I'd say that even if he weren't my liege lord just because it's true

May 6, 2022 7:52 AM

I Know What It Sounds Like But My Liege Lord Just Happens To Be Exemplary In Form and Countenance [sir dan lav prev]
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs (32 comments total)

Good stuff, as always.
posted by Don.Kinsayder at 7:59 AM on May 6, 2022

This was exactly like an article in The Onion: funny idea followed by progressively less funny text until I finally stopped reading. You have to admire the dedication to the bit, though. It’s like you decided to wear something odd to the office—like swim trunks, fins and a snorkel—and by damn you’re making it to the end of the day even if nobody laughs. I looked at another one of his pieces and it was exactly similar—something about Plato’s cave and Atlantis. Ha.

However, if you crap yourself reading The Onion this is very likely to be your jam. Comedy is hard, and tastes are notably variable. Lord knows we can use a smile…
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 8:06 AM on May 6, 2022 [10 favorites]

Liege Lord knows.
posted by emelenjr at 8:17 AM on May 6, 2022 [7 favorites]

Danny Lavery’s Substack allows him to do really niche writing. Sometimes that niche is inside baseball on trans issues. Sometimes it’s imitating historical fiction or primary sources. This is the latter. I for one really enjoy it.
posted by Countess Elena at 8:28 AM on May 6, 2022 [10 favorites]

I thought it was funny. It was also interesting because presumably draws on actual historical oaths of fealty - I had only a vague idea of what might go into them, and now my idea is less vague.

It's funny because it's a bit long and mild - some things are funny in an intense burst that makes you fall over laughing and some things are funny slowly.
posted by Frowner at 8:39 AM on May 6, 2022 [13 favorites]

Metafilter: Funny slowly
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:57 AM on May 6, 2022 [6 favorites]

Thought this was about NYT reporters when the new owner took over.
posted by fleacircus at 9:12 AM on May 6, 2022

I'm not somebody who believes that we need to be positive about everything that gets posted here, but the phrase "if you crap yourself reading the Onion" fairly reeks of condescension.
posted by Ipsifendus at 9:18 AM on May 6, 2022 [9 favorites]

if you crap yourself reading the Onion

depends
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:32 AM on May 6, 2022 [43 favorites]

a good poop joke really lightens the mood, thanks IRFH
posted by elkevelvet at 9:47 AM on May 6, 2022 [7 favorites]

I read it out loud in my best posh/RP accent. I laughed! Thank you for sharing.
posted by Doleful Creature at 9:51 AM on May 6, 2022 [2 favorites]

However, if you crap yourself reading The Onion this is very likely to be your jam.

Congratulations on finding a literally, actually shitty thing to say about people who like things you don't like. You must be so proud.
posted by jacquilynne at 10:45 AM on May 6, 2022 [10 favorites]

While perhaps not the height of comedic genius, this is at least 873x funnier than the Arrested Development reference someone invariably trots out in every single FPP which mentions bananas.
posted by 7segment at 10:49 AM on May 6, 2022 [6 favorites]

I have a difficult time describing this kind of humor, but it's definitely one of my favorite things. That sort of hammering an unfunny concept into the ground with sheer excess until the absurdity makes the unfunny funny is something I love. I mean, this single sentence, which just goes on and on and on, is so good.

I’d say that even if he wasn’t my liege lord, like if I merely encountered him in the course of my daily life, I would for sure kneel before his seated figure and offer him fealty, and hold all my lands in trust to him and to the heirs of his body, and that’s regardless of whether his lordship be inherited along the lines of Salic primogeniture or collateral lineage or even appanage as the Merovingians sometimes have it, or devolve by moiety, or junior right, or proximity of blood, or eligible tanistry from among the Chiefs of the Name, designation of allegiance, or whichever.
posted by TheKaijuCommuter at 10:58 AM on May 6, 2022 [9 favorites]

This is a satire of the way conservative evangelical women talk about marriage, right? So not just a piece of light comedy.
posted by verstegan at 11:03 AM on May 6, 2022 [9 favorites]

This is a satire of the way conservative evangelical women talk about marriage, right? So not just a piece of light comedy.

The way conservative evangelical women talk about marriage, the way Elongated Muskrat's stan army talks about him, the way tech bros in general talk about their big, horrible, monstrous tech companies and the leaders thereof... there's a lot to draw on in our current neofeudal society
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 11:09 AM on May 6, 2022 [26 favorites]

I thought it was hilarious. And it is like The Onion in that you get it from the headline and the body (which belongs to my Liege Lord) is optional. And like the Onion although the idea itself is the funny thing there are also little extra smiles in the text as the idea is explored.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 11:22 AM on May 6, 2022 [1 favorite]

Yeah I assumed it was prompted by the most current semi controversy involving Elongated Muskrat (I love this and am going to use it shamelessly forever now, thank you WpofiBH!) that prompted it but it sent me down a rabbit hole of googling the New Feudalism and that was rewarding. By rewarding I mean depressing but hey, yes, realizing that this idea - that we are heading directly into if not already in new or neo feudalism - is indeed out there and isn't just me shouting furiously into the wind was rewarding. Sometimes, however, I really wish I was just a harmless conspiracy minded crank and none of this stuff was even slightly true.
posted by mygothlaundry at 11:42 AM on May 6, 2022 [4 favorites]

Reeks of condensation, miasma is acting up. I eat onions, but not before evenings with my liege lord.
posted by Oyéah at 11:52 AM on May 6, 2022 [1 favorite]

Lavery hits and misses for me but I'll always read him.

At least it prompted me to learn what "appanage" was. I'm going to use it in the next permit application I have to submit.
posted by The Monster at the End of this Thread at 11:57 AM on May 6, 2022 [1 favorite]

this is at least 873x funnier than the Arrested Development reference someone invariably trots out in every single FPP which mentions bananas.

I mean it's one quote, 7segment; what could it cost?
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:12 PM on May 6, 2022 [15 favorites]

thank you for posting this link. it is very good.

takes this and scuttles off to show it to people who I know have fealty kinks
posted by All Might Be Well at 12:25 PM on May 6, 2022 [1 favorite]

ITS ONE BANANA REFERENCE HOW MUCH LESS FUNNY CAN IT BE 873X
posted by nebulawindphone at 12:27 PM on May 6, 2022 [6 favorites]

There's always funny in the banana stand.
posted by Earthtopus at 12:42 PM on May 6, 2022 [15 favorites]

I liked it because sometimes I think about how the whole lordship system in England evolved and how people would have had to like, say, think, and believe all of this, a lot of people. It's a whole belief system. Reminds me of in Downton Abbey when O'Brien the lady's maid was like "Look I get that I'm below his lordship but that other guy is just some guy." I mean they're all just some guy.
posted by bleep at 12:50 PM on May 6, 2022 [1 favorite]

I mean it's one quote, 7segment; what could it cost?

don't do it don't do it come on man don't do itaaaaaAAAAAAAAUGH TWENTY DOLLARS SAME AS IN TOWN
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 1:04 PM on May 6, 2022 [20 favorites]

Thank you for receiving and responding appropriately to the intense thought rays I was sending out when I made that comment.
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:07 PM on May 6, 2022 [5 favorites]

I thought it was hilarious. Now Daniel, stop playing Crusader Kings III and go to bed.
posted by chromecow at 2:34 PM on May 6, 2022 [1 favorite]

Sometimes these particular bits by Lavery have a slight whiff of the "OMG now that I've graduated from college how do I know I'm still smart if I don't make references" vibe that the Toast sometimes had. (Don't get me wrong; I was very fond of the Toast!) I think it just goes on about a third too long. But it's cute.
posted by praemunire at 3:12 PM on May 6, 2022 [1 favorite]

this approach smite just work
posted by lalochezia at 4:30 PM on May 6, 2022 [1 favorite]

Floatn around i hear folks talk about their bosses in this vein all time

course i also hear folk lambaste a boss in turn

sometimes same peeps too
posted by Rev. Irreverent Revenant at 9:16 AM on May 7, 2022

I liked: 'The Great Thing About The Movie "Amadeus" Is It's Just "What If Spock Absolutely Hated Kirk And Killed Him"'. Have to watch that film again.
posted by ovvl at 3:47 PM on May 9, 2022 [3 favorites]