The Prestige
October 15, 2021 6:56 AM   Subscribe

 
I endorse this practice. It's just a PG-rated trailer for a mainstream Hollywood drama. But yeah.
posted by straight at 7:06 AM on October 15, 2021 [1 favorite]


@daveweigel
Thinking of an alternate universe where Ridley Scott used Dick's original title, and Ryan Gosling went on to star in "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? 2049"
posted by little onion at 7:12 AM on October 15, 2021 [5 favorites]


Disappointed that they missed a genuine opportunity to re-use the phrase "Time Is A Flat Fucking Circle".
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 7:18 AM on October 15, 2021


Oh, my goodness.

I'd like to thank this comment section for not spoiling the title for me before I watched this, not even to the extent of hinting at the... thing, you know, the thingness of it. Let's keep the secret for all the ones who come after.
posted by MiraK at 7:28 AM on October 15, 2021 [13 favorites]


It feels like there's a reference or a joke in here somewhere, but I don't understand what it is. I just see a movie trailer.

I feel like there's an emerging micro-genre of "near-future downbeat sci-fi romance" movies. Like, movies that use sci-fi tropes to explore romantic involvements, particularly the ones that don't work out the way we'd like – heartbreak, unrequited love, etc. "Her" is the main one that comes to mind, but I'm sure there've been others.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 7:28 AM on October 15, 2021 [9 favorites]


I repeat what I said on Twitter: the only possible good resolution of this is if the woman in question gets tired of being treated like a trophy and fixes time so she never meets either of these two dinguses.
posted by emjaybee at 7:29 AM on October 15, 2021 [86 favorites]


A Lifetime/Time-Life Films co-production
posted by rollick at 7:31 AM on October 15, 2021 [12 favorites]


Count me among those who don't get this. Is the title supposed to be hilariously bad? Is it supposed to be great? Are we not supposed to know it when watching the trailer because it would take away the mystery? Is the trailer being put up for ridicule or do people find it genuinely compelling? I'm so confused.
posted by treepour at 7:38 AM on October 15, 2021 [21 favorites]


My favorite twitter comment, which I can no longer find, is that this sounds exactly like a movie that was written based on a no-context title created on a whim by Jack Donaghy.
posted by saladin at 7:38 AM on October 15, 2021 [31 favorites]


I feel like there's an emerging micro-genre of "near-future downbeat sci-fi romance" movies.

Safety Not Guaranteed is another one. And of course The Time Traveler's Wife.

There are probably a hundred different titles that would've fit the tone the movie is going for better than what they chose [fn1]. On the other hand, if, as emjaybee suggests, the movie is really "two guys using time travel to fight over a woman with no agency in the matter", it's probably the title it deserves.

[fn1]: My understanding is that the title comes from the story the movie is based on. But c'mon, would it have been a good idea, as mentioned above, to keep the original title for Blade Runner? Or Total Recall, for that matter? This is one of those times when reverence for the source material can lead you astray.
posted by Cash4Lead at 7:42 AM on October 15, 2021 [3 favorites]


> Is the title supposed to be hilariously bad?

I found it hilariously bad, or at least hilariously jarring compared to the tone of the rest of the trailer.
posted by mbrubeck at 7:44 AM on October 15, 2021 [9 favorites]


Sounds like a Star Trek: Lower Decks episode title.
posted by CheesesOfBrazil at 7:48 AM on October 15, 2021 [7 favorites]


I love the pitches for alternate titles a couple of tweets down
posted by JDHarper at 7:48 AM on October 15, 2021 [2 favorites]


... I know, I know, it's serious.
posted by eschatfische at 7:50 AM on October 15, 2021 [24 favorites]


Yeah, it's a pretty dumb title. Is that the point of the post?
posted by escape from the potato planet at 7:56 AM on October 15, 2021 [2 favorites]


The Time Traveler’s Ex-Wife
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:04 AM on October 15, 2021 [24 favorites]


It's based on a 1960s short story of the same name. I assume they couldn't change it or else they'd lose millions of guaranteed ticket sales from rabid Robert Silverberg fans.
posted by theodolite at 8:07 AM on October 15, 2021 [49 favorites]


I like sci-fi, I like melodrama, I like John Ridley, I like Leslie Odom, I like Cynthia Erivo.

Y'all can pound sand, this looks great.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:08 AM on October 15, 2021 [16 favorites]


It's weird how these movies about rich people manage to appear so cheap.

Also I just can't bring myself to care about sad rich people.
posted by backlikeclap at 8:09 AM on October 15, 2021 [8 favorites]


How did they not name this Nick of Time? THE GUY'S NAME IS LITERALLY NICK.
posted by mittens at 8:10 AM on October 15, 2021 [53 favorites]


Yeah I'm not really getting the framing of this post, or rather, the framing of the original Tweet. Also, the title of the movie is listed in large, friendly letters just underneath the video so, uh, kinda pointless to pretend that I don't know what the title is?

minor derail: I've never seen or read The Time Traveler's Wife because the premise sounds super fucking creepy -- an adult male traveling in time to groom his wife from childhood to adulthood? Is it really as squicky as it sounds?
posted by Saxon Kane at 8:10 AM on October 15, 2021 [20 favorites]


How did they not name this Nick of Time?

Because, even with this cast, they probably didn't want people confusing it with an old Johnny Depp movie?
posted by hanov3r at 8:13 AM on October 15, 2021 [6 favorites]


The title is right in the box, immediately under the trailer that's linked, so the whole thing seems moot. Honestly, though, its pretty moot knowing it as well. I'm with Saxon Kane, above, I don't see the point of the exercise in the framing of the FPP or the trailer.
posted by biffa at 8:16 AM on October 15, 2021


ticket sales from rabid Robert Silverberg fans.

Robert Silverberg fans are not rabid.

Some of them.

Just sayin'.
posted by mule98J at 8:17 AM on October 15, 2021 [2 favorites]


The 30-Rockification of the title made the framing work for me. As did the alternate title suggestion "CLOCKBLOCK"
posted by ook at 8:19 AM on October 15, 2021 [39 favorites]


The Grauniad is on it: Is that title the most brilliantly bad film title ever? The Rotten Tomatoes score is only 50%, so that's bad. But all the critic blurbs dunking on the title is kinda funny.

(This discussion would be a lot more fun if we could just use the words in the title here. So far no one has done that, but that seems like a pretty wobbly no-spoilers leg to stand on.)
posted by Nelson at 8:24 AM on October 15, 2021 [2 favorites]


As did the alternate title suggestion "CLOCKBLOCK"

OMG I had to cover my mouth like a hapless howler monkey not to frighten the rest of the house.

I feel like there's an emerging micro-genre of "near-future downbeat sci-fi romance" movies. Like, movies that use sci-fi tropes to explore romantic involvements, particularly the ones that don't work out the way we'd like – heartbreak, unrequited love, etc.

Eternal Sunshine doesn't involve time travel but it otherwise checks the boxes here.
posted by Jpfed at 8:31 AM on October 15, 2021 [6 favorites]


I guess the title is a little clunky but I don't get the whole hubbub about it.
posted by octothorpe at 8:32 AM on October 15, 2021 [2 favorites]


A. I managed to avoid seeing the title. I was pretty sure it would be evident "right in the box" so I immediately expanded the window to full screen. Problem solved.

B. I'm coming to really appreciate certain kinds of confusion, so thanks for this post.

C. Based on the images and music and overall profound sobriety of mood put forth in this trailer (and long before I saw the title) I can confidently claim I am not in this movie's target market.
posted by philip-random at 8:34 AM on October 15, 2021 [3 favorites]


Yeah around 1:40 in the trailer I thought the title would be "Clockblocked".

I'm glad Leslie Odom, Jr. is getting film work! I hope lots of the other Hamilton folks are getting gigs too.

Maybe the twist is in a post-credits scene where it's revealed that all the characters we've seen have been intricately manipulated to steal our protagonist away from Janine and into the arms of a heretofore unseen woman. Scene: a wedding. Pan from the happy attendees to the groom, then the officiant, then, as the camera falls on his bride, we hear the officiant say:

"Nicholas.... and Peggy."
posted by brainwane at 8:42 AM on October 15, 2021 [9 favorites]


A few posts down - I've Come Here to Kick Ass and Chew Flies, and I'm All Out of Flies - there is a trailer that at least kept my interest unlike this one. And here’s the title - Hell Comes to Frogtown. Yes, another bad film, probably good bad, maybe mildly entertaining bad, or a few drinks or puffs makes less bad film, but honestly bad unlike this film.

I assume the unnamed film in this post is being marketed to adults, so what does that say about adults these days?
posted by njohnson23 at 8:57 AM on October 15, 2021 [2 favorites]


My favorite twitter comment, which I can no longer find, is that this sounds exactly like a movie that was written based on a no-context title created on a whim by Jack Donaghy.

Is this the thing you're referring to? Either way, I think it's a fantastic comment.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:01 AM on October 15, 2021 [1 favorite]


Why'd you have to go and title the post "The Prestige?" I just rewatched it and The Illusionist a week ago and now I want to do it again for some strange reason.
posted by wierdo at 9:06 AM on October 15, 2021 [3 favorites]


My candidates for the most gooftroop movie and tv show names of all time:

Money Heist
We Bought a Zoo
The Shawshank Redemption
Time Cop
And a worthy new contender, Needle in a Timestack


But seriously.... fucking Money Heist?
posted by cubeb at 9:07 AM on October 15, 2021 [12 favorites]


I've been re-watching Person of Interest recently (what a great show!) and it was such a lovely treat to see Leslie Odom Jr in there as a major character for a couple of seasons. I hadn't known him back when it first aired and now it was like ohhhhh so THAT's why Aaron Burr looked so familiar to me!
posted by MiraK at 9:07 AM on October 15, 2021 [8 favorites]


Count me among those who don't get this.
Agreed. Is this a title we're supposed to recognize? It it a reference to something? Is this the sort of thing I'd need less facial blindness to understand? It looks like a film I might want to see, with caveats, assuming it's a real film and not just a joke that I don't understand. I'm happy to know about it, assuming it's real.
posted by eotvos at 9:08 AM on October 15, 2021 [3 favorites]


wierdo there is never a bad reason to rewatch The Prestige, my friend, go with god.
posted by MiraK at 9:11 AM on October 15, 2021 [1 favorite]


Eternal Sunshine doesn't involve time travel but it otherwise checks the boxes here.

That title's okay though because it's from a poem. By Pope Alexander.
posted by mochapickle at 9:14 AM on October 15, 2021 [4 favorites]


The joke is the contrast between what looks like a reasonably competent and somber-toned film and the completely goofy title. I didn't find it as funny as some but I did laugh.
posted by praemunire at 9:17 AM on October 15, 2021 [8 favorites]


Nelson: It's the Guardian. Again.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 9:18 AM on October 15, 2021 [1 favorite]


But seriously.... fucking Money Heist?

Right? Especially since the show already has a perfectly good Spanish title, La Casa de Papel. If you don't want to translate it to House of Paper, which would be fine, just leave it! Those are extremely easy Spanish words! Everyone knows what casa means, and they can probably guess at papel!
posted by Ragged Richard at 9:20 AM on October 15, 2021 [3 favorites]


Money Heist is great because American movie titles are always getting translated from like Naked Gun to the local equivalent of Wow, This Is One Crazy Cop and it's about time we get it going the other way.
posted by theodolite at 9:24 AM on October 15, 2021 [33 favorites]


The joke is the contrast between what looks like a reasonably competent and somber-toned film and the completely goofy title. I didn't find it as funny as some but I did laugh.

This was exactly my experience.
posted by AgentRocket at 9:25 AM on October 15, 2021 [3 favorites]


I used to work as a writer in entertainment advertising and one of the most thankless parts of the job was a retitling exercise, because you're literally tasked with coming up with hundreds of alt titles and 99% of the time, the studio keeps the original. It's like renaming someone else's baby. No matter how bad the original name is, that's what everyone is used to.
posted by roger ackroyd at 9:27 AM on October 15, 2021 [6 favorites]


Count me among those who don't get this.

"Like seeing the trailer for Dune and at the end it says in giant 60pt font "THE EARLY BIRD GETS THE SANDWORM"" (tweet)
posted by BungaDunga at 9:29 AM on October 15, 2021 [51 favorites]


"Nick's future ex-wife"
"Primer Two-timer"
"Time Enough for Love" (oops, already taken)
posted by adamrice at 9:31 AM on October 15, 2021 [2 favorites]


Right? Especially since the show already has a perfectly good Spanish title, La Casa de Papel.

I swear I saw it listed with the Spanish title on my (US, English) Netflix account within the past week or two, so maybe they are doing some A/B testing? I know they do that often with the images they use for each show/movie. I wish I took a screenshot to prove I wasn't hallucinating.
posted by Rock Steady at 9:35 AM on October 15, 2021


I feel like there's an emerging micro-genre of "near-future downbeat sci-fi romance" movies.

It's always been a thing. The Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind is almost 20. The Fountain is 2006. Superman is 1978.
posted by bonehead at 9:39 AM on October 15, 2021


But seriously.... fucking Money Heist?

I really enjoy things that are named in ways that imply the existence of other more nonsensical things.

I've never been particularly interested in watching Money Heist. But I'm absolutely down to watch Whole Truckload Of Solo Cups Heist.

Similarly, the urinal at work has the Zurn Aqua-Flush on it. Which... yes, that is how things flush. I would kinda like to see the Zurn Red Hot Lava Flush or the Zurn Blood Of The Innocent Flush or Zurn Endless Stream Of Tiny Little Rubber Chickens So Small They Flow Like A Liquid But Still Audibly Honk Flush though.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 9:40 AM on October 15, 2021 [25 favorites]


It could well be big think idea was "let's name this movie something really stupid so people will actually talk about it online"

It could also well be that hollywood is already eating its own ass

(* in the ouborous sense; not kink-shaming)
posted by seanmpuckett at 9:45 AM on October 15, 2021 [2 favorites]


From the article Nelson linked:

What’s more, it is a trailer for a film that comes out today. An entire film by 12 Years a Slave screenwriter John Ridley was written, cast, shot and edited, and the sum total of its publicity campaign is a single trailer squeezed out just hours before the movie itself

This seems really strange - does this happen for other movies? I wonder if their normal marketing plans were disrupted by the pandemic. It just seems like a decent movie with high-profile actors, so I’m surprised that this is the publicity approach.
posted by chaiyai at 9:51 AM on October 15, 2021 [4 favorites]


> "Thinking of an alternate universe where Ridley Scott used Dick's original title, and Ryan Gosling went on to star in 'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? 2049'"

On the other hand, I always thought Bladerunner was a dumb name. What the heck does running blades have to do with hunting androids? It sounds like someone said, "Hmm, that original title is too long and a little clunky. Instead, let's call it... Knifey Guy!" "Wait, is there anything whatsoever in the movie that relates to -" "KNIFEY GUY KNIFEY GUY KNIFEY GUY!!!" and everyone else just had to go along with it.

In terms of the trailer in this post, from the framing I assumed it would turn out to be an adaptation of some title I would recognize, so I was trying to guess what it might be, and when the title finally came up I just shrugged and felt a little bit perplexed.
posted by kyrademon at 9:54 AM on October 15, 2021 [5 favorites]


It's really hard for movies to get noticed so giving it a silly name will at least get people to share the trailer.
posted by bleep at 9:58 AM on October 15, 2021


welp i guess this is the reboot of Doctor Who that 2021 deserves, really
posted by phooky at 10:01 AM on October 15, 2021


But seriously.... fucking Money Heist?

Maybe they didn't want viewers to expect a jewel-heist movie and be disappointed.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:01 AM on October 15, 2021 [3 favorites]


(All that having been said, the title of the movie in the trailer is a pretty bad title. I can totally see why it was a reasonably decent title for a silver age SF short story, why it hasn't aged all that well, and why it particularly doesn't work for a Serious Movie.)
posted by kyrademon at 10:01 AM on October 15, 2021 [5 favorites]


Doctor Love in the Multiverse of Madness
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:02 AM on October 15, 2021 [3 favorites]


An entire film by 12 Years a Slave screenwriter John Ridley was written, cast, shot and edited, and the sum total of its publicity campaign is a single trailer squeezed out just hours before the movie itself

That seems just one step removed from "Directed by Alan Smithee".
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:02 AM on October 15, 2021 [1 favorite]


But I'm absolutely down to watch Whole Truckload Of Solo Cups Heist.

This is almost a Reservation Dogs episode.
posted by thivaia at 10:07 AM on October 15, 2021 [7 favorites]


The good thing about the title is it maps perfectly to the tune of "Mirror in the Bathroom."
posted by emjaybee at 10:10 AM on October 15, 2021 [3 favorites]


I mean in addition to the name, the whole conceit of this movie becomes goofy as fuck because the tone of the trailer is just deadly, deadly serious. Leslie Odom is in there trying SUPER hard with this material, while Cynthia Erivo is stuck standing there just... being cradled and smooched or whatever

The whole thing is like that compilation of Harrison Ford shouting "My WIFE! My FAMILY!"
posted by cubeb at 10:14 AM on October 15, 2021 [4 favorites]


Once upon a time in high school, in a private moment of misguided juvenile humour,
I wrote down the words
BLACK TO THE FUTURE
in the margins of a sheet of notebook paper.
posted by Verg at 10:16 AM on October 15, 2021 [8 favorites]


An entire film by 12 Years a Slave screenwriter John Ridley was written, cast, shot and edited, and the sum total of its publicity campaign is a single trailer squeezed out just hours before the movie itself

In the days of yore, you knew a movie was bad when you read in the newspaper "This film was not screened for critics". Today I guess the equivalent would be "This film made only a perfunctory attempt to generate buzz on social media".
posted by Cash4Lead at 10:22 AM on October 15, 2021 [4 favorites]


In defense of the post, I watched it without having seen the title and the combination of the serious tone and the way that the premise becomes increasingly more ridiculous while maintaining that utterly straight-faced tone, the title was a punchline that gave me the best to laugh I've had for a little while. I even considered posting it here but I couldn't figure out how to do it in a way that the title wouldn't be immediately in your face.
posted by straight at 10:24 AM on October 15, 2021 [11 favorites]


And the way it's pitched as a beautiful love story, but the plot of the trailer is "The bad guy stole my stuff and replaced it with some other stuff I didn't want. I loved that stuff! It's MINE! I'm getting my stuff back!"
posted by straight at 10:27 AM on October 15, 2021 [12 favorites]


"But everywhen I look I keep finding the wrong stuff! It's like searching for a..."
posted by straight at 10:31 AM on October 15, 2021 [13 favorites]


Brought to you by the executives behind Milf Island
posted by bxvr at 10:39 AM on October 15, 2021 [6 favorites]


Bro Time To Wife
posted by chavenet at 10:43 AM on October 15, 2021 [5 favorites]


My candidates for the most gooftroop movie and tv show names of all time:

Money Heist
We Bought a Zoo
The Shawshank Redemption
Time Cop
And a worthy new contender, Needle in a Timestack


I cannot BELIEVE you left off Snakes on a Plane.
posted by Mayor West at 10:45 AM on October 15, 2021 [3 favorites]


It's no The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.
posted by AndrewInDC at 10:49 AM on October 15, 2021 [6 favorites]


Money Heist is great because American movie titles are always getting translated from like Naked Gun to the local equivalent of Wow, This Is One Crazy Cop and it's about time we get it going the other way.

The Colombian version of Breaking Bad (basically a shot-for-shot remake) was called Metástasis, which makes a heck of a lot more sense as a title.
posted by dephlogisticated at 10:52 AM on October 15, 2021 [10 favorites]


Death Bed: The Bed That Eats People
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 11:05 AM on October 15, 2021 [2 favorites]


It's A Wonderful Wife
Quantum Creep
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 11:08 AM on October 15, 2021 [16 favorites]


On the other hand, I always thought Bladerunner was a dumb name. What the heck does running blades have to do with hunting androids?

It's worse than that—the title The Bladerunner came from an unproduced, unrelated screen adaptation of an Alan Nourse novel of the same name where the title actually made sense (a bladerunner was someone who smuggled medical supplies).
posted by The Tensor at 11:08 AM on October 15, 2021 [4 favorites]


... single trailer squeezed out just hours before the movie itself
This seems really strange - does this happen for other movies?
The Cloverfield Paradox trailer ran during the Super Owl in 2018 and was released that evening on Netflix. It's widely speculated that this was to get as many viewers as possible before word of mouth got out about how dreadful it was.
posted by sjswitzer at 11:10 AM on October 15, 2021


How did I miss the Super Owl in 2018? I love owls.
posted by Ashwagandha at 11:23 AM on October 15, 2021 [4 favorites]


The Time Traveler’s Ex-Wife

The Time Traveler's Past and Future Ex-Wife
posted by nubs at 11:27 AM on October 15, 2021 [3 favorites]


Maybe they didn't want viewers to expect a jewel-heist movie and be disappointed.

There is actually a reasonably delightful 1930s movie called Jewel Robbery starring the sadly forgotten Kay Francis. The kind of film you'd program with The Thin Man for New Year's Eve viewing.

BLACK TO THE FUTURE

BLACK BY POPULAR DEMAND was a very popular T-shirt logo when/where I was growing up. I always liked it.
posted by praemunire at 11:34 AM on October 15, 2021 [5 favorites]


(Meet The) Time Fockers
posted by AndrewInDC at 11:42 AM on October 15, 2021 [4 favorites]


Time Out New Wife
posted by praemunire at 11:50 AM on October 15, 2021 [1 favorite]


Dude, Where's My Wife
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:53 AM on October 15, 2021 [16 favorites]


I got off work early and have now started to watch this movie.

7 minutes in, the two protagonists have attended a lavish party thrown by their very rich friends, and on the bus back home - to their extremely lavish home, so the bus makes little sense - anyway, on the bus is a most dramatic and tension-filled moment when the wife announces that their rich friends are getting a divorce, and Leslie Odom Jr. is like, "No! But they just threw that big party!" in a scandalized tone of voice. Every shot and line of dialog in the movie so far is "look how rich these people are" and "aww these two really love each other and nothing as scandalous and wrong as a divorce would ever happen to them".

Anyway I can definitively say rn that the genre of this movie is more So Bad It's Good than Time Travel Hijinks.
posted by MiraK at 11:59 AM on October 15, 2021 [4 favorites]


Heat 2: Antarctican Heist
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 11:59 AM on October 15, 2021


I'm starting to get this and the Hell Comes To Frogtown threads mixed up in my head, with really bizarre results.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:03 PM on October 15, 2021 [4 favorites]


Frogs In Timestack Hell
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:03 PM on October 15, 2021 [2 favorites]


>>Dude, Where's My Wife

Dude, When's My Wife
posted by mochapickle at 12:06 PM on October 15, 2021 [39 favorites]


>My candidates for the most gooftroop movie and tv show names of all time:

>Money Heist
>We Bought a Zoo
>The Shawshank Redemption
>Time Cop
>And a worthy new contender, Needle in a Timestack

I cannot BELIEVE you left off Snakes on a Plane.


Man, y'all leaving Hot Tub Time Machine on the table like that.
posted by hanov3r at 12:08 PM on October 15, 2021 [4 favorites]


Also, what is that music in the trailer? If you watch it more than once it starts to seem like a parody of dramatic trailer music, the way it keeps going back and forth between silence and then coming right back in with those same four notes again over and over.
posted by straight at 12:12 PM on October 15, 2021 [4 favorites]


EX-When: Dazed of Future Past
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:14 PM on October 15, 2021 [2 favorites]


Hot Tub Time Machine might be a terrible movie but it is not a terrible title and is an awfully good fit for the tone of the movie itself.
posted by straight at 12:14 PM on October 15, 2021 [5 favorites]


Look, SNAKES ON A PLANE and HOT TUB TIME MACHINE are simply bald statements of their bizarre premise and as such they're eminently worthy of our respect.

It's the terrible puns that deserve mockery.
posted by MiraK at 12:16 PM on October 15, 2021 [5 favorites]


Okay, I've changed my mind. Whoever decided to use that title is a genius, because otherwise I never would have even heard of this movie. And now I've been thinking about it all morning and I kind of desperately want to see it now?
posted by mochapickle at 12:18 PM on October 15, 2021 [3 favorites]


Time Chasers 2: Wife Chasers Too
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 12:25 PM on October 15, 2021 [1 favorite]


The Past And The Spurious
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:29 PM on October 15, 2021 [9 favorites]


Traveling Through Time to Steal Another Man’s Wife Because You Used to be Married to Her and You Never Got Over Her, Probably Because She Dumped Your Ass When She Realized You Were the Kind of Dude Who’d Pull a Stunt Like This
posted by gottabefunky at 12:36 PM on October 15, 2021 [10 favorites]


I'm 30 minutes in and folks it is VERY DIFFICULT to root for this couple, they are the worst and, like, even if they get therapy (which of course they won't) I just pity the therapist who has to deal with them. FWIW the wife is soooooooooo much worse than the Leslie Odom Jr character, she's legit gaslighting him. Screw her!

Also it's a time travel movie that's refusing to explain ANY of the rules of time travel so screw everyone who is telling this story!
posted by MiraK at 12:40 PM on October 15, 2021 [19 favorites]


Traveling Through Time to Steal Another Man’s Wife Because You Used to be Married to Her and You Never Got Over Her, Probably Because She Dumped Your Ass When She Realized You Were the Kind of Dude Who’d Pull a Stunt Like This

We're gonna need a bigger boat marquee...
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:42 PM on October 15, 2021 [1 favorite]


Hot Tub Time Machine might be a terrible movie but it is not a terrible title and is an awfully good fit for the tone of the movie itself.

I hold that it is a delightful dumb comedy right up until the moment a character looks at the camera and portentously says, "It's a hot tub time machine." After that, it has no reason to continue.
posted by HeroZero at 12:51 PM on October 15, 2021 [1 favorite]


MiraK, if you prefer explicitly explained rigorous time travel rules in your films, I advise you not to watch A New York Christmas Wedding which has inadequately explained and illogical time travel, alternate universes, and theology. And an angel. But there is a New York wedding at Christmas!

gottabefunky: Once you add a few more words to the start you have a Chuck Tingle story title!
posted by brainwane at 12:52 PM on October 15, 2021 [1 favorite]


Don't Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood gave the theater marquee people quite a bit of difficulty.
posted by wierdo at 12:55 PM on October 15, 2021 [2 favorites]


I need a *little* explanation, damn it, like they're telling me it's against the law to change anyone else's timeline but also there's no official Time Authority keeping track of the Sacred Timeline, and everyone seems to forget their alternate timeline almost immediately after it's changed, so what is that law even about?

Ooooh maybe it's a damning critique of capitalism where laws exist in name to protect us from our corporate overlords but are in reality completely useless oh that is genius.
posted by MiraK at 12:57 PM on October 15, 2021 [7 favorites]


Hot Mess Time Machine
posted by dephlogisticated at 12:59 PM on October 15, 2021 [16 favorites]


My Boyfriend's Back to the Future
posted by AndrewInDC at 1:00 PM on October 15, 2021 [7 favorites]


Tracy: "Liz Lemon, this stolen wife scenario reminds me of that time travel movie I was in! Needle in a Timestack!"
*cutaway*
"HOW AM I EVER GONNA FIND MY WIFE, WHEN THERE'S SO MANY NEEDLES? AND SO FEW STACKS OF TIME?"
source
posted by furtive at 1:03 PM on October 15, 2021 [9 favorites]


Oooh this movie just took a turn in an unexpected direction. I have a new guess about who the real bad guy is. This is getting interesting.

PS: HOT MESS TIME MACHINE is my new fave thank you for that title
posted by MiraK at 1:04 PM on October 15, 2021 [9 favorites]


> "it's against the law to change anyone else's timeline but ... everyone seems to forget their alternate timeline almost immediately"

That's just asking for time traveling jokers to screw around.

"Listen, citizens -- it is against the law to change the timeline!"

*RECORD SCRATCH*

"Listen, citizens -- it is against the law not to change the timeline!"

*RECORD SCRATCH*

"Our God Emperor Dave says that no one can mess with God Emperor Dave's timel --"

*RECORD SCRATCH*

"... Council of Timekeepers desperately begs you all to --

*RECORD SCRATCH*

"... tizens, it is against the law not to snuggle all koalas --"
posted by kyrademon at 1:18 PM on October 15, 2021 [7 favorites]


I've been thinking on this title, and I think they should just retitle it Edge of Tomorrow.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:20 PM on October 15, 2021 [6 favorites]


Jesus Christ that whole turn in the direction of interesting was only "men deciding to divvy up the women" but just a different way this time. Ugh. Sorry if I gave anybody here hope for the future (ha ha) of this movie, it's right back to being terrible.
posted by MiraK at 1:29 PM on October 15, 2021 [11 favorites]


Can we talk about how awful Orlando Bloom's accent is? Is that meant to be Australian??
posted by horopter at 1:38 PM on October 15, 2021 [1 favorite]


Thanks for taking one for the team, MiraK!
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:38 PM on October 15, 2021 [12 favorites]


I skipped to the end and yeah this movie's like 3/10. The best thing about it is also the most irritating thing about it: all the gorgeous rich people house interiors. I am seized with a desire to do redesigns I can't afford. The end.
posted by MiraK at 1:38 PM on October 15, 2021 [17 favorites]


GCU Sweet and Full of Grace, your comment earlier about names for flushing mechanisms made me laugh out loud. Which was most welcome because I’ve had a shit stain of a day. Job well done and thank you.
posted by Bella Donna at 1:39 PM on October 15, 2021 [1 favorite]


I've been thinking on this title, and I think they should just retitle it Edge of Tomorrow.
TIMESTACK. NEEDLE. FIND.

All You Need is "Mine."
posted by straight at 2:16 PM on October 15, 2021


Those poor women.

My title suggestion is Time Ex
posted by Chrysopoeia at 2:23 PM on October 15, 2021 [3 favorites]


I feel like there's an emerging micro-genre of "near-future downbeat sci-fi romance" movies.

Sliding Doors (1998)?

But seriously.... fucking Money Heist?

Money Heist is a perfect title. What kind of a movie it? It's a heist movie. Oh, what are they heisting, diamonds? No, money.

It's the greatest example of a perfectly descriptive title since salt link, where the ingredients and directions are in the name. What is it? It's salt. What do you do with it? You lick it.

I would kinda like to see the Zurn Red Hot Lava Flush

Zurn and Burn
posted by kirkaracha at 2:24 PM on October 15, 2021 [3 favorites]


emjaybee's comment reminds that, about five years ago, I watched About Time, got to the scene where (spoiler!) the protagonist finished rewinding his sister's wreck and arrives late to his date, only to see that his former girlfriend, now having never met him, is leaving the restaurant, laughing, with some other guy, then goes back in time to prevent that. And we, the audience, are meant to gloss over that but I was sitting there like "What? No. No. Excuse the fuck out of you, no. She was happy. It doesn't matter that you think the other guy was a jackass--or that I do too--she was happy with him and that is not your decision to make." And I wrote an entire novel which was basically Sleeping with the Enemy crossed with Groundhog Day, or Kindred if the protagonist weren't compassionate and well-adjusted but deeply traumatized, the sort of person who'd say "You do not get close to me, betray my agency like that, and get away with it; I will chew off my own leg to be free of this goddam trap, and clearly I cannot trust you so now I will burn down your house, your life, and everything you ever loved and make smores over the last dying ember."

Then I set it aside for a few months, as authors sometimes recommend, and found that the book I wrote was boring as fuck and I hated it. I didn't care about the characters and so I couldn't care about the plot, and there's the germ of a good idea there but I am not person to write it.

Agency in time travel stories is hugely complicated, and generally overlooked.
posted by johnofjack at 2:38 PM on October 15, 2021 [12 favorites]


My title suggestion is Time Ex

Comes with a built-in product-placement opportunity, with the rich people ostentatiously flaunting their fancy watches!
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:00 PM on October 15, 2021 [1 favorite]


"Takes a time-jump licking and keeps on ticking!"
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:01 PM on October 15, 2021 [1 favorite]


Can we talk about how awful Orlando Bloom's accent is?

FTFY
posted by dobbs at 3:05 PM on October 15, 2021


This has a late 70s, early 80s Powerful Human Drama With Serious Emotions And Muted Tones vibe to it; with time travel.

WTF!?
posted by Phlegmco(tm) at 3:12 PM on October 15, 2021


.... the transit nerd in me is trying to reconcile the Mark III in the exterior, establishing shot with the Mark II interior.

I would watch this movie just to see how much Vancouver is in it.
posted by invokeuse at 3:16 PM on October 15, 2021 [2 favorites]


Take Me Home Tenet
Crazy, Stupid, Time Machine
Ten Things I Hate About 11 Minutes Ago
500 Years of Summer
posted by Mister Moofoo at 4:31 PM on October 15, 2021 [7 favorites]


100 Lost Dates
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:49 PM on October 15, 2021 [3 favorites]


Aaron Burr and Legolas Face The Music
posted by mochapickle at 5:05 PM on October 15, 2021 [6 favorites]


Two Guys, A Girl, and a Time Portal
Doctor Woo
When Harry Would Have Met Sally
posted by dannyboybell at 5:07 PM on October 15, 2021 [7 favorites]


Safety Not Guaranteed is another one. And of course The Time Traveler's Wife.
The trailer made me think of Somewhere in Time, which has always had a treasured place in my heart.

On the other hand, my secret desire is that she just tells them both to get lost.
posted by Flight Hardware, do not touch at 6:16 PM on October 15, 2021


I like the title, it's not focus grouped to death.
posted by subdee at 7:02 PM on October 15, 2021 [1 favorite]


The trailer on the other hand, is bland homogenous mass-market stuff.
posted by subdee at 7:04 PM on October 15, 2021


Hot Tub Focus Group
posted by Mister Moofoo at 7:19 PM on October 15, 2021 [7 favorites]


I'm imagining what title this film would have if it did the same thing that "Gilmore Girls" did with its episode "Nag Hammadi Is Where They Found the Gnostic Gospels" - using the title as a sort of IMDb trivia item to help you unlock an obscure tossed-off reference a character jokes about.
posted by brainwane at 7:28 PM on October 15, 2021


OVERDRAWN AT THE MEMORYSTACK BANK

geez people
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 8:42 PM on October 15, 2021 [9 favorites]


Well of course you would say that! :D
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:05 PM on October 15, 2021 [2 favorites]


How did they not name this Nick of Time? THE GUY'S NAME IS LITERALLY NICK.

In the original story I think his name was Justin.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:16 PM on October 15, 2021 [4 favorites]


My candidates for the most gooftroop movie and tv show names of all time:

Ten years ago I pointed out in the blue that my neighbourhood theatre for many years had just shown the showed the frankly awesome-sounding double bill of Escape of the Kung Fu Apes from Dragon Island and its sequel, Kung Fu Apes 2: Bots of Doom.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:21 PM on October 15, 2021


+1 for Jadyn Wong. I always enjoyed her in TV's Scorpion.
posted by bryon at 9:58 PM on October 15, 2021


To prevent spoilers, I'll use IMDB links and you can not click if you want to get not spoiled.

I was secretly hoping for this movie to U-turn and have the time-changer be someone you didn't expect, and the final time-fight happen between them and a different aggrieved party.

This, in my opinion, would have been the single change that would turn this movie into something maybe fun. Pulpy and hackneyed in different ways, but at least more interesting.
posted by kandinski at 12:33 AM on October 16, 2021 [2 favorites]


Now on FanFare. No spoilers here, but MiraK warned us this was bad and was not wrong.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 5:51 AM on October 16, 2021 [3 favorites]


I was secretly hoping for this movie to U-turn and have the time-changer be someone you didn't expect, and the final time-fight happen between them and a different aggrieved party.

I'm getting way more enjoyment thinking about that possible movie for five minutes than I could possibly get watching the real thing. Thanks, kandinski.
posted by straight at 9:14 AM on October 16, 2021 [2 favorites]


How Stella Got Her Groove Back to the Future

The Time Traveler’s Ideal Husband

posted by Mister Moofoo at 9:24 AM on October 16, 2021 [8 favorites]


Love Stack

Unloved Mysteries with Robert Timestack

A Short Stack of Timecakes

posted by Mister Moofoo at 10:31 AM on October 16, 2021 [7 favorites]


Groundhog Days of our Lives
posted by TreeRooster at 10:43 AM on October 16, 2021 [7 favorites]


Bob Ted Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice
posted by Saxon Kane at 12:15 PM on October 16, 2021 [4 favorites]


Worth remembering that "Snakes on a Plane" was the working title of the movie, and not intended to be the title it released under. The movie was briefly renamed "Pacific Air Flight 121" before the studio caved to popular demand and kept the original title.
posted by vibratory manner of working at 12:36 PM on October 16, 2021 [1 favorite]


No Time To Date

How I Lost Your Mother

Once Upon A Time In The Past

Gone With A Wind Of The Dial

posted by Greg_Ace at 12:39 PM on October 16, 2021 [3 favorites]


I was secretly hoping for this movie to U-turn and have the time-changer be someone you didn't expect, and the final time-fight happen between them and a different aggrieved party.


kandinski, this was the exact possibility that gave me hope at around the halfway point. Alas that the story was so painfully unimaginative instead.

But the alt title game in this thread is almost justifying the existence of this movie.
posted by MiraK at 12:45 PM on October 16, 2021 [2 favorites]


How I Lost Your Mother

Alternatively, How I Met Your Mother And Then Didn't
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:05 PM on October 16, 2021 [3 favorites]


How I Mayan Meetan Your Mother

(via Dr. Dan Streetmentioner's Time Traveler's Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations)
posted by BungaDunga at 2:34 PM on October 16, 2021 [4 favorites]


Since the main characters are named Nick & Janine...

A Stitch in the Nick of Time Saves Janine
posted by Saxon Kane at 9:36 AM on October 17, 2021 [9 favorites]


I have not seen this (and will not see it), but I can see that JCVD is not in it as a relationship counselor, which just seems like a huge missed opportunity.
posted by adamrice at 11:09 AM on October 17, 2021


Timecope
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:15 AM on October 17, 2021 [2 favorites]


Or Timecrop
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:44 AM on October 17, 2021


Cockblocks of time?
posted by Pronoiac at 1:04 PM on October 17, 2021


Leibling, Ich Gershrunken der Zeitleiste
posted by vers at 4:11 PM on October 17, 2021


Cube 3: Time Cube Cubed
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 5:26 PM on October 17, 2021 [1 favorite]


Lock, Stack, and Two Smoking Timetravellers
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 6:56 PM on October 17, 2021 [2 favorites]


Time-Wife Records
posted by BungaDunga at 7:48 PM on October 17, 2021 [4 favorites]


MetaFilter: bland homogenous mass-market stuff.
posted by kirkaracha at 7:52 PM on October 17, 2021


A Tempest In A Time-Pot

Two Peas In A Timepod

When Life Give You Time-Lemons

Time Is Where The Heart Is

A Mountain Out Of A Timehill

Dead As A Timenail

Throw The Baby Out With The Timewater

The Tip of the Timeberg

To Hell In A Timebasket

Time is Thicker than Water

All Is Fair In Love and Time War

I Heard It On The Timevine
posted by BungaDunga at 8:14 PM on October 17, 2021 [8 favorites]


When Life Give You Time-Lemons \

...make wormhole-ade
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:33 PM on October 17, 2021 [3 favorites]


New Timeline, Who Dis?
posted by The Tensor at 1:29 AM on October 18, 2021 [14 favorites]


[BungaDunga's entire list]

'Puns' that live up to the original they are meant to parody. *chefkiss*
posted by MiraK at 7:09 AM on October 18, 2021 [2 favorites]


If we want to get crass but also call out what seems to be the movie's sexism (men competing over female-objects who appear to have no agency): The Husband's Stitch (in Time)
posted by Saxon Kane at 12:09 PM on October 19, 2021 [2 favorites]


My take on the significance of "Bladerunner" -- if you're hunting replicants, you have to extremely careful to determine if someone is human or not, so you don't make the mistake of killing a human or letting a replicant go free. It's a monumental challenge with no margin for error... just like running on the edge of a blade!
posted by Saxon Kane at 5:08 PM on October 20, 2021


« Older Two stories of psuedo-European culture in Georgia   |   RIP Russ Kick, 1969-2021 Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments