Photographs by Marna Clarke
September 4, 2022 3:12 AM Subscribe
I am 81 years old, my partner 92. On my 70th birthday, I woke from a dream in which I had rounded a corner and seen the end. This disturbing dream moved me to begin photographing the two of us, chronicling our time together, growing old.
Via Three Quarks Daily
Via Three Quarks Daily
Hands On Chest is very beautiful. So much history shown so clearly.
posted by flabdablet at 5:18 AM on September 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 5:18 AM on September 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
It is interesting. I don't look forward to being frail, but then again, my middle-aged body is already worse compared to my youth. She mentions mental acuity, but we don't know much about their lives. I really enjoy what I do and my connections with other people and I feel like I would still enjoy life as long as I had these things. I guess maybe because this is positioned as documentation of "growing old" it seems inherently about decline. Compared to say, photos of the past ten years of David Attenborough's life, which would be about narrating thirty new documentary series about nature.
posted by snofoam at 5:19 AM on September 4, 2022
posted by snofoam at 5:19 AM on September 4, 2022
I am quite sure that Attenborough would have plenty of useful things to say about personal decline as well, if anybody bothered to ask him about it.
posted by flabdablet at 5:24 AM on September 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by flabdablet at 5:24 AM on September 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
I’m sure he would! I guess, to me, this is sadder because maybe we don’t know about some awesome part of their life. Though we can see caring and cooperation.
posted by snofoam at 6:42 AM on September 4, 2022
posted by snofoam at 6:42 AM on September 4, 2022
Since they are autobiographical photos I see them as a way the artist is exploring her own body and aging process which I found very beautiful and thought provoking. The photo of her husband doing squats was affecting for me as you can see the shape of his skeleton with such clarity. In some ways aging confronts us all with the fact that we are embodied - something many of us avoid thinking about.
posted by latkes at 6:48 AM on September 4, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by latkes at 6:48 AM on September 4, 2022 [6 favorites]
It's really beautiful work! If you click through to her website there is a much bigger range of work to see - all with that specific, intimate feeling. I like the clear-eyed feeling of observing without judgement but with some sympathy.
posted by leslies at 6:57 AM on September 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by leslies at 6:57 AM on September 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
The artist's site with portfolio. Memories is particularly moving; pairing decades-old photos with new ones.
posted by Nelson at 7:51 AM on September 4, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by Nelson at 7:51 AM on September 4, 2022 [3 favorites]
I liked these images quite a bit. The one of him in the hospital is terrific.
I do take offense to the narrative accompanying them. The photos present the weathered skin, the veiny legs, the skeletal frame. They don’t claim to be more than what they show--a man on a couch, people changing a lightbulb.
To muck it up with the garbled sentimental verbiage of an AARP commercial ("demanding and courageous task of growing old gracefully, graciously, and aware") dilutes it all. What is does “growing old gracefully” even mean?
These days I am caretaking someone who is aging out, so am particularly put off by this kind of bullshit rhetoric.
But really liked the photos!
posted by rhonzo at 7:52 AM on September 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
I do take offense to the narrative accompanying them. The photos present the weathered skin, the veiny legs, the skeletal frame. They don’t claim to be more than what they show--a man on a couch, people changing a lightbulb.
To muck it up with the garbled sentimental verbiage of an AARP commercial ("demanding and courageous task of growing old gracefully, graciously, and aware") dilutes it all. What is does “growing old gracefully” even mean?
These days I am caretaking someone who is aging out, so am particularly put off by this kind of bullshit rhetoric.
But really liked the photos!
posted by rhonzo at 7:52 AM on September 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
In some ways aging confronts us all with the fact that we are embodied - something many of us avoid thinking about.
Never too late to start, and the earlier you do, the less time you'll waste on propping up delusions that can only ever contribute to spurious anxiety.
What does “growing old gracefully” even mean?
For me, so far, it means learning to move more effectively and efficiently, making proper allowances for the slowing rate at which I recover from disease and injury, and minimizing the amount of sourness I inflict on the people around me after my inevitable failures to do these things. But I'm only 60, so I'm sure I have a lot left to learn.
posted by flabdablet at 8:03 AM on September 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
Never too late to start, and the earlier you do, the less time you'll waste on propping up delusions that can only ever contribute to spurious anxiety.
What does “growing old gracefully” even mean?
For me, so far, it means learning to move more effectively and efficiently, making proper allowances for the slowing rate at which I recover from disease and injury, and minimizing the amount of sourness I inflict on the people around me after my inevitable failures to do these things. But I'm only 60, so I'm sure I have a lot left to learn.
posted by flabdablet at 8:03 AM on September 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
I do take offense to the narrative accompanying them.
I kind of agree, but the text was written by the photographer, as far as I can tell. But the introductory part was very different from the neutral descriptive text captioning each photo. So, she kinda both does and doesn't claim the photos are more than what they show.
learning to move more effectively and efficiently
Makes me think of this awesome video, which I think is partially about that.
posted by snofoam at 8:21 AM on September 4, 2022
I kind of agree, but the text was written by the photographer, as far as I can tell. But the introductory part was very different from the neutral descriptive text captioning each photo. So, she kinda both does and doesn't claim the photos are more than what they show.
learning to move more effectively and efficiently
Makes me think of this awesome video, which I think is partially about that.
posted by snofoam at 8:21 AM on September 4, 2022
(I like to darkly imagine that David Attenborough has an evil entourage like Michael Jackson, withholding all the good meds each day until he reads three episodes worth of voice overs.)
(Also, there's so much David Attenborough voice samples available that I expect we'll be listening to AI generated David Attenborough voice until the end of time.)
posted by kaibutsu at 9:23 AM on September 4, 2022
(Also, there's so much David Attenborough voice samples available that I expect we'll be listening to AI generated David Attenborough voice until the end of time.)
posted by kaibutsu at 9:23 AM on September 4, 2022
My husband and I are visiting his mother, who has just entered hospice. These are beautiful.
posted by PussKillian at 12:41 PM on September 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by PussKillian at 12:41 PM on September 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
Beautiful photographs. I particularly like the one of her legs in the morning sunlight.
posted by essexjan at 1:58 PM on September 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by essexjan at 1:58 PM on September 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
I just realized that my discussion of David Attenborough's evil handlers was posted to the wrong thread. Apologies. The photos here are indeed lovely.
posted by kaibutsu at 8:22 PM on September 5, 2022
posted by kaibutsu at 8:22 PM on September 5, 2022
I’m sure he would! I guess, to me, this is sadder because maybe we don’t know about some awesome part of their life. Though we can see caring and cooperation.
I mean...most of us aren't David Attenborough? I don't have some secret "awesome" part of my life; it's just waking up every day in this stupid crumbling meatsack and doing some super basic boring shit until it's time to lie back down in the stupid crumbling meatsack again. I have a partner whose meatsack is also crumbling and we just sort of bumble through our days together, and if it were documented, this is what it would look like.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 8:48 AM on September 6, 2022 [1 favorite]
I mean...most of us aren't David Attenborough? I don't have some secret "awesome" part of my life; it's just waking up every day in this stupid crumbling meatsack and doing some super basic boring shit until it's time to lie back down in the stupid crumbling meatsack again. I have a partner whose meatsack is also crumbling and we just sort of bumble through our days together, and if it were documented, this is what it would look like.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 8:48 AM on September 6, 2022 [1 favorite]
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posted by Phanx at 4:10 AM on September 4, 2022