An area where the egg will not roll away

June 30, 2022 10:07 AM

Without the presence of eggs, the average pigeon nest could pass as a coincidental aggregation of twigs or jumble of debris. To our human eyes, a pigeon nest looks objectively half-assed. It is a nest that seems to mock other nests. — Why Do Pigeon Nests Look So Shitty, Sabrina Imbler investigates for Defector
posted by Banknote of the year (37 comments total)

Pigeon
- Rejects the extravagances and hypocrisy of late-stage capitalism
- Doesn't care what you think anyways
- The only god is chaos
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:16 AM on June 30, 2022 [37 favorites]

Well this answered some questions I had about pigeons. THe beginning of life questions. I have lived in large cities (NYC, Chicago, etc) for most of my life. I have never seen a baby pigeon as far as I know. The end of life questions are still plaguing me. I have never seen a pigeon that died of natural causes. Where do pigeons go to die?
posted by JohnnyGunn at 10:16 AM on June 30, 2022 [1 favorite]

"Where do pigeons go to die?"

Into the stomachs of the other pigeons around it? It's pure conjecture here but them animals are not exactly the most collectivist creatures based on what I've seen.
posted by majick at 10:22 AM on June 30, 2022 [1 favorite]

There’s never a moment where the egg is not being sat on,”

Hold on.
posted by Going To Maine at 10:25 AM on June 30, 2022 [3 favorites]

There's an air shaft outside my apartment window that has been home to a band of pigeons for many generations. They usually raise their squabs in some corner. They also lay a lot of eggs that are ignored, presumably unfertilized.

They die there too and the other pigeons seem to ignore the remains. They'll lay an egg a few feet away from a decaying body.

Mostly though they have a fight club on my windowsill -- I assume to sort out their social hierarchy. I'm completely desensitized to the sound of rapid, irregular tapping on my windowpane.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 10:28 AM on June 30, 2022 [5 favorites]

I was once living away from my flat for about 8 months - when I returned I discovered a pigeon had managed to squeeze in through a partially open window and had built a nest entirely out of rusty nails. I have no idea where it was finding the nails or why it preferred them to the other plentiful forms of detritus to be found nearby. Amazingly, the chicks didn't seem to care, and all survived (I had to partition off that whole shit-covered section of my living room for several weeks and live in the remaining two thirds of the house because I couldn't find it in my heart to destroy the nest)
posted by silence at 10:42 AM on June 30, 2022 [43 favorites]

I should point out that it wasn't one of those zen-like minimalist nests from the article either - there were literally *hundreds* of nails, some quite heavy, carefully piled and arranged into a cosy Tetsuo cradle of pain
posted by silence at 10:50 AM on June 30, 2022 [33 favorites]

silence -- I would *love* to see a pigeon nest made entirely out of rusty nails. Please please tell me you have a photo. And then somehow let me see it. pleast
posted by amtho at 10:53 AM on June 30, 2022 [14 favorites]

‘Most humans, as non-birds, have no relevant expertise in evaluating whether a nest is good or bad.’
posted by lokta at 11:02 AM on June 30, 2022 [14 favorites]

A pigeon has no sense of private property.

They are probably happier than we are, too. Literally no one sends pigeons phishing emails or tries to get them to invest in crypto.
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:09 AM on June 30, 2022 [20 favorites]

There was a pigeon nest outside my window with two eggs. The next week there was one baby pigeon. After they moved out I cleaned up and realized there was a baby pigeon carcass squashed in the bottom. :(
Growing up in a nest made of your brother.
posted by bitslayer at 11:14 AM on June 30, 2022 [8 favorites]

@amtho - very bad picture I'm afraid, since the nest was squeezed into a gap undeath a desk and I surrounded it with plastic to try to contain the shit, it was a bit difficult to photograph. Also, by the time I took this photo the chicks had managed to knock most of the nails onto the floor, but here it is: https://photos.app.goo.gl/Mo6yYFPgHNrek28o9
posted by silence at 11:17 AM on June 30, 2022 [16 favorites]

Pigeon
- Rejects the extravagances and hypocrisy of late-stage capitalism
- Doesn't care what you think anyways
- The only god is chaos

Just calling attention to that link because - the dude has a whole Twitter thread of "critical analysis of nest styles" that's hysterical, and when I dug further I found way more science/naturalist writing content and I think I have someone new I want to check out. for reading material.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:19 AM on June 30, 2022 [2 favorites]

The Straight Dope on baby pigeons: Dear Cecil:

Re your recent comment on baby pigeons: don’t be fooled by false sightings from gullible bird lovers. The blunt truth is this: the pigeons you see all over the city are the baby pigeons. The adult has a wingspan of 8-12 feet. When they reach adulthood they fly to remote mountain fastnesses and live off the occasional tourist. I do not, however, subscribe to the theory that the adults will one day return en masse to wreak vengeance on us a la The Birds.

—Bob W., Melrose Park, Illinois
posted by TedW at 11:31 AM on June 30, 2022 [19 favorites]

the dude has a whole Twitter thread of "critical analysis of nest styles" that's hysterical

Utterly shameless self-link to an FPP from 2 years ago for that thread
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:39 AM on June 30, 2022 [6 favorites]

Judging by the number of two-dimensional pigeons I see on the streets of my city, I doubt any die of natural causes.
posted by adept256 at 12:28 PM on June 30, 2022 [2 favorites]

Back when I lived in an apartment building I had a pigeon couple build a nest on my balcony with three eggs. Even though I was unhappy to lose the space, I thought giving it up temporarily would be worth supporting the miracle of new life.

I was wrong. The first thing I learned (as mentioned in the OP) was that pigeons make their nest mostly out of their own shit. Gross. The second thing I learned is that Pigeons (and many birds) practice "Brood Reduction" where they'll hatch more chicks than they can support as a hedge against one of them being diseased. Only the fittest chicks get fed. I got to watch the other get ignored, wither and die right next to its well-fed siblings. Fun experience!
posted by Popular Ethics at 12:43 PM on June 30, 2022 [5 favorites]

"Where do pigeons go to die?"

The elephant graveyard.

Hey, nobody said they were smart.
posted by Splunge at 12:50 PM on June 30, 2022

I would *love* to see a pigeon nest made entirely out of rusty nails.

I believe the Brothers Quay have you covered.
posted by sonascope at 12:55 PM on June 30, 2022 [3 favorites]

"Where do pigeons go to die?"
The street to be run over by cars unless talked into keepin' on livin'.
posted by The_Vegetables at 1:02 PM on June 30, 2022

We've had two pigeon nesting attempts nicely set up with our windows as a viewing gallery this year. The first in a normal looking tree, we watched them build the nest, and as the pigeon parents did their shifts, until a single baby hatched. Then one morning the nest was ruined and all were gone. Maybe a cat, maybe some other avian. Then another pidge couple started building in the lowest bough of our biggest dracaena tree. This went badly last year, when a slightly windy day brought the nest down, but there was a bit more cover this year and it seemed to be working out ok. Pidge parent and chick are nicely nestled in the bough.
posted by biffa at 1:15 PM on June 30, 2022

Almost every day I think, other animals are way better than humans. And then sometimes I think about pigeons and say, aw, to hell with us all.

Though, a nest made of rusty nails is metal af.
posted by Don.Kinsayder at 1:34 PM on June 30, 2022 [4 favorites]

"Where do bad folk pigeons go when they die?
They don't go to Heaven where the angels fly
They go to the lake of fire and fry
See 'em again 'til the fourth of July"
posted by othrechaz at 2:12 PM on June 30, 2022 [2 favorites]

"Where do pigeons go to die?"

Well, I just did a Google image search for pigeon eaten by hawk and got a few thousand pictures of a pigeon getting its bloody guts ripped out.
posted by polecat at 2:44 PM on June 30, 2022

We had a pigeon nesting in a climbing rose just outside the living room window. Two eggs, then two chicks, which grew amazingly fast.

After the chicks left last week, I went outside and removed the nest, because the rose is going to need some major pruning. I found the nest to be a perfect, stereotypical bird's nest made from very neatly placed small twigs. Presumably as I'm in the countryside and have a garden with a couple of dead leylandii in one corner, the pigeon was able to find the materials to build a good quality nest.

Photo
posted by pipeski at 2:48 PM on June 30, 2022 [3 favorites]

built a nest entirely out of rusty nails

That is both literally and figuratively so fucking metal.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 2:54 PM on June 30, 2022 [8 favorites]

Rejects the extravagances and hypocrisy of late-stage capitalism

"Into the light of a dark black night"

You were only waiting for this moment to arise

posted by clavdivs at 3:34 PM on June 30, 2022 [1 favorite]

We had a pigeon nesting in a climbing rose just outside the living room window. [...] I found the nest to be a perfect, stereotypical bird's nest

That's a different species of pigeon, a 'wood pigeon': they nest in shrubs and trees and make more typical nests than the cliff-nesting feral pigeons of the cities.
posted by Pyry at 5:00 PM on June 30, 2022 [7 favorites]

The dove of peace is a stupid pigeon nesting in a pile of rusty nails.

(bass solo)
posted by The otter lady at 5:19 PM on June 30, 2022 [10 favorites]

There's a suspicious absence of pigeon shit in all those photos.

The bluejays hate him but this fella has been doing his best to reduce the amount of pigeon shit on my balcony.
posted by brachiopod at 6:19 PM on June 30, 2022 [3 favorites]

Thank you, silence! That photo gives a good feel for the thing. Very metal indeed. Also, that chick -- not fluffy.
posted by amtho at 7:13 PM on June 30, 2022

Rosemary Mosco does art and science that is totally worth following.

Fun fact about pigeons: City pigeons are normally, very, very sick because while they are capable of surviving as omnivores the diet they really want to eat is basically 98% millet. City pigeon droppings are nasty and usually full of microscopic parasites. A healthy pigeon, one that lives on a diet of grain has tidy clean, round little droppings, rather than the nasty smears they leave everywhere.

There are places where they plant millet fields so that they can do sport shooting of wild pigeons.

It's amazing how far pigeons can travel.
posted by Jane the Brown at 7:45 PM on June 30, 2022 [6 favorites]

→ wood pigeon

The thing I miss most about no longer living in Scotland is ... wood pigeons. Despite appearances of all the aerodynamic grace of an Antonov An-2, they can fly through impossibly dense thickets. They have comically tiny heads with an affronted look to them. They have the most demented call, a repeated boiling warble that cuts off sharply just as they're hitting a rhythm. I love them so.
posted by scruss at 10:01 PM on June 30, 2022 [5 favorites]

Where do pigeons go to die?

I once worked on level 30 of a tower office building in the centre of Sydney. One day my coworker excitedly called everyone to her desk where, outside on a little metal shelf, was a black falcon calmly dismembering and eating a pigeon carcass, and spattering the window with bloody feathers and bits. After that I'd often look out and see raptors.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 10:16 PM on June 30, 2022 [1 favorite]

Ah, my god, I love pigeons so much. My daughter and I are pigeon stans. We've emailed Rosemary Mosco to get her opinion on some pigeon behaviors we observed. I love their DGAF JUDGE ME BITCH nesting strategies, it's basically how I run my shitty house too. Best birds.
posted by potrzebie at 11:11 PM on June 30, 2022 [4 favorites]

Found an infant pigeon in Canberra, Australia once. Palm sized. Nest must've fallen off a building.

My girlfriend at the time was so upset that we drove around for hours looking for a vet to take it.

Takeaway: - yes baby pigeons exist.
posted by chmmr at 3:49 AM on July 1, 2022 [1 favorite]

I get wood pigeons and collared doves perching on my roof and chimney. They have distinctly different calls, and for some reason I'm completely unable to remember which is which. I'll see one actually doing it, make a mental note, and then the next time I hear one from inside, nope, it's gone again.

There's also a colony of feral pigeons living in a shrouded boat that's been up on dry land at the local boatyard for as long as I've been living here; as you walk past, you hear the coos echoing from inside. And stock doves and turtle doves like to hang out in a copse nearby. It makes me quietly happy that I live somewhere that supports the complete set (assuming we count feral pigeons as rock doves).

I particularly love watching a flock of any size (and of any kind) wheeling about in the air. I don't think pigeons get enough credit for their flight skills.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 4:09 AM on July 1, 2022 [1 favorite]