The bird could say “What’s up?” and “I’m fine” and “a lot of swear words
December 11, 2021 8:34 AM   Subscribe

 
Quoth the raven, "$%@#*%@&!"
posted by MythMaker at 9:14 AM on December 11, 2021 [16 favorites]


I am very respectful around the crows around my house. I wish I could win them over as friends, but they always seem angry when I go outside. Maybe they hate the noise of my neighbors, I don't know. I am pro-corvid (which is hilarious now that I think of COVID). I'm tempted to offer them nuts when I go out, but they always seem suspicious of me. Would they think I'm offering them poison?
posted by SPrintF at 9:23 AM on December 11, 2021 [2 favorites]


Crow adopted the humans.
posted by otherchaz at 9:35 AM on December 11, 2021


I have a feeling this crow and I are soulmates and we would get along just fine. What's up? Fuck you, I'm fine!

Seriously please send the crow to me. It can hang out inside or outside and swear and steal all it wants.
posted by loquacious at 9:36 AM on December 11, 2021 [5 favorites]


I am so glad the crow is ok and got back to its home, Crows are so smart. And the kids at that school will never forget their crow visitor.
posted by mermayd at 9:48 AM on December 11, 2021 [2 favorites]


The Crow Whisperer
posted by anshuman at 10:07 AM on December 11, 2021


It's funny that the reporter reports that this is a crow "or possibly, raven".
posted by bleary at 10:25 AM on December 11, 2021 [3 favorites]


“Animal control came out and decided it was not in their jurisdiction to catch the crow.”

On the one hand, that raises questions, from funny to no-actually-I'm-serious, what are the jurisdictional factors in regional animal control departments?

But I love how evocative the detail itself is. I'm picturing the animal control agent stepping into the classroom. Everything falling silent. Close-ups of crow and agent locking eyes. Ennio Morricone score. The agent shrinks away, mumbles, "not my jurisdiction" as they take a couple careful steps back, then turns and runs.

"Fucking right," caws the crow. Children cheer.
posted by Drastic at 10:28 AM on December 11, 2021 [30 favorites]


It's funny that the reporter reports that this is a crow "or possibly, raven".

“Big crow or small raven, how the hell should I know?”
posted by atoxyl at 11:27 AM on December 11, 2021 [1 favorite]


"AWWWWK! CAAAAA! I'M NOT EVEN FUCKING REAL!!!"
posted by not_on_display at 11:34 AM on December 11, 2021 [1 favorite]


I'm tempted to offer them nuts when I go out, but they always seem suspicious of me.

Leave the nuts where they can watch you leaving them, and then see if they are gone the next time you look. If they are, place more there. They will connect you with the leaving of nuts, and things might progress more from there.

They likely are suspicious, but not specifically of YOU.
posted by hippybear at 11:50 AM on December 11, 2021 [3 favorites]


Our crows pecked on the front door when my partner was later than usual because she always threw out a handful of nuts for them. When she was really late and forgot one day, a crow landed on the hood of her car and pecked at the windshield.
posted by jamjam at 12:13 PM on December 11, 2021 [15 favorites]


Mrs. emmet would call "hello" when she threw out walnuts when the crows were around. It took us a little time to figure out that the strange repeated sound - sort of like a loud meow - was one of the crows calling out "hello" back to her. So far that's the extent of the conversation, but sometimes one will be quite chatty, and we'll call and respond "hello" for several minutes. No complaints, it's really a magical thing to hear.
posted by emmet at 12:45 PM on December 11, 2021 [19 favorites]


I worked with a fellow at a deep-night-shift place, so our end of our 'day' was into sun-coming-up-morning. He liked to conclude his day by having a drink on the porch and throwing out handfuls of hot dog chopped up into tiny pieces for the crows. He took great delight in describing how when he turned into his street, a small flock would follow his car, wheeling overhead and screaming at him. "I don't dare ever skip the routine. They'd murder me!" (We got along pretty much immediately because of I See What You Did There factor.)
posted by Drastic at 12:51 PM on December 11, 2021 [15 favorites]


Folks in this thread might really enjoy this episode of This is Love entitled, “The Magpie of Heart Mountain.” I know a magpie is not a crow but I sure didn’t know they could talk! Episode page If that link doesn’t work for you.
posted by amanda at 6:12 AM on December 12, 2021 [1 favorite]


I'm sorry, but I have to say this: a flock of crows always work great together, because of their esprit de caw.
posted by SPrintF at 8:21 AM on December 12, 2021 [1 favorite]


They didn’t want to net it because if they missed, it would remember.”

What I’ve learned about this is anyone who knows animals doesn’t want to fuck with crows.
posted by corb at 8:48 AM on December 12, 2021 [5 favorites]


I love the stories about befriending crows. Less so when "oops, I missed a day of feeding them and now they're harassing me." This is adorable, though. Especially the dirty words.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:41 AM on December 12, 2021 [1 favorite]


I'm tempted to offer them nuts when I go out...

One cheese cube will make you known to generations of corvids.
posted by y2karl at 1:43 PM on December 12, 2021 [1 favorite]


Inspired by this charmingly Web 1.0 Crow FAQ, I started feeding my neighborhood crows a few months ago. It didn't take long for some of them to start to recognize me and hang out at certain corners when my partner and I would take our daily walk. They're very good at swooping past my head close enough that I can't fail to notice them but not so close that it's alarming or off-putting. I don't imagine this is out of politeness so much as not wanting to give me the chance to grab them.

That said, they are pretty polite. They'll follow me around but not yell at me or anything and if I run out of peanuts mid-walk they'll give up after a couple blocks. And while unfortunately they also recognize my partner and follow her when she goes for solo walks despite that she never feeds them herself, they haven't engaged in any harassment beyond Conspicuous Loitering.

As it's started getting darker earlier here there have been fewer or none at all—I guess they retreat to wherever they sleep when it gets dark, which is before my workday ends now. I thought maybe they'd give up on me after a few weeks. But I went out around 2 or 3 today and there were probably like 30 of them, or maybe the same 10 or 15 trying to double-dip. Fortunately they were still fine leaving me alone when I ran out of peanuts halfway through.
posted by valrus at 5:33 PM on December 12, 2021 [2 favorites]


Dr. Kaeli Swift, corvid researcher extraordinaire, posted an interesting twitter thread exploring the good and not-so-good aspects of this story and others like it. It's interesting reading and not really judgmental at all.
posted by m2ke at 5:58 PM on December 12, 2021 [3 favorites]


I don't dare ever skip the routine. They'd murder me!"

I saw what you did.
posted by mule98J at 7:42 AM on December 14, 2021 [1 favorite]


That said, they are pretty polite.

Not my posse. If I walk out my door without treats, I get followed by one or two crows who follow for a block or two, trailing me so close that they often brush my ears with their pinions, all the time doing the assembly call of caw! caw! caw! Which can attract every crow in earshot -- man, talk about murder then. Especially this time of year. It can widen the eyes and raise the eyebrows of the more attentive oncoming people on the sidewalk. Take a tip from me: feed a crow and they become family. And you know what that can mean.
posted by y2karl at 10:31 PM on December 22, 2021 [1 favorite]


For the record, my posse.
posted by y2karl at 12:33 AM on December 23, 2021


Yeah, the problem with crows is they think they’re intimidating you into feeding them, and that’s only about 60% true.
posted by jamjam at 3:12 AM on December 23, 2021


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