July 27, 2000
6:02 PM   Subscribe

Wow, get a life.
posted by highindustrial (17 comments total)
Can't be bothered -- too busy preventing pregnant women from being executed, over here.
posted by dhartung at 6:18 PM on July 27, 2000

I think we'd better address the cause of Non-Organic Pregnant Spiderwomen and Their Representation in Hollywood Execution Blockbusters right away.
posted by EssenDreck at 6:32 PM on July 27, 2000

How can you think about pregnant women when the future of comic book-based entertainment is at stake?
posted by Bryan at 6:33 PM on July 27, 2000

Spider-Man should be portrayed by a pregnant woman.
posted by ZachsMind at 6:54 PM on July 27, 2000

A Non-Organic Pregnant Spiderwoman movie should be directed by a non-organic director, preferably Joel Schumacher.
posted by byun at 7:05 PM on July 27, 2000

No self-respecting Spider should fatten the wallets of the Motion Picture Association of America. Stay home, read the comics.
posted by quonsar at 7:17 PM on July 27, 2000

Joel Schumacher should direct himself towards the caldera of an active volcano.
posted by highindustrial at 7:25 PM on July 27, 2000

And I've wondered for years why SpiderMan has every power of a spider except to shoot webs. Big f*cking deal... I think it's a damn good idea (you can only see the "falling-off-a-building-and-yelling-'shit-I'm-out-of-web-fluid!!!' " routine so many times).

And in keeping in the spirit of the thread:
If SpiderMan gets pregnant. yes he should be executed!
posted by CyberPal at 7:30 PM on July 27, 2000

If Spiderman is going to have organic spider glands, they should be spun out of his butt, not his wrists.
posted by PaperCut at 8:29 PM on July 27, 2000

I just got a call from the Committee to Really Appreciate Pregnant Spiders (CRAPS) and their lawyers will be calling in the morning.
P.S. I don't think that Joel Schumacher comment was appropriate - our volcanoes must be kept clean and free of litter!
posted by EssenDreck at 9:06 PM on July 27, 2000

Hey, I don't see Batman shouting "Oh no, I'm out of guano!" It's bigotry, that's what it is. There should be a law for this.
posted by fable at 9:28 PM on July 27, 2000

Um, don't spiders lay eggs? I don't think a 'pregnant spider' is possible.

But if one should exist, it's undoubtedly a sinful abomination of nature that must be corrected . . .

Or executed, whatever works.
posted by aladfar at 9:40 PM on July 27, 2000

Hey, the "I'm out of web fluid" thing could still happen. "Organic" doesn't mean "endless supply of fluid."Of course, we are talking about pregnant man spiders here, so I suppose anything is possible...
posted by dogwelder at 11:06 PM on July 27, 2000

From a Comic fan point of view, this doesn't make any sense at all. For years, everyone's raved about how Venom and Carnage had organic webshooters. Now they're up in arms because Sony wants to do the same thing to Spider-Man?

I don't see the problem, except it would be strange to see him eat his mate just after he becomes pregnant. And of course, he'll be executed for that.
posted by Cavatica at 4:05 AM on July 28, 2000

I wonder if Spiderman will generate web fluid as quickly as he generates sperm.
posted by cCranium at 6:21 AM on July 28, 2000

Sam Raimi??? I thought Former Secretary of Defense Dick Cheney was directing it??!??!!
posted by CyberPal at 10:57 AM on July 28, 2000

Many die-hard fans are offended by this because the original origin of Spidey had him as a scientific genius; an egghead. That's why he GOT spidey-powers. He was attending this Eggbrain scientific expo where there was this radiation experiment, a spider that accidently fell into the radiation experiment then soon after bit Peter Parker, and the rest, as they say in the comic books, is history True Believers!

Had he not been an egghead, he would have been watching a football game or something, and the spider woulda bit somebody else.

Now. The fact he created his own web-shooter thingies were another example of his Eggbraininess. However, from that point on things took a different turn. He really didn't ever have another opportunity to show how scientifically saavy he was. It was like in return for spidey-sense, he lost any interest in being an eggbrain.

In fact, soon after he gets the spidey-powers, Parker decides to make money with them as a professional wrestler! It's true! Look it up! Does THAT sound like the mindset of a scientific genius in action? Then when he gets out of college, he gets a job NOT as a scientific genius, but as a two-bit photographer for the Daily Bugle.

Early on in Spidey's career he may have been an egghead, but for the majority of his existence, he's been little more than an angst-ridden slacker. I think the man-made webshooters have always been illogical compared to the rest of his story. It makes more since that the webshooters are organic.

And it does make more sense, scientifically speaking, that they should come out of his ass. Wouldn't THAT make a great movie!

"Mary Jane I'm a comin' home!" *BRRRRRAAAAPP!!*
posted by ZachsMind at 8:10 PM on July 28, 2000

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