OMFG THE END IS NIGH!
April 18, 2006 8:14 PM   Subscribe

In 1889, Dolores Cannon "channeled" the spirit of Nostradamus. Among other things... A leader in the Middle East will launch a nuke that will overshoot its target and detonate in the Mediterranean Sea. A great and rich power will be subject to serious natural disasters, particularly earthquakes and flooding. And the presidents of the U.S. will abuse their power to an increasingly greater extent. Educated guessing? No! Even The Onion staffs some prophets.
posted by Nquire (22 comments total)
 
1889?
posted by tula at 8:28 PM on April 18, 2006


When farce becomes prophetic, I weep.
posted by [expletive deleted] at 8:30 PM on April 18, 2006


Uh... 1989. Sorry.
posted by Nquire at 8:36 PM on April 18, 2006


Re: the last link, does anybody remember the three-bladed razor spoof from SNL? It aired not long after the two-bladed razor came out. The tagline: "The Three-bladed Razor: Because You'll Believe Anything."

How true, how true.
posted by brundlefly at 8:38 PM on April 18, 2006


the problem with Nostradamus is that he's vague, and once people use a verse for a specific interpretation, and then another dictator comes, or another disaster, etc, then which was it about? that one or the current one? her stuff about Bush (the father) is really more applicable to this Bush, but it's too late, no?
posted by amberglow at 8:42 PM on April 18, 2006


I have one of those 5-blade razors. It actually has 6 blades, five on one side and one on the edge for precision shaving. It's pretty funny.
posted by puke & cry at 9:05 PM on April 18, 2006 [1 favorite]


The Gillette article is much better if you imagine the executive snorting lines of coke between paragraphs.
posted by Grimgrin at 9:11 PM on April 18, 2006


Let's just see here. A random series of links to recent and past news events. From a Wiki on Hurricane Katrina, to a CNN article on Iran, to an Onion spoof of razor blade design.

What am I missing here? What is the purpose of this post? Why is it on the front page?
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 9:12 PM on April 18, 2006


Personally, I'm holding out for the 17-blade razor.
posted by andshewas at 9:17 PM on April 18, 2006


Indeed, why is this here? If MeFi turns into a posting board for 'channelers' or people who believe in them, then we are doomed.

Nostradamus and his ilk are like Rorschach blots - if you want to see something telling you the end is nigh, you'll find it; if you want to find something that's based on scientific and/or principles of logical evidence, you wouldn't use a Roschach blot, would you?
posted by rmm at 9:40 PM on April 18, 2006


Nostradamus and his ilk are like Rorschach blots - if you want to see something telling you the end is nigh, you'll find it;

Nostradamus predicted you would say that.
posted by Ynoxas at 10:21 PM on April 18, 2006


I wrote my high school term paper on Nostradamus. I got a C. One of the first remarks my teacher made in her comments was "Who is Nostradamus?"

This is when I gave up on the educational system.
posted by odinsdream at 10:29 PM on April 18, 2006


On a more serious note, the 5th link regards Israel's response to Monday's suicide bombing. Israel said Monday that a new “axis of terror” — Iran, Syria and the Hamas-run Palestinian government — is sowing the seeds of the first world war of the 21st century... Recent statements by the Palestinian government, Iran and Syria, including one by Hamas on Monday defending the suicide bombing, “are clear declarations of war, and I urge each and every one of you to listen carefully and take them at face value,” said Israel’s U.N. Ambassador Dan Gillerman.

Meanwhile, not only is Iran, a known financial supporter of Hamas, not backing down from international pressure to stop enriching uranium, but from the 4th link, is devising methods of increasing the rate of uranium enrichment. P-2 centrifuges, with their superstrong rotors, enrich uranium faster, and could help Iranian scientists construct a nuclear weapon much sooner than the P-1 centrifuges they have shown to international inspectors.

Most likely political posturing from Israel, but the recent developments in Iran may increase time pressure in some circles for a preemptive strike. After all, if Israel's UN Ambassador thinks that WWIII is immenent, why not? The "end of the world" theme sort of evolved from there. And razors with five blades are a sign of the apocaplypse.
posted by Nquire at 10:30 PM on April 18, 2006


Nostradamus was insane. The new Gillette Fusion Power razor is the most revolutionary razor ever invented. Next.
posted by slatternus at 10:32 PM on April 18, 2006


"One of the first remarks my teacher made in her comments was "Who is Nostradamus?" This is when I gave up on the educational system"

Yeah, because we need teachers who are more knowledgeable with a French occultists than with Thomas Jefferson.
posted by insomnia_lj at 10:56 PM on April 18, 2006


Exactly. His followup paper "John Edwards: Man of Mystery" got him an F! No one in school wanted to trade anything for his James Van Pragh pog!

I hope he stayed true to himself and dropped out. Those know-nothing teachers have nothing for him.
posted by skallas at 11:13 PM on April 18, 2006


You say Nostradamas, I say Nostradumbass.
posted by Floydd at 6:12 AM on April 19, 2006


Nostradamas doesn't scare me nearly as much as the people who take him seriously.
posted by chibikeandy at 8:02 AM on April 19, 2006


Nostradamus had a long scraggly beard, because without Gillette Fusion Power he knew he could never enjoy the satisfying close shave we take for granted.
posted by CynicalKnight at 10:05 AM on April 19, 2006


Nostradamus and his beard are two separate unrelated issues. Nostradamus wrote important prophecies, many of which came true. His beard did not. Please remember that.
posted by storybored at 10:30 AM on April 19, 2006


That Onion article on Bush was funny/over-the-top at the time. Now it's just scarily prescient. Nothing has failed to come true, except for the tax increases. Two more years left, though.
posted by breath at 3:19 PM on April 19, 2006


I think you miss my point. The comments were written at the end of my paper, wherein I had definitely explained who Nostradamus was.
posted by odinsdream at 8:11 PM on April 19, 2006


« Older Come on, monsters! You don't have to cry! We can...   |   In the club, and on the street, I keep bangin' the... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments