make your mother sigh

January 15, 2006 6:52 PM

Hooked on a Feeling? Enter the Hasselhoff.
posted by The Jesse Helms (31 comments total)

jajajjajajaja!
posted by carsonb at 7:04 PM on January 15, 2006

I coulda sworn this was 2006. Anything else you want to get off your chest?
posted by furtive at 7:04 PM on January 15, 2006

That Hasselhoff bit was stupid but the 'Seven Pound Dildo' that was just below = Gold.
posted by Mr T at 7:10 PM on January 15, 2006

Please, you do not mix medicines, you finish seeing the consequences.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:10 PM on January 15, 2006

In what territory is something like this deemed acceptable or entertaining? Or is this pure viral goodness?
posted by fire&wings at 7:13 PM on January 15, 2006

Madre de dios! David Hasselhoff el Bertin Osborne de USA! terrible uso de BlueScreening para fines horterazos.
posted by LarryC at 7:14 PM on January 15, 2006

Oh, man, have you seen that crazy dancing baby?!?
posted by MrMoonPie at 7:16 PM on January 15, 2006

I mean, double post.
posted by MrMoonPie at 7:17 PM on January 15, 2006

On the other hand, prepare to lose your mind.
posted by MrMoonPie at 7:18 PM on January 15, 2006

Well, I've never seen it before - and hope I never see it again.
posted by bashos_frog at 7:18 PM on January 15, 2006

That made me so happy.
posted by brownpau at 7:20 PM on January 15, 2006

Please, you do not mix medicines

Overexposure to Hasselhoff has rendered it ineffective. We *needed* the strong medicine that only a seven pound dildo can provide.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:21 PM on January 15, 2006

I kiss you!
posted by davebush at 7:30 PM on January 15, 2006

I wonder if there's any photos of him lounging around naked with that little weiner dog... not, you know, that I still have a fixation on Michael Knight or anything.
posted by Miss Bitchy Pants at 7:30 PM on January 15, 2006

He must be richer than Croessus and yet the production values are so poor! Priceless.
posted by longsleeves at 7:34 PM on January 15, 2006

Actually, my mother is a Barry Manilow loyalist.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 7:42 PM on January 15, 2006

Surf's up!
posted by furtive at 7:57 PM on January 15, 2006

I hope someone posts AYBABTU, next.
posted by shmegegge at 8:04 PM on January 15, 2006

The Hoff and the Shatner ought to room together.
posted by CynicalKnight at 8:26 PM on January 15, 2006

This isn't the first and won't be the last. Youtube and Google Video, et al. are going to make us relive the past decade of video memes. Can't hardly wait.
posted by shoepal at 8:29 PM on January 15, 2006

Well, that was particularly good.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 8:31 PM on January 15, 2006

My eyes! My beautiful eyes! That is the cheesiest crap I've seen in years. Yet, still, I'd hit it. And I'd like to meet his plastic surgeon.
posted by theperfectcrime at 8:37 PM on January 15, 2006

I made it as far as the glacier for a total of 718 points. Anyone beat that?
posted by Oddly at 9:11 PM on January 15, 2006

I'm sorry I don't think we've recovered yet from Total Crap III

Hoff is just banal.
posted by marvin at 9:56 PM on January 15, 2006

I coulda sworn this was 2006

Unfortunately, The Hoff will never die.
posted by cwhitfcd at 10:23 PM on January 15, 2006

Also, there's always Unicorns L.A. , if for some reason you'd like to sully your eyes further before you rush off to use the mind-rubbers...
posted by Jon Mitchell at 10:33 PM on January 15, 2006

I made it past the glacier, but it was at the glacier that I realized just how bad this video was: all this singin' about how this girl makes him feel, yet he's all alone in the video. No sign of the idée fixe anywhere. And like Miss Bitchy Pants, I realized that it would have been cheaper and more to the point just to have him lying around naked with a soundtrack. Pretty man, isn't he? (My wife once stalked him around Lenox Mall in Atlanta, back when we were all young.)
posted by ancientgower at 7:00 AM on January 16, 2006

Wait--how did I miss Total Crap III? That was awesome!
posted by ancientgower at 7:05 AM on January 16, 2006

amazing! - i loved it.
posted by tsorgie at 8:30 AM on January 16, 2006

ancientgower: That's because you are the girl intended by the video director.

BTW: I recommend that everyone go out and rent Tapeheads, a nice parody of the music video industry that explains how this gets made.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 9:28 AM on January 16, 2006

Why are there websites for facts about Chuck Norris, and not for either Hassle or Hoff? Inquiring minds want to know.
posted by blue_beetle at 10:09 AM on January 16, 2006