“Mamma mia, I’m-a going to be middle-aged.”

May 25, 2022 3:49 PM

Simon Rich (Previously, Previously, Previously) writes yet again in the New Yorker, this time about the tribulations of Mario as he deals with aging: “Mario”

[N]ow that I’m-a in my forties I don’t really think about my body anymore, and when I do it’s-a to focus on the parts that I’m-a proud of, like my thick mustache and my big strong ass. And, honestly, I can’t tell you how liberating it is just to allow myself to feel-a sexy. Like, why can’t a short fat guy be sexy? I feel-a sexy, and I’m not afraid to say I feel-a sexy.

As a bit of a darker digestif, here’s Brian David Gilbert’s 2020 analysis of Mario’s long term plans: “When can Mario retire?”

posted by Going To Maine (17 comments total)

I enjoyed this but also was impressed by how many pages they allocated to the normally one-page Shouts and Murmurs.
posted by stevil at 4:04 PM on May 25, 2022 [2 favorites]

This was a double issue, which might explain it. Also American Pickle story was in four parts, so I think they just like to let Rich go nuts.
posted by Going To Maine at 4:12 PM on May 25, 2022

I feel-a sexy

Enjoy it while you can Mario, that feeling won't last more than 15 years or so... :/
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:13 PM on May 25, 2022 [2 favorites]

More slice-of-life Mario:
Thank You Mario but Your Princess is in Another Castle
posted by kaibutsu at 4:17 PM on May 25, 2022

That was fun to read. Not laugh-out-loud, but sweet all the same so thanks for sharing it, Going To Main.

Oh, and n-thing Greg_Ace’s comment. Physically, the 50s make it seem like you had adolescent super powers in your 40s.

Get busy 40-something folk!
posted by Lesser Spotted Potoroo at 4:56 PM on May 25, 2022 [6 favorites]

Idk if it’s a generational thing but I found this pretty tasteless.
posted by sibboleth at 5:07 PM on May 25, 2022 [1 favorite]

Which generation?
posted by Going To Maine at 5:51 PM on May 25, 2022 [1 favorite]

So... did everyone else read this in his voice for the entire thing?
posted by AlSweigart at 7:42 PM on May 25, 2022 [4 favorites]

I started lifting weights in my mid 30's, lost 80lbs, added some muscle, started doing cardio more recently. At 41 I'm better shape now than I ever have been and I'm competing in my 2nd powerlifting meet in August. Sometime in the next month or two I should start seeing my abs. Turns out I like lifting heavy things and lifting heavy things is kinda good for most bodies.

I had some lower back issues so I saw my PT and together we fixed. Shoulders too and a little sciatica. It gets a little better every day.

I can't imagine not trusting my wife or her not trusting me, that's just nonsense.

I had a full on mid-life crisis too so I called my doc, told him the deal, he referred me to a shrink and we went to work (ACT therapy represent!).

I was born in 1980, it's not a generational thing. I couldn't read it all. Geez Mario, get your shit together, it's hard but not that complicated and there are experts that can help.
posted by VTX at 7:54 PM on May 25, 2022 [2 favorites]

So… did everyone else read this in his voice for the entire thing?

I think that is a key part of the joy, for me.

I can't imagine not trusting my wife or her not trusting me, that's just nonsense.

I think that one of Mario’s problems here is that he & the Princess aren’t married, they just have some kind of nebulous long term thing going on, not like Luigi & Kwame.
posted by Going To Maine at 8:32 PM on May 25, 2022 [2 favorites]

VTX, glad things are working out for you, but your experience might not be everyone’s.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 9:21 PM on May 25, 2022 [3 favorites]

Hey, I linked this article from our gaming blog Set Side B a while ago! It's pretty cool.
posted by JHarris at 2:25 AM on May 26, 2022

Physically, the 50s make it seem like you had adolescent super powers in your 40s.

Around the age of 40 or so I started to speculate that if one were to suddenly find oneself inhabiting one's 18 year old body, one would be shocked at the difference in energy.

I'm now about to turn 65. I think that experience might make me explode. Super powers, indeed! ;->

(And, Mario, get a grip! 40s? You've got years of speedruns left in yer little pixelated body.)
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 3:38 AM on May 26, 2022 [1 favorite]

We need to make sure that Mario, and thousands of hard working independent contractors like him, have adequate coverage for these types of occupational hazards and diseases. That's why Labour is the right choice for the Mushroom Kingdom.
posted by voiceofreason at 6:37 AM on May 26, 2022 [2 favorites]

If you're just hitting your 50s, go to the gym now. If you're just hitting your 40s, go to the gym now. Seriously, go to the damn gym, however old you are. Eschew elevators, take the stairs. Go for walks. The plumbing may not always work as well as it used to but it's nice to have the strength and energy to do things. You get a body for free but it's on you to maintain it.

I just need to find some better shoes.
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:05 AM on May 26, 2022

Sir, this is an Sbarro.
posted by etc passwd at 7:44 AM on May 26, 2022 [2 favorites]

I got his last story collection (New Teeth) for Christmas and it was hilarious. Especially the one about a giant ape who , after repeatedly saving a city from giant monsters, is assigned a desk job . Spoiler alert: he struggles mightily.
posted by freecellwizard at 8:43 AM on May 26, 2022