The GDPR of your dreams
January 13, 2024 6:34 AM Subscribe
Mod note: Comment removed, please be considerate and respectful at the start of a new thread, thanks
posted by Brandon Blatcher (staff) at 7:07 AM on January 13
posted by Brandon Blatcher (staff) at 7:07 AM on January 13
This guy's voice doesn't really relax me personally; I keep expecting to hear the sound of a gavel banging followed me being sentenced to transportation for life to Australia. However if you're more of a "reading yourself to sleep" kind of person, the full text is readily available.
posted by phooky at 7:19 AM on January 13
posted by phooky at 7:19 AM on January 13
I had to read the entirety of the GDPR in order to ascertain the impacts on my former company's products and services. It was a dry read, to put it mildly, but hardly soporific. Perhaps it was my caffeine intake or my interest in the outcome.
posted by tommasz at 7:38 AM on January 13 [4 favorites]
posted by tommasz at 7:38 AM on January 13 [4 favorites]
I'm guessing this is meant to be humorous
but it comes off as passive aggressive to me. I'm sure the people running this app despise not being able to freely suck up private EU citizen data, so I'm guessing that's just what it is ... a muskian rant against government regulation.
posted by UN at 7:39 AM on January 13 [14 favorites]
but it comes off as passive aggressive to me. I'm sure the people running this app despise not being able to freely suck up private EU citizen data, so I'm guessing that's just what it is ... a muskian rant against government regulation.
posted by UN at 7:39 AM on January 13 [14 favorites]
I'm not going to read too much into this person's motivations, but the GDPR is interesting and important. I think what we're really seeing is the reaction of somebody who has never had to actually read a piece of legislation in their entire lives suddenly being required to.
But yeah, "420 times longer than the UK Parliament’s Bill for triggering Article 50"? That bill is literally five sentences long, and that brevity also reflects the utter failure of foresight that lead to the current state of the UK, which is kind of a shitshow. So maybe not making a case.
If you really want snoozefests, US legislation is the way to go. It tends to be shorter, but so, so much duller. Here, have the text of the Tax Exempt Hospitals Responsibility Act of 2006. There's even an embedded screen reader at the top of the text of the bill that will read it out loud for you! Have you considered redesignating subsection (r) as subsection (s)? perhaps I can interest you in inserting the following subsection after subsection (q)?
No need for a fancy app: the US Government will read bedtime stories out loud to you, for free.
posted by phooky at 8:07 AM on January 13 [11 favorites]
But yeah, "420 times longer than the UK Parliament’s Bill for triggering Article 50"? That bill is literally five sentences long, and that brevity also reflects the utter failure of foresight that lead to the current state of the UK, which is kind of a shitshow. So maybe not making a case.
If you really want snoozefests, US legislation is the way to go. It tends to be shorter, but so, so much duller. Here, have the text of the Tax Exempt Hospitals Responsibility Act of 2006. There's even an embedded screen reader at the top of the text of the bill that will read it out loud for you! Have you considered redesignating subsection (r) as subsection (s)? perhaps I can interest you in inserting the following subsection after subsection (q)?
No need for a fancy app: the US Government will read bedtime stories out loud to you, for free.
posted by phooky at 8:07 AM on January 13 [11 favorites]
I first read the GDPR excitedly and with a lot of squeeing. Admittedly I am a librarian and a privacy wonk, so YMMV.
(May the Irish DPC fall into a peat bog and never be seen again.)
posted by humbug at 8:36 AM on January 13 [4 favorites]
(May the Irish DPC fall into a peat bog and never be seen again.)
posted by humbug at 8:36 AM on January 13 [4 favorites]
GDPR ASMR SMDH
posted by I EAT TAPAS at 8:37 AM on January 13 [3 favorites]
posted by I EAT TAPAS at 8:37 AM on January 13 [3 favorites]
Club kids will ruin it
posted by MonsieurPEB at 9:17 AM on January 13 [1 favorite]
posted by MonsieurPEB at 9:17 AM on January 13 [1 favorite]
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo GDPR GDPR Buffalo buffalo
posted by seanmpuckett at 9:21 AM on January 13 [2 favorites]
posted by seanmpuckett at 9:21 AM on January 13 [2 favorites]
I've read a bunch of the GDPR for my job and so have most of the people I work with and when this showed up in the Calm app my LinkedIn timeline went absolutely nuts. A mix of "yeah I've been using the GDPR to get to sleep for years" and "don't do it, maybe you drop right off but you'll wake up in a cold sweat screaming about consent popups an hour later."
Right now the DMA is keeping us all up late so this hits at an especially funny time.
posted by potrzebie at 9:36 AM on January 13 [4 favorites]
Right now the DMA is keeping us all up late so this hits at an especially funny time.
posted by potrzebie at 9:36 AM on January 13 [4 favorites]
I use Calm almost every night to either go to sleep or go back to sleep if I wake up in the night. Lots of good sleep stories some stupid ones. I seem to prefer the train stories. I’ve tried the shipping forecast a couple of times and it works well.
They aren’t boring, but just seem to take over my mind so I do think about my own issues or day.
There are quite a few I’ve never heard the end of (in a waking state anyway).
posted by jvbthegolfer at 2:43 PM on January 13
They aren’t boring, but just seem to take over my mind so I do think about my own issues or day.
There are quite a few I’ve never heard the end of (in a waking state anyway).
posted by jvbthegolfer at 2:43 PM on January 13
The BBC's shipping forecast is my go-to when I absolutely need to fall asleep.
posted by neuron at 3:12 PM on January 13 [1 favorite]
posted by neuron at 3:12 PM on January 13 [1 favorite]
The GDPR isn’t new? It’s over 5 years old. But it seems like Calm did this already in 2018.
European privacy law is one of my areas of expertise. I am a dedicated coffee aficionado. These two things may be related.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 8:16 PM on January 13 [4 favorites]
European privacy law is one of my areas of expertise. I am a dedicated coffee aficionado. These two things may be related.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 8:16 PM on January 13 [4 favorites]
An auditory sleep aid needs to be just engaging enough to keep your brain focused on it so your mind doesn’t wander and keep you awake, but not so interesting as to be a page turner, so to speak.
In the fall I used the Silmarillion to knock me out (having read it once before), and let me tell you that willl get the job done.
posted by dry white toast at 12:06 AM on January 14 [1 favorite]
In the fall I used the Silmarillion to knock me out (having read it once before), and let me tell you that willl get the job done.
posted by dry white toast at 12:06 AM on January 14 [1 favorite]
An auditory sleep aid needs to be just engaging enough to keep your brain focused on it so your mind doesn’t wander and keep you awake, but not so interesting as to be a page turner, so to speak.
Livestream of a Sotheby's auction (Freddie Mercury's estate) worked extremely well for me when I was sick with COVID. A soothing rhythm, wordy enough to capture my attention yet with no narrative for my imagination to hook into. They do have a YouTube channel with recordings of key auctions, if they don't have a conveniently scheduled livestream.
posted by cheshyre at 4:25 PM on January 14
Livestream of a Sotheby's auction (Freddie Mercury's estate) worked extremely well for me when I was sick with COVID. A soothing rhythm, wordy enough to capture my attention yet with no narrative for my imagination to hook into. They do have a YouTube channel with recordings of key auctions, if they don't have a conveniently scheduled livestream.
posted by cheshyre at 4:25 PM on January 14
I've recently discovered these (not the ones by Calm, other ones) and wow do they help! I now just need to find earbuds that don't hurt to sleep on because these only work for me, not my partner.
Here are my favs so far:
- Get Sleepy, some are about history, others are stories and those actually don't work for me.
- I Can't Sleep, these are just some guy reading wikipedia articles. It's brilliant!
Some people swear by Northwoods Baseball, and I find it amusing and relaxing, but somehow I can't sleep to it.
Extra tip: set these to run at a slightly slow speed (0.8 or 0.9) to make them even more effective.
posted by antinomia at 5:19 AM on January 15
Here are my favs so far:
- Get Sleepy, some are about history, others are stories and those actually don't work for me.
- I Can't Sleep, these are just some guy reading wikipedia articles. It's brilliant!
Some people swear by Northwoods Baseball, and I find it amusing and relaxing, but somehow I can't sleep to it.
Extra tip: set these to run at a slightly slow speed (0.8 or 0.9) to make them even more effective.
posted by antinomia at 5:19 AM on January 15
I would send voicemails to my best friend of me reading a GAAP textbook (that's Generally Accepted Accounting Principles for anyone who has yet to read this page turner!)
posted by LizBoBiz at 7:05 PM on January 15 [1 favorite]
posted by LizBoBiz at 7:05 PM on January 15 [1 favorite]
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posted by cupcakeninja at 6:36 AM on January 13 [1 favorite]