April 17, 2003 6:11 AM   Subscribe

Mmm. Oh yeah, that's right. That's perfect, right there, yeah. Dutch technology means you no longer need someone else if you want a good massage. And don't try to tell me that this works.
posted by Pretty_Generic (23 comments total)
I have any number of female friends who will tell you the Magic Wand works very well if you use it in the right places.

(Possibly with the optional "Gee Whiz Attachments.")
posted by Cyrano at 6:18 AM on April 17, 2003

If I didn't feel like a troop of dancing elephants were practising on my spine I'd go hunt down the list of "Victorian Personal Massagers". They were a kinky lot for someone so prudish...
posted by twine42 at 6:42 AM on April 17, 2003

I don't think they all actually belonged to Victoria.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 6:45 AM on April 17, 2003

Damn, Cyrano beat me to it. I don't see how this Tickle can possibly generate enough pressure to make the massage worthwhile - it seems like it would only... well, tickle.

On the other hand, this works beautifully.
posted by widdershins at 7:05 AM on April 17, 2003

Kind of cool. but its called "tickle". Not much of a massager I would guess. How heavy could it be? now if it was 5 - 10 pounds it could be nice.
posted by tomplus2 at 7:06 AM on April 17, 2003

Awwwww... it's so cute! Forget the massage, I just want a flock of them scooting randomly around the house.
posted by ook at 7:16 AM on April 17, 2003

I have to disagree with a lot of Sex-in-the-City-bots who think the Hitachi is the "Cadillac of Vibrators". Perhaps some ladies just like a slight whum-whum-whum and will be happy with what it has to offer. But for a large, large number of women, you need real industrial power to flip the right switches. For them, I personally recommend The Wahl. Attach the "spot massager" head and you're ready to go. It's only two speeds, but I'll tell you that you'll never need more than the first (low) setting.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 7:51 AM on April 17, 2003

So, this wand, it...
oh forget it!
posted by jozxyqk at 8:02 AM on April 17, 2003

I'm a big fan of the Shogun Shiatsu massager. It takes a little patience to get it in the right spot, and then it takes a little more patience before you'll relax and give it a chance, but it does give a good kneading massage once it hits the sweet spot. I prop it up on my pillows in bed when I'm reading or watching tube, and lean back on it with a fair amount of body weight, and it does a good job.
posted by vito90 at 8:07 AM on April 17, 2003

When it encounters a slope that is too steep...
posted by sklero at 8:56 AM on April 17, 2003

We just love the idea of an autonomously mobile device that can do "work" for us. Look at the Roomba Vac. Next will be a little robot that drags a comb through your hair, or a teeny depilation agent that plucks while you sleep. How about a smart cockroach-hunting device the size of a hot-wheel? Anyone with capital want to get right on one of these ideas? Email me!!!
posted by scarabic at 10:05 AM on April 17, 2003

I've never watched Sex In The City so I don't think I qualify as a bot, but I will stand up and testify for the Hitachi. Like the Wahl, it also only has two speeds, and like Civil, I've never needed more than the first (low) setting.

That said, given Civil's recommendation, I may have to try the Wahl.

And all THAT said, I have to agree that this Tickler thing is cuter than either the Hitachi or the Wahl. Why do the really good vibrators have to look like kitchen utensils?
posted by arielmeadow at 10:26 AM on April 17, 2003

From the specs page:

"When it encounters a slope that is too steep, it will steer until a safe level is found, and it will continue its way.
This behaviour is implemented using a hardware finite state machine."

What does that last bit mean? Sounds...deep.
posted by tpl1212 at 10:32 AM on April 17, 2003

Vibrators, blah, blah, blah.

Did no one check out the rest of this website? If you go up a level, you get gems such as this time lapse photography of a park in Amsterdam over the course of 2001. Mesmerizing...

Or this exhibit in which wax shapes are continuously "generated, documented, presented and degenerated." I'm not much of the artsy type but from an engineering standpoint, that looks like a fun project to have worked on.
posted by topherbecker at 11:12 AM on April 17, 2003

They were threatening to sell those ticklebots a while ago, I put my name down but nothing ever came of it. Ho hum.

tpl1212: A "hardware finite state machine", in this particular case, is a very simple bit of electronics. It sounds impressive though, and it actually is, because they've made a robot-like device that doesn't use a microprocessor to control it.
posted by chrid at 11:42 AM on April 17, 2003

They weren't using the Hitachi Magic Wand on Sex and the City. They were using the Rabbit Pearl, which is pretty much totally different.

I don't want to offer myself up as a connoisseur of masturbation implements, or anything like that, because I'm not. But uhh, I've used wand vibrators and I've used the Rabbit, and OHMYGOD. Uhm. Yea. Yay Rabbit.
posted by blindambition at 12:39 PM on April 17, 2003

I've used a fairly decent variety of vibrators, and I've got to say that Hitachi-san is far and away my favorite. I have been considering trying out the Wahl, and it will probably be my next sex toy purchase.

Rabbit vibrators? Pretty much suck. At least for me they do.

And now that y'all know more about me than you wanted to, I'm going to go away now.
posted by eilatan at 1:28 PM on April 17, 2003

So... what about the sybian?
posted by hincandenza at 1:51 PM on April 17, 2003

What about the Sybian? At over $1300, it's a little out of range for most of us.
posted by arielmeadow at 2:20 PM on April 17, 2003

I'm with vito90 on the Shogun Shiatsu massager as the best back massage machine on the planet (best Xmas present ever), but sometimes I find that just having light pressure on my back, or "tickles" tends to relax my muscles more ... so this thing looks really cool to me. As does the Tickle Salon. :D

And as far as "other" vibrating devices go, no comment. I have a man. He doesn't vibrate, but he does all sorts of other interesting things. ;)
posted by Orb at 5:52 PM on April 17, 2003

Orb...have you ever tried using it on an appendage that fits between the knobs? (settle down, people) Like put your wrist in there, or your foot or achilles heel? That thing has some serious torque.
posted by vito90 at 8:28 PM on April 17, 2003

Yeah, but what about for those times when your man doesn't feel like it? Sick or just not in the mood? It's nice to own your personal sexual life.
posted by stoneegg21 at 8:32 PM on April 17, 2003

Just because you've got a man doesn't mean you shouldn't or can't use vibrators as well. And not just during foreplay. While some, like the Hitachi, make sex difficult without adjusting positions, the Wahl can usually fit provided your man's little friend is long enough. The best vibrator to use during sex, however, looks like a large bullet, has a small connecting wire that attaches to a battery pack that can be placed nicely out of the way under a pillow. Don't bother buying one of those "wearable" ones, though (the ones with four straps that connect around your legs). They're useless unless you can get off with the barest of pressure. And if that's the case, just use your fingers.

This unsolicited sexual advice brought to you Civil Disobedient, who would like to remind the audience that he's a man.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 2:47 AM on April 18, 2003

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