A new killer app

March 24, 2005 8:33 PM

Inspired by Abe Vigoda: The Terri Shiavo mortality-status Firefox plugin.
posted by docgonzo (62 comments total)

Appalling. Funny.
posted by Kwantsar at 8:45 PM on March 24, 2005

I can't be positive, but I have a funny feeling that this might be another one of those "feeding-tube" posts.
posted by soyjoy at 8:46 PM on March 24, 2005

I would just like to show some bipartisan support for this plugin. But then again, I have a sick sense of humor.
posted by sbutler at 8:48 PM on March 24, 2005

Shame on you!

It is an extension, not a plugin. There's a difference.
posted by nmiell at 8:50 PM on March 24, 2005

I don't consider myself easily offended, but this is very tasteless.
She might be a vegetable, but she's still a human being. No need to scrape away the last shred of dignity that's left.
posted by sour cream at 8:55 PM on March 24, 2005

sure there is!
posted by quonsar at 8:55 PM on March 24, 2005

Is not.
posted by sour cream at 8:58 PM on March 24, 2005

it's a delightful sign of our collective wisdom that this society handles such complex situations in such simple (read: stupid) ways.
posted by moonbird at 9:03 PM on March 24, 2005

Won't work for me; what does it say?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:11 PM on March 24, 2005 [1 favorite]

Why not just have her EEG displayed as a ticker at the bottom of the screen?
posted by c13 at 9:12 PM on March 24, 2005

If the post wasn't lame enough, couldn't it at least have "Schiavo" spelled correctly?

It's the 24 hour Schiavo channel! All Schiavo - All the time! Because you know there just isn't enough Schiavo in your life!

"A post without Schiavo is like a day without sunshine."
posted by spock at 9:20 PM on March 24, 2005

ThePinkSuperhero: it just says 'alive'.
posted by Pigpen at 9:23 PM on March 24, 2005

At first I thought: "Awww, hell. That's just bad."

Then I thought: "It sorta does provide a service to those who have been wrapped up in this story for the past few weeks. Is it that much worse than the looping, continuous coverage on CNN (and others) featuring the same six photos of Terri interspersed with shots of protesters in various locations?"

Then I thought: "Hey the basketball game is back on."
posted by 27 at 9:24 PM on March 24, 2005

And then I thought, does anyone know where you can download some compassion?
posted by j.p. Hung at 9:29 PM on March 24, 2005

I think there's a Firefox extension for that. You can't download compassion, but you can get a blast of it every few minutes via XML feed.
posted by 27 at 9:35 PM on March 24, 2005

ThePinkSuperhero: it just says 'alive'.

It should go from there to "RIP". The End. Move along.
posted by schyler523 at 9:45 PM on March 24, 2005

Hmmm, that's funny. I just get redirected to this page. And, boy, is she ever getting one!
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 10:05 PM on March 24, 2005

"A new killer app"? Holy shit! The Abe Vigoda one was funnier and cooler. This one is demented.
posted by mokey at 10:15 PM on March 24, 2005

Classy.
posted by Kimberly at 11:01 PM on March 24, 2005

The worst part was when I hovered my mouse over c13's post, ready to click on a link.
posted by Dean Keaton at 11:10 PM on March 24, 2005

I was going to open a question in AskMe about bathing in sewage, but this saves me from using it up. Thanks, docgonzo!
posted by AlexReynolds at 11:11 PM on March 24, 2005

it's over. can we move on now?

please?!

as much as I like sewage.
posted by blacklite at 11:55 PM on March 24, 2005

Ugh, I can't wait until this is all over. I can't imagine the agony of having such intensely personal, family business played out on the national stage like this. How truly awful.
posted by deafmute at 12:10 AM on March 25, 2005

You know there are Schiavo betting pools based on what day she's going to die, right?
posted by pemdasi at 1:51 AM on March 25, 2005

You know there are Schiavo betting pools based on what day she's going to die, right?

$100 says there will be a FPP when she does.
posted by AlexReynolds at 1:59 AM on March 25, 2005

does anyone know where you can download some compassion?

Tom DeLay's website
posted by matteo at 2:07 AM on March 25, 2005

Can someone write the same plugin for the pope ?
posted by Baud at 2:30 AM on March 25, 2005

I'll grant that there are a number of people involved in this that deserve nothing from us, however Terri Schiavo is not one of them. This type of activity is actually a step BELOW that of the politicians, they could at least attempt (incorrectly!) to make a case for being involved, we've no right at all.

I agree with those that feel it is time to move along, this never should have been our business in the first place.

Off my soapbox, blast away!
posted by HuronBob at 3:10 AM on March 25, 2005

You know there are Schiavo betting pools based on what day she's going to die, right?

I saw this pool on whether the tube would be reinserted.
posted by pruner at 4:13 AM on March 25, 2005

I have decided not to reinsert this plug in/extension
posted by obeygiant at 5:35 AM on March 25, 2005

What sort of guarantee is there that the status will be updated in a timely fashion?

I just don't want to be the last to know.

I would post this to free republic, but those bastards revoked my posting privileges after I was trolling there this morning when I was bored.
posted by beth at 6:29 AM on March 25, 2005

I've tried to stay out of this whole Schiavo thing, but now that the controversy is more or less over, this is just kind of cruel, and I never found cruelty to be that mondo jovial, sorry.
posted by jonmc at 6:44 AM on March 25, 2005

It's so sad that some folks, feeling defeated time and again by the idea that this woman should die with dignity, are only conceding the former and still perfectly willing to fight against the latter. Shame.
posted by mkultra at 6:50 AM on March 25, 2005

I guess I don't quite see how this extension robs Schiavo of her dignity.
posted by beth at 7:03 AM on March 25, 2005

By turning her death into cute little internet in-joke.
posted by jonmc at 7:04 AM on March 25, 2005

I don't see it that way. I see it as a way to keep abreast of breaking news.
posted by beth at 7:11 AM on March 25, 2005

Is Dick Cheney still alive?

I could just look out my window and see if the fires of Mt. Doom are still burning, but I haven't had my coffee yet and am therefore too lazy.
posted by terrapin at 7:13 AM on March 25, 2005

This extension is unnecessary.
All I need do is go about my business, and whatever happens in the Shiavo case will come screaming at me from all sides.
posted by cows of industry at 7:13 AM on March 25, 2005

I would like a forecastfox-esque extension to track when tastelessly uncreative extensions are available for download.

Metavigoda
posted by tpl1212 at 7:16 AM on March 25, 2005

So, who is this Schiavo person? Is she stuck in a well?
posted by fungible at 7:43 AM on March 25, 2005

I don't see it that way. I see it as a way to keep abreast of breaking news.

Still bored, eh, beth?
posted by soyjoy at 7:50 AM on March 25, 2005

Were you meaning to suggest that you felt my comments were mere trollery?

In truth, I don't get how this could be offensive, especially compared to the way she is being used by certain politicians right now. Their behavior is dignity-stripping, imho.

This thingamabob just says whether she is alive or dead. It's a mere status indicator. It doesn't belittle her, deny her her rights, or yank out her feeding tube.
posted by beth at 8:00 AM on March 25, 2005

This thingamabob just says whether she is alive or dead. It's a mere status indicator. It doesn't belittle her, deny her her rights, or yank out her feeding tube.

No, but it encourages rubbernecking on a massive scale, further turning what ought to be an intensely personal time (both good and ill) between her and her family into a circus.

Tell me- what exactly are you planning to do, the very moment she dies?
posted by mkultra at 8:19 AM on March 25, 2005

Damn, remember when people just used to get stuck down wells? No controversy there, man. What we need right now is good old fashioned well sticking right now, to bring the country together again.

mkultra

I'm gonna hurry up and take a pee before the next media bukakke non-story rolls onto CNN, I ain't left the couch since Palm Sunday and my back teeth are floating.

If the Pope can just cling to life for like, 4 minutes I might be able to heat up a chimchanga too.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:22 AM on March 25, 2005

ChimIchanga, dammit.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:24 AM on March 25, 2005

what exactly are you planning to do, the very moment she dies?
posted by mkultra at 8:19 AM PST on March 25

I suspect a lot of people are going to smile and smugly think to themselves "we won."
posted by dios at 8:28 AM on March 25, 2005

Tell me- what exactly are you planning to do, the very moment she dies?

You really want to know? I will exhale, wish her peace, and watch what happens in the news. I think this case has some serious implications and I am curious as to how things will shake out.

Sorry to disappoint you, dios.
posted by beth at 8:32 AM on March 25, 2005

'Cause I'm hungry for those good things, baby
Hungry through and through
Well I'm hungry for that sweet life, baby
Witth a real fine girl like you

I can almost taste it now
Oh, it's sweet as wine
Ain't gonna waste it now
When it's finally mine
posted by quonsar at 8:37 AM on March 25, 2005

This is in poor taste but some people have poor taste unfortunately. It doesn't strip anybody of their dignity and it doesn't degrade"the sanctity of human life" or cheapen Terry's life. The proper response is just to ignore it. People like to latch on to stupid little things like this and complain and moan loudly and dramatically. I suppose that's easier than dealing with the big issues and trying to solve them. But ultimately this is just silly, tasteless, and not interesting in the slightest. (Which kind of makes me wonder why it's here. Bad MeFi.)
posted by nixerman at 8:39 AM on March 25, 2005

I suspect a lot of people are going to smile and smugly think to themselves "we won."

That's what I suspected you would suspect.
posted by ludwig_van at 8:42 AM on March 25, 2005

That's what I suspected you would suspect.
posted by ludwig_van at 8:42 AM PST on March 25
Oooh. Burn! Good one. Recursive humor is teh funniest. Watch me do it too!

That's what I suspected you suspect me of suspecting!

ROFLCOPTER!

(Maybe we can next do the one where someone says "I say we have a moratorium/ban on the use of moratoriums/bans." Woot!)
posted by dios at 8:46 AM on March 25, 2005

Whatever dignity there was was taken away ages ago--by Randall Terry, the Bushes, Tom DeLay, "Doctor" Frist, etc.

I'm betting an Easter Sunday two-fer--Terri and the Pope.
posted by amberglow at 8:47 AM on March 25, 2005

Whatever dignity there was was taken away ages ago--by Randall Terry, the Bushes, Tom DeLay, "Doctor" Frist, etc.

I don't disagree, but I see no compelling reason to join in.
posted by jonmc at 9:00 AM on March 25, 2005

I suspect a lot of people are going to smile and smugly think to themselves "we won."

Yeah, I've got a bottle of Veuve Clicquot on ice for this very occasion, you fucking tool.
posted by AlexReynolds at 9:16 AM on March 25, 2005

Haha, AlexReynolds has me beat. What a Dairy Queen!

(omgz j/k)
posted by ludwig_van at 9:20 AM on March 25, 2005

Really, this is no worse than the circus that's already around this issue. In fact, I see this as lampooning it. Like, if the continual news coverage isn't enough, then here's a browser utility with minute-by-minute updates...

So far we've seen politicians trying to capitalize, endless news loops, protesters (none of whom could possibly have any insight into her wishes) standing outside of all kinds of places, and appeals to every court except Night Court.

But this is over the top? It's an indictment of everybody who's all over this thing, from my POV.

I suspect a lot of people are going to smile and smugly think to themselves "we won."

Yeah, when people in vegetative states die, people win. You're clouded, dood.

Personally, I'll be relieved that the politicians who tried to hijack this and the religious-folk who want to make these calls for everybody didn't win.
posted by 27 at 11:04 AM on March 25, 2005

Dios:I suspect a lot of people are going to smile and smugly think to themselves "we won."


Do you mean because Terri's soul will be allowed to move on to whatever afterlife there may be, rather than being held in the mindless state she's been in for 15 years?

It's been very disturbing to see people who ostensibly believe in an afterlife try to deny it to Terri because they mindlessly follow asshats like Randall Terry, Tom DeLay, George Bush, and Rush Limbaugh.
posted by Malenfant at 11:08 AM on March 25, 2005

Please don't feed the troll.
posted by mkultra at 11:43 AM on March 25, 2005

Horrible. Offensive. Utterly immoral. I must have it.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 11:51 AM on March 25, 2005

Please don't feed the troll.

Which one?
posted by Krrrlson at 12:18 PM on March 25, 2005

I suspect a lot of people are going to smile and smugly think to themselves "we won."


Not everyone is as mean-spirited and soulless as you, dios.
posted by amberglow at 12:30 PM on March 25, 2005

Jon Stewart's take: Culture of Strife (QT)

(don't miss the Chris Matthews takedown)
posted by amberglow at 3:28 PM on March 25, 2005