Crackdollhouse? Dollcrackhouse?
December 7, 2007 2:56 PM   Subscribe

The Baltimore Block Real life in miniature.
posted by jacquilynne (19 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
gosh. aren't those poor people soooo darned *cute*.
posted by gnutron at 3:04 PM on December 7, 2007

That looks nothing like the Block.
posted by empath at 3:14 PM on December 7, 2007

Yeah, it really doesn't look like The Block at all. And the whorehouse is way, way too nice. She should be shacked up with the drug dealer.
posted by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on December 7, 2007

It seems she's been misinformed about the Block. But hey, fun project anyway.
posted by sidereal at 3:27 PM on December 7, 2007

though it does look like any other random neighborhood in baltimore, though :) There are crack houses and hookers all over the city.
posted by empath at 3:29 PM on December 7, 2007

It could definitely be a block in Baltimore. The architecture on the rowhouses is right.

It's not The Block.
posted by Faint of Butt at 3:31 PM on December 7, 2007

yeah, i think it was going to be about The Block too...
posted by geos at 3:38 PM on December 7, 2007

The crack house looks a little too clean, though I admit, I've never been there. The inhabiting crack heads may channel all that extra exuberance into cleaning.

Wait, that may be crank.
posted by effwerd at 3:59 PM on December 7, 2007

Goes well the the Freemont Barbie g-pack re-up playkit.
posted by Rhomboid at 4:04 PM on December 7, 2007

Useless trivia: Back in the late 1800s, some organization was tallying the number of brothels in each major American city. Understandably, some cities tried to downplay the number they had. Baltimore, on the other hand, doubled the estimate. Why? To cash in on the lucrative trade show business. More hookers = more out-of-town business.

True story.

The more you know.
posted by John of Michigan at 6:42 PM on December 7, 2007

I can tell you about The Block. It was 1960 and I was fourteen and we borrowed draft cards and my best friend’s older brother drove us downtown to The Block... to the Gayettee Burlesque Theater. The featured acts where Irma The Body and The Girl with the 50 inch bust. I was only about 5 foot 2 but they let me in anyway.

The girl with the 50 inch bust could spin her enormous breasts like a helicopter with one going one way and the other going the other way.

Then the foul mouthed baggy-pants comedians came on. They did hideous xxx jokes with the in-house strippers checking in when they wanted to.. Those guys where the last hard core vaudeville guys. They were not much loved by the crowd... after the booing reached a crescendo, the MC announced... “And now... direct from a tour of the crowned heads of Europe... the lovely Miss Irma The Body”.

Irma The Body was an eyeful. Then there was the rose that she... it was a bit much for a boy like me, shoved up her pussy and tossed out and a guy caught it and ate it.

Eight years later I was driving a cab and working for an underground newspaper. We ran a house for runaways and there was a fifteen year old girl who wanted us to call her Silver who had an OK home but she used to hang out with us so she could stay naked all the time. Her naked name was Silver. We were pretty casual about nudity. After we got busted I didn’t put on any clothes for a couple of days after we got out of jail.

Anyway, I wasn’t the most gung ho cab driver ever but I would cruise The Block on slow nights because there was always something happening there. If nothing else, the strip clubs kept their doors open so you could look in for a teaser.

One night I got a pickup call for Blaze Starr’s club. I pulled up outside and a fantastic Hollywood woman came out in a lowcut-skintight gown with some generic rich guy. After about 5 minutes in the cab she says, a bit perplexed, “Don’t you remember me, I’m Silver?
posted by Huplescat at 7:10 PM on December 7, 2007 [4 favorites]

Where's Drunken Irish fuck-up Jimmy McNulty? Otherwise a neat project.

Oh, and thanks for sharing Huplescat! Very vivid.
posted by Scoo at 7:29 PM on December 7, 2007

I was going to say, Scoo, shouldn't these be the miniatures that Lester is always working on?
posted by scblackman at 8:13 PM on December 7, 2007

I remember seeing the block as a child when our bus for a field trip took a wrong turn and ended up on Baltimore street. Lots of excitement for grade schoolers.
A friend of mine was saying how he grew up on the Block. His father was passed out drunk on the couch and awoke to hear his mother and her boyfriend conspiring to kill him. The old man jumped up and threw the boyfriend through the (second floor) window.
You have to keep in mind, this is the town where a minister let John Waters show his early movies (Multiple Maniacs, Pink Flamingos) in the church basement.
posted by 445supermag at 9:55 PM on December 7, 2007

At the door of each of the clubs lining The Block is a doorman who swings the door open as you walk by to try and lure you in. My friend and I would walk down the The Block just to see door after door open before us.
posted by vorpal bunny at 10:10 PM on December 7, 2007

I remember seeing the block as a child when our bus for a field trip took a wrong turn and ended up on Baltimore street.

This exact thing also happened to me, as well as many I know who grew up in Charm City. I think it's a conspiracy among the school bus drivers. An awesome conspiracy.
posted by dhammond at 10:14 PM on December 7, 2007

This is beautiful and awesome and reminds me in vivid detail of why I no longer live in Baltimore. Yeah, it's not THE block, but it probably is one on Eager Street or somewhere. Maybe Highlandtown, my old neighborhood. Anyway, I have happily emailed it off to all my Baltimoron friends and this has totally made my Saturday. Thanks!
posted by mygothlaundry at 8:53 AM on December 8, 2007

I thought they caught the Miniature Killer.
posted by kirkaracha at 9:28 AM on December 8, 2007

Also very disappointed that this wasn't about The Block.

My mom used to tell me how delighted she was as a child with all of the animated-effect neon signs on The Block advertising the nightclubs. To the horror of her parents, she would always crane her neck to try to get a better look at the signs when they drove down Charles St. This was in the forties and fifties. It was just a place for a lame dare to walk into a seedy bookstore by the time I was a teenager in the 80s.
posted by desuetude at 2:42 PM on December 8, 2007

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