The western base for the coming chaos
September 3, 2007 3:46 PM   Subscribe

Denver International Airport is one of the strangest places in the US. Built in the middle of nowhere and hosting some of the longest runways in the world, DIA has attracted attention not only for it's bizarre layout but for the artwork and masonic tie-ins. The place has been getting some attention again locally.
posted by shockingbluamp (65 comments total) 19 users marked this as a favorite
 
Strange indeed! A certain righty blog lizard is alleged to live under DEN.
posted by rockhopper at 3:51 PM on September 3, 2007


Yeah I saw your first link a few weeks ago and was utterly intrigued. Thanks for posting this. However, Anomalies Unltd. is a bit of a tinfoil hat site, isn't it?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:03 PM on September 3, 2007


Actually there was another navajo secret code, not decrypted so far that was found behind one of these murals and photographed before the painting, the text is as follows:
Ma poi penso a Berlusconi
e mi si sgonfiano i coglioni.
Mi si sgonfiano le palle
non so piu' dove cercarle.
Quando penso a quel biscione
mi si abbassa la pressione.
L'apparato genitale
c'ha un collasso verticale
Quando penso a Berlusconi
il testicolo s'ammoscia
tutto il corpo mi s'affloscia
ogni cosa mi va giù
e non si rizza più.
Non mi si rizza più.

posted by elpapacito at 4:03 PM on September 3, 2007 [2 favorites]


"Other contacts who have been underground at the Denver Airport claim that there are large numbers of human slaves, many of them children, working there under the control of the reptilians."
posted by disclaimer at 4:11 PM on September 3, 2007 [1 favorite]


Oka tensin one ?
posted by elpapacito at 4:15 PM on September 3, 2007 [2 favorites]




Well, that's all very interesting, but can a man tap his feet in peace in the restrooms?
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:26 PM on September 3, 2007 [5 favorites]


The world would be so much more exciting if there really were Masonic lizard-men herding child slaves in the endless unlit corridors beneath Denver International Airport.

In fact, I think I'll choose to believe that, just to make things more interesting.

Psssst. Masonic lizard men herd child slaves beneath Denver International Airport. Pass it on.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 4:27 PM on September 3, 2007 [3 favorites]


Denver International Airport is one of the strangest places in the US.

I have no idea how these people got their airplanes wedged into this airport, or why.
posted by The Bellman at 4:27 PM on September 3, 2007 [5 favorites]


What, no 'batshitinsane' tag?
posted by twsf at 4:31 PM on September 3, 2007


On reading just how big the damn thing was, I had to do the size comparison and note some of the conspiratorial connections.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 4:45 PM on September 3, 2007 [5 favorites]


I think it's interesting that these stories refer to it as "DIA" when the actual airport code is "DEN." "DIA" sounds much more conspiratorial.
posted by scottreynen at 4:50 PM on September 3, 2007


OOhh... Artwork conspiracies.

If you are looking for things to get paranoid about, try the giant FEMA detention facility in the basement of DIA.
posted by Balisong at 4:51 PM on September 3, 2007


Yes, DEN is a much more sensible abbreviation for Denver International Airport than DIA could ever be.
posted by Malor at 4:53 PM on September 3, 2007


Bat Boy won't stand for this.
posted by stavrogin at 4:54 PM on September 3, 2007 [1 favorite]


Ok, I'll bite and address some of these "points" seriously: I have a hard time believing that with all the construction problems plaguing this airport that these "conspiracy" theories have any foothold. This was a place so poorly, frequently, and politically re-designed it didn't have a proper baggage system for years, sub-par concrete was used on the tarmacs, anyone who has ever had to change terminals there and go through security pre 9/11 knew it as hell, and the entire construction project was an area joke. (It was supposed to be "storm-resistant" but has done nothing except close during huge storms.) A great book about its construction problems is Lessons Learned.

The construction of the "teepees" as some people call them was not a new construction style (see Crossroads Mall of Omaha, built in the late '80s). Fentress Architects called the entire thing "sustainable design" with an interest towards earth friendly architecture. The majority of the rock is the Coloradoan state rock Yule Marble. Out of curiosity I googled DIA granite and found nothing except what was relentlessly cut and pasted on conspiracy websites, if anybody has more info I'd like to know.

It makes sense to me that if I'm building an airport I have tarmacs going N-S-E-W, but I'm not an airport designer. As for the middle of nowhere - anyone watching the population explosion of the Denver area could understand why they would want a major international airport away from the suburbia of Denver, with room both for the city and the airport to expand. Zoned agriculture land is also much cheaper than zoned residential.

Finally, I have a hard time believing that the "faithful" Masons would place Coloradoan fossils in the floors.

Oh, and as to overcosts, the murals, and beautiful "green" architecture: anyone who has spent time in Colorado would get this immediately. You're talking the state of Vail, Aspen, etc. The entire project seems designed to show off Colorado, not lend itself to conspiracy.

/end bite, points and laughs
posted by barchan at 4:57 PM on September 3, 2007 [1 favorite]


In fact, I think I'll choose to believe that, just to make things more interesting.

Aw hell, you're not slightly-Aspbergerish bug-eyed shut-in I work with on the night shift, are you?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 5:00 PM on September 3, 2007


The entire project seems designed to show off Colorado, not lend itself to conspiracy.

It's clearly, then, a conspiracy to show off Colorado.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:01 PM on September 3, 2007


Last time I was at DIA, I made a point to check out the murals. I have to admit that, given the setting, they're damn weird. But a lot of public art is damn weird. I guess the tin foil hat crowd hasn't gotten that memo yet.

Now, if the airport could only do something about it always taking so long for my luggage to show up... sacrifice some more slave children to Samsonixchel or something.
posted by jal0021 at 5:01 PM on September 3, 2007


Going through security at DIA just after 9/11 there was a display case of things you weren't allowed to take on a plane anymore that you passed while waiting in line. One of them was a chainsaw.

That's what I think about when I think about DIA.
posted by Cyrano at 5:07 PM on September 3, 2007 [3 favorites]


Cyrano, that actually makes sense as a lot of hunters go through there and take their various forms of bone saws with them.
posted by barchan at 5:28 PM on September 3, 2007


My inlaws live five miles from that airport. I noticed no lizardmen but I did see quite a bit of deer in their back lot.

And the shuttle tram reminds me of Dr Who. As in when he's traveling in the Tardis. All it needs is the music to go with.
posted by konolia at 5:30 PM on September 3, 2007


It has been well-documented that the runways at DIA are arranged in patterns which are only visible from the air.
posted by washburn at 5:34 PM on September 3, 2007 [6 favorites]


You want weird public murals? Los Angeles has you covered.

I mean ... DUDE.

DUDE!

DUDE, WTF?

OK, now you're just screwing with me, dude...
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:37 PM on September 3, 2007 [4 favorites]


Oh, and if you're not familiar with L.A., these murals appear along the side of some of the busiest freeways in the city, so they are therefore some of the most visible sights in all of L.A.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:38 PM on September 3, 2007


The airport is in the middle of nowhere? gosh. But why not have built the airport on the east coast or the west coast rather than in Colorado, which is also in the middle of nowhere.
posted by Postroad at 5:39 PM on September 3, 2007 [1 favorite]


We've done this DIA thing here in the blue before, and I'm too lazy to find it. As far as referring to it as DIA, that's what everyone out here calls it.

There is some cool art. I like the propellers in the train tunnel that spin as the train goes past. And I'm particularly partial to the grotesque coming out of the suitcase. There was a lot of effort put into getting lots of art in there.

The same complaints about it being out in the middle of nowhere, and being too far from downtown Denver were the same arguments made about Stapleton airport, which was totally enveloped by suburbia, and is actually being developed into housing etc. There's lots of development going up around DIA now.

Seems to me most of the stone flooring is granite, and that's what Fentress describes it as.

There's enough crackpot stupidity around that we really don't need any for something as mundane as an airport.
posted by Eekacat at 5:43 PM on September 3, 2007 [1 favorite]


DIA (Delayed Indefinitely Airport, I mean, Denver International Airport) as opposed to Stapleton, the old airport. A similar confusion point is in Kansas City, where the airport is universally called KCI -- Kansas City International, and the airport code is MCI/KMCI

DIA has DEN as an airport code to make sure than people who bought tickets to Denver got to Denver. Before the cutover, DIA was DVX/KDVX.

DIA was never meant to be a never close airport -- that's impossible anywhere. On the front range, the plains mean blowing snow will shut you down fast. DIA was built to solve Stapleton's two big problems -- runways too close together, which meant any weather would seriously limit arrivals, and no room for expansion. Stapleton needed four N/S runways most of the time, but the three that it had were packed so close together that they couldn't be used well. DIA's are far enough apart that the airport can land three independent streams -- which could actually handle closer to 160 landings an hour, but you do need room for departures. So, DIA can handle 120 arrivals an hour in any weather that allows landing N/S and 80 in the rare days that E/W operations are forced.

Really, the only times DIA delays are when a runway just can't be used. Other than major snow events -- which shut down *anything* -- the only time a major delay has happened at DIA was when weather forced E/W operations while one of the two E/W runways was under repair. Worse, the winds were strong enough that departures had to use that same runway, so arrivals dropped to 25/hr, and a buddy of mine spent an extra day in Boston.

Now, I fucking *hate* the terminal. Security sucks, the trains suck, the ramp sucks, the ten mile drive from the border to the terminal sucks. But flying to or through DIA means that you'll probably get there on time. Stapleton made ORD and ATL look timely.
posted by eriko at 5:50 PM on September 3, 2007 [2 favorites]


However, Anomalies Unltd. is a bit of a tinfoil hat site, isn't it?

I'd say so. Get this, from the analysis of the murals. (I added the hyperlink.)

"It turned out that some of these are 'trigger' pictures, containing symbology designed to trigger altered personalities of people that have been groomed in MKULTRA type programs for specific tasks that they have been trained to do in terms of something connected with Satanic rituals and mind control. I had one woman that called me out of the blue one night, and she was really disturbed about some information. She told me many different things that later turned out to be known MKULTRA triggers. Also, almost every aspect of these murals contains symbols relating back to secret societies. When you get the overall view of what they are talking about in these things, it is very very scary. It goes back to the Biodiversity Treaty, getting rid of specific races of people, taking over the world and mind control."
posted by jayder at 6:00 PM on September 3, 2007


I am a member of a Masonic Lodge in Colorado and I like my share of conspiracies, but this is one of the stupidest bunches of crap you will read anywhere. The Grand Lodge of Colorado offered to lay the cornerstone of the airport. They lay cornerstones at most of the major public buildings in the state. The mayor of Denver at the time, Wellington Webb, is a Prince Hall Mason. Since airports don't really have "cornerstones" they laid a capstone. That's pretty much the only Masonic involvement with DIA. If anything, it's remarkable because the capstone was a joint ceremony of the Prince Hall Grand Lodge and AF & AM Grand Lodge.
posted by mattbucher at 6:01 PM on September 3, 2007


Heh, I don't care if Lizards are running the air control tower. When I was in the midwest I'd spend several hundreds of dollars more to avoid having to go through O'hare and ended up going through DEN on my way back to the West coast.

I hate hate hate O'hare (or maybe the lizards' mind-field rays got me and made me want to visit DEN... oooh, the Lizard's DEN...)
posted by porpoise at 6:04 PM on September 3, 2007


You would say that, wouldn't you?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 6:04 PM on September 3, 2007


Underground bases (dead links abound) on MetaFilter. One year ago.
posted by ColdChef at 6:06 PM on September 3, 2007


This airport is used in software engineering courses as an example of bad management -- they apparently designed an elaborate underground (?) baggage transportation system, and the software delayed it for a few years (and several million dollars, if I remember correctly).
posted by spiderskull at 6:06 PM on September 3, 2007


masons aside, i think it's a gorgeous structure- reminiscent of the view of the mountains out of the huge windows. plus it's white, so it seems to change colors due to different weather or time of day- absolutely stunning!
posted by genmonster at 6:11 PM on September 3, 2007


The baggage system jammed because of skis, iirc.
posted by hortense at 6:17 PM on September 3, 2007


mattbucher, so have you heard of the New World Airport Commission? (Or have any comment on any of the stuff they say about the capstone on the first link?)
posted by salvia at 6:25 PM on September 3, 2007


Denver International Airport terminal:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:DEN-JEP_TERMINAL.JPG

Logans Run dome city:
http://www.transparencynow.com/Logan/logpics1.htm

I'm off to the New You.
posted by hodyoaten at 6:28 PM on September 3, 2007


Since MeFi doesn't automatically make the links, I'll try again:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:DEN-JEP_TERMINAL.JPG
http://www.transparencynow.com/Logan/logpics1.htm
posted by hodyoaten at 6:29 PM on September 3, 2007


My friend had to take a business trip to Denver and was returning home the day the Broncos were playing in the Super Bowl. He almost missed his flight because for the entire day, the airport stopped displaying the flight departures and arrivals on all the gigantic digital screens in the main terminal and instead replaced them with animated "Go Broncos!" signs.

I don't know anything about secret conspiracies, but I'm pretty sure the airport is run entirely by crazy people.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 6:36 PM on September 3, 2007


From the 3rd link: Former BBC media personality David Icke, for example, has written twenty books in his quest to prove that the world is controlled by an elite group of reptilian aliens known as the Babylonian Brotherhood, whose ranks include George W. Bush, Queen Elizabeth II, the Jews and Kris Kristofferson.

The Jews and Kris Kristofferson?
posted by probablysteve at 6:44 PM on September 3, 2007


I can't figure out why these conspiracy nut cases thing that The Conspiracy would hide all their plans in plain site like this? I assume The Conspiracy has heard of encrypted email by now?
posted by empath at 6:56 PM on September 3, 2007


Eriko: Really, the only times DIA delays are when a runway just can't be used.

I was too general before when I said it got closed for storms a lot, sorry. But I think I must have the worst luck at flying there during these times of "delay." I've spent too many nights there and at their stupid airport hotels way out in B.F.E. That's where the conspiracy is: airport hotel management.
posted by barchan at 7:05 PM on September 3, 2007


whose ranks include...Kris Kristofferson.

'Cause the truth remains that no one wants to know.
posted by salvia at 7:06 PM on September 3, 2007


muahahaha... True story... back in the early 90's my roommate was E.E.C. the III (of America's Sleeping Prophet fame). One summer we went on a road trip where I met E.E.C the II. The II'nd was working on this rollercoaster like contraption designed to move luggage. That's right, the evil DEN luggage system is spookey. :)
posted by zengargoyle at 7:10 PM on September 3, 2007


I love this stuff.
posted by Anduruna at 7:15 PM on September 3, 2007


Football is god on the lips of Westerners, XQUZYPHYR. Part of why I left. I'm pretty sure that the Challenger explosion got bumped for Monday Night Football recaps.

DIA was my first exposure to public-funded art for its own sake, and I think they did quite an excellent job of that. Some of it was weird, but that fact alone made me glad it was such a budget-busting boondoggle; it's big, broad, well-maintained and handles tons more traffic than what it replaced. If I want efficiency in airport decor I'll snuggle up to the cold concrete claustrophobia of Dulles.

I still prefer flying through there compared to:
  • DFW

  • San Jose

  • O'Hare, Mdiway, really anyplace Chiagoey

  • Newark. *shudder*

  • JFK

  • Dulles

  • Las Vegas


  • I've never had a bad train experience (suck it, Veags), usually had pretty good on-time-arrival/departure (suck it for 19 hours Dulles and 4 hours on the boiling tarmac, DFW) and my luggage seldom goes anywhere (eat me eternally, BWI).

    The confluence of metro-accessible convenience and congress-inspired sycophancy available at Washington National Airport (call it Reagan and I'll cut you) would make it my favorite if it weren't for the 20% bump in ticket cost and tendency to back up flights on holidays.

    /derail
    posted by abulafa at 7:17 PM on September 3, 2007


    Going through security at DIA just after 9/11 there was a display case of things you weren't allowed to take on a plane anymore that you passed while waiting in line. One of them was a chainsaw.

    They do that at several airports, including Atlanta. I assume that it is on purpose, because it provokes chuckles and conversation in the line.

    Drone #1: Ha! A chainsaw!

    Drone #2: Ha! Indeed!

    [time passes, nerve endings fire]

    Drone #1: Gee, Biff, look at the other otherwise reasonable things they have in that display case!

    Drone #2: Wow, Chad, you're right, they have aerosol cans in there. Maybe I should remove the aerosol can from my bag!

    Drone #1: Let's go do that right now!
    posted by intermod at 7:23 PM on September 3, 2007 [1 favorite]


    The "New World Airport Commission" was the unfortunate name of one of the (non-Masonic) volunteer groups that was founded to publicize the opening of the new airport (and coordinate the community involvement stuff). Colorado had a bad time naming stuff back then and "Denver World Airport" was considered as the name for a while and pretty much everyone called it "The New Airport" in Denver (this is the same state that originally named the Colorado Avalanche the Rocky Mountain Xtreme). Apparently it's also a Dvorak reference (New World Symphony).

    Also this thing about Masons calling their lodge rooms "The Great Hall" or whatever is pure shite. They are called Lodge Rooms. I think "The Great Hall" is in Grand Central Terminal, too.
    posted by mattbucher at 7:34 PM on September 3, 2007


    They are called Lodge Rooms

    My temple has two lodge rooms, we call one the "blue room" and the other the "red room", based on the colours of the drapes and carpet.

    This is a rare look inside the craft folks.....
    posted by Deep Dish at 9:14 PM on September 3, 2007


    deep dish, i hope you don't have your reptilian skin flayed and sauteed for revealilng such pristine secrets!
    posted by CitizenD at 9:31 PM on September 3, 2007


    As a Lizard man, and speaking unofficially on behalf of my species, I can categorically deny that we ever travel by way of the Denver airport.

    It's just not convenient enough for two legged cold blooded creatures. The high altitude fucks with us waaay too much.

    We generally prefer to land in Florida or L.A.

    And O'Hare, for reasons that you will never understand or comprehend.

    Bwahahaha.

    posted by quin at 10:30 PM on September 3, 2007


    Your lodge has a red room?

    I really hope it has dancing, backwards-talking dwarves.
    posted by rokusan at 10:31 PM on September 3, 2007 [1 favorite]


    I'm with jal0021. Someone needs to tell the reptilian overlords to beat the slave children harder, and stop losing my damn luggage.
    posted by Kadin2048 at 10:52 PM on September 3, 2007


    The Committee of 300? This is madness!

    THIS IS DENVER!
    posted by Joeforking at 2:44 AM on September 4, 2007


    The world would be so much more exciting if there really were Masonic lizard-men herding child slaves in the endless unlit corridors beneath Denver International Airport.

    "Denver, the last dinosaur, he's my friend and a whole lot more!"

    ^ Cartoon-borne Illuminatii mind-control messages
    posted by L.P. Hatecraft at 5:36 AM on September 4, 2007


    Icke: "Other contacts ..."

    Anomalies Unltd: "I had one woman that called me out of the blue one night, and she was really disturbed about some information."

    It's funny how the "reveal" in each of those "stories" comes courtesy of totally unnamed and unverified sources. They are clearly both totally barking mad. Content aside, look at the structure of the latter quote - it looks like transcribed speech, not writing. The syntax is crazy.

    These deep-end conspiracy theories are always funny, because they come with a major, inescapable contradiction in their thinking. See if you can tell what it is: "A vastly powerful secret conspiracy rules the world, and is plotting to take over the world."
    posted by WPW at 6:01 AM on September 4, 2007


    Denver International Airport is one of the strangest places in the US.

    Please. Y'all don't get out much? DIA isn't even one of the strangest places in Colorado.
    posted by fuse theorem at 6:53 AM on September 4, 2007


    mattbucher, so have you heard of the New World Airport Commission? (Or have any comment on any of the stuff they say about the capstone on the first link?)

    From the last link:
    No one has bothered to call Charles Ansbacher, now the conductor of the Boston Landmarks Orchestra, which gives free classical concerts at public landmarks around the Boston area. But as the co-chair of the now-defunct New World Airport Commission, which orchestrated DIA's opening festivities, Ansbacher would be a prime candidate for the conspiracists' Illuminati puppet master. Back in 1990, the longtime arts advocate was living in Denver and working as an aesthetic design-policy advisor for DIA when he decided to start a not-for-profit organization that would help promote the new airport to the people of Denver, and enlisted big-name corporate and civic names to serve on the board.

    Ansbacher can't quite remember how he came up with the name for the organization, but he guesses it might have come from Dvorák's New World Symphony. The New World Airport Commission name emphasized that DIA was the newest airport in the world, and the first new airport built in this country since Dallas/Fort Worth in 1973, he says; it did not symbolize that DIA was a monument to the New World Order. "The idea that there is anything secretive about this is totally preposterous," Ansbacher says.

    The group's main function was to plan both an air show and a public gala in 1993, which went on despite the fact that the airport was delayed. He was there the day the capstone, which is also a time capsule, was dedicated. The Masonic symbol was placed on the stone because it was provided by a local Masonic lodge. "One of the remaining things they do is provide time capsules," he points out.
    posted by pardonyou? at 7:35 AM on September 4, 2007


    My temple has two lodge rooms, we call one the "blue room" and the other the "red room", based on the colours of the drapes and carpet.

    But not "The Great Hall" or "The Great Blue Hall" or whatever. I know "Egyptian Rooms" and "Modern Rooms" etc but they are all Rooms and not Great Halls. Just a minor point.
    posted by mattbucher at 8:07 AM on September 4, 2007


    It's big, but it has shit-tons of moving walkways. And a Steak Escape.

    I can deal with lizard-men.
    posted by Industrial PhD at 10:56 AM on September 4, 2007


    And while we're talking about Freemasonry, don't forget the Shriners. See their logo, complete with a Sphinx face ("I have a secret!"), the Star-'N'-Crescent of Islam and the Sword of Jihad? Obviously Al Qaida is part of a world-wide Masonic conspiracy!
    posted by davy at 12:12 PM on September 4, 2007


    Yep, their treacherous plots to build children's hospitals are really just a candy coating over their truly evil intent: to do it while driving little cars and wearing fezzes.

    The bastards!
    posted by quin at 12:21 PM on September 4, 2007


    And it has a decent burrito joint, too!
    posted by drstein at 12:57 PM on September 4, 2007


    Breaking news:
    mattbucher admitted in a Mefi discussion group today that the Masons have infiltrated the government in Colorado. In fact, he suggested that Denver's mayor is no less than Great Mason Prince himself. He also suggested, mysteriously, that the Masons have been involved in the construction of every public building in the state.

    Furthermore, according to mattbucher, the combined efforts of the Prince Hall Grand Lodge, the AF Grand Lodge, and the AM Grand Lodge were somehow involved in the construction of the infamous and mysterious Denver New World Airport.

    "It is the business of the press to take comments out of context and make them public for the sake of controversy."
    -Jane Smiley

    It is also a useful tactic for advancing conspiracy theories.
    posted by eye of newt at 12:02 AM on September 5, 2007


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