Increasingly Industrialized, Abusive, and Faked

September 22, 2023 3:46 AM

The Disturbing Secret Behind the World’s Most Expensive Coffee [CW: abuse of animals ]
posted by chavenet (22 comments total)

Ungated
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:55 AM on September 22, 2023 [3 favorites]

This sort of thing is performative proof the rich are not being taxed enough.

You know, if I cold brew my coffee, the bitterness is reduced, they assure me nobody gets hurt along the chain. I am still curious about how it tastes though.
posted by Homemade Interossiter at 4:10 AM on September 22, 2023 [5 favorites]

I've tried it before I knew how it was made, and even without factoring in the monstrosity of the process it's not worth it. There are dozens and maybe hundreds of coffees in the world, all easily obtained, that are more interesting, more flavorful and varied in all the ways different roasting and brewing methods bring out their qualities.
posted by mhoye at 5:49 AM on September 22, 2023 [5 favorites]

The funny/ironic thing is that nowadays “coffee that is not acidic at all” is basically the last thing I would want
posted by DoctorFedora at 6:13 AM on September 22, 2023 [3 favorites]

A large male civet occupied our squad tent at Bien Hoa (in 1965). He slept above our cots on the mosquito nets. He was friendly, and when we were in camp, he often ambled about the tent, visiting various guys. Since our floor was made of adjoined pallets, I suppose the insect population and that of small lizards were plentiful. I once saw him munching on one of the foot-long centipedes that shared our tent. He never seemed interested in our offer of various snacks, but he did seem curious, sniffing at cookie crumbs or tidbits from our C-ration packs.

Sometimes, he made a squeaking sound on his patrols up and down the aisle, under, or around our cots. Although he tolerated handling, he did not seek it, but his back would rise to our hands if we stroked his back.

That someone would mistreat these gentle critters is disgusting.

Also, a bit farther afield, we called the civet Sarge. A large rat living under floorboards already had been named "Charlie." Charlie and Sarge never seemed to be friendly to each other, but I never saw them acting hostile. They rarely patrolled the tent at the same time. Charlie was very much interested in any tidbits we tossed to him. He would sit next to you on your bunk if you happened to open a can of SPAM.
posted by mule98J at 6:15 AM on September 22, 2023 [65 favorites]

I once saw him munching on one of the foot-long centipedes that shared our tent.

A good kitty.
posted by Artw at 7:08 AM on September 22, 2023 [16 favorites]

Having just learned that National Geographic has a Special Investigations Unit that focuses on wildlife crime, I can only ask: how is this not a tv show?
posted by box at 7:12 AM on September 22, 2023 [10 favorites]

National Geographic: SVU?
posted by krisjohn at 8:16 AM on September 22, 2023 [3 favorites]

> Part of what makes kopi luwak so special, experts say, is that wild civets pick and choose the choicest coffee cherries to eat. Keeping civets in cages and feeding them any old cherries leads to an inferior product.

> Besides, says one coffee expert [...], kopi luwak just isn’t that good to begin with. Although the civets’ digestive process does make the coffee smoother, it also removes the good acids and flavor that characterize a specialty cup of coffee.

> A cup of kopi luwak, as it’s known, can sell for as much as $80 in the United States.

The "poor people don't make good choices with money" argument falls flat when rich people spend so much money on counterfeit ferret shit coffee that the industry resorts to animal cruelty to meet demand.
posted by AlSweigart at 8:28 AM on September 22, 2023 [18 favorites]

I blame the Internet's ongoing fascination with kopi luwak (it seems to get "re-discovered" every few years) for creating the demand in the first place. Because once Capitalism got wind of it, it was only a matter of time before it would be exploited like this.
posted by briank at 8:36 AM on September 22, 2023 [1 favorite]

Because once Capitalism got wind of it

the civets yearn for the mines
posted by phunniemee at 8:42 AM on September 22, 2023 [8 favorites]

Do casu marzu next. I want to find out whether capitalism is up to the challenge of being unacceptably cruel to maggots.
posted by flabdablet at 8:54 AM on September 22, 2023 [5 favorites]

I blame the Internet's ongoing fascination with kopi luwak

I thought this fascination was more of a gawking fear factor type thing than anything aspirational, though.
posted by Selena777 at 9:28 AM on September 22, 2023 [2 favorites]

I blame the Internet's ongoing fascination with kopi luwak

This is what caught my eye about this article, tbh. Usually the headline "The Disturbing Secret Behind the World’s Most Expensive Coffee" would be the biannual breathless "discovery" that famously luxe coffee is produced by running the beans through a live animal and then collecting them out of the poop.
posted by chavenet at 9:36 AM on September 22, 2023 [1 favorite]

I've tried it before I knew how it was made, and even without factoring in the monstrosity of the process it's not worth it.

I'm given to understand that there are several processes which can replicate the coffee-smoothing effects of civet digestion purely chemically. But I guess without the animal cruelty, it lacks authenticity.
posted by jackbishop at 10:41 AM on September 22, 2023 [5 favorites]

National Geographic: SVU?

Special Veldt Unit?
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:54 AM on September 22, 2023 [1 favorite]

I generally agree with most "eat the rich" comments, but I don't actually think that the demand for kopi lewak comes from the hyper-rich. It's as much as $80/cup in the US, but that's at the extremes (and for that price, probably sold as "ethical"). More of it gets consumed while someone is, say, on vacation in Bali, and get tempted to drink a $10-30 cup of the supposedly best coffee in the whole world. That's expensive, but not too bad compared to prices in Western countries.

You can blame the rich for how Jakarta is polluted and sinking. But I think kopi lewak is more of a sin of foodie tourists who don't think their one cup in Bali is doing too much harm.
posted by Pitachu at 12:10 PM on September 22, 2023 [2 favorites]

I sampled it back in maybe 1995–$20 for two cups at a local roaster. This was when there was only wild-harvest and it was $1500 a pound green. It reminded me of a good Kona, but no better.
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 5:23 PM on September 22, 2023 [1 favorite]

And here I thought that kopi luwak was Bahasa Indonesian for "gullible Westerner"
posted by the hot hot side of randy at 11:43 AM on September 24, 2023

Pretty sure it has something to do with the origin story of the shit-eating grin.
posted by flabdablet at 12:41 PM on September 24, 2023

It seems like Gesha has pretty much supplanted kopi luwak as the world's most expensive coffee; no idea if this is good news for civet cats, but it's probably bad news for clickbait writers on a tight deadline.
posted by multics at 2:48 PM on September 24, 2023 [1 favorite]

Tight deadlines, of course, being the cause of the secretions that give Gesha its unique mouthfeel. Though I seem to recall reading about some promising early research showing that wire-floored cages work almost equally well; perhaps David Brooks could be sent to investigate.
posted by flabdablet at 8:54 PM on September 24, 2023