We're Gonna Need a Bigger Filter...
October 20, 2021 3:05 PM Subscribe
Meta? Horizon? Facebook Renaming Report Sparks Speculation [Bloomberg]
The original report: Facebook is planning to rebrand the company with a new name [The Verge]
The original report: Facebook is planning to rebrand the company with a new name [The Verge]
Sheinhardt Wig Company.
posted by chasing at 3:08 PM on October 20, 2021 [31 favorites]
posted by chasing at 3:08 PM on October 20, 2021 [31 favorites]
Put the "The" back in. It's friendlier.
posted by Johnny Assay at 3:11 PM on October 20, 2021 [12 favorites]
posted by Johnny Assay at 3:11 PM on October 20, 2021 [12 favorites]
Oceania
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:12 PM on October 20, 2021 [8 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:12 PM on October 20, 2021 [8 favorites]
Metaface - as in, they never met a face they didn't Like and subsequently surveil.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:12 PM on October 20, 2021 [12 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:12 PM on October 20, 2021 [12 favorites]
something descriptive, like Civilization Assassination, or just CivilAss for short
posted by glonous keming at 3:12 PM on October 20, 2021 [6 favorites]
posted by glonous keming at 3:12 PM on October 20, 2021 [6 favorites]
I hope they carefully consider the effect on FAANG.
Although that already doesn't take Alphabet into account. FAANA? Maybe if Facebook picks an "A" name it could be AAANA...
posted by allegedly at 3:13 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
Although that already doesn't take Alphabet into account. FAANA? Maybe if Facebook picks an "A" name it could be AAANA...
posted by allegedly at 3:13 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
I imagine they're trying to extend and generalize their brand reach. So maybe "World Book."
Oh shoot, that's already taken.
So maybe back to their origin story: Assbook.
posted by sjswitzer at 3:14 PM on October 20, 2021 [6 favorites]
Oh shoot, that's already taken.
So maybe back to their origin story: Assbook.
posted by sjswitzer at 3:14 PM on October 20, 2021 [6 favorites]
Zucks%20Cool%20Web%20Page.html
posted by theodolite at 3:17 PM on October 20, 2021 [40 favorites]
posted by theodolite at 3:17 PM on October 20, 2021 [40 favorites]
Maybe if Facebook picks an "A" name it could be AAANA...
It's smart to choose a business name starting with A so you're at the front of the listings in the phone book. A savvy marketer like Zuckerberg isn't going to miss that opportunity.
posted by chrchr at 3:18 PM on October 20, 2021 [25 favorites]
It's smart to choose a business name starting with A so you're at the front of the listings in the phone book. A savvy marketer like Zuckerberg isn't going to miss that opportunity.
posted by chrchr at 3:18 PM on October 20, 2021 [25 favorites]
Visagetome? Gobfolio?
posted by genpfault at 3:18 PM on October 20, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by genpfault at 3:18 PM on October 20, 2021 [5 favorites]
Zuckerbergendorf?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:20 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:20 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
There new legal name will be "Facebook '); DROP TABLE lawsuits;--
posted by nickggully at 3:20 PM on October 20, 2021 [60 favorites]
posted by nickggully at 3:20 PM on October 20, 2021 [60 favorites]
Gram, as in insta, also half the people on facebook. Also as a common unit of measure for addictive substances.
posted by joeyh at 3:21 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by joeyh at 3:21 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
Tronc
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 3:22 PM on October 20, 2021 [55 favorites]
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 3:22 PM on October 20, 2021 [55 favorites]
We need a word, a plan... Letterman! He can change an 'a' into an 'e', revealing the new name to be... FECEBOOK.
posted by Catblack at 3:24 PM on October 20, 2021 [12 favorites]
posted by Catblack at 3:24 PM on October 20, 2021 [12 favorites]
My guess is that it will be about as successful as Alphabet has been at getting recognition, and everyone will still refer to it as Facebook. But god I hope they really TRONC it up and come up with something that is just hilariously non-sensical or that means "Turd Bandits" in some other language etc.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 3:24 PM on October 20, 2021 [12 favorites]
posted by inflatablekiwi at 3:24 PM on October 20, 2021 [12 favorites]
They're either trying to get away from a toxic name in order to protect WhatsApp, Instagram, Oculus, etc or they're flailing around with rebranding in pursuit of this Metaverse nonsense. Maybe both.
The Metaverse thing is astonishingly stupid. They expect hundreds of millions of people to buy an expensive VR rig and seal themselves off from the outside world in order to...watch virtual Powerpoint presentations with Wii-era graphics?
VR is mostly a dead-end outside of specialized applications. Voice and hand-waving are bad, low-bandwidth, low-affordance interface methods, no matter how cool Minority Report looked or how hard Apple, Google, and Amazon try. Wearing a headset means you can't see a keyboard, mouse, or any non-virtual materials. VR-induced nausea is a nigh-insurmountable problem for many people, and allowing the user to walk around safely is still a largely unsolved problem, with any likely solution requiring expensive and bulky hardware. I hope Metaverse ends up bankrupting the company.
posted by jedicus at 3:27 PM on October 20, 2021 [21 favorites]
The Metaverse thing is astonishingly stupid. They expect hundreds of millions of people to buy an expensive VR rig and seal themselves off from the outside world in order to...watch virtual Powerpoint presentations with Wii-era graphics?
VR is mostly a dead-end outside of specialized applications. Voice and hand-waving are bad, low-bandwidth, low-affordance interface methods, no matter how cool Minority Report looked or how hard Apple, Google, and Amazon try. Wearing a headset means you can't see a keyboard, mouse, or any non-virtual materials. VR-induced nausea is a nigh-insurmountable problem for many people, and allowing the user to walk around safely is still a largely unsolved problem, with any likely solution requiring expensive and bulky hardware. I hope Metaverse ends up bankrupting the company.
posted by jedicus at 3:27 PM on October 20, 2021 [21 favorites]
stolen from twitter -
Dear Facebook:
We've received your request to change your name. However, due to our Real Names Policy, we will require you to fax us a copy of your court order and new driver's license before proceeding.
posted by bartleby at 3:31 PM on October 20, 2021 [84 favorites]
Dear Facebook:
We've received your request to change your name. However, due to our Real Names Policy, we will require you to fax us a copy of your court order and new driver's license before proceeding.
posted by bartleby at 3:31 PM on October 20, 2021 [84 favorites]
Sheinhardt Wig Company
Instead of changing the name, maybe Facebook can change its pronunciation to something like Dr. Spaceman.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 3:32 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
Instead of changing the name, maybe Facebook can change its pronunciation to something like Dr. Spaceman.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 3:32 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
Faceplant?
posted by jim in austin at 3:35 PM on October 20, 2021 [18 favorites]
posted by jim in austin at 3:35 PM on October 20, 2021 [18 favorites]
Sheinhardt Wig Company!!
Slowly I turned, step by step....
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:38 PM on October 20, 2021 [5 favorites]
Slowly I turned, step by step....
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:38 PM on October 20, 2021 [5 favorites]
FaceBootTM
Imagine the Future.
Your face.
Our boot.
Forever!
posted by Atom Eyes at 3:39 PM on October 20, 2021 [44 favorites]
Imagine the Future.
Your face.
Our boot.
Forever!
posted by Atom Eyes at 3:39 PM on October 20, 2021 [44 favorites]
"Well there's nothin better than a fart.."
posted by elkevelvet at 3:42 PM on October 20, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by elkevelvet at 3:42 PM on October 20, 2021 [5 favorites]
skaneateles
trdbrgr
uumellmahaye
the_place_to_be_all_one_word_dot_org.com
etobicoke, but every time someone mispronounces it an angel kicks Zuckerberg in the fambly jewels
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 3:44 PM on October 20, 2021 [7 favorites]
trdbrgr
uumellmahaye
the_place_to_be_all_one_word_dot_org.com
etobicoke, but every time someone mispronounces it an angel kicks Zuckerberg in the fambly jewels
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 3:44 PM on October 20, 2021 [7 favorites]
Facebook: press the like button
[newname] : please still like us. Please.
posted by armoir from antproof case at 3:46 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
[newname] : please still like us. Please.
posted by armoir from antproof case at 3:46 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
Habbo Hotel
posted by SoberHighland at 3:50 PM on October 20, 2021 [7 favorites]
posted by SoberHighland at 3:50 PM on October 20, 2021 [7 favorites]
Much like the Alphabet nonsense, this is a transparent "look I'm not touching you" attempt to build an argument against antitrust actions.
I'm hoping they go with "Whatever" as a company name, mostly because WAANG is a pretty good summary of big tech anyway
posted by phooky at 4:01 PM on October 20, 2021 [6 favorites]
I'm hoping they go with "Whatever" as a company name, mostly because WAANG is a pretty good summary of big tech anyway
posted by phooky at 4:01 PM on October 20, 2021 [6 favorites]
The Information Retrieval Concern Formally Known As Facebook
posted by philip-random at 4:12 PM on October 20, 2021 [6 favorites]
posted by philip-random at 4:12 PM on October 20, 2021 [6 favorites]
Shitposters Amalgamated ("We're Beatrice")
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 4:13 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 4:13 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
Stalkr.
posted by pompomtom at 4:13 PM on October 20, 2021 [7 favorites]
posted by pompomtom at 4:13 PM on October 20, 2021 [7 favorites]
It's a bold move to change your name to W O R L D F U C K E R S, but I applaud this rare moment of honestly from Zuckerburg.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:14 PM on October 20, 2021 [8 favorites]
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:14 PM on October 20, 2021 [8 favorites]
Stolen from a Slack I'm in re Alphabet:
Numbers
posted by Ickster at 4:16 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
Numbers
posted by Ickster at 4:16 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
Alphabat.
posted by betweenthebars at 4:17 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by betweenthebars at 4:17 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
Hingle McCringleberg's End Zone Celebration
posted by rhizome at 4:18 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by rhizome at 4:18 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
I love the FPP title so much. Well done, chavenet.
posted by armoir from antproof case at 4:22 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by armoir from antproof case at 4:22 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
Mark Zuckerberg is turning into Gavin Belson. Maybe their new name will be Houli.
posted by interogative mood at 4:23 PM on October 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by interogative mood at 4:23 PM on October 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
Weyland-Yutani, because if anyone is bringing xenomorphs back to Earth, it's Zuckerberg.
posted by Kitteh at 4:25 PM on October 20, 2021 [11 favorites]
posted by Kitteh at 4:25 PM on October 20, 2021 [11 favorites]
Wouldn’t it be glorious if they used the movie title, though?
“The Social Networks”
posted by Callisto Prime at 4:33 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
“The Social Networks”
posted by Callisto Prime at 4:33 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
I'm pretty sure Leviathan and Behemoth are available. That's free. No charge. Yet.
posted by Splunge at 4:35 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by Splunge at 4:35 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
Gog or Magog? Just blue skying here.
::walks away with hands in pockets, whistling::
posted by Splunge at 4:36 PM on October 20, 2021 [5 favorites]
::walks away with hands in pockets, whistling::
posted by Splunge at 4:36 PM on October 20, 2021 [5 favorites]
They're going to pay millions and millions for a name that has been researched to be inoffensive in every existing language (and some dead ones too).
posted by rhizome at 4:45 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by rhizome at 4:45 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
I actually deleted my Facebook account last week, and now I get to be one of the last people to say that! /smug
posted by swift at 4:54 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by swift at 4:54 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
Is the word "the" having a moment here? First it's "The Suicide Squad" and the upcoming "The Batman." Now "The Facebook."
posted by zardoz at 4:55 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by zardoz at 4:55 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
metastases.com
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 4:57 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 4:57 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
Qbook
posted by treepour at 5:00 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by treepour at 5:00 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
Given the ends of Gab and Parler, I wouldn't be surprised if they give it a conservative leaning name or rebranding. Like Libertybook with a lot of eagles and camo ball cap-wearing models in photos. There is a no reason they shouldn't lean into that. They have already been caught promoting or protecting the far right fringe. So make it formal.
posted by Freecola at 5:06 PM on October 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Freecola at 5:06 PM on October 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
They have already been caught promoting or protecting the far right fringe. So make it formal.
Stormface? Or maybe Frontbook?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:15 PM on October 20, 2021 [8 favorites]
Stormface? Or maybe Frontbook?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:15 PM on October 20, 2021 [8 favorites]
Das Gauleiterbuch
posted by clavdivs at 5:18 PM on October 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by clavdivs at 5:18 PM on October 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
Qwikster? Yah? Anyone? Yah? No? Okay yeah you're right no Qwikster.
posted by nushustu at 5:18 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by nushustu at 5:18 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
Four Seasons Total Media
posted by Daily Alice at 5:18 PM on October 20, 2021 [31 favorites]
posted by Daily Alice at 5:18 PM on October 20, 2021 [31 favorites]
Hard seconding Weyland-Yutani
as we are all just candidate hosts for FB-enabled adware infection
posted by armoir from antproof case at 5:29 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
as we are all just candidate hosts for FB-enabled adware infection
posted by armoir from antproof case at 5:29 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
Slowly I turned, step by step....
[STANDS IN TEA CHEST. SINGS.] And did those feet in ancient times…
posted by fedward at 5:34 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
[STANDS IN TEA CHEST. SINGS.] And did those feet in ancient times…
posted by fedward at 5:34 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
Is Skynet taken?
That or Throatwarbler Mangrove
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 5:35 PM on October 20, 2021 [5 favorites]
That or Throatwarbler Mangrove
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 5:35 PM on October 20, 2021 [5 favorites]
Facepalm
posted by dywypi at 5:42 PM on October 20, 2021 [9 favorites]
posted by dywypi at 5:42 PM on October 20, 2021 [9 favorites]
Sadly, "Eye of Sauron" has already been used.
posted by briank at 5:44 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by briank at 5:44 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
Booky McBookFace
posted by tonycpsu at 5:52 PM on October 20, 2021 [19 favorites]
posted by tonycpsu at 5:52 PM on October 20, 2021 [19 favorites]
MyFace.
It's retro and friendly enough to distract from how user photographs are flowing into law enforcement databases.
posted by betweenthebars at 5:52 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
It's retro and friendly enough to distract from how user photographs are flowing into law enforcement databases.
posted by betweenthebars at 5:52 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
I would note that in the world of Shadowrun, the megacorporation called Horizon is basically all social media companies and a lot of ad agencies and entertainment companies squooshed together…
…which also caused a horrific issue of destroying personalities and replacing them with fragments of an AI.
So, you know, a lot like Facebork today.
posted by mephron at 6:02 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
…which also caused a horrific issue of destroying personalities and replacing them with fragments of an AI.
So, you know, a lot like Facebork today.
posted by mephron at 6:02 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
A savvy marketer like Zuckerberg isn't going to miss that opportunity.
Zuckerberg should be especially aware of the advantages of having a name early in the alphabet because his name is very much not.
posted by madcaptenor at 6:03 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
Zuckerberg should be especially aware of the advantages of having a name early in the alphabet because his name is very much not.
posted by madcaptenor at 6:03 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
Big Ego Destroys World's Biggest Brand
posted by ZenMasterThis at 6:12 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by ZenMasterThis at 6:12 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
Altria. It worked for the cancer company.
posted by Nelson at 6:19 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by Nelson at 6:19 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
Boomers n' Bots!
Boomers n' Bots!
I'm gonna Q drop some Boomers n' Bots!
or
"Hey, 2005 called. They said quit trying to make Second Life happen. It's NOT going to happen."
posted by bartleby at 6:30 PM on October 20, 2021 [6 favorites]
Boomers n' Bots!
I'm gonna Q drop some Boomers n' Bots!
or
"Hey, 2005 called. They said quit trying to make Second Life happen. It's NOT going to happen."
posted by bartleby at 6:30 PM on October 20, 2021 [6 favorites]
Flavortown.
posted by snofoam at 6:36 PM on October 20, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by snofoam at 6:36 PM on October 20, 2021 [5 favorites]
all.com We know all about you.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 6:40 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by a humble nudibranch at 6:40 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
Either Firefly S2
or
All the world's a grift
posted by Calvin and the Duplicators at 6:47 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
or
All the world's a grift
posted by Calvin and the Duplicators at 6:47 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
Comirnaty
posted by oulipian at 6:51 PM on October 20, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by oulipian at 6:51 PM on October 20, 2021 [5 favorites]
ivermectin4free.com
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 6:58 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 6:58 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
OCP
posted by McSly at 6:59 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by McSly at 6:59 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
Blue Sun
posted by MrVisible at 6:59 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by MrVisible at 6:59 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
MegaFilter
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:00 PM on October 20, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:00 PM on October 20, 2021 [5 favorites]
They could position themselves as the opposite of Microsoft:
Megahard
posted by MrVisible at 7:03 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
Megahard
posted by MrVisible at 7:03 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
(I am assuming the product 'Facebook' will still be called that after this name change. It's just the entity that makes it will be called something different.)
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 7:04 PM on October 20, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 7:04 PM on October 20, 2021 [5 favorites]
That said, I propose:
The Very Big Corporation of America
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 7:07 PM on October 20, 2021 [5 favorites]
The Very Big Corporation of America
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 7:07 PM on October 20, 2021 [5 favorites]
The Plastic.com It's Okay To Like
posted by killdevil at 7:11 PM on October 20, 2021 [11 favorites]
posted by killdevil at 7:11 PM on October 20, 2021 [11 favorites]
Has nobody suggested Cat-scan.com?
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 7:15 PM on October 20, 2021 [6 favorites]
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 7:15 PM on October 20, 2021 [6 favorites]
I understand "Quibi" is up for grabs.
(Also I adore you people.)
posted by humbug at 7:17 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
(Also I adore you people.)
posted by humbug at 7:17 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
Runes.
posted by clavdivs at 7:28 PM on October 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by clavdivs at 7:28 PM on October 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
Winkle…voss all ze lyingk really a gud idea, Herr Zuckerberg?
posted by armoir from antproof case at 7:36 PM on October 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by armoir from antproof case at 7:36 PM on October 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
Just. Bookface.
posted by mdoar at 7:48 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by mdoar at 7:48 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
I haven’t read the source story for Metaverse so this may be dumb but it seems both utterly on brand and yet very sad that Zuckerburg, who surely has enough wealth to enjoy his time on this beautiful planet, read a story about escaping a dystopian reality into the Metaverse and decided to put all his resources into the coping mechanism, not reality. Dude.
posted by warriorqueen at 7:59 PM on October 20, 2021 [6 favorites]
posted by warriorqueen at 7:59 PM on October 20, 2021 [6 favorites]
Well, everyone, congrats; we just took the bait. No point in announcing this early except to drum up some clicks from the ol' social computer. Look how clever we are as we ineffectually punched at the hypercompany. How we came together to reaffirm its actual power. As Leonard said on Community when asked why he reviewed frozen pizza* "You're talking about it."
And now we all feel a little better about a horrible thing.
*It was frozen pizza, right?
posted by DeepSeaHaggis at 8:19 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
And now we all feel a little better about a horrible thing.
*It was frozen pizza, right?
posted by DeepSeaHaggis at 8:19 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
Hard seconding Weyland-Yutani
Say what you like about the tenets of bitey xenomorphism, at least they terraformed planets.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 8:23 PM on October 20, 2021 [8 favorites]
Say what you like about the tenets of bitey xenomorphism, at least they terraformed planets.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 8:23 PM on October 20, 2021 [8 favorites]
The Plastic.com It's Okay To Like
Compelling, Disingenuous
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:05 PM on October 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
Compelling, Disingenuous
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:05 PM on October 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
Metavers Libre
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:08 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:08 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
wotthehell Marky wotthehell
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:09 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:09 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
The Plastic.com It's Okay To Like
Pours one out for mayorbob.
posted by V'Ger at 9:45 PM on October 20, 2021 [5 favorites]
Pours one out for mayorbob.
posted by V'Ger at 9:45 PM on October 20, 2021 [5 favorites]
Colbert weighs in.
Pinsurrectionists has my vote.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 10:19 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
Pinsurrectionists has my vote.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 10:19 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
Paragraph.
Think graph - the Graph API. Graphical User Interface. Graphic violence.
Think para - parallel universe. Paramilitary. Parasite. Parallelogram.
Paragraph.
posted by romanb at 10:44 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
Think graph - the Graph API. Graphical User Interface. Graphic violence.
Think para - parallel universe. Paramilitary. Parasite. Parallelogram.
Paragraph.
posted by romanb at 10:44 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
BaseFolk
posted by Calvin and the Duplicators at 11:00 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by Calvin and the Duplicators at 11:00 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
*rapidly refreshes Benedict Cumberbatch name generator*
Wellington Custardwheel!
posted by brundlefly at 11:06 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
Wellington Custardwheel!
posted by brundlefly at 11:06 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
Fuckbroke.
posted by flabdablet at 11:13 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 11:13 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
In the spirit of a certain NFL team, "The Menlo Park Website Company."
posted by rhizome at 11:40 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by rhizome at 11:40 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
Pontypool
posted by bartleby at 2:56 AM on October 21, 2021 [8 favorites]
posted by bartleby at 2:56 AM on October 21, 2021 [8 favorites]
Fleece
posted by flabdablet at 3:53 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 3:53 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
And now we all feel a little better about a horrible thing.
The company that filled Cox's Bazaar? Yeah, fuck no.
posted by pompomtom at 4:17 AM on October 21, 2021 [1 favorite]
The company that filled Cox's Bazaar? Yeah, fuck no.
posted by pompomtom at 4:17 AM on October 21, 2021 [1 favorite]
Sirius Cybernetics
posted by flabdablet at 4:43 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 4:43 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
All your Bace are belong to Fook
Memoir from Antboof Kace
efby
posted by bartleby at 4:44 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
Memoir from Antboof Kace
efby
posted by bartleby at 4:44 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
Mom’s Friendly Robot Company
posted by killdevil at 5:28 AM on October 21, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by killdevil at 5:28 AM on October 21, 2021 [3 favorites]
Habbo Hotel
Pool's closed.
Be interesting if it became known as a vector for identity theft and catfishing;
Club Pwnguin
posted by bartleby at 5:45 AM on October 21, 2021 [3 favorites]
Pool's closed.
Be interesting if it became known as a vector for identity theft and catfishing;
Club Pwnguin
posted by bartleby at 5:45 AM on October 21, 2021 [3 favorites]
Mine
posted by flabdablet at 6:09 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 6:09 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
OASIS ? (Ready Player One)
Metaverse (Wouldn't they get into a little trouble.... Snow Crash?)
posted by rozcakj at 8:08 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
Metaverse (Wouldn't they get into a little trouble.... Snow Crash?)
posted by rozcakj at 8:08 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
GloboChem
posted by Devoidoid at 8:30 AM on October 21, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by Devoidoid at 8:30 AM on October 21, 2021 [3 favorites]
Ye Olde Mendacity Shoppe
posted by Lyme Drop at 8:37 AM on October 21, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by Lyme Drop at 8:37 AM on October 21, 2021 [3 favorites]
If Facebook changes its name to Mine, then the holding group (the Alphabet equivalent) could obviously be All Mine.
posted by flabdablet at 8:39 AM on October 21, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 8:39 AM on October 21, 2021 [3 favorites]
Glom
posted by flabdablet at 8:41 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 8:41 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
Vacuum Group
posted by flabdablet at 8:42 AM on October 21, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by flabdablet at 8:42 AM on October 21, 2021 [1 favorite]
Void
posted by flabdablet at 8:49 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 8:49 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
Deepspace
some name like that, anyway, that connotes the unimaginable vastness of the suck
posted by flabdablet at 8:50 AM on October 21, 2021 [1 favorite]
some name like that, anyway, that connotes the unimaginable vastness of the suck
posted by flabdablet at 8:50 AM on October 21, 2021 [1 favorite]
ctrl-F "setec astronomy" 0 results what the fuck
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 9:03 AM on October 21, 2021 [8 favorites]
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 9:03 AM on October 21, 2021 [8 favorites]
Yeehaw!
posted by flabdablet at 9:11 AM on October 21, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 9:11 AM on October 21, 2021 [3 favorites]
Yeet
posted by flabdablet at 9:12 AM on October 21, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by flabdablet at 9:12 AM on October 21, 2021 [1 favorite]
Ozymandias Inc
posted by flabdablet at 9:18 AM on October 21, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 9:18 AM on October 21, 2021 [4 favorites]
Waystar Royco
posted by flabdablet at 9:20 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 9:20 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
CosaNostra Pizza University
posted by erikred at 9:44 AM on October 21, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by erikred at 9:44 AM on October 21, 2021 [1 favorite]
Ozymandias Inc.
You joke, but this actually happened. (Or is that the joke?)
posted by The Bellman at 11:19 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
You joke, but this actually happened. (Or is that the joke?)
posted by The Bellman at 11:19 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
Farcebook?
posted by Beethoven's Sith at 11:29 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by Beethoven's Sith at 11:29 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
Dystopia, Inc.
NuReal
Misinformation Station
Reality Stoppers
The Boot of Oppression on the Neck of the People (Inc.)
posted by LooseFilter at 11:50 AM on October 21, 2021 [1 favorite]
NuReal
Misinformation Station
Reality Stoppers
The Boot of Oppression on the Neck of the People (Inc.)
posted by LooseFilter at 11:50 AM on October 21, 2021 [1 favorite]
They're either trying to get away from a toxic name in order to protect WhatsApp, Instagram, Oculus, etc
I am convinced it is exactly this. Like Google and Alphabet, they're just giving the holding company a new name so the name "Facebook" will be less associated with their other brands. I will eat my hat if they change the name of Facebook the social network.
Also like Google and Alphabet, the extent to which this will actually make a difference will be negligible. Then again, did you know Fitbit is a subsidiary of Alphabet? The real test will be if Oculus accounts will still require a valid Facebook account (and getting banned from Facebook sends you to Oculus Coventry too).
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 11:57 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
I am convinced it is exactly this. Like Google and Alphabet, they're just giving the holding company a new name so the name "Facebook" will be less associated with their other brands. I will eat my hat if they change the name of Facebook the social network.
Also like Google and Alphabet, the extent to which this will actually make a difference will be negligible. Then again, did you know Fitbit is a subsidiary of Alphabet? The real test will be if Oculus accounts will still require a valid Facebook account (and getting banned from Facebook sends you to Oculus Coventry too).
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 11:57 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
Facepalm
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:58 AM on October 21, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:58 AM on October 21, 2021 [1 favorite]
Uncle Zuckbuck$ Network of Chucklefucks
posted by glaucon at 12:02 PM on October 21, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by glaucon at 12:02 PM on October 21, 2021 [5 favorites]
Epiphyte (2) Corporation
posted by fedward at 12:28 PM on October 21, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by fedward at 12:28 PM on October 21, 2021 [1 favorite]
Trump is launching TRUTH social as his own social media site, apparently on a modified Mastodon platform, and which has apparently already been defaced before it was publicly launched. So this Zuckerburg chap better get a move along if he wants to take his fair share of the crazy.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 1:13 PM on October 21, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by inflatablekiwi at 1:13 PM on October 21, 2021 [3 favorites]
Fuck You That's Why, Inc.
posted by rhizome at 1:17 PM on October 21, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by rhizome at 1:17 PM on October 21, 2021 [3 favorites]
PutinAnalytica.com
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 1:40 PM on October 21, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 1:40 PM on October 21, 2021 [1 favorite]
You.Are.The.Product.com
posted by Farce_First at 1:55 PM on October 21, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by Farce_First at 1:55 PM on October 21, 2021 [4 favorites]
I thought we would finally get covfefe.com in time for 2024!
posted by pulposus at 1:59 PM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by pulposus at 1:59 PM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
Trump is launching TRUTH social as his own social media site,
I’m certain it will be the same unbelievable success as Trump Steaks, Trump Vodka, Trump Financial, Trump Casinos, Trump Magazine, Trump Style Magazine, Trump University, GoTrump.com (the former online travel search engine), Trump Drinks, the Donald J. Trump Signature Collection, the fragrance product lines (Donald Trump The Fragrance, Success, and Empire), Trump Ice (the line of bottled water), Trump Chocolate, Trump: The Game, Trump Books, Trump Model Management, Trump Steakhouse, and Trump Steaks.
I think Rudy’s famous press conference at the garden centre next to the sex toy store was actually a product launch that went wrong. Given the ex-game show host’s proclivity for slapping his name on anything he thinks he can shill, it surely cannot be coincidental that DONALD AND MELANIA TRUMP is an anagram of AN ANAL DILDO NAMED TRUMP.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 3:06 PM on October 21, 2021 [5 favorites]
I’m certain it will be the same unbelievable success as Trump Steaks, Trump Vodka, Trump Financial, Trump Casinos, Trump Magazine, Trump Style Magazine, Trump University, GoTrump.com (the former online travel search engine), Trump Drinks, the Donald J. Trump Signature Collection, the fragrance product lines (Donald Trump The Fragrance, Success, and Empire), Trump Ice (the line of bottled water), Trump Chocolate, Trump: The Game, Trump Books, Trump Model Management, Trump Steakhouse, and Trump Steaks.
I think Rudy’s famous press conference at the garden centre next to the sex toy store was actually a product launch that went wrong. Given the ex-game show host’s proclivity for slapping his name on anything he thinks he can shill, it surely cannot be coincidental that DONALD AND MELANIA TRUMP is an anagram of AN ANAL DILDO NAMED TRUMP.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 3:06 PM on October 21, 2021 [5 favorites]
"Donald Trump The Fragrance"? Jeez, can't you put in a content warning?
posted by sjswitzer at 3:39 PM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by sjswitzer at 3:39 PM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
Although that already doesn't take Alphabet into account. FAANA? Maybe if Facebook picks an "A" name it could be AAANA...
Or "L" for AANAL to represent their favourite method of screwing society over?
posted by thoughtful_jester at 4:12 PM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
Or "L" for AANAL to represent their favourite method of screwing society over?
posted by thoughtful_jester at 4:12 PM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
In no particular order, some of these are more suited to the actual metaverse subsidiary than the new parent—
Life
Here (or There, less likely are Everything or Everywhere)
Iz (or Is)
Socio
The Axis (I’ve got $50 in the pool on this one, don’t let me down)
U
Loc (rhymes with joke)
In (or less likely, one hopes, It)
NowHere (now here AND nowhere!)
Hollo (it’s like holla and hello and the holodeck! This one tested really really well with Mark on his boat that one time but that might have been the Remy)
MySpace
Viva
Wish
Matter
Things
Light
Imagine (or Think)
Sup
Company
Gravity
Center
posted by bigbigdog at 11:08 PM on October 21, 2021 [1 favorite]
Life
Here (or There, less likely are Everything or Everywhere)
Iz (or Is)
Socio
The Axis (I’ve got $50 in the pool on this one, don’t let me down)
U
Loc (rhymes with joke)
In (or less likely, one hopes, It)
NowHere (now here AND nowhere!)
Hollo (it’s like holla and hello and the holodeck! This one tested really really well with Mark on his boat that one time but that might have been the Remy)
MySpace
Viva
Wish
Matter
Things
Light
Imagine (or Think)
Sup
Company
Gravity
Center
posted by bigbigdog at 11:08 PM on October 21, 2021 [1 favorite]
Donald Trump The Fragrance
30% burger fart, 60% flop sweat, 10% Axe
posted by flabdablet at 12:21 AM on October 22, 2021 [3 favorites]
30% burger fart, 60% flop sweat, 10% Axe
posted by flabdablet at 12:21 AM on October 22, 2021 [3 favorites]
Octopus Grift
posted by flabdablet at 12:22 AM on October 22, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 12:22 AM on October 22, 2021 [4 favorites]
Mycelia
posted by flabdablet at 1:34 PM on October 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by flabdablet at 1:34 PM on October 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
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posted by They sucked his brains out! at 3:07 PM on October 20, 2021 [23 favorites]