Two-To-Four Hour Party People
January 16, 2024 1:13 PM Subscribe
Determined not to let parenthood rob them of their raving days, ten years ago Hannah Saunders and Natasha Morabito had a revelation. They decided that no, they weren’t done with raving. They’d just have to do it differently.
So Big Fish Little Fish was created; the family rave for ‘two-to-four hour party people’. Parents, grandparents, and kids dance joyously until the sugar rush runs out. It’s a phenomenal success and testament to anyone who always believed it was about the music, and not about the drugs.
So Big Fish Little Fish was created; the family rave for ‘two-to-four hour party people’. Parents, grandparents, and kids dance joyously until the sugar rush runs out. It’s a phenomenal success and testament to anyone who always believed it was about the music, and not about the drugs.
My almost 4 yo would love this. This was never my scene, but I'd try it at least once for her. And maybe the lower-volume, kid-friendly, earlier hours version would fix some of things I found less appealing.
posted by carrioncomfort at 1:31 PM on January 16 [2 favorites]
posted by carrioncomfort at 1:31 PM on January 16 [2 favorites]
I have been trying to talk my friends into turning our thing we would spend 40 hours doing in our youths into something that can be done in an afternoon or evening for 10 years now.
posted by ob1quixote at 1:44 PM on January 16 [8 favorites]
posted by ob1quixote at 1:44 PM on January 16 [8 favorites]
I turn the lights off in the bathroom, throw glowsticks in with the kids, and craft a 45 minute music set on the speakers that takes them through Peak Bathtime through to a gentle post-bathtime comedown. That, and running with them in the jogging stroller with headphones on is close enough to my dance music days for me. Plus I get to control the music and guestlist, which is a huge improvement...
posted by Jon Mitchell at 1:45 PM on January 16 [23 favorites]
posted by Jon Mitchell at 1:45 PM on January 16 [23 favorites]
My wife has been calling me a "rave dad" (despite my not having any children and having not attended a proper rave in at least a decade) since forever so I guess I need to have an opinion on this.
I... don't know. Philosophically I think my ideal of a rave is something that isn't about the drugs or the music but about a community that by design lacks formal hierarchies, and that's not really something you can have when you have parents and children in the same place. So I'm happy people are dancing and I genuinely hope that they succeed in bringing the joy of music and dance to a group that spans generations, but I don't see what they're doing as raving in a meaningful sense.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 1:51 PM on January 16 [9 favorites]
I... don't know. Philosophically I think my ideal of a rave is something that isn't about the drugs or the music but about a community that by design lacks formal hierarchies, and that's not really something you can have when you have parents and children in the same place. So I'm happy people are dancing and I genuinely hope that they succeed in bringing the joy of music and dance to a group that spans generations, but I don't see what they're doing as raving in a meaningful sense.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 1:51 PM on January 16 [9 favorites]
There's always been a hierarchy at a well run rave: the people who decide the location and set list and the decor and the advertising and, especially, the bouncers who keep things safe -- and the attendees. Just think of the adults as the organizers and security.
posted by seanmpuckett at 2:00 PM on January 16 [26 favorites]
posted by seanmpuckett at 2:00 PM on January 16 [26 favorites]
There aren't even any decent DJ nights in the area in which I live. I touched very very briefly upon the edge of the actual rave scene around here quite a while ago, before my beard turned grey, and wasn't allowed in very deep which made me sad because dancing is life for me.
I'd be happy with a good DJ at a club one night a week, but the DJs around here that I've encountered all seem to suck, or if they're any good they leave basically immediately for greener DJ pastures.
Anyway, I haven't been out dancing for... um... well, since before the pandemic, and I think maybe for a year or two before that? I miss it a lot. Maybe the Universe will align so I can do it again someday.
posted by hippybear at 2:04 PM on January 16 [6 favorites]
I'd be happy with a good DJ at a club one night a week, but the DJs around here that I've encountered all seem to suck, or if they're any good they leave basically immediately for greener DJ pastures.
Anyway, I haven't been out dancing for... um... well, since before the pandemic, and I think maybe for a year or two before that? I miss it a lot. Maybe the Universe will align so I can do it again someday.
posted by hippybear at 2:04 PM on January 16 [6 favorites]
When I was expecting my first child 23 years ago, people kept telling me how much I'd have to give up, and I'd say, "I expect I'll be able to do everything I did before I had a baby, only slower, for shorter times, and not as often." This turned out to be true.
hippybear, two years ago a queer group I'm part of that has had an in-person February get-together for decades did a virtual gathering, and it included a DJ's dance party over zoom. I'd never in my life been to the kind of dance where the music just moves from one song to another with no breaks, and I loved it. I also found it surprisingly awesome dancing with people over Zoom. There were a lot of comments in the chat, like, "Oh, so and so is totally killing it," and you could ask someone to dance by messaging them and then for a little while you'd dance while focusing on each other, doing goofy or cool moves together. I lost the ability to stand up for more than a few minutes a few years ago, and this was also a setting where the fact that I was chair dancing while just about everybody else was standing up didn't matter. I didn't feel too low and awkward in a crowd of people standing. It was an amazing experience and one I'm really grateful for.
posted by Well I never at 2:22 PM on January 16 [28 favorites]
hippybear, two years ago a queer group I'm part of that has had an in-person February get-together for decades did a virtual gathering, and it included a DJ's dance party over zoom. I'd never in my life been to the kind of dance where the music just moves from one song to another with no breaks, and I loved it. I also found it surprisingly awesome dancing with people over Zoom. There were a lot of comments in the chat, like, "Oh, so and so is totally killing it," and you could ask someone to dance by messaging them and then for a little while you'd dance while focusing on each other, doing goofy or cool moves together. I lost the ability to stand up for more than a few minutes a few years ago, and this was also a setting where the fact that I was chair dancing while just about everybody else was standing up didn't matter. I didn't feel too low and awkward in a crowd of people standing. It was an amazing experience and one I'm really grateful for.
posted by Well I never at 2:22 PM on January 16 [28 favorites]
Music is played at safe levels for everyone. BFLF sets and monitors the volume using World Health Organisation guidelines – so that is it at a safe level for everyone, even the youngest babies, over the 2 hour duration of the event.
I'm glad to read this bc it was my first concern, but I'm still a little skeptical. Why don't they just state their levels in dB?
posted by SaltySalticid at 2:25 PM on January 16 [4 favorites]
I'm glad to read this bc it was my first concern, but I'm still a little skeptical. Why don't they just state their levels in dB?
posted by SaltySalticid at 2:25 PM on January 16 [4 favorites]
Music is played at safe levels for everyone.
That's actually really nice. Every elementary school gym dance I've been to with my children, the DJ thinks he's playing to drugged out 18 year olds in some field festival with everything turned up to 11.
posted by The_Vegetables at 2:29 PM on January 16 [7 favorites]
That's actually really nice. Every elementary school gym dance I've been to with my children, the DJ thinks he's playing to drugged out 18 year olds in some field festival with everything turned up to 11.
posted by The_Vegetables at 2:29 PM on January 16 [7 favorites]
> I have been trying to talk my friends into turning our thing we would spend 40
> hours doing in our youths into something that can be done in an afternoon or evening for 10 years now.
another D&D player, I see.
posted by Sauce Trough at 2:39 PM on January 16 [10 favorites]
> hours doing in our youths into something that can be done in an afternoon or evening for 10 years now.
another D&D player, I see.
posted by Sauce Trough at 2:39 PM on January 16 [10 favorites]
Sounds like they’re really good… at doing the clubbing.
posted by mbrubeck at 2:45 PM on January 16 [3 favorites]
posted by mbrubeck at 2:45 PM on January 16 [3 favorites]
Our toddler would LOVE this. I mean, depending on the day, but probably.
posted by solotoro at 2:49 PM on January 16 [3 favorites]
posted by solotoro at 2:49 PM on January 16 [3 favorites]
It's great, but I take aim at "we invented family disco". Francophile DJ Nick Nice has been doing it since 2010 in Madison.
Also - it's sad that any time I see "Mumsnet" my brain cringes thinking of all the Terfiness spawned out of there. That said - I do think it's a great idea.
posted by symbioid at 2:58 PM on January 16 [7 favorites]
Also - it's sad that any time I see "Mumsnet" my brain cringes thinking of all the Terfiness spawned out of there. That said - I do think it's a great idea.
posted by symbioid at 2:58 PM on January 16 [7 favorites]
> I'm glad to read this bc it was my first concern, but I'm still a little skeptical. Why don't they just state their levels in dB?
I bet most people don't know what a safe level is in dB, so this is more helpful. Like how I wish weather forecasts told me which coat to wear.
posted by The corpse in the library at 3:37 PM on January 16 [4 favorites]
I bet most people don't know what a safe level is in dB, so this is more helpful. Like how I wish weather forecasts told me which coat to wear.
posted by The corpse in the library at 3:37 PM on January 16 [4 favorites]
🎵 Get up and clean your teeth and try to bathe
It's 1 PM let's go out to a rave 🎵
posted by credulous at 6:19 PM on January 16 [5 favorites]
It's 1 PM let's go out to a rave 🎵
posted by credulous at 6:19 PM on January 16 [5 favorites]
I'd never in my life been to the kind of dance where the music just moves from one song to another with no breaks, and I loved it.
There are various scenes online where DJs post their mixes online, usually 1-2 hours but maybe longer, and yeah that mixed-through style is pretty much standard these days. Finding these sets has been a boon for me. Many of them are furry DJs posting sets from furry conventions I'm not attending. I'm glad they post them.
If you find a TRULY good DJ, they'll tell you a story across their set. One of my favorite examples of this is Junior Vasquez 2, a 2-CD set by one of the biggest house DJs of all time.
The sweet spot here is disk 2 of this set. [1h20m] It's an entire journey that begins with a call for unity and then proceeds to process through various kinds of interpersonal drama before calling for understanding and unity and peace once more. It's one hell of a journey, and if you like dancing in your living room, maybe you'll like this.
posted by hippybear at 6:35 PM on January 16 [8 favorites]
There are various scenes online where DJs post their mixes online, usually 1-2 hours but maybe longer, and yeah that mixed-through style is pretty much standard these days. Finding these sets has been a boon for me. Many of them are furry DJs posting sets from furry conventions I'm not attending. I'm glad they post them.
If you find a TRULY good DJ, they'll tell you a story across their set. One of my favorite examples of this is Junior Vasquez 2, a 2-CD set by one of the biggest house DJs of all time.
The sweet spot here is disk 2 of this set. [1h20m] It's an entire journey that begins with a call for unity and then proceeds to process through various kinds of interpersonal drama before calling for understanding and unity and peace once more. It's one hell of a journey, and if you like dancing in your living room, maybe you'll like this.
posted by hippybear at 6:35 PM on January 16 [8 favorites]
There's a podcast I listen to ("Hardcore will never Die" with DJEZC) which claims to be for "like minded geriatric ex-ravers"
posted by evilmonk at 6:38 PM on January 16 [1 favorite]
posted by evilmonk at 6:38 PM on January 16 [1 favorite]
if you like dancing in your living room, maybe you'll like this.
Oh, on a relisten, I see that it's the first 10 minutes which are the warm up and vibe alignment, and then it all just kicks in and goes from there.
So stick with it to the 10 minute mark and then see if you even bother checking the clock after that.
posted by hippybear at 6:44 PM on January 16 [1 favorite]
Oh, on a relisten, I see that it's the first 10 minutes which are the warm up and vibe alignment, and then it all just kicks in and goes from there.
So stick with it to the 10 minute mark and then see if you even bother checking the clock after that.
posted by hippybear at 6:44 PM on January 16 [1 favorite]
Just wanted to tip my cap to the title of the post. well played.
posted by martin q blank at 7:04 PM on January 16 [7 favorites]
posted by martin q blank at 7:04 PM on January 16 [7 favorites]
Just wanted to tip my cap to the title of the post.
The movie (and hopefully the post) were inspired by the OG version.
posted by netowl at 8:08 PM on January 16 [1 favorite]
The movie (and hopefully the post) were inspired by the OG version.
posted by netowl at 8:08 PM on January 16 [1 favorite]
Lovely. I'm slightly sad we didn't find something like this when my now-teenage son was younger, but I'm definitely sending it to my DJ brother who has a two year old. I'd be very interested to see how some of the names involved put together a tiny-friendly set.
posted by tomsk at 12:41 AM on January 17
posted by tomsk at 12:41 AM on January 17
the family rave for ‘two-to-four hour party people’.
We don’t let any lone adult groups (or lone children!) come to Big Fish Little Fish, but if they are a child-free aunt, uncle, or friend and want to come in a group with people with kids then that’s fine.
This is clever marketing for a Gymboree with a DJ and a bar.
posted by snuffleupagus at 3:17 AM on January 17
We don’t let any lone adult groups (or lone children!) come to Big Fish Little Fish, but if they are a child-free aunt, uncle, or friend and want to come in a group with people with kids then that’s fine.
This is clever marketing for a Gymboree with a DJ and a bar.
posted by snuffleupagus at 3:17 AM on January 17
Daily Mash archive. Advice from rave dads. Ex-raver dad delivers unconvincing drugs chat.
posted by TheophileEscargot at 3:26 AM on January 17 [2 favorites]
posted by TheophileEscargot at 3:26 AM on January 17 [2 favorites]
I used to work with Hannah for a year or two about twenty years ago. About a decade after our paths had diverged, I took my young kids to a small local family-friendly festival and BFLF were doing the dance tent. I have them to thank for one of my fondest memories from that stage of their childhood, which is of my son taking himself off on his own to dance to Voodoo Ray by A Guy Called Gerald. He just got lost in the music.
I remember also clocking that the DJ looked familiar... he was the dad of another kid at my son's nursery, and it turned out he had a past life as the keyboard player in the 90s band Jesus Jones. It was a nice reminder of the hinterland that everyone has, and which you don't necessarily see when you encounter people in just one setting.
posted by greycap at 3:55 AM on January 17 [21 favorites]
I remember also clocking that the DJ looked familiar... he was the dad of another kid at my son's nursery, and it turned out he had a past life as the keyboard player in the 90s band Jesus Jones. It was a nice reminder of the hinterland that everyone has, and which you don't necessarily see when you encounter people in just one setting.
posted by greycap at 3:55 AM on January 17 [21 favorites]
I understand but am very slightly bummed by their no lone adults rule, because I feel like a dance that starts early and isn't ear-splittingly loud and has places off to the side to sit and do crafts is my kind of dance.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:05 AM on January 17 [4 favorites]
posted by jacquilynne at 6:05 AM on January 17 [4 favorites]
I took my kid to a BFLF event some years ago, with the result that he can now claim to have been to the Slimelight* when he was three years old. It was a fun party with a very positive vibe - I think if you're the parent of a small child, the realisation sets in that if you're going to be sleep deprived and have nonsensical conversations over weirdly repetitive music, you might as well do it with decent lighting and a crowd.
Concerning daytime raves for adults: there does seem to have been an uptick in these, certainly in London, over the past few years - I've been to a bunch of trance oriented ones and I'm aware of some techno/house stuff as well. For some specific scenes/demographics it's clearly attractive just because sorting out babysitting is way easier than it would be for an all-nighter. There used to be more (non-child-oriented) events with lots of chillout space and craft tables out to the side (Planet Angel being the most obvious example), but of late an event with an actual functioning chillout room is a find in itself, I think partly because getting the space for it is very expensive.
* OK, Electrowerkz
posted by doop at 6:30 AM on January 17 [3 favorites]
Concerning daytime raves for adults: there does seem to have been an uptick in these, certainly in London, over the past few years - I've been to a bunch of trance oriented ones and I'm aware of some techno/house stuff as well. For some specific scenes/demographics it's clearly attractive just because sorting out babysitting is way easier than it would be for an all-nighter. There used to be more (non-child-oriented) events with lots of chillout space and craft tables out to the side (Planet Angel being the most obvious example), but of late an event with an actual functioning chillout room is a find in itself, I think partly because getting the space for it is very expensive.
* OK, Electrowerkz
posted by doop at 6:30 AM on January 17 [3 favorites]
I'd love to see this done in a format where the DJ is in between two spaces: one for unaccompanied adults, the other slightly more secure and everyone is being extra mindful of the shorties.
This makes me ache a little for the thing I have long half-joked about doing one day: Sunday Afternoon Goth & Industrial (SAGI). My concept had been more geared to accommodating people in their 50s-60s, but honestly with a few tweaks that's equally kid-friendly except for the language in some of the songs.
posted by Lyn Never at 6:39 AM on January 17 [2 favorites]
This makes me ache a little for the thing I have long half-joked about doing one day: Sunday Afternoon Goth & Industrial (SAGI). My concept had been more geared to accommodating people in their 50s-60s, but honestly with a few tweaks that's equally kid-friendly except for the language in some of the songs.
posted by Lyn Never at 6:39 AM on January 17 [2 favorites]
PLURD
Peace, Love, Unity, Respect, Diapers
posted by HumanComplex at 7:20 AM on January 17 [3 favorites]
Peace, Love, Unity, Respect, Diapers
posted by HumanComplex at 7:20 AM on January 17 [3 favorites]
So, for people who want something similar to this but don't have kids, there is Daybreaker and Morning Gloryville. Both have been going for at least a decade.
posted by rednikki at 7:22 AM on January 17 [2 favorites]
posted by rednikki at 7:22 AM on January 17 [2 favorites]
Lyn Never, I have been seriously considering doing a Goth/Industrial brunch in Boston. I just don't know if anyone would attend.
posted by rednikki at 7:23 AM on January 17 [1 favorite]
posted by rednikki at 7:23 AM on January 17 [1 favorite]
Two-To-Four Hour Party People
I
Wanna rock & roll two hours
And party over by 9
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:37 AM on January 17 [8 favorites]
I
Wanna rock & roll two hours
And party over by 9
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:37 AM on January 17 [8 favorites]
Back in the 90's some friends in Baltimore did something similar. They missed going to shows so they built a stage in their backyard and starting hosting bands for family-friendly shows on weekend afternoons. It became quite a thing for a while.
posted by slogger at 9:50 AM on January 17
posted by slogger at 9:50 AM on January 17
Definitely saw a bunch of families at Piknic Electronik (in Montreal), so I think the concept of a family-friendly rave is not necessarily totally new. The families come early and leave early, and the partiers come late and stay late.
posted by subdee at 9:51 AM on January 17
posted by subdee at 9:51 AM on January 17
I've been to a few of these with the kids. Haven't managed to convince them yet that jungle or techno is 'real' music. They're also not impressed that I used to rave with Hannah the first time around (that'll be the 90s). Heathens.
posted by LemmySays at 9:53 AM on January 17 [2 favorites]
posted by LemmySays at 9:53 AM on January 17 [2 favorites]
Similarly, if you want to dance like nobody’s watching but at a reasonable hour, someone might be running a No Lights No Lycra session near you.
posted by d-no at 12:02 PM on January 17 [1 favorite]
posted by d-no at 12:02 PM on January 17 [1 favorite]
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Charly says, "Always tell your mummy before you go off somewhere."
posted by Dr Ew at 1:31 PM on January 16 [3 favorites]