This Is Truly the Summer of Live Wire
June 29, 2003 5:54 PM   Subscribe

Every year, the end of school signals the beginning of the summer season: a time of taking advantage of the warm weather, relaxing by the pool , softball games, and the enjoyment of your favorite cold beverage.

While some people prefer lemonade or iced tea or maybe even a nice cold beer (my Dad's preference), I have always been partial to carbonated beverages. For crisp refreshment, nothing seems to beat the crisp, refreshing taste of a crisp, refreshing Pepsi or Mountain Dew.

In recent years, however, I have found myself becoming increasingly disillusioned with the quality of sodas that are available each summer. Sure, a Sierra Mist may provide temporary relief from the summer heat; but can it fill this void that I feel inside of me—this hole, this yearning for something more?

My friends, I have finally found the solution to our plight. The answer lies within in a soda with the familiar orange flavor of Minute Maid and the fully-loaded lemon-lime taste of Mountain Dew.

No, it's not the new Sprite Remix. The solution lies within Pepsi's new Mountaid Dew LiveWire.

One glass of LiveWire; that's all it takes. One glass of LiveWire to forget your troubles. One glass of Live Wire to feel truly satisfied—truly fulfilled.

My friends, this summer will be like no other.

This is truly the summer of LiveWire.

There, it's done. Enough sucking up. Now let the residual checks start rolling in...
posted by GT_RULES (47 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: AdFilter!

Thums Up! Taste The Thunder!

My TiVo let's me skip ads, I wish my browser and brain would let me skip this thread.
posted by riffola at 6:04 PM on June 29, 2003

You have simply got to be kidding. I'm having visions of Pepsi Blue right here in front of my own eyes.
posted by billsaysthis at 6:04 PM on June 29, 2003

this must not be the viagra-fortified version i keep hearing about, as rumor has it that one is to be called "mount & do".
posted by quonsar at 6:04 PM on June 29, 2003

Oh great, more factory-fresh sugar water to contribute to this nations obesity problem. (Yes, i went to the sugar. You had to see it coming with this post.)

We need very clear indications of just how much sugar is in these beverages, and the harm that much sugar can cause.

The World Health Organization says that a maximum of 10% of your daily caloric intake should be comprised of sugar. The sugar industry says the number is closer to 25%. But even the least observant of us can notice the increasing rates of obesity in this country, and look at how much our eating habits have changed over the last 50 years. How many people would have thought, 50 years ago, to order a Coke with every meal you had. Soda used to be a treat, now it is a regular menu item, and the portions are only getting larger. Order a combo meal at Taco Bell/KFC and get a 1/2 gallon pepsi for only 99 cents more. An Large Coke at White Castle is 44 ounces, a Medium is 32 ounces.

Look at the amount of sugar thats being taken into the bodies of the average consumer, and look at the obesity rates skyrocketing.
posted by benjh at 6:04 PM on June 29, 2003

Life imitates hyperbole.
posted by PrinceValium at 6:06 PM on June 29, 2003

It's not often you get to see a ritual suicide on the front page of MetaFilter...

The check from PepsiCo? It bounced.
posted by wendell at 6:07 PM on June 29, 2003

Man, I hate when I'm not able to get the joke... I mean, it IS a joke, right, GT?
posted by jonson at 6:08 PM on June 29, 2003

As long as there's no soy or tofu in it, I really don't see the problem.

Now, is this something you need tastebuds to enjoy? Cause.....yeah, yeah. I know.
posted by Salmonberry at 6:09 PM on June 29, 2003

worst formatting ever
posted by matteo at 6:11 PM on June 29, 2003

The solution lies within Pepsi's new Mountaid Dew LiveWire.

Shit, boy, obviously you never had yourself some Cheerwine. Now that's sody-pop.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:20 PM on June 29, 2003

GT, very long post, not very good links, could you possibly be serious? For what it's worth, I tried the orange-colored Dew. Tastes like Orange Crush with lemon dish detergent added. Not in a good way.

Highly deleteable FPP.
posted by theora55 at 6:24 PM on June 29, 2003

Like I said in the adjacent thread, GT, this stuff is supposed to be viral. Subtle. Ramming it down the target market's throat (pun intended, natch) doesn't cause those bling-bling royalty checkies to roll in quite as fast.
posted by Vidiot at 6:32 PM on June 29, 2003

Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!
posted by Joeforking at 6:36 PM on June 29, 2003

Feckle Feckle Feckle Freezers.
posted by mcwetboy at 6:39 PM on June 29, 2003

GT, you go to Georgia Tech, across the street from Coca-Cola's headquarters. At least you could support the local economy instead of selling out to Pepsi.
posted by Frank Grimes at 6:41 PM on June 29, 2003

If these are jokes, I don't get it. If they're not jokes.. well, I still don't get it. But I did try the orange dew, because I quite like the green dew and the red dew (tho I have cut back to one or less a month.. Unlike soy, its painfully obvious that this stuff can't possibly be good for you). The orange dew is IMO quite dissapointing. Tastes like mcdonalds "orange drink", except carbonated.
posted by duckstab at 6:45 PM on June 29, 2003

Wow, I'm seeing a textad for Moxie. Didn't know they still made the stuff.
posted by Vidiot at 6:50 PM on June 29, 2003

Where is mathowie... We need mathowie to put this thread out of our misery. (I'm a Cactus Cooler man myself, have been for years...) NO!!! NO!!! MUST RESIST...
posted by wendell at 6:54 PM on June 29, 2003

Let the calling-out commence.
posted by Vidiot at 6:55 PM on June 29, 2003

While you wait, wendell, why not have a refreshing soda pop.
posted by Jimbob at 6:56 PM on June 29, 2003

Mmmmmmm, brominated vegetable oil.
posted by TimeFactor at 7:04 PM on June 29, 2003

Kill this thread now, if not sooner.
posted by pmurray63 at 7:17 PM on June 29, 2003

holy shit! before this is deleted, I just wanted to say -- this is much worse than the similarly horrible mcdonalds commercial above it.
posted by dogmatic at 7:18 PM on June 29, 2003

I am old enough to recall a drink that was a big seller. Called Hadacall. Claimed it would cure lots of things (it was not sold as soda but as remedy)...Then the govt noted that it was some 15 % alcahol and closed them down. When ask.ed where the name came from, the maker said We had to call it something.
posted by Postroad at 7:22 PM on June 29, 2003

If you say for instance, that Live Wire tastes like donkey piss, would that lower the size of the checks?
posted by signal at 7:24 PM on June 29, 2003

Frank Grimes: I was about to disclaim this post on behalf of the Institute (which, being a lowly alumnus, I have absolutely no authority to do, but what the hell? Matt's deleting this one anyway, right?), but a cursory search of available directories shows that our poster is not and has never been a student at Georgia Tech (or at least never graduated; I know that "giving money" isn't a criterion for inclusion in the Alumni Directory, as I'm in there and haven't even done so much as open up a Tech Alumni MBNA Credit account they send me monthly snailspam for), so maybe he didn't know that all good Tech students are well-indoctrinated Cokeheads. I personally tend to believe that it's the mind-control machine hidden on the windowless floor of the headquarters building across North Avenue (because any organization with as much CIA cred as Coke must get to play with the cool toys, right?), but maybe it's because they keep the Pepsi at the Howell Mill Kroger back behind the Customer Service desk, along with the quarters (that they'll only give you three dollars at a time the cheap bastards) and the cigarettes, so you have to ask for it like a potential shoplifter. I remember that Marriott poured Coke in the campus concessions while I was there (how could they not?) - does anyone currently there know if they sell Pepsi in the grocery store they put in the West Campus parking deck?

I'd go on for longer, to push down the signal-to-noise ratio (as if this thread does not merit deletion on its own, err, merit), but maybe we're all wrong and this really is subtle humor, and we're just churning out the troll food. (I will go on record as saying that if this actually was funny, I must be getting old.)

Oh, and not to harp on spelling or anything, but doesn't Mountaid sound like a Richard Gere-produced vaguely folkish alterna-rock Central Park concert to raise money for cleaning up the Everest Shit Glacier?

There. I've finally written a hideous comment the size of the hideous post. My work here is done.
posted by Vetinari at 7:47 PM on June 29, 2003

Mountain Dew? fuck that weak shit.

The next great beverage is Boone's Farm Melon Ball Flavored wine product.

It's really fucking green. Like Yoda piss green and it's $2.50 a bottle. That's a tasty beverage, man.
posted by jonmc at 8:02 PM on June 29, 2003

Boons Farm rasberry hard lemonade...

but does this "live wire" have caffeen? I can't have cafinated drinks... but I want to see if all your free promotion is right....

Sierra Mist... at least is caffeen free, and its fucking good.

But as far as non alcoholic soda... nothing wil EVER beat Canada Dry Gingerale...
posted by LoopSouth at 8:09 PM on June 29, 2003

Postroad: Hadacol.
posted by dobbs at 8:10 PM on June 29, 2003

Quarters are easily obtainable at the Publix stores at Ansley Mall and on Piedmont. FYI.
posted by Vidiot at 8:10 PM on June 29, 2003

I didn't know sierra mist was a pepsi product... I fucking hate pepsi producs or anything related to pepsi... (pizza hut shoud be completely banned as should taco bell... I aint running for no taco bell boarder... I'll stick with Taco Cabana, thankyou... ) and the pepsi owned ship companies need work too.... right now they are just making badly tasting chip-shaped products...

Why I like sierra mist is beyond me..

This livewire shit... does have caffeen... the same amounst as regular mountan dew, and that is more than in any coke product. make you drinks addictive not taste good might be a good stratigy for pepsi, since they have a hard time making a good tasting cola.

RC cola is my cola of choice... but then there is cherry/vanilla coke... mmmm.... if I could only drink caffeen... there is no cherry/vanlla coke that is caffeen free but at least there is a cafffeen free regular coke and the taste is the same. (just add some cherry juice or some vanilla extract...)

Doc Browns makes a good black cherry cola... yum yum...

anyone remember Josta? that shit was goooood... I wonder why it went by the wayside?

I would drink Dr. pepper if it was caffeen free... the thing I like about Dr. Pepper, is that each can tastes a little different... I wonder why?
posted by LoopSouth at 8:19 PM on June 29, 2003

...I like water...
posted by fatbobsmith at 8:30 PM on June 29, 2003

Postroad, that's funny. More Hadacol.
posted by carter at 8:33 PM on June 29, 2003

Vetinari, I guessed GT_Rules was a Yellow Jacket by his user name and the yellow jacket animation and GT links on his webpage.

Vidiot, how much are the quarters at Publix? Even with my Kroger card, I can only get 4 for a dollar.
posted by Frank Grimes at 8:35 PM on June 29, 2003

They're not bad, Frank Grimes. I think it's a volume discount there, because you can get 40 for $10.
posted by Vidiot at 8:47 PM on June 29, 2003

What I'd like to find, is a line of sodas that are exactly like popular sodas, but about half as sweet. Anyone know of a good root beer that isn't sicky sweet? Of the popular ones, barq's hits the spot best for me.
posted by duckstab at 8:53 PM on June 29, 2003

Wow -- this is one weird day on MetaFilter...
posted by spilon at 9:01 PM on June 29, 2003

Let me know if you find that root beer, duckstab. But you may want to try Vernor's ginger ale, if you can find it where you live. It's the only ginger ale I've ever tasted that actually tastes like ginger.
posted by Vidiot at 9:05 PM on June 29, 2003

FYI, LoopSouth, Taco Bell and Pizza Hut were divested from Pepsi a couple years ago. The new conglomerate, Yum! Brands, Inc. (I'm not kidding, the "!" is part of the company name), now also owns KFC (aka Kentucky Fried Chicken or Colonel Sanders), A&W (the drive-ins but not the root beer in the supermarkets) and Long John Silver's Fish and Chips. Their domination of greasy fast food chains that are not burger-centered is almost as bad as Clear Channel's radio monopoly, with the only holdout apparently being Weinerschnitzel, but their corporate website is apparently down and.... AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! WHAT AM I DOING?!?!?!? MATT, COME HOME AND DELETE THESE MONSTROSITIES!!!!
posted by wendell at 9:14 PM on June 29, 2003

I think we should start a tipjar so we can buy Matt a pager. That way he can delete this stuff sooner. ;)
posted by Vidiot at 9:26 PM on June 29, 2003

Are you sure there isn't an NYT link [reg. required] to go with this?
posted by britain at 9:34 PM on June 29, 2003

posted by troutfishing at 9:39 PM on June 29, 2003

[this is bad]
posted by jca at 9:42 PM on June 29, 2003

worst post ever
posted by leaveok at 9:50 PM on June 29, 2003

I, for one, welcome our sugary carbonated overlords.

(someone had to say it)

Metafilter: Someone had to say it

Metafilter: Someone had to say it (someone had to say it)

and so forth.
posted by LimePi at 9:53 PM on June 29, 2003

LiveWire isn't bad, but is *way* too sickly-syrupy-sweet.

If they come out with a DIET version, I'm all for it. Diet Code Red is great.
posted by mrbill at 10:39 PM on June 29, 2003

SodaFilter, pshah. You folks wouldn't need all those weak attempts at colorfol fireworks in a can if you only drank from better bottles. That's right, hydration has never been so happy.... and, like the Good Book says, why put new wine in old bottles? They'll just break and the stuff will spill out. Nope, put your refreshing beverages in a new Nalgene Bottle, and both are preserved.

So can I get some cash too? Please
posted by weston at 10:55 PM on June 29, 2003

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