Let the Fun Begin
January 5, 2023 5:59 AM Subscribe
In October 2020, a post on indie romance author Susan Meachen’s Facebook page, allegedly written by her daughter, announced that Meachen had tragically died by suicide a month earlier. This news was followed by more posts from Meachen’s “daughter” (on Meachen’s account) in the author’s private writers group, The Ward, suggesting her mother took her own life because her peers in the online indie book community bullied her. In light of this horrible news, authors and online friends helped fund Meachen’s funeral, created an anti-bullying anthology in her memory, and offered to help her daughter edit her mother’s final book, free of charge. On Monday—over two years later—Meachen’s account posted something new in The Ward. This time, it was Susan saying she’s actually been alive this whole time.
I hear about someone doing this every couple of years. It never, ever, ends well.
After two years, she probably should have just stayed away.
posted by Merus at 6:13 AM on January 5, 2023 [4 favorites]
After two years, she probably should have just stayed away.
posted by Merus at 6:13 AM on January 5, 2023 [4 favorites]
Based on my past experience rubbernecking fake suicides in the knitting community, my guess is that it will turn out she owed someone -- an editor? a ghostwriter? -- money that she didn't have. My alternate guess is that she was about to be outed for plagiarism / copyright / ghostwriting.
I hear about someone doing this every couple of years. It never, ever, ends well.
I mean, what would be the possible good outcome of a faked suicide?
A question this story brings to mind. Do these fake suicides happen in male-dominated spaces? I can't tell if I only hear about them involving women because my interests are largely female-coded, because coverage of this sort of thing is misogynist in some way, or because generally speaking it is only women who do this? Or maybe it is just such a small sample size that you can't conclude anything, really.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:19 AM on January 5, 2023 [28 favorites]
I hear about someone doing this every couple of years. It never, ever, ends well.
I mean, what would be the possible good outcome of a faked suicide?
A question this story brings to mind. Do these fake suicides happen in male-dominated spaces? I can't tell if I only hear about them involving women because my interests are largely female-coded, because coverage of this sort of thing is misogynist in some way, or because generally speaking it is only women who do this? Or maybe it is just such a small sample size that you can't conclude anything, really.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:19 AM on January 5, 2023 [28 favorites]
I tried to read the Jezebel article, but I was unable to finish it because gales of laughter threatened and I was in a public place. No, suicide is not funny at all, but I have seen so, so many shitstorms that look like different parts of this in various writing communities, and this one seems decidedly extra. This kind of passion and drama deserves the Christopher Guest treatment, with a subplot involving knitting community hijinks (or perhaps vice versa).
posted by cupcakeninja at 6:25 AM on January 5, 2023 [8 favorites]
posted by cupcakeninja at 6:25 AM on January 5, 2023 [8 favorites]
Tell me more about these knitting community hijinks. Now I’m really curious.
posted by interogative mood at 6:43 AM on January 5, 2023 [17 favorites]
posted by interogative mood at 6:43 AM on January 5, 2023 [17 favorites]
I should clarify, actually, that in other cases I am aware of the faked deaths weren't (necessarily) suicides. I misspoke in calling them all faked suicides rather than deaths.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:48 AM on January 5, 2023
posted by jacquilynne at 6:48 AM on January 5, 2023
Tell me more about these knitting community hijinks. Now I’m really curious.
It looks like nobody made a thread for the "dudebros decide to disrupt Ravelry, get severely owned" shenanigans last year, but the moral of the story was: don't fuck with Ravelry, dudebros
posted by Tom Hanks Cannot Be Trusted at 6:50 AM on January 5, 2023 [25 favorites]
It looks like nobody made a thread for the "dudebros decide to disrupt Ravelry, get severely owned" shenanigans last year, but the moral of the story was: don't fuck with Ravelry, dudebros
posted by Tom Hanks Cannot Be Trusted at 6:50 AM on January 5, 2023 [25 favorites]
One thing that has changed over the years - social media means that pseuicides in previously more sequestered communities are visible to the internet as a whole. Is this good because it will discourage them due to worldwide mockery? Is it bad because worldwide mockery is frankly excessive given that in general people who do this don't have great coping skills and are maybe struggling with some mental health stuff anyway? I guess time will tell.
I saw this on twitter and, like everyone else, I rubbernecked a bit, but on reflection I think that while a small community mocking and gossiping over this stuff is okay, the whole of social media is a bit counterproductive. I'm not sure how we get to "appropriately sized gossip", though.
posted by Frowner at 6:52 AM on January 5, 2023 [17 favorites]
I saw this on twitter and, like everyone else, I rubbernecked a bit, but on reflection I think that while a small community mocking and gossiping over this stuff is okay, the whole of social media is a bit counterproductive. I'm not sure how we get to "appropriately sized gossip", though.
posted by Frowner at 6:52 AM on January 5, 2023 [17 favorites]
A question this story brings to mind. Do these fake suicides happen in male-dominated spaces?
My friend pointed out a while ago that the great majority of the race-fakers whose deceptions have come to light are women (I can think of only one man in recent years). Factitious disorder (where people state or believe on some level) that they have medical disorders they do not have is more common in women.
I do think there is something specific about women-coded interactions that seems to reward or allow for these deceptions that depend on interpersonal connections, trust, guilt, and empathy for success.
posted by latkes at 6:56 AM on January 5, 2023 [7 favorites]
My friend pointed out a while ago that the great majority of the race-fakers whose deceptions have come to light are women (I can think of only one man in recent years). Factitious disorder (where people state or believe on some level) that they have medical disorders they do not have is more common in women.
I do think there is something specific about women-coded interactions that seems to reward or allow for these deceptions that depend on interpersonal connections, trust, guilt, and empathy for success.
posted by latkes at 6:56 AM on January 5, 2023 [7 favorites]
The notable occurrance of faked death on Metafilter was done by someone male, iirc. I can't recall hearing of any of the longer-form, "dying of cancer" fake deaths done by men, though.
posted by restless_nomad at 7:00 AM on January 5, 2023 [12 favorites]
posted by restless_nomad at 7:00 AM on January 5, 2023 [12 favorites]
It feels like only yesterday when Metafilter had its very own pseuicide, in 2012 (or at least the only one I know of here), although because Mefites are Mefites, it didn't even last a week, thankfully:
https://metatalk.metafilter.com/21728/This-is-how-I-tell-it-ohhhhhhhhhh-but-its-long
https://metatalk.metafilter.com/21740/holdkris99s-death-was-a-hoax
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/man-fakes-death-online-bad-experiment-or-joke-or-whatever-flna794639
posted by theatro at 7:02 AM on January 5, 2023 [23 favorites]
https://metatalk.metafilter.com/21728/This-is-how-I-tell-it-ohhhhhhhhhh-but-its-long
https://metatalk.metafilter.com/21740/holdkris99s-death-was-a-hoax
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/man-fakes-death-online-bad-experiment-or-joke-or-whatever-flna794639
posted by theatro at 7:02 AM on January 5, 2023 [23 favorites]
Is this good because it will discourage them due to worldwide mockery?
I think this is actually a possibility. Well, maybe. Romance self-publishing does not really have...sort of social guardrails? I don't want to use words like "professionalism" and "best practices" because I think that sets up the usual dichotomy of self-published writers being trash compared to Real Writers...but there's definitely a difference in how successful self-published writers treat social media, their readers and their community, and the sort of swarming chaos you see among writers who are not successful. There should be some sort of pressure from the outside suggesting that it's a bad idea to fake one's death (or whatever other flame-outs people do, throwing away their nascent careers). (And of course there should also be community support from the inside, but I'll mention in the drama flame-outs I've been witness to, the internal support hasn't really helped when people are determined to blow up.)
posted by mittens at 7:07 AM on January 5, 2023 [3 favorites]
I think this is actually a possibility. Well, maybe. Romance self-publishing does not really have...sort of social guardrails? I don't want to use words like "professionalism" and "best practices" because I think that sets up the usual dichotomy of self-published writers being trash compared to Real Writers...but there's definitely a difference in how successful self-published writers treat social media, their readers and their community, and the sort of swarming chaos you see among writers who are not successful. There should be some sort of pressure from the outside suggesting that it's a bad idea to fake one's death (or whatever other flame-outs people do, throwing away their nascent careers). (And of course there should also be community support from the inside, but I'll mention in the drama flame-outs I've been witness to, the internal support hasn't really helped when people are determined to blow up.)
posted by mittens at 7:07 AM on January 5, 2023 [3 favorites]
Really the difference, from my observations (I have a lot of tradpub friends and a fair number of self-pub friends) is that tradpub authors pretty much *have* to get along with at least some people, and it is often very advantageous to their careers to get along with a lot of people, whereas it is technically possible for a self-pub author to be entirely self-contained.
posted by restless_nomad at 7:21 AM on January 5, 2023 [8 favorites]
posted by restless_nomad at 7:21 AM on January 5, 2023 [8 favorites]
I too was reading about this on Jezebel yesterday, and my reaction is that that's just an awful thing to do. Especially if you're a fan who may lost someone to suicide too.
What is the end game the author is looking for here? I didn't really get much depth from the Jezebel article about that.
posted by Kitteh at 7:26 AM on January 5, 2023 [1 favorite]
What is the end game the author is looking for here? I didn't really get much depth from the Jezebel article about that.
posted by Kitteh at 7:26 AM on January 5, 2023 [1 favorite]
Do these fake suicides happen in male-dominated spaces?
I remember them happening a lot in the old days of the internet, and there being a lot of men who did it, usually it would be reported by "the girlfriend" who was actually the man himself.
posted by corb at 7:27 AM on January 5, 2023 [14 favorites]
I remember them happening a lot in the old days of the internet, and there being a lot of men who did it, usually it would be reported by "the girlfriend" who was actually the man himself.
posted by corb at 7:27 AM on January 5, 2023 [14 favorites]
I do think there is something specific about women-coded interactions that seems to reward or allow for these deceptions that depend on interpersonal connections, trust, guilt, and empathy for success.
There are some scams that use a person's worst instincts against them, their greed, their hybris, the desire to scam someone else. And there are scams that exploit a person's best side, their compassion, their generosity. Faked-deaths belong firmly to the latter category, and they might indeed be more common in female spaces, where people are more likely (or simply more expected, due to social convention) to show compassion and generosity.
Metafilter is a mixed-gender space that places a high value on compassion and generosity as well, and so we predictably also had our faked-death hoax. The culprit was male. But for men going for that angle, the pickings are probably slimmer. I mean, I wouldn't be looking for compassion and generosity on 4chan.
posted by sohalt at 7:37 AM on January 5, 2023 [5 favorites]
There are some scams that use a person's worst instincts against them, their greed, their hybris, the desire to scam someone else. And there are scams that exploit a person's best side, their compassion, their generosity. Faked-deaths belong firmly to the latter category, and they might indeed be more common in female spaces, where people are more likely (or simply more expected, due to social convention) to show compassion and generosity.
Metafilter is a mixed-gender space that places a high value on compassion and generosity as well, and so we predictably also had our faked-death hoax. The culprit was male. But for men going for that angle, the pickings are probably slimmer. I mean, I wouldn't be looking for compassion and generosity on 4chan.
posted by sohalt at 7:37 AM on January 5, 2023 [5 favorites]
Metafilter: rubbernecking fake suicides in the knitting community
Wait, what?? This is a thing? *head explodes*
posted by Melismata at 8:00 AM on January 5, 2023 [7 favorites]
Wait, what?? This is a thing? *head explodes*
posted by Melismata at 8:00 AM on January 5, 2023 [7 favorites]
Melismata, it's totally a thing! I read all about it on Tumblr but sadly searching for something you read on Tumblr is completely impossible. Google is not much more help, it turns up specific instances but I can't find an aggregation. Anyway it's common enough that I simply nodded in acknowledgement when I read jacquilynne's comment.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 8:11 AM on January 5, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by Lawn Beaver at 8:11 AM on January 5, 2023 [1 favorite]
Also reading through the MeTa thread about the 2012 instance of fakery here, I am so sad to see many long-time users who've disabled their accounts and left this place. I guess I've finally been here long enough to feel this way?
posted by Lawn Beaver at 8:14 AM on January 5, 2023 [7 favorites]
posted by Lawn Beaver at 8:14 AM on January 5, 2023 [7 favorites]
I'm a fandom Old, and IME fandom has had a lot of faked deaths, although fewer faked suicides. Often they involved people who already presented themselves as dramatic and unusual: a 22-year-old mother of twins who already has a Master's in Classical Archaeology, who is biracial and queer and a successful writer of romance novels on the side while she homeschools her kids and volunteers in the local soup kitchen. Often they assert some kind of illness or disability.
They are extremely on-line and love to be the center of attention, and always have an explanation for why they are so amazing. Over time these explanations get cumulatively less believable, but in the moment most other community members are not likely to challenge them. There are amazing people on the internet, after all.
I'm not sure what the trigger is for deciding to kill off the persona, though: maybe failing to meet a commitment within the community, or feeling some other kind of existential threat.
One thing I have noticed is that when the suspenders of believability begin to fray, that causes a great deal of distress and discord within the community. People who consider Her a friend will spring to her defense, which only feeds her own glee at the drama she has created.
It's really upsetting for the community as a whole, as those MeFites know who were here in 2012. I've been in multiple other communities where it has happened, and it has certainly affected my willingness to believe everything told me by someone on the internet...
posted by suelac at 8:32 AM on January 5, 2023 [11 favorites]
They are extremely on-line and love to be the center of attention, and always have an explanation for why they are so amazing. Over time these explanations get cumulatively less believable, but in the moment most other community members are not likely to challenge them. There are amazing people on the internet, after all.
I'm not sure what the trigger is for deciding to kill off the persona, though: maybe failing to meet a commitment within the community, or feeling some other kind of existential threat.
One thing I have noticed is that when the suspenders of believability begin to fray, that causes a great deal of distress and discord within the community. People who consider Her a friend will spring to her defense, which only feeds her own glee at the drama she has created.
It's really upsetting for the community as a whole, as those MeFites know who were here in 2012. I've been in multiple other communities where it has happened, and it has certainly affected my willingness to believe everything told me by someone on the internet...
posted by suelac at 8:32 AM on January 5, 2023 [11 favorites]
It looks like nobody made a thread for the "dudebros decide to disrupt Ravelry, get severely owned" shenanigans last year, but the moral of the story was: don't fuck with Ravelry, dudebros
Yes they did! It's here: A gripping yarn: inside the Knitting.com drama
Do not fuck with the pointy stick brigade.
posted by automatronic at 8:59 AM on January 5, 2023 [9 favorites]
Yes they did! It's here: A gripping yarn: inside the Knitting.com drama
Do not fuck with the pointy stick brigade.
posted by automatronic at 8:59 AM on January 5, 2023 [9 favorites]
I had a front row seat to an online faked cancer diagnosis/ fundraising debacle that involved a friend of my ex's. Since I knew them IRL, I saw the holes in their story and told my ex they were faking, which he did not take well. I still feel guilty because they were donated money by their online community for fake treatment, but I wasn't part of that community so had no standing to call them out.
The person doing the scamming was definitely not well or happy, but because they told so many wild stories about their past it was impossible to know how much was made up. They've since moved on and I assume are telling new tales to new friends.
posted by emjaybee at 9:07 AM on January 5, 2023
The person doing the scamming was definitely not well or happy, but because they told so many wild stories about their past it was impossible to know how much was made up. They've since moved on and I assume are telling new tales to new friends.
posted by emjaybee at 9:07 AM on January 5, 2023
If you're curious about the "owner of a small yarn business fakes own death" stories, which have happened more than once, there's a good writeup of the Mystical Creations incident here on /r/HobbyDrama.
posted by Jeanne at 9:08 AM on January 5, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by Jeanne at 9:08 AM on January 5, 2023 [2 favorites]
The earliest case I know of involves a faked death over Star Wars zines that didn't get printed because the lady in charge was overwhelmed. I'm sure that's not the earliest case there is, but that's only using a narrow definition of the grift as "a person faking their own death remotely while continuing to live as themselves in their community."
posted by Countess Elena at 9:17 AM on January 5, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by Countess Elena at 9:17 AM on January 5, 2023 [1 favorite]
Do not fuck with the pointy stick brigade.
I want this on a T-shirt.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:20 AM on January 5, 2023 [6 favorites]
I want this on a T-shirt.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:20 AM on January 5, 2023 [6 favorites]
If you enjoy (?) stories about faked deaths in niche communities, I recommend the "pocket watch" episode of the podcast Normal Gossip.
posted by leftover_scrabble_rack at 10:41 AM on January 5, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by leftover_scrabble_rack at 10:41 AM on January 5, 2023 [2 favorites]
The closest I got to an online faked death was someone in my fandom circles on Livejournal who claimed to be suffering from a debilitatingly painful disease. Then her "friend and neighbor" showed up and friended people.
Pretty soon after that, the "friend and neighbor" reported that X had finally died of her horrible disease, and there was an outpouring of grief. X's account kept posting art and fic that "friend and neighbor" said X had set them up to be auto-posted before X's tragic death. "Friend and neighbor" continued to interact with X's friends, and one of them got suspicious.
Not long after that, X showed back up, claimed she'd been in the hospital, and that she had no idea that "Fake friend and neighbor" was claiming that she was dead. When people started expressing skepticism, X nuked her livejournal from orbit.
My read on X was that what she wanted from this was attention--sort of like getting to hear the speeches that people would make at your funeral. It seemed pretty sad to me. She was a decent artist and seemed to get a fair amount of attention for that, but for some reason it wasn't enough, so she did something that most people found unforgiveable and torched most of her online friendships over it.
posted by creepygirl at 10:42 AM on January 5, 2023 [2 favorites]
Pretty soon after that, the "friend and neighbor" reported that X had finally died of her horrible disease, and there was an outpouring of grief. X's account kept posting art and fic that "friend and neighbor" said X had set them up to be auto-posted before X's tragic death. "Friend and neighbor" continued to interact with X's friends, and one of them got suspicious.
Not long after that, X showed back up, claimed she'd been in the hospital, and that she had no idea that "Fake friend and neighbor" was claiming that she was dead. When people started expressing skepticism, X nuked her livejournal from orbit.
My read on X was that what she wanted from this was attention--sort of like getting to hear the speeches that people would make at your funeral. It seemed pretty sad to me. She was a decent artist and seemed to get a fair amount of attention for that, but for some reason it wasn't enough, so she did something that most people found unforgiveable and torched most of her online friendships over it.
posted by creepygirl at 10:42 AM on January 5, 2023 [2 favorites]
Do these fake suicides happen in male-dominated spaces?
It has happened three times that I can think of in the Internet Wrestling Community, but two of them were women.
posted by Etrigan at 10:52 AM on January 5, 2023 [3 favorites]
It has happened three times that I can think of in the Internet Wrestling Community, but two of them were women.
posted by Etrigan at 10:52 AM on January 5, 2023 [3 favorites]
More on this at Dlisted.
She claimed that her family “did what they thought was best for me” by pretending she killed herself. Ah, yes.
I almost died again at my own hand and they had to go through all that hell again.
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:01 AM on January 5, 2023
She claimed that her family “did what they thought was best for me” by pretending she killed herself. Ah, yes.
I almost died again at my own hand and they had to go through all that hell again.
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:01 AM on January 5, 2023
Wow. I’ve been reading Metafilter for about ten years and thought I knew pretty much all the stories (Scott Adams sockpuppet bullshit! Saving women from potential sex trafficking!) but I completely missed “popular user fakes his own death”.
posted by skycrashesdown at 11:33 AM on January 5, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by skycrashesdown at 11:33 AM on January 5, 2023 [3 favorites]
It has happened three times that I can think of in the Internet Wrestling Community
Did they come back as heels?
posted by gc at 11:38 AM on January 5, 2023 [4 favorites]
Did they come back as heels?
posted by gc at 11:38 AM on January 5, 2023 [4 favorites]
Another twist on this sort of sick scam, Munchausen's by internet, a need for attention or enjoyment of manipulating people.
I've (probably?) mentioned here that I first found Mefi 20 years ago while researching such scams, after I'd been taken in by one. That led me to Kaycee Nicole. In retrospect, I wonder if my sick hoaxer was inspired by KN.
Mine started on an athlete's fan page. "Sickly girl." I even sent her a tape of the athlete's performances. This followed by her "aunt" announcing the death, and the gradual questions. ("Why can't we find an obit?")
Eventually on my own I traced the communications as coming from a male employee at an Iowa hospital.
But that was two decades past. How today, with even more ways to investigate, does someone get away with faking their death online for 2 years?
posted by NorthernLite at 12:33 PM on January 5, 2023 [6 favorites]
I've (probably?) mentioned here that I first found Mefi 20 years ago while researching such scams, after I'd been taken in by one. That led me to Kaycee Nicole. In retrospect, I wonder if my sick hoaxer was inspired by KN.
Mine started on an athlete's fan page. "Sickly girl." I even sent her a tape of the athlete's performances. This followed by her "aunt" announcing the death, and the gradual questions. ("Why can't we find an obit?")
Eventually on my own I traced the communications as coming from a male employee at an Iowa hospital.
But that was two decades past. How today, with even more ways to investigate, does someone get away with faking their death online for 2 years?
posted by NorthernLite at 12:33 PM on January 5, 2023 [6 favorites]
I guess I've finally been here long enough to feel this way?
Yea, and now we refer to you as get off of my lawn beaver.
posted by terrapin at 1:58 PM on January 5, 2023 [5 favorites]
Yea, and now we refer to you as get off of my lawn beaver.
posted by terrapin at 1:58 PM on January 5, 2023 [5 favorites]
I guess I'm just too jaded or cynical (or both). I have no time or energy for this sort of drama and attention-seeking. She's probably someone who also whined that there's too much drama in her life and ... wwwhhhhhhyyyyy?
posted by hydra77 at 2:01 PM on January 5, 2023
posted by hydra77 at 2:01 PM on January 5, 2023
Buzzfeed News: The Indie Author Who Faked Her Own Death Shook The Online Book Community With A Truly Wild Plot Twist
posted by jenfullmoon at 4:19 PM on January 5, 2023
posted by jenfullmoon at 4:19 PM on January 5, 2023
Another great write-up of a related story.
posted by Busy Old Fool at 5:45 PM on January 5, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by Busy Old Fool at 5:45 PM on January 5, 2023 [1 favorite]
In my own encounter with an internet death-faker, she claimed to have rapidly progressing cancer. (In classic fictional style, her scans "lit up like a Christmas tree.") She'd already purported to be the survivor of a devastating fire, for which she solicited donations, and was also pregnant with triplets, but then had to abort one to save the others. These twins boosted her credibility with some skeptics, as she did often post photos of her with the babies (who turned out to be the kids of a relative), though her husband was always curiously absent. But he was a lumberjack...or maybe it was some other weirdly dated "sexy" job...so he had an odd schedule, you see!
When said husband posted a death thread, complete with a newspaper obituary, much woe was woed. Until someone with similar, even more dramatic life details began posting elsewhere with the same photos, not realizing the communities had overlap, and the truth came out.
The fake obituary was honestly sort of impressive; if anything, you'd expect fakery in service of the profitable lie (the fire). But then, I imagine the affirmation that she was someone worth mourning carried more value than money.
posted by desert outpost at 7:39 PM on January 5, 2023 [1 favorite]
When said husband posted a death thread, complete with a newspaper obituary, much woe was woed. Until someone with similar, even more dramatic life details began posting elsewhere with the same photos, not realizing the communities had overlap, and the truth came out.
The fake obituary was honestly sort of impressive; if anything, you'd expect fakery in service of the profitable lie (the fire). But then, I imagine the affirmation that she was someone worth mourning carried more value than money.
posted by desert outpost at 7:39 PM on January 5, 2023 [1 favorite]
It has happened three times that I can think of in the Internet Wrestling Community, but two of them were women.
I was looking for one that I misremembered the details to which sent me to a bunch of still existing angelfire and tripod sites because I though the person was a tape trader. Finally found it via reddit which led to a forum that I used to read that is populated by old RSPW people. I think the most succinct summary of the event is this quote from the forum: "I'm tired of reviewing wrestling and would rather review Korean cinema....Clearly, I should stage my own death, so as to best make the transition from one to the other."
posted by LostInUbe at 8:04 PM on January 5, 2023 [3 favorites]
I was looking for one that I misremembered the details to which sent me to a bunch of still existing angelfire and tripod sites because I though the person was a tape trader. Finally found it via reddit which led to a forum that I used to read that is populated by old RSPW people. I think the most succinct summary of the event is this quote from the forum: "I'm tired of reviewing wrestling and would rather review Korean cinema....Clearly, I should stage my own death, so as to best make the transition from one to the other."
posted by LostInUbe at 8:04 PM on January 5, 2023 [3 favorites]
What is the end game the author is looking for here?
Sometimes it's a grift, looking for donations. But I think quite often it's about short-term relief from an intolerable (self-afflicted) situation. Someone from your community is about to figure out all your lies, or you've promised too many things, and the end game doesn't seem as important as fixing this week's problem.
I was shocked to see that MeFi's own pseuicide was 10 years ago. I would have guessed it was only 5 or so.
posted by harriet vane at 11:18 PM on January 5, 2023 [1 favorite]
Sometimes it's a grift, looking for donations. But I think quite often it's about short-term relief from an intolerable (self-afflicted) situation. Someone from your community is about to figure out all your lies, or you've promised too many things, and the end game doesn't seem as important as fixing this week's problem.
I was shocked to see that MeFi's own pseuicide was 10 years ago. I would have guessed it was only 5 or so.
posted by harriet vane at 11:18 PM on January 5, 2023 [1 favorite]
I was shocked to see that MeFi's own pseuicide was 10 years ago. I would have guessed it was only 5 or so.
Well, it was 4 years plus [Trump Era] ago, so… fair.
posted by Etrigan at 6:48 AM on January 6, 2023 [4 favorites]
Well, it was 4 years plus [Trump Era] ago, so… fair.
posted by Etrigan at 6:48 AM on January 6, 2023 [4 favorites]
We need a new term for faking one’s own death by just posting “This is @Dana7258’s mom. They killed themself over the weekend.” and logging out, because it’s riding on the coattails of those who put forth the effort to find a drifter who resembles them and place their body in the car before pushing it over a cliff.
posted by Etrigan at 6:53 AM on January 6, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by Etrigan at 6:53 AM on January 6, 2023 [5 favorites]
We need a new term
It does feel like Munchausen syndrome would be sufficient; if calling it a 'syndrome' is unreasonable, we could go with something like Munchausen trolling.
posted by Merus at 9:40 PM on January 6, 2023 [1 favorite]
It does feel like Munchausen syndrome would be sufficient; if calling it a 'syndrome' is unreasonable, we could go with something like Munchausen trolling.
posted by Merus at 9:40 PM on January 6, 2023 [1 favorite]
At the end of this article M responds to her critics (and throws her daughter, if she exists, thoroughly under the bus). Whatever else you may think of her, she is clearly a historically significant practitioner of gaslighting.
"To those who donated I would again stress this wasn't demanded of them. I'm sorry they feel wronged but they chose to DONATE. It doesn't magically become a loan because they regret it now. And WHY do they? Because an Author told a Story? The only difference now vs before is I'm alive. They'd rather I be dead? Then they'd be happy about donating? That's what it seems like they're saying, they're cruelly wishing death on me."
posted by thatwhichfalls at 12:46 PM on January 7, 2023 [1 favorite]
"To those who donated I would again stress this wasn't demanded of them. I'm sorry they feel wronged but they chose to DONATE. It doesn't magically become a loan because they regret it now. And WHY do they? Because an Author told a Story? The only difference now vs before is I'm alive. They'd rather I be dead? Then they'd be happy about donating? That's what it seems like they're saying, they're cruelly wishing death on me."
posted by thatwhichfalls at 12:46 PM on January 7, 2023 [1 favorite]
This woman is...something else I guess.
"I died not physically but spiritually."
Oh, so was it a spiritual funeral?
posted by corb at 12:51 PM on January 7, 2023 [2 favorites]
"I died not physically but spiritually."
Oh, so was it a spiritual funeral?
posted by corb at 12:51 PM on January 7, 2023 [2 favorites]
I vividly remember the Metafilter hoaxer. His writing was pretty compelling to me in an outsider sort of way and I felt, when I heard about the hoax, that his stories were probably 90% or so fake but real on some level to him, right up to and including the fake suicide. It reminds me of My Tiny Life by Julian Dibbell and the whole virtual world that took shape in the 90s, where you could just sort of be anyone in a way that was really intoxicating to some, and really destructive to some subset of those.
I'm wondering if there is a direct line from that to a hoax like this one, beyond being a fake suicide. Something about the fact that you can now be a published author-- for many people, possibly their number one dream in life-- almost instantly. And some indie authors are genuinely good, and successful, so you can't automatically discount the claims of anyone who comes online with an indie book. And then on some level it starts not working out, and they want to burn it down while still creating a fiction. This author is funny to me. She sounds almost angry at the people who bought into her hoax?
posted by BibiRose at 9:16 AM on January 8, 2023
I'm wondering if there is a direct line from that to a hoax like this one, beyond being a fake suicide. Something about the fact that you can now be a published author-- for many people, possibly their number one dream in life-- almost instantly. And some indie authors are genuinely good, and successful, so you can't automatically discount the claims of anyone who comes online with an indie book. And then on some level it starts not working out, and they want to burn it down while still creating a fiction. This author is funny to me. She sounds almost angry at the people who bought into her hoax?
posted by BibiRose at 9:16 AM on January 8, 2023
I think there's a certain amount of pure failure of mental modeling going on there. She doesn't seem to be able to understand how anyone else would feel about someone they knew and liked, or a writer they followed, dying. I'm not sure her online "friends" are any more real to her than characters in a book.
This is not super uncommon but it is absolutely not a function of online spaces, it is just a manifestation of it. Sometimes, I think, pseudocide (as in "suicide of the pseudonym", my preferred term for it) is an act of desperation - when someone has taken money for something they can't deliver, and can't return the money, faking their death can seem like the cleanest way out. This, however, looks like the act of someone who is constructing a narrative and is genuinely surprised when the other (actual human) characters don't seem to know their lines.
posted by restless_nomad at 9:47 AM on January 8, 2023 [4 favorites]
This is not super uncommon but it is absolutely not a function of online spaces, it is just a manifestation of it. Sometimes, I think, pseudocide (as in "suicide of the pseudonym", my preferred term for it) is an act of desperation - when someone has taken money for something they can't deliver, and can't return the money, faking their death can seem like the cleanest way out. This, however, looks like the act of someone who is constructing a narrative and is genuinely surprised when the other (actual human) characters don't seem to know their lines.
posted by restless_nomad at 9:47 AM on January 8, 2023 [4 favorites]
FYI -- The interview thatwhichfalls links to is, apparently, almost certainly a fake. Some *other* sociopath seems to have been pretending to be Meachen.
posted by kyrademon at 8:32 AM on January 12, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by kyrademon at 8:32 AM on January 12, 2023 [3 favorites]
NYT: The Romance Novelist Who Faked Her Own Death
It gets kind of weird after that, wandering into self-published authors and the HarperCollins strike.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:57 AM on January 13, 2023
Few topics are less funny than suicide, and Ms. Meachen caused genuine pain to people who cared about her. There’s also a question of actual fraud, since her “relatives” allegedly crowdsourced money for her “funeral.” But the deeper reporters and amateur sleuths dived down the rabbit hole, the more bizarre — and, yes, amusing — the details. She appears to have created a fake account to resume running her Facebook group, The Ward, after her purported death. She or a relative convinced other writers to edit her “last” book for free in time to present it as a posthumous wedding present to Ms. Meachen’s daughter.
Her novels, with their stock cover images and generic titles like “Stolen Moments” and “My Crush,” are filled with “dark secrets” and untimely deaths. On multiple occasions over the two years Ms. Meachen was believed to be dead, her “daughter” or “assistant” threatened to remove her books from Amazon because not enough people were buying them. One post from Ms. Meachen’s Facebook account, written from the perspective of her daughter, included the sentence “Dead people don’t post on social media.” If none of this makes you giggle, you’re a stronger person than I am.
It gets kind of weird after that, wandering into self-published authors and the HarperCollins strike.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:57 AM on January 13, 2023
Let the fun continue
(Now comes the fully reported NYT article about the whole thing)
posted by staggernation at 9:01 AM on January 16, 2023 [1 favorite]
(Now comes the fully reported NYT article about the whole thing)
posted by staggernation at 9:01 AM on January 16, 2023 [1 favorite]
NYT quotes: Basically the woman has bipolar disorder, is being treated, and wasn't in a good state in 2020, especially online.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:22 AM on January 16, 2023 [2 favorites]
On September 10, Mr. Meachen was away, hauling a shipment of chemicals. Their daughter stopped by to check on her mother, and found her semiconscious.Oh, great, let's make RWA's issues worse by saying that one....
Ms. Meachen had taken a large dose of Xanax, enough to make her “like a limp noodle,” and was “not cognitive or responsive,” Mr. Meachen said. He instructed their daughter to announce her death online, he said.
“I told them that she is dead to the indie world, the internet, because we had to stop her, period,” he said. “She could not stop it on her own. And, even to this day, I’ll take 100 percent of the blame, the accolades, whatever you want to call it.”
The post on Meachen’s page said she had died two days earlier. “Author Susan Meachen left this world behind Tuesday night for bigger and better things,” it said. “Please leave us alone we have no desire in this messed-up industry.”
A follow-up post appeared on Oct. 23. “Sorry thought everyone on this page knew my mom passed away,” it said. “Dead people don’t post on social media.”
As the scandal drew the attention of mainstream media outlets to the romance industry, many of its senior figures drew a weary sigh.
“I do not think it is going to help the romance industry’s persona of being a bunch of overly emotional women,” said Clair Brett, the president of the Romance Writers of America.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:22 AM on January 16, 2023 [2 favorites]
So her family not only exists but actually posted for her, like she said? In all the years I've seen this kind of thing play out online, that's the first I've ever heard of it. I suppose they could have agreed to take the fall for her behavior if she really did do it, but even so, their being real and concerned with her online life makes this pretty remarkable among pseuicides.
You do feel terrible for her, though. Her writing was -- I read a bit, and it was -- It needed considerable work to achieve a professional level. Even so, it was horribly paternalistic of her husband to intervene the way he did.
posted by Countess Elena at 10:40 AM on January 16, 2023
You do feel terrible for her, though. Her writing was -- I read a bit, and it was -- It needed considerable work to achieve a professional level. Even so, it was horribly paternalistic of her husband to intervene the way he did.
posted by Countess Elena at 10:40 AM on January 16, 2023
It did say in the article that she dropped out in the 9th grade to get married. After that I reasonably assumed her writing may not have been high editing quality.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:48 AM on January 16, 2023
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:48 AM on January 16, 2023
The controversy would've been over in a couple days if Meachen had gotten online after her head was clear and said, 'hey y'all, my husband was worried about me and then did a profoundly shitty thing that showed he doesn't care about anyone else's feelings but his own.' If he wanted the blame (or accolades), then that would've been the time to bestow it. By letting it stretch on and on, she became complicit in the drama. So she still sucks, even with this version of events!
Does anyone else find it odd, trying to figure out exactly what was going on with that Xanax overdose? They fear she's going to harm herself, enough so that the police are called in. And then she's just...left to her own devices? She took a big enough dose to be "semiconscious," "like a limp noodle," "not cognitive or responsive." What does that mean? Why is the next sentence not, "The family rushed her to a hospital?" Instead, it's all about the husband deciding to helicopter in and play hero, not by getting her any help, not by talking to her about how to limit her online time, not by...well, doing anything helpful, but writing a suicide note for her? Hurting everyone who felt connected to her, and clearly not solving the core issue, as she kept monitoring to see what people would say about her!
These are terrible people. It's inexcusable. And unnecessary! A million self-pubbed writers fall off the radar every day. It's an industry that makes huge promises, but, as the truest sentence of the NYT piece says, You are literally tossing your money into a pit hoping someone will find you. Not a lot of people manage to hang on, and they disappear, and readers are kind of used to that. You don't have to do anything big and dramatic to leave. You just go silent. They don't miss you, they just move to the next writer. No suicides required.
posted by mittens at 1:10 PM on January 16, 2023
Does anyone else find it odd, trying to figure out exactly what was going on with that Xanax overdose? They fear she's going to harm herself, enough so that the police are called in. And then she's just...left to her own devices? She took a big enough dose to be "semiconscious," "like a limp noodle," "not cognitive or responsive." What does that mean? Why is the next sentence not, "The family rushed her to a hospital?" Instead, it's all about the husband deciding to helicopter in and play hero, not by getting her any help, not by talking to her about how to limit her online time, not by...well, doing anything helpful, but writing a suicide note for her? Hurting everyone who felt connected to her, and clearly not solving the core issue, as she kept monitoring to see what people would say about her!
These are terrible people. It's inexcusable. And unnecessary! A million self-pubbed writers fall off the radar every day. It's an industry that makes huge promises, but, as the truest sentence of the NYT piece says, You are literally tossing your money into a pit hoping someone will find you. Not a lot of people manage to hang on, and they disappear, and readers are kind of used to that. You don't have to do anything big and dramatic to leave. You just go silent. They don't miss you, they just move to the next writer. No suicides required.
posted by mittens at 1:10 PM on January 16, 2023
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posted by mittens at 6:11 AM on January 5, 2023 [13 favorites]