President's Men.
You may recall this movie started out with an extreme close up of typewriter keys hitting the page. I just about jumped out of my seat.
posted by MtDewd at 7:11 AM on January 30, 2021 [8 favorites]
So at least we get to see some stars before they were old and grizzled?
posted by leslies at 7:18 AM on January 30, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by leslies at 7:18 AM on January 30, 2021 [4 favorites]
a huge bear that goes ape....and conceives a murderous loathing for all humans strayingThe Not UnBearable Loathing of (Human) Beings
into its forest.
posted by otherchaz at 8:07 AM on January 30, 2021
For what it's worth, here's a furious YouTuber telling people to not support this movie because producer Suzanne Nagy behaved horribly toward fans after a work print of the film was illegally uploaded to the net in 2007. According to him, Nagy went overboard threatening to sue any reviewer who used Fair Use screenshots/clips from the film, and/or posted a negative review, and/or *commented* that they watched the work print at all. "Suzanne Nagy does not get to win here. You do not get to treat the fans like this and then have them come to support you. No."
posted by mediareport at 8:18 AM on January 30, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by mediareport at 8:18 AM on January 30, 2021 [5 favorites]
A giant enraged grizzly bear walks into a campground and roars “I’m going to...
KILL YOU ALL!”
Young George Clooney: “Why the big pause?”
Bear (looking at hands): “I dunno; I was born that way.”
posted by TedW at 8:54 AM on January 30, 2021 [22 favorites]
KILL YOU ALL!”
Young George Clooney: “Why the big pause?”
Bear (looking at hands): “I dunno; I was born that way.”
posted by TedW at 8:54 AM on January 30, 2021 [22 favorites]
more disclosure: Fully Bearded and Haired Dude is actor Steve Inwood, better known for his work in Staying Alive as the director of that timeless musical "Satan's Alley;" and Fame, playing the scummy faux-French "director" who manipulates Irene Cara's Coco into disrobing on camera (in what remains a quite disturbing scene).
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 10:01 AM on January 30, 2021
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 10:01 AM on January 30, 2021
That NYPost article ends with a sentence which is undoubtably true: The story behind “Grizzly 2” is probably better than the movie itself.
Too bad that Nagy decided to finish and release the film, and not a documentary about the entire fiasco of the film.
posted by ShooBoo at 11:06 AM on January 30, 2021 [3 favorites]
Too bad that Nagy decided to finish and release the film, and not a documentary about the entire fiasco of the film.
posted by ShooBoo at 11:06 AM on January 30, 2021 [3 favorites]
If you "liked" the original Grizzly, I recommend the director's follow-up Day of the Animals, which has the same lead actor and is shot in the same location, and features Leslie Nielsen in an amazing and hilarious turn as a raving psychopath. (Rifftrax also did pretty funny riffs on both of them.)
posted by Saxon Kane at 11:10 AM on January 30, 2021 [8 favorites]
posted by Saxon Kane at 11:10 AM on January 30, 2021 [8 favorites]
This bear, it’s like nothing you’ve ever gone after before.
posted by snofoam at 11:19 AM on January 30, 2021
posted by snofoam at 11:19 AM on January 30, 2021
Nice. Gonna add that "bear going ape" to my growing library of mixed animal imagery, like "That cat's barking up the wrong tree," and "Stop horsing around!" (yelled at some dogs at the dog park).
MetaFilter: There's something fishy about those cats
posted by The Bellman at 11:23 AM on January 30, 2021 [4 favorites]
MetaFilter: There's something fishy about those cats
posted by The Bellman at 11:23 AM on January 30, 2021 [4 favorites]
So at least we get to see some stars before they were old and grizzled?
I think you meant old and grizzlied, yes?
posted by Naberius at 12:17 PM on January 30, 2021 [1 favorite]
I think you meant old and grizzlied, yes?
posted by Naberius at 12:17 PM on January 30, 2021 [1 favorite]
That NYPost article ends with a sentence which is undoubtably true: The story behind “Grizzly 2” is probably better than the movie itself.
That article is quite amazing. Evidently, Charlie Sheen turned down the role in the Karate Kid so that he could appear in Grizzly 2. And after reading between the lines, I'm thinking George Clooney and Laura Dern totally did it.
posted by jonp72 at 12:31 PM on January 30, 2021 [3 favorites]
That article is quite amazing. Evidently, Charlie Sheen turned down the role in the Karate Kid so that he could appear in Grizzly 2. And after reading between the lines, I'm thinking George Clooney and Laura Dern totally did it.
posted by jonp72 at 12:31 PM on January 30, 2021 [3 favorites]
I think I'll wait for what-sounds-like the 30 seconds or so of said actors' appearances in the film to be uploaded to YouTube.
posted by gtrwolf at 2:39 PM on January 30, 2021
posted by gtrwolf at 2:39 PM on January 30, 2021
Can we please get a special joint co-hosted version of USA Up All-Night for this thing? It really looks like it could use the pelting.
posted by Ignorantsavage at 3:45 PM on January 30, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by Ignorantsavage at 3:45 PM on January 30, 2021 [3 favorites]
If you had to wait 37 years for release, you'd be Grizzly II.
posted by Calvin and the Duplicators at 4:09 PM on January 30, 2021 [7 favorites]
posted by Calvin and the Duplicators at 4:09 PM on January 30, 2021 [7 favorites]
If you had to wait 37 years for release, you'd be Grizzly II.
And my mother would oh, so so so tired.
posted by hippybear at 9:06 PM on January 30, 2021
And my mother would oh, so so so tired.
posted by hippybear at 9:06 PM on January 30, 2021
something something joke about "well that bear sure shits in the woods"
posted by Saxon Kane at 6:33 PM on January 31, 2021
posted by Saxon Kane at 6:33 PM on January 31, 2021
Oh, and a sad footnote to this whole story that shouldn't be forgotten: the director of Grizzly, William Girdler, was not involved in the sequel because (according to the Wikipedia) he died in a helicopter crash in the Philippines. He was only 30 but had made 9 films in 6 years, and he was location scouting for his 10th film.
.
posted by Saxon Kane at 3:52 PM on February 1, 2021
.
posted by Saxon Kane at 3:52 PM on February 1, 2021
The third was Midway, which I think was my first experience with Sensurround.
Yes, but have you experienced Feel-Around?
posted by kirkaracha at 7:15 PM on February 1, 2021 [2 favorites]
Yes, but have you experienced Feel-Around?
posted by kirkaracha at 7:15 PM on February 1, 2021 [2 favorites]
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posted by JHarris at 8:11 PM on January 29, 2021 [8 favorites]