you’re so good at it, you could be a professional

February 12, 2024 11:04 AM

The surreal life of a professional bridesmaid For the last decade, Jen Glantz has worked as a bridesmaid for hire. Her life is a romantic comedy waiting to happen - by Katherine Laidlaw at The Hustle
posted by bq (28 comments total)

That was fascinating. I can't believe it isn't a movie yet.
posted by jacquilynne at 11:24 AM on February 12 [3 favorites]

Over on Reddit there are so many stories that hit BestOfRedditorUpdates that center around weddings and just how bug nut crazy people get. (For instance, oOne of today's stories is about a bride who had a phone free wedding, including reception, and got mad when the writer went out to the parking lot to take a phone call about her mom being in an accident. The bride is now an ex-friend for reasons.)

I would rather eat hot glass shards than do what this woman is doing for a living (or going to almost any wedding), but if she's helping people have a great/good day then she's doing something grand.
posted by drewbage1847 at 11:26 AM on February 12 [10 favorites]

Completely fascinating. I mean, I guess if there are professional mourners there are professional wedding attendees...

TV series should be launching next year, I'd think.
posted by hippybear at 11:27 AM on February 12 [1 favorite]

I was in Ruddigore as a professional bridesmaid and my part was nothing like this.
posted by HypotheticalWoman at 11:27 AM on February 12 [2 favorites]

I went into the article fully prepared to snark; if not here in the comments at least in my head. But the very first anecdote completely changed my mind; she really is helping people at a really stressful time in their lives. Whether it should be that stressful is a discussion worth having, but for now it is what it is. A good companion piece to this article, previously featured on MeFI.
posted by TedW at 11:29 AM on February 12 [9 favorites]

Usually therapists get multiple hundreds of dollars an hour, for incalls. I think she's undercharging.
posted by seanmpuckett at 11:46 AM on February 12 [10 favorites]

This seems reasonable. It's basically just a wedding day-of coordinator and maybe also planner, but for people who also don't happen to have enough female friends to fill out their bridal party.

I agree she probably should be charging more for this service than she is.
posted by potrzebie at 11:48 AM on February 12 [8 favorites]

drewbage1847 I thought those Reddit stories were mostly creative writing exercises.

Also, I was under the impression that you had to either bite the bullet and step out with your forever friend or elope. As half of a couple who has had this discussion, I did not know that there were a lot of people with this "problem", let alone enough people willing to pay to make it profitable.
posted by Selena777 at 11:59 AM on February 12

The main difference from being a wedding coordinator seems to be her pretending not to be a wedding coordinator. As she says in the article, "people don’t have the support networks they need." But what's much sadder is the apparent need her clients have to lie about the fact that they hired someone to help provide that support, when they shouldn't feel any shame. (The people who spend "upward of $500k" on a party have plenty to be ashamed of, but that's a separate issue.)
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 11:59 AM on February 12 [4 favorites]

This made be nostalgic for the golden era of Craigslist.
posted by coffeecat at 12:21 PM on February 12 [4 favorites]

That bar chart is .... something. Who knew that 1800 is smack dab in the middle of 2000 and 2200? Definitely don't hire that bridesmaid for your data analysis needs!
posted by Dashy at 12:31 PM on February 12 [1 favorite]

This is fascinating, and I respect the hustle. I do find this Friend-For-Hire as a concept bizarre and sad. I've been to two different weddings where the bride and groom just opted out of having a wedding party at all. No bridesmaids, no groomsmen - though it was because they had the opposite problem of TOO many close friends, there was no way they could choose. Everyone* respected this decision and the wedding was otherwise extremely normal! No one questioned why they were on the altar alone, even the older and more traditional guests.

That is all to say, seems like this solution could easily be applied to this same problem! Not enough close friends? Just..don't have a bridal and groomsmen party how about? People ask why - "Oh we couldn't choose, didn't want the hassle, wanted our wedding to be about us, wanted our guests to enjoy themselves." There, easy.

^{*Everyone except one pissed off close friend of the bride who felt like she was being slighted - "YOU were my bridesmades, I can't believe I wouldn't be one of YOURS!" - but oh well, fuck 'em, it's not their wedding!}
posted by windbox at 12:31 PM on February 12 [2 favorites]

That bar chart is .... something. Who knew that 1800 is smack dab in the middle of 2000 and 2200? Definitely don't hire that bridesmaid for your data analysis needs!

That erroneous bar chart is provided by the publication, not the subject of the article.
posted by neutralhydrogen at 12:54 PM on February 12 [12 favorites]

There have been a lot previously published stories about her.
2017 book by her.
posted by Ideefixe at 1:21 PM on February 12 [1 favorite]

In regards to professional mourners, a friend of mine and I have an agreement. For the internment of the first of us to die, the other will appear at the cemetery, dressed in black, observing from a distance and will drive off in a black car when anyone approaches. You know, just to make it look like the deceased was up to something...
posted by Ber at 1:37 PM on February 12 [21 favorites]

I went into the article fully prepared to snark; if not here in the comments at least in my head. But the very first anecdote completely changed my mind

I remain cynical - upon a second read, not only was this the "first" anecdote, it was literally the only anecdote. The rest is vague obscurities where I suppose we are supposed to fill in the blanks and use our imagination - "running interference for family" and whatnot. Ok, what's that, what do you mean?

I suspect it's because what it actually means, and from the looks of her website, is that she is literally just...a day-of wedding coordinator. Which is an actual thing, hiring another person on top of the wedding planner to be a liaison and keep things running.

But she's brilliant at it because she sells it as this ultra-glamorous and extra-savvy Professional Bridesmaid BFF for hire who got started with, oh wow, craigslist ads. If you want, she'll even make a cover story like Keri Russel in The Americans and pretend to be your best friend if you don't have one! And it's a truly brilliant example of image and branding management because it all translates into exciting PR stories like this one. Because wait reader, there is more! According to her website, she also offers "online courses" on how you too can become a glamorous wedding business master, or you can buy the book she is hawking to learn the "business secrets" of her job.

There have been a lot previously published stories about her.

Lol, yuppp. That wikipedia article is hilarious for it's existence alone - why the hell would a wedding coordinator even have a wiki? Because she is a "famous" and important "public figure" you see, and she might be really expensive, but she's basically the Celebrity Wedding Coordinator with books and puff pieces about her. She's worth it.

I know I sound like I'm just dishing haterade, but truly I love this stuff. I think it's a brilliant exercise in branding, PR, and entrepreneurship. Kudos to her! But also, let us all acknowledge that this article is exactly that: PR shlock.
posted by windbox at 1:42 PM on February 12 [5 favorites]

so windbox what I hear you saying is, there's hope for me to be that Poop Coach I know I can be, one day?
posted by elkevelvet at 2:01 PM on February 12

Didn't Japan create Poop Coach robots?
posted by hippybear at 2:06 PM on February 12

It's very sad that people are so sucked into the 'your wedding day must be not only so very special to you but also look so very glamorous' that they're prepared to hire people to pretend to be their best friend to make it so. No criticism for her - she's just providing a service that people want and not hurting anyone in the process. it's just a shame that people's lifelong memory of their wedding includes a person that they paid to be their friend.
posted by dg at 4:00 PM on February 12

It's very sad that people are so sucked into the 'your wedding day must be not only so very special to you but also look so very glamorous' that they're prepared to hire people to pretend to be their best friend to make it so.

I think there is a lot of external pressure from family and possibly friend-groups on brides in particular that makes it so that this bridesmaid-for-hire is appealing. It's no different in my mind than a wedding planner. But in this case, you are preserving your closest friendships, which has a lot of value.
posted by Toddles at 8:29 PM on February 12

I think there is a lot of external pressure from family and possibly friend-groups on brides in particular

Family, ok you can't choose your family, and in many cases family is the one paying so that's extra pressure.

But friend-groups, ugh get new non-judgy friends people! And by playing into this to impress your friends, you've just increased the pressure on the everyone else to do the same.
posted by LizBoBiz at 9:24 PM on February 12

I don't really buy the pressure from friends driving someone to rent a bridesmaid. Any actual friends won't be fooled for a second no matter how carefully crafted the cover story is and you just end up perceived as preferring to hire a stranger than ask any one of your friends to be part of your wedding journey. In theory, it's an honour to be asked, as far as I know.
posted by dg at 10:36 PM on February 12

In theory, it's an honour to be asked, as far as I know.

Very much in theory; as the first part of the article is at pains to point out, in practice it's extraordinarily stressful and expensive, requiring someone to suddenly acquire a lot of skill in, essentially, project management and event planning, when they may well have no experience in or aptitude for it whatsoever.

How much better to have someone on board who HAS those skills and does not have to worry that any hitch in the giddyup will ruin a lifelong friendship?
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 7:30 AM on February 13 [2 favorites]

Get better friends? That’s not as easy as it sounds after age 30. I think a lot of people who drop toxic friend groups or move just end up with NO close friends.
posted by bq at 7:46 AM on February 13 [6 favorites]

I remain cynical - upon a second read, not only was this the "first" anecdote, it was literally the only anecdote. The rest is vague obscurities where I suppose we are supposed to fill in the blanks and use our imagination - "

Uhhhh picking up dog poop with her bare hands to keep the bride's dress from trailing in it really hits as a very specific anecdote to me!
posted by tiny frying pan at 10:00 AM on February 13 [3 favorites]

I've already seen this Katherine heigl movie
posted by Bwentman at 8:45 PM on February 13

This is because of Disney princesses. Kind of. One thing I’ve seen with younger friends and family members is it’s very much cultural. Even with your garden variety white people, some clans expect big weddings and some don’t. But even for the former it seems to have gotten crazier. My first marriage was into a “big wedding” family and 25 years ago that meant maid of honor +2 other bridesmaids and best man + 2 other groomsmen. This 6-12 bridesmaids stuff is nuts!

Also second time around I did the courthouse and witnesses thing and got pizza with my new wife for lunch. Highly recommended.
posted by caviar2d2 at 8:56 AM on February 14

Bwentman, yes I also I’m immediately thought of 27 Dresses
posted by billsaysthis at 8:48 PM on February 14