Elon's Prototype Community Of Tomorrow
March 9, 2023 4:02 PM   Subscribe

As part of his expansion of operations, Elon Musk is is developing a company town in Texas named Snailbrook.

Reports indicate that development is already underway, with homes and several facilities existing at the proposed town site. Musk has said that homes would be rented to employees at $800/month, with a 30 day eviction notice for those dismissed from their jobs.
posted by NoxAeternum (72 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
 
I first heard Personville called Poisonville by a red-haired mucker named Hickey Dewey in the Big Ship in Butte. He also called his shirt a shoit. I didn't think anything of what he had done to the city's name. Later I heard men who could manage their r's give it the same pronunciation. I still didn't see anything in it but the meaningless sort of humor that used to make richardsnary the thieves' word for dictionary. A few years later I went to Personville and learned better.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 4:06 PM on March 9, 2023 [32 favorites]


>with a 30 day eviction notice for those dismissed from their jobs.

yeah working for BigTech back in the day I thought it'd be cool if said BigTech could rent out subsidized apartments to us worker bees. My mind though quickly sussed out that these leases would be terminated on separation, which is pretty no bueno!
posted by Heywood Mogroot III at 4:07 PM on March 9, 2023 [17 favorites]


Budget Henry Ford.
posted by Artw at 4:09 PM on March 9, 2023 [13 favorites]


I hope they're leaving plenty of room for the tunnels they'll need to hide all the traffic underground

Assuming that it's not an immediate failure
posted by Merus at 4:09 PM on March 9, 2023 [3 favorites]


Fair chance entirely made up bullshit to distract from the various other failures across his orgs.

I’ll believe it’s real when I see the mechanism by which it can sponge up massive government subsidies.
posted by Artw at 4:15 PM on March 9, 2023 [64 favorites]


If this doesn't die in the embryonic stages, it's going to be the subject of a lot of documentaries with creepy piano music and sludge rock soundtracks.
posted by Scattercat at 4:17 PM on March 9, 2023 [37 favorites]


tied cottages
posted by clew at 4:22 PM on March 9, 2023 [3 favorites]


I've seen how that dumb motherfucker works his employees. I'll pass.
posted by nushustu at 4:22 PM on March 9, 2023 [13 favorites]


Well I know where I'll be rioting.
posted by CPAnarchist at 4:26 PM on March 9, 2023 [10 favorites]


Does that 30 days start when you find yourself locked out of your account, or when Elon confirms to @catbutt420 that you've been fired?
posted by credulous at 4:27 PM on March 9, 2023 [44 favorites]


The way find out if you're fired is when you get home and can't get in the door ....
posted by mbo at 4:29 PM on March 9, 2023 [22 favorites]


Previous-ly
posted by clavdivs at 4:32 PM on March 9, 2023


They never should have let him host Saturday Night Live.
posted by sundrop at 4:36 PM on March 9, 2023 [10 favorites]


I'm probably not going to put that on my list of potential places to move to.
posted by plonkee at 4:44 PM on March 9, 2023


Well I mean it's in Texas, so it was nowhere even close to being on my list anyway...
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:48 PM on March 9, 2023 [13 favorites]


It's not just whether they give you a fair deal as an employee living there, it's also whether you can trust him to respect the trash collectors, firefighters, etc. after he gets distracted or someone happens to dunk on him on Twitter.
posted by Riki tiki at 4:57 PM on March 9, 2023 [7 favorites]


Instead of loading 16 tons of coal maybe it will be lithium batteries.
posted by falsedmitri at 4:58 PM on March 9, 2023 [8 favorites]


Imagine your HOA.

Now imagine it headed by Elon Musk.

That sound of shrieking despair is just your psyche shattering.
posted by NoxAeternum at 5:00 PM on March 9, 2023 [45 favorites]


Should be fun when he decides to save money by stop paying say the waste treatment plant workers.
posted by Mitheral at 5:02 PM on March 9, 2023 [4 favorites]


Will the doors lock you inside when it catches on fire?
posted by emjaybee at 5:03 PM on March 9, 2023 [15 favorites]


something something delenda est
posted by anecdotal_grand_theory at 5:04 PM on March 9, 2023 [4 favorites]


The locks are all automatic, he can walk in at any time, and he has first night privileges.
posted by Oyéah at 5:05 PM on March 9, 2023 [17 favorites]


Oh Christ, imagine the surveillance that everyone will be subjected to. Musk looooves his data.
posted by anhedonic at 5:15 PM on March 9, 2023 [1 favorite]




Huh, what a cool idea. Horizontal integration, and all that jazz. I bet they could even pay part of their employees' wages in some sort of currency that's redeemable at stores in Snailbrook, to form a robust local economy.

Later, when things deteriorate, I also hear the Pinkertons are still available as guns-for-hire.
posted by Mayor West at 5:29 PM on March 9, 2023 [28 favorites]


"Company towns have a long history of creating so-called utopias for their workers but also created towns that were akin to a prison camps where employers are the landlord and the shopkeep and everything else one could need. "

I see what you did there. And what everyone else said about finding themselves locked out of their homes (if they are even allowed to go to their homes at all).

My one surprise is it's called "Snailbrook" instead of "MyDickIsHuge" or "420Ville" or "catturdisking" or something else he'd normally call something.
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:54 PM on March 9, 2023 [9 favorites]


The wonderful thing about today is that instead of being paid in script, you can be paid in crypto (Eloncoin) or Elon NFTs!
posted by drewbage1847 at 5:59 PM on March 9, 2023 [2 favorites]


If I was evicted because I was fired, I'd leave that place in the grossest, least habitable state you could imagine. I can't believe I'm the only one.
posted by aspo at 6:00 PM on March 9, 2023 [5 favorites]


Wayward Snails.
posted by clavdivs at 6:08 PM on March 9, 2023 [4 favorites]


"MyDickIsHuge" or "420Ville" or "catturdisking"

S3XYtown
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:21 PM on March 9, 2023 [6 favorites]


Wayward Snails

I saw them open for Slime back in the day.
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:23 PM on March 9, 2023 [1 favorite]


I say, this is a wonderful opportunity for Musk stans to put their money where their mouth is. Go live under your philosopher king and see how great it can be! (I'd worry about exploitation, but you know he's not renting to any Poors.)
posted by praemunire at 6:33 PM on March 9, 2023 [4 favorites]


S3XYtown
Population: 80085
posted by HeroZero at 6:33 PM on March 9, 2023 [10 favorites]




open for Slime
The band from the sci-fi short story?
seriously, I've been looking for that story for years.
posted by clavdivs at 6:42 PM on March 9, 2023


If I was evicted because I was fired, I'd leave that place in the grossest, least habitable state you could imagine. I can't believe I'm the only one.

You wouldn't have the opportunity to do so. The minute the sick hybrid of HR/HOA that controls the employee-residents and their homes moves your file to fired/eviction queue, your home would be monitored 24/7, including snooping by devices you never even knew were there.

On eviction day, there'd be 3 ED-209s (I'm 100% sure Musk would name his security bots that, claiming it's an ironic homage or some shit) to keep watch as you leave. "Please exit the premises. You have 20 seconds to comply."

And if you try anything funny, I'm sure Musk will have worked out some deal with state and federal governments to let his private police force kill disobedient workers and former workers with impunity. As we know, there's historic precedent for that kind of thing here in the land of the free.
posted by lord_wolf at 6:47 PM on March 9, 2023 [3 favorites]


My gut is wrenched out it is crunched up and broken
A life that is led is no more than a token
Who'll strike the flint upon the stone and tell me why
If I yell out at night there's a reply of bruised silence
The screen is no comfort I can't speak my sentence
They blew the lights at heaven's gate and I don't know why

But if I work all day on the blue sky mine
(There'll be food on the table tonight)
Still I walk up and down on the blue sky mine
(There'll be pay in your pocket tonight)

...



oh the irony.
posted by Nanukthedog at 6:49 PM on March 9, 2023 [10 favorites]


So how are we thinking it’ll end? In order of disasters, I figure it goes something like: California City, Fordlândia, Roanoke, Jonestown?
posted by MarchHare at 7:06 PM on March 9, 2023 [1 favorite]


METAFILTER: the subject of a lot of documentaries with creepy piano music and sludge rock soundtracks
posted by philip-random at 7:38 PM on March 9, 2023 [5 favorites]


Hmm…Elon’s Gulch? …Musk’s Gulch? …Musky Gulch?

Eh, it’s not perfect, but you get the idea.
posted by darkstar at 8:10 PM on March 9, 2023 [1 favorite]


This’ll be the warmup for his Mars colony, except much easier to leave.

You can leave, right?
RIGHT??
posted by adamrice at 8:17 PM on March 9, 2023 [7 favorites]


No, no, you want Musk on an HOA board. He wouldn't bother learning the rules and be immediately ousted.
posted by Slackermagee at 8:22 PM on March 9, 2023


The sad thing is, this concept could work wonders for regional unemployment and poverty, if only someone that wasn't most or all of a raging lunatic, a complete arsehole and a massive narcissist and could afford to do it had the will.
posted by dg at 8:25 PM on March 9, 2023 [2 favorites]


Budget Henry Ford.

Sweetie, we have wish.com Henry Ford at home.
posted by loquacious at 8:50 PM on March 9, 2023 [6 favorites]


mr. lee's greater hong kong...
Prospera tests 'private city' plan in Honduras - "It's a radical experiment: A city, organized like a private business, with its own laws, operated autonomously. International investors are building the charter city of Prospera in Honduras. But is it a threat to democracy?"
posted by kliuless at 9:44 PM on March 9, 2023 [2 favorites]


The sad thing is, this concept could work wonders for regional unemployment and poverty, if only...

And that's the thing, it seems no one with the established power to do this is psychologically capable of doing it. It's probably not coincidence at this point: the only way to gain the wealth necessary to pursue this, is that you're either an aggressive anti-empath, or ignorant of life "on the ground" to the point of apathy and/or incompetence.
posted by Riki tiki at 11:27 PM on March 9, 2023 [7 favorites]


Of all the places company towns would make a comeback, it makes sense it would be Texas. Be sure to check out the Hammock Complex/District.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 12:38 AM on March 10, 2023 [2 favorites]


If I was evicted because I was fired, I'd leave that place in the grossest, least habitable state you could imagine.

I’m sure they’ll have something in the rental agreement that automatically charges you for all damages real and imagined, either garnished from your last paychecks or they’ll just sue you for it. Something tells me they’re not leaving any dollars on the table.

Great post title, by the way.
posted by Mchelly at 5:11 AM on March 10, 2023 [2 favorites]


But we've already had one Elon Musk-themed Knives Out movie set on an private island. Doing one in a company town is just going to be repetitive.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 5:34 AM on March 10, 2023 [4 favorites]


"MyDickIsHuge" or "420Ville" or "catturdisking"

I'm far from the first person to say it...It's painfully obvious that Musk desperately wants to be funny, but has no idea how to be.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 6:06 AM on March 10, 2023 [4 favorites]


It’s like Levittown and Colonia Dignidad had the world’s ugliest baby.

(The baby is ugly on the inside too.)
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 6:14 AM on March 10, 2023 [1 favorite]


Go live under your philosopher king and see how great it can be!

If you have toenail fungus, do this immediately.
posted by y2karl at 6:25 AM on March 10, 2023 [1 favorite]




How'd they hire my 80 year old urban design professor from 2005 to design this? Boring Boulevard indeed.
posted by gordie at 7:46 AM on March 10, 2023


How'd they hire my 80 year old urban design professor from 2005 to design this? Boring Boulevard indeed.

I hate how people will use anything they want for the generic of the street name. That's not a boulevard. A boulevard is wide, tree-lined, and in theory supposed to be circumferential. Language has no meaning anymore and urban planners are partly to blame.
posted by Your Childhood Pet Rock at 8:14 AM on March 10, 2023 [11 favorites]


So if they fire you, they lock you out of the house… What about if you have a company car, which would obviously be a Tesla? You’re driving down the freeway and all of a sudden the car shuts down as HR pulls the plug?
posted by njohnson23 at 8:50 AM on March 10, 2023 [4 favorites]


Well, theoretically the car should at least drive you to the side of the freeway and physically boot you out of it, but Tesla's aren't that self-driving quite yet, right?
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:57 AM on March 10, 2023


He's late to the game. It's already been done in Texas.
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 9:25 AM on March 10, 2023


Tesla's aren't that self-driving quite yet, right?
posted by jenfullmoon


And when the steering wheel falls off they're not even human drivable.
posted by Splunge at 9:29 AM on March 10, 2023 [2 favorites]


Ford has the patent on that. The future is a John Deere tractor subscription grinding down the human soul forever.
posted by Artw at 9:36 AM on March 10, 2023


The proof is in the term of art: there is no such thing as a good "Company Town." It's not fucking possible; it never will be. A company town is just another shitty way to leech wealth from workers and put it in the coffers of the elite. This is always done at the expense of other considerations, including human welfare (especially if it strengthens or expedites the wealth-leeching).

I dare someone to prove me wrong on this: All capitalist endeavors ultimately serve the wealthiest owners at the top of the pyramid. There are no exceptions to this rule, ever. When you have a system that literally is designed to prioritize the growth and concentration* of capital, no other principle or ideal can compete with such a single-minded, willfully amoral creed.

*Staunch capitalists have many euphemisms for these activities, things like - "increasing productivity", "right-sizing", "fiduciary responsibility to the shareholders", "optimization operational costs", "reacting to market forces", etc... they are always fiction; they are only employed to justify human harm
posted by Doleful Creature at 10:33 AM on March 10, 2023 [4 favorites]


Given that Zuck just outright called it "Metaverse" without even bothering to change the name, five bucks says Musk is going to call it "City 17" without a shred of irony.
posted by AlSweigart at 12:13 PM on March 10, 2023 [2 favorites]


or Soylentbrook
posted by philip-random at 12:26 PM on March 10, 2023 [1 favorite]


They never should have let him host Saturday Night Live.

They did!? These are end times.

Might as well crisprize up some Elon Musk/Steven Seagal genetic hybrids in new fire-breathing giant kaiju golem size and sic 'em on the more photogenic infrastructure and just get it over with.
posted by y2karl at 1:38 PM on March 10, 2023



He's late to the game. It's already been done in Texas


It isn't clear from the linked history. Did Dow own all the housing which was rented to their workers or did people buy their homes. A single employer also acting as land developer is much less exploitive than a town owned by the company where residents loose their house along with their job.

Either way actual company towns go way farther back than 1941.
posted by Mitheral at 2:44 PM on March 10, 2023 [1 favorite]


As a Texan, sounds like a cult. People like to try that kind of thing out here.

"What if employees paid rent to me to sleep on the office floor before I fired them? Wouldn't it be grand?"
posted by Selena777 at 2:56 PM on March 10, 2023 [1 favorite]


It seems like an odd turn for the next season of Severance based on what's come before, but I'm curious to see how this fits into the overall story arc.
posted by SonInLawOfSam at 8:16 AM on March 11, 2023 [1 favorite]


Well, I guess the plot for the next installment in the Bioshock franchise is sorted, then.
posted by Harald74 at 6:52 AM on March 12, 2023


It isn't clear from the linked history. Did Dow own all the housing which was rented to their workers or did people buy their homes. A single employer also acting as land developer is much less exploitive than a town owned by the company where residents loose their house along with their job.

I haven't been able to find the original story, but I believe Dow developed the houses, but sold them to the employees and sold them cheap! IIRC, they spent a lot of time trying to find ways to let their employees keep more of their money, so people would want to continue working for them.

Either way actual company towns go way farther back than 1941.

Yeah.... I was just being a little snarky saying that Elon wasn't the first in Texas.
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 9:29 AM on March 14, 2023


Company towns are a good analogy, but in Musk's head I think this is coming from Snow Crash.

I have no idea why a novel from 1992 should be the worst influence on the worst two techbros of the 2020s, but I guess this is where we are.

At the beginning of Snow Crash, we learn that the nation state has collapsed and what was America is now a patchwork of enclaves claimed by private individuals, companies and corporations. I think this is what Musk is thinking of: an autonomous territory of his own, which he can run as he pleases without any pesky authorities quoting rules and regulations at him. He or some other libertarian bro will have researched the relevant laws and found that Texas is the most opportune place to try and make it happen.

Meanwhile, Zuckerberg's "Metaverse" comes directly from Snow Crash. Musk's catchphrase "the woke mind virus" is a Snow Crash reference. If you want to understand why these dickheads think their terrible ideas are works of genius, Snow Crash is the place to look.
posted by Pallas Athena at 3:14 PM on March 14, 2023 [2 favorites]


and like so many of Neil Stephenson's novels, Snow Crash doesn't end well. Not in tragedy so much as just a disappointing, ill-considered mess.
posted by philip-random at 3:46 PM on March 14, 2023


FWIW company towns have an honourable (if forgotten) role in the history of socialist and town planning experiments. But Musk is no Robert Owen, nor even a Billy Lane.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 10:03 PM on March 14, 2023 [3 favorites]


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